All language subtitles for Hack My Life s02e12 The Next Level of Hacking.eng

Brooke: The following
is a paid advertisement

for ball buster deluxe!

Trying to unclog a sink
is a nightmare.

Just look at this cesspool.

[ Gags ]

But I do have a solution
that's gonna bust this clog.

Introducing
the ball buster deluxe!,

the plunger
that everybody's got at home.

All you do is steal a ball
from your neighbor's kid,

make a quick cut
around the middle,

and you're good to go.

Put it facedown over your drain,
give it a couple pumps.

Come on! Stay with me here!

[ Pop! ]

Boom! Bye-bye, Mr. Clog.

And the best part --
you don't get one plunger.

You get two plungers
for the price of none.

It also works
on toilets.

[ Grunts, gags ]

What a deal!

Coming up on "hack my life,"
get pumped.

Hey!

-You're inour
-[ Laughs ]

Kevin: We hit the courts
for a battle of the balls.

[ Grunts ]

-Out of here.
-I got it!

Brooke: Plus, tricks to tackle
your sagging sheets.

Oh, god!

Kevin: Sweet hacks

that'll impress
your stoner friends.

Oh, my god, someone stop me!

Kevin: And a new way
to hack your melon.

...2, 3.

Both: Aah!

-Grab a pillow.
-Ohh!

Kevin: It's "hack my life."

[ Indistinct conversations ]

-What?
-Oh.

-You're doing good.
-Oh!

Hey! You ladies get lost
on your way to the outlets?

-'Cause you're inour
-[ Laughs ]

-Short gap!
-And one!

I thought there would be
more air in that.

I really did.
-Ah, that's embarrassing.

Don't worry.
Don't worry.

I got some hacks
that will get our bounce back.

-All right, all right.
-'Cause this is hack vs. Ha--

-out of here.
-I got it!

Kevin:
Brought to you by metropcs.

Saggy balls
are no fun to play with,

so today we're testing out some
hacks for blowing up basketballs

in case you don't have
a pump nearby.

And to help us determine
which hack

is going to be
the king of the court,

we're joined
by three stars

of the Los Angeles Lakers
development team --

Zach, Andre, and Justin.

Is there a way to know

that a basketball
is properly inflated?

Andre:
Yeah, there's a general rule.

If you outstretch your arm,
when you drop it,

it should come back
and hit your elbow.

So, this one
is about good to go.

I learned something today.

Well, we're gonna learn
a lot today

because we have three hacks
that may actually help you

get air inside
of a deflated basketball.

[ Laughter ]

-This should be interesting.
-Yeah.

Brooke: Okay, hack number one
is a balloon.

Put a coffee stirrer
on the end of it,

kind of the way you would
a needle,

attach it with some duct tape,
and let her rip.

Hack number two
is some compressed air.

Get the straw
into the basketball.

Pull the trigger.

That should inflate it
to regulation size.

And lastly, hack number three
is a microwave.

I'm not sure why you'd have
one of these on the court,

but if you nuke your basketball
for just the right temperature,

it should re-inflate.

Just don't overcook it.

Nobody wants
their balls overcooked.

-No, they don't.
-No.

So, who's gonna take what?

I got dibs
on the microwave.

Wait.
Youwant

you can't go wrong
with technology.

Andre,
what hack would you want?

I'm gonna take
the balloons.

So, Justin,
that would leave you

with this can
of compressed air.

The only question is,
is it enough pressure?

But I think it'll work.

The rules are simple --

whoever can get air
back in that ball the fastest --

they're the winner.

All right, well,
let's get into it.

3, 2...

Hack.
[ Whistle blows ]

-Oh, god.
-Yeah.

Okay, there is a basketball
almost in a microwave.

That's part of the issue.
Okay.

-Wow.
-He mashed it.

How long you putting that
in the microwave?

30 seconds.
Okay.

Really? Okay,
Andre's blowing up a balloon.

There's a lot of finessing.

