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1
00:00:03,622 --> 00:00:04,885
Hey, Pop.
2
00:00:06,534 --> 00:00:07,558
Eddie...
3
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,788
I have told you never to
sneak up on me like that.
4
00:00:11,334 --> 00:00:12,700
Sorry, Pop.
5
00:00:12,806 --> 00:00:15,002
I might cut my
sideburns crooked...
6
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:17,713
and ruin my button-down
Ivy League image.
7
00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:21,289
Pop.
8
00:00:22,438 --> 00:00:25,340
There's something I
want to ask you. Eddie...
9
00:00:25,703 --> 00:00:30,266
if I cut my head off with this razor,
I'm sending you straight to your room.
10
00:00:31,174 --> 00:00:35,578
Gee, Pop, all I want to ask you is if
you'd give me a picture of yourself.
11
00:00:35,463 --> 00:00:37,159
A picture of myself? What for?
12
00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:41,756
I don't want to embarrass you, Pop, but
you are the handsomest father around.
13
00:00:44,231 --> 00:00:46,530
Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on.
14
00:00:46,535 --> 00:00:49,130
And you're the neatest
father a kid could have.
15
00:00:49,096 --> 00:00:52,362
Go on. What are you
stopping for? You're doing fine.
16
00:00:52,295 --> 00:00:54,321
Well, I just wanted
a picture of you...
17
00:00:54,312 --> 00:00:57,771
so I could send it in to the
Father of the Year contest.
18
00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:00,653
Me? Father of the Year?
19
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,932
No, Eddie.
20
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,541
I hardly think so, Son.
21
00:01:11,881 --> 00:01:14,783
Okay, Pop, if you don't
want me to enter you.
22
00:01:14,728 --> 00:01:17,061
Come back here
this instant, Son.
23
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:23,250
You'll find a photograph of
your father in the top drawer.
24
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:26,944
Thanks, Pop.
25
00:01:28,617 --> 00:01:31,985
Of course, it's really not
fair to the other fathers.
26
00:01:31,913 --> 00:01:36,476
Once the contest officials see
my photograph, I win hands down.
27
00:02:48,172 --> 00:02:50,607
Aunt Lily, I don't know
what to do with this.
28
00:02:50,572 --> 00:02:53,542
A few shots of penicillin
should clear that up in no time.
29
00:02:53,484 --> 00:02:57,922
Grandpa, this lump of clay is
Marilyn's new project for art class.
30
00:02:57,997 --> 00:03:00,523
She has to sculpt
something out of it.
31
00:03:00,525 --> 00:03:03,256
Maybe I could do a bust
of a classical Greek...
32
00:03:03,212 --> 00:03:05,340
like Apollo or Achilles, or...
33
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,615
Seymour. Who's Seymour?
34
00:03:07,853 --> 00:03:09,344
Who's Seymour?
35
00:03:09,836 --> 00:03:11,498
Seymour Akalatzis.
36
00:03:11,661 --> 00:03:14,893
He was a famous Greek
taxidermist back in Transylvania.
37
00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:18,596
He used to stuff all the guys'
mother-in-laws for free room and board.
38
00:03:18,509 --> 00:03:20,876
No, I need someone
a little more interesting.
39
00:03:23,373 --> 00:03:25,137
Hi, everybody. Hi!
40
00:03:25,134 --> 00:03:26,534
Hello, dear.
41
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:30,726
What's this pile
of junk doing here?
42
00:03:30,734 --> 00:03:33,397
Herman, this is
Marilyn's art project.
43
00:03:33,966 --> 00:03:35,901
Marilyn's art... Oh.
44
00:03:35,918 --> 00:03:38,888
Say, listen, that
shows lots of talent.
45
00:03:38,926 --> 00:03:41,259
Lots of style there. Very good.
46
00:03:41,230 --> 00:03:43,995
Herman, Marilyn
hasn't even started yet.
47
00:03:45,838 --> 00:03:48,899
It's for my art class and I'm
trying to think of a good subject.
48
00:03:48,846 --> 00:03:49,870
Like what?
