All language subtitles for Hack My Life s04e05 Solar-powered hacks.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately.

Welcome to "the hackchelor."

Man, that does not
roll off the tongue.

I'm your host, Chris hackison.

Tonight -- is there a hack
for true love?

We'll find out.

Ladies, it's time to meet
the hackchelor.

What did he say?

I thought this was
"the bachelor."

♪♪

Hello, ladies.

I'm Ben.

I wanted to give
each of you something

that shows you who I am.

Go ahead, open them.

Thanks, Ben.

But, Ben, what is it?

They're bagel totes.

They're made from old cd holders

to keep your bagels
fresh on the go.

What are cds?

How do you open it?

At first I thought the hack
was a little weird.

But by the end
of our introduction,

I was falling for him.

Well, grab your bags 'cause
we're going on a group date.

-Ooh!
-Whoo!

Will Ben find true love?

We'll see up next on
"the hackchelor."

Oh!

-Tonight...
-Pony up!

Brooke: ...On "hack my life"...

I'm gonna go hack to the future.

Kevin: We've got all
the gift-wrapping hacks

you could ever need.

That's amazing attention
to detail.

Brooke: Plus -- who needs
an expensive grill?

We try a flame-less barbecue
hack you need to see to believe.

Now, that's a nice sizzle!

Brooke: And lazy cook Brooke
shows you how to stop

letting your old wine
go to waste.

There's no last call
for this girl.

And the many surprising
uses of aspirin,

the hard-working hacker
in your medicine cabinet.

Kevin: Get back in the saddle!

This is "hack my life."

Hey, kev,
it's barbecue time!

Uh, yes, it is!

Where's the grill?

Oh, I sold it!
Cha-ching.

[ Chuckles ]
What do you mean?

We're gonna cook
with the power of the sun!

[ Sighs ]
What?

Why do I even ask
anymore?

This is hack or wack.

Yeah, I know
what you're thinking --

"it's a post-apocalyptic
barbecue."

No.
That's not what's happening.

No, actually, we're attempting
to cook these patties

using nothing
but a parabolic mirror,

the power of the sun,
and a chain link fence.

We've got all the materials
we need.

We're just gonna set up
some pillars with these buckets.

And then the fence is going
to be our grilling surface,

so we're gonna lay that
on top of the buckets.

All right,
set it right on there.

So, you're seeing
the grill form, right?

Whoo-hoo!
But we need

the heating element,
which is not charcoal or wood.

It is a --
well, why would it be?

No. Come on.
Parabolic mirror.

Yeah, got to be safe,
by the way...

Okay.
...'Cause they will

melt retinas
in addition to flank steaks.

Now, a parabolic mirror
is just a concave mirror.

Its unique shape allows it
to harness energy,

but also project it back.

And you can easily
buy one online.

Do you see
the fence lighting up?

Oh, wow!
Less talk, more cooking, kev.

All right, fair enough,
fair enough.

So, our starting point is about
114 degrees fahrenheit.

So we'll just let this sit
for a little bit and heat up.

All right.
Holy smokes!

That's a hot skillet!

Whoa.
That is 455 degrees.

Whoo!
Wow.

I think we can actually throw
some meat on it.

Oh, we -- yeah, that is perfect
grill temperature.

Let's do it.
Ooh!

Now, that's
a nice sizzle.

Look -- it's getting
hot enough to cook.

I mean, there's
no denying that.

No, this is cooking this burger
in normal stovetop time.

I feel like it needs
a flip, right?

I needs a flip.
There we go.

Oh!
Flippy, flip, flip.

This is dangerously hot,
but it's really effective.

How well done do you
like your meat?

I like a burger medium-rare.

All right, b.V.P., you're
so hungry I'll let you...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
...Do the honors.

♪♪

[ Sniffs ]
Smells like a burger.

We just used the power
of the sun, a parabolic mirror,

a chain link fence,
and some buckets to cook

a slab of meat
on a skillet.

We used no fuel.
The proof is in the pudding --

or the Patty,
I guess, in this case.

If that's remotely edible,
I say it's a hack.

But, Brooke,
it's not up to me.

It's not.
It's up to you.

I mean, obviously, may not
your everyday set-up,

but you nailed
this burger.

This is definitely
a hack, kev.

It's a hack.

Whoo!

♪♪

Hmm.

♪♪

♪♪

Kevin: Sometimes
an item is so useful

it ascends into the pantheon
of great hacking tools.

Today we celebrate one
that truly has become

a hack all-star --

aspirin.

Aspirin will cure
whatever ails you

and all the headaches
that come with it.

