All language subtitles for Hack My Life s02e19 Hack Nanny Saves the Day.eng

[ Screams ]

Kevin: A parent's nightmare.

Out of control kids wreaking
havoc on the household.

Evelyn!

They need help.
No!

And there's only
one person to call.

Hack nanny.

In tonight's episode, hack nanny
faces her toughest mess yet.

Oh, my goodness,
what are you doing?

Building a fort.

That's not a fort.

[ Both scream ]

My darling cherub,
your fort is weak.

This is how you make
a real fortress.

With a box fan
and a duvet cover.

There, we've secured
the edges of our sheet,

our fan is in place.

Now we turn it on.

[Bleep]

Get in here.

So fun! So fun! So fun!

Like a big delicious
marshmallow.

[ Laughing ]

Kevin: Hack nanny --
she'll blow your kids away.

Tonight on "hack my life"...

It's alive!

Swing, batter, batter!

Find out how we
hacked a leaf blower

to throw high heat.

Oh!

Kevin: Sayau revoir
to your French press.

Hot coffee, people!
Come get it!

Because we've got a hack to
class up your cheap cup of Joe.

Tastes like
mnh-mnh to you.

Yeah.
[ Laughs ]

Brooke: Plus...
Ooh.

...ways to turn your bedroom
into a day spa

for cents on the dollar.

Kevin: And the coolest hacks
for chilling hot soup.

This is how Mariah Carey
eats soup.

Brooke:
Open up and say "ahh."

Are you
proud of me now, papa?

This is "hack my life."

Coffee's one of the best ways
to start your day,

but feeding the daily habit
can get really expensive.

Well, today we're gonna see
if customers can taste

the difference between
our hacked brew

and a fancy cup of Joe.

This is spot the hack.

So, to test this hack, we're
gonna make two pots of Joe.

In one, we're gonna use
the finest, most freshly ground

gourmet beans, and in the other,
we're gonna use

cheap pre-ground coffee.

To make that gross
pre-ground coffee

into something
more drinkable,

we're going to hack with eggs,
shells and all.

When we're done,
we're gonna invite people

to come on up,
sample each coffee,

and see if they
can spot the hack.

I like this when we make people
drink things from random cups.

Any time it's not me.

We're gonna crack the egg
into the coffee grounds

and leave the shells.

This feels very wrong,
but it's fun.

What's happening here
is that

there's proteins
in this egg, right,

and it's gonna bind to
the acidic portions

of this coffee and it's gonna
bring that acidity down.

Next, pour the mixture
into one cup of water

and boil for five minutes.

Then we want to add
one cup of cold water

to our concoction over here.

The cold water's gonna help
push some of the egg shells

and the grounds
to the bottom of the pot.

After that,
just strain and serve.

So, here we go.

That is
an interesting bouquet.

Unforgettable.

Yeah.

Hacked coffee!
Step right up!

Hacked coffee!

Hackuccino!
De-hack!

Hacked coffee, people!
Come get it!

Hi.
How you guys doing?

Can we interest you
in some free coffee today?

Fancy a cup of Joe?

You guys coffee drinkers?

-A little bit, yeah.
-Yeah.

We got two different brews.

We have one hacked cup of coffee
and a regular cup of coffee.

Which one do you want
to start with?

Yellow.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

It tastes like coffee.
Okay.

It tastes like the morning.

Oh.

You're kind of making
sour faces drinking that one.

Oh, two sour faces.

Yeah, what's going on?

-It's bitter.
-Yeah. Really bitter.

Why don't you ladies
step into the blue.

Oh.

Strong opinion
right out of the gate.

Not liking the blue.

-No.
-Mm.

Tastes like
mnh-mnh to you.

Yeah.
[ Laughter ]

I'd say this one's
less bitter.

The blue kind of tastes like
vanilla to me.

Which one do you think
is our hacked cup of coffee

and which one do you think

is the high-end,
fancy artisanal coffee?

I feel like
yellow was hacked.

I think
the yellow was hacked.

Okay.
What about you?

I'm gonna have to go with
yellow.

I think yellow is hacked.
Yeah.

That one was hacked.

-The yellow is the hacked.
-Yep.

And the blue
is fancy expensive.

Money's on blue.

Oh, you're putting money
on the blue?

How much will we bet on it?
'Cause you seem very confident.

-I bet $1.
-$1. Okay.

That's about
what the blue coffee was worth,

because that was our hack.

Oh, my god!

That's the hacked coffee?
Oh, wow.

Do you have any idea
what we did to the hacked coffee

to make it taste different?

Maybe vanilla extract?

Vanilla's an interesting flavor
profile to get from an egg.

Oh.

-That's the hack.
-Oh, darn.

