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Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.
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00:00:04,216 --> 00:00:06,126
Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,
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00:00:06,166 --> 00:00:09,026
stop what you're doing
immediately!
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00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:11,430
[ Screams ]
5
00:00:11,466 --> 00:00:14,366
R. Hack"...
6
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,100
Looks like
quite the burn.
7
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:17,223
It really hurts,
Dr. Hack.
8
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,330
But some aloe Vera
should do the trick.
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00:00:19,366 --> 00:00:22,116
Not so fast, Dr. Hack.
10
00:00:22,150 --> 00:00:23,270
Who are you?
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00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:25,100
And what are you
doing in my er?
12
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:27,483
I think you meanmy
13
00:00:28,016 --> 00:00:31,096
I'm the new c.E.O.
Of hack memorial hospital.
14
00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:33,033
And my first
order of business
15
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:35,216
was slashing
the aloe Vera budget.
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00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,370
You fool!
17
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,130
Can't you see this man
is in pain?
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00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:41,066
Quick.
Give me that burrito.
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00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,280
What are you going to do?
Have him eat his feelings?
20
00:00:43,316 --> 00:00:46,146
[ Laughs ]
21
00:00:46,183 --> 00:00:49,083
By placing aluminum-foil
wrapper around the burn,
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00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:53,216
I can conduct heat away
from the body and into the air.
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00:00:54,283 --> 00:00:57,053
Looks like you are
as good as they say.
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00:00:57,083 --> 00:00:59,483
I guess I'll have
to keep my eye on you.
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00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:03,066
Only if I get
to keepmy
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00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,180
on you.
27
00:01:04,216 --> 00:01:06,026
[ Gasps ]
28
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,346
Is it just me, or did it
get hotter in here?
29
00:01:08,383 --> 00:01:10,433
It's you.
30
00:01:10,466 --> 00:01:13,126
Narrator: "Dr. Hack" --
if you can't stand the heat,
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00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:15,346
get out of the hospital.
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00:01:15,383 --> 00:01:16,453
-Tonight...
-Oh-ho!
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00:01:16,483 --> 00:01:18,403
...on "hack my life"...
Whoo.
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00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:20,133
Kevin:
B.v.p.'s got a sandwich hack
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00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,216
that'll make
peanut-butter lovers go nuts.
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00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,150
[Bleep] It's crazy!
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00:01:24,183 --> 00:01:26,473
Kevin: Plus, we show you how
to win father of the year
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00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,300
without doing any work.
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00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:31,153
Brooke: And a hack master
finally gives Kevin
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00:01:31,183 --> 00:01:32,423
the ass-kicking he deserves.
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00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:34,350
-Oh [bleep]
-Get ready to run...
42
00:01:34,383 --> 00:01:35,373
...jump...
-[ Grunts ]
43
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,150
...and shimmy.
-They're so tight.
44
00:01:37,183 --> 00:01:38,183
Oh [bleep]
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00:01:38,216 --> 00:01:41,126
Brooke: "Hack my life"
starts now.
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00:01:43,466 --> 00:01:45,196
Mm. Interesting.
47
00:01:45,233 --> 00:01:47,323
Where were you on
the night of September 7th?
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00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:48,480
I'm pretty sure
I was with you.
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00:01:49,016 --> 00:01:50,066
Lies!
50
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:51,470
All lies!
[ Sighs ]
51
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,480
We're all familiar with the
intimidating lie-detector test.
52
00:01:55,016 --> 00:01:58,196
But can this supposedly
infallible system be gamed?
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00:01:58,233 --> 00:02:00,383
I don't know,
Van poppelen, can they?
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00:02:00,416 --> 00:02:02,196
Get the light
out of my face.
55
00:02:02,233 --> 00:02:04,123
Sorry.
Right now.
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00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:06,400
This is gaming the system.
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00:02:06,433 --> 00:02:08,133
Lie-detector tests
have been used
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00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:11,066
to ferret out
criminal activity since 1921.
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00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:13,070
The machines work by
measuring your body vitals
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00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,300
that respond to stress.
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00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:18,223
Today, Kevin and I are going to
take a real lie-detector test.
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00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:21,020
We'll each be using a hack
while we're being questioned,
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00:02:21,050 --> 00:02:23,370
that should help mask
our true stress levels.
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00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,300
The goal, of course,
is to beat the polygraph machine
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00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:29,173
and get away with
the crime of the century.
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00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,080
Earlier today,
Brooke and I risked
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00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:34,346
life and limb to pull of
a death-defying heist.
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00:02:34,383 --> 00:02:37,283
We stole our boss's lunch
from the fridge.
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00:02:37,316 --> 00:02:39,146
Long story short,
it's in our best interest
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00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:40,403
to beat
this polygraph test.
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00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:44,083
Yeah, otherwise we're
in serious trouble.
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00:02:44,116 --> 00:02:46,446
To fool this machine, I'm gonna
try to make the responses
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00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,080
to the control questions,
my "truths,"
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00:02:49,116 --> 00:02:51,146
look exactly
the same as my lies.
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00:02:51,183 --> 00:02:52,373
And to do that,
I'm going to use
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00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,370
the age-old method known
as the Booty clench.
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00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,380
I'm going to be
tightening up my downstairs
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00:02:58,416 --> 00:03:00,066
every time I tell the truth.
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00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:03,000
Now, that should throw off
the machine's accuracy.
80
00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:05,223
All right, for my hack,
I'm going to take a thumbtack,
81
00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:07,470
place it point-side
up in my shoe.
