All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e08 Hack to the Future.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately!

On a sizzling new
"hacks del corazón"...

I've been secretly
seeing your twin sister.

[ Gasps ]

Who do you love more?!

Honestly, you're both
very similar.

[ Grunts ]

You broke my heart!

And my nail!

Here.

File it on the strike pad
of this matchbook.

This way, your ragged nail
won't snag on anything.

You have mended
my broken nail,

but still,
my heart is broken!

We will fix your broken heart
by sparking the match of love.

Will señor solución choose
his mistress or her twin?

Find out on the next
"hacks del corazón."

[ Whistle blows ]
Brooke: Tonight...

So, you want
to sleep with me? Nope?

Brooke: We find out
if it's sink or swim

for these floatation hacks.

Who wants to save me?!

Kevin:
Plus, tricks to hail a cab faster than the competition.

Oh, this guy likes
the sight of your cash!

Brooke: Hacks to get you
through pregnancy like a pro.

Kevin: And a special visit
from science Bob

that will help you
achieve liftoff.

Science!

Brooke:
Lights, camera, hack-ion.

Kevin:
This is "hack my life."

The human body
is made up of 60% water,

which makes it pretty buoyant.

But that's not
particularly comforting

if you don't know how to swim.

Well, don't worry.

Today, we're testing out hacks
that could keep you afloat

if you don't have
a life jacket.

Hack vs. Hack.

Right now, I'm joined
by Eileen, James, and Mark.

So, all three of you are,
in fact, lifeguards, yes?

Together: Yeah.
Underneath this towel,

I've got three items

that could help
keep you afloat in case

you don't have
a life jacket handy.

Any idea what they are?

No idea.

♪ Here they are! ♪

Three potential lifesavers,
my friends.

First up,
we got a soccer ball.

Our next hack is
a pair of pants.

Finally, some good
old-fashioned bubble wrap.

So is there a hack that
you're gravitating towards?

Yeah, I think
I'm gonna take the ball.

Because it reminds me

kind of like a buoy
you'd see on the ocean.

That's a good idea,
but, I mean,

I've never gone to the beach
with a roll of bubble wrap.

But I think there's gonna
be enough air in it

that if you wrap yourself up,
maybe you can stay afloat.

That means, Mark,
you've got the pants.

Congrats? I'm sorry?
How do you feel about that?

-I feel good about it.
-Yeah? Yeah.

I'm actually trained
in survival swimming.

I know exactly what to do
with those babies.

-Really?
-Yeah.

All right, friends,
the rules are very simple.

Whoever's hack keeps them
afloat the longest

while they exert
the least amount of energy

will be declared the winner.

One final question --
who's ready to get wet?

On the sound of my whistle,
let's get to it.

[ Whistle blows ]

Oh!
Okay, they're in.

-Eileen, how's it going?
-Good.

Yeah? I haven't seen seen
those legs kicking, do I?

We're just floating
with a soccer ball?

-Just floating.
-Oh, James.

I'm struggling over here.

I don't know
if this is gonna work.

Is that bubble wrap
holding you up entirely, James?

'Cause I feel like I'm seeing a
lot of leg movement down there.

-What was that?
-I don't know.

I don't think it's going to
be able to hold me up.

Mark has got
the pants off.

Now let's see if he can tie them
and fill them with air.

Mark, what's going on, buddy?

You got the pants
off right away.

Then you're fumbling
with a button there?

Okay.
Get them nice and cinched.

Make sure everything's tight
to that air does not escape.

Oh! Wow!
Did you guys see that?!

James, you holding strong?

These are falling apart.

I'm going down slowly.

But a smile on his face.

[ Laughing ] Mark?
Mark, you still with us, buddy?

Super-easy.
It's like a pillow.

But don't you have to refill it
with air every now and then?

Isn't some escaping?

When that happens, all you have
to do is blow it up.

Wow.

Eileen, you seem to be
going very strong.

Yeah, I mean, as long as I hug
this ball really tight,

I can float here
as long as I need to.

You've got energy
for days.

All right, before we lose James,
should we call it?

Hack vs. Hack is over.

[ Whistle blows ]
Bring it in.

James, let's start with you.

I would say altogether,
just keep away

from the bubble wrap
in the pool, yeah.

-That's fair.
-Yeah.

Mark, how did
those pants hold up?

They held up pretty well.
They're still pants.

And you dry them,
they're good as new.

It did require a bit of effort,
though, to get on.

It does, yeah.

Eileen, what about
the soccer ball.

