All language subtitles for Hack My Life s04e07 The Key To Hacks.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately.

[ Screams ]

Saturdays tend to be
our busiest day of the week.

It's always some weekend warrior
decides to push it.

Next thing you know...

Calling all units.

We have a report of
a cyclist in distress.

Correction -- a cyclist
who's just stressed.

-Ooh, uh...
-Copy. This is gonna be ugly.

[ Siren wails ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Grunting ]

All right, you want to tell us
what happened here?

I forgot to fill up my water
bottle, I got dehydrated,

and now my leg's
all crampy.

So I got a sandwich bag here.

Gonna fill that
with two cups water,

one cup rubbing alcohol,
and then seal it.

You got a place where Jack
can freeze this thing?

Well, that's my house
over there.

You got to be kidding me.

-[ Grunting ]
-All right. One step.

These are gorgeous
mahogany floors.

One, two, three.
-Timber!

All right.

You want to freeze this water
and this rubbing alcohol

for about an hour, then you
will have hacked yourself

a gel-style ice pack that molds
itself perfectly to your leg.

Ah, sweet relief.

Oh, my god. What happened?
What did you do?

-Ma'am --
-it's fine, honey.

It's just a cramp.

I mean our beautiful
mahogany floors!

They're scratched beyond
recognition.

-Narrator: Tonight...
-That was amazing.

-...on "hack my life"...
-Real tight.

Brooke: Don't want to shell out
for a locksmith?

Oh, snap.

We test hacks to get
a broken key out of your door.

-Oh, yeah!
-Oh, my god.

And we're giving slippery shoes
the pink slip.

We've got a killer hack for
adding traction to your kicks.

Look at how confident.

-Plus...
-[ Grunts ]

...we try hacks to break down
the brick of brown sugar

in your cabinet.
-Curse you, brown sugar.

Get comfortable.
-Whoa!

This is "hack my life."

Let me paint
a picture for ya.

Winter Olympics --
ice-dancing finals.

You've got a whole bunch
of money

that aiken's gonna
take the gold,

you're racing to get inside

'cause you want
to watch it live,

you're trying to get inside,
and, oh, snap, you break a key.

Like, literally, oh, snap.
-Don't worry.

We have three viewer-submitted
hacks to help get you indoors

without having to call that
creepy locksmith

who now has your home address
and a way inside.

Oddly specific and personal.

It is.

Both:
This is hack mail.

Each one of these locks has
a broken key stuck inside.

We broke all three keys
in the exact same way

so that each hack has a shot
to receive our...

Both:
Hack seal of approval.

Our first hack today comes from
Diane in Kansas City, Missouri.

Let's give this
a try here.

There's our lock.
Can confirm key's stuck, right?

-Key's stuck.
-Got our glue.

Okay.

Okay, there's
our precious nectar.

Please don't call it
nectar.

What?

Okay, well,
it's on there,

and it's gonna take
a minute to dry, right?

Okay.

[ Sputtering ]

Your birthday-cake-candle
situation

must've been a disaster.

[ Laughing ]
It was very soggy.

Bobby pin is on the key.

I feel like it's had
more than enough time, right?

Okay.

Okay, here we go.
Nice and delicate.

-[ Chuckles ]
-Aw, what?

I could've never imagined
that would happen. Never!

I could've never imagined
a Bobby pin wouldn't stick.

-Didn't see it coming.
-Are you kidding me?

Our second hack comes to us
from Oscar

in greenfield, Massachusetts.

Want me to do
the honors here?

-Ice? Tweezers? Yeah.
-Ice this bad boy?

Okay, do we think that ice

froze the metal enough
to shrink it down?

I mean, how long does it take
for your shrinkage to occur?

Like, in the --
-oh, usually, seconds.

Seconds. Okay. Cool.

Let's see
if that lock shrunk.

I'm gonna go
for some tweezers now.

Try to line it up.

I can't even really get...

♪♪

Huh.

Nothing contracted enough
for those tweezers

to sneak in there and grip it
so that you can yank it out.

Yeah, I don't think
this is gonna work.

This is the worst game
of "operation."

Okay, couldn't get
the job done.

Our third and final hack comes
from Sean in Cleveland, Ohio.

Okay, let's try it.

So I don't think the point is
to go on either side.

Yeah, the key's not sticking out
enough.

-Top there.
-Oh, so you're gonna go down?

-Well, 'cause it pushes down.
-Okay, well, that's good.

Then work with that.
-Maybe this time.