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00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,070
Every time I tell the truth,
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00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,400
I'm going to step
down on the tack,
84
00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:12,373
which will elicit
a pain response,
85
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,430
which should have the same
reading as when I lie.
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00:03:15,466 --> 00:03:17,116
Ow.
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00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,320
Kevin: We'll be asked a series
of yes-or-no questions
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00:03:19,350 --> 00:03:22,270
by polygraph examiner
Dan ribacoff.
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00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:25,230
And the test
has now begun.
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00:03:25,266 --> 00:03:28,316
Are you currently
in the seated position?
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00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:29,270
Yes.
92
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:32,280
Are you in
the seated position?
93
00:03:32,316 --> 00:03:33,266
Yes.
94
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:37,000
Is your first name Kevin?
Yes.
95
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,453
Is your first name Brooke?
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00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:40,273
Yeah.
97
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:44,480
Do you know for sure
who took your boss's lunch?
98
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,326
No.
Do you know for sure
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00:03:46,366 --> 00:03:49,076
who took
your boss's lunch?
100
00:03:49,116 --> 00:03:50,046
No.
101
00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:52,183
Did you take
your boss's lunch?
102
00:03:52,216 --> 00:03:53,326
No.
103
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:56,426
Do you know the whereabouts
of your boss's lunch?
104
00:03:56,466 --> 00:03:58,096
No.
105
00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:00,053
Did you answer
all of the questions
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00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:01,403
on this test
truthfully?
107
00:04:01,433 --> 00:04:03,253
I mean, it's easy
to tell the truth
108
00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:05,333
when it wasn't
your idea.
109
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:07,216
Did you answer
all of the questions
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00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:09,170
on this test truthfully?
111
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,350
Yes.
112
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:13,453
And my [bleep]
is exhausted.
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00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:15,323
All right, kev.
I don't know about you,
114
00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:18,300
but I think I crushed it.
115
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:21,023
I can tell you're
lying right now.
116
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,150
Dan, what happened?
117
00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:27,073
Well, Kevin,
for your test...
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00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,430
There's deception
indicated.
119
00:04:28,466 --> 00:04:31,016
You failed
your polygraph test.
120
00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:32,420
Damn it.
121
00:04:32,450 --> 00:04:36,380
Brooke, for your test...
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00:04:36,416 --> 00:04:38,096
You failed.
123
00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:40,373
Oh-ho!
124
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:44,030
Your hacks were
extremely obvious.
125
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,146
And in a polygraph,
126
00:04:45,183 --> 00:04:48,033
we would call that
intentional distortion.
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00:04:48,066 --> 00:04:49,346
Damn it.
In this case,
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00:04:49,383 --> 00:04:52,123
what you're seeing is that
I'm purposefully misleading you.
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00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:53,020
Right.
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00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:54,230
Did it read as though
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00:04:54,266 --> 00:04:55,246
I was stepping on a tack?
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00:04:55,283 --> 00:04:57,303
Because that hurt.
It did.
133
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,233
Every time you caused
yourself pain,
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00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,116
you had a significant
reaction.
135
00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:03,400
Which I know is not
a natural reaction.
136
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,183
Okay.
So, I think it's clear
137
00:05:05,216 --> 00:05:08,016
from the results
of these two polygraph tests --
138
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:10,300
you're both guilty.
139
00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,033
Get my lawyer
on the phone.
140
00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:13,396
Yeah.
141
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,050
[ Crash! ]
142
00:05:37,216 --> 00:05:38,476
Peanut butter and jelly.
143
00:05:39,016 --> 00:05:41,426
The most classic couple
in culinary history.
144
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,276
But peanut butter
pairs well
145
00:05:43,316 --> 00:05:45,076
with a ton of other fillings.
146
00:05:45,116 --> 00:05:47,346
Today, I've got a hack
for making nine different
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00:05:47,383 --> 00:05:50,183
peanut-butter sandwiches
at the same time.
148
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,316
It's like a nine way
in your mouth.
149
00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:54,000
[ Whistles ]
150
00:05:54,033 --> 00:05:56,273
All right. So, let's start
with our first ingredient.
151
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,320
Which is classic
smooth peanut butter.
152
00:05:58,350 --> 00:06:01,030
And I'm going to make
a strip vertically
153
00:06:01,066 --> 00:06:04,016
on 1/3 portion of the bread.
154
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:06,050
Next, some hazelnut spread.
155
00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:07,173
And we'll do some crunchy
peanut butter...
156
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,080
-Ooh!
-...For a different texture.
157
00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:11,276
Are you smooth or crunchy?
158
00:06:11,316 --> 00:06:13,446
I really think it says
a lot about your personality.
159
00:06:13,483 --> 00:06:15,303
[ Laughter ]
This is really coming together.
160
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,383
I'll start in with
the strawberry jelly.
161
00:06:18,416 --> 00:06:19,466
Whoo!
162
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,100
Now we've got
marshmallow fluff.
163
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:24,003
All the moms watching out here,
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00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:26,353
do not send your child
to school with this sandwich.
165
00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:27,383
[ Laughter ]
You're just opening
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00:06:27,416 --> 00:06:28,416
some portal of hell.
167
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:32,120
Last but not least, honey.
-Ooh!
168
00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:34,350
By keeping one side of your
ingredients vertical
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00:06:34,383 --> 00:06:37,173
and the other horizontal, when
you push the bread together,
170
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,430
even though it's
six ingredients,
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00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:43,026
it's going to create nine
different flavor combinations.