49
00:03:49,902 --> 00:03:53,270
Well, Marilyn thought maybe
something like a Greek god...
50
00:03:53,198 --> 00:03:56,362
a masculine face with
finely chiseled features...
51
00:03:56,591 --> 00:04:00,028
a head that will show
the beauty and strength...
52
00:04:00,271 --> 00:04:02,001
of perfect manhood.
53
00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:06,370
A Greek god...
54
00:04:06,959 --> 00:04:08,689
a masculine face...
55
00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:11,873
the beauty and strength
of perfect manhood.
56
00:04:11,855 --> 00:04:15,155
Marilyn dear, he's standing
right here in this room.
57
00:04:15,247 --> 00:04:18,115
Thank you. But I am
too nervous to pose.
58
00:04:18,575 --> 00:04:21,374
No! No! No! No!
59
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,488
Me. Me. Me.
60
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,844
Herman Munster.
61
00:04:23,855 --> 00:04:26,848
Father of the Year
candidate, and Greek god.
62
00:04:27,632 --> 00:04:30,397
I hate to throw my
modesty to the winds...
63
00:04:30,352 --> 00:04:31,820
but let's face facts.
64
00:04:31,824 --> 00:04:35,488
Herman, I've never been
so seasick before on dry land.
65
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:44,111
You know, If Michelangelo
had used me for a model...
66
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,073
there's no telling how
far he could have gone.
67
00:04:48,081 --> 00:04:50,380
Herman, would you
mind closing your mouth...
68
00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:52,845
while we're trying to turn
you into a work of art?
69
00:04:52,816 --> 00:04:54,648
Hey, Pop. Guess what?
70
00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:57,543
I just mailed your picture to
the Father of the Year contest...
71
00:04:57,489 --> 00:04:59,082
and guess what the winner gets?
72
00:04:59,089 --> 00:05:02,491
Lay the goodies on me, Clyde.
First, there's a trip to Hawaii.
73
00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:03,476
Oh, boy.
74
00:05:03,505 --> 00:05:06,475
I better start packing my baggies
and wax down my surfboard.
75
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:08,852
I'll do it for you,
Pop. Thank you.
76
00:05:09,457 --> 00:05:12,621
And in addition, the
winner gets four new suits...
77
00:05:12,785 --> 00:05:14,686
a whole new wardrobe...
78
00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:17,899
and a lifetime supply
of frozen enchiladas.
79
00:05:18,066 --> 00:05:19,227
Yummy.
80
00:05:20,049 --> 00:05:22,416
Won't it be fun to have
a Father of the Year...
81
00:05:22,386 --> 00:05:24,287
in our very own family?
82
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,748
Herman will never make it!
83
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,127
What do you mean,
"Herman will never make it"?
84
00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:34,058
Well, in the first place,
Herman has a colossal conceit.
85
00:05:34,227 --> 00:05:35,889
I do not. You do so.
86
00:05:35,891 --> 00:05:37,154
I do not.
87
00:05:37,298 --> 00:05:39,631
I have a plain,
ordinary conceit.
88
00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:42,571
And you're just being jealous.
89
00:05:42,547 --> 00:05:45,073
Just because you're not
up for Father of the Year...
90
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:47,239
you're acting like a big baby.
91
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:49,767
Yourself.
92
00:05:49,779 --> 00:05:53,375
Grandpa, now stop this bickering
or I'll send you up to your slab.
93
00:05:53,299 --> 00:05:55,632
Well, there's
one thing for sure.
94
00:05:55,635 --> 00:05:59,663
That bust of Uncle Herman is
going to get me an A in art class.
95
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:16,775
All righty, I'll
call it Confetti.
96
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,326
It's a nutty business here.
97
00:06:21,044 --> 00:06:23,138
Hello, Professor
Von Fagenspahen.
98
00:06:23,124 --> 00:06:26,322
I brought in my sculpturing
project a little early.
99
00:06:26,292 --> 00:06:29,820
Aren't you a beauty, sweetie
student. I wish everybody was like you.
