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Another horrible day
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00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,510
made slightly better
with cookies
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00:00:24,540 --> 00:00:26,880
and special lactose-free milk.
4
00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:36,210
Yuck!
5
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:38,720
Dry, unsatisfying!
6
00:00:39,860 --> 00:00:41,420
Take that!
7
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,130
Hey! What the...
8
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,560
Drinking problem much?
9
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,930
There wasn't even a verb
in that sentence,
10
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:54,410
just a lousy gerund.
11
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,430
Where did that
throwing star come from?
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00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,740
Oh, well. At least
I still have my cookies.
13
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:06,240
I can't believe this!
14
00:01:10,890 --> 00:01:13,790
NINJA!!!
15
00:01:26,810 --> 00:01:28,040
? Breakfast time?
16
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:31,050
? One of the most
wonderful times. ?
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00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,550
Morning, Dan.
18
00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:35,050
- Is it?
- Is it morning?
19
00:01:35,090 --> 00:01:37,110
I was attacked
by a ninja last night.
20
00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:38,620
Make me some pancakes.
21
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:40,920
- A ninja?
- Pancakes!
22
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,760
Are you sure it was a ninja?
23
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,760
Of course.
He stole my cookies
24
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,090
and exploded
my lactose-free milk.
25
00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:49,430
- Do ninjas do that?
- This one did.
26
00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:50,960
How do you know it was a--
27
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,160
He was in pajamas.
28
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,100
I'm in pajamas.
Does that make me a ninja?
29
00:01:55,140 --> 00:01:57,200
Not feetie pajamas,
30
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,000
ninja pajamas!
31
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,270
Plus I didn't see him,
ergo ninja.
32
00:02:02,310 --> 00:02:04,440
If you didn't see him, how do
you know he was in pajamas?
33
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:09,240
Hey, not cool!
34
00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:12,260
What's not cool is that
you're trying to confound me
35
00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:13,950
with your stupid logic
36
00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:16,260
when what I need
is help with a problem!
37
00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:18,450
I don't break your plates.
38
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,620
Do I smell pancakes?
39
00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:20,820
Almost ready.
40
00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:22,490
I get mine first.
41
00:02:22,530 --> 00:02:24,000
Hi, Dan. You're up early.
42
00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:25,760
I was attacked
by a ninja last night.
43
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,270
He stole my cookies.
44
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,700
I'm sure it wasn't a ninja.
45
00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:30,210
You too?
46
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,870
If it wasn't a ninja,
where did I get this?
47
00:02:33,910 --> 00:02:35,440
My table!
48
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,610
Now tell me it's not a ninja.
49
00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:40,640
The Koshugi clan.
But how did they find me?
50
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,310
- What was that?
- Uh, nothing.
51
00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:44,220
I, um, I have to go.
52
00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:45,980
Dan, we'll help you
with your problem.
53
00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:47,820
Finally, a voice of reason.
54
00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:49,790
Why can't you be helpful,
like her?
55
00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:51,800
- What?! I'm always helping--
- Bup bup bup.
56
00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:53,820
It's probably a good idea
if you guys wait here
57
00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:56,460
with the doors locked
and the shades drawn.
58
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:59,470
And don't answer the door
for anyone.
59
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,070
Did you notice
anything strange right there?
60
00:03:04,110 --> 00:03:06,510
You mean that I still have
no pancakes in front of me?
61
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:08,410
No, Elise was acting funny.
62
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:10,410
I told you not to get married.
63
00:03:22,730 --> 00:03:24,890
And another reason you
shouldn't have gotten married--
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00:03:24,930 --> 00:03:26,400
Can we just drop it?
65
00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:28,160
No, this needs to be said.
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00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,830
Your pancakes have suffered.
67
00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:32,170
I'll get it.
68
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,910
- What did I tell you?
- Pants first, then shoes!
69
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:44,610
I told you not to get the door.
70
00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:46,950
- But it was you.
- Or so you thought.
71
00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:48,780
Wait. What?
72
00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:51,250
- Nice sword.
- Thank you.
73
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:53,450
Now take me
to where you saw the ninja.
74
00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:57,680
So I'm confused.
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00:03:57,730 --> 00:03:59,200
As always.
76
00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:01,030
You believe in ninjas now.
77
00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:03,060
What makes you think
I didn't believe in them before?
78
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,570
Yeah. You shouldn't assume.
79
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,590
Yet when Dan said he was
attacked by a ninja,
80
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:07,970
you were skeptical.
81
00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:10,630
If Dan said he was attacked
by a tiger, I'd be skeptical.