172
00:06:43,066 --> 00:06:46,076
[ Applause ]
[Bleep] It's crazy!
173
00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:48,046
Ooh. This is so exciting.
174
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:52,183
And look, it's like a classy
little peanut-butter appetizer.
175
00:06:52,216 --> 00:06:54,126
Oh, my god.
Wedding idea.
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00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:56,196
Passed apps.
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00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:58,103
There you have it.
Ta-da!
178
00:06:58,133 --> 00:06:59,483
It's a peanut-butter party.
179
00:07:00,016 --> 00:07:01,476
[ Audience ahhs ]
180
00:07:04,116 --> 00:07:06,246
Oh.
That's my jam.
181
00:07:06,283 --> 00:07:07,183
And my honey.
182
00:07:07,216 --> 00:07:08,146
[ Laughter ]
183
00:07:08,183 --> 00:07:09,303
And my marshmallow spread.
184
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,173
And my...
You get it.
185
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,400
I'm going to keep eating.
186
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,183
-Ugh.
-Up next, we've got
187
00:07:15,216 --> 00:07:18,126
parenting tricks to bring up
baby, the hacktastics way.
188
00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:19,366
-Hello.
-And...
189
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,470
[Bleep] Damn!
190
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,130
...a martial-arts
master shows Kevin
191
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:26,446
how to turn anything
into a lethal weapon.
192
00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:29,003
When the the hack bites back.
193
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:35,080
Narrator: Next time, on
a heart-pounding "Dr. Hack"...
194
00:07:35,116 --> 00:07:36,266
[ Thud ]
195
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,100
[ Gasps ]
The elevator's stuck.
196
00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:39,353
Yeah, this place
has gone to hell
197
00:07:39,383 --> 00:07:41,223
since the new c.E.O.'S
budget cuts.
198
00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:42,380
Somebody help!
199
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:45,366
Don't worry. I'm sure we can
find some way to pass the time.
200
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,100
[ Romantic music plays ]
I'm claustrophobic!
201
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:50,223
And i'm
nine-months pregnant!
202
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,200
Oh, my god!
You're right!
203
00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:54,133
Let us out of here!
204
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:56,166
Quick. Put your thumb
in your mouth and blow.
205
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,120
Are you sure
you're a doctor?
206
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:00,030
There's no time, woman!
Just do it!
207
00:08:00,066 --> 00:08:01,276
Okay!
208
00:08:01,316 --> 00:08:03,416
As you blow, pressure builds
in your abdomen,
209
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:08,050
which stimulates the vagus nerve
and lowers your heart rate.
210
00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:10,453
Oh.
Thank you.
211
00:08:10,483 --> 00:08:13,253
I'm much calmer now,
Dr. Hack.
212
00:08:13,283 --> 00:08:16,303
But my heart
is still racing...
213
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,053
For you.
214
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,423
Mm.
215
00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:21,200
Oh, I felt a kick!
216
00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:23,333
[ Both laugh ]
217
00:08:23,366 --> 00:08:25,326
Narrator: Stay tuned to see
what else kicks,
218
00:08:25,366 --> 00:08:27,296
on the next "Dr. Hack."
219
00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:29,303
So, you're going for a stroll
through the park,
220
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,273
minding your own business,
then suddenly --
221
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:32,420
oh! It's a mugger!
222
00:08:32,450 --> 00:08:35,220
[ Laughs ] Oh, god!
Yes!
223
00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:36,250
Wham-oh!
224
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,473
Oh. That's Jeff Christian.
225
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,200
He's a martial-arts expert.
226
00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:43,173
He's going to teach us
how to hack our self-defense.
227
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:45,483
This is hack masters.
228
00:08:46,016 --> 00:08:48,376
So, Jeff, uh, I looked
at your business card earlier.
229
00:08:48,416 --> 00:08:50,416
It says,
"professional ass-whooper."
230
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,400
How do you get that title?
231
00:08:52,433 --> 00:08:55,083
Well, I've been doing
martial arts for a long time --
232
00:08:55,116 --> 00:08:56,376
since 1973.
233
00:08:56,416 --> 00:08:58,316
I've been teaching martial arts
in New York City
234
00:08:58,350 --> 00:08:59,480
since '94.
235
00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:01,426
That's a lot
of board breaking.
236
00:09:01,466 --> 00:09:04,066
It's a lot of throwing people
around, which is a lot of fun.
237
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:06,050
Okay. So, here's the thing,
you're looking at me,
238
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:07,253
and I'm not a big man.
239
00:09:07,283 --> 00:09:10,103
So how can I
possibly defend myself?
240
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,253
Well, fortunately,
size is not the issue.
241
00:09:12,283 --> 00:09:14,133
I do a style called
bujinkan budo taijutsu.
242
00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:15,246
It's a Japanese style.
243
00:09:15,283 --> 00:09:17,053
One of the most
effective weapons is the ones
244
00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:18,323
that your opponents
don't know that you have.
245
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,430
As you walk through your life,
you can look around you
246
00:09:20,466 --> 00:09:23,446
and see different objects
that are absolutely, 100%
247
00:09:23,483 --> 00:09:24,453
useable as weapons.
248
00:09:24,483 --> 00:09:26,053
What do you have
in your pockets?
249
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:29,023
I have, uh, I have my life
savings, which is nothing.
250
00:09:29,050 --> 00:09:30,230
And I've got a smartphone.
251
00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:33,166
Well, the cell phone is actually
one of the most popular hacks
252
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,020
that people unknowingly
carry about with them,
253
00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:36,220
because they have it
all the time.