100
00:06:29,749 --> 00:06:34,084
Here, hold this. Let's take a little
peek here and see what we got here.
101
00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:39,369
For goodness sake, what is it?
102
00:06:39,381 --> 00:06:41,577
It's my sculpture, Professor.
103
00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:46,044
Such imagination!
104
00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:51,387
You have drawn from the very
depths of your creativity to fashion this.
105
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:56,648
You have captured
man in his very essence...
106
00:06:56,598 --> 00:06:58,590
right down to the button.
107
00:06:59,093 --> 00:07:01,392
Get a load of that schnoz there.
108
00:07:01,717 --> 00:07:03,879
I really owe a lot to the model.
109
00:07:03,862 --> 00:07:07,094
This is primitive man
in all of his rawness.
110
00:07:07,254 --> 00:07:10,156
This is beautiful
savagery. This is...
111
00:07:11,702 --> 00:07:14,262
But model? What model?
112
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:18,371
My Uncle Herman, he modeled
for me and I just sculpted.
113
00:07:18,998 --> 00:07:21,433
Wait a minute, hold
here the horses, darling.
114
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:25,962
You mean to say that there is someone
like this alive around here someplace?
115
00:07:26,199 --> 00:07:30,398
Yes. He lives at home with
us and he's just 151 years old.
116
00:07:31,991 --> 00:07:33,550
A hundred and fifty...
117
00:07:33,559 --> 00:07:36,427
Wait a minute, once
more, what did you say?
118
00:07:36,663 --> 00:07:40,259
I said he's my uncle
and he's 151 years old.
119
00:07:41,079 --> 00:07:44,777
That's what I thought you said.
Excuse me a minute, darling.
120
00:07:44,759 --> 00:07:47,058
I will take this now, thank you.
121
00:07:54,103 --> 00:07:55,867
Hello, Uncle Herman.
122
00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:59,027
Hi, Marilyn, how was school?
123
00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:03,126
Just wonderful, my art professor
really loved the bust I did of you.
124
00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:05,661
He even took a photograph
of it to show his colleagues.
125
00:08:05,624 --> 00:08:06,785
Goody!
126
00:08:07,096 --> 00:08:08,587
What are you two doing here?
127
00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:10,092
I was just telling
Uncle Herman...
128
00:08:10,104 --> 00:08:11,970
how much the Professor
loved my project.
129
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,952
It really knocked him out.
130
00:08:14,105 --> 00:08:17,940
Well, your Uncle Herman's looks
have always bowled people over.
131
00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:20,061
Mom, has the mail come yet?
132
00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:23,391
I want to see what the committee
said about Pop being Father of the Year.
133
00:08:23,321 --> 00:08:24,789
Not yet, dear.
134
00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:27,627
By the way, Herman,
what are you whittling?
135
00:08:27,704 --> 00:08:30,105
I'm doing a
self-portrait in wood.
136
00:08:30,265 --> 00:08:31,733
If I can make it
do me justice...
137
00:08:31,737 --> 00:08:35,105
I might mass produce them
and make a million dollars.
138
00:08:35,321 --> 00:08:38,052
That's a neat piece of wood,
Pop. Where'd you get it?
139
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:42,345
I found it standing out on the front
porch. Standing out on the front porch?
140
00:08:42,361 --> 00:08:45,820
Herman, what do you think
is holding up the front porch?
141
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,002
Are you insinuating that
I'm fatheaded enough...
142
00:08:48,985 --> 00:08:51,386
to remove a piece of wood
that was supporting the porch?
143
00:08:51,353 --> 00:08:52,685
Precisely.
144
00:08:52,858 --> 00:08:54,952
Poppycock and balderdash.
145
00:09:12,026 --> 00:09:13,585
Dumb old porch.
146
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:25,566
Now, I have in my art
class a Marilyn Munster...
147
00:09:25,851 --> 00:09:27,979
a very pretty little chicken.
148
00:09:28,091 --> 00:09:32,529
Anyway, she is making this
an art project, a sculpture.