82
00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:12,300
Doesn't mean
I don't believe in tigers.
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00:04:12,340 --> 00:04:15,210
Another excellent point.
She's kicking your butt, Chris.
84
00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:17,080
It's not a competition, Dan.
85
00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:19,080
But if it were,
she'd be winning.
86
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,350
These tracks indicate
a split-toe sock
87
00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:22,980
with climbing spikes
on the bottom.
88
00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:25,580
Also the throwing star,
or shuriken.
89
00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:27,150
Shuriken!
90
00:04:27,190 --> 00:04:28,920
I'd say you got yourself
a ninja problem.
91
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,620
- I knew it!
- Looks like the Koshugi clan.
92
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:33,060
The whatsa-whosits?
93
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,960
A ninja family that has lived
in the shadows for centuries.
94
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,430
The story takes place in Japan.
95
00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:41,930
Several hundred years ago,
a man named Jiro Koshugi
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00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:43,460
Iived a life of peace.
97
00:04:43,510 --> 00:04:45,670
Jiro was good at two things,
98
00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:47,180
hiding...
99
00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:54,010
...and making cookies.
100
00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:56,140
Oh, wait a minute.
101
00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,450
This guy doesn't make cookies.
102
00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:00,510
This guy steals cookies.
103
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,250
I'm getting to that.
104
00:05:02,290 --> 00:05:03,820
You may proceed.
105
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:07,490
During the chaos
of the Sengoku period,
106
00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:10,430
military conflict
between rival factions
107
00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:12,440
was constant.
108
00:05:36,990 --> 00:05:39,160
It was in one of these battles
109
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,760
that Jiro's cookie shop
was burned to the ground.
110
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,170
My-- oh, my cookie shop!
111
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,230
Why?!
112
00:05:50,010 --> 00:05:52,500
He dedicated his life
to revenge.
113
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:55,030
I guess he's not all bad.
114
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,100
They say
he never baked again.
115
00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:59,340
Instead...
116
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,850
he became the most feared
assassin in the land.
117
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:05,410
He was called Shinobi no mono.
118
00:06:05,460 --> 00:06:07,120
Stop making up words.
119
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,320
It means
"one who steals away."
120
00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:13,690
We call them the ninja.
121
00:06:13,730 --> 00:06:16,700
Soon other dispossessed
dessert-makers joined him,
122
00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:19,700
and he trained them
in the art of ninjutsu.
123
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:22,530
So why did this guy
gank my cookies?
124
00:06:22,570 --> 00:06:25,570
I told you. Jiro stopped
making cookies for himself,
125
00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:27,580
and his clan
followed in his footsteps.
126
00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:30,770
They've taken an oath never
to make sweets of their own.
127
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:33,720
- So they have to steal them?
- I'm afraid so.
128
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,550
Man, I hate me some ninjas.
129
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:37,050
Can I ask a question?
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00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:38,420
If you must.
131
00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:40,890
How do you know so much
about this stuff?
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00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,320
Uh...
133
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,190
no reason.
I see a lot of ninja movies.
134
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,460
- And the katana?
- It's not actually a katana.
135
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:48,970
It's a ninjato.
136
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,770
Either way, I've never seen you
carry a sword before.
137
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,360
I can carry a sword
when I want to.
138
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,270
Yeah, Chris.
Second amendment.
139
00:06:56,310 --> 00:06:58,270
Okay, I'm not saying
you can't carry a sword.
140
00:06:58,310 --> 00:06:59,800
I'm just saying
it's new behavior.
141
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,640
Combined with the fact
that you seem to have
142
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,140
knowledge that relates directly
to the situation we find ourselves in,
143
00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:07,280
I think an explanation
is in order.
144
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,340
Wow. That is the most
145
00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:11,320
I've ever heard you say
at one time.
146
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,650
That's because you never ask me
about my tomato garden.
147
00:07:14,690 --> 00:07:16,220
Well?
148
00:07:16,260 --> 00:07:18,460
Okay, you know I had a life
before we met, right?
149
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:21,830
- Uh-huh.
- Well, this isn't just any throwing star.
150
00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:24,730
That's right.
It belongs to the Koshugi clan.
151
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:26,240
See? I listen.
152
00:07:26,270 --> 00:07:29,070
It's the ninja clan I ran afoul of
when I lived in Japan.
153
00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,770
So this is your fault?
154
00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,970
My cookies are gone
because of you?
155
00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,530
I don't know.
156
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,210
If they knew where I was,
157
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:38,410
they would have
attacked me directly.
158
00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:40,710
Regrettably, you're involved now,
159
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:43,520
and the ninja's next step
will likely be to kill you.