The soccer ball
works so well.

So in a pinch, a soccer ball
or any sort of ball

could potentially
save your life.

I would say so.

I have to award a winner,
and pants are an amazing hack.

However, when every
second counts,

it just feels like
too many steps.

So for the sake of simplicity,

I'm giving it to Eileen
and her soccer ball.

-Yeah!
-The soccer ball wins!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Who wants to save me?!

-Soccer ball.
-Oh, god, that hurt!

That hit my face!

Ugh! [ Groans ]

Kevin:
Sometimes even extraordinary couples face ordinary problems.

Couples like Helen and humphry,

two hack heroes who are adding
a little hacker

to the family
any minute now.

Getting through the final weeks
of pregnancy won't be easy,

but these two are up
to the challenge

because they are
the hacktastics!

Helen's baby bump
is bigger than ever,

and so is the strain
it's putting on her spine.

-I can't sleep.
-Hmm.

Fortunately,
humphry's got a hack

for his wife's aching back.

A travel pillow.

Placing the pillow
under Helen's tummy takes

some of the weight off her spine

and lets her sleep
comfortably on her side.

Sorry, humphry, this hack
just isn't big enough

for the three of you.

[ Cat yowls ]

[ Grunts ]

Kevin: As Helen's belly grows,
her wardrobe options shrink.

But she won't waste money
on maternity wear,

not when she can harness
the hacking power of hair ties!

Helen loops the hair tie through
the buttonhole of her jeans,

then hooks it into the button
to extend the life

of her dungarees
by another trimester!

Nice jeans, mom!

Though Helen is pregnant,

humphry knows she likes
to start her morning

with a couple of cold ones.

[ Wolf-whistle ]

The hormonal imbalances
of pregnancy

can be a real pain
in the ta-tas.

But with support
from an ice-cold brassiere,

Helen will stay cool,
calm, and collected.

Pregnancy can be a joy,
a natural wonder.

But Helen is a week
overdue and ready to pop.

To speed things along,

she and humphry ditch
the couch...

For exercise balls.

Bouncing gently up
and down can ease the baby

into the birthing position
and induce labor.

[ Rumbling ]

Holy hacktastics!
It worked!

The little hacker
is on the way!

Nice work, mom and dad.

Now the hard part
is almost over.

Well, except for actually
raising the kid.

[ Door closes ]

But you'll be fine,
because you are the hacktastics!

Coming up, science Bob makes

all your flying car
fantasies come true.

Science!

Brooke: And we'll show you

how to hail a cab
faster than ever before.

Kevin: That was like
three seconds.

Kevin:
When the hack returns.

Later this season
on "hacks del corazón"...

I am no longer
seeing your twin sister.

Then you are all mine,
señor solución!

But I'm not
señor solución.

I am his twin brother.

Eduardo.

But how?!

Make love to me!

[ Crack ]
Ohh!

My love, what is wrong?

I've hyperextended
my elbow.

-It is mucho extended.
-Oh!

You must be
in so much pain!

Do not worry,
my little bird.

By cutting off the bottom
of this beer koozie

and slipping
it onto my arm,

I have made
a compression sleeve

that will reduce swelling.

You are even smarter
than your twin.

Will señor solución
find out his twin

is having an affair
with his mistress all the while

he's having an affair
with his mistress's twin?

Find out
on "hacks del corazón."

My fellow hackmericans,
despite promises

from "the jetsons"
and "back to the future,"

we still do not
have flying cars.

Well, that changes today --

thanks to my friend
and hack master science Bob.

This is hack masters --
hovercraft edition.

Science Bob,
these are my friends.

Hi, friends.

They don't know this,
but in their garage,

they actually might have
a fully functional hovercraft

-waiting there.
-Waiting to be built.

So, how are
we powering this thing?

With a little something
called air.

In this case,
a leaf blower.

[ Humming, humming stops ]

This is all the air
we need.

I've taken the nozzle off,

and now we're ready
to start our build.

And we gotta start
with the base.

For that, we are gonna need
a 3/4-inch piece of plywood

cut into
a ginormous circle.

Ah, we happen
to have just that.

In this case,
a four-foot circle.

We need to put a hole in it,
so I've matched a hole drill

with the size
of the leaf blower.

-Oh! Okay.
-And so now,

our leaf blower will fit
right in there nice and snug.

Now it's time to add
a little cushion.

We can't just blow it
out of one place.

We have to spread
the air out.

And that is where
that old tarp

in the corner of your garage
comes in handy.

-All right.
-Oh, yeah, that looks nice.

