All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e04 Hacks to Set the Mood.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately!

Narrator: On a steamy
"hacks del corazón",

tengo solución is having trouble
rising to the occasion.

[ Sighs ]

Are you no longer
in love with me?

Never,
my precious sugarplum.

But there are other ways
to get me ready to go.

Oh, tell me, lover.

For centuries,
saffron has been used

as a natural aphrodisiac.

Just mix it
with massage oil,

and pour it all over
my naked, sexy body.

Ooh!

[ Boing! ]

-Gardener!
-[ Gasps ]

What are you doing here?

Señorita, I thought you were
in love with me.

Huh?

I am in love...
With the both of you.

Well, there's only
one way to solve this.

[ Gasps ]

Give señorita
the space and time

she needs to sort out
what her heart wants?

Exactamundo.

Narrator: Love takes time,
on "hacks del corazón".

Brooke:
Tonight on "hack my life"...

That's disgusting.

Ready, set, rub.

Three sunbathers
attempt to screen up

without a helping hand.

Oh, no!
She's making a mess.

Kevin: Plus, hacks to put
a spark back in your marriage.

[ Growl! ]

Brooke: Hacks to cool things
down in the bedroom.

How much fun
is this to play with?

I like this one.

Kevin: And a trick to help you
game the evil arcade system.

This seems less like a hack
and more like a felony.

Brooke:
Get your game face on, hackers.

This is "hack my life".

I'm gonna call
that good enough.

That's the motto
of this show.

When it comes to
protecting your skin,

there is nothing more important

than some good
old-fashioned sunscreen.

Hey, do you guys mind
helping with my back?

So, what do you do
when you're all alone

and you can't find
a kind stranger

who will help you
with your back?!

We're gonna find out right now,

on this hack vs. Hack.

Welcome, everyone,

to the first-ever
"hack my life" rubathon!

-Whoo!
-Thank you.

Today, I'm joined
by Emily, Alex, and Cornelia.

They're all swimmers,
and they all suffer

from suntan-lotion-
related issues.

What's your preferred method
of application?

Oh, I genuinely will
go arms and then legs.

Usually I get someone
to do my back.

See, that's the problem.
Arms, fine, legs, fine.

The moment you get
back there, what do you do?

That's when it
gets difficult.

Well, I happen to have
three possible hacks.

Curious to find out
what they are?

-Yes.
-Here we go.

Kevin: Our first hack
is plastic wrap.

Take a generous piece,

squirt a nice sizeable
load on it,

and then give yourself
one of those back shimmies.

Hack number two
is a paint roller.

Pretty self-explanatory,
your back becomes the canvas.

Hack number three,
you're going to want

to do a yoga pose
called cowface.

So you want to put
some sunscreen

on the back
of your hand,

get it nice and covered,
flip around,

get it
everywhere you need,

and avoid any awkward
encounters with strangers.

What are you guys thinking?
-I want the paint roller.

I think it's a time-tested
application method.

-I want the yoga pose.
-Oh, seriously?

[ Laughter ]

What, Emily,
you're not super stoked

to use some plastic wrap?

I think it's gonna
be a challenge.

All right, contestants,

we're gonna use
mustard-yellow sunscreen,

so it should be
pretty noticeable,

and whoever covers the most
will be declared the winner.

You guys ready to go?
-Yes.

Three, two, rub.

Ha ha.
Hack!

Emily's making a pizza.

Cornelia already
with the sunscreen

on the back of the hand.

There's a lot of sunscreen
flying around.

Guys, we're at
25 seconds.

Oh, no,
she's making a mess.

How's that roller
working, Alex?

Feeling like you're not
missing any areas at all?

-Oh, no.
-Cornelia, how's that

back of the hand
hack working?

Feels good.

I think yoga
prepared me for this.

10 seconds left.

Cornelia gets some more
on the back of her hand.

All right, I think
I'm pretty much done.

Oh, Cornelia's gonna
call it quits.

I'm going for even
coverage here, all right?

Final coats!

3, 2, 1, that is it!

Hacks down!

Emily, let's take
a look at that back.

I'm seeing some skin
peeking through.

If you don't mind
I'm gonna do this,

and I'm gonna show you
there's no paint on my finger.