You don't want to pop it.

Justin is being gentle.

Andre looks like he's
trying to nurse a kitten back to health.

It looks like he's gently
feeding some air into the ball.

[ Microwave beeps ]

All right,
that's 30 seconds.

-Ooh! Ooh!
-Ooh, nice and warm?

There you go. Oh!
Is that -- wait, no.

-No, that's not inflated.
-No way.

[ Whistle blows ]

Zach, sorry, buddy.
We got to call you back here.

It just needs
a little more time.

-Yeah, okay.
-Give it a little more time.

So, I think what's happening
is that the microwaves --

well, they're heating up the
air that's inside the ball,

so that's making it expand.

But once it cools down...

Is that working at all,
Andre?

-A little bit.
-Yeah?

I need about eight balloons,
though.

Oh, that one works
extremely well.

There's kind of
no contest here.

-Oh, yeah.
-Oh, that's it.

-Wait.
-You obviously cheated.

Now he's just mocking them
openly.

-Look like that's it.
-Yeah, I guess so.

Oh, that is it,
my friends!

Okay.
[ Whistle blows ]

Brooke:
Justin made the right call.

Compressed air takes the win.

[ Bell dings, crowd cheers ]

This hack was the clear winner,
no gimmicks, no tricks.

And you get to go home
with this...

Oh, yes.

...the gold-plated pump.

♪ Ahh ♪

The winner
of this hack vs. Hack

is Justin and the can
of compressed air!

♪♪

[ Hammering ]

[ Sparkle! ]

[ Bubbles popping ]

Listen up,
all you single ladies.

We're about to pop the question
in today's pop quiz.

I forgot to put in the rsvps!

Brooke:
Is your wedding-envelope error

making you wish you could elope?

I've got a hack
that can unseal your fate.

Are you ready to play
today's pop quiz?

Yes! Yes!
A thousand times yes!

I haven't actually asked
the question yet.

Sorry. Instincts, I guess.

Okay, guess what you can use
to re-open those envelopes

without doing any damage.

Is it "a," a knife,

"b," a freezer bag,

or "c," an iron?

Any ideas?

Hmm.

No.

Maybe the stea-- ugh!

Do I get a phone-a-friend?

Just let me call
my wedding planner.

Shh.

What does your heart tell you
the answer is?

An iron?

Ooh, so close.

The answer is actually "b,"
the freezer bag.

Brooke: Just put your envelopes
in an airtight freezer bag,

seal the bag up,
then set them in the freezer.

The cold, dry environment
should harden the adhesive,

and after 45 minutes,

they should pop right open,
damage-free.

Thank you so much.

You're the second best thing
that's ever happened to me.

Now go get ready
for your big day,

you blushing bride.

I hope you stay married
for at least nine months.

That's how long I lasted.

[ Boing! Boing! Boing! ]

[ Projector whirring ]

Kevin: The Fanny pack --

'80s fashion phenomenon,

accessory of tourists,

and also a hack from history.

Wanting a way
to carry stuff around,

the Greeks hack animal skins
into a small waist bag.

By Zeus, this is perfect
for my pan flute!

The design is tweaked over time,

but ultimately forgotten
until...

Melba stone is a widow
struggling to raise 10 kids.

[ Australia accent ]
A dingo ate my husband.

She spots a kangaroo in her yard
and gets an idea.

She creates a hip pouch

that lets her carry
her littlest ones hands free,

and the Fanny pack is reborn!

Fanny-pack fever
reaches a new high.

Adweek
the hottest product of the year

for being casual enough
for the beach

and classy enough
for a fine dinner suit.

But the Fanny pack again
falls out of fashion until...

Chanel makes the Fanny pack

one of the accessories
in its spring collection.

Ooh, là, là!

Très chic.

So, here's to you, Fanny pack.

May you remain in style

and a Fanny-tastic hack
from history.

Don't move that Fanny.

Up next, office hacks

that'll make
your co-workers jealous.

