All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e20 Hack on a Hot Tin Roof.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately.

[ Screams ]

♪♪

I need a translator
here, stat!

I cannot understand a word
this patient is saying!

[ Muffled ] I burned
my tongue on hot coffee.

It's hopeless.

I'm afraid I'm the
translator you requested.

Great.

Sir, can you tell me
what's going on?

I burned my tongue
on coffee.

He says he burned his tongue
on hot coffee.

Well, tell him not to worry,
that I'll be able

to fix him up in six hours
when the O.R. frees up.

Six hours?! O.R.?!

Why wait
when I have something

that can take away
the pain right here?

Not everyone wants to
hide from the real world

in a tiny plastic bottle
like you.

You've heard just
a spoonful of sugar

helps the medicine
go down?

When I was 4.

In this case,
itis

just let it dissolve
on your tongue,

and the glucose will make
the burn feel better.

It's working.
Oh, that feels much better.

Bet you're pretty proud
of yourself, aren't you, nurse?

Let me ask you something.
What if he's a diabetic?

I'm not.

Or, even worse,
on a low-carb diet.

Then what?
I'm actually trying togain

the point is that I am tired
of being outdone by your hacks!

You're on probation
until the end of the day.

No more treating patients
and no more hacks.

Those, nurse,
are the doctor's orders.

Kevin: Tonight...
Oh, yeah.

...on "hack my life"...

What's a camping trip
without burning some herb?

Brooke:
We clean up some dirty mouths with a teeth-whitening hack.

That is a sight.

Plus, it's host versus host

in a battle royale
of camping hacks.

[ Insect buzzing ]
Oh, bite me.

Kevin: And can I use a carrot
to carry a tune?

I feel like that's deep enough,
but she complained.

Brooke:
I gussy up my guest house.

Joselyn:
Your renter's gonna love this.

Brooke: Anything smells better
than poop, let's be honest.

Brooke: Focus up.
Oh, no.

Kevin: This...
Ugh!

...is "hack my life."

Mmm!

Charcoal -- we use it to
make burgers taste great

and to punish naughty kids
on Christmas morning,

but what if I told you this was
the secret to a brighter smile?

This is hack or wack.

I'm here with Tony and Ashley,

two friends
whose love of red wine

has turned their teeth
from white to rosé.

-And I will drink to that.
-Yeah.

Cheers. Pleasure
to meet you two.

-Cheers. Very nice to meet you.
-Hey. Thank you.

The problem with wine is
that, over time, red wine

can erode enamel,
it can lead to yellowing.

So now I have a hack that
supposedly will give you

that "fresh from
the dentist" feeling

for a fraction
of the price.

-Okay.
-Okay.

Activated charcoal.

Did you say "charcoal"?

-Activated
-oh.

We've got charcoal capsules
that we've broken open,

and we're gonna brush
with the powder.

This is the stuff
that hospitals use

to absorb anything
in the stomach.

Like, it's their go-to
for poison control.

So that must count
for something, right?

Uh, sure.

Go ahead and take a look
at your teeth

and get a nice peek
at the before.

Ashley:
That's not good.

Well, you've been having
some red wine, so that's good.

Yeah. Oh, a lot.

Got some water for you,
some activated charcoal,

and some toothbrushes.

Get that charcoal on the brush
and go to town.

At the end
of two minutes,

we'll take a look
at those smiles again.

♪♪

Oh, my god.
It's like oreos.

Oh, yeah.
That is a sight.

And, yep, a little bit
just flew into my eye.

Does it bother?
Any burning?

-Any weird itching?
-Feels like powder.

Like if you fell off
the monkey bars

and you got sand
in your mouth.

Like a grill
that was just used,

and you decided
to lick it.

[ Laughs ]

-Yep.
-[ Coughs ]

Every good television show
should have the line

"you may now use
the bucket" in it.

[ Bell dings ]

Ugh!

We're still struggling to
get rid of this hack, yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my god.

[ Laughs ]

All right, so,
the journey was terrible,

but maybe the destination
was worth it.

-Let's hope so.
-It's time to weigh in.

We need to know if activated
charcoal is hack or wack.

Well, take a look at
yourselves. Go ahead.

-Oh. Right.
-Okay.

Tony, how do you feel
about your smile?

They definitely look
brighter, and...Cleaner.

-All right. Ohh.
-Oh, wow.

Oh, wait. There was an "oh,"
"oh, wow," and then an "ohh."

I still have some
in my grooves.

-Oh, some charcoal in there?
-Yeah.

-In the grooves.
-Yeah.

But do you think
your teeth are whiter?

