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1
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,953
ROBERT: Hi-yo,
you NerdGasmics,
nerd-a-maniacs,
2
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,689
tuning into our podcast...
3
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:24,392
ROBERT AND SEAN TOGETHER:
For the win!
4
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,895
ROBERT:
As always, this is your boy
Hot Rob and the Seanster.
5
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,964
We're coming to you live
from our fucking bat cave, yo.
6
00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,233
SEAN: Ground zero.
7
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,834
ROBERT: It's our Area 51, yo.
8
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,869
SEAN: You can't even see this,
it's so secret.
9
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,871
ROBERT: It's so super secret.
Supercon's this weekend.
10
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:40,641
It's gonna be in
Westwego, Louisiana.
11
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,510
SEAN: It's gonna be
really magical.
12
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,478
We're gonna have
great guests on the show.
13
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:47,815
ROBERT: All of your favorite
stars from TV, film, comics.
14
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,617
SEAN: Live from Supercon
15
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,186
with our very own Supercon
special edition podcast.
16
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,155
ROBERT: We're gonna be
coming to you live
17
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,557
from the cockpit
of the shuttle craft,
18
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,760
so come and see us
at Supercon at Westwego.
19
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,196
You'll get to see us,
your boy Hot Rob
20
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:03,731
and the Seanster.
21
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:07,067
ROBERT AND SEAN TOGETHER:
For the win!
22
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,357
ANSWERING MACHINE:
23
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,392
MAN: This call
is for Mr. Mahar.
24
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,162
This is Lavar Apartments.
This is Rodney.
25
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,663
You're behind
on your rent, sir.
26
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,097
Please give me
a call back immediately
27
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,367
to avoid getting evicted.
28
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,302
ANSWERING MACHINE:
Next message.
29
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,537
WOMAN: Hi, Mr. Mahar.
This is Cindy.
30
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,939
I work for Supercon owner
and promoter Mr. Gil Bartell.
31
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:49,543
He wanted me and remind
you how important
it is that you wear...
32
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:52,480
Oh, it says here a turban
from your show Tex Johnson.
33
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,148
Mr. Bartell says
you have to wear it
34
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,349
or no one at the Con
will recognize you
35
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,984
from when you were a kid.
36
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,353
Thanks so much
and have a great Con. Bye.
37
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,355
ANSWERING MACHINE:
Third message.
38
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:04,124
MAN: Mr. Mahar, this is your
soon-to-be ex-wife's attorney.
39
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,894
I've made many attempts to get
a hold of you
in regard to Bob.
40
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:09,730
Please call me
back immediately
to resolve this matter.
41
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,333
Better yet,
have your attorney call me
42
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,735
because if you haven't
obtained an attorney,
you're gonna need a good one.
43
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:16,870
ANSWERING MACHINE:
Fourth message.
44
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,072
MAN: Princess, it's Wheeler.
Where you at?
45
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:21,542
I'm at weapons check,
waiting for your fat ass.
46
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:25,679
Oh, Rob and Sean want us
to do their podcast
in their shuttle craft
47
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,482
I know that gives you a boner.
Hit me up, buddy boy.
48
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,718
Oh, God.
49
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,990
WOMAN: I think
you've lost weight.
50
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,826
Last time I saw you, I don't
know if you were this size,
51
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,494
which is not to say that you
didn't look good back then.
52
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,129
You look good now.
You look good all the time.
53
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,464
You need anything at all,
54
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,699
you just find
one of us red shirts.
55
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,901
Take care now.
Don't hurt nobody.
56
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,603
Okay, all right, bye.
57
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,108
Sir, this is
only for VIP guests.
58
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,777
I am a VIP guest.
59
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,980
Tex Johnson, US marshal.
60
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:04,285
Can you be a doll, Tammy, and
help out Mr. Larry Long
61
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:07,755
OMG. You're Matt Wheeler.
62
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,390
You can call me Wheels.
63
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,293
Oh, my roommate's
gonna freak out.
64
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,894
Let her freak.
Mmm!
65
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:17,164
I love Hiccup and Stringy.
It's my total fave.
66
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:20,768
I'll do it for you, but only
if you do the Stringy voice.
67
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:24,204
Hey, gorgeous!
68
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,873
Are you a parking ticket?
69
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,776
'Cause you got "fine"
written all over you.
70
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,110
Oh, Stringy!
71
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:34,915
Deal's a deal.
72
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,418
Now, what's your name?
Steven Spielberg.