160
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:46,920
Kill me?
Over my dead body!
161
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,020
Wait.
How did you run afoul
162
00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:52,690
of a ninja clan
when you were 14?
163
00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:55,320
Well, it was a long time ago.
164
00:07:55,370 --> 00:07:58,330
It's a long, long story, and--
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00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:00,100
I don't want
to talk about it.
166
00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:02,110
But I tell you
everything about me.
167
00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:04,130
I know.
168
00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:05,470
Enough already.
169
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:07,410
What's important is
we find this ninja
170
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,310
and make him buy me
more cookies.
171
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:10,870
- But--
- Dan's right.
172
00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:12,510
We've got to do something
about this ninja
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00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:15,110
before he strikes again.
We can't just wait around.
174
00:08:15,150 --> 00:08:16,710
Luckily, I have a plan.
175
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:21,690
Elise,
176
00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:24,420
my ancient and sworn enemy.
177
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,930
What a fortuitous coincidence
178
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,130
that stealing the angry
little man's abominable cookies
179
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:32,230
would lead me to you.
180
00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:34,200
Unfortunately for your friends,
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00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,830
they know too much.
182
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:40,470
Who eats cookies
made without butter anyway?!
183
00:08:52,710 --> 00:08:54,980
Okay, come out
and let us take a look.
184
00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:56,810
I don't know about this.
185
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,950
Oh, come on.
186
00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:04,720
He doesn't look like me at all.
187
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,420
Can you slouch a little?
188
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:07,930
And be more handsome.
189
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,480
I still don't get
why I'm dressing up as Dan.
190
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:13,160
We told you.
You're a Dan decoy.
191
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,600
Right, but why?
192
00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:17,360
To lure the ninja out of hiding.
When he attacks you--
193
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,100
Okay, there's the part
I don't like.
194
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,660
Well, we can't risk me, can we?
195
00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,170
I'm precious!
196
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:24,770
What, and I'm expendable?
197
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,440
Let's just say nonvital.
It's nicer.
198
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,640
No, it's not that
you're expendable, Chris.
199
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,550
It's that the next step
will be for the ninja
200
00:09:31,580 --> 00:09:33,240
to poison Dan somehow.
201
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:35,580
And we're hoping
he poisons you instead.
202
00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:38,160
I keep coming back
203
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:40,680
to the whole "not liking
this plan at all" thing.
204
00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:43,890
Look, we don't know how the ninja
will try and poison Dan--
205
00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:45,400
maybe his food,
maybe something else--
206
00:09:45,430 --> 00:09:47,190
but what we do know
is that ninjas
207
00:09:47,230 --> 00:09:49,260
calibrate their poisons
very carefully,
208
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,570
and you're bigger than Dan.
209
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,570
Because you keep eating.
210
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:55,700
So if the ninja
poisons you instead,
211
00:09:55,740 --> 00:09:57,210
you probably won't die.
212
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,370
And you just said, "Probably."
213
00:09:59,410 --> 00:10:01,610
I'm almost positive.
214
00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:04,410
Oh, she's almost positive@
Quit being a baby!
215
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:06,920
- Please?
- All right.
216
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,890
Okay, now act like Dan.
217
00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:13,390
Hey, I'm Dan,
218
00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:16,330
and I'm angry,
219
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:17,950
very angry.
220
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,830
- ldiot.
- Dan, shh.
221
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:21,330
He's doing it wrong!
222
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:25,170
I am much more suave, debonair,
and sophisticated than that!
223
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,170
Yes, Dan, that's a very debonair
stain you have on your shirt.
224
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,110
I'll have you know
I have sophistication
225
00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:32,470
- coming out the wazoo!
- Yeah, l--
226
00:10:32,510 --> 00:10:35,670
I get mad at everything.
Then I yell a lot.
227
00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:38,410
And I sure don't appreciate
228
00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:40,650
my friend Chris.
He's-- ow!
229
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,610
Get him!
230
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,150
Hey, could I get
a little help?
231
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,460
I got this dart in my neck.
232
00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:05,100
Flying monkeys?
233
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,740
This time of year?
234
00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:10,510
Someone call the zoo!
235
00:11:10,550 --> 00:11:12,980
Why must you torment me?
236
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:15,820
Why can't you be satisfied
with flying?
237
00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:18,450
Help! Someone!
This is very confusing.
238
00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:44,810
Gotcha!
239
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:15,940
Dan?
240
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:18,070
You saved my life!
241
00:12:25,790 --> 00:12:28,590
He exploded!
We won!
242
00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,530
He didn't explode.
He escaped.