You definitely
missed some spots,

and you made an absolute mess
in the process.

Yeah, there's
sunscreen everywhere.

Yeah, yeah.

Alex, do you want to
show Cornelia

and Emily,
let them take a peek?

What do you guys think?
-Oh.

-Really?
-That's unmarked territory.

-You're serious?
-Are you surprised to see

that there's some
exposed sections?

-Absolutely.
-Cornelia, you seemed

to have it
done the quickest.

Emily, Alex,
what do you think?

I mean, she had the --

Emily: Couple spots, couple
spots there are missing.

Don't be a hater.

Kevin: Three great hacks.
Three great backs.

But there can be
only one winner.

Cornelia,
congratulations!

Three great competitors,

three surprisingly
great hacks,

but the answer
is pretty clear.

If you need to cover
every square inch of yourself,

reach no further than the back
of your own hand.

Who wants
to grease me up?

Emily,
you're walking away.

Cornelia?

Hey.

[ Crash! ]

Burritos --
breakfast of champions.

Ugh.
Until you go to take a bite,

and it falls apart faster
than my first marriage.

Luckily, I've got a hack today

that will help keep
your burrito together.

So, come on, egghead.
Let's roll.

The key to hacking
a perfect breakfast burrito

is cooking your
ingredients together,

so they'll actually
stick together.

I'm just going to go ahead
and take my scrambled eggs

and pour them into the pan,

and cook for about
30 seconds,

maybe a minute tops,
before you add

your other two ingredients.

So, I will add my tomato
and distribute cheese

just so it's covering
the whole enchilada.

It's a breakfast burrito.
I know the difference.

And now I'm going to take

the real show pony here,
a giant tortilla,

and place it right on top
of this big, delicious mess.

Normally, you have to steam
the tortilla in another pan.

Not with this hack.

We're cutting out the middle
pan, know what I'm saying?

Now, I'm going to take a very
generous portion of tin foil.

I'm going to lay it
right over the pan.

In a magic move,
I'm gonna do a little flip.

Look at this.

Add any other
ingredients you want.

I love guacamole, so I'm gonna
put some right down the center,

and I'll just add
a little bit of salsa.

Okay, we're ready to roll.

Just fold this into itself
and do a nice roll.

And then, just take the foil,
tuck in the end.

That's a nice package
right there.

And to make it even easier,
give it a cut right in half.

'Tis a thing of beauty.

Muy bonita.
Look at this!

In the time it takes
to make a cup of coffee,

you need one pan

and have a delicious, perfectly
formed breakfast burrito.

De nada.

Kevin: Up next...
Yeah.

...we hit the hack lab
to take on night sweats.

Mind blown.

Brooke: And find out which
of these steamy hacks

is 30% more likely
to bring on

the big "o",
when the hack comes back.

Narrator:
On a very passionate episode

of "hacks del corazón"...

Ooh, señor, our lovemaking
was intense.

Sí, that is my preferred style
of lovemaking.

I think too intense,
señor.

My traps are very sore.

Fear not, little lamb.

I will relax the tension
in your muscles.

Ooh!

By putting
two tennis balls

into this sock,

now I have made
a homemade massager,

that I will rub
on your neck

and back until your pain
is no más.

Wow!

And now I must tell you...
I'm pregnant.

Finally!
A child to call my own!

-No.
-The gardener?

Again?
-That baby is mine.

But how?

I made love
to the gardener.

That is where
babies come from.

Narrator: Will tengo solución
ever figure out

how to hack a broken heart?

Find out on the next
"hacks del corazón".

Okay, so maybe it's 98% outside
and the ac's busted.

Or, maybe the person you sleep
next to throws off more heat

than a blast furnace
at a steel mill.

Oh, your elbow's
touching my elbow.

Well, don't sweat it.
We've got some hacks

to keep you cool
in today's hack mail.

Brooke and I have been tossing
and turning in these sheets

to make them
unpleasantly warm.

Whichever hack works best
to cool it or us down

will receive
our coveted...

Both:
...Hack seal of approval.

Hack number one --

it comes to us from Ben
in mobile, Alabama.

He writes...

I'm gonna stuff the pillow
inside the t-shirt.