73
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,420
Maybe I should try looking
under "Douchebag."
74
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,889
I think Gil would probably
want you to move Keith
75
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,824
next to my table right here.
76
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,559
Can we do a little something
about that?
77
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:46,694
Yeah.
78
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,962
Great.
79
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,864
KEITH:
What the fuck was that?
80
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,534
That's the sound
a little dick makes.
81
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,404
I have a little dick,
and it doesn't make any noise.
82
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,972
I have a big dick,
and it makes lots of noise.
83
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,275
Mm-hmm!
84
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,745
Did you hear that?
You heard that.
85
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,043
Hey, I recognize you,
handsome devil, huh?
86
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,279
Ah, get your pictures now.
There ya go.
87
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,884
Sure, sure, just a couple
of free ones here.
88
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,285
75 bucks at my table.
89
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,220
Ah, this pen doesn't work.
Sorry.
90
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:50,157
Hey, come on.
Easy, no touching.
91
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,025
Hide me, hide me.
What?
92
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,794
Fucking cocksucker's here.
93
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,396
You are the fucking
smallest guy here,
94
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,030
and I have to use you
to cover me.
95
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,533
Is that Keith Mahar?
96
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,301
Right there.
Hey.
97
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,836
Hey, everybody, look.
98
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,072
It's Hadji,
my costar from Tex Johnson.
99
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,608
Keith. My name is Keith.
100
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,810
Sure it is.
Just busting balls.
101
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,880
Hey, speaking of balls,
how they hanging?
102
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,817
Fucking prick.
103
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,522
Can I get a photo
with you guys?
104
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,724
Sure, sure, anything
for the fans, right, Keith?
105
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,225
Yeah.
Sure, sure, come on.
106
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,927
Oh, okay, okay.
107
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,896
Here, get my good side.
108
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,064
Go, good.
109
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,101
All right, smile.
110
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,136
And...
111
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,606
Fucking dick pic.
112
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,441
ADAM: Ah, that's not bad.
You missed your calling.
113
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:41,909
You should've been
a photographer, Hadji.
114
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,011
KEITH: Hey, well, you know.
All right.
115
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,680
Catch ya later, Hadj.
Yeah, great.
116
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,816
Hope you catch
something later,
you fuck.
117
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,484
Move, move, move, move.
I bet you him and her
118
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,052
stand beside each other
at the urinal.
119
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,254
Where the fucking hat
I bought you
120
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:57,190
Nobody knows
who the fuck you are
without the hat on your head.
121
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,159
I believe the appropriate
term is "turban."
122
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,128
Okay, turban, the jihabi,
123
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,631
the Pamper you was wearing
on your fucking head.
124
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:07,234
A jibjab rag, a diaper,
where's the fucking hat?
125
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,169
Um...
You know this guy?
126
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:12,105
Harold
127
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,608
I'm not fucking either
of those people.
128
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,144
Callahan. This is
my head of security,
129
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,812
and this is my brother-in-law,
130
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,148
and I'm gonna let him
loose on your ass
131
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,283
if you rearrange
my seating again.
132
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,718
I don't play that shit.
133
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:28,088
Get Jay on the phone.
Motherfucker!
134
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,632
Can't even move fast enough
to fucking scare me.
135
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:41,101
Osama bin fucking eating.
136
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,870
Seriously?
Yeah, dude.
137
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,038
She left me for her fucking
personal trainer.
138
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,707
I should've known
something was up.
139
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,075
She would go to the gym
in high heels.
140
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,543
Who works out in high heels?
141
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,178
Staying fat wasn't a clue?
142
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,746
She filed for divorce,
emptied the bank account,
143
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,548
kicked me out
of the apartment.
144
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,984
Can't you get spousal support
or something?
145
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,819
Yeah, I would need
a lawyer for that,
146
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,454
and I'm already paying for
the fucking lawyer she hired
147
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:01,789
to divorce me.
148
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,925
She's what they call
"a cunt burger."
149
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,561
Ooh, I've had
one of those before.
150
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,965
MATT:
Yep, I told you that wench
was bad news.
151
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,402
You're an asshole. You fucking
introduced me to her.
152
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:16,904
In Vegas, baby.
153
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,540
Didn't you shit your pants?
It was a shart.
154
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,208
Motherf...
155
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,616
Good.
156
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,718
Controller's busted.
Round two.
157
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,554
Go home, old man, you suck!
158
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,159
Really?
159
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,595
I've seen a naked woman.
160
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,133
In real life.