243
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,500
Well, that's completely
unsatisfying.
244
00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:42,900
So I said,
"They're not my radishes.
245
00:12:42,940 --> 00:12:45,380
You're the one
with your left blinker on."
246
00:12:45,410 --> 00:12:46,930
Chris?
247
00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:48,140
Oh, hey, Glendale.
248
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,950
Aw, man, this guy's heavy.
249
00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:00,480
Sorry.
250
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,930
You ever think of skipping
a meal once in a while?
251
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,430
Quit complaining, Dan.
252
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:06,830
Oh, sure, you can say that.
You've got the light end.
253
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,560
Chris doesn't have a light end.
254
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,570
Hold him up
so I can open the door.
255
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,400
No problem.
Ohh! Heavy.
256
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:14,870
- What's this?
- What's what?
257
00:13:18,010 --> 00:13:21,340
"Shinobi no mono wa
kanarasu katsu."
258
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:24,440
It's gibberish!
The ninja's toying with us!
259
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,040
It's not gibberish.
It's Japanese.
260
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,750
This is a formal challenge.
261
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:30,020
Like who looks better
in evening wear?
262
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:33,050
Like single combat to the death.
263
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,820
A duel will settle things
once and for all.
264
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,260
If I win, the Koshugi clan
will leave us alone.
265
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,270
If I lose, I'll be dead.
266
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:45,000
I'm willing to take that risk.
267
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,370
Help me get Chris inside.
268
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,030
Where's Chris?
269
00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:49,630
Bushes.
270
00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:58,340
Onto the couch,
one, two, three!
271
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,150
Hey, take it easy.
272
00:14:02,190 --> 00:14:03,780
So when do we leave?
273
00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:06,290
We? It's single combat,
one-on-one.
274
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,720
- I'll just watch.
- No, it's a sacred ritual.
275
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,190
No one's allowed to spectate.
276
00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:12,060
Could someone
bring me some water?
277
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,570
- Where is it?
- It's secret. You can't come.
278
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,070
If you win,
I get my cookies back, right?
279
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,160
I'm pretty sure
your cookies are gone.
280
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,670
They've most likely been eaten.
281
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:22,170
By ninjas?
282
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:23,540
Yes, Dan.
283
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:25,040
But that's not fair!
284
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,540
Oh, my head.
285
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:28,510
The Koshugi clan
doesn't play fair.
286
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:30,810
They're ninjas,
assassins, spies.
287
00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:33,410
- And cookie thieves?
- Yes.
288
00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:35,350
I hope you kill that guy.
289
00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:37,410
I will, or die trying.
290
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,620
Either way.
I just don't understand
291
00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,650
what your blood feud has to do
with my cookies.
292
00:14:41,690 --> 00:14:42,890
Nothing.
293
00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:45,160
The ninja was just stealing
your cookies to eat them,
294
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,490
but when I showed up,
the feud was rekindled.
295
00:14:47,530 --> 00:14:50,060
Of course, since you were already in
the middle, you became a target.
296
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,900
So if you die,
will they still come after me?
297
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,870
Yes. I already told you
you're involved now,
298
00:14:56,910 --> 00:14:59,270
and if I die, I can only
assume you'll be next,
299
00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:00,870
then probably Chris.
300
00:15:00,910 --> 00:15:04,440
Well, then I would appreciate,
as a favor to me, that you not die.
301
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:05,950
Okay, Dan, for you.
302
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:08,480
Hey, it's not just about me.
303
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,550
As long as that ninja's alive,
no one's cookies are safe,
304
00:15:11,590 --> 00:15:12,990
including mine.
305
00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:15,690
Wait.
What's this about combat?
306
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:18,130
Never mind.
Just get some rest.
307
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,720
Where am l? Uhh.
308
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,130
- Will you stay here with Chris?
- Of course.
309
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,300
Eat anything you want
in the fridge!
310
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,910
Hey, Chris.
311
00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:34,540
Open wide!
312
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:37,780
Here's a nice pastrami
sandwich for you.
313
00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:43,650
Stop it!
Hey, where did Elise go?
314
00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:45,620
Shut up.
315
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:47,090
Where are you going?
316
00:15:47,130 --> 00:15:48,620
Out.
317
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,920
Can you bring me some...
318
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,490
water?
319
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,770
I'm just so thirsty.
320
00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:04,780
Sir, it is illegal to dial 911
with a nonemergency.
321
00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:07,790
It feels like an emergency.
322
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:11,310
Plus there's still
all those flying monkeys.
323
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,620
Sir, unless the flying monkeys
are physically attacking you--
324
00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:16,360
And I've been poisoned.