They are. It's whiter
than it was before.

So you need a brushing
on top of the charcoaling.

I need the floss. Yeah.
There has to be a flossing.

So, it is hack or wack?
Ashley, we'll start with you.

I think that it's a hack.

-I think it does work.
-That's one hack.

Tony?

[ Inhales sharply ]

Definitely a hack.

That's a hack!

Well, thank you, guys,
for subjecting your teeth

and your pride
to activated charcoal.

I know that's not easy to do
in a public place, but...

True.
...I will say the smiles are beautiful.

Cheers.

♪♪

[ Sizzling ]

[ Clock ticking, ding ]

[ Sparkle! ]

It's host against host.

And hack against hack.

We're gonna find out
who's the better hacker.

And whoever runs out of hacks
first is clearly the loser.

Ah, good times.

This is anything
you can hack...

I can hack better...
Camping edition.

There's nothing more integral
to a campsite than a campfire.

But sometimes, making said
fire can be a real burn,

which is why I like to carry
a little hand sanitizer.

Now, this has
a high alcohol content,

which makes it
incredibly flammable.

It'll help you start a fire
in no time.

Well, Brooke,
looks like the heat is on.

That's a good one,
but is it waterproof?

I'm gonna have to
fight fire with...

Petroleum jelly-covered
cotton balls.

Petroleum jelly
is also highly flammable,

and because it's oil-based,
it's also waterproof.

These little fire starters will
burn hard for up to 4 minutes

and stay lit in wind and rain.

Think I just smoked ya.

[ Insect buzzing ]
Oh, bite me.

Not you. The mosquitoes.
There's lots of them.

Luckily, I can hack together
a bug-repellent candle jar

using jars of water,
a few slices of lemon,

a sprig of Rosemary,
and a floating candle.

Mosquitoes really hate
the smell of citrus and herbs,

so this should keep
those bloodsuckers at bay.

What do you think
about that, Brooke?

I'll do you one better
and burn some sage.

Not only does it oust insects,
it also banishes bad energy.

What's a camping trip
without burning some herb?

You know?

Okay, Brooke, while you inhale
those "sage fumes,"

I'm gonna get ready for bed.

Unfortunately, getting
a good night's sleep

on ground this hard
can be, well, very hard.

If you unroll a yoga mat
beneath your sleeping bag,

you can create
a nice, gentle cushion.

[ Air hissing ]

By blowing up an inflatable pool
and filling it full of bedding,

you got yourself
a makeshift bed.

So comfortable!

This can hardly be called
"roughing it."

Wait. That's your hack? You're
gonna pack a whole kiddie pool

and inflate it
while you're camping?

It sounds like you're
out of hacks, Brooke.

What do you ta-- yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.

I can admit hack defeat
when I see it.

[ Buzzer ]

You're gonna get laughed
out of the campsite.

You know what?
It's okay.

I don't really like
camping anyways.

Kevin: Coming up,
I geek out and ask strangers

to hack my broken glasses.

Miss, you don't have anything
that can fix a pair of glasses,

do you?
Anything on you?

Brooke: And we test
viewers' best hacks

for getting the funk
out of a litter box...

Ugh!
...When we return.

♪♪

Kevin: Look out!

[ Rumbling ]
A fire-breathing monster

is about to crash
through this bridal suite.

It's the bride.

As maid of honor, it's your duty

to protect everyone
from her path of destruction,

and that's why you'll need

a hack line of defense
against bridezilla!

Where's my
maid of honor?!

At 5'4" and 112 pounds,

she may not cut
an imposing figure,

but when her bridal bouquet
starts to wilt,

she transforms into a beast!

[ Whap! ]

But you can hack
a new wilt-proof bouquet

by poaching flowers
from the centerpieces

and adding eucalyptus leaves.

Eucalyptus gives off menthol,

which will keep
those petals perky.

Lurking in the distance
is a threat

almost as dangerous
as the bridezilla herself --

the groom's idiot cousin.

What are you doing out here?!
You're drinking a beer?

He's in the wedding party,

but he's neglected to wear
the right color bow tie.

Doesn't he know that white
is for the bride only?

[ Slurps ]

But, by submerging
red crepe paper in water

to create a fabric dye,

you can hack that white
bow tie into the right color

and keep bridezilla
from seeing red.

Looks like bridezilla is ready
to stomp down the aisle,

but she's not going anywhere
inthose

stupid shoes.

Don't let her take
her discomfort out

on innocent bystanders.

Taping two of bridezilla's
talons, er, toes together

shifts her center of balance

and makes walking in those heels
much more comfortable.

Let's do this.