So now the air is gonna blow
and fill this up like a pillow.

What we want to do
is control it exiting,

so we create a cushion of air
going around to all the sides.

So first we're gonna
put down a support right

in the middle of this.

You can use a coffee can lid,
a couple of washers --

just something to give it
a little bit of support.

That will just make sure it
doesn't balloon out too much.

Then we're gonna make five
or six holes around the center.

So the good news is,
we're pretty darn close.

I don't see how we
are almost finished.

It's a piece of wood
and a tarp.

Well, let's just try
it here on the table.

-Okay, please, please.
-Ready, here we go.

[ Humming ]

What?!

That's crazy!

But with all due respect,
Bob, if I can't go forward,

I'm gonna be really
hover-bored. [Board]

[ Rim shot ]

Yes.

So the next thing
we need to do

is add some propulsion.

Now, you can do that just
by having someone push you.

Okay.

Or you can use
a fire extinguisher.

Yes! Yes!
That's way better!

It's time to trick
this thing out.

Hell yeah.
Okay, please.

Ta-da!
Come on, it's nice, huh?

She's so beautiful!

We tricked it out an extra bonus
by doing dual propulsion.

So in theory, this should
give you the ability

to not only go forward,
but to turn.

-That is incredible.
-I know.

One thing, though,
if I may?

-Yeah.
-Brakes?

Oh. Uh, no brakes.

[ Smacks lips ]

Great.

[ Bob laughs ]

Science!

Wait -- yeah.

There you go.

Squeeze them!
Squeeze them!

Whoo!

Okay, Bob.

Well,
sometimes in science...

You have a hypothesis.

-Right.
-And then you do the test...

-Right.
-And you don't really hover.

Right.
So you have to tweak.

So you figure out
what went wrong.

Now, in this case, I'd say we
have kind of an uneven surface,

which affects
the air flow.

And then
maybe we could put

a slightly more
powerful blower in there.

Okay. So we make
a couple adjustments,

and then we dare to dream
and hover another day.

Hover another day.

Bye! [ Laughs ]

See ya later --
in the future!

Science!

Bedding blues got you down?

Well, I've got you covered.

This is pop quiz.

Difficult duvet cover
threatening to ruin your date night?

Everything needs to be perfect
before chazz gets here.

Well, lucky for you,
I know my way around a bedroom.

I've got a hack that'll get
that comforter under wraps

in today's pop quiz!

This is more excitement
than this room

has seen in weeks!

-Let's play!
-Easy, tiger.

Save it for chazz.

Do you think you should use
"a," a broom stick,

"b," rolling it up
like a delicious burrito,

or, "c," a clothes hanger?

Well, it seems a broom stick

would help you get the comforter
in those corners.

I'm gonna go with "a,"
the broom stick.

[ Buzzer ]

Ha!
In your dreams.

The answer is actually "b,"
the burrito method.

-Really?
-Just turn the duvet cover

inside out
and lay it flat on the bed.

Place your duvet on top

and start rolling
at the closed end.

Then tuck the ends
into the cover

to finish your bedroom burrito,

zip the cover closed,
and unroll.

This looks amazing!

Thanks, pop quiz lady.

Now, do you have any hacks
for convincing someone

it's time to move in together?

Um, not that I can share
on a TV-14 show.

Sleep tight, hackers.

[ Whispering ]
I'll be watching.

Kevin:
Coming up, a hacker's guide

to catching a cab
anytime, anywhere.

Not easy for
a wounded bird out here

in this concrete jungle.

Brooke: And tricks to turn
those cheap sheets

into hotel-quality linens.

No way!

When the "hack" comes back.

On the rousing conclusion
of "hacks del corazón"...

My sister and I are
in love with your twin!

Forget him.
Run away with me.

I can't!

Ay, you're right.

Aaah!

[ Gasps ]

You have spilled the wax
on the expensive rrrrug!

Worry not.

I shall place this bag of ice
on the wax until it is frozen.

Then I will chip away at the wax
with this dull knife.

[ Ting! Ting! ]

It seems your bag of ice
has saved the expensive rrrug.

Now place that bag of ice
on your heart --

to cool
your burning passion!

There is no ice on this earth
cold enough to cool my desire.

Ay!

"Hacks del corazón."

Taxi. Taxi!

Rush hour in big cities
is the worst!

It's just a mob of angry people
all fighting for the same cab.

Yeah, now, whether you live
in a big city

or you're just
visiting one,

we're gonna show you
how to stand out from the crowd

and hack your way
into the back of a cab.

