All language subtitles for Dan Vs s01e22 The Lemonade Stand Gang.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,420 Hey, you kids! 2 00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:24,650 Either show me your vendor permits or get out of my spot! 3 00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:30,930 So, what seems to be the problem here, mister? 4 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,560 Yeah, mister. What's the problem? 5 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,630 - Quiet, Moose. - Sorry, boss. 6 00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:38,830 Hey, kids. I don't mean to run you out of business, 7 00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:40,900 but you're kind of in my spot. 8 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:43,410 So, I need to run you out of business. 9 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,670 Or at least have you move. 10 00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:48,910 - We were here first. - Yeah, first. 11 00:00:48,950 --> 00:00:51,850 - Moose. - Right, sorry. 12 00:00:51,890 --> 00:00:54,510 Well, technically, I was here first. 13 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:57,350 I live here. This is where I park. 14 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,760 Not anymore. 15 00:00:58,790 --> 00:01:00,820 I-- uh... 16 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,030 I have no answer for that. 17 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,610 Children, can't live with them, can't hunt them for sport. 18 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,630 Hey, mister. Lemonade? 19 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,200 I don't want any. I just want to go home. 20 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:23,150 Out of the way, irksome urchins. 21 00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:24,950 I wasn't asking. 22 00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:27,780 You're going to buy a cup of lemonade before you can pass. 23 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,760 Don't you threaten me, kid. I-- ahh! 24 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:33,280 - Hey! - That'll be $1.25. 25 00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:35,820 $1.25?! 26 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:38,300 - That's outrageous! - Pay up! 27 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:40,630 Or Large Harold here will give you the deepest, 28 00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:43,430 longest-lasting charley horse you've ever had. 29 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,200 I call it a Charles horse. 30 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,870 First of all, I don't carry cash. 31 00:01:47,910 --> 00:01:49,600 Second of all-- ahh! 32 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:53,680 You'll pay for this, you hooligans. 33 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,040 Did you just call us hooligans? 34 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,120 Get off me! 35 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,420 You ankle-biting meatballs! 36 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,860 - Hello? - I'm bruised and sticky! 37 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,800 - Dan? - Who else? 38 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,430 Get over here, I have a major problem with minors. 39 00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,570 "lf you know what's good for you, 40 00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:28,100 don't mess with The Lemonade Stand Gang. 41 00:02:28,150 --> 00:02:32,050 Signed, The Lemonade Stand Gang." 42 00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:34,210 Those little beasts! 43 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:42,660 LEMONADE STAND GANG!!! 44 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,660 Hello? Dan? 45 00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:56,110 Is everything okay? 46 00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:58,710 Who is it? 47 00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:01,470 It's Chris. Who is this? 48 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,450 Did they see you come up here? 49 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,540 Well, I bought this lemonade from them. 50 00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:09,580 And they are right down-stairs. 51 00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:11,560 So, probably. 52 00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:14,020 - Don't drink that poison! - Hey! 53 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:17,550 Hey, nothing. Why are you supporting those rapscallions? 54 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,960 Well, they were pretty aggressive, 55 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,590 but I was quite thirsty anyways, so, you know, I bought some. 56 00:03:22,630 --> 00:03:24,000 Aggressive? 57 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,560 They're a violent gang of unrepentant thugs. 58 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:30,630 They're practically corn children. Look what they did to my window. 59 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,200 I'm pretty sure that was already broken. 60 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,580 Look at what they did to me! 61 00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:41,980 My poor tender skin is all bruised up. 62 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:43,580 So, what do you want me to do? 63 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:48,120 I want you to go down there and crush them! 64 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,990 Crush them with your big, strong hands. 65 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,990 Yeah, okay. I'm not going to assault a group of children. 66 00:03:55,030 --> 00:03:56,690 They're not children. 67 00:03:56,730 --> 00:03:59,900 They're a wee, organized crime... 68 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,870 organization. 69 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,810 All right, well, you know, that's great and all, 70 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,670 but I have dinner plans with the wife, 71 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:09,110 so, you know... bye. 72 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:11,670 Where are you going? 