All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e06 Fill Er Up.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately!

Kevin: Tonight on "Dr. Hack"...

Before he was america's
favorite physician,

he was...

Doogie hacker, m.D.

Ah! My arm.

It feels like it's on fire.

What's the diagnosis,
doctor?

Acute bee sting.

We're running out of time.

I'm calling it.

Time of death, 4:27 P.M.

Nurse, remove the body.

Hang on.

It's not game over
for this guy yet.

Who let this child
into the E.R.?

He's not just any child.

He's our newest doctor,

doogie hacker, m.D.

I may look young,
Dr. Manning, but I assure you

my approach to medicine
is very mature.

Nurse, rub this onion
on the sting.

Onion juice
contains quercitine,

an antioxidant that can
reduce inflammation.

My arm.
It feels alive again.

Lucky guess.

You're so handy
with that onion, doogie.

Maybe you'd like to peel back
some of my layers?

No, thanks.

The only thing grosser
than onions are girls.

Gross.

Kevin: Doogie hacker, m.D.,

still learning about
the birds and the bees.

Brooke:
Tonight on "hack my life"...

...we show you how to put air
into your party

without wasting a single breath.

Oh, no!

-Plus...
-You're surrounded.

Kevin: ...The cool new way
to pig out on a b.L.T.

Mmm.

Brooke:
A fuel-saving hack that big oil

doesn't want you to know about.

Everybody on this road
hates you.

-Look at them.
[ Horns honking ]

-And...
-Oh, man.

Kevin: ...Find out which
hack can save you

from the dreaded gum shoe.

Do you want to do
some double Dutch?

It's all
hack-ening right now...

On "hack my life."

The average American spends

upwards of $1,500
a year at the pump.

And when oil prices go up,

it can cost so much
more than that.

Yeah, meanwhile,
the oil industry

is posting record profits

at the expense
of the little guys.

But today, we're gonna
test out some hacks

that could put the power
back in your wallet.

This is
gaming the system.

Today, we're testing out
a hack designed

to improve this gas guzzler's
fuel economy.

Oh, it gets a very lackluster
24 miles to the gallon.

So we're gonna
try to hack that.

And once we've driven
around for an hour,

and check in on our mpg
readout throughout the ride.

If it reads better than 24,
well, then congrats,

system,
you just got gamed.

-Ooh, damn right.
-For my hack,

I'll be building
an aerodynamic body kit

out of cardboard.

Kevin:
Yes, you heard that right,

just regular old cardboard.

The idea here
is to make the car

more aerodynamic by covering

up the bottom front grille
and the rear wheels.

This should reduce drag

and the amount of fuel used
while driving.

Not to mention,
it makes my ride look sick.

Glasses.

Hello, New Jersey!

Now, I'm gonna bring
her up to speed.

And just watch this average
miles per gallon just soar up.

It just dropped.
It's dropping.

Well, I was accelerating
to get up to speed,

but once I'm at speed,
that cardboard's gonna kick in.

-Okay.
-We should be seeing that

miles per gallon
start to rise.

All right.

We're at 21.9,
which is pretty good.

Sir, I noticed you don't have
any cardboard on your vehicle.

Man: Shut up.

Just making friends.

22.3.
The average was 24.

So...

22.6!
-Okay.

Come on, high score.

-24.
-Ha-ha!

So average.

Whoo!

Doesn't get more medium
than that.

All right, let's see
if we can push this bad boy

up over 24 miles per gallon.

Come on.
Let's go, cardboard.

Well, kev, I don't know
if it's gonna get any better.

This is not --
this is a total bust.

[ Buzzer ]

Well, you want to see
if my hack has any merit to it?

-Please.
-Okay.

For my hack,
I'm going to be hypermiling,

which is a style of driving
where you use the brake

and the gas pedal
as little as possible

to maximize
your fuel efficiency.

I am really just trying
not to work the gas

or the brake
to any sort of exertion.

You basically want to be
asleep at the wheel

with your eyes open.
-Yep.

Look at this.
-That's it.

Oh, this person...

Cut him off.
You can't hit the brake.

-I'm going to.
-You can't hit the brake.

Sorry, sir, hypermiling.

I'm just gonna coast
right onto the highway, okay?

Hold on to your hats!

Speed limit here is 65.

Is it? Oh, nice.

But the optimal speed for
your car's miles per gallon --

-is between 50 and 60.
-Between 50 and 60.

All right, I'm gonna let
the needle drop a little bit.

Get a little closer
to 50.

Are you accelerating at all?

