All language subtitles for Hack My Life s02e14 Game the System.eng

Announcer: Tonight
on "hacks del corazon"...

Secrets will be spilled.

You slept with my husband.

[ Gasps ]

You've ruined my dress!

Oh, I'll fix it --
for good.

Because baking soda removes
red-wine stains.

Ooh!

Ahh. Oh.

[ Grunts ]

[ Gasps ]

Kevin:
Tonight on "hack my life," look out below!

A hack master shows you how
to get medieval on your trash.

-Whoo!
-Oh, geez!

Brooke:
Plus, movie theater hacks so good they'll go viral.

Kevin: Tricks to game the system
and save big on a used car.

[ Horn honks ]
People respond to bitches.

Bitches get stuff.

Brooke:
And cancel that Brazilian...

[ Screaming ]
-Ohh!

Brooke:
...Because we've got a hack for that.

Kevin: Your knife
is about to get hacked.

Oh!

This is "hack my life."

There is nothing cozier than a
nice, thick grandpa sweater,

however the problem
with such high fashion -- pills.

Eugh. So today we're putting
pill-pulling hacks to the test

in this metropcs hack vs. Hack.

You're goin' down.

Ah, eat my sweater.

Okay. All right.

I'm joined by Bruce and Dennis,
two fashionistas

who make old-school sweaters
look timeless.

Today we've got two solid hacks

for puling lint pills
off of sweaters --

a pumice stone and a razor.

Ah, grandma's method.

Gram-gram used the razor?

Well, it wouldn't be
one of these.

It was the old straight edge
in her day. Oh, okay.

Now, the pumice stone --
similar to the razor.

Take grandma's razor.

Take it, brother.

Well, thank you, Bruce.

Now, if he cuts the sweater,
he's disqualified.

You need to be quick
and delicate.

I will be.

Ask my wife.

All right, here's how this
hack vs. Hack is going down.

I've got two lovely bowls.

Going to remove as many pills
as you can,

place them in your bowls,
and when the 60 seconds is up,

we'll see who's the winner.

Any last words?

Let the games begin.

You are so dead.

Please don't hurt me.
Please don't hurt me.

Hack!

[Air horn blows

ooh! Ohhhhh!

Getting real grabby.

Oh, I kind of like it.

Ah, this is nice.

This is very nice.
-Oh, this pumice.

A lot of it's sticking to the
stone, but I think it's working.

I think
we might have something.

I think grandma knew exactly
what she was taking about. Yeah,

Bruce,
what's your technique here?

Brute force.
Well, with a delicate touch.

Look at that -- one pass.

Do you think
you're removing pills

or do you think
you're taking off

entire portions
of my sweater?

I don't care, man.
This is for the big time, here.

Good.
This is doing good.

Watch out, Bruce.

I hate to say it -- this side
is almost already De-pilled.

Okay, gentlemen.
There's five seconds.

Four...three...two...one!

That's it! Time's up!

Whoo!

Real close.

Dennis, we're gonna start
with your bowl.

Here we go.

Looks like 0.18 grams.

Not bad at all.
-Not bad. Thank you.

Kevin: Bruce, do you think
there's more than 0.18 grams

worth of sweater material
in your bowl?

Yes.

Here we go.

Here's the bowl.

0.36 grams!
-Aww.

Kevin: Bruce,
you've got it all figured out.

Pumice wins this hack vs. Hack.

There you have it, folks.

If you got pills
popping out of your sweater,

reach for the pumice.

That's the smart choice.

You got some sweater
in there now.

I'm just gonna.

-[ Laughs ]
-Okay, great.

[ Razor buzzes ]

[ Sighs ]

You say to-may-to,
I say po-tah-to.

No matter how you slice it,
this knife is not gonna cut it.

Oh!
[ Knife clanks ]

All right, buddy.

Well, you're in luck, 'cause
today we're testing out hacks

to sharpen dull knives
in tumblr's hack mail.

We're about to try putting
the edge back on three blades.

Yes, the knife that can actually
cut through a tomato

without making a squishy,
disgusting, horrible mess

will win our coveted...

Hack seal of approval.
Hack seal of approval.

Our first hack comes to us from
John in eastpointe, Michigan.