254
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,370
So, if I'm here, I'm holding
this like I normally would.
255
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,330
And then you'd come up,
right, at this point.
256
00:09:40,366 --> 00:09:42,446
Different striking points --
collar bone.
257
00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:44,483
You can hit
right one the head.
258
00:09:45,016 --> 00:09:46,166
Right on
the back of the hand.
259
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,280
Very small bones
back there.
260
00:09:47,316 --> 00:09:48,996
Ooh!
Collar bone.
261
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,183
Yep! Okay -- oh [bleep] Jeff.
Head. Right?
262
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,176
Okay, can confirm --
[Bleep] Damn!
263
00:09:53,216 --> 00:09:54,996
[Bleep]
264
00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:56,133
Although those things
are very, very painful,
265
00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:57,226
that actually hurt!
266
00:09:57,266 --> 00:09:58,296
That's very light contact.
267
00:09:58,333 --> 00:09:59,433
So you can imagine
if you actually really
268
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,226
hit somebody with that.
269
00:10:05,466 --> 00:10:07,176
What if I don't
have my cell phone?
270
00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:08,366
Well, maybe
it's raining out.
271
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,020
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Got it.
272
00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:12,130
All right.
So, what are you gonna
273
00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:15,066
do a poppins and just fly away
and avoid the assailant?
274
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:17,080
In a perfect world, yes.
But otherwise,
275
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:20,216
it can be that you just use
this to block off people.
276
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,370
You can actually
hit people.
277
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,150
And the other thing
is this hooking action here.
278
00:10:23,183 --> 00:10:26,183
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
279
00:10:26,216 --> 00:10:27,316
Yeah.
280
00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:28,470
That's also another thing.
281
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,450
Or this hooking action.
[Bleep] Jeff!
282
00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:33,303
[Bleep]
283
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,223
I reach into my pocket.
I've got a fistful of coins.
284
00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:47,030
All right. Well, there's
a couple of different things
285
00:10:47,066 --> 00:10:48,246
that we can do
with this, right?
286
00:10:48,283 --> 00:10:50,123
But the easiest thing to do --
if you say,
287
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,370
"hey, give me your money,"
and I reach into my pocket
288
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,100
and I pull out the coins,
and I throw it at your face.
289
00:10:55,133 --> 00:10:56,353
Oh.
290
00:10:56,383 --> 00:10:59,003
So, a fistful of change
hitting you in the eyes
291
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,383
is enough to be able to give me
enough time, again, to get away.
292
00:11:01,416 --> 00:11:04,426
Book it down the street.
I'm saying to you -- ah!
293
00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:06,026
Yep!
294
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,176
Jeff, thank you so much
for sharing your techniques.
295
00:11:08,216 --> 00:11:09,296
My pleasure.
You're a true hack master.
296
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:10,273
My pleasure, man.
Appreciate it.
297
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:13,080
Good luck.
Oh. Uh, uh. Sir!
298
00:11:13,116 --> 00:11:14,376
Aaah!
299
00:11:14,416 --> 00:11:16,296
Oh, sh-- okay!
300
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:19,123
Okay! [Bleep]
Do something, Jeff!
301
00:11:20,316 --> 00:11:25,266
Kevin:
Sometimes even extraordinary couples face ordinary problems,
302
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:29,150
couples like Helen and Humphrey
and their brand-new baby.
303
00:11:29,183 --> 00:11:30,303
Raising a child isn't easy.
304
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,173
But these two
are determined to pass on
305
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,250
their hacking knowledge
to the next generation
306
00:11:34,283 --> 00:11:38,223
because they are
the hacktastics!
307
00:11:39,483 --> 00:11:41,253
After a trip to the store,
308
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:44,183
Helen returns home with her
little bundle of joy
309
00:11:44,216 --> 00:11:45,476
and dozens of grocery bags.
310
00:11:46,016 --> 00:11:48,066
-Oh.
-To juggle heavy load,
311
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:51,230
this power mom reaches
for a diaper!
312
00:11:51,266 --> 00:11:52,446
By wrapping it around her elbow,
313
00:11:52,483 --> 00:11:56,073
Helen hacks herself
a hands-free carrying cushion.
314
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,180
Nothing crappy about that, mom.
315
00:11:59,216 --> 00:12:00,316
Speaking of diapers,
316
00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:02,280
smells like a change
is in order.
317
00:12:02,316 --> 00:12:04,366
But somebody forgot
to buy baby wipes.
318
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,370
-Oh [bleep]
-Don't worry, mom.
319
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,070
Dad's on it.
320
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:10,320
He slices a roll of paper towels
in two
321
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:12,480
and places half
inside a plastic tub.
322
00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:15,366
Then he pours in a soapy
solution of baby shampoo
323
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,000
and water, removes
the cardboard core,
324
00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:21,183
and presto change-o --
hacked baby wipes!
325
00:12:21,216 --> 00:12:24,376
Too bad there's no hacking
your way out of changing duty.
326
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:28,216
An empty diaper means
an empty belly.
327
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:31,280
And judging by the tears,
little Henry is h-angry.
328
00:12:31,316 --> 00:12:34,266
But feeding baby and putting
all those groceries away
329
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,400
is going to call
for a serious balancing act.
330
00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:40,023
That's why Humphrey
reaches for some ribbon!
331
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,250
By tying one end of the ribbon
around Henry's bottle
332
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:45,033
and the other the handle
of his baby carrier,
333
00:12:45,066 --> 00:12:46,396
Humphrey hacks it
so that his boy
334
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,203
can hit the bottle himself.