Nice work,
maid of honor.

Bridezilla is on her way

to being married
happily ever after,

thanks to you and
a hack line of defense.

♪♪

♪♪

There are few things in
this world cuter than kitties.

Unfortunately,
nothing compares

to the stank
of kitty litter.

True, so, today we're testing
three viewer-submitted hacks

for getting rid of
foul kitty-litter odor.

It's an adorably cute
hack mail.

We're gonna prep three
different litter boxes

and stinkify them
with substitute urine.

What kind of urine
is this, kev?

Musky old deer piss.

And then we're gonna let them
sit for about five minutes.

Whichever does the best
at reducing the odor

gets our certified...

Both:
Hack seal of approval.

We need a control,
obviously,

so that will be
litter box number 1.

We'll spray
some urine in there

and then see how it compares
to our hacked boxes.

-Ugh!
-Oh, okay.

It hit mommy
in the nostrils.

It's gonna get you.

Ohh! Yep.

Mm, just like the rhythm,
it's gonna get me.

Our first hack
comes to us

from Olivia from
south haven, Michigan.

A little baking soda,
a little ground cinnamon.

Hey. This smells...

Ohh. This reminds me of
grandma's butterscotch cookies.

It's missing an
ingredient, though.

Oh, yeah.
Kick it up a notch.

[ Sniffs ] Mnh!

Time to lid was a little
rough on that one, Brooke.

I'm sorry. I'm getting --
I'm getting a flow down.

♪♪

-I'll be damned.
-No, come on.

Yeah. No, go ahead.

[ Sniffs ]

It reminds me of, like,
Thanksgiving and...

Okay, there's something
seasonal about it,

but I wouldn't go
quite that far.

Between the baking soda
and the actual kitty litter,

the scent's pretty gone.

Hack number 2 comes from Angela
in coral gables, Florida.

Green tea's here.

It's gunpowder and oolong.

-Maicha.
-Yeah.

Maicha has toasty brown rice
in it. It's yummy.

Well, "maicha" do me a favor
and spray some deer urine

on this kitty litter?

Go, go! Go.

I don't want to breathe!

[ Sniffs ]

Oh, I'm -- what?

You're like a gazelle
at a watering hole.

Ugh. It's not
as good as the...

-Yeah, but it's not bad.
-It's still there.

It's not terrible,
but it's...

I think I'm just growing
accustomed to the smell,

which is what
cat owners do.

Our third hack comes from
Justin in peoria, Illinois.

I know he said he waits
till his cat is done, but...

Ugh.

Oh, I caught it
on the tail end of it.

You got a little bit?
A little bit? Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna shut
this off and cover it up.

I don't really think
this is a hack.

Yeah, this isn't
eliminating odors.

It's just
spreading it around.

-All right.
-Green tea.

It did a pretty good job
covering it up,

but I don't, like, particularly
like what I smell.

It smells like tea
that's gone bad.

So I think we know...

Yes, compared to the control,
there is no doubt here.

Congratulations to Olivia
from south haven, Michigan.

Her daughter, her cinnamon and
baking soda, they all get our...

Both:
Hack seal of approval!

Ohh. I am just sort of in
the mood for a snickerdoodle

and a pumpkin latte
right now.

Oh, I could go for a tall,
chilled glass of deer urine.

Brooke: Coming up...

Can Kevin use a carrot
to carry a tune?

I feel like that's deep enough,
but she complained.

Plus, Brooke's got company.

Find out how she'll
hack her house guest.

-Come on in!
-Wow!

♪♪

Nurse hackie.
Hello?! Nurse?!

Oh. Sorry.
Were you talkin' to me?

I'm sure that
you have some trick

to get these bloodstains
out of my lab coat.

Dr. Jack...

What exactly are you
asking me to do?

One of your tricks.
Say it, doctor.

Okay, okay!
One of your hacks, okay?

Too bad.
I'm on probation.

For god's sakes, your probation
is rescinded, okay?

So do whateverhack
you need to do.

Okay.

All we need to do

is squeeze this lime juice
onto the stain,

sprinkle it with salt,

and let the salt
absorb the stain.

Hey, it's working. Wow.

All right, let's go. We've got
some more rounds to finish.

The day is not
over yet, nurse.

You're darn right,
and I'm on probation

-until the end of the day.
-Probation?

What are you talking about?
I just rescinded your probation.

Thanks, but no thanks.
I'm making margaritas.

-Mmm!
-Margaritas?

♪♪

♪♪

Ooh. Hey there, friends.

Welcome to let's make a thing,

where one man's trash
is another man's treasure.

Let's see what's in the box.