There's nothing more callous
than a callous,

but you can break through
that hard exterior

by making a paste
with aspirin and water

and giving yourself
a well-earned foot rub.

All-star.

Keep your pit stains in check.

Aspirin and water will
remove those stains,

and you won't even
break a sweat.

All-star.

And keep your scalp flake-free

by dropping an aspirin
into your shampoo bottle.

A quick rinse will stop dandruff
in its tracks.

All-star.

To keep your flower arrangements
from wilting,

add some aspirin
to the bouquet.

All-star.

Applying a crushed aspirin

to a pimple helps clear
your skin in no time.

All-star.

And you can celebrate
your headache-free life

by using your aspirin
bottles as maracas.

All-star.

Congratulations, aspirin.

You've made our problems
much less painful.

You truly are a hack
all-star.

♪♪

So, you've popped open
a third bottle of wine

and pass out
after only two sips.

Of course you've lost
the cork,

and now you've got to kill
that bottle before it goes bad.

Well, today I'm gonna
show you

some hacks to get more action
out of that old bottle.

There's no last call
for this girl.

I'm going to hack together
a cocktail called kalimotxo,

which is the ultimate easy,
lazy beverage

when you need to finish
an old bottle of wine fast.

50% red wine, 50% cola --

it's really refreshing
for a hot day or a beach day.

I love it.

All right, I know a lot of you
are like, "let's call it a day,"

but we've got another hack
for totally undrinkable wine,

which requires
some next-level hacking.

We can use it to make

a delicious
chocolate wine cake, huh?

All you need to get started
are some basic pantry staples.

So, we'll do our wet
ingredients first.

I'm going to mix olive oil
with vanilla extract.

Here's another hack to
give it a fruity flavor --

add some jelly.

And then, of course,

I'm just gonna throw
in the red wine, as well.

That will do.
Our dry.

So here's our wheat flour,
add our sugar, salt,

and some cocoa powder,
and these guys together.

You guys, there's no need to
waste perfectly good bad wine.

Give these guys a nice stir.

This is like a double whammy
for everyone with alcohol

and

this is a twofer.

Okay, the oven is preheated
to 350 degrees,

and I'm gonna pop bundt pan
with our chocolate wine cake

in there
for about 40 to 50 minutes.

Let's go!
Oh, my god!

It's leftover-wine o'clock
somewhere.

Let's -- wha --
flip this bad boy.

Yeah.

Now you can have
your drink and cake

and drink and eat it, too.

I'm drunk.

Kevin: Up next a hack master
shows us how to present

any present with amazing
gift wrapping hacks.

I like to say I put the
"present" in "presentation."

And we see if this
pony-riding hack

is all
it's cracked up to be.

[ Screams ]

♪♪♪

Who will Ben decide to share
his life hacks with forever,

and whose life will be ruined?

"The hackchelor" returns now.

♪♪

Ben: Today I'm taking the girls
on a surprise group date.

That's me on a date
with three girls,

because that's
a normal thing to do.

I'm so glad you're all here
with me today.

So I've brought you out
to one of my favorite places --

the backyard.

-Wow.
-Wow.

Today I prepared
a romantic picnic breakfast.

Sarah, I was wondering,
do you have a portable

butane curling iron
with you?

[ Laughs ]
Do I have one?

Uh, of course.

So prepared --
I love that about you.

Winning.

I'm gonna share with you
one of my favorite recipes --

curling iron eggs.

The heat from
the curling iron

cooks the eggs
right in the bowl.

I knew I should have
packed my hair curler.

Bon appétit.

Is that sanitary?

I don't know
what her problem was.

Maybe it wasn't sanitary.

It's one of my best hacks.

Amanda, I didn't know you felt
that way about hacks.

Why are you
even here?

How dare you?

-Girls, don't fight!
-You don't know my struggles,

and I thought I was
going on a different TV show.

Oh, my god, Ben!
Are you okay?

♪♪

♪♪

[ Groans ]
Kev. Oh, my god.

Ah, threw my back out.

I was hanging out with
the niece this weekend.

She pretends she's a jockey
and I'm a pony,

and it's a -- it's --
I threw it out.

It hurts so bad.

Well, I think
I've got something

that can get you
back in the saddle.

Together:
This is hack delivery.

[ Doorbell rings ]

In hack delivery, we test out
an existing product

you can buy online
and decide if it's

a sleeper or a keeper.

Don't waste your money
on potentially bogus products.

Let us do that for you.

Oh, here she be --
the original pony up daddy.