I feel like it's getting
in there enough.

-Something's happening.
-Now it's just a leverage game.

Now it's like trying to pop open
a beer bottle.

-Oop!
-Yeah!

Yes! Yes, ma'am.

Oh, my god.
That actually worked.

Insane.
Congrats to you, Sean,

because your scissor hack
gets our official...

Both:
Hack seal of approval.

-Oh-ho!
-Oh, my.

-Is that what I look like?
-[ Laughs ]

Why didn't anybody tell me?
Close it.

♪♪

♪♪

Brooke: She's cunning,
she's calculating,

and she's using
unscrupulous hacks

to get the better of every Tom,
dick, and Harry in her path.

Beware the cold-blooded hacker.

Even the cold-blooded hacker
couldn't worm her way

out of the 9:00-to-5:00 slog,

but she has some tricks
up her sleeve

to get the better
of her co-workers.

The cold-blooded hacker
has a private sanctuary,

and it's called
stall number three.

To keep it private,
she's got a hack

to prevent other people
from using it.

By pouring a cup of coffee
in the toilet

first thing in the morning,

the facilities will look
unappealing to others

until she needs them
later in the day.

[ Gags ]

Consider that seat saved.

Think the cold-blooded hacker
spends her workday working?

Think again, chump.

To appear busy and to never have
to speak to her co-workers...

-Excuse me.
-...She keeps her desk phone

ringing off the hook
all day long

by using her cellphone
to call it.

I have this letter
I'm sending over.

I want you
to take a look at it.

[ Telephone rings ]

Good luck trying to let her know

what share of the work
you need her to take.

But she won't stop there.

She's using the company computer
and company time

to do all her online shopping.

Hey.

When someone approaches,

she switches
to her fake spreadsheet.

I need you to update
the Miller account.

Yeah, she'll get to that never.

The long day of doing nothing
is a real drag.

The cold-blooded hacker
wants to leave work early,

but she can't afford
to get caught sneaking out.

She has a hack to mask
her early departure.

[ Yawns, sighs ]

I still have that
letter if you want to --

she keeps her computer on
so it seems like she stepped out

for a quick smoke break, but
poof, she's gone for the day.

So, working men and women,

watch out before a wily hacker
gets the best of you.

While you're doing her work,

she'll knock you right off
that corporate ladder.

So beware
the cold-blooded hacker.

[ Grunts ]

Curse you, brown sugar.

[ Chuckles ]

Sugar and spice is not so nice

when it forms
a single hardened mass,

so today we're gonna test out
three hacks

to see which does the best job

at transforming a brick of brown
sugar back into usable granules.

[ Bell dings ]

This is hack vs. Hack.

Today I'm joined
by three pastry chefs --

krystin, Elizabeth, and Paul.

We have three hacks today

that supposedly will transform
bricks back into granules.

You ready to see the hacks?
-Absolutely.

-Yeah, yeah.
-Your hacks today are...

-Oh.
-Hmm.

Hack number one, we got
a classic cheese grater.

Hack number two,
full baseball bat.

Hack number three
is a portable steamer.

-Interesting.
-Okay.

Chefs, it's time to select
your hacks. Krystin?

The grater.
I think it would be the easiest.

Elizabeth?

I think I'm gonna
have to go with the bat.

It looks like it has
a lot of power.

Elizabeth, I'm gonna
hand you your hack,

and that means, Paul,
you get the steamer.

I would've picked it first
anyway, so...

-Really?
-No, maybe not.

-Okay, yeah.
[ Laughter ]

Here's how the competition's
going down.

You'll have two minutes total
to grate, pummel, or steam

as many brown-sugar granules
into your bowls as possible.

I'm gonna weigh each bowl,
and whoever has the most

brown sugar broken up will be
declared the winner.

Everybody ready?
-Ready.

In three, two, one.
Hack!

I'm seeing some scrubbing motion
happening here

and some brown sugar's
coming off.

The steamer is melting
some brown sugar.

This is really hard.
[ Chuckling ] Oh, my god.

-Elizabeth, what's happening?
-It's not working.

All right, you guys
have one minute left.

It's anybody's game.

Krystin, how's that grater
working out for ya?

I'm concentrating, sorry. I just
don't want to shred my fingers.

Okay, what's happening down
there, Paul?

I'm trying to use
one of the bricks

to break up the other one
while it's steaming it.

That's good.
And, Elizabeth,

you're rolling yours now
like pizza dough?