Oh, look at that.
We got a carrot!

Now, supposedly, these things
are good for your eyes,

but did you know they can
be great for your ears?

With a few simple hacks, we can
turn this basic root vegetable

into a flute-like
musical instrument.

So let's make a thing.

First thing you're going to
want to do is cut about

2 inches in
from the base of the carrot.

Make sure you keep
this little nubbin.

We're gonna need it later.

Next, we need to drill
a hole for our air

a little past midway
through the carrot.

I feel like that's deep enough,
but she complained, so on we go.

Now we need to make
a mouthpiece.

We're gonna make two cuts.

Make one incision straight
down, about halfway,

and another at a slight slant
that meets the base of that cut.

Now, remember this guy?

You were saving this thing.
Mm-hmm.

We need to make a plug
that goes in here to close off

some of the airway
and create some pressure.

Let's try it.

Place it right on in.

Now we need to create some holes
for some notes,

or else this thing's
gonna be Katy Perry.

One note. Am I right?
Ha ha ha!

And the goal with these
is, of course,

to not go all the way through.

It's looking like
a real instrument.

So now I'll just gather
my anime body pillows

and go out and
have myself a concert!

[ Carrot playing
flute-type notes ]

Huh? That sounded like a thing!

I don't mean to toot my own
produce, but it works.

Any requests?

[ Carrot playing
flute-type notes ]

That I stop blowing
into a carrot?

[ Carrot playing
flute-type notes ]

[ Flute plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Applause ]

Brooke:
Hey, it's me, Brooke.

I've been hacking
all your lives for years.

-I look like jabba the hutt.
-Look at this. Jabba Jr.

Here we go.

Okay, that easily
holds a large.

But lately,
I'm realizing my own life

could use some hacking, too.

This is hack Brooke's life.

Exciting news in
the world of Brooke.

I upgraded my life,
and I'm a homeowner!

It happened!

The great thing is,
I also have a bonus space,

which I can rent out.

I've got my first
renter tonight,

and I want to provide
some amenities

to create a hotel-like
feel for their stay.

So I invited my good friend and
diy expert Joselyn Hughes over

to help me with some hacks.

So, you may have noticed this is
a kind of small room

with a bathroom
right there.

And that's a problem
for a lot of people.

Yeah.
So, this hack is a toilet spray...

-Uh-huh.
-...To mask odors.

Let's make number 2 fun.

I took a number 3
a year ago.

Okay.

So, we're gonna fill this bottle
75% full of water,

and we're gonna fill
the rest with alcohol.

-Leaving just a touch of room...
-Yes.

...for essential oils.

This is called dreamsicle,
which is kind of perfect.

We're gonna add a drop
of food coloring

just so that everybody
at home can see.

That's it. And you only need
a few squirts into the bowl.

Line the bowl
before you go.

You want to do
a little smell test?

Brooke: I do.

Brooke: Anything smells better
than poop, let's be honest.

Okay,
what else we got?

Have you used
a shower jelly before?

No.
It's like jell-o, but you don't eat it.

-You rub it on your body.
-Okay.

And it washes your body.

This will be perfect
for my renter!

We're gonna boil
a cup of water.

-Okay.
-Stir in one packet of gelatin.

Whisk that in.

We are going to dump 1 1/2 cups
of shower gel into this mixture.

This is just a much cuter
way to use shower gel.

'Cause when someone's, like,
picking up, like, a goopy,

half-used bottle,
that's just gross.

That's why the hotels
have the little ones.

Yeah.

All right, so,
that's looking good.

Oh, girl.
These are so cute.

-Pop these in.
-Mm-Kay.

They're gonna harden.
All right.

We're gonna wait
four hours.

Homemade shower gel.
These are cool.

And I hope this guy's
ready to rub

50 shower gels
all over his body.

Oh, man, I hope
I don't get a bad review.

Oh, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

There's one more thing
I'm so excited about.

Ohh!
It's kind of my idea. I think it's great.

Okay, so,
what do people want

right when they get
to their hotel

or, like, a rental
or whatever?

Hot shower,
good bed, and...

-Alcohol.
-...The Wi-Fi info.

♪♪

So I framed my network
and the password

so that they never
have to ask or bug me.

Oh, that's great!

Yeah, it was a picture
of my mother,

and I took it out

and I put a Wi-Fi password
in there instead.

I think it's really important
to greet your guests.

On their bed. Yes.
Yes, absolutely.

Just so they know
you're watching them, you know?

They're coming
into your world.

[ Knock on door ]

Hey, open the door!
It's your house!

Hi! I'm Brooke!