325
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,760
Poisoned?
Well, that is an emergency, sir.
326
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,560
Oh, good!
Have them bring water.
327
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,330
Paramedics are on the way.
328
00:16:25,870 --> 00:16:28,360
Hey, guys!
329
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:31,810
Yep. He's been poisoned,
all right.
330
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,240
Clear!
331
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:39,280
What did you do that for?
I just said he was poisoned!
332
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,010
I don't know! I panicked!
333
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:44,680
Great, rookie. Now he's poisoned
and unconscious.
334
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,690
I said I was sorry.
335
00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:48,920
You know,
I don't think you did.
336
00:17:08,450 --> 00:17:11,380
Very sneaky.
337
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,260
Whew. That was close.
338
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,800
Wow.
That was almost dangerous.
339
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,400
Where could she have gone?
340
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,430
So much walking!
341
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,470
Oh, hey, that was so not fair!
342
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:45,970
Fair? You're a ninja!
Finish him.
343
00:18:46,010 --> 00:18:48,480
All right, all right.
Hang on. You win.
344
00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:50,480
You surrender?
345
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,810
Yeah, totally.
346
00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:53,940
Aw, you said to the death!
347
00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:56,720
That's true.
It's on the scroll you sent.
348
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,660
Dude, seriously, come on!
349
00:18:58,690 --> 00:19:00,680
You be quiet, cookie thief!
350
00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:02,560
I'd like to spare your life.
351
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,460
Awesome! You should!
352
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:07,360
But how can I be sure
your clan will leave me alone?
353
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,200
Because I'm the whole clan.
354
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,700
How could that be?
355
00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:14,040
There were 15 or so of you.
356
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,940
Yeah, that.
357
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:18,570
Well, it was the annual
Koshugi clan barbecue
358
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:20,370
and training retreat
on Mount Fuji.
359
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,010
I couldn't make it because I had
a wicked case of head lice
360
00:19:23,050 --> 00:19:24,980
and they didn't want me
giving it to everybody.
361
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:26,650
Anyway...
362
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:29,050
? We are the ninjas,
mighty, mighty ninjas ?
363
00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:31,580
? Wherever we go,
people want to know ?
364
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:34,390
? Who we are, so we tell them ?
365
00:19:34,430 --> 00:19:37,060
? We are the ninjas,
the mighty, mighty ninjas ?
366
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,590
? Wherever we go,
people want to know ?
367
00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,400
? Who we are ?
368
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,400
- * So we tell them-- *
- Aah!
369
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:53,940
An entire clan of ninja
wiped out
370
00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:55,570
just because they were too cheap
371
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,610
to rent a bus
with antilock brakes.
372
00:19:57,650 --> 00:19:59,450
Ninjas.
373
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,820
As assassins,
they're unparalleled,
374
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:04,760
but they've always skimped
on rental transportation.
375
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,450
Are we going to kill him
or what?
376
00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:07,960
What's with this guy?
377
00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:09,930
He's still mad
about his cookies.
378
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,130
Dude, there's got to be
something we can work out.
379
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,500
Maybe there is.
380
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,470
Wow.
I swore I'd never do this.
381
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,800
Guess I'm not a ninja anymore.
382
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,400
We've all had to give up
that dream at some point.
383
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,780
- What will you do now?
- Don't know.
384
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:27,380
I saved up some
of my ninja money.
385
00:20:27,380 --> 00:20:27,440
I saved up some
of my ninja money.
386
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,070
Plus there was a pretty big
insurance settlement
387
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,580
when my clan was wiped out.
388
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,210
I think I might
open a business.
389
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,980
Cookies! Now!
390
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,040
These are good.
391
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,560
Where have you been?
392
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,090
Hospital.
Hey, do I smell cookies?
393
00:20:46,130 --> 00:20:48,500
- Mine!
- Dan, let him have a cookie.
394
00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:50,000
Fine.
395
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,660
Bet you're not so tough
without that sword.
396
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,640
- Who's this?
- He's the ninja.
397
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,910
Aah! No more
flying monkeys, please.
398
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:01,500
Former ninja.
399
00:21:01,550 --> 00:21:03,170
You can call me Dave.
400
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,010
Oh. Hi, Dave.
401
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,620
I'm glad
we didn't kill Ninja Dave.
402
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,120
Hey, hey, me too!
403
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,150
On the house.
Cheers, guys.
404
00:21:16,060 --> 00:21:18,390
Ah, the sweet taste of revenge
405
00:21:18,430 --> 00:21:20,020
and chocolate chips.
406
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,800
Just kidding!
407
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:30,400
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