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1
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,777
Let me help you with that.
2
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,612
Whew. Thanks.
3
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,548
No problem. Moving in?
4
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,118
That's right, yeah- just
got here from Iowa.
5
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,786
I'm Jennifer, this is Jason.
6
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:23,088
Chris. Nice to meet you.
7
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,324
(stage whisper)
Chris! Chris!
8
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:32,898
Don't talk to them!
They're evil! Eeeevillll!
9
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,500
Have you met Dan?
10
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:38,303
Not officially, no. Hi, there!
11
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:40,372
I'm Well, good luck
living next to Dan.
12
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:44,043
And... I really mean that.
13
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:50,382
What do you think
you were doing?
14
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:54,319
I think I was meeting your
neighbors, who seem very nice.
15
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,488
You are so stupid.
16
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,556
(huffy)
You know I really enjoy
17
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,791
these little talks
of ours, Dan.
18
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:00,392
Can't you see they're
up to something?
19
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,127
Up to something... B-Because...
20
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:05,831
They're always smiling.
21
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,332
And, they insist
on saying "Hello"
22
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,034
every single time I see them!
23
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,437
Well, I hope you've
notified the police.
24
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:12,871
(angry and flustered)
I'll notify them that-
25
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:17,543
-missing persons -when
your body- -turns up in-
26
00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,111
-Uh-Um
27
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,613
Let's go. The movie
starts soon.
28
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,751
Okay, the coast is clear.
Now here's how we roll:
29
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:28,754
Head down, eyes front.
Make a beeline for the car.
30
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,789
Go! Go! Go!
31
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:34,359
Ahh! Dan, right?
You play basketball?
32
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,627
I was thinking about
33
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:36,894
Basketball is for communists.
34
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,897
Uh...tennis then?
35
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,733
We baked this pie for
you. It's banana cream.
36
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:46,071
You know, Jennifer also makes
the world's best meat pie,
37
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:46,939
if you're interested.
38
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:50,142
It helps that
Jason's a butcher.
39
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,446
Dan!
40
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,215
What? It slipped.
41
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,517
Besides, I can't eat dairy.
42
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,152
Oh. Ok.
43
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:03,589
Well..I guess we'll see
you soon..neighbor.
44
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:07,326
My car! Look at what they did!
45
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,961
Dan, you were the one who
46
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:14,333
NEIGHBORS!!!
47
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,503
(sound of doorbell) (narrator)
Hey there Dan!
48
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,315
I hate coffee.
49
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,651
Why are we staking out your
building instead of going to
50
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,387
the movie I already
bought tickets for?
51
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,923
To find out what my
neighbors are up to!
52
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,591
Couldn't we keep just as
good an eye on them from
53
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,726
your apartment?
54
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:43,395
There he is! Get down!
55
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,770
Come on!
56
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,106
Now I've got them!
57
00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:58,944
Eughh! Gross! There's nothing
here but garbage.
58
00:02:58,946 --> 00:02:59,845
Shocking.
59
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,080
Hey, a porkchop!
60
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,982
Just walk me in.
61
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,883
I need backup until I figure
out what they're up to.
62
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:06,685
Hey, there!
63
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,887
Ha-HA!
64
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,622
Weren't expecting me
to bring my dimwitted
65
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:14,459
bodyguard, were you?
Chris! Attack!
66
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,228
Dan, we made you another pie.
67
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:20,265
This one without dairy
products of any kind.
68
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,201
Whoa, there, careful!
You almost lost your
69
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,936
grip on that one, too.
70
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,337
Better let me carry that.
71
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,973
We'd love to have you for
dinner some time, Dan.
72
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,608
And you�re invited too, Chris.
73
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,410
What a nice offer!
74
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:34,146
Dan, do you have
something to say?
75
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,247
Ow!
76
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,483
You talk to me like a child,
I kick a you.
77
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,985
Hrmph.
78
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:44,289
That's as close as you're going
to get to a "Thank you."
79
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,463
What are you doing?
Don't eat that!
80
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:56,235
It's probably poisoned!
81
00:03:56,237 --> 00:04:00,706
And where did you get a fork?
82
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:04,009
So you're going to risk
death for baked goods?
83
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,411
I'm weighing the odds that
you're right about the poison
84
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,280
against how much I like pie.
85
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,349
Pie wins.
86
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:20,726
I don't get it.
You're not dead.
87
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,394
Do you at least feel faint?
88
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:26,131
No, but I feel full of cherry
wonderfulness.