161
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:50,504
Oh, mike drop.
162
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,506
I didn't tell you
the worst part.
163
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,574
What's that?
164
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,175
She took Bob.
165
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,645
She fucking took Bob?
166
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,146
She stole my dog.
167
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,482
What kind of a person
steals a man's dog?
168
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,051
An animal.
169
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,720
Yeah. She didn't even
like the fucking dog.
170
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,722
And she ties him up
in the apartment all day.
171
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,491
Now I'm in a custody
battle over some shit
I can't even afford.
172
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,961
And what was your name again?
173
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,796
You know, I can't believe
your Con agent let you go out
174
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,699
looking like a special-needs
M. Night Shyamalan.
175
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,901
Look at this.
176
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,171
Yo, check it out.
Ms. Lily's here.
177
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,439
Mmm.
178
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,876
You know sometimes when
I'm drunk, I do two things...
179
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,378
Watch Ms. Lily's Classroom,
180
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,282
and then I jerk off while
watching Ms. Lily's Classroom.
181
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,450
Not to the classroom part.
Just Ms. Lily.
182
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:40,688
I'm not a fucking creep.
Kinda wanna
jerk off right now.
183
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,823
Why don't you take
that glorious headshot over?
184
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,025
Oh, yeah,
this is what she wants.
185
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,595
An unemployed
former child actor
186
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:51,064
whose life resembles
a pile of dog shit.
187
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,533
Hey, Wheeler, where's Hiccup
this weekend, man?
188
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:54,802
Rehab.
189
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,537
Hey, who are you?
Keith Mahar.
190
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:58,706
I was on Tex Johnson.
191
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,240
Was that Keith Mahar?
192
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,175
Testicular cancer ring a bell?
193
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,977
Oh, my God.
You're the ball cancer kid!
194
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:07,815
Hey, everybody,
it's the ball cancer kid! Hey!
195
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:10,651
Mommy, I got ball cancer!
196
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:11,885
Oh, geez.
197
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,587
Fuck me.
I thought you were dead.
198
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:17,424
Nope, didn't actually
have testicular cancer,
199
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,092
therefore didn't die.
200
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,928
Just your career.
201
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,631
Fuckwad.
202
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:26,099
Hey, Bobble D.
203
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,638
A lemmy for me
and an Irish Car Bomb
204
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,105
for my terrorist friend here.
205
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,207
I'm Indian,
you fucking dummy.
206
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:37,144
WOMAN: I didn't know
this was a gay bar.
207
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,679
Hello, lesbo face.
208
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,781
We were just about
to start scissoring.
209
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,750
McNealy,
that filthy mouth of yours
210
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,218
is not gonna get me
back to your room tonight.
211
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,054
Chardonnay for me, thanks.
212
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,723
Can I get that
In a to
Jack and Coke, please.
213
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,158
And can he get a thong
and a scrunchie
214
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,160
and maybe a Tampax
with that too?
215
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,629
This is Rocky.
We went to Michigan together.
216
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,097
Now we're just fucking.
217
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,966
You're not a personal trainer,
are you?
218
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,434
He's a DJ.
He's spinning
the rave tonight.
219
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,303
KEITH: When he comes,
does soy sauce come out?
220
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,006
Green or red? The low sodium
or the regular sodium?
221
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:06,940
Keith.
222
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,709
They call me Pharaoh.
223
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,110
What do they call you?
224
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,378
Pharaoh.
Oh.
225
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,946
I thought you were
saying, "Herro."
226
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,783
I should take off, Al,
get my shit together.
227
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,318
Yeah, they're animals.
228
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,321
MATT: I'm a DJ too.
229
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,124
He works out.
I work out.
230
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,426
Yeah, but he's supposed
to be working out math.
231
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,162
He's dehydrated.
He's lost a lot of fluids.
232
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,297
He is pretty big though.
233
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,665
Yeah. He's huge in Japan.
234
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,934
Hey, three inches is big
in Japan.
235
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,769
Yeah, so you're like
average there.
236
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,305
Does he go down on you
with chopsticks?
237
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:41,675
You ever go down on him
and you're hungry
half an hour later?
238
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:44,577
He was big though.
239
00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:46,079
Wait a minute.
What?
240
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,782
What time is
your Classic TV panel?
241
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,318
Um, at...
242
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,320
Oh, fuck-me-o'clock.
243
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,255
I'll drink it.
244
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,029
You got this.
Now you're ready.
245
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,363
Bye.