-Barely.
-Okay.

Look, you're at 23.5,
Brooke.

-Oh, my god, I can get it.
-Crawling up there.

[ Horns blaring ]
24 miles. Oh, my god.

And one Van letting you know
with their horn.

Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

They recognize that
you're saving gas.

This is great.
-Oh.

Everybody on this road
hates you. Look at them.

The senior care car service
just blasted by you.

Doot-doot.

24 miles. Come on, baby.
We can break that.

24.5!

[ Gasps ]
Bitch, get out of here.

That's what they're all yelling
as they're passing you.

So I guess, by default,
my grandmother hypermiles?

-Yes.
-No matter where she drives.

Brooke, do you know what your
average mpg is right now?

-28?
-Keep guessing.

-29.
-Keep guessing.

-Shut up.
-30.1 miles per gallon.

I think I gamed
the system, my friend.

♪♪

Well done, bvp.
Hypermiling!

Hypermiling,
gaming the system!

We missed the exit
like 20 miles ago.

Oh.

♪♪

-Check, check, 1, 2.
-Stand by. All right.

We're ready, Kevin.
-Yep.

Oh, New York.

It's a beautiful concrete jungle
that makes dreams.

But if you take one wrong step,

you got a gummy nightmare.

That's why I've got hidden
cameras all around me.

I'm gonna see if random passerby

will help me De-gum my sneakers.

This is lend me a hack.

Watch your step. Hi there.
You have any hacks for gum?

Just do one of these?

Here in New York,
we just scrape it on objects.

You guys have anything
that can get gum off a shoe,

other than rage?
-No.

Do you guys have anything
that can get this off?

-Totally.
[ "Charge" fanfare plays ]

Are you kidding me?
That's so sweet of you, yeah.

Is that gonna work?
Wait, did you read it already?

Okay, I feel like
it's almost making it worse.

Okay.
Yeah, here.

I'll just --
I'll walk back.

Do you want to do
some double Dutch?

[ Buzzer ]

Excuse me,
do you have anything

that can get gum
off a shoe?

No.

Excuse me, miss?
I got a lot of gum on my shoe.

Do you have anything
that can get this off?

I have my gum.
Maybe it would unstick it?

If I put
more gum on the gum?

[ "Charge" fanfare plays ]

You are very brave.

Okay.

Oh, look,
that's progress.

Do you have 347 more pieces
of gum in your purse?

I don't.

Then I don't think
that's gonna work.

[ Buzzer ]

Oh, it's on my laces.

It's on the laces.

Excuse me, sorry.

Do either of you have anything
that can get gum off shoes?

Any gum -- look at that.

Want to try an ice cube?

-I want to try anything.
-All right.

[ "Charge" fanfare plays ]

-I've had gum in my hair before.
-And you used ice?

Yeah.
So here, let's take this. Okay.

-And so --
-and then just rub it on.

Oh, no,
it's starting to rain.

Oh, I can --
like, instantly I can feel it

getting a little harder,
actually.

Yeah, I can see it getting hard.
You know what, actually,

I think I have
a dog poop bag.

I do.
[ Laughs ]

All right, here we go.
Let it get cold.

Rub it a little bit.
There we go.

All right!
-Ah, look at that!

-That's good.
-Fished in one piece.

[ Ding! ]

-Thank you.
-Have a good one.

-You, too.
-Okay, bye.

Got the gum off my shoe.

Who knew? Ice cubes.

Freeze it, friends.

Ha-ha!
It's seriously raining, though.

I'm gonna get out of here.
[ Thunder rumbles ]

Coming up...

The lazy cook shows you how to
increase your bacon intake.

Lot of pigs had
to die for this,

but, mmm, worth it.

Brooke: And we find out

which of these balloon hacks
doesn't blow.

When the hack...
-Oh, no!

...pops back.

Kevin: Fevers rise on
the next "doogie hacker, m.D."

What are you doing here,
doogie hacker?

Aren't you supposed
to be grounded?

My mom says I'm allowed
to come to work.

She said they need
a doctor here

who can actually
treat patients.

You're not even qualified
to treat a case of lice.

Oh, really?

Mayonnaise?

Thanks,
but I really prefer mustard.

♪♪

The thick, oily consistency
of Mayo

serves to suffocate
the lice eggs.

Just cover your head
with a shower cap before bed,

and by morning,
you'll be able to comb out

all those nasty
little buggers.

Damn it, Dr. Hacker,
I still don't like you.

But I am starting
to respect you.