He says...

Aww. Best dad ever.

Yeah, well,
I'm not in his life anymore,

so I don't know
if it still holds.

Well, we can use it
to sharpen a knife.

Got the mug.

-Great.
-Here we go.

Starting from the back
of the knife.

Nice, long, even strokes.

Even strokes, yep.

I'm getting a feel
that it's a little gritty.

It's getting there.
-Hmm.

[ Scary music plays ]

Okay. I think you did enough,
and we can test it.

This is when the tomato
usually gets massacred.

Oh, you're kind of having
to saw into it.

-Yeah.
-Oh, I see it.

It goes.

Kind of making a mess,
though.

Okay.

So,
I got a pretty clean slice,

but it could be easier
than that.

Hack number 2 comes to us from
Danny in Tacoma, Washington.

Here. You want to try?
-Sure. I'll give it a whirl.

I can see that
it is getting into the paper,

and I can feel it giving it that
resistance all the way across.

I feel like you're making
some progress there. Yeah.

I mean, I definitely worked
through some stuff emotionally.

I don't know about the knife,
though.

Oh, there it goes.

Juiced a little bit, but...

Ooh, that's a nice slice.

It almost disappears when
I turn it sideways, Brooke.

That's the crazy thing
about it.

This is what I want
my summer body to look like.

[ Chuckles ]

Our last hack comes to us

from Bobby ray
in queensland, Georgia.

[ Southern accent ]
Ah, Bobby ray.

[ Southern accent ]
Bobby ray writes...

[ Normal voice ]
Oh, it's a delightful sound and feel.

[ Normal voice ]
Okay. I mean, there's really only one way to find out.

-I mean, look. Ugh!
-Oh, you're doing the squish?

-It's all coming out. Oh, no.
-You're mutilating my sandwich!

-He's got a bleeder.
-My perfect sandwich.

Oh, Bobby ray!

Classic tomato [bleep] up.

I don't trust it.

Ah!

-So, let's review these hacks.
-All right.

[ Chuckling ]
Starting with the worst.

[ Chuckling ]
Aluminum foil.

It was ineffective,
and, actually,

I would say it did more damage
than good.

Our second best hack --

I think I'm gonna give it
to the coffee mug.

Yes. You know,
it improved the knife.

Still not the best, though.

If you can get your hands
on some fine-grit sandpaper --

I mean, look at that.
That is hack perfection.

You can get on my sandwich
anytime.

You know what I'm saying?

Oookay, getting a little sexual
with produce.

-I'm just hungry.
-Oh, I get it.

So, I guess all we can say
is congratulations, Danny.

You're sandpaper sharpening hack
gets our...

-Hack seal of approval.
-Hack seal of approval.

Well done, sir.

And to everyone watching,

if you want to see your hacks on
the show, it is, oh, so simple.

Go to...

And send us your hacks
today.

Or tomorrow.
There's really no rush.

Kevin: There's more
cutting-edge hacks to come.

[ Screams ]

Up next, we drop more hot wax

than a '70s disc jockey
in spot the hack.

Look at all this
DNA evidence.

Brooke:
And blockbuster hacks for improving your next movie night,

when the hacks strike back.

Kevin:
Sometimes, ordinary people do extraordinary things

all in the name of hacking.

People like Dave,

who's taking his crush, luisa,
on a movie date.

If Dave wants their romance
to have a Hollywood ending,

he'll have to show her
that he's a true hack hero.

First up,
the concessions stand.

But what kind of villain
charges that much for candy?

Dave's not buying into
that racket.

He unzips his jacket
to reveal his secret identity

as a smuggler
of outside candy.

"Just a small popcorn."

And what's popcorn
without butter?

It doesn't take X-ray vision to
see that greasy, golden goodness

isn't reaching the kernels
at the bottom,

which is why Dave hacks a straw
into a butter pipeline.

Watch as he ensures
hot oil penetrates

even the deepest nooks
of the bucket.

That's how you melt her heart,
Dave.

Time to take their seats,

and time for Dave to sweep luisa
off her feet.

He ties his jacket
around the seat in front of her

to create a foot sling.

[ Laughter ]
But what's this?