Yeah, treat it
like a pillowcase.

Also, makeshift boyfriend.
His name is Phillip.

-Oh, hi, Phillip.
-Yep.

Have you met Theresa?

-Hi, Theresa.
-You guys like brunch?

We love brunch, babe,
we love to have waffles.

Babe says that
we would role-play it.

Hmm.

If you're a side sleeper,
not very comfortable.

Back of the head,
I feel a slight difference.

It's a little crinkly.

Okay, within seconds,
the graphic on the graphic tee

adjusted
to body temperature.

The back of my head
is on fire.

So, hack number one,
interesting...

Interesting,
we'll put a pin in it.

Let's move on
to hack number two.

Our second hack comes from
aiesha in champagne, Illinois.

She writes...

Yeah.

"The mint keeps me cool,

and I throw on some socks
to keep the sheets clean."

Sounds warm and unsexy.

But I'm game to try it
on your feet, Brooke.

So, go for it!

All right, so we start
with the lotion.

A little bit of lotion.
Peppermint oil.

How many drops
are you thinking?

Oh, three, why not.
We're good, we're good.

It's gonna start burning.
Yikes!

So, it feels cool.

Good god.
-That's disgusting.

I can smell that right away.
I can smell the peppermint.

It is there.

Now I understand
the reasoning for the socks,

because this looks like
a cyst was just scalpeled off.

I get where aiesha's coming
from with the sock,

but we're trying
to cool down

so I'm just gonna take
the lotion

and peppermint
and ride it out.

Okay.
How do you feel?

It is cool.
It's refreshing.

I feel like, why not
go the extra mile

and just douse yourself head
to toe in this mixture?

Just slip around in your bed
just like a creepy eel.

Hack explored.

Let's move on to our third
and final hack.

Claire writes...

Yeah.

All right,
here's a top sheet.

Yeah, so let's just take
the bottom of the top sheet,

throw it over the fan
and then...

Oh, you know what?

I always keep
some tape back here.

Oh!

You keep that behind
your pillow, huh?

-Yeah.
-You're such a romantic.

Don't want to have
to interrupt the moment

to go searching for it.

And we'll go ahead
and tape this to the fan.

I'm gonna call
that good enough.

That's the motto
of this show.

Hey!
-You got room for two?

Yeah, bud.

Oh!

Oh, my god!

Honestly, like, my feet
are freezing right now.

And as long as
your feet are cold,

the rest of your body's
gonna cool down.

Mind blown.

I mean, it took
seconds to set up.

It's adjustable with how cool
you want it to be.

And look at this
sweet billow.

How much fun
is this to play with?

I mean, I like this one.

Yeah, this one is
the clear winner by far.

Claire, your box fan
wind tunnel wins our...

Both:
...Hack seal of approval.

Hey, if you've got hacks you
want us to try on this show,

it's very simple.
Go to trutv.Com/hacks,

send them our way,
and maybe we'll try them out.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

-She stays.
-Okay.

Narrator: Sometimes,
even extraordinary couples

face ordinary problems.

Couples like Helen and Humphrey,

two hack heroes
who decided to spend

the rest of their lives
hacking together.

But after five years
of marriage,

Helen and Humphrey's sex life
is a little less than super.

To rekindle that
newlywed spark,

they'll call upon
their powers of hackery,

because they are...

Helen's in the mood
for some afternoon delight,

and she knows just the hack
to get things started -- coffee.

According to a study,
female lab rats

that had caffeine
right before mating

were more likely
to want to do it again.

And again.

[ Growl! ]

Uh-oh, looks like Humphrey's
settling in in front of the TV.

But not on this
over-catenated hacker's watch.

Helen's got plans
for a scary movie instead.

She knows that frights flood
the bloodstream with adrenaline

and the brain with dopamine --

the same chemicals
that are released during sex.

Next stop -- the boudoir.

To really get things going,

Helen ditches the robe
and grabs wool socks.

That's because toasty toes
mean big o's.

And warm feet increase

the likelihood of orgasm
by 30%.

Over on the bed,
Humphrey is getting ready

to go by sucking face
with some watermelon.

The fleshy pink fruit
contains loads of citrulline,

an amino acid that improves
blood flow to you-know-what.