Hey, that's great.
Then you won't mind

that I'm taking your daughter
to spring formal.

Ah!

Will Dr. Manning
and doogie hacker

ever see eye to eye?

Find out on the next
"doogie hacker, m.D."

♪♪

Man, any bozo worth
his weight in face paint

will tell you
blowing up balloons

is no easy task,

which is why today
we're testing out hacks

that could help you normal folks
breathe a little bit easier.

It's hack vs. Hack.

Well, hello, everyone,
and welcome to the first annual

"hack my life"
inflate race.

Together: Whoo!

Today,
Ari, Lynette, and Amy

will be competing
to inflate as many balloons

as they can without
using their wind pipes.

If there were hacks
beneath this box

that could help you
inflate balloons,

save your precious lungs,
would you be interested?

-Oh, I would love it.
-Yeah.

-Bring it on.
-All right, all right.

And here are your hacks.

-Whoo!
-Wow!

Three
very different hacks.

First up,
we got a bike pump.

Now, it can refill tires,

so it should also be able
to blow up balloons.

Our next hack is vinegar
and baking soda.

Now, when these
substances mix,

you release carbon dioxide.

If you can trap
that using a bottle,

you can
blow up a balloon.

Last, but certainly not least,
the old leaf blower.

Getting a balloon around
the nozzle may be tricky,

but it probably has enough power
to get the job done.

Ari,
I'll start with you.

I'm gonna take
the science route.

-You're going science?
-Baking soda and vinegar.

Lynette?
I think I'm gonna go with the bike pump.

Well, Amy, that means you're
left with the leaf blower,

but I saw you celebrating.
-Yeah, yeah.

I'm, like, ready to blow up
some balloons, man.

Fighting words.
Let's get this party started.

Ladies, we'll have
two minutes on the clock.

Whoever can fully
inflate and tie off

the most balloons
will be declared the winner.

Ready?

Set...

Blow!

Okay, the bike pump is down.
We got a funnel,

trying to fill multiple balloons
with baking soda.

If you want to mule cocaine
across the border,

this technique works,
as well.

Oh, oh!

The leaf blower immediately
inflating the first balloon.

I'm gonna call that good.

Lynette's getting
some pumps in there.

Man,
that is a lot of time

and a lot of effort
for a little inflation.

I can hear the air escaping.

We've got some vinegar
going into a bottle here.

And she is shaking it violently.
-It's gonna work.

-There it is!
-There we go. There we go!

That might be her first balloon,
and it is.

Amy is on her second balloon
right now.

Lynette's
got two on the table.

Oh.

Oh,
we got a burst balloon.

60 seconds in.
We got 1 minute remaining.

Baking soda's got
three balloons.

Okay, that's four
for the bike pump.

And the leaf blower
is in the lead with five.

10 seconds.

Oh, no!
-Aah!

What just happened?

Aah!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

That is it.
Hands up.

That's it.

That's the visual
I wanted.

Interesting competition.

Ari,
we'll start with you.

♪♪

Um...
[ Music winds down ]

I mean,
you're looking at me

as if you expect me to count
this as a complete balloon,

but you don't really, do you?
-It's beautiful.

Yeah. I'm sorry,
I'm gonna have to --

I'm gonna have to
toss that one aside.

So three balloons for Ari.
But congrats.

Lynette.
-Hi.

I'm counting
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

I thought I had six.

I mean, there are
six items on the table,

but should I start counting
these, as well, Lynette?

-You laugh.
-Five balloons.

-I'll take that.
-Yeah, very solid.

Very solid.
Amy, how did you do?

I mean, I feel like
I did all right.

I mean,
very full balloons.

Very aggressive
with that leaf blower.

I mean,
it's just a powerhouse.

Okay, so the final
tally for Amy --

I see 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6, 7, 8 balloons.

The winner is clear.

Congrats to Amy
and her leaf blower.

They have won
this hack vs. Hack!

[Bleep] Yeah!

Thank you.

[ Bell dings ]

Thank you all
for participating.

That was a lot of fun.
-Great to be here.

And look, friends,
there is a clear winner.

If you have a bunch
of balloons to inflate

and you want to scare some pets
or your own children,

grab a leaf blower
and feel the power.

Coming up...

A baconless bite
is unacceptable.

Kevin: ...Brooke shows you how
to put the "b" back in b.L.T.

Brooke: Plus hacks to break up
like a pro.

Kevin:
When the hack bounces back.

Kevin: It's a family affair
on "doogie hacker, m.D."