149
00:09:32,955 --> 00:09:36,448
I want to show you what she did.
150
00:09:37,147 --> 00:09:38,479
Hmm.
151
00:09:38,492 --> 00:09:42,122
She seems to have captured a perfect
likeness of a prehistoric caveman...
152
00:09:42,044 --> 00:09:43,672
but what of it?
153
00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:47,521
What if I told you that
this prehistoric caveman...
154
00:09:47,452 --> 00:09:50,354
is Marilyn's uncle
and he's alive?
155
00:09:50,908 --> 00:09:52,570
And breathing yet.
156
00:09:52,796 --> 00:09:53,796
I'd say that...
157
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:57,188
either you've been having
archeological hallucinations or...
158
00:09:57,116 --> 00:09:58,744
you've been hitting the sauce.
159
00:09:58,749 --> 00:10:01,810
Knock it off with the
sauce. I'm off the sauce.
160
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,068
What I am telling you
is true here, Professor.
161
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:08,718
Do you realize what this
means? What it is we got here?
162
00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:13,973
If we could prove that our
missing link here is actually alive...
163
00:10:14,493 --> 00:10:17,292
then we could become
famous in scientific circles.
164
00:10:17,246 --> 00:10:21,308
Knock it off with the scientific
circles, that's for the birds.
165
00:10:21,534 --> 00:10:25,027
If we can prove that
this missing link is alive...
166
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,755
we'll be filthy rich!
167
00:10:27,005 --> 00:10:28,940
In the ocean, we'll tell
everybody to jump...
168
00:10:28,925 --> 00:10:31,588
the dean, the Board of
Regents, the whole schmeer!
169
00:10:31,549 --> 00:10:34,713
Professor Von Fagenspahen,
you are a genius.
170
00:10:34,654 --> 00:10:36,714
Naturally, I'm German.
171
00:10:37,822 --> 00:10:40,883
The first order of the day is
to write to our missing link...
172
00:10:40,830 --> 00:10:43,197
and have him come here
for a physical examination...
173
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:45,193
then we'll cash in on him.
174
00:10:47,390 --> 00:10:49,723
You may be a
prehistoric monster...
175
00:10:49,694 --> 00:10:52,129
but to me, you're
a beauty-sweetie.
176
00:11:03,935 --> 00:11:05,528
The mail's here.
177
00:11:07,871 --> 00:11:09,271
Oh, my.
178
00:11:09,343 --> 00:11:11,778
That mailman certainly
keeps his distance...
179
00:11:11,743 --> 00:11:14,804
since that time Spot
buried him in the backyard.
180
00:11:14,879 --> 00:11:17,405
Some people get
so annoyed with pets.
181
00:11:19,807 --> 00:11:21,833
Goody, there's one for me.
182
00:11:25,663 --> 00:11:28,428
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
183
00:11:31,328 --> 00:11:34,856
Oh, boy, what? Listen.
184
00:11:35,136 --> 00:11:36,399
"Dear Mr. Munster...
185
00:11:36,416 --> 00:11:39,716
"my colleague and I were very
impressed with your photograph.
186
00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:42,277
"Therefore we would like you
to appear before our committee...
187
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,677
at the State University at
your earliest convenience."
188
00:11:47,008 --> 00:11:48,738
I've done it again.
189
00:11:48,864 --> 00:11:51,299
Herman, what are
you talking about?
190
00:11:51,457 --> 00:11:53,551
It should be obvious, Grandpa...
191
00:11:53,537 --> 00:11:57,599
those discriminating judges down at
the University are about to elect me...
192
00:11:57,505 --> 00:11:59,235
Father of the Year.
193
00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:02,943
It's that contest Eddie
entered my picture in.
194
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,970
Herman, I'm so excited!
195
00:12:06,305 --> 00:12:08,274
My husband, a celebrity.
196
00:12:09,633 --> 00:12:12,364
Now I know how
Lady Bird must feel.
197
00:12:13,825 --> 00:12:16,624
Father of the Year
Committee, here I come.
198
00:12:25,666 --> 00:12:26,895
Gentlemen, that letter...