Yes!

Brooke: And never fight
with fitted sheets again.

Kevin and I take it
to the bedroom to find the fix.

Ow! Oh, god!

Brooke: The following
is a paid advertisement

for bottle pitter promax.

When someone says,
"life is a bowl of cherries,"

I say, "I feel sorry
for your life

because cherries
are a nightmare!"

First, you got to get rid
of this,

and that leaves you with this.

I'm gonna show you how to make
a perfectly pitted cherry

with an empty bottle
and a chopstick.

I call it
the bottle pitter promax.

Just take your cherry,
put it over your bottle,

put in the chopstick,
and wham! --

perfectly pitted cherry
every time.

I could do this all day.

[ Pop! Pop! Pop! ]

-[ Groaning ]
-Stop it.

Unh! These fitted sheets
are a nightmare.

Well, they wouldn't be
if you would stop kicking.

I don't kick.

And that is why we're testing
three different hacks

for keeping those
creeping corners in place.

This is
tumblr's hack mail.

Today Kevin and I
are testing out your hacks

to keep fitted sheets
where they belong --

on the mattress.

Now, the hack that secures
the sheets the best

will win our hack...

Both: Seal of approval!

Ready to hop in?

Lay it on me, kev.

Our first hack...

Okay. You just have
some suspenders...

Rainy day.
Okay.

You never know.

All right.

I'm gonna clamp these
little dragon mouths down.

Then I'll pass it on
over to you.

Go for it.

I got it.

Okay.
My side's good.

In the name of science,

I feel like we got to put it
through its paces.

Oh, yeah. Whoo!

-Okay. Wait. Wait. Wait.
-Fussy baby! Fussy baby!

Fussy baby!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh!
-[ Grunts ]

Unh!

Well,
they didn't move an inch.

No. These fitted sheets
are staying in place.

I'd say solid hack.

Hack number two.
John writes...

"Wink, smiley face."

Do you know what he means?

-Eating and crying?
-I don't know.

-Anyway, let's try it out.
-Okay.

We've got some velcro.

We're gonna cut off pieces
about this big.

-Right there?
-Yep.

Cool.
I'm gonna go ahead and put

this first strip of adhesive
on the sheet,

right about here.

Rub it in for a few seconds.
Let it set.

I'm gonna try it along the side
and see how that does.

Stop it.
No.

I told you not to borrow
my underwear.

How's it looking, bvp?
Oh, yeah.

Hang on.
I can't hear you. What?

It's holding.
Is it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
one more time.

[ Laughs ]
I mean it.

Ohh!

Okay, so, the sheet's definitely
staying clamped on the corners

where it counts.

My concern is when it comes time
to wash the sheets,

what are you gonna do?

Yeah. You're right.

There's adhesive already
on the inside of the sheet.

A hassle.
Oh, yeah.

Our final hack comes to us
from Alayna.

Alayna writes...

Assuming the trick is

poking holes in your sheet
and mattress.

So, I got my safety pin,
I got my sheet,

and I'm gonna Pierce it
through the actual mattress

because Alayna said so.

Yeah. I just don't like
putting holes in the sheets.

I mean, who would?
Uh-huh.

Ow. Why did you --
ow!

Ow! What -- aah! Ow!

Ow!
Oh, my god!

Let go!

Okay. Everything's intact
over here.

Yep.
I'm still all pinned.

All right,
shall we review our hacks?

-They all worked, Brooke.
-They did all work.

I'm gonna rule out
the safety pins.

Even though they worked,

you are putting holes in your
bedsheets and your mattress.

I feel like
one false move,

and you could put a huge tear
in your sheet

and then you just
have to throw them out.

Now, let's get
to the old velcro.

They really worked, but the big
turnoff was the adhesive

that gets left behind
on your sheets.

All right, that brings us
to suspenders.

Okay.
They're reusable.

They were really easy to put
on. They don't damage your sheets.