Patient complained
of trouble inhaling,

and examination revealed
the nasal cavity

to be completely
clogged with snot.

This is the gnarliest case
of stuffy nose

I've ever seen in
all my years of medicine.

How many years
can that be?

Can't breathe.

Have you tried giving him a
decongestant like grated ginger?

Of course. I'm a doctor,
damn it, not some candy striper.

It didn't make a dent.

Now, if you don't have
any other suggestions,

I'm calling in a doctor
that can grow facial hair.

Well, there is one thing,
but I'm warning you, it's crazy.

I found this back massager
under my mom's bed.

If I place it on the cheek bone,
it should vibrate the sinuses,

shaking everything loose.

[ Buzzing ]

[ Inhales ]

I can smell again!

Thanks, doogie hacker.

You should be
thanking me.

-Mom!
-I told you a million times

to stay away from
mommy's personal stuff.

-Busted.
-Oh, well, hello, doctor.

♪♪

The best part about a b.L.T.,
the bacon, of course.

Hey, where's the --

"lettuce" be clear.

A baconless bite
is unacceptable.

So today, I'm gonna show you
how to hack your b.L.T.

So every bite has delicious,
dreamy, pig meat in it.

All you need to get started

is three pieces of bacon,
cut in half.

You want to take
three of these guys,

lay them down vertically.

We are gonna take
the two outside strips,

fold them down like so,

and then lay another piece
of bacon across horizontally,

and then bring those guys up
and take the middle strip.

And then just continue
weaving the bacon

as if you were making
a lattice pie crust.

And we've got a bacon weave.

All right.

Now I'm just gonna
pop this bad boy

into the oven at 350

for about 20 to 25 minutes.

Now, it's up to you
what you do while you wait,

but I like to stand here

like a weird bacon stalker

and just [inhales] inhale.

And boom #ilovebacon.

Oh, look at this.

Now that we've got
our finished bacon weave,

this is the moment
we've all been waiting for.

Now I'm gonna slap
these guys together.

[ Sighs ]
Hello, gorgeous.

Mmm.

Don't go "bacon" my heart, okay?

[ Laughter ]

So much bacon.

Mmm.

I'm in a good place.

Can you leave?

No, seriously,
turn the camera off.

It's about to get weird.

Kevin:
Sunglasses, shader of eyeballs.

Blocker of uv rays.

But did you know
these tinted specs

are also a hack from history?

Alaska, 2,000 years ago.

Inuits seek a way
to keep the glare

of sunlight on snow
from blinding them.

Toklo, up ahead!
Look out!

[ Screams ]
[ Munches ]

Kevin: So they start carving

walrus tusks into
light-blocking goggles,

and protective eyewear is born.

But sunglasses
don't become see-through

until 12th-century China.

Wanting to appear
impartial in court,

judges cover their eyes with
shades made of smokey quartz.

I find these glasses guilty
of making me look cool.

Flash forward
to england 1752,

optician James ascough
sees a stained-glass window

and gets a bright idea.

He starts adding a blue tint
to the lenses he makes,

and sunglasses made
of actual glass quickly

become a symbol of status.

I'm rich enough to stare
directly at the sun.

Kevin: But shady spectacles
don't catch on

with the general public
until 1920s Hollywood.

Actors wear sunglasses
on set to protect their eyes

from the bright lights.

While the really famous stars

sport them off-set
to avoid being recognized,

only it doesn't work.

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

Demand for sunglasses explodes,

and soon everyone
is wearing cheap knock-offs

of their favorite star's shades.

So here's to you, sunglasses.

You remain a cool accessory

that's acceptable
to wear everywhere

except indoors.

What a great hack from history.

Stick around, love bugs.

Up next, we show you
how to lose a guy

in way less than 10 days.

When the hack comes back.

Kevin:
Close your laptop and throw your smartphone down a well.

Brooke:
We're bringing the Internet's craziest hackers to your TV.

It's worldwide hacks.

Normally,
our research team scours the web

to find
the best hacks out there,

but this week's hack was

actually sent to me
by my pen pal.

I didn't know you had
a pen pal, kev.

There's a lot you
don't know about me.

But you do know
my pen pal very well.

Joining us now, co-creator
and mentor of

Brooke "the lazy cook"
Van poppelen,

it's her mom,
Kathleen Van poppelen.

-Hi, mom.
-Hi. How you doing?

Kathleen,
your daughter is a joy.

Why is she still single?

Well, you'll have
to ask her.

-Mom, little support here.
-I'm curious --

Brooke as a teenager,
was she a complete angel?