199
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:29,645
should have reached this
Herman Munster, a long time ago.
200
00:12:29,602 --> 00:12:32,663
If he doesn't show up, we're going
to blow a bundle, you know that?
201
00:12:32,611 --> 00:12:37,049
I know. I just hope he looks like this
picture, that this isn't some kind of joke.
202
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,024
But this just can't
be. It's impossible.
203
00:12:39,011 --> 00:12:43,381
Do you expect me to believe that a thing
like this is living in this day and age?
204
00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:45,827
You're right, Doctor. We
must have been crazy to think...
205
00:12:45,795 --> 00:12:48,196
that we could have
discovered a real missing link.
206
00:12:48,163 --> 00:12:50,860
I'm so excited. I could
go back on the sauce.
207
00:12:58,659 --> 00:13:02,357
I guess you could say I come
from the school of hard knocks.
208
00:13:04,771 --> 00:13:07,070
Mr. Munster?
209
00:13:07,172 --> 00:13:09,573
That's me, in the flesh.
210
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,589
What green flesh, yet.
211
00:13:12,612 --> 00:13:16,777
Look at that face. But
he's real! It's incredible!
212
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:19,461
Say, what are you
guys whispering about?
213
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,759
This is a big day for all of us.
214
00:13:22,276 --> 00:13:26,543
Let's get on with the interview, so
you can lay all those prizes on me.
215
00:13:28,293 --> 00:13:29,317
Excuse me...
216
00:13:29,349 --> 00:13:31,215
but I didn't hear what you said.
217
00:13:31,205 --> 00:13:34,039
My ear didn't get a
good grip on your words.
218
00:13:34,308 --> 00:13:35,503
Prizes.
219
00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:41,238
You know, all the neat junk you're going
to give me for being Father of the Year.
220
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:43,253
Prizes? Father?
221
00:13:43,877 --> 00:13:48,042
Excuse me, my colleagues and I have to have
a little conference, if you don't mind.
222
00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:50,740
Please, colleagues,
in the corner, please.
223
00:13:53,094 --> 00:13:55,723
Did you hear what he
said? He wants prizes.
224
00:13:55,718 --> 00:13:59,314
And he says he's a father.
Take a look at that puss on him.
225
00:13:59,237 --> 00:14:02,139
I'd hate to see what
his offshoot looks like.
226
00:14:02,726 --> 00:14:07,255
Whatever the offshoot looks like,
I'll bet it's very popular on Halloween.
227
00:14:07,142 --> 00:14:11,136
The main thing is to humor him
till I can complete my examination.
228
00:14:13,606 --> 00:14:15,131
Let's go, team.
229
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:19,536
Do I get my prize now?
230
00:14:19,527 --> 00:14:21,621
In a minute you can have
all the prizes you want...
231
00:14:21,606 --> 00:14:24,041
the doctor wants
to examine you first.
232
00:14:24,007 --> 00:14:25,475
The doctor wants to examine me?
233
00:14:25,479 --> 00:14:28,176
Yes, we want to see if
you're in good shape...
234
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,569
so that you can carry all
those nice prizes home.
235
00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:32,970
Yeah, on top of that we
wouldn't like to have...
236
00:14:32,935 --> 00:14:36,372
the Father of the Year being a
broken-down bum, would we?
237
00:14:36,295 --> 00:14:37,319
I suppose not.
238
00:14:38,407 --> 00:14:42,208
Okay, close up the mouth now so
we can commence to begin here.
239
00:14:48,584 --> 00:14:51,144
I can't believe it. I
just can't believe it.
240
00:14:51,111 --> 00:14:53,580
My son-in-law,
Father of the Year?
241
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:58,001
Now, Grandpa, the committee wouldn't
have sent for him, if Herman hadn't won.
242
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:58,955
Hmm.
243
00:15:02,984 --> 00:15:04,646
Your move, sucker!
244
00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:18,211
It looks like I won that game,
stupid. Now pay up that bet.
245
00:15:19,689 --> 00:15:20,952
You ain't gonna pay?