73 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,650 Get back here, coward! 74 00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:17,050 Hey, mister. 75 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,950 - Lemonade? - No, thanks, buddy. 76 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:21,390 - I just bought one, remember? - I do not. 77 00:04:21,430 --> 00:04:23,290 Do you remember this guy buying anything? 78 00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:26,020 I don't remember nothin', boss. 79 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:27,830 Watch your double negatives, Moose. 80 00:04:27,870 --> 00:04:29,660 Sorry, boss. 81 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,830 Okay, kids. This has been fun, but I have to go. 82 00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:36,700 Come on, kids. I-- ahh! 83 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:41,470 Hey! Look, you can't just bully people like this, you little hooligan. 84 00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:43,910 What did you call us? Dolores! 85 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,490 Look, why can't you just leave me alone? 86 00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:00,630 Hey, honey. What took you so long 87 00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:03,290 to get ho-- oh, my gosh! Chris! 88 00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:05,960 - What happened to your shins? - I was attacked. 89 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,970 - Mugged? - Uh, sort of. 90 00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:12,570 There are these kids outside Dan's place who set up a lemonade stand. 91 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:14,700 What's funny? 92 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:17,610 I'm sorry, it's just-- no, never mind. 93 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,580 - Sorry, go on. - Why are you laughing? 94 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,610 - I can barely walk. - Nothing is funny. 95 00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:24,810 Come on. Tell me what happened. 96 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:27,260 Well, Dan said they attacked him. 97 00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:30,690 And I didn't believe him at first. 98 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,200 - Because it's ridiculous? - Exactly. 99 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:35,100 And then when I left his place, 100 00:05:35,130 --> 00:05:37,070 they tried to force me to buy another lemonade. 101 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:39,900 I said, no, thanks. And they surrounded me 102 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,460 and went to town on my shins! 103 00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:45,700 - Fine. Just make fun. - Oh, no. 104 00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:49,800 Sweetheart, I'm sorry, but you got beat up by kids? 105 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,940 Not beat up, just kicked a lot! 106 00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:55,710 Besides, it's not like I'm going to fight a bunch of children. 107 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:59,090 Oh, listen. Why don't I get you an ice pack? 108 00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:06,550 It's not funny! 109 00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:13,670 Come on, war board. You're supposed to inspire. 110 00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,400 Hi, this is Chris. 111 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,470 Voice mail?! lnconceivable! 112 00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:20,840 And I'm not in right now. Please leave a message. 113 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,470 Chris, where are you? 114 00:06:22,510 --> 00:06:25,000 You were supposed to be here six minutes ago. 115 00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:29,080 I'm giving you five more minutes and then we're through! 116 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,880 Through forever! 117 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,150 Do you hear me?! Through! 118 00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:36,060 Some people are just so inconsiderate. 119 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,060 I don't want any lemonade! Just leave me alone! 120 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,690 Then give us your shoes! 121 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,730 Officer! You've got to help me. 122 00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:48,100 Those kids are chasing me. 123 00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:51,800 They're extorting the neighborhood and they physically assaulted me. 124 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,440 - Is this true, kids? - No, sir. 125 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,210 We run a lemonade stand and he forgot to pay. 126 00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:02,050 We're trying to raise money to get surgery for Dolores. 127 00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,990 I'm not well, sir. 128 00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,780 Well, that's just awful. 129 00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:09,450 And you were trying to steal lemonade from these sweet little angels? 130 00:07:09,490 --> 00:07:11,480 I ought to arrest you right now. 131 00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,790 No, you don't understand! 132 00:07:13,830 --> 00:07:16,890 Move along, sir, before I move you along. 133 00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:19,270 Get me? 134 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,440 Talking to the cops? Not smart. 135 00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:25,640 No one likes a tattletale. 136 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,170 Oh, well, that's, uh-- hey, look! 137 00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:29,870 Ice cream man! 138 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,410 See you real soon, mister. 139 00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,820 Hey! There's no ice cream man! 140 00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:40,020 35... 