89
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:30,102
If they�re not trying to poison
me, then what's their angle?
90
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,604
I'm going to go home. Maybe
I'll take a long walk tonight,
91
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:36,074
burn off some of
these calories.
92
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,844
(gasps)
That's it!
93
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,612
We'd love to have you for
dinner... we'd love to...
94
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,448
...makes a great meat pie...
makes a great meat pie...
95
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,617
...married to a butcher...
married to a butcher...
96
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:56,395
Those fiends! Those
diabolical fiends!
97
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:59,865
Nice try, Mr. and Mrs. Demon
Barbers of Fleet Street,
98
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,601
but I'm on to your
sick little game now.
99
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,969
Don't you see, Chris?
100
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,972
They're fattening
me up to eat me!
101
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,941
How did you get there,
from-you know what?
102
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,877
Never mind. I'm going home.
103
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:15,981
What? You can't leave me! Not
with cannibals next door!
104
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,115
Let go!
105
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,050
Never!
106
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,618
Aargh!
107
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:23,955
So how was the movie?
108
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,158
We never went.
Dan has new neighbors.
109
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,492
Oh? What are they like?
110
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,694
Really nice.
111
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,363
Dan thinks they�re cannibals
who want to eat him.
112
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,366
Who'd want to eat Dan?
He's all gristle.
113
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,501
(phone rings)
Hello?
114
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:40,772
Do you think I should try to
eat them before they eat me?
115
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:45,944
Uh, no Dan, I don't. Leave
those nice people alone.
116
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,947
Nice? You don't know
anything about them!
117
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,149
That's a good point, actually.
You know maybe Elise and I
118
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,918
should go over there tomorrow.
119
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,887
Hey, can Mr. Mumbles and I move
in to your place until they get
120
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,590
arrested for crimes
against humanity?
121
00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,891
I don't think so.
122
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,627
Pfft. You will look back on
this conversation when I
123
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:06,598
go missing and feel
awful. "I'm so stupid!"
124
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,534
you'll say, "If only I
had listened to Dan!
125
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:15,307
How could I possibly be this
stu--" Hello?
126
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:16,575
He'll come around.
127
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,113
(jennifer o.s.)
Just a minute!
128
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,356
Mmmpphh!
129
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:34,126
Oh! Uh, hi... My name is Elise.
130
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,961
You met my husband
Chris yesterday?
131
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:38,029
I just wanted to welcome
you to the neighborhood.
132
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,215
Here.
133
00:06:40,216 --> 00:06:42,400
This is so nice!
Please come in.
134
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,072
What is your problem?!
135
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,607
I needed to talk to you.
136
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,976
There are better ways to go
about it then throwing a bag
137
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,377
over my head!
138
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:55,347
Hindsight is 20/20,
Chris.
139
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:58,917
At least I got a
candy bar out of it.
140
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:03,355
This is just a block of wood
with a candy wrapper on it.
141
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:06,024
Serves you right for
consorting with cannibals.
142
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,626
Look, I need your help.
143
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,361
Well, tough.
144
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,199
What do you want me to do?
145
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,334
We need to spy on them.
146
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,703
Gather intelligence,
as they say.
147
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,939
You know, I could have gathered
a lot more intelligence had I
148
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,908
actually gone into
their apartment.
149
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:26,111
Stop living in the
hypothetical! This is the now.
150
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,780
Help me spy on my
people-eating neighbors.
151
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,515
Give me the candy bar.
152
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,885
I'll give it to
you on the roof.
153
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,454
The roof?
154
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,391
Looking good.
155
00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:40,759
I don't know about this...
156
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:44,029
You do nothing but
complain, you know that?
157
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,781
Here.
158
00:07:45,782 --> 00:07:47,532
I'll lower you just far enough
so you can peek in the window,
159
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:50,202
and then you take
pictures of their place.
160
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,254
Uh... What if they see me?
161
00:07:52,255 --> 00:07:54,305
Elise is in there -she's
bound to recognize me.
162
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,708
Why do you think they
invented ski masks?
163
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,243
(huffy)
For skiing.
164
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,679
You are such a child.
165
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,081
Can I have that candy bar now?
166
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,918
Oh, it's another block of wood!
167
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,487
Don't you have any
real candy?
168
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,155
No!
169
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:15,527
Okay, now I'm going to
lower you down slowly...
170
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,462
Remember...
171
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,830
Uh-oh.
172
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,165
(chris o.s.)
What's happening?
173
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,101
Uh, nothing! Everything's fine!
174
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,903
Have you known Dan
very long?