I'm sort of surprised that
nobody could spot this hack.

I thought there was
a clear difference.

Well, if you're feeling
adventurous

and you want to spice up
your cup of Joe,

I guess reach for an egg and see
if you can spot the hack.

Ahh.

[ Crash ]

Ugh.
We've all been there.

You go to re-heat
your leftover pizza

in the microwave,
and it turns into a soggy mess.

Today I've got a hack
that will breathe some life

back into your stale slice.

I'm about to give you guys
a "pizza" my mind.

-Ahh!
-Huh?

Oh, I'm fired?

All you need to give
this old pizza a makeover

is any sort of hot press.

I'm gonna use a waffle iron

and make myself some
pizza pockets, 'cause I classy.

I'm gonna take this slice,
fold it over,

and then trim off the excess.

You can feed this to
a neighborhood feral cat.

Now, if you really want to
bring this pizza pocket to life,

you should stuff it
full of toppings.

Ooh!
I have some leftover mozzarella sticks

and no shame, so let's do that.

Ahh!

If you don't want
your pizza to be dry,

you can use
your leftover marinara sauce

from your mozzarella sticks.

Things are getting saucy.

It's kind of like
a calzone, a pocket.

Depressed person food,
you know what I'm saying?

So, I've got my delicious little
pocket of goodness formed.

Now you put it
on our waffle iron.

Mommy will be right out here,
buddy.

[ Pizza sizzling ]

I know it hurts,
but it's for the best?

Guys, do you hear that?

That's the sound
of clogged arteries.

Mmm.
[ Canned laughter ]

Yeah, this is pretty much
idiot proof.

Let's eat it.

Yep.

This is how you want
to get fat, trust me.

This is the way to do it.

Don't ever put your pizza
in the microwave again.

This tastes awesome.

It's crispy, it's got marinara
on it, the cheese is re-melted.

Guys, it's not delivery.

It's a hack.

Yeah!

Up next, feel the breeze.

Little leaguers take their hacks

against a hacked
pitching machine.

That's a home run!

Kevin: And how to save serious
dough on your next massage.

There's more to come.

Hacks for a spa day staycation
when we return.

They say that it takes 10,000
hours to get good at anything.

Well, that's
a whole lot of balls

if you're trying
to be a major leaguer.

So, what are you supposed to do
if you want to be a big shot

but you can't afford
a pitching machine?

You got to hack one
with one of these.

This is hack or wack.

To help me with today's
hack or wack,

I'm joined by Mike Stein.

He's the coach
of the furious squirrels!

Whoo-hoo.

How often do you guys
do batting practice?

At least twice a week.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

How many pitches
are you throwing?

Probably at least 200.

Well, your arm is in luck,
because we're gonna

hack this leaf blower
into a pitching machine.

First thing I'm gonna do --
a little t-joint here.

Okay.
Put it on to our leaf blower.

I want to take one of our pipes,
pop it in the front.

That is now the muzzle
of this wiffle gun.

And our loader
is right there.

The squirrel's got
a secret weapon now, huh?

Let's meet those squirrels!

[ Cheers and applause ]

The furious squirrels!

You're kaidin.
Yeah.

I'm Skylar.
Skylar.

Nathan.
Nathan.

Nice to meet you guys.
I'm Kevin pereira.

I know, you're starstruck.
I get it. It happens a lot.

Where's Brooke?

Let's play ball!

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

Here we go.

[ Leaf blower blowing ]

Three!

Two!

One!

Oh!

What?! Glorious!

Oh!

Boom!

Come on now.

Whoo!

Oh!

Oh!

That's a home run!

Let's get down
to the important business here.

We have to find out,

was my leaf blower
pitching machine hack or wack?

Nathan, we're gonna
start with you.

Hack.
Hack? Because?

It's the best thing ever.

Absolutely right, Nathan.

Skylar?

Wack.

[ Gasps ]
What?!

I mean, most of them,
we didn't hit.

And I would probably blame it
on your leaf blower.

I would, too.
That's a great excuse.

It's gonna get you
far in this world.

Blame it on everybody else.

Kaidin, you tell me.

Leaf blower pitching machine,
is it hack or wack?

Hack.

I love it.

Leaf blower pitching machine --
it's totally a hack.

Uh, any openings on the team?

Well, we didn't actually
see you bat.

[ Scoffs ]
I can swing, Mike.

Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Brooke: This is Bob.

He may not look like much,
but back in the day,

Bob had some big dumb dreams
which didn't quite work out.

Now Bob's a broke ass,

and he needs every hack
in the book to survive.

This is...

$5 a month on toilet paper?

That's excessive.

Our neighbors throw away tons
of perfectly good newspaper.

You look stressed.

You know what you need?