34... 33... 141 00:07:41,690 --> 00:07:43,660 - Password? - Just let me in. 142 00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:46,250 Is that a kid doing a Chris impression? 143 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:49,060 Dan, it's me. They're right behind me. Please, open up. 144 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,500 All right, if you're the real Chris, 145 00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:54,630 do you prefer crispy bacon or chewy bacon? 146 00:07:54,670 --> 00:07:56,660 Who cares? I just love bacon! 147 00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:05,170 - What took you so long? - I was attacked again! 148 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:07,880 - By those kids, right? - Who else would be attacking me? 149 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,220 I don't know. You're pretty ill-tempered and quick to anger. 150 00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:13,490 I just assumed you have lots and lots of enemies. 151 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,490 Don't give me a hard time. 152 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:17,720 I got enough of that from Elise last night at dinner. 153 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,390 Well, it's like I always say, Elise is a jerk. 154 00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:24,400 She's not a jerk. And you're missing the point. 155 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,670 I'm trying to tell you, you were right about those kids, okay? 156 00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:29,800 Yeah, they're jerks. 157 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,970 Don't worry though, I'm working on a plan. 158 00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:35,070 - Hey! You're involved! - What kind of plan? 159 00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:36,740 - Fear. - Fear? 160 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:39,770 Fear when wielded by the proper hand 161 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,940 can be a powerful weapon. 162 00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:45,150 Now, what is the one thing 163 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:47,210 all children fear? 164 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,020 Crazy Aunt Mildred chained up in the basement. 165 00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,190 Uh, I said all children. 166 00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:54,360 Oh, clowns. 167 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,920 Close. Monsters. 168 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,530 Put this on. 169 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,870 No. Not again. 170 00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:02,930 I got most of the ammonia out. 171 00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:05,570 - That still doesn't-- - You said you were hot. 172 00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:09,340 Look, we can go back and forth about who dumped what on whom 173 00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:11,310 because the labels were misread in haste, 174 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:14,940 or we could get back at some pint-sized hooligans. 175 00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:16,350 Your choice. 176 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,010 This costume is hot. I'm sweating buckets. 177 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,170 Quit complaining. 178 00:09:31,210 --> 00:09:33,900 I still can't believe I have to be the one in the costume. 179 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,100 Bigger monsters are scarier. 180 00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:38,670 Now, climb up there and tell him 181 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,980 if he doesn't shut down the lemonade stand, 182 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:43,750 you'll drag him off to Monsterland. 183 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,610 Do me proud, monster Chris. 184 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,090 What is it, like 100?? in here? 185 00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,530 Timmy? 186 00:09:58,570 --> 00:10:00,590 Just have a little more homework to do, Mom. 187 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,600 Homework? It's summertime. 188 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,510 Yeah, but if I don't finish my summer reading list, 189 00:10:05,540 --> 00:10:07,130 I won't be ready for September. 190 00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:08,910 That's my little prince. 191 00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:12,510 Well, don't work too hard. Even overachievers need their sleep. 192 00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:23,350 Hi, Mrs. Fitzpatrick. Is Dolores there? 193 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,950 Thank you. 194 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,620 Dolores. Timmy. 195 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,030 I want to talk to you about the lemonade stand receipts. 196 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:31,620 They're short. 197 00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:34,570 Don't give me that "business is slow" nonsense. 198 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,970 You go out there and you make it happen. 199 00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:39,630 Otherwise, I'll think you're skimming. 200 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,380 You said you would be a good earner, Large Harold. 201 00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:53,580 I don't want any more excuses, I want numbers! 202 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,650 - Timmy? - Got to go. 203 00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:58,560 Come on, Tiger. Those teeth won't brush themselves. 204 00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,830 What is taking so long? 205 00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:07,320 He's still not in bed and I need water. 