175
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,605
Too long.
176
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,878
Aaahhhh!
177
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,713
Prowler!
178
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,214
You call the police!
I'm getting my gun and
179
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,148
goin out there .
180
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:40,352
Uh-oh.
181
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,419
(chris o.s.)
Uh, Dan?
182
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,687
Sorry buddy!
183
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,122
Aaaahhhh!
184
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:48,960
Oh... I'm hurt.
185
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,669
I hope you're not
expecting sympathy.
186
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,504
It was Dan's fault!
187
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,506
He pushed me off the roof!
188
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:05,110
Oh? And did he wrestle you up to
the roof in the first place?
189
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,546
No, I walked up there. But he
190
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,781
And how did the climbing
harness get on you?
191
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:13,451
Did he do that? Or did it
magically appear on your body?
192
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,388
Okay, I'll admit it:
It's my own fault.
193
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:19,624
Thank you.
What's step two?
194
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:20,992
(chris sullen)
Not letting Dan talk me
195
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,595
into doing stupid things.
196
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,630
My knee really hurts.
197
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,766
Pain is how we learn.
198
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,415
Hey there, Dan.
199
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:46,151
You leave me alone. I spent
all day rolling around
200
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,753
in noxious chemicals,
so I'd taste terrible.
201
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,957
Uh... okay. I came
over here because
202
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,726
my wife saw a prowler
outside the window today.
203
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:57,829
So? What makes you think I had
anything to do with that?
204
00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:01,466
You can't come over here and
accuse me, I have lawyers!
205
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,301
I was actually just letting
you know that we're having
206
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,437
security bars installed
on our windows.
207
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:07,205
Noted. Goodbye.
208
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,507
They're running a 2-for-1
special at the security store,
209
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:14,312
so we�ll be having them
installed on your windows, too.
210
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:17,549
(jason o.s.)
No thanks necessary!
211
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,217
(dan whisper, to Mr. Mumbles)
They want to trap me here,
212
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,087
so I can't escape when
they come for me!
213
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,356
I've got to get
them out of here!
214
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,693
Dan! We know you're in there!
215
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,428
(dan o.s.) Go away! I'm busy!
216
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,231
Open this door or I'm
opening it!
217
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,801
(dan o.s.)
Ha! I'd like to see you try!
218
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,319
You are not to put Chris in
dangerous situations anymore,
219
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,887
do you hear me?
220
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,424
Me? He practically begged me
to lower him off the roof!
221
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,092
I did not.
222
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,762
Be that as it may,
Chris is your friend,
223
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,498
and-what are you
doing, by the way?
224
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,601
I'm making a tunnel into my
neighbors apartment.
225
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,236
Why?
226
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,672
Don't you understand anything?
227
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:16,941
I've been collecting
cockroaches all day.
228
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:22,080
Okay, still not getting
the bigger picture here.
229
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,682
He's going to release
the cockroaches into
230
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,716
Jennifer�s apartment.
231
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,784
Ah.
232
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,919
Which I can't let you
do, Dan.
233
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,387
They're really nice
people.
234
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:33,458
You are so naive. Wake up and
smell the meat pies!
235
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,193
What cockroaches
were those again?
236
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:39,831
The ones in the box
over th-
237
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:43,601
Oh. Oh, well. I needed
to go bigger anyway.
238
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:46,905
I was thinking "Medieval
siege weaponry."
239
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,175
Dan, you will not do anything
to them, you get me?
240
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,544
Chris and I are going over there
for lunch on Tuesday and I do
241
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,714
NOT want to discover
cockroaches in my food.
242
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:59,651
Turncoats and traitors,
all around me! Get out!
243
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:03,555
You, too! Just hobble away on
your crutches of betrayal!
244
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:14,299
Thought you could trap me in
my own apartment? Nice try.
245
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:15,867
(Mr. Mumbles yowls)
246
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:19,704
I know, Mr. Mumbles.
But we'll be fine.
247
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:25,844
Now come on, it's time for bed.
248
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,546
Awww, don't be like that.
249
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,850
It's only for a couple of
days. It'll be fun!
250
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,384
(Mr. Mumbles yowls)
251
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,019
Goodnight.
252
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,568
Okay, here's what I need.
253
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,971
Dan? Where have you
been? I came round your
254
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,906
apartment yesterday,
and you weren't there.
255
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,842
Oh, that. I'm not going to
be trapped in my apartment
256
00:12:57,844 --> 00:13:01,412
like some animal, just waiting
for them to come and get me.