A day of unwinding
at a fancy spa.

Really?

Oh, Bob, that would be
fantastic.

Whoa, what the [bleep] Bob?

A spa day means
expensive massages,

costly mani-pedis,
and those mud baths

with cucumbers on your eyes
ain't cheap, pal.

They charge you
for the cucumbers, too?

Yeah, it's gonna cost you
at least $200.

That's over twice
what you've got in the bank.

When do we go?

We're already there.

Suave, Bob.

Real suave.

Okay, if you're gonna pull off
this at-home health spa thing,

your lady will need
the appropriate attire.

Throw a bathrobe in the washer
with some white vinegar,

then drop a couple tennis balls
in the dryer.

One fluff cycle later,

that ragged robe
is a super soft spa-grade wrap.

For me?

To borrow.

Aww, such a generous lover.

Now that your ever-patient
partner has settled in...

Ooh.

...let's cover up
the hold sweaty sock smell

permeating
your broke-ass bedroom.

By heating up some water
and lavender oil

in an old thrift-store mug,

slobby Bobby hacks
an aroma therapy diffuser

for cents on the dollar.

[ Sighs ]

All right. What do you say
we get this massage rolling?

Wow, that's literal,
but applying a rolling pin

to tense muscles
is certainly one way

to knead out pesky knots.

Who needs to shell out big bucks
for massage tools,

or pay a strapping
six-foot-tall Swedish masseuse

named sven $150 an hour

to put his hands
all over your girlfriend?

Not me, that's who.

Of course no spa day is complete
without a pedicure,

but something tells me
you're not the type

to foot the bill
for that, are you, Bob?

That's just what the "big foot"
industry wants you to do.

To fight back against big foot,
Bob hacks a minty foot bath

by combining mouthwash
and vinegar in a sandwich bag.

Then for some extra exfoliation,
he rubs a lemon and coarse salt.

Plus I can even use it
to scrub the dirty dishes.

But I won't.

[ Whispering ] I will.

Got to give you
some credit, Bob.

Your broke-ass beauty hacks
actually worked.

This spa day only cost you
about 20 bucks.

How was everything?

It was great.

But don't use those lemons
to scrub the dirty dishes.

Ugh, seriously, don't.

You'll get athlete's mouth.

Kevin:
Prepare to be bowled over.

Okay!

Up next, we test your hacks for
cooling off piping-hot soup.

Ay-ay-ay!

Brooke: And never leave
your couch again.

Oh, sweet nectar
of the gods!

A hack master returns
for his juiciest hack yet.

Kevin:
Transportable timepiece.

Ticking reminder
that life is finite.

Let's turn back the clock
on this...

Clock makers invent
a timepiece small enough

to fit in the pocket
of a man's waistcoat.

Smell thee later, sundial.

There it stays until...

British troops use watches
to synchronize attacks,

but find they lose
valuable seconds

digging through their pockets.

Hands up!

To save time, soldiers begin
lashing watches to their wrists.

Crap.
I'm late for work.

[ Cannons fire ]

Flash forward 30 years
to another war!

English jewelers start
selling trench watches

with leather straps
already attached

for officers to wear in combat.

Time's up for you,
you hun bastard.

[ Grunts ]

Wristwatches grow in popularity

over decades
until disaster strikes!

Motorola releases
the first commercial cellphone.

Before long, everyone once again
has a clock in their pocket.

So, here's to you, wristwatch.

You may be nothing more than
a fashion accessory today,

but perhaps your time
will come again.

Until then,
you remain a hack from history.

Mmm.

Kev, kev, kev, kev, no.

You're gonna burn
the [bleep] out of your mouth.

Don't eat that.

Brooke, the soup is hot
and delicious,

and waiting for it
to cool down feels like torture,

so I'm gonna have a bite.

Don't do it!

Because we've got some hacks
for cooling down hot soup faster

in today's
tumblr's hack mail.

Hack number one comes to us
from Tony in Philadelphia.

Tony is right about the whole
metal being a conductor thing.

But my question is
for a big bowl like this,

what is one spoon
capable of?

I think
we need to find out.

Together:
Three, two, one.

Okay, you've gone for the dip,
but I'm gonna go for

a bit of a stir,
because I want the metal

to try to touch every ounce
of soup in this bowl.

Okay, for science.

Okay.

Okay!

Still too hot.

Yeah, way too hot.

So, let's move it on.

Our next hack comes to us
from Carol in Reno, Nevada.

That belongs
in the "shark tank."

[ Laughs ]
That's brilliant.

Here they be.

[ Squeals ]
They're tiny umbrellas.

Look at them.
Cute!

So, I'm just gonna
grab one here.

Soupy.
I like it.