206 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:10,360 We are not deviating from the plan. 207 00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:13,170 I'm so dehydrated, I'm about to pass out. 208 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,340 Just stick to the plan. 209 00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:19,110 Dan. Dan. 210 00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:22,170 I can't take another minute in this costume. 211 00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:25,710 I got you "The New Adventures of Population Control Johnny." 212 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,480 Thanks, Mom. 213 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:29,950 Don't stay up too late. 214 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,160 Finally. 215 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,970 So thirsty. 216 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,680 Timmy? 217 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,650 Timmy, I told you to go to-- 218 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,220 Mom? 219 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:05,280 It's a misunderstanding! 220 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:09,020 Never send a Chris to do a Dan's job. 221 00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,330 lncompetent. 222 00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:12,730 Stop! 223 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,740 It's me. Get everyone together, now. 224 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:23,010 You should be ashamed of yourself. 225 00:12:23,050 --> 00:12:24,810 Don't worry, I am. 226 00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:26,820 For many, many reasons. 227 00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:29,150 It was a simple plan! 228 00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:32,850 You turned it into some weird monster streaker thing. 229 00:12:32,890 --> 00:12:34,880 The costume was sweltering. 230 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,620 And you wouldn't let me out of there. 231 00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,560 So, you didn't accomplish the mission, 232 00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:42,620 but you did terrorize an innocent lady in her own home. 233 00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:44,530 I'm ashamed to call you my minion. 234 00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:46,630 I'm not your minion. 235 00:12:47,670 --> 00:12:49,640 Hello? 236 00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:51,400 Hey, it's getting late. Where are you? 237 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,600 - Uh, nowhere. - What does that mean? 238 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,270 Your husband's a monster streaker! 239 00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:59,280 - Dan, would you please be quiet? - What's a monster streaker? 240 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,250 It's nothing. Dan, just, uh... 241 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,180 I did see something on the news about a guy 242 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,480 terrorizing the neighborhood in a monster mask. 243 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,110 That wasn't me. 244 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,420 Chris, what's going on? 245 00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:13,920 It's, well, it's those kids I told you about. 246 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,830 The fifth graders? 247 00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:17,490 They're almost sixth graders. 248 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,260 Goodnight, Chris. Put some pants on. 249 00:13:22,810 --> 00:13:24,640 I know, buddy. 250 00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:28,600 But, yeah. Let's stop so you can put your pants on. 251 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:37,780 Come on. We need to plan our next move. 252 00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:41,150 I'm thinking maybe my next move is to pretend that this never happened. 253 00:13:41,190 --> 00:13:44,320 Summer is over soon, the kids will go back to school and-- 254 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,760 hey, why is your street deserted? 255 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,960 This doesn't look good. 256 00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:54,360 Ow! My foot! 257 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,960 Let's get inside, quickly! 258 00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:09,080 Chris, get up! We've got to get out of here! 259 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,610 Can't move. Save yourself. 260 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:14,650 No, no man left behind-- 261 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,480 This is the way I always thought I'd go. 262 00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:20,590 - Really? - Well, I mean... 263 00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:24,120 they're not zombie kids, but basically. 264 00:14:24,170 --> 00:14:25,860 Wallets. Now. 265 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,170 What? You're mugging us? 266 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,400 I blame cartoons. 267 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,540 You come after us, we come after you. 268 00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,740 You got me? Wallets! 269 00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:42,010 Next time you mess with us, you'll lose more than your money. 270 00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,640 All right, move out. 271 00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:45,910 This is why 272 00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:47,420 I'm never having children. 273 00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,060 They will regret this. 274 00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:59,840 I don't see how. They're meaner than us, 275 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,900 they have no sense of ethics holding them back, 276 00:15:01,950 --> 00:15:03,780 and they out-match us in guerrilla warfare. 