335
00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:51,183
Bottoms up.
336
00:12:51,216 --> 00:12:53,126
After snack time
comes nap time.
337
00:12:53,166 --> 00:12:55,216
But these tired parents
will need some help
338
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:57,050
getting little Henry to sleep.
339
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,353
Fortunately Humphrey's
got just the tools --
340
00:12:59,383 --> 00:13:01,273
ribbon and a power drill.
341
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:04,100
He double-wraps the ribbon
around an Allen wrench
342
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:06,433
to avoid tangling,
attaches it to the rocker,
343
00:13:06,466 --> 00:13:10,146
and tapes the drill
into the on position.
344
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:13,033
Now little Henry can keep
rockin' all night long.
345
00:13:13,066 --> 00:13:15,216
With parental supervision,
of course.
346
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,080
Way to go, mom and dad!
347
00:13:17,116 --> 00:13:20,146
You two now have the evening
to do whatever you like.
348
00:13:20,183 --> 00:13:22,033
[ Snores ]
349
00:13:22,066 --> 00:13:23,246
Including that!
350
00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:25,223
Sleep well, hacktastics!
351
00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:29,170
Close your laptop and throw
your smartphone down a well.
352
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,030
Brooke:
We're bringing the Internet's craziest hackers to your TV.
353
00:13:34,283 --> 00:13:37,273
It's worldwide hacks.
354
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:40,200
The Internet is full of gifs,
memes, and porn.
355
00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:43,073
But if you dig deep enough,
you can find the good stuff.
356
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:44,470
We're talking
about hacks, of course.
357
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,050
Like this one,
which promises to revolutionize
358
00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:49,373
the way you pick up poop.
359
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,070
The poovak is
a pooper-scooper vacuum
360
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,280
that makes picking up
your dog's waste easier,
361
00:13:54,316 --> 00:13:56,416
cleaner, and more dignified.
362
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:59,350
The poovak's patent-pending
design takes advantage
363
00:13:59,383 --> 00:14:01,323
of the suction power
of a leaf blower,
364
00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:03,370
to vacuum up pet waste.
365
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,370
The engineering brains
behind the poovak
366
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,330
is Jerry robichaux
from tuscan, Arizona.
367
00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:10,476
All right, Jerry, now, as much
as we love our pets...
368
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,166
Who's mama's favorite girl?
369
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,230
Her name is winnie.
Hello, winnie.
370
00:14:14,266 --> 00:14:17,396
...scooping poop can be
a huge chore.
371
00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:20,473
And my dad just uses, like,
an old-fashioned shovel
372
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,030
and goes around
the backyard,
373
00:14:22,066 --> 00:14:24,016
and he throws it
in the neighbors' yard.
374
00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:26,000
Okay. Well, he's
a terrible human being.
375
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,433
But, Jerry, how did you
hack this product together?
376
00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:30,146
About four years ago,
377
00:14:30,183 --> 00:14:32,233
I was having trouble,
uh, maintaining the yard
378
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:34,366
'cause we had just
adopted a second dog.
379
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,150
I created this to help us, uh,
take care of the yard.
380
00:14:38,183 --> 00:14:40,333
I started with a shop-vac,
381
00:14:40,366 --> 00:14:42,276
with a stick attached to a hose,
382
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:45,046
and I tried to collect --
you know, it was on the ground,
383
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,403
and it kept getting
stuck in the hose.
384
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:49,253
And then I ended up throwing
it away after I tried this.
385
00:14:49,283 --> 00:14:51,103
-[ Laughs ]
-I'm glad. I'm glad you did.
386
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:54,153
And I said, "well, I need
a nozzle as short as can be."
387
00:14:54,183 --> 00:14:55,353
You just put
a leaf blower on top.
388
00:14:55,383 --> 00:14:57,223
You've got your handle built-in.
389
00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:59,400
And all you have to do is
just momentarily pitch the unit
390
00:14:59,433 --> 00:15:02,103
to pick up whatever's there.
391
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:03,203
I have a question.
392
00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:05,153
Is there a switch
that reverses the air flow
393
00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:08,183
if you'd like to
shoot [bleep] at people.
394
00:15:08,216 --> 00:15:10,046
I'm thinking about
the holidays coming up
395
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,183
and what to get my dad.
396
00:15:11,216 --> 00:15:13,316
We want to avoid that.
[ Laughs ]
397
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,100
Jerry, I want to put
this thing to the test.
398
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,473
I've got a veritable
pupu platter here.
399
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,100
So, we've got chocolate-covered
almonds, doughnut holes,
400
00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:22,003
and a brownie.
401
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,153
Delicious.
402
00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:24,303
Let's vacuum some [bleep]
403
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:28,103
[ Vacuum whirrs ]
Feel the power of this.
404
00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:31,153
Scoop it along in.
Get in there.
405
00:15:31,183 --> 00:15:32,353
Can I make a suggestion?
406
00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:33,423
Oh, yes.
By all means.
407
00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:35,430
I think your nozzle's
upside down.
408
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:37,466
-Oh.
-Oh.
409
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:41,200
It's working, Jerry!
410
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,403
I'm going to fire
this thing up
411
00:15:42,433 --> 00:15:47,273
to the high setting and tackle
this little pile of hate.
412
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:50,400
Beautiful.
413
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:52,273
Oh, little Debbie!
414
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,220
Oh-ho!
415
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:56,180
Took it like a champ.
416
00:15:58,433 --> 00:16:00,003
Three for three!