246
00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:24,369
You fink! I should have
left you where I found you.
247
00:15:25,353 --> 00:15:26,548
He looks familiar.
248
00:15:26,569 --> 00:15:29,562
Who is that you're playing
checkers with, anyway, Grandpa?
249
00:15:29,769 --> 00:15:33,604
Some deadbeat I dug up on one
of my walks through the cemetery.
250
00:15:34,825 --> 00:15:38,785
How dare you come into our
house and weasel out on a bet!
251
00:15:38,794 --> 00:15:41,992
I'll have you know we are
respectable and honest people.
252
00:15:41,930 --> 00:15:44,661
Now, you get out of
here! Out! Out! Out!
253
00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:55,525
You were a nothing when I
found you and you're still a nothing!
254
00:15:58,794 --> 00:16:00,820
Now, what were you saying?
255
00:16:00,906 --> 00:16:04,365
We were talking about
Herman's being Father of the Year.
256
00:16:04,554 --> 00:16:06,489
I'm glad he did
win that contest.
257
00:16:06,474 --> 00:16:10,468
If he hadn't have won, we would have
had an 8-foot crybaby on our hands.
258
00:16:10,379 --> 00:16:12,280
You know, for the
award ceremony...
259
00:16:12,266 --> 00:16:16,067
I think I'll send to Saks
Transylvania for a new shroud.
260
00:16:16,139 --> 00:16:17,630
Hi, everybody.
261
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,710
What's the matter, Eddie?
262
00:16:19,723 --> 00:16:22,488
I was just over at my
friend Buster Jordan's house.
263
00:16:22,443 --> 00:16:24,912
You look like the world
is coming to an end.
264
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:27,401
That'd be just fine
compared to this.
265
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,793
Buster's father won the
Father of the Year contest.
266
00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:33,018
But, Eddie, that's impossible.
267
00:16:33,003 --> 00:16:37,099
Your dad is meeting with the Father
of the Year committee right now.
268
00:16:37,004 --> 00:16:38,802
Eddie, what is this?
269
00:16:38,891 --> 00:16:42,020
It's the contest announcement
in the afternoon paper.
270
00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:44,661
You know what the
worst part is? What, dear?
271
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:46,521
I got the dates mixed up.
272
00:16:46,508 --> 00:16:49,478
Pop would've won,
only I goofed it up.
273
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:52,948
I mailed his picture into the
contest after the deadline.
274
00:16:53,196 --> 00:16:55,062
I don't understand.
275
00:16:55,053 --> 00:16:57,750
He's supposed to be meeting
with the committee now.
276
00:16:57,708 --> 00:17:00,007
I wonder who he is talking with?
277
00:17:00,813 --> 00:17:02,611
The last time he
met with strangers...
278
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:05,870
they sold him the Vic Tanny
franchise for Greenland.
279
00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:10,378
Don't worry about it. Herman
has a good head on his shoulders.
280
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:14,645
Nothing in it, but he's got a
good head on his shoulders.
281
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,102
I want you to notice his head.
282
00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:20,678
Barring an absurd
skull thickness...
283
00:17:20,685 --> 00:17:24,019
his brain capacity
measures 2,500 centimeters.
284
00:17:25,070 --> 00:17:28,871
Mr. Munster, you have enough
brains to fill a large bucket.
285
00:17:29,262 --> 00:17:31,458
I don't know about that, but...
286
00:17:31,437 --> 00:17:34,066
I do wear a size 16
and seven-eighths hat...
287
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,829
and I'm kind of partial
to black Homburgs.
288
00:17:37,518 --> 00:17:40,249
You are an incredible specimen.
289
00:17:40,462 --> 00:17:42,522
Thank you. I try hard.
290
00:17:42,734 --> 00:17:44,828
I want to measure his chest.
291
00:17:45,838 --> 00:17:49,969
Doctor, if you tickle me,
I'm gonna tickle you back.
292
00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:54,863
Try to sit still, Mr. Munster.
I won't move a muscle.