277 00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:04,940 So what? 278 00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:06,750 You're just going to give up and go home? 279 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,240 I didn't say that. I can't face Elise like this. 280 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:13,690 She's already lost respect for me because I wouldn't beat up children. 281 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,420 She can be so cruel. 282 00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:18,930 - So, how do we win? - Easy, buddy. 283 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,930 We sink to their level. 284 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,090 I don't even know how we do that. 285 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:27,200 Wait here until I get my hatchet. 286 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,580 Destroy it. Go nuts. 287 00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:41,280 - But it's a kid's bike. - Exactly. 288 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,250 He's going to have to pick on someone closer to home. 289 00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:46,590 I mean, he's not going to walk to our neighborhood. 290 00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:48,150 I don't know. 291 00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:52,060 Well, think of his sad little face when he wakes up tomorrow morning 292 00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:53,530 and sees what we've done. 293 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,290 That's just mean. 294 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,990 Chris, channel your anger. 295 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,130 Remember how your shins felt yesterday? 296 00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:02,660 - Yeah. - And how did it feel to get run over? 297 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,970 - Not good. - And the humiliation 298 00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:06,940 of being mugged by an 11-year-old? 299 00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,810 That made me mad! 300 00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:12,440 Then show it! Let go, Chris! 301 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,210 I suggest on that bike. 302 00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:20,820 Yes. 303 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:24,290 Yes, my evil apprentice. 304 00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:29,360 What have I become? 305 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,370 You have become an avatar of Nemesis, 306 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,500 the Greek goddess of retribution. 307 00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:38,340 Welcome to the fraternity, brother. 308 00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:40,670 I won't do this anymore. 309 00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:44,110 - I'm not a monster. - Fine! 310 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:46,740 Drive me around, I'll do the rest. 311 00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:48,180 Wienie. 312 00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:05,300 Only Ninja Dave's makes lactose-free chocolate chip cookies. 313 00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:07,960 - Uh-huh. - What's wrong, buddy? 314 00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:10,170 - We won. - We didn't win. 315 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:11,540 Not in the moral sense. 316 00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:15,380 But we won in the practical sense, which is the only sense that matters. 317 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,240 Yeah, but they're just kids. 318 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,410 Even if they are hooligans, I don't feel good about wrecking their bikes. 319 00:17:20,450 --> 00:17:22,540 Eh, we taught them a lesson. 320 00:17:22,590 --> 00:17:25,150 - It takes a village, Chris. - I don't know. 321 00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:27,280 How would you like it if someone destroyed your property? 322 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,730 I guess you can answer that question for both of us. 323 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:35,930 Hello? 324 00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:38,130 They did what?! 325 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,600 Seriously? 326 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,230 The lemonade stand kids did this? 327 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,300 I told you they were bad kids. 328 00:17:44,340 --> 00:17:46,370 They will all disappear. 329 00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:48,670 No one will ever know what became of them, 330 00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:51,480 except maybe in a weapons factory in North Korea 331 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,250 where their tiny hands will be put to work assembling-- 332 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,650 - Wait, what? - They destroyed our car. 333 00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:59,710 Don't you see? I took the low road with Dan 334 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,280 and look where it got us. 335 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,120 Maybe you just didn't take it low enough. 336 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,530 That's what I've been saying. 337 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,190 Here's what I've learned from tonight. 338 00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:09,690 When you take the low road, you force the other guy to go lower. 339 00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:12,000 And that makes you go lower and so on. 340 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,130 That's pretty much how it works. 341 00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:16,640 Whoever goes lowest first wins. 342 00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:19,970 No, we're better than this. No more destruction. 343 00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:22,480 - What?! - I'm not better than this. 344 00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:23,840 No destruction! 345 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,180 Fine. Let's give the baby his bottle. 