They don't permanently alter
your mattress.

Haley, you get our...

Both: Hack seal of approval!

Now, if you're watching this
and thinking,

"man, I'd like my ideas

to be romped around in a bed
with Brooke and Kevin,"

head on over to
hackmylifetrutv.Tumblr.Com

and send us
your hacks today.

♪♪

Kevin: Sometimes ordinary people
do extraordinary things,

all in the name of hacking...

...people like Gayle,

who's vying for the title
of employee of the month.

She's already won it
twice this year,

but in march, her rival, Rita,
took it home.

Gayle won't let that
happen again

because she's a hack hero!

To make it look like

she was first in the office
this morning,

Gayle left a cup of coffee
and a half-eaten bagel

at her desk last night.

The head honcho loves employees
that are go-getters.

Now,that's
of champions.

[ Snarls ]

[ Gags ]

Kevin: By confidently carrying
a clipboard around the office,

Gayle sends the message
that she's super in charge!

And that pencil behind her ear
doesn't hurt, either.

Just watch out for Rita,

who's clever enough
to actually read what's on it.

[ Whoosh! Thud! ]

Kevin: Way to trip up
the competition, Gayle.

At her desk,
Gayle doesn't sweat a thing.

[ Ding! ]

She maximized her efficiency

by converting her phone
into a hands-free headset

with a sweatband.

To hack her cubicle privacy
to the next level,

Gayle hangs a small mirror
on the wall.

Co-workers may think she's vain,

but she's got something else
on her beautiful mind,

keeping eyes on the competition.

Notthis

hello.
Employee of the month?

It's Gayle calling.

Thank you for coming.

At last, it's employee
of the month decision time.

And the winner is...

The suspense is killing me.

...Gayle!

What's up?! Yes!

Kevin:
Gayle wins by a landslide.

Congratulations, Gayle.

With hacks this smart,

you'll be the boss in no time
because you're a hack hero!

Brooke: Up next,
Kevin and I go band for band

in the watermelon equivalent
of "the hurt locker."

Just explode!

Kevin: See what breaks first --

Brooke or the watermelon.

[ Ding! ]

Brooke: The following
is a paid advertisement

for cheese chewer plus!

Kevin: Tired of trying to
grate cheese with a grater?

[ Sniffs, groans ]

The cheese-grater industry
wants you to panic

and buy one of their big,
fancy box graters.

Well, let me let you in
on a secret --

you don't need one!

Introducing the amazing
cheese chewer plus!

It's so easy!

Look at all that cheddar! Mmm!

And look at all that cheddar
in your pocket.

And that's not all.

Use it to mince garlic,

chop egg, mash avocado,
rice potatoes!

Is there anything
this magical device can't do?

Just those three things?

Head to your kitchen right now

and meet your brand-new
cheese chewer plus!

It's a strainer.

♪♪

[ Kettle whistling ]

So, you've got everything
you need for a perfect picnic,

but the one thing
you forgot --

a knife
to cut the watermelon.

Brooke, don't worry.

All you need is
a bucket of rubber bands...

At least according
to the Internet.

We're gonna find out
if it's hack or wack.

You claim we can slice open
this watermelon

with rubber bands, huh?

After you do
enough of them,

the tension is gonna squeeze,
squeeze, squeeze, and then --

[ pops lips ]

It's a nice, clean cut
right in half.

Like, we never need to use
knives again?

Why would you?
This is way more fun.

Okay. I'm in.

Okay. Well, we should
be careful, though,

'cause it could explode,
so protective gear --

goggles, ponchos,

everything that you would have
at a Gallagher concert.

Here we go.

I'm doubling it up,
going two at a time.

Watermelons just don't stand
a chance against Brooke and kev.

Okay, so, what,

like another few rubber bands,
you think, or...

Yeah, just a few hundred.
Yeah.

It's weird
'cause the look on your face

says that you'renot
this hack, Brooke.

Ooh, can I do that one?