[ Horse neighs ]

This is, apparently, a saddle
that an adult would wear

to more evenly distribute
a child's weight

and keep them
from falling off

without tearing up their shirt
or hurting their back.

I know it says "pony daddy,"
but it's 2018.

I'm a pony mommy.

Look at this --
like an airline safety brochure.

And you're just bypassing
the 11 steps required.

Hey, everyone.
This is Amara.

Amara, everyone.

Hi!
In just a few moments,

Brooke is going to
basically go through

the pony equivalent
of the Kentucky derby

with Amara on her back.

So we're gonna try
the pony up daddy,

do a lap,
then we'll take it off

and see which provides
the smoother riding experience.

Throw you up here --
here we go.

Three, two, saddle up.

Boom.
[ Neighs ]

I'm gonna
throw this on you.

Yeah, will you guys
have some carrots

and a bag of hay
for me after this?

Yeah, we'll get you a little
feed bag or something.

Perfect.
We'll put some chipotle in it.

Great. Wonderful.
Okay.

In three, two, pony up!

Here we go, Amara.

Okay.

Whoa!

And it's 5:00 somewhere
coming around the first bend.

And it looks like
she's avoided the cone.

Almost kicked over a robot,
and there we go.

It's still 5:00 somewhere
coming around in the lead.

[ Giggling ]

Great job.

Record time.

But this time
we're gonna do it

the old-fashioned way.
Okay.

We'll see if this
is an improvement.

All right --
off with my girder.

Now, no natural grip,
so you got to figure

that one out, Amara.
That's okay.

Don't go for
the tufts of hair.

And three...
Okay.

...two, pony up!

Okay.
Oh, that's okay.

You're gonna use
my collar as the break.

Amara's on, but she's shifting
all over the place.

If only
there was a saddle.

-It's not -- oh, oh!
-Whoa.

-I got --
-you almost lost Amara.

Okay.
Here we go-- whoa!

All right, Amara,
time to saddle down.

Off you go.
How was that ride?

-Okay. All right.
-Oh!

It says that
on the box.

Yeah, it says
"more good."

[ Laughs ]

It seems like without
the saddle,

the weight distribution
was all over the place.

Oh, yeah, and my back definitely
felt better with it on.

It seemed like without
the saddle you were getting

choked by your own shirt.
Yes.

And Amara almost fell off
without it.

So all things considered,
Brooke,

we keeping the pony up daddy,
or are we sending it back?

I say keep it.

It's Amara-approved.

This whole parenting thing,
I think we'll do good at it

one day.
[ Screams ]

Not like you and --
not like you and me, but --

right, right.
Or also...

[ Screams ]

Never.
...Maybe never.

Kevin: Coming up --

I learn gift-wrapping hacks
from a pro.

It's hack master.

You're amazing.

Brooke: And stop
tossing and turning.

We're trying out hacks
to fight insomnia.

Ugh.

♪♪

I'm a little shaken up.

But I'm okay.

I want to show you all something
that can fix this.

It's a hack.

But I'm gonna have to take
my shirt off to show you.

-Wow.
-Wow.

Ooh.

Ben: I always carry around with
me a bottle of hydrogen peroxide

and dish soap.

Mix them together, and it'll
remove the mud stain like this

and a lot
of other stains like it.

See?

Okay, but wouldn't it just be
easier to use, like,

a stain pre-treater
or something like that?

You know, because...

Claire: [ Scoffs ] Amanda,
what is your problem?

Don't you even want
to win this thing?

That's when I knew.

Amanda, my time with you
has been amazing,

but you've made me realize that

I need to spend
the rest of my life

with someone who loves hacks
as much as I do.

I can't give you a Rose.

I'm sorry.

I don't care about hacks.

Goodbye, Amanda.

All right.
Where's my limo?

I thought this was
"the bachelor."

[ Thunder crashes ]
There is nothing worse

than rain
running your day.

Oh, yes, there is --
rain ruining your outfit.

No, seriously.
I rarely remember to bring

an umbrella with me.

Okay, well, in lieu
of proper rain gear,

today we're gonna test
some hacks that could

keep you dry
during a downpour.

Okay, we're good.
We're done.

Thank you.
Thank you.

This is hack vs. Hack.

Today we're joined by
three brave shoppers

who are going
to test out these hacks --

aissa, Karen, and Raul.

Now, they will be racing
through our farmers' market

and doing their best
to dodge a downpour.

And if you failed
to notice,

they're all wearing gray
from head to toe

so that way we can see
which water they missed,

and that'll let us know
which hack is most effective.