417
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:01,473
Brownie points
for your invention.
418
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,250
Jerry, you are
a hacking genius.
419
00:16:04,283 --> 00:16:06,003
Thank you so much.
420
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:07,333
I'm going to clean up
the dessert trays now, so...
421
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:10,166
Oh, okay.
I'll see you.
422
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,380
-Up next...
-Oh, god.
423
00:16:11,416 --> 00:16:14,996
...hacks to give you a leg up
when slipping into skinny jeans.
424
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:17,303
This might be the closest
ever hack vs. Hack.
425
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:19,153
-Boink.
-And find out which of these
426
00:16:19,183 --> 00:16:21,453
wing-eating methods yields
the meatiest results.
427
00:16:21,483 --> 00:16:23,483
Oh, it's raining
bleu-cheese dressing.
428
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,116
Better stay dry.
429
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,420
Brooke: When "hack my life"
returns.
430
00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:34,353
Narrator: On the dramatic
conclusion of "Dr. Hack"...
431
00:16:34,383 --> 00:16:37,103
Hack memorial hospital
is bleeding money!
432
00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:38,253
I'm shutting it down!
433
00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:39,223
You can't do that!
434
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:41,200
My father, Dr. Hack sr.,
435
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,483
built this hospital
with his own two hands!
436
00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:45,476
And a series of ingenious
workarounds.
437
00:16:46,016 --> 00:16:48,046
She's just grumpy 'cause her
heartburn is kicking in.
438
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:51,203
[ Groans ]
Too many burritos.
439
00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:54,153
There's something I've wanted
to say to you for a long time.
440
00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:57,400
Would you like some gum?
441
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,153
Is it my breath?
442
00:16:59,183 --> 00:17:00,373
No. Well...
443
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,430
Not just that.
444
00:17:01,466 --> 00:17:04,016
Chewing gum sends saliva,
which is alkaline,
445
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,470
back down your esophagus,
446
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,070
neutralizing acid reflux.
447
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,370
Heartburn receding.
448
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,130
Hmm.
449
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:15,276
Plus you now have
kissably minty breath.
450
00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:18,096
You know, this hospital
wouldn't be in financial trouble
451
00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:21,073
if you didn't keep getting sued
for sexual harassment, Dr. Hack.
452
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:23,430
Well, call our lawyer
because we're about to have
453
00:17:23,466 --> 00:17:25,996
another law suit
on our hands!
454
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,470
[ Tearing ]
455
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,120
[ Moans ]
456
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,000
Narrator: "Dr. Hack" --
457
00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:36,333
curing and causing
problems of the heart.
458
00:17:36,366 --> 00:17:38,116
Welcome, everyone,
to the first ever
459
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:40,120
"hack my life"
skinny-jeans showdown.
460
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:41,280
[ Cheering ]
461
00:17:41,316 --> 00:17:43,476
Today, we're joined
by three professional models,
462
00:17:44,016 --> 00:17:46,266
who are no strangers
to struggle of trying
463
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,380
to put on a pair of skinny,
skinny jeans.
464
00:17:48,416 --> 00:17:50,016
-It's real.
-Oh, it's real.
465
00:17:50,050 --> 00:17:52,130
Well, ladies, I have
some great news for you.
466
00:17:52,166 --> 00:17:53,246
Because today we have some hacks
467
00:17:53,283 --> 00:17:56,233
that might end these
skinny-Jean woes forever.
468
00:17:56,266 --> 00:17:59,066
It's hack vs. Hack.
469
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:00,180
So, as professional models,
470
00:18:00,216 --> 00:18:02,226
does changing quickly
ever come into play?
471
00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:04,026
Yeah, definitely.
A lot of times.
472
00:18:04,066 --> 00:18:05,126
Ladies, I think
it's about time.
473
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:06,426
Are you ready
to see your hacks?
474
00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:07,416
-Yes.
-Ready.
475
00:18:07,450 --> 00:18:08,400
Okay. Here we go.
476
00:18:08,433 --> 00:18:10,003
Brooke: First up is Alicia,
477
00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:12,423
who will be using a pair
of thigh-high nylons.
478
00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:14,470
The silky fabric should
reduce friction.
479
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,230
And you should be able to glide
your pants on over them.
480
00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:20,016
Kevin: Next is Audrey, who will
be using baby powder.
481
00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:22,000
You want to apply
a thin layer of baby powder
482
00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:23,053
all over your legs.
483
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:25,003
That should absorb
any excess moisture,
484
00:18:25,033 --> 00:18:26,453
get those jeans right on.
485
00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:28,323
Brooke: And to establish
a control time,
486
00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:32,250
we'll have onyi put her jeans on
without the help of a hack.
487
00:18:32,283 --> 00:18:34,153
She'll be using
the traditional method
488
00:18:34,183 --> 00:18:36,423
we like to call
the skinny-Jean shuffle.
489
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:38,130
Jump into your jeans.
490
00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:42,116
You do a little shimmy,
you suck, and button.
491
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:45,450
I think I'm a pro
at the skinny-Jean shuffle.
492
00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:46,483
-Oh?
-Yes.
493
00:18:47,016 --> 00:18:48,276
-Okay, okay.
-Okay.
494
00:18:48,316 --> 00:18:51,026
Ladies, are you ready to face
your quick-change challenge?
495
00:18:51,066 --> 00:18:52,216
-Yes.
-Let's do this.
496
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:54,080
Yes.
497
00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:57,380
-Well, are you ready to begin?
-[ Laughs ] Yes.