Yeah, I'm breaking it up
and then rolling it.

10 seconds, everyone.

♪♪

Five, four, three, two, one.

That is it. Time is up.
Hands up.

Let's walk through the results,
and, Paul, what happened?

It, like, melted it and turned
it into molasses

rather than granulating it.
-Let's go ahead and weigh it.

Paul's steamer hack --
7.7 ounces.

-Whoa, that's not terrible.
-Those are numbers.

Exactly.

Elizabeth, the bat looks like
exhibit "a" now.

[ Laughter ]

Probably not the most effective.
Takes a lot of effort.

Let's see.
Your bowl would be 14 ounces.

Okay, now we're talking.

All right, krystin, do you mind
if I see the bowl here?

To beat Elizabeth,

you need to have more than
14 ounces of sugar in there.

And the weight of the
cheese-grater hack is...

[ Drumroll ]

...1 pound, 7 ounces,
and that's 23 ounces total.

-Yes!
-Wow.

Just not even
in the realm of close.

[ Bell dings ]

There you go, friends.

When you need to break up
a brick of brown sugar,

some hacks are, in fact,
"grater" than others.

-Oh.
-[ Laughs ]

Brooke: Coming up...

-Whoa!
-Oh, my god!

...we test a traction hack
for slippery shoes.

Walk for us.

Kevin: And Brooke turns
bad taste in music

into cool decor with
a record-breaking hack...

This is music to my ears.

...when the "hack"
comes back.

Kevin:
We now return to "hack 911."

What did you do
to the floor?

The clips on your bike shoes
have scratched up

our fine mahogany floors.

She's right. These floors are
dangerously scuffed up.

Why are the cops here?

Oh. [ Chuckles ]

It's a common
misconception.

We're emergency hack
technicians.

We help people
solve problems

with unusual items
and in unexpected ways.

So are you gonna do something
about these floors, or what?

Get me a cup of raw walnuts,
stat.

What you're going to want to do
is take a walnut

and rub it up and down
the scratch.

Then you're going to use your
finger to soften up the oils.

Then you're gonna want to take
a soft cloth,

wipe it up and down like this,
and that Mark should disappear.

If only it were that easy to get
this guy out of his spandex.

Think I'm really stuck.

-Remember the oath.
-To hack and serve.

I even went to her stupid
birthday party,

and she's still
mean to me.

-She's just mad that -- whoa!
-Oh, my god!

-Hot sausage!
-Are you okay?

Ooh, not really.

Two issues -- one,
someone spilled coffee

all over the floor,
and, two,

these dress shoes
have no traction.

Oh, my god.
There's a hack to add

more traction to the bottom
of your shoes.

We should see
if the hack works

and then push it as far
as we possibly can.

Both:
This is hack it to the limit.

If you take a regular shoe,
you can add some traction to it

by just using
two simple ingredients --

rubber cement
and coarse salt.

I'll grab
a little rubber cement.

Rubber cement adheres the salt
to the bottom of the shoe.

Just going for thorough.

You know, like a nice,
even layer,

and it's starting to smell
real delicious here.

Yes, it is.

-Get some salt on it?
-Yep.

In a pinch, you can now use
your shoes to season food.

Take a shot of Tequila,
lick the boot...

I'm gonna just kind of shake off
the excess a little bit.

All right, so you can
just pop these on

and hack it to the limit.
We're gonna break kev--

oh, no. No, we're not --
I'm not gonna do it.

We'll have Brett do it.

He's a stunt man!

'Cause you don't
want to do the hacks?

-I'm a delicate bird.
-Okay.

So, Brett, you're gonna help us
push this hack to the limit,

and that's going to involve
three trials.

Trial number one --

strutting your stuff on
a super slippery teflon runway.

Phase two -- we're gonna grease
the runway

with silicone-based lubricant.

For our third challenge, we're
gonna ramp it up, literally.

For the ultimate test,
we'll take that lubed ramp

and put it
at a steep incline.

To pass the test,
you'll have to walk

down the runway and back
without falling.

You fall on your ass,
the hack fails.

We hacked it
to the limit.

I think you're gonna conquer
all three challenges.

I think this hack
is going all the way.

I think you'll get through
the first two no problem.

What about the third?

I don't know that you guys
are gonna make it.

Let phase one begin.
Brett.

♪♪

He looks ready.
Walk for us.

All right.

♪♪

Solid walk.

Confident.

Ooh. Okay, a bit of a slide,
but he didn't fall.

Got a little spicy with it.