Rather than eat the hack, can we
use it to cool down the soup?

Can we try?

All right, let's do a little
dunky-doo, shall we?

That is melting
that sicle down.

Okay.

Yep, mine's going down
pretty fast.

Time for
the moment of truth.

Bon appétit.

Bon appétit.

Yeah.
Still warm.

Not scalding.

That's a perfect
temperature.

A very bold,
intense-flavored soup

because we didn't
water it down.

If you don't have the Patience
to wait 30 or 40 seconds

for soup to cool down,
you can take 3 to 4 hours

and just freeze a little bit
of that soup beforehand

and you're set.

Our third and final hack comes
to us from Jordan in tampa.

Prepare to be blown away.

Oh, boy.

Are you at all scared
of splatter?

Very. Because instead
of just burning my mouth,

I'll burn my entire face.

Okay, uh, I don't want
you to do this.

I feel like you're
just gonna get --

look at how glamorous
this hack would be.

This is how Mariah Carey
eats soup.

Ay-ay-ay!

My contact.

Don't put that
on my face.

Sorry.

I, too, have a fan.

I'm just going to hold it here
and cool off my soup.

If I can get
them in there.

Ooh.
I can already tell.

It's cooling my lips before
I even touch the soup.

Ooh, how refreshing.

It didn't burn my face,
but it is loud.

Hard to take a conference call
and eat soup,

and I think it could be
a shocking hazard.

I actually think my hack
is a little too effective.

You got cold soup now?

Cold soup.

All right,
let's run this down.

For our first hack,
we used a metal spoon.

Once that spoon cools down
a single bite of soup,

bit is now the same temperature
as the soup,

and therefore, I got to say
that one's kind of a pass.

Speaking of another pass.

I don't want to carry around
a box fan.

I don't think
you should need accessories

to have chicken noodle
in this life.

I just don't.

Our third and final hack
was the soupsicle.

I mean, out of left field.

They do take
a minute of preparation,

but if you go through that work,
you are awarded

with a hack that
cools down your soup,

does not dilute the taste,

and that's why we have got
to give it our...

Together:
Hack seal of approval!

If you'd like to submit an idea,
you can go to

hackmylifetrutv.tumblr.com
and submit your idea today.

Kev, I feel sexy.

Yeah.
Now it's working.

Yeah?
On fleek?

It actually blew some soup
in your hair, too.

Oh.

Great.

Kevin: We got one hack left,

and it's good
to the last drop, people.

This is beverage foreplay,
Jason.

When we return,
how to get an ice-cold beverage

at the push of a button.

We live in an on-demand world.

At the push of a button,
you can get music or movies.

And now thanks to master hacker
Jason poel Smith,

you can get ice-cold beverages.

Mm. Thanks, Jason.

This is hack masters.

So, thank you for joining us
again today.

What are we making?

We're making a soda fountain
out of a refrigerator

and some random stuff
in your house.

Sounds like [bleep] to me,
Jason, but all right.

So, we've got some
aquarium air tubing,

we've got an aquarium air pump,
some connector caps,

and a switch.

So, first you need to hook up
your switch to your air pump

using a pair of twist-on
insulated connector caps.

So, just
twist these together.

So, then you can just
press the button.

The air pump
is starting to run.

It's pushing air out
the little tube right there.

So, the next step is we modify
the orange juice can.

But this can be pretty much
any beverage, right?

It can be anything
that has a nice sealed top.

Use some gravy.

That might not work so well,
but...

So, you take the lid and then
you drill two small holes

in the top
of your juice can.

You want it to be
the same diameter as your tubing

so that when you slide it in,
it makes a nice, tight fit,

and you want one of the hoses
to be just barely inside,

and then you want
the other one to go

to the bottom
of the juice can.

And then tightly
close the lid.

All right,
the tubes are in,

but the drink is already
getting room temp, Jason.

How do we get it into the fridge
and get beverage out of it?

You put it into the fridge.

You can drill through a side
of the refrigerator

and stick the hose
through that,

or if you're not quite so brave,
you can just have it

going out through
the side of the door.

You want to test it out?

Absolutely. Push the button.
Let's try it out.

Moment of truth.

[ Pump whirring ]
I hear the pump.

I'm getting
so excited right now.

This is beverage foreplay,
Jason.

Oh, sweet nectar
of the gods!

Oh!

All right.

You can get, like,
a multiple pump version.

It would allow you to have
multiple drinks.

Yeah, you could make
a screwdriver

with some orange juice
and vodka.

Jason,
you are a master hacker.

You have to go down
like two or three inches.

Like, squat.

Don't you tell me how to
get juice from a hose.

You can leave me
with your tubes.

Are you proud of me now, papa?

Are you proud of me now?

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