498
00:18:57,416 --> 00:19:00,376
In three, two, one.
499
00:19:00,416 --> 00:19:02,076
Race!
500
00:19:02,116 --> 00:19:05,066
-About two seconds.
-Jeans off the hanger.
501
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,430
Okay. Now, this part
is crucial.
502
00:19:06,466 --> 00:19:07,416
It's the jump...
503
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,070
-Jump.
-Jump.
504
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,330
-Oh, is that the shimmy there?
-Those are so tight.
505
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:14,146
This is what
we do to ourselves.
506
00:19:14,183 --> 00:19:16,073
-You can get it all in there.
-One more!
507
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,300
-Oh.
-Okay, it's on.
508
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:19,133
Oh! All right.
All right.
509
00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:20,446
Ooh, these are
real skinny jeans.
510
00:19:20,483 --> 00:19:22,103
No one said
this was easy.
511
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:23,483
Looks like
we're buttoned up!
512
00:19:24,016 --> 00:19:25,166
-Okay.
-And that's time.
513
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,350
That is 59 seconds.
514
00:19:26,383 --> 00:19:28,253
-Oh!
-Just shy of a minute.
515
00:19:28,283 --> 00:19:30,333
That looked pretty epic.
You're out of breath.
516
00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:33,266
I am so out of breath.
[ Laughs ]
517
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:35,270
But you clocked
in at 59 seconds.
518
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,050
Let's see if anybody
can beat that.
519
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:39,333
Alicia's first up
with the thigh-high hack.
520
00:19:39,366 --> 00:19:41,016
-Are you ready?
-I'm ready.
521
00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:42,200
Hack!
522
00:19:42,233 --> 00:19:43,333
-Okay. All right.
-Right now, getting those
523
00:19:43,366 --> 00:19:45,266
thigh-highs on.
524
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,070
So, the point of this
is they're a very layer,
525
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,330
which will make
your legs smooth.
526
00:19:49,366 --> 00:19:51,376
This is already slowing
things down right here.
527
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:53,026
Yeah.
528
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,126
Both thigh highs are on.
529
00:19:54,166 --> 00:19:56,176
I believe in you.
Your magic is real.
530
00:19:56,216 --> 00:19:57,376
Okay, I need to see.
You're 40 seconds in.
531
00:19:57,416 --> 00:19:59,076
She likes that.
532
00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:02,126
-Oh, wait!
-Those are really skinny jeans.
533
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:03,346
-They're so skinny.
-Very skinny.
534
00:20:03,383 --> 00:20:05,123
Do you feel kind of weird
535
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:06,430
that we're just watching
girls get undressed
536
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,126
and then
dress themselves?
537
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,426
Can't believe I haven't had
to enter my credit card.
538
00:20:10,466 --> 00:20:13,326
I can see the outline
of the thigh high, like,
539
00:20:13,366 --> 00:20:15,996
underneath the jeans.
540
00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,233
All right.
That is it, Alicia.
541
00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:19,316
Time is up.
Hack is done.
542
00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:21,070
Unfortunately
it's not fast enough
543
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,380
to beat onyi's control time
of 59 seconds.
544
00:20:23,416 --> 00:20:26,276
Next up, Audrey
and the baby-powder hack.
545
00:20:26,316 --> 00:20:28,196
59 seconds.
That is the time to beat.
546
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:32,303
Here we go.
Three, two, one. Hack!
547
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:35,303
Okay, we've got a lot
of baby powder on the floor.
548
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:36,483
We've got
a bit on the legs.
549
00:20:37,016 --> 00:20:38,146
Okay. Whoa.
We're applying more.
550
00:20:38,183 --> 00:20:39,373
We're making so there's
a nice thick layer.
551
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,280
This is too, uh, messy.
Oh, but they're on!
552
00:20:42,316 --> 00:20:44,366
Oh, but look at how
quickly those go on!
553
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,150
They are on!
That was lightening fast.
554
00:20:46,183 --> 00:20:47,453
But now -- okay,
that's 26 seconds in.
555
00:20:47,483 --> 00:20:50,053
Are we calling it?
We're calling it.
556
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,233
Wow.
Whoa.
557
00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:53,396
Wow.
Whoa.
558
00:20:53,433 --> 00:20:56,403
Baby powder
takes it home!
559
00:20:56,433 --> 00:21:01,283
For our winner,
we have this.
560
00:21:01,316 --> 00:21:02,366
-Oh.
-I'm a Jean --
561
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,450
-oh!
-You're a Jean-ius!
562
00:21:04,483 --> 00:21:07,323
So, the next time you need to
squeeze into those skinny jeans,
563
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,080
treat your thighs
like a crime scene.
564
00:21:09,116 --> 00:21:11,096
Give them a light,
powdery dusting,
565
00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:13,103
and you're good to go!
566
00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:14,333
Brooke: Open wide, hackers.
567
00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:15,446
It's time to feed.
568
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:18,053
Kevin: Up next, we sink
our fangs into your hacks
569
00:21:18,083 --> 00:21:20,023
for getting meat off the bone.
570
00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:21,130
Oh, my god!
571
00:21:21,166 --> 00:21:23,166
I fear for your safety
right now.
572
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,270
When the hack bites back.
573
00:21:29,383 --> 00:21:32,233
Brooke, what are you doing?
That is not how you eat wings.
574
00:21:32,266 --> 00:21:34,226
I'm trying my best,
but it's really hard
575
00:21:34,266 --> 00:21:37,226
to get the meat off these tiny,
brittle little chicken bones.