Now, these are all hacks
that you might have on you

if you are out and about
running some errands

when it's raining
and you don't have

an umbrella in your car.

Are you ready to see
your hacks?

-Yes.
-Absolutely.

Hack number one --
it's a floor mat.

This can supposedly
shield you from the storm.

Just go full
"handmaid's tale."

Flop it over your head --
that's it.

Our second hack --
a child car seat.

Just remove
the child first.

That's our only request.

Last but not least --
a gym back.

Desperate times call
for desperate hacks, okay?

No one likes
getting wet.

Which hack do you want?

I want the gym bag.

-The gym bag.
-Karen?

I'm gonna go with
the car seat.

Okay. I like this.
Raul?

I think I'm gonna go
with the mat.

-Here you go.
-Why, thank you, thank you.

All right, friends,
here's how this

farmers' market
relay is going down.

You will all start
in the vehicle.

You will then need
to sprint past

our three water towers
to the fruit stand.

While you're there, you want
to get two of each fruit,

and then race back,
dodging the water again.

Whoever is the driest,
will be the winner of this

hack vs. Hack.

Okay, let's get
a little rain dance going.

Please shower us!

Can we get the rai--

[ thunder crashes ]

Okay, cool.
There we go.

Okay, great, great.

Hackers,
are you ready?

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

Let's hack, guys.

I like the effort.
Oh, wow.

Look at that car seat!

Karen coming in
from out of nowhere.

She may just have to
choose speed to stay dry.

Raul:
Oh, that water's cold!

Raul is soaked.

I don't think
he realizes

he should pull the flap
the other way.

Got to adjust.

And aissa --
she's now wearing the gym bag

like a vest-backpack
combo,

and it does seem
to be keeping her d--

okay, Raul is failing...
Yeah.

...miserably right now.

Aah!

Raul's hot stepping
back.

Come right on
in here, sir.

First to the finish.

Aissa headed back with her bag,
tip-toeing.

Oh, Karen, this is it.

This could be
make or break, Karen.

And, wow, that is it.
It is done.

Let's kill the rain.

Would you guys mind giving us
a quick once-around

so we can
assess the damage?

Yes, this is
a very wet runway.

Wow.
Okay.

Aissa, let's start with you.
You had the gym bag.

What happened
once you got there?

I tried to protect my back,
but I guess that failed.

Your arms are pretty soaked,
and your lower back got nailed.

Raul, you had the mat
on sideways.

Were you not able
to rotate it

at the risk of
exposing your shoulders?

Between fighting
for the fruit

and trying to keep the bag dry,
my mat gave out.

The mat was maybe not
the most effective hack.

It's anybody's game,
except for yours.

And, Karen, who knew
with that car seat?

I did not think that was
gonna work at all.

You are
surprisingly dry.

When I saw this,
I figured I'd be able to

balance on me so that
I could get the fruit

and still stay dry
at the same time.

I think we have to run it down
and make it official here.

We'll make it official.

This hack vs. Hack goes to
the child seat.

[ Bell dings, cheering ]

Congratulations,
Karen!

You won this
hack vs. Hack!

Friends, I'm here
with a certifiable hack master.

Alton, you are,
in fact,

the world's most famous
gift-wrapping artist.

That's right.

So, you know,
a lot of people say

it's the thought
that counts...

Liars.
...But what I always say

is it's the gift wrap
that counts.

Yes!
It's the look.

It's the presentation.
I like to say

I put the "present"
in "presentation."

Kevin:
This is hack masters.

How long have you been
wrapping gifts?

Professionally, for, like,
about 10 years.

Okay.
So, help me out here.

How can I use old
wrapping paper,

"out-of-season"
wrapping paper?

So, all I have is this

kind of holiday-themed
antler paper.

So, what I'm gonna do is

I'm gonna use
the back of this paper.

So a lot of times the paper
will be white on the back.

This happens to be
a craft paper.

What I have here is just
a bunch of celery.

Yeah, I was gonna ask you
about that,

but I figured
you were gonna get to it.

I'm just going to whack off
the excess there,

and then I'm using
an ink pad.

So, this is just what you use
for rubbing stamping, so --

sure. Oh, wait.
So, you're making

a celery stamp...
I am.

...for
the wrapping paper.

Who knew that mother nature
had a little Rose

inside the celery?

That's a fantastic hack
in and of itself.

You end up
with a gift wrap...

That's stunning!

...that looks like this.

[ Harp plays ]

Alton, I've got a nephew.
He's graduating very soon,

and I know what he wants,
and that's cold-hard cash.