No, not at all.

Stop it.

She always had
different one-liners

that now I think are hilarious.

But back then, I didn't
think were funny at all.

-What would she say?
-One time,

her dad was
telling her something,

and she wasn't paying attention.

And he yelled at her,
and she said,

"oh, yeah, I guess I should tune
into the mad dad station."

[ Laughs ]

Oh, sick burn, dad.

So,
you have devised a hack

that can make meatloaf
completely mess-free?

Absolutely.
I call it my no-mess meatloaf.

You actually
took grandma's meatloaf,

and you hacked it.

That's right.

Is meatloaf a particularly
messy meal to make?

It's terribly messy.

You're squishing it through
your fingers all the time.

It's awful.

But with my ingredients
in a bag,

that doesn't happen.
-Hey.

All you do is just squish
everything from the outside --

clean hands.

Keep squishing it
till you know

you got everything mixed

everywhere that you want it.
Clean hands.

No disgusting things
going through your fingers.

And that's how
I hacked meatloaf.

Yeah.

Well, it looks like
an amazing hack.

And I got to tell you, we have
some of the recipe right here.

-Ooh.
-And it smells amazing, too.

Don't mind if I do.

All right, mom,
we're gonna dig in.

Yeah.

Yeah.
-I love it.

Yes, a thousand times yes.

Are we about done here?
I got to go make dinner.

Okay, well, thanks
for the hack, Kathleen.

And thanks for your daughter.
-Just keep hacking away.

Yes,
I like that attitude.

-Okay, bye-bye.
-Bye, mama.

♪♪

-Ahh.
[ Toilet flushes ]

Kevin: Sometimes ordinary people
do extraordinary things

all in the name of hacking.

People like Betsy.

When she met her
boyfriend Sam,

she thought he might be
Mr. Right.

Then he gave her a vacuum
cleaner for her birthday,

and she realized it wasn't
just the gift that sucked.

Now it's time for Betsy to
break it off with Sam for good

because she is a hack hero.

Because Betsy is
a next-level hacker,

she's employing mind hacks
to dump her chump.

Nobody wants to get bad news
over the weekend,

which is why Betsy picks
Wednesday as the dump date.

This way her soon-to-be ex

will get two full work days
to recover.

Way to break up like a boss.

Next up, looking gross.

Loosing a beauty like Betsy
would crush any man,

so she throws her hair
into a ponytail

and trades in those cool jeans
for some baggy sweat pants.

No one would mind seeing
this walk out the door.

Item number three,
don't be horny.

Betsy knows that break-up sex
can lead to UN-breaking up.

That's why she's munching
on black licorice,

which contains phytoestrogen,

a compound that
decreases libido.

[ Doorbell rings ]
-Sounds like Sam's here.

Betsy knows she'll need
a plan of attack

before breaking
the bad news.

Good thing she's got
a secret weapon --

the crib notes
she's stuck to her blinds.

Now Betsy can recall
every lame gift and broken date

with seemingly
photographic memory.

Talk about throwing shade.

Uh-oh, Sam's going in
for a kiss.

But Betsy fends him off

with a whiff
of black licorice breath.

Looks like this relationship
is about to go long distance.

Time to go in for the kill.

To avoid things getting messy,

Betsy wants to make sure
this breakup appears mutual.

So she asks Sam yes
or no questions

that force him to respond "yes."

Kevin: Don't you agree
that we have problems?

Kevin: Sure.

And wouldn't you prefer
to be happy instead?

Yeah.

So don't you think
that we should break up?

Yes.

[ Twinkle! ]

[ Crying ]

Uh-oh, an unexpected
counterattack.

Sam's pulled the ultimate
emotional trump card

and turned on the waterworks,

but Betsy refuses
to be outmaneuvered.

She squeezes a pressure point

between Sam's thumb
and index finger

that can instantly
alleviate tears.

Nice try, Sam,
but it's time to man up.

At last, the talk is over.

And Betsy is ready
to move on.

Sam doesn't look like
he'll ever move again,

but Betsy is ready
for everything.

She hands Sam
a box of his things

that she's already packed
and sends him out the door.

See you later, Sam.

You'll always
remember the day

you got dumped
by Betsy breaker-upper,

a true hack hero.

Officer's checking out
my sweet mod.

Brooke: Trying to decide if
they want to pull us over.

Well, the po-po
can't catch this hot rod.

"Sir,
you got to slow down."

Officer, have you ever
pulled over celebrities?

[ Laughs ]

Well, let us know
when you do.

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