Both: Mm.

Brett, how was that?

It was good. It was easy.

Thus completeth
phase one.

Phase two,
the lubed runway.

Ew.

-What? A lit--
-sorry. Nothing.

It's for science.

Ah.

Brett!

Brett, size it up.
Take a second.

Drink it in.

Godspeed, son.

♪♪

Look at how co-n-n-nfident...

He is as he struts
through the lube.

♪♪

Okay, he's definitely
on some slick terrain,

but the shoes
are holding him steady.

Brett, talk us through it.

It was a lot more slippery,
but it's still gripping.

All right, phase three.

We got ourself
a nice, slippery decline.

This is where Brooke
thinks the hack will fail,

but I believe
it will prevail.

[ Singsong voice ] Brett.

♪♪

A confident step
onto the platform

thanks to the power
of salt.

Brett, I believe in you.
You're gonna make it

all the way there,
all the way back,

and you're gonna prove there is
no limit to this hack.

Brett, I want you to stay safe,
but I'd like to win.

So I'm hoping you eat it.

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

♪♪

Confident stride.
Look at that.

All right, okay.

Confident! Easy, Brett!
Good slide.

Control --

[ yelling in slow motion ]

Ha-ha! That was amazing.

The salt on the shoes,
while it might help you

navigate some slippery
situations,

looks like we hacked...

-It...
-To...

-The...
-Limit.

Coming up...
Keep calm and up-cycle.

...don't waste your money
on flea-market finds.

I show you how to turn clutter
to clutch.

And I reveal
the top-secret hacks

your supermarket
is using on you.

Supermarkets have nearly doubled
the size of shopping carts.

When we come back.

We now return
to "hack 911."

I think I'm stuck.

And I thought
my uniform was tight.

Okay, okay,
just stop, stop.

Jack, can you grab me
the petroleum jelly?

-On it.
-Ah, great.

I'm not sure I like
where this is going.

Relax. What you're
gonna want to do

is apply a thin layer of jelly
to the skin

and then slide the spandex
down over it.

Permission
to apply jelly?

Yes?

No, you're --
you're doing it.

I'm not doing that.

♪♪

Okay, ready?

Three, two, one.

-Whoa! Whoa!
-Whoa!

Whoa!

-It makes me more aerodynamic.
-Oh, my god.

-Lead me. Lead me out.
-Get the bag.

No, you get the bag.
Get the bag.

-Where's the bag?
-Straight down to the right.

Have a great day.

It was wonderful getting to --
to know you.

Hear are your pants.
I can't. You're welcome.

Thank you.
To hack and serve, baby.

Wow. Wow.

♪♪

[ Groaning ]

Aah! Oh, god. Oh, oh.

What -- what is it?
What, what?

Oh, oh, it's this goddamn
pumpkin.

I hate scooping out the guts.
It's really scary.

Well, you know, there is
an old pirate's fable

that you can cleanly gut
a pumpkin

with a power drill
and an eggbeater.

Really?

What?

"Wayne's world"?
What is that?

What are you?

Sexy Kevin
from "hack my life."

This shirt's so stiff.

-Yeah.
-I'm a beta nerd.

-I got it. [ Chuckles ]
-Yeah. Oh.

Oh, bad idea.

This is hack or wack.

Okay, so, Kevin, you've got a
solution for cleaning a pumpkin

without making it feel like you
just midwifed a baby calf.

Yeah, very simple.

The supposed hack is to use a
drill with an eggbeater attached

to gut a pumpkin
faster and neater.

It's always something jammed
in a drill with these bits.

Well, that's usually how
drills work.

There's really not
a lot to it.

-Okay.
-Do you want to do the honors?

All right.

Oh!

Okay, yeah, really -- no finesse
with that trigger, huh?

You just full-blast.
It's all or nothing.

Oh, god.

Yeah.

You're supposed to lick
the beater clean.

Then I'm gonna get --

oh, you reversed
the direction.

Oh, god.
-Okay, let me try that again.

That is not good.

Okay, now you're drilling
through the pumpkin.

Uh-huh.

-I got a little something.
-Yeah, you sure do.

Right in the bucket, please.

Trick or treat.

Only take one.
Honor system.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Spitting ]

I'm sorry.

So, less mess on your hands,
more mess everywhere else.

Okay, how is this different
from reaching into a pumpkin?

This is no better, yeah.

Hack does a good job
of getting in there,

getting all the pumpkin guts
on the eggbeater,

but now --
-we need a hack for this.