[ Chuckles ]
Whoo!

Oh. You need help?
You need help?

-I'll get it. I'll get it.
-Yep, I'm good. I'm good.

Here you go.

It's been
40 minutes now.

We're well over the 300 Mark
for rubber bands.

This is ridiculous.

But I feel like
this thing's gonna blow.

That's starting to get
a very defined waistline.

1...

We letting go on 3?
...2...

2, 3.

This is like
the produce "hurt locker."

[ Imitates explosion ]

Okay to go.

Ohh!

[ Laughs ]

Okay. All right.
Okay. Nope.

We're gonna get this
before nightfall.

Before the hawks
scoop in.

♪♪

Okay, we are an hour and a half
into the process.

Wow. This is like 350, 400
rubber bands at this point.

Easily. Yeah.

I hate it.

Ugh!

Oh, I hate it so much.

I hate everything about it
so much.

Just -- just pop!

Just pop! Come on!

Let's keep going.
Let's see this through.

♪♪

Right in the middle,
right in the middle.

[ Ding! ]
Good!

Whoa.

You're mocking me, melon.

Just explode!

This is the worst hack
we've ever done.

[ Melancholy music playing ]

[ Sighs ]

Aah!
Aah! Aah!

I told you!
Ha ha!

Oh, that was amazing!

[ Slowed voice ] Aah!

Aah!

Look at the clean cut.

We can't eat it.

What are you talking about?
This is perfect!

Oh.

Oh, it was worth every second,
Brooke.

Huh?

With just this many
rubber bands,

you, too,
can explode a watermelon

so that it's inedible.

I'm picking up what you're
putting down, and I agree.

This is hack.

Whoa!
No, no, no, no.

How long did it take?
How many rubber bands?

Do your fingers hurt?

Yeah, but now they taste
like delicious watermelon.

[ Sighs ]
Just say it.

All right.
It's wack.

Thank you.

[ Buzzer ]

And I'm allergic
to watermelon, so...

Yeah, you need
to get out of here.

Pretty fun, though.

Can you hand me
that roof piece?

Oh. Hold on. Yeah.

Looks delicious.

Kevin: Up next,
you won't believe your eyes.

This is naughty.

Kevin: Brooke transforms
an ice cream sandwich

into an ice cream cake
when we return.

♪♪

[ Crash, clattering ]

You don't have to be a baker

to hack together
an ice cream cake.

All you need
is some ice cream sandwiches,

some cookies, whipped cream,

and an incredibly high tolerance
for sugar.

-Ooh!
-Let's get started.

For our first step, we grab
a loaf pan about this big.

And you're gonna line it
with saran wrap.

Your first layer
is going to be whipped cream.

You're gonna need
a nap after this.

This is when the ice cream
sandwiches come into play.

You can just kind of
go side by side.

Cut the third one in half
to fill in the extra space.

You think that's enough?

Hell, no, it's not enough.

Back at it with
another layer of whipped cream.

Oh, my god, someone stop me!

Next we are gonna kick it up
and add a layer of cookies.

This is perfect if you happen to
have some stale cookies

put them to good use.

Nothing feels better than
smashing a bunch of cookies.

Huh?

Sprinkle a generous layer
of cookie crumbs

and then put it in the freezer
for an hour so it can set.

-Ooh!
-O-m-g.

It's an ice cream cake.

-Aah!
-This is naughty.

Next, I've got a hack

that will help you decorate
this cake like a real pro.

All you need is a cookie cutter
and four pounds of sprinkles.

Oh, boy.

Place the cookie cutter
on your cake,

fill it with a layer
of sprinkles,

lift up the cutter,
and it'll hold its shape.

This looks so professional,

you'd hardly know that it's
all from a 99-cent store.

So wrong....

But it's so right.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Oh, I hate it so much.
I hate it, too.

This is like
the worst edgeplay.

We don't have a safe word.

We don't have a safe word.

Ohh! Utah!

Okay.

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