293
00:17:54,798 --> 00:17:55,891
Good. Yeah.
294
00:17:55,919 --> 00:18:00,414
I wouldn't want you to get the wrong size
when you measure me for my new wardrobe.
295
00:18:00,303 --> 00:18:01,771
By the way...
296
00:18:02,191 --> 00:18:06,925
do you see me in a black raw silk with
two buttons and a natural shoulder feel?
297
00:18:07,247 --> 00:18:11,014
Mr. Munster, I'm sorry, but we don't
know what it is you're talking about.
298
00:18:10,927 --> 00:18:13,726
You see, we're all
a little thick up here.
299
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,780
Well, I am getting measured
for my prizes, aren't I?
300
00:18:18,447 --> 00:18:22,441
Yes, the prizes. Of
course, the prizes.
301
00:18:23,472 --> 00:18:24,667
Prizes!
302
00:18:26,159 --> 00:18:28,492
Shall we try the
patellar reflex?
303
00:18:29,392 --> 00:18:31,657
As long as it isn't
anything naughty.
304
00:18:44,368 --> 00:18:45,996
Very interesting.
305
00:18:47,921 --> 00:18:50,755
Must make a note, no
knee reflex whatsoever.
306
00:18:52,144 --> 00:18:54,636
We're all put together
differently, you know.
307
00:18:54,608 --> 00:18:56,736
I want to test the chest cavity.
308
00:19:00,561 --> 00:19:02,029
Oops-a-daisy!
309
00:19:02,353 --> 00:19:05,482
Boy! You're a live
one, all right. Yes.
310
00:19:05,585 --> 00:19:08,851
I think we've seen enough
now. We'll send you home.
311
00:19:09,329 --> 00:19:10,991
Send me home? Yeah.
312
00:19:12,305 --> 00:19:14,206
Send me home without my prizes?
313
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,629
My Father of the Year prizes.
314
00:19:17,297 --> 00:19:21,257
If you send me home without my
prizes, I'm gonna hold my breath.
315
00:19:21,362 --> 00:19:23,957
Mr. Munster, no. Come on.
316
00:19:24,658 --> 00:19:27,457
Come on. We'll give you all
the prizes you want, believe me.
317
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:30,209
Now, come alive. Come
on, team, give me a hand.
318
00:19:30,162 --> 00:19:34,862
You'll just go home like a nice little
Kind.You'll hear from us, believe me.
319
00:19:35,762 --> 00:19:38,061
Now be careful, watch your step.
320
00:19:38,034 --> 00:19:39,696
Bye! Bye.
321
00:19:44,403 --> 00:19:48,568
What a find. An actual live
throwback to prehistoric times.
322
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:50,129
He's worth his weight in gold!
323
00:19:50,131 --> 00:19:52,896
But what was all that talk
about Father of the Year?
324
00:19:52,851 --> 00:19:56,344
Herr Doctor, when you have
a beautiful caveman like that...
325
00:19:56,275 --> 00:20:00,007
who's a potential money-maker
right in the palm of your hand...
326
00:19:59,923 --> 00:20:02,791
you don't worry
whether he's a nut or not!
327
00:20:06,867 --> 00:20:09,564
Oh, dear, I just
won't be able to do it.
328
00:20:09,524 --> 00:20:12,983
I simply can't tell Herman
he's not Father of the Year.
329
00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:15,588
Boy, do I feel awful.
330
00:20:15,828 --> 00:20:18,059
Somebody will have to tell him.
331
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:20,712
He's home.
332
00:20:35,605 --> 00:20:38,336
At least we could
break it to him gently.
333
00:20:39,125 --> 00:20:41,287
Hey, Mom, I just remembered...
334
00:20:41,269 --> 00:20:43,101
I left the newspaper
in the living room...
335
00:20:43,092 --> 00:20:46,085
that tells about Mr. Jordan
winning the contest.
336
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,666
Oh, dear, I hope
Herman doesn't see it.
337
00:20:52,982 --> 00:20:54,314
He saw it.