Unruly patrons
burst into the theater

just as luisa
is getting comfortable,

so Dave reaches into
his utility belt

and pulls out medical masks.

Nothing like faking an
infectious disease [coughs]

To keep your date quarantined
form obnoxious people.

At last, it's show time.

Luisa leans in and whispers,

"this popcorn is making me
thirsty."

Good thing Dave knows what
beverage is kryptonite

to parched mouths -- wine.

Dave used his super strength

to rip the bladder
out of a box of wine,

which he easily concealed
under his jacket.

The combination of brains
and brawn

gets luisa to let her hair down.

And great Caesar's ghost!

She's a candy smuggler, too.

What a dynamic duo.

Hack on, you hack heroes.

According to some Hollywood
beauty standards,

hairless is hot.

Ah-ha-ho!

But who wants to pay top dollar
for smooth skin. Am I right?

I know I don't, which is why
we're showing you

how to hack your hair removal
with sugar

in today's spot the wax.

-[ Whispering ] Spot the hack.
-Spot the hack.

Today's spot the hack.
-Okay. Lay down. Shhh.

This is Lily Nguyen.

Now, she's the manager
of the modern pamper salon,

and today she's gonna help us
wax some customers,

and we're gonna see
if they can tell the difference

between her wax
and our hacked version.

Brooke:
Making our hacked wax is easy.

Combine 1 cup of sugar,
2 tablespoons of lemon juice,

and 2 tablespoons of water.

Bring to a boil
while stirring constantly.

Once your wax reaches
the consistency of honey,

let it cool for 15 minutes,
and then you're good to go.

What do you say we bring out
our first victim?

-Sure.
-Guest.

G-Guest --
cust-- customer person.

-Hello, hello.
-Hey, guys.

-Hi, guys.
-Hey.

Ladies, thank you for joining us
at our salon.

Do you always seek out
a professional

when it comes to waxing?

I have never tried to wax
at home.

[ Chuckling ] I think that
that would be a disaster.

I had, like,
a weird night,

where, like,
liquor and nair got involved,

but no, like,
formal waxing experience.

And are you allergic
to anything

like kerosene
or antifreeze or...

Nope?
Okay, good.

Here's how
this is gonna work.

We've got two waxes.

One is the real stuff, and
the other we hacked together.

So you're job is to figure out
which is which.

This is the fun part.

[ Yelps ]
[ Chuckling ] Oh.

A bit of a yelp there.

Yeah, I felt like it didn't
really grab the hair totally.

-Ooh.
-Ohh.

Ah!

-Ooh!
-Oh!

Look at all this
DNA evidence.

Not as bad as I expected.

Let's move on to wax b.

This one feels a tad hotter.

Woman: It feels a little, like,
stickier.

[ Yelps ]

Okay. Similar yelp.

The pull was a little different.
It's not as smooth.

Gah-ya-yoza.

-Did you say "gyoza"?
-[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

A steamed gah-ya-yoza.

-[ Laughs ]
-Okay, hold on now.

This seems
a little thicker.

-Say your prayers.
-Hold on. Give him the stick.

Ow!
That was a lot worse.

All right, go ahead
and remove your blindfolds,

and let's see
how these waxes did.

Brooke: Oh, wow.

-Oh, man.
"Oh, wow" is right.

"A"..."b."

Man: A looks great.

-This is "a."
-Okay. Yeah?

That's clear field.

The other looks like,
maybe like a gorilla attack.

They both look
pretty good.

Which wax do you think
was the hack?

Woman: This arm
definitely looks better.

This one
looks like a train wreck.

All right. So...

-Wax "a."
-Wax a was the hack.

Based off of how much hair
came off,

I think that "a"
is the hacked wax.

"A" looked great,
and then "b" is the hack.

Does it look the same?

This one
actually feels smoother.

Yeah. I think "a" is real.
"B" is the hack.

I think "a" is the hack,
and I think "b" is the real wax.

Our hacked wax was,
in fact, wax...

[ Suspenseful music builds ]

-..."b."
-"b!"

-Ohh.
-See? I have more experience.

Really?

I feel like the hacked wax
worked better.

Kevin: Maybe on the arms,

but the sugar wax definitely
struggled on coarser hair.