This is gaming the system.

Kevin: Today, we're testing
out three hacks

that should help you
hail a cab faster,

and we're doing it
at peak rush hour,

so the majority of cabs
are already full.

The average wait time
for a cab

in New York City
is five minutes.

If we can beat that time,
we'll consider the system gamed.

Our first hack, believe it
or not -- it's a wad of cash.

Ooh, la la!

The thinking here
is that if cabbies

see you flashing a little green,
they'll pick you up faster.

Brooke: Flash that cash.
We got a stack.

Oh, this guy likes
the sight of your cash.

Oh. He didn't.
Wow.

Come on, buddy.

I wonder if they think
you're trying to do

an illegal transaction
with me.

And they don't want
any part of it.

This guy might cut
across four lanes of traffic.

No, he just got someone.

Oh, she's gonna?
Oh, okay.

Did she just upstream us?
This is gonna be a battle right here.

-But I got a wad of cash.
-Yeah.

Are you kidding me?!
I had a wad of cash!

[ Mockingly ]
Well, enjoy your ride. Enjoy your ride.

[ Buzzer ]

Our next hack
is a whistle.

Brooke:
Using a whistle is a trick that doormen at hotels

and fancy apartment
buildings use

when they need to hail
a cab for someone.

Let's see if it will work
for little old me.

Okay, we got five minutes to use
that whistle to get a cab.

Oh, I'm gonna hail a semi.

[ Whistle blowing ]

[ Ding ]

He made eye contact with me.
Sorry, guys.

Gotta have a whistle
to get a cab in New York.

-How you doing?
-Cab wasn't even visible.

He heard the whistle,
pulled around the truck

with the hazards on,
and now Brooke is off.

And for our final hack,
it's the lame duck.

Kevin:
All right, it's not the most ethical thing in the world,

but let's see
if these crutches can score me

some sympathy points
and a quicker ride.

[ Grunting ]

Oh, my god.

[ Grunts ] Come on.

Oh, come on!
I got a busted wingie!

Sir, si--
oh, come on!

Where's your soul?!

God!
All these cabs are taken!

Sir, let me hop on the back.
No? Okay.

Okay, four minutes,
buddy.

You know, maybe if you're lucky,
an ambulance will pick you up.

Okay, I got a minute.
You'll see. This is my one.

Come on, I'm gonna lock eyes,
give it a nice wave.

Oh, this guy up here.
Come on, buddy. Come on.

Oh! Oh, eye contact!

Blinker! Oh!

Oh, sweet victory.
[ Ding ]

Oh, thank you. Curbside service
because I am injured.

Byeeeeee!

Oh.
Oh, look who it is.

It's 2017's biggest a-hole.

Oh! My ankles are fine!

I guess that's a hack.

And this bad boy got me
into a cab in under a minute.

Want to get us
a ride out of here?

Yeah, let's do it.
So I'm just gonna...

Oh! Why?!

Okay, get your little crutch
out there, bud.

-Oh!
-I'm trying the whistle, too,

just so
we definitely succeed.

-Get your own cab.
-What's the..

[ Whistle blows ]

Kevin:
Close your laptop and throw your smartphone down a well.

Brooke:
We're bringing the Internet's craziest hackers to your TV.

It's worldwide hacks.

If you're a fan of this show,
then you know that Kevin

and I have failed
miserably in our attempts

to change the way
america eats corn.

-Is that working for you?
-It's wack.

Which is why we're excited
to bring you a hack

that will change
the corn-eating game forever.

Here to show it to us is
competitive eater yasir Salem.

Thanks for having me.

So you have the current
world record, correct?

-Yeah!
-I'm the world record

holder in sweet corn eating.

What was everyone
doing so wrong

where you saw the window
for improvement?

So the way that most people
do it is the typewriter method,

which is basically
start from one end,

you go to the other,
and use your teeth up and down.

And everybody seemed to be
topping out at about

36 ears of corn
in 12 minutes.

-So much fiber.
-Yeah.

So I started looking around.

I completely threw
the typewriter

method out the window.

And so I picked up
this little device,

which is actually
called a corn stripper.

Okay.

And the way it works
is up and down,

as opposed to, you know,
the typewriter method.

So it's more about the strength
of going up and down

versus, like,
using your jaw.

Tell me
about the new hotness.

When you entered the game,
when you changed things --

what are you at?

47.
47 in 12 minutes.

Which is basically one corn
on the cob every 15 seconds.

I kind of want
to see this in action.

Oh, I've been saving
my appetite.