[ Boing! ]

Yeah, we know what.

With their senses aroused,
it's time to get hot and hacky.

By moving the action
from the bed to the floor,

Humphrey breaks with routine

and stimulates
the brain's novelty center,

among other parts.

Here's to you,
Helen and Humphrey.

The couple that hacks
together stays together.

We'll see you next time on...

Brooke:
Arcade-goers beware.

This is great for the shoulders,
bad for everything else.

We show you how to win big
and game the game.

Oh! Ha ha!

When the hack returns.

You may have
betrayed me many times,

but still,
I must congratulate you

on the birth
of your son.

Have a cigar with me.

Thank you, señor.

What is happening here?

We have made amends,

and are now enjoying
fine cigars.

But now my home will smell
like fine cigar smoke.

I swear, I will make
this smell vamanos at once

by filling this saucepan
with white vinegar

and heating to a low simmer
on the stove.

And the odors
will disappear.

Now our child will be raised
in a neutral-smelling home.

Speaking of which,
where is the child?

With his real papá!

-Father!
-Señor solución senior!

Gentlemen,
meet your nuevo hermano.

All across america,
there is one arcade game

that has claimed more quarters
than any other machine.

The dreaded claw game.

Today, we fight
to claim the prizes

that are
rightfully ours.

This is
gaming the system.

Winning at arcade games
like the claw...

It's not
that it's impossible,

it's just that the odds
are really stacked against you.

-I've never won, have you?
-Occasionally.

But there are a few things
that you can be aware of

that might
increase your odds

if the machine isn't
completely rigged against you.

First hack --
the knock method.

This comes in handy
when you've got a claw

with a weak grip.

Instead of trying to
grab the prize itself,

you just use the claw
like a wrecking ball

to knock it into the hole.

Right now,
it's looking like rat

'cause he's the closest
to the chute.

-Yeah.
-Stuffed rats are cute.

Hi, buddy.

Here we go.

You can maybe go back
just a hair more,

maybe, yeah.

Forward more.

Little bit more,
little bit more.

-All right.
-Okay, let's see.

Here comes that knock.

Ooh!
Ahh.

Hey, you know what,
Brooke?

That reminds me
of our second hack.

It's not hulking out,
it's not 'roid rage,

it's the tilt.

Tilting the machine isn't
about moving the prizes.

It's actually about getting
more slack on the line.

If you want to get something
deep down,

you go for the tilt.

And how safe is it?

Not really safe at all.
I don't advise it. Great.

There should be a giant
disclaimer on the screen. Great.

Here comes the tilt.

All right,
I'm gonna load the money.

I used to do this with cop cars
after Lakers games.

How's it look over there?
Should I go back a little more?

Heavy, it looks heavy,
Brooke.

So, this hack
should give Brooke

some extra slack on the wire
as the claw goes down.

All right, now give it
a little shimmy.

Little back
and forth, maybe.

Okay, all right.

This seems less like a hack
and more like a felony.

All right,
keep it where it is.

Yep. This is great
for the shoulders,

bad for everything else.

Oh, my god.

I'll just buy you
a [bleep] kangaroo.

-Kev, you okay?
-Terrible hack.

Hopefully this one's
a little better.

It's called
beating the mirror.

Kevin: So, you want to use
multiple angles

instead of trusting
the mirror in the back.

It's there to fool you,
mess with your depth perception.

Makes the actual cage
seem larger than it is.

And if you're kind
of a dumb-dumb

and get distracted
by your own reflection,

well, there ya go.

Let's start by
choosing our target.

Brooke: Panda and rat
are looking good.

Kevin: All right, I'm going
with your advice.

I'm going panda.

Usually -- oh, there I am,
distracted again.

What's up, handsome?
Oh, not much.

Just making television.
Huh?

Yep? Sorry.
-Panda!

Thank you.
Got it.

Brooke needs a panda.

Okay, quarter's in.

I'm gonna kind of guess
my forward and back.

Okay.

Kevin: I'm not going to
just trust this mirror.

I'm gonna check
every angle I can.

Take a peek.

Oh, I'm actually going to go
back a little bit more.

Yeah, you can even
look this way.