257
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,615
I'm living on the rooftop
across the street.
258
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,150
Perfectly logical.
259
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,986
Drop the attitude, jerkface!
260
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:12,323
And bring me the following: a
bag of logs, some gasoline,
261
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:15,660
a box of matches, a dozen
or so ostrich feathers-
262
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,496
What? Where would I even get
ostrich feathers?
263
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:21,599
Why do I have to think
of everything for you?
264
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:25,570
They don't have to be ostrich!
Flamingo will be fine...
265
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,442
What took you so
long!?
266
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,645
It takes a while to climb
the stairs when you're
267
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,013
on crutches, Dan.
268
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,382
Whine, whine, whine.
Gimme my stuff.
269
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:40,618
Dan, wait! That's not your
stuff. Those are my groceries!
270
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,922
Why would you carry your
groceries up to the roof?
271
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:46,024
I wasn't going to leave
them in a hot car.
272
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,259
Some of those things
are perishable.
273
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,161
And others are ice cream.
274
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,397
Where are the logs?
Where's the gasoline?
275
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:56,334
I didn't bring them. What
is that thing anyway?
276
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,969
It's a ballista!
277
00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:01,506
I'm going to launch flaming logs
into my neighbors apartment.
278
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,841
THAT'LL give 'em the
message.
279
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,577
I'm sure the police will
get a message, too.
280
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:07,879
What did you need the ostrich
feathers for?
281
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,915
Flight stabilizers on
the logs, of course!
282
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,951
Man, you're an idiot.
283
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,153
Now I'm glad I didn't
get them.
284
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,056
Well, something in here
might do...
285
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,658
Hey! Stop it! Those
are for eating!
286
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:26,397
Ah-ha! Honey!
287
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:33,738
No!
288
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:37,342
That was mine! Do you know
how expensive honey is?
289
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,209
(to himself)
Should have accounted
290
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,577
for the lighter missile.
291
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,913
Oh, well... What else
do we have here?
292
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:42,881
Peanut butter?
293
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:44,515
Dan, no!
294
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,950
Let go!
295
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,185
It's the only way!
296
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,822
I'm not going to let you
waste all of my groceries
297
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:53,291
with your stupid
giant crossbow.
298
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:57,428
Get out of the way, Chris.
This is life or death for me!
299
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,830
You think I won't
shoot you?!
300
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:03,067
I'm not moving! Give me back
my peanut butter!
301
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,702
You're making me do this!
302
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,380
All right, you win.
303
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:19,150
I knew you wouldn't
shoot me!
304
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:23,421
Whuf-aaAAAHHHH!
305
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,489
Chris!
306
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,194
Bad kitty! Mr.
307
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,930
(mr. mumbles MEOWS)
308
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,499
N'gaw...
309
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:34,966
(chris o.s.) Ouch.
310
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:47,946
151...152...153... Hello?
311
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:53,318
Uh, hi Elise, it's Dan...Listen,
um, well, first things first.
312
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,018
How are you?
313
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,687
What do you want, Dan?
314
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:58,890
I have some good news
and some bad news...
315
00:15:58,892 --> 00:16:01,076
What happened?
316
00:16:01,077 --> 00:16:03,261
Okay, the important thing to
remember is that everyone
317
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,930
is okay. Well, not Chris...
318
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:17,709
Hey, you. Dan said you
sounded mad on the phone, so
319
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:18,977
Where is he?!
320
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,244
He didn't want to be
here when you arrived,
321
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,814
so he left you a note
while I was sleeping.
322
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,283
I can't reach it.
323
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:28,252
You must be in so much pain.
324
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:31,489
Yeah, I've learned
a lot this week.
325
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:35,693
"Elise: While I find you lacking
in warmth, kindness and,
326
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:42,367
on some level, basic humanity, I
have always... refracted you?
327
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,502
I think that's "respected."
328
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:48,773
"RESPECTED you, and hope now to
appeal to your better nature,
329
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:52,977
should such a thing exist within
whatever scaly, chitinous
330
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,545
valve passes for your heart."
331
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:58,282
Boy, Dan really knows
how to wow a girl, doesn't he?
332
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,134
(back to letter)
"While Chris is
333
00:17:00,135 --> 00:17:01,985
obviously responsible for
his own present condition,
334
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:05,523
I do accept some modicum of
responsibility, and I promise,
335
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,494
once my... Nefarious?
336
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,162
Could be "narwhal."
337
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,931
(dan o.s. frustrated)
It's NEIGHBORS, you morons!