Let me show you how
to make a gift wrap

out of dollar bills.

Okay, so we're turning this
into the gift wrap.

What we do is we turn them
upside-down

and tape them together.
Okay.

How much money are we talking
about giving, here?

You've already
exceeded my limit.

And, like, here I put
10 of them together.

10 almost makes
a decent-size...

Yeah.
...Gift wrap.

Here's one I've done where
I've wrapped a box with it.

Oh, that's gorgeous.

So this is $15 worth
of gift wrap --

could have nothing
inside of it.

This prohibits the
"great, what'd you get me?"

Rip, rip, rip. I don't even care
because this is the gift.

Savor the moment.

The gift wrap
is

and then if you are giving
a gift card, here's what I did.

So, the gift card's
inside.

These are the little
gift-card boxes

that you get wherever.
Yeah.

And then I take nine
dollar bills and made this bow.

You just fold it in half,
and then you just turn these

into these little loops
like this.

And then you just
stack these up.

That's amazing attention
to detail.

Thank you.
When your nephew gets it,

he can go
and spend it on strippers

or whatever he wants
to spend it on.

You've met him.
[ Laughs ]

So, how do I wrap something
that's oddly shaped

or that's
incredibly large?

Do I have to get
a refrigerator box?

You can wrap it to look
exactly like what it is.

"Wrap it to look
like it is"?

Yes.

Please walk me
through this.

What I did with this is I looked
at the individual pieces.

I just used boxes,
the gift-wrap tubes,

and I repurposed them
to cover each individual piece.

The seat is just
the basic box.

The tire -- see, it's just
cardboard on the back,

so it just
slides right in.

You're amazing!

Of course you deserve
the title of hack master.

Thank you...
Thank you.

...for sharing these
wonderful hacks.

Would you show me
how to ride a bike, too?

Do you have
any hacks for that,

because I really lack
a father figure.

Let's see.

Kevin: Coming up --
trouble falling asleep?

[Bleep]

"Criminal intent: San Diego"?

Kevin:
We've got insomnia hacks

to help you rest easy.

-[ Yawns ]
-So stick around.

Hi. I'm Brooke Van poppelen
from the future.

Back in your time,
I used to learn tons of hacks

I could do with pool noodles
and toilet brushes.

But none of them could save me

from all the cringeworthy
moments life can deal you.

Luckily, in the future
I've got emotional hacks

and a brand-new time machine.

To fix the past,
I'm gonna go hack to the future.

[ Tires squealing ]

When I look back on my life
and think of my greatest

enemies, one tops
them all -- insomnia.

I mean, just look at
this video from 2016.

Call sheet for tomorrow.

Ugh. 5:00 A.M.?

[Bleep].

Oh, my god. I'm never gonna
be able to fall asleep.

Not tired.

"Criminal intent: San Diego"?

[Bleep]

[ Cuckoo clock chiming ]

[ Sighs ]

Hurts to watch.

[ Telephone rings ]

[Bleep]

Man:Brooke, you overslept
and missed the shoot.

-Oh, god.
-We're replacing you

with Billy eichner.
-What?! No!

I've seen enough.

To prevent
my professional demise,

I think I'm gonna have
to go hack to the future.

[ Beeping ]

♪♪

I left a box on the bed with
some hacks inside and a note.

Ugh. 5:00 A.M.?

Oh, guess I'm going to bed now.

[ Sighs ]

What?

Oh, come on.
What is this?

Oh, I bet it's
from the producers.

[ Chuckles ]

"Brooke, I know you sometimes
have insomnia."

Well, they know me pretty well.
[ Chuckles ]

"You can make
a lavender pillow spray

which helps promote restfulness.

Just add a few drops of lavender
oil into that spray bottle

and lightly spray your linens.

The scent of lavender reduces
blood pressure and heart rate."

I'm closer.

What else we got?

"Move your pillows
to the foot of the bed.

Changing your setting
will help you disassociate

from the stress you experienced
where you were unable to sleep.

[ Sighs ]

A weighted blanket can help
ground your body

in a similar way
to deep-pressure touch.

It's proven to reduce levels
of the stress hormone cortisol."

Ugh.

♪♪

[ Birds chirping ]

Oh, wow!

Ah. Up and at 'em.

All right, b.V.P.

Let's go take over Hollywood.

Take over Hollywood?

That could change
the entire course of history.

I better get hack to the future.

Well, I'm back, and, boy,
are things different.

After using those hacks that
night that I got great sleep,

I had a dream that I invented

the most realistic robotic dog.

They don't eat, poop, or bark.

I'm worth billions.

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