We put sugar and lemon juice
on your back

and then ripped
a bunch of hair out.

-All right!
-Totally.

You sound, like,
excited for that.

I am, but it's like,
it still hurts.

I feel like our hacked wax
was actually successful.

If you've got, like, a dense,
coarse, thick jungle...

-Mm-hmm.
-...See a pro.

Please, yeah. But, like, fine
arm hair -- use the hacked wax.

It works really,
really well.

Brooke: Up next,
Kevin's emasculation continues.

You are maybe not as much of a
man as you could be right now.

Hacks to game
the used-car industry...

[ Horn honks ]
...When we return.

[ Screams ]

Announcer:
A parent's nightmare --

out-of-control kids wreaking
havoc on the household.

Evelyn!

-They need help...
-No!

...and there's only one person
to call -- hack nanny.

Mikey, eat your dinner.

[Bleep]

Maybe we just give up.

-Never surrender.
-[ Gasps ]

Not to the tot.

Who are you?

Hack nanny.

Pleased to meet you.

Ugh, it's the same fight every
night around the dinner table.

Well, then, maybe we change
the dinner table.

[ Clatter ]

Huh.

I've never done that before.

[ Chuckling ] That went rather
better than expected.

Picnic!

I can't believe it.

He's eating everything!

Children love novelty.

Sometimes all it takes
is a little change of scenery

to reignite the appetite.

Geez, I'm starving.

Announcer:
Hack nanny -- fixing your family is as easy as pie.

Buying a used car
is like playing the lottery.

Their's a chance
you could get the prize,

but more than likely,
you're going home a big loser.

True, but today, we are going to
attempt to change all of that.

This is gaming the system.

It's no surprise that only
33% of people who buy a used car

actually feel like
they got a good deal.

Right. But according to the
research, a successful haggler,

they can save 10% to 15% off the
advertised price of a used car.

To see if this is true,

Kevin and I are going undercover
at a car dealership.

That's right, bvp.

We're teaming up for
a good cop/bad cop routine.

That's the car right there.

Oh, yeah. That's the one.
That's the one.

Kevin will hack the role
of an over-eager buyer,

while I'll be dropping
the bad-cop hammer

on our unsuspecting
salesman.

Now, let's see
if we can hack our way

to saving big bucks
on a car.

$5,400 is crazy.

It's like a glorified
golf cart.

Are you starting the bad-cop
thing or are you serious?

'Cause I thought this was
the car that we were gonna get.

Well, no, no.
It is. It is.

Oh, so this is
the bad-cop thing?

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-Okay. Okay. Okay.

Hey.
How you doing today?

Hey. How are you?

Ah, I see you guys
looking at the smart car.

-Indeed.
-2008.

I noticed you really like
this bad boy.

-I do.
-And you like it.

Well, at this price,
absolutely not.

We want to keep looking.
You know, what are you looking at, your price range?

Well, we'll say
this is sort of close to it,

but, I mean, I'd just rather
look at the cars

than talk money just yet.

I'll let you know
when we get warm.

So, let --
let's do this, okay?

I can tell you're not sold.

I can tell that you're dying
to get inside, so...

-Absolutely.
-...Just hop in real quick.

-All right.
-Let's do that, sweetheart.

Can we do that?
-Yep. Yes.

-Let's do that.
-Change your mind, ma'am.

-Thank you, Micah.
-[ Sighs ]

Here. Just pop --
just pop it.

-Argh! God!
-Just pop it.

You can just pop it.

[ Pop! ]
[ Sighs ]

[ Car door closes ]

-Hey!
-Hey, buddy.

Oh, boy.

Well, that was a real adventure,
sitting in that little shack.

We were thinking
if we could come in

around $3,500, $3,700 even,
that would be more our speed.

You guys
are breaking my heart here.

Oh.

Look, I'm gonna go talk
to my manager.

Okay? So just, like,
hold that thought.

No, don't go anywhere.
No, don't go anywhere.

Yeah, is there any way your
manager could come out here

and chat with us?

-He doesn't. He doesn't.
-Okay.

It's just a policy.

So, listen.
Here's what I'm gonna do.

Okay? $5,000 gets this car
off of the lot today.