338
00:21:00,214 --> 00:21:03,707
Lily dear, what is
the meaning of this?
339
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:07,156
Well, you see, dear...
It's all my fault, Pop.
340
00:21:07,254 --> 00:21:10,622
I didn't mail your picture to the
Father of the Year contest on time.
341
00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:12,883
Uncle Herman,
you would have won.
342
00:21:13,110 --> 00:21:15,443
I'm fully aware
of that, Marilyn.
343
00:21:16,918 --> 00:21:20,320
You mean you aren't going to
flip out or anything, Herman?
344
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:21,578
Grandpa...
345
00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:24,699
I understand the
situation perfectly.
346
00:21:25,175 --> 00:21:28,612
A man of my mettle must
readily absorb disappointments.
347
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,894
It was just a simple mistake.
348
00:21:32,183 --> 00:21:36,587
The child here failed to enter me on
time, therefore, I could not compete.
349
00:21:36,471 --> 00:21:40,135
Therefore, the contest went
to another man, therefore...
350
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,213
it's an open-and-shut case.
351
00:21:43,031 --> 00:21:46,627
Pop, I'm glad you're not mad
at me. Son, I'm not finished.
352
00:21:46,904 --> 00:21:49,601
Therefore, I do not
get my new wardrobe.
353
00:21:49,687 --> 00:21:52,748
Therefore, I do not get
my free trip to Hawaii.
354
00:21:52,887 --> 00:21:55,652
Therefore, I do not get
all my other neat prizes.
355
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:59,874
Therefore, I'm going to have a
tantrum. Because, you know what this is?
356
00:22:00,184 --> 00:22:02,779
It's dirty! Dirty! Dirty!
357
00:22:04,376 --> 00:22:06,470
It's rotten! Rotten! Rotten!
358
00:22:07,065 --> 00:22:08,931
Crummy! Crummy! Crummy!
359
00:22:14,456 --> 00:22:17,119
I'm certainly glad you
calmed down, Herman.
360
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,549
When you pounded your
head against the wall...
361
00:22:19,512 --> 00:22:21,640
our entire chimney collapsed.
362
00:22:22,361 --> 00:22:26,196
I'm still a little peeved at those guys
at the university for making me think...
363
00:22:26,105 --> 00:22:28,574
I won the Father
of the Year contest.
364
00:22:28,537 --> 00:22:30,403
I wonder who they were?
365
00:22:38,713 --> 00:22:41,706
Spot went out and fetched
the newspaper again.
366
00:22:41,785 --> 00:22:43,754
Wasn't that nice of him.
367
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:52,068
Will you look at this!
368
00:22:53,466 --> 00:22:55,094
Will you look at this!
369
00:22:55,098 --> 00:22:56,964
It explains who
those ninnies were...
370
00:22:56,954 --> 00:22:59,788
that pretended they were the
Father of the Year committee.
371
00:22:59,738 --> 00:23:00,738
Hmm.
372
00:23:00,762 --> 00:23:03,061
"Professors fired
from university...
373
00:23:03,034 --> 00:23:04,798
"for perpetrating hoax.
374
00:23:04,794 --> 00:23:08,162
"They claimed to find
a prehistoric living man.
375
00:23:08,410 --> 00:23:10,902
Doctored photograph
is proof of hoax."
376
00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:13,140
Listen to this
editorial comment.
377
00:23:13,114 --> 00:23:15,515
"How ignorant do
they think the public is...
378
00:23:15,483 --> 00:23:19,113
to believe this creature
could be walking our streets?"
379
00:23:21,850 --> 00:23:25,412
Well, I say it serves those
dirty little professors right.
380
00:23:25,467 --> 00:23:28,665
Imagine trying to pass off a
handsome specimen like me...
381
00:23:28,603 --> 00:23:30,629
for a prehistoric monster.
382
00:23:31,419 --> 00:23:33,479
It proves one thing, Herman...
383
00:23:33,468 --> 00:23:36,165
that this world is
full of weirdoes.
384
00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:41,173
You're so right.
385
00:23:41,223 --> 00:23:45,773
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