338
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,433
Dan.
339
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,236
Uh-oh. Hey! Let go!
That's MY foot!
340
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,505
You'd better say
your prayers, Dan.
341
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,974
It really was an
accident, Elise.
342
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:25,276
I stepped in front of
his catapult.
343
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:30,648
Ballista. And in my defense,
I did bring Chris immediately
344
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,084
to the hospital instead of
launching more stuff at
345
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,887
my neighbors. Or
launching Chris at them.
346
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,555
Which would have been awesome.
347
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,073
Dan!
348
00:17:39,074 --> 00:17:40,590
That would have been kind
of awesome, actually.
349
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,859
Chris!
350
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:45,396
Now if you'll excuse me, I
have a siege to continue.
351
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,398
This ends now.
352
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,035
Jennifer? Hi, it's Elise.
353
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:54,038
Listen, can we bring
Dan to lunch today?
354
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,207
Great, see you soon!
355
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,009
Now you have the chance
to meet your neighbors,
356
00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,877
and see that they
are not cannibals.
357
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:03,581
Or I have a chance to prove to
you that they are.
358
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:10,688
One, two, three!
359
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,989
I can�' do this.
360
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,791
He's too heavy!
361
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:17,462
Ughhh...Come on, Dan!
We're almost to the top!
362
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:20,198
Can somebody scratch my
nose?
363
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:26,471
Dan, nice to finally
have you in our home.
364
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:30,274
I know what you're
up to.
365
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,010
Chris! What happened?
366
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,580
Peanut butter, medieval
siege weapon, falling.
367
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,215
You know...
368
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,586
Thank you, Jennifer.
369
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,394
Lactose-free chocolate
croissants?
370
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,530
Is that even possible?
371
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:55,299
I bet they taste like
cardboard.
372
00:18:55,301 --> 00:19:03,641
Ooh. They're... amazing.
373
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,976
All right, what's your
secret?
374
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,677
First, you take
some pastry flour
375
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,746
No, I mean YOUR secret?
376
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,749
You're too nice. You
eat people, right?
377
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:12,416
What?
378
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,952
Uh... gross.
379
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:19,390
Then what is it? Serial killers?
Fugitives? Guidance Councilors?
380
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,992
What's your angle?
381
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,361
We don't have an angle.
We're just nice people.
382
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,964
Well, for the most part. I do
have some anger issues, but
383
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,833
I've been working on
them in therapy.
384
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,434
Really?
385
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:34,639
Sometimes I get so mad I just
start yelling things at the sky.
386
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,841
And don't forget your anger
journal.
387
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,476
Anger journal?
388
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,245
(jason sheepish)
It's just something silly I do.
389
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,381
When someone or something
makes me really mad,
390
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,717
I write it down on a list.
Here, I'll show you.
391
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,688
This could be a page
from my list...
392
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:55,126
You know Jason, I think
we'll get along after all.
393
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,201
You know....You guys
know something?
394
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,636
When you first moved in,
I thought we weren't
395
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:06,904
going to get along.
396
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,739
We had our doubts, too.
397
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,608
I'll say!
398
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:15,213
I even tried to drive you
out of the building.
399
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,047
How's that?
400
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,515
Oh, different ways.
401
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:20,585
First I was going to infest
your home with cockroaches...
402
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,753
Wh-Why would you do that?
403
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,355
That's disgusting.
404
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,624
(dan chuckles)
Oh that's nothing.
405
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:29,427
Then I was going to shoot
flaming logs into your
406
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,729
apartment from across
the street.
407
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,698
That could have seriously
injured us.
408
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:38,736
Yeah, it's good we can
all laugh about it now.
409
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,246
AHHHHHH! Get them off me!
410
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,080
They're in my shirt!
411
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:52,383
Dan! Are these yours?
412
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,018
Yup. These are mine.
413
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,920
You incredible jerk!
414
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,955
Hey! This was an accident!
415
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,824
Look, if you're going
to fly off the handle
416
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,359
every time something
like this happens,
417
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,761
I'm not sure we'll
make good neighbors.
418
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,163
I can't believe we ever
let you into our home!
419
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,466
You are the worst neighbor
we have ever had!
420
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:11,168
Come on, don't be like that!
421
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:14,071
I was just starting
to like you guys.
422
00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:21,579
I'm really going to
miss them.
423
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:25,249
I don't think they'll
miss you.
424
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,585
Maybe your next neighbor
will be even nicer.
425
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:31,222
You never kn-
426
00:21:31,272 --> 00:21:35,822
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