I appreciate
that you came down.

We might even be able
to come up,

but if you
have to go in there --

-well, when you say come up...
-Yeah.

...what did you have
in mind?

We brought cash.

You ready to go, huh?

-Yeah. Cash.
-Yeah. We're ready.

I've got $4,300.

[ Laughs ]

Cash right now.

The sun is setting.
We could be out of here.

This is what we have.

Now, you know
I'm not gonna let you leave

with cash in your hands.

[ Chuckles ]
That would be absurd.

You've got yourselves a deal!

-Whoo!
-Ha-ha!

[ Ding ding ding ]

Mission accomplished.

[ Laughs ]

But that was kind of crazy.

I felt really powerful.

You were a real bad cop.

I would have absolutely
accepted $5 grand, but no.

You just be assertive,
be willing to walk away from it,

know your price.

Mm-hmm. I think
we gamed the system, buddy.

You want to Thelma and Louise
this smart car?

Yeah.
Next stop, the Grand Canyon.

[ Laughs ]

-Shall we?
-Yeah. Let's go.

Oh. Is that it?
Okay.

Is this as fast as it goes?

Kevin: We got one big hack left,
people..

See what this trebuchet
can do for your trash...

-Fire in the hole!
-Come on, baby!

[ Screech! ]
I heard a raccoon squeal on that one.

Kevin:
...When we come back.

Taking out the trash
can be a real chore,

but it doesn't have to be.
[ Grunts ]

Today I'm gonna show you
how a real hacker cleans house.

Incoming!

You good?

-Oh, yeah.
-All right.

Kevin:
This is hack masters.

It is absolutely my honor
to be joined by Brett doar.

He's a master hacker
and an artist.

We're here at his warehouse,

where he creates
all sorts of contraptions

that have been featured in music
videos and television shows.

And these machines, essentially,
they're really elaborate hacks.

Yeah, you hack something

because you're basically
repurposing it

to do something else,

and that's the essence
of what we do.

Today we are hacking a device

to take all the labor
out of taking out the trash.

-Yeah.
-What is this contraption?

What I have here
is a trebuchet,

and it is in the same class
as a catapult.

A catapult typically uses
Springs or some kind of band.

What this does
is it uses gravity.

I am the laziest person
I have ever met in my life,

so the notion
of taking a trash bag,

dropping it into a contraption
outside of my kitchen window

is very appealing to me.

Issue, though -- that is not
gonna launch a trash bag.

That's what this one is for.

I should've looked over here.

So, the first thing
we need to do

is get this swing arm
attached.

We need to put this heavy shaft
through the bearings,

bang that in place, and now
we need to weight the arm, here.

Bolts are tight,
trebuchet is in place.

-Let's throw some trash.
-Let's throw some trash!

All right.

Fire in the hole!

And here we go.

Launching that trash
in three...Two...One!

Whoo! Oh!

Geez!
-That was...Awkward.

Okay.
Hacking is kind of imperfect.

That's the point.
It's improv-y.

Kevin: We just need to tweak
the release mechanism

to let go of the bag
a little sooner.

Three, two, one.

Yeah! Oh!
Oh-ho-ho!

Yes!

That was amazing.

Here's the issue, though.

The trash is in said bin,
but the bin is not at the curb,

which is where it needs to be
for the trash to get picked up.

Yeah, but I've got a hack
for that.

Show me.

We're going to secure the
dumpster with a system of ropes

held together by a release pin
that's attached to a 2x4.

All we have to do
is hit the 2x4,

and it'll just slide on down
into the street.

Let's launch some trash.

Neighbors and small children
on tricycles,

now's the time
to steer clear of the trash.

If you hear it,
that's consent!

Three, two, one.

Oh!

Oh-ho-ho!

Just a hair too far.
-Just a little too far.

Three, two, one.

Come on, baby!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

I thought we were gonna it
on the rebound.

Go!

Oh, that's it!

That is it!

And she's good!

Hack trash!

Oh, my god!
Stop that trash can!

Whoo!

That is it!

And she's good!
And she's good!

Brett doar,
you're a hack master.

Thank you, man.
Really appreciate the time.

All right.
Thanks, man.

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