Yeah!

I'll just explain it
to your real quick.

You go seven
or eight passes

using only your top teeth,
not your bottom.

And then you twist on the ends
and then go all the way across.

Here we go.
Ready?

Ready.

Kevin: Okay, that's good.
Wow.

Wow!

Oh! Oh, there's the twist.
There was the twist.

Twist to clean.

Wow!

-That tastes so good.
-[ Laughs ]

I'm glad
you really enjoy corn.

All right, I'm gonna try to --
I'm gonna go half speed.

I'm excited, yeah.
Here we go.

-Yes. That looks good.
-Oh. Yeah.

What's interesting
is that your nose

gets really intimate
with it, too.

-Yes!
-Yeah, you can even get

an errant kernel
in a sinus, can't you?

Yes, yeah.

Good. You're actually
doing really well.

Thanks, yasir!
Appreciate it.

Yeah. Good job!

-[ Muffled ] There you go.
-Yeah.

They're gonna have to
come and hose you down.

I'm a mess, yasir.

It's okay.
It's okay.

Yasir, you are 10 kinds
of awesome, man.

Thank you so much
for joining us.

-Great talking to you.
Bye!

All right, I'm gonna pass
the corn to Brooke now.

Yeah, we just want to turn off
the cameras when I do this.

Yeah, let's make sure everybody
clear the studio, please,

'cause she gets
into a rage.

Everybody, out!

She's corn-raging, guys!
We know the drill.

Stop looking at me!

Kevin: Up next...

Step up and spot the hack.

We show you how to hack
your thread count

without emptying
your bank account.

What?!

When the "hack"
slumbers back.

Trying to sleep on scratchy
sheets can be a real nightmare.

But why pay top dollar
for fancy bedding?

Today, we're trying out a hack
to soften up cheap sheets,

and we're putting it to the test
in the wild of New York!

Oh, it's so wild!

This is spot the hack.

To hack your own
cheap sheets at home,

all you need to do
is throw them in the washer

with one cup of baking soda,
a half cup of vinegar,

and run them
for one wash cycle.

-Come on, New York!
-Step up and spot the hack!

Roll around in bed
with Kevin, everybody.

Sir, do you want
to sleep with me? Spot the hack?

Nope.

Hey, you guys want
to spot the hack?

-Ah, there we go.
-Take a break for a moment.

-How are you two?
-Thanks for stepping on up.

We're playing a little game
today called spot the hack.

Kevin: We have one set
of expensive sheets,

and then we've got
a set of $25 bedsheets

that we performed a hack on
that might make it feel

just as soft
as the expensive variety.

What do you say we hop in
and see if we can spot the hack?

-Yeah!
-Guys, no shoes in the bed.

That's our one rule.

Just get in here
and roll around.

Ohhhh!

Brooke: So, what are you feeling
in the sheets?

I don't know.
I wouldn't buy these.

-Okay.
-But I could sleep right now.

Oh, I could sleep
on this, for sure.

-It feels simple, soft.
-The texture?

-I would have to disagree.
-Okay.

I think this
does not feel too soft.

-How do you like those sheets?
-They feel new,

like just out
of the package.

-Mm-hmm.
-But still not bad.

It doesn't take a lot to
please me, so I like them.

All right, well,
that's the first set of sheets.

Why don't we move
on to our second set?

Brooke: Live it up. Roll around
like you would at home.

These pillows
are way softer. 100%.

The light-blue sheets
feel...

I don't know, softer.

I'm still
with the dark-blue.

-This one already feels softer.
-It does. Less rough.

-Interesting. Okay.
-I like them.

Well, this is spot the hack,
so you have to do just that.

Which set of sheets
do you think is the hack?

I think the dark-blue ones
I think were the hacked ones.

Honestly, this looks
more expensive.

I think the light-blue
was hacked.

I'm going to say that
the dark-blue one was hacked.

Dark-blue is
the cheaper sheet.

I'd say dark-blue, too.

The hacked set
of bedsheets...

[ Drum roll ]

...is light-blue.

-Yeah, these are --
-what?!

These are $25 bedsheets

that we hacked
to feel luxurious.

I would love to know
the secret of that.

One cup of baking soda,
half a cup of vinegar,

and just do
a wash cycle once.

-No way!
-Five to one.

Go to your pantry,
hack yourself some bedsheets

and sleep soundly
for the rest of your life.

Treat yourself, people.

I'm gonna do that
when I get home.

Want to come over to our place
and wash our sheets, too?

Um...

No.

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