I started out optimistic because
it just kind of got in there

and whirled everything up like
spaghetti on a fork, you know?

I got, like, a big, old bite.
-A big, old bite.

But then we're faced
with the same dilemma

of having to get in there with
your hand and a spoon.

We left a mess on ourselves
and the room,

so I have to say the
eggbeater-drill-bit pumpkin cleaner, it's wack.

It's wack.

"I'm Kevin pereira.
Argh, argh, argh, argh."

What?!

"Look at my apple watch.
Is my uber here?"

♪♪

He uses lyft.

♪♪

Aah! Ow!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

All right, you've done a great
job of clearing out

all your mixtapes
and your cd boxed sets,

but you're going, "oh, my
goodness.

What's that horrible moaning,
whining sound I still here?"

It's your ex-boyfriend's vinyl

that he left
on your record player.

So we're gonna hack that record
into a beautiful candy bowl.

All you need for this hack
is a cookie sheet,

a large bowl and a small bowl,

and terrible taste in music.

♪♪

Let's remember to keep calm
and up-cycle, all right?

First, put the smaller bowl

facedown on the cookie sheet,
record on top of that,

and then the big bowl
on top of it like so.

Now, you're gonna heat this
whole contraption up

to 200 degrees in the oven.

All right, really important --

don't heat your oven any hotter
than 200 degrees,

because it will release
toxic fumes.

[ Bell dings ]
Let's pop this bitch in there.

All right, and then all you do

is bake it for five to eight
minutes.

This is music to my ears.

All right, so after
you've let it cool,

here's your finished product.

[ Gasps ]
Look what we have here.

Congratulations, you've just
upcycled some bad taste in music

to a totally rad candy bowl.

This is what my revenge diet
looks like.

Oh, man,
they're gonna love this.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]
#available.

Coming up...
Shh!

...i uncover the hacks
that grocery-store owners

use to line their pockets.

Real tight.
-When we come back.

Hi. I'm officer mack,
the star of "hack 911."

Do you always find yourself
pulling into a gas station

and your tank being
on the opposite side?

You're not an idiot.

Maybe there's a little hack
you don't know about.

Just look at your little
gas-indicator light

and right next to it
should be an arrow

pointing to which side of
the car your gas tank is on.

No more awkward eight-point
turns in the gas station.

[ Chuckles ]

You don't have to feel like
an idiot because you aren't one.

[ Ting! ]

But, seriously, like,
how do people not know

what side of the car
their gas tank is on?

Is it a new car?

Man:
Maybe it's a rental.

♪♪

♪♪

Hello, and congratulations

on becoming the owner
of a supermarket.

Today I'm gonna teach you
the secret hacks you'll need

to consistently scam
your clientele

for all they are worth.

But if anybody who does not
manage a supermarket sees it,

they will know your hacks,

and then who will we have left
to con?

So make sure to burn this tape
after you watch it.

Promise.

Let's set the stage
with the front of the store,

where you'll want to display
your rainbow of produce.

You'll also want to periodically
mist that colorful produce.

Customers think it's to keep
the produce fresher,

but, in fact, it's just a hack
to make them think that.

It actually causes them
to spoil faster.

The sooner their produce spoils,

the sooner
they'll be buying more.

[ Chuckles ]

Strong food aromas are proven
to trigger hunger,

so put your especially
fragrant items,

like this rotisserie chicken,

close enough to the front
that customers

[sniffs] Catch [sniffs]
the scent,

but far enough away that they'll
have to wander through aisles

of nonessential items
to reach them.

Those lemmings will be in fast
pursuit of that chicken.

Not so fast.

Shh! Do you hear that?

Is that elevator music?

Oh, no, it's worse --
supermarket music.

Musicology studies
say that people are inclined

to walk to the bpm of the music
they here.

That's beats per minute.

Control their gait by keeping
music and them slow.

That way, they won't miss out
on any of the scams.

[ Chuckles ] I meant "deals."

Over the past decade,

supermarkets have nearly doubled
the size of shopping carts,

and as a result,

the average consumer bought 19%
more product.

[ Chuckles ]

Time to corral them
into your checkout line.

So hack those lanes by making
them teeny-tiny

and crowd them with more stuff
to buy

and don't leave your customers
a place to put down any items

they realize they don't actually
need or want.

Okay, fellas. That's good.
That's getting real snug.

This video and the hacks it
contains will now self-destruct

so no customers
will ever be any the wiser.

♪♪

Real tight.

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