Oh, yeah, very clear.

Back a little bit more...

Hovering over...

Oh, kev!

Come on, baby!

Oh!

Wow!

Sweet panda victory.

You wanted it,
and I won it.

-Aw.
-Here you go, Brooke.

Yeah,
I want you to have it.

How'd you know
I was lonely?

It's pretty obvious,
Brooke.

Kevin: Close your laptop

and throw your smartphone
down a well.

Brooke: We're bringing the
Internet's craziest hackers

to your TV.

It's worldwide hacks.

Welcome
to worldwide hacks,

your number-one source
for crap

we can't believe exists.

This week's hack comes to us
from a very hungry man

in Brooklyn, New York.

Let's all go ahead
and look away together.

Spaghetti and meatballs,
lady and the ramp style.

Joining us now,
professional eater

and treadmill enthusiast,
crazy legs Conti.

How are you, crazy legs?
-I am hungry and focused.

So, crazy legs,
how long have you been

a professional eater?

I have been on the
major-league eating circuit

for 15 years.

When did the treadmill

become a part of
your training arsenal?

Well, I take my lead

from a lot of great
competitive eaters,

and years ago in Japan,

takeru kobayashi
actually ate against

a Sushi-making machine.

So, I wanted to implement it
in my own life.

And I thought --
I've never run on a treadmill.

I'd fall off,
I'd focus on the TV,

I'd see a girl in spandex,
it's gone wrong every time.

So I thought, "I want to beat
that machine at my game."

So, I want to be clear.

This is a hack
for competitive eaters.

Well, this is a hack

for anybody
who needs to save time

in their daily routine.

What else is good
at the gym?

Could I do, like,
spin class and eating?

That just says to me,
"donuts."

You could hang them
right on the handlebars.

-Some hoagie rows?
-Rowing, yeah.

-Doing some hoagie rows?
-Yeah, there it is.

Always got room
for dessert.

And are you spraying
some lysol

and letting the conveyer
go around a few times?

How clean is that belt,
crazy legs?

You know,
I'm not a germaphobe.

I honestly believe we live
in a world where --

I feel like you're
gonna tell me

that you didn't clean it,
crazy legs.

The 5-second rule --

five seconds, you can eat
a lot of food.

So no, that was an
incredibly unclean treadmill

until after
I was done eating,

because, honestly,

no one wants to jog
on a cupcake skid Mark.

Crazy legs, man,
you are hilarious.

I love your videos.

Thank you
for taking the time

and sharing
your hack with us.

Absolutely,
thank you, guys.

Bye.

Brooke: Hold on
to your hacks, people.

Up next, we use a bungee cord
for all the wrong reasons,

when the hack Springs back.

Narrator:
The hack mvp award --

a heisman for the household.

Today we salute an item

that's in the middle of every
championship celebration --

the bungee cord.

Uniform pants looser than usual?

Just attach the hook
to your belt loop

and run the cord
in a slant route

past the shoulder
and into the back field.

Boom, you just hacked yourself

a pair of suspenders
with a slick crossover move.

Need to throw a monster block
on your kitchen cabinets?

Watch as bungee cord
Bobs and weaves

between the doorknobs to create
an impenetrable defense.

This weekend warrior is making
a fast break for the door

when a busted bag strap
causes her to fumble.

Luckily, bungee cord
is there for the recovery.

Tic tac toe,
she's good to go.

Need a workout, but don't have
time to hit the weight room?

Hook the ends of a bungee cord

together to make
a resistance-training band.

Someone call a vet,
because those pythons are sick.

Unwind and have some fun
with our mvp in the backyard.

Feed two bungee cords
through an old sock,

hook the ends to two stakes,
and then go long.

You've just made yourself
a home-made sling shot.

Ooh, just a bit outside.

Why don't you
try it again?

Bull's-eye.

Congratulations, bungee.

You've struck a cord in the
hearts of hackers everywhere.

And for that, we appoint
you this week's hack mvp.

-Bungee!
-Bungee!

Do want a third attempt
at this, or no,

you want a third hack?

No, I don't.
It's not gonna work for me.

It might work for
someone else, not for me.

-So, you're done.
-I have other skills,

they're just never featured
on this show.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0