Come on in.
[ British accent ] Nice to meet you.

-Welcome!
-Wow!

We did a few
extra things for you.

So, these are just little
individual shower gels.

So you just take one
as you go -- several, whatever.

-You're kind of a big guy.
-They look edible, but...

Yes, they're not.
They're not.

This is
the Wi-Fi password.

I like the little frame.
It's cute.

It's a really nice space.
It's really homely, yeah.

Homely is not --
homey.

-I said "homely."
-Yes, you did.

Do you know
what that means?

Maybe it's different in england.
Inviting, comfortable.

Oh, here it means
ugly as [bleep].

Because here we're like,
"we want to show you our Fanny,"

but we just mean butt.

Yeah.
[ Laughter ]

Kevin: Coming up,
we honor the steadfast hacker

the humble lemon.

Brooke: And Kevin geeks out
and asks strangers

to hack his broken glasses.

Oh, no. That's a big,
old wad of fail.

When we return.

♪♪

Kevin: It's the hack lifetime
achievement awards!

Tonight, we recognize an item
that's demonstrated

continued excellence
in the pursuit of hacking --

the humble lemon.

The lemon first splashed
onto the screen

with its role rescuing campers
from itchy bug bites.

And who could forget
the lemon's consummate skill

as a hand sanitizer?

And soon, in its most
immersive role to date,

the lemon will disappear
into a laundry machine

to brighten whites.

[ Applause ]

And it will surely warm hearts
and living rooms

when its peels
are used as kindling.

Bright, vibrant, acidic.

This little tart has transcended

its earliest roles
as a simple fruit,

and that's why
we're honoring you

with this
lifetime achievement award.

Thank you for being
so hacking good.

Hey, friends.
Don't be alarmed.

It's me -- k.P.
Today, I'm cosplaying as a nerd.

Just kidding. Ihate
[ Frame snaps ]

But I love testing hacks,

which is why I've got
hidden cameras everywhere,

all over the streets
of Los Angeles,

to see if strangers can hack a
fix for these broken spectacles.

This is lend me a hack.

Hey, do you guys have anything
that can fix a pair of glasses?

-No?
-Sorry.

That's all right.
That's all right.

Hey, do you guys have anything
that can fix a pair of glasses?

Anything on you? No?

Sir, do you have anything
that could, uh,

put these back together?

Rubber band, a toothpick,
a something?

Band-aid
will work, I bet.

[ Fanfare plays ]

I'm gonna put the glasses
back into the side.

Guess I put the pad
in between the two?

I mean, they're not gonna flex
anymore, but that's okay.

Okay.

Oh, look at that.
What a remedy!

♪♪

But can I dramatically
remove the glass--

oh, no. Nope.

[ Buzzer ]

Miss,
you don't have anything

that can fix a pair
of glasses, do you?

Do you have anything
in your bag or...

-A hair tie? Yeah.
-Yeah.

[ Fanfare plays ]

All right.
I'll hack away with this.

Maybe wrap it around.

Oh, look at that!

Oh, yeah.

I was gonna say,
not the most successful thing.

[ Buzzer ]

Pardon, sir,
do you have anything

that could fix a pair
of glasses on you?

Uhh...ye...

Like an-- like, someone
gave me a band-aid.

Actually --
"long-lasting."

This might -- might work?
Maybe some gum?

[ Fanfare plays ]

Okay, I feel like
that's properly chewed.

-Oh, wow. That's...
-That's a lot.

-Oh, Jesus.
-Oh, man.

That's a big, old
wad of fail.

[ Buzzer ]

You don't happen to have
a fix for these, do you?

No? Thank you.

I have no idea why this guy
is walking around with trash

in the middle of the day
in Los Angeles.

Sir, do you have
anything that could --

sorry to bother.
Do you have anything

that could fix
a pair of glasses?

Uh, I just have trash
in my bag.

Can I be like a, I don't know,
a 34-year-old raccoon

-and go through your trash?
-Yeah, sure.

Let me undo this
twist tie real quick.

-Okay, no. That's garbage.
-Mm-hmm.

Maybe I can use this.

Do you ne-- do you mind
if I use the twist tie?

Yeah, go ahead.

[ Fanfare plays ]

I'm thinking if I jam it through
the hole in the glasses...

-There we go.
-There you go.

Look at this.
I'm cinching it up.

You see what's
happening here?! It works.

-This is magic!
-Yes.

Is your name criss angel?

[ Bell dings ]

Pretty plain to see
that one man's trash

was exactly what I needed
to save my glasses.

Thank you, Los Angeles,
for lending me a hack.

I must return now to my people.

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