346 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:29,620 This is why the other boys pick on him. 347 00:18:37,830 --> 00:18:38,450 Go. 348 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,260 Go, my minion. 349 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,990 I'm not your minion. 350 00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:46,400 Well, well, well. If it isn't the guy with no car. 351 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,030 I'm here to make peace. 352 00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:50,660 We're not interested. 353 00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:53,010 Yeah, so scram! 354 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,440 - Moose! - What? 355 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,610 How come I don't get to express my opinions? 356 00:18:57,650 --> 00:19:00,620 It undermines the dramatic effect of my statements. 357 00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:02,280 - Oh. - Look, 358 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,650 I tried it Dan's way for a little bit 359 00:19:04,690 --> 00:19:06,750 and I didn't like myself very much. 360 00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:09,160 Huh, we don't like you much either. 361 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:12,320 We've all done things we regret, haven't we? 362 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,760 - Nope. - Uh-uh. 363 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,960 Uh, I ate a frog once. 364 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,730 So let's stop treating each other like enemies 365 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,760 and be friends. 366 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,280 - Ow! - See, mister, it's like this. 367 00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:30,610 Life is a zero-sum game. 368 00:19:30,650 --> 00:19:33,670 If you want something, you have to take it from someone else. 369 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,240 That's not true. You can-- 370 00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:38,910 Ow! Not my shins again. 371 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,950 Guys, the shins. 372 00:19:40,990 --> 00:19:43,820 Ow! Stop it! Ow! 373 00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:46,560 Now I've got you! 374 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,030 Get him! I want that tape! 375 00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,060 Much better. 376 00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:02,910 There it is. 377 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:06,780 And I'd just like to thank the wonderful efforts of-- 378 00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,410 May I have the floor for a moment? 379 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:11,790 I'm a local resident who has been terrorized 380 00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:13,850 by a group of juvenile delinquents. 381 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,320 Here's footage of The Lemonade Stand Gang 382 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,590 throwing lemonade on an elderly lady. 383 00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:26,870 And here's them kicking a citizen unmercifully in the shins. 384 00:20:26,870 --> 00:20:28,240 And here's them kicking a citizen unmercifully in the shins. 385 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,400 Is that my Timmy? 386 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,240 And if you look outside right now, you can see them destroying a car. 387 00:20:37,910 --> 00:20:40,250 Timmy! Stop that at once! 388 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,080 Mom? Uh, I can explain. 389 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,990 Is this what you've been doing? 390 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:47,180 Vandalism? Extortion? 391 00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:50,520 I wondered how your lemonade stand was making $1,000 a week. 392 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,590 - Mom. - Well, no more! 393 00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:55,060 All that money is going to charity. 394 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:56,590 No! 395 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,530 - We were set up! - It was all Timmy's idea! 396 00:20:58,570 --> 00:21:00,230 I regret nothing! 397 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,340 I have to say, Chris, you were right. 398 00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,440 We didn't need to sink to their level. 399 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,070 We just needed to get smarter. 400 00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:11,940 I'm sorry that your car got wrecked. 401 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,310 A master chess player knows 402 00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:17,120 which piece to sacrifice and when. 403 00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:20,610 I heard that Timmy and his goons got sent off to military school. 404 00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:24,150 Wait, won't they just come back even more dangerous? 405 00:21:24,190 --> 00:21:26,660 Well, I suggested reform school, but the parents wouldn't go for it. 406 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,490 Stupid parents. 407 00:21:28,530 --> 00:21:30,360 They're what's wrong with America. 408 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,200 Actually, when I was hiding in the kid's closet, 409 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,800 I got the sense that his mom was involved in his life 410 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,000 and really encouraging him to succeed. 411 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,240 That's the problem! My parents had the right idea, 412 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,510 they let TV raise me. 413 00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,640 And I turned out super-duper. 414 00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:49,450 Let it go. 415 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:54,050 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30528

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