576
00:21:37,266 --> 00:21:39,166
Well, you're in luck,
because today's all about
577
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,350
maximizing your meat.
578
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:42,403
This is hack mail.
579
00:21:42,433 --> 00:21:44,073
Today we're testing
three hacks
580
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:47,120
from some very hungry
and very wing-savvy viewers.
581
00:21:47,150 --> 00:21:49,270
Whichever hack gets the most
meat off the wing bone
582
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:51,000
will be
awarded our coveted...
583
00:21:51,033 --> 00:21:53,203
Together:
Hack seal of approval.
584
00:21:53,233 --> 00:21:56,053
Our first hack --
bill in El Paso, Texas.
585
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:57,423
He writes...
586
00:22:04,483 --> 00:22:07,233
"Meat umbrella" is definitely
in the urban dictionary.
587
00:22:07,266 --> 00:22:08,246
[ Sighs ]
Just look it up.
588
00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,353
Okay. So, you push
from one end...
589
00:22:10,383 --> 00:22:13,053
Yeah. I started with
the fat end of the bottom.
590
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:15,003
If you put, like,
the pointier end down below,
591
00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:16,323
you don't have as much
base to work with.
592
00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:18,220
Right.
Down the bone we go.
593
00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:20,070
You know, this is why
I grow my fingernails out.
594
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:22,280
Just...
Oh, beautiful.
595
00:22:22,316 --> 00:22:24,126
Oh, it really
just slides off.
596
00:22:24,166 --> 00:22:26,096
Look at that beautiful
meat umbrella.
597
00:22:26,133 --> 00:22:28,053
Look at it!
598
00:22:28,083 --> 00:22:30,073
Damn.
That was actually efficient.
599
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,230
Boink.
600
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:32,366
Going to dip
my chicken flaps.
601
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,450
Dip. Dip.
Oh, so good.
602
00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:37,273
Just like mistletoe.
Mmm.
603
00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:41,030
Hack number two comes
from Lance in Kansas, Missouri.
604
00:22:50,183 --> 00:22:52,303
Hashtag -- #crushedit.
605
00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:53,423
[ Muffled ]
It's hard to talk.
606
00:22:53,450 --> 00:22:56,400
Where's my meat?
607
00:22:56,433 --> 00:22:59,183
Okay. So, the idea
of the vampire teeth
608
00:22:59,216 --> 00:23:01,346
is that
the plastic is so sharp
609
00:23:01,383 --> 00:23:03,373
that if you chomp
down on the meat,
610
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,470
it should help separate it
from the bone nice and easy.
611
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,350
All right,
what Kevin's trying to say is...
612
00:23:07,383 --> 00:23:08,333
Trying?
...When you have
613
00:23:08,366 --> 00:23:10,176
sharp canines,
614
00:23:10,216 --> 00:23:12,326
they are designed
to tear meat.
615
00:23:12,366 --> 00:23:14,466
Yeah.
It's time to feed.
616
00:23:18,033 --> 00:23:20,053
God.
617
00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:22,353
You look like nosferatu.
618
00:23:22,383 --> 00:23:24,003
It's far enough
in your mouth.
619
00:23:24,033 --> 00:23:25,483
I'd take bite.
620
00:23:26,016 --> 00:23:27,266
Uh.
621
00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:31,050
This is a horror movie
in and of itself.
622
00:23:37,150 --> 00:23:38,300
Is it working?
623
00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:39,453
No. It's not working.
624
00:23:39,483 --> 00:23:42,003
I fear for your safety
right now.
625
00:23:42,033 --> 00:23:42,473
Didn't work.
626
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,380
That is
a bull[Bleep] hack.
627
00:23:44,416 --> 00:23:46,266
Oh, my god.
628
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:49,220
Lance, I don't think
you really did this.
629
00:23:49,250 --> 00:23:52,100
I don't think you had vampire
teeth in for a Halloween party.
630
00:23:52,133 --> 00:23:53,203
I think you made that up.
631
00:23:53,233 --> 00:23:54,403
I think you did this
to hurt us.
632
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,483
You took advantage
of our kindness, Lance!
633
00:23:58,016 --> 00:23:59,246
Now, bill's method...
Okay.
634
00:23:59,283 --> 00:24:01,333
...the veritable
meat umbrella.
635
00:24:01,366 --> 00:24:03,226
I felt like that was
the quickest method
636
00:24:03,266 --> 00:24:05,066
of getting the meat
off the bone.
637
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:06,300
Another bonus
of the meat umbrella
638
00:24:06,333 --> 00:24:09,033
is a wonderful
meat-umbrella handle.
639
00:24:09,066 --> 00:24:10,426
Yeah. A little
grip-and-dip.
640
00:24:10,466 --> 00:24:12,996
So, I think there's
a clear winner, Brooke.
641
00:24:13,033 --> 00:24:15,073
We've got to give it to bill
and his meat umbrella.
642
00:24:15,100 --> 00:24:16,230
You win our...
643
00:24:16,266 --> 00:24:19,076
Together:
Hack seal of approval!
644
00:24:19,116 --> 00:24:21,176
If you have an idea
for something unappetizing
645
00:24:21,216 --> 00:24:22,446
Kevin and I can
put in our mouths,
646
00:24:22,483 --> 00:24:25,223
just go to trutv.Com/hacks.
647
00:24:25,250 --> 00:24:27,330
Or just come find me
at any i-5 rest stop
648
00:24:27,366 --> 00:24:29,066
north of the grapevine.
649
00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:30,430
Ask for me by name.
650
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:35,030
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