246
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,932
Tell King he sucks.
247
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,963
ANNOUNCER: Downtown Crime.
248
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:38,498
Starring Brock Hutchinson
249
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,134
as Detective Mitch Sipes.
250
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,072
I look like
one of the Village People.
251
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,207
I'm gonna tell you
the true story here right now.
252
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,142
Brock, being the guy
that he is,
253
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,912
he gave a bit of encouragement
to a young Tom Selleck.
254
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,346
He said, "Now this is
between you and me."
255
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,614
You're out of breath?
256
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,483
The bar is next door.
257
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:57,751
Don't judge me.
Mm-hmm.
258
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,086
What did I miss?
259
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,221
Just your dignity,
sweetheart.
260
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,590
"Tom, why don't you
go on home,
grow yourself a mustache,
261
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,192
and then try it again."
262
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:09,362
Let's bring out the star
of Downtown Crime,
263
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:13,700
ladies and gentlemen,
Brock Hutchinson!
264
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,769
Come on out, Brock.
Come on out!
265
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,338
I came out years ago!
266
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:24,277
Hello, Westwego.
267
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,414
When you get the clap
from you guys,
268
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,749
I think you really mean it.
269
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,853
I don't wanna leave you
out here all by yourself
there, Brock.
270
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:37,157
Our next guest, everyone's
favorite ball cancer kid.
271
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,994
Fuck me.
272
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,897
Ooh!
273
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:47,534
You've been a bad Hadji.
274
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,369
That's gonna leave a mark.
275
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,572
You see here, little fella,
276
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,541
down here in Texas,
we take care of our own.
277
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:59,112
Speaking of which,
you feeling okay?
278
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:02,549
Go ahead, Hadji.
We're all friends here.
279
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,985
It's okay to talk about,
Judge Glover.
280
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,587
Tex told me I have
testicular cancer.
281
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,589
Oh, Hadji!
282
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:16,296
All right,
from Tex Johnson, US Marshal,
283
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,766
it's that crazy
go-kart-driving Hadji,
284
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,568
Keith Mahar!
285
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,380
Get the fuck outta here.
Prick.
286
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,751
ANNOUNCER:
Attention, Supercon.
287
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,487
Remember, personal hygiene
affects everyone.
288
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,055
Hey.
289
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:43,623
If you smell someone,
tell someone.
290
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,325
Keep it in the pants, man.
291
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,027
Skip.
292
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,229
Hey, you see that guy?
Is he your type?
293
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,764
Over you?
A thousand times, yes.
294
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:54,467
How about
Adam King of the Cocks
over there?
295
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,503
He's a prick.
296
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,939
Hides it well
from the fans though.
297
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,908
Well, you and Mr. Sulu,
that really happening?
298
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,410
Listen, you need
to let this go.
299
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,345
You're too pretty
to give good head.
300
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,848
Never had to work for it.
I'm just not that into you.
301
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,451
When you're banging
Chairman Mao,
302
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,153
do you think of me
the whole time
303
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,687
or just during climax?
304
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,389
Which I can only
assume happens
305
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,091
while he's neatly folding
clothes in the other room.
306
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:21,494
Is neatness even
a racial stereotype?
307
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,330
If it's not,
it should be, right?
308
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,299
I don't fuck racists.
Bye, Felicia.
309
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,800
Cold, cold.
310
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,836
MAN:
Football is in my possession,
RTV, over.
311
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,639
Copy that. Callahan's
on his way
to your office, sir.
312
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,909
He's got money from
the first round of photo ops.
313
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,914
Is it true he's a Navy Seal?
314
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,183
What?
I'm surrounded by idiots.
315
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,717
We're still having
that little issue.
316
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,286
Copy that.
Back over there.
317
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,989
Okay. Seth Green, sir,
he needs a new chair.
318
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:51,491
He's too short, evidently.
319
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,861
Saw the legs off the table.
Shit.
320
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,564
That's a good idea, sir.
Um, one more thing.
321
00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,666
Adam King is flirting
with our interns,
322
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,535
and she's only 15, Gil.
323
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,940
First off,
my name is Mr. Bartell.
324
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,575
Oh.
325
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,610
Yeah. Second of all,
326
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,347
my man Adam King is signing
for four hours each day.
327
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:18,685
We move 10 mouth-breathers
through the line a minute.
328
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,890
He gets $75
per signature or a photo.
329
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,893
That's roughly about
$180,000 per day.
330
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,096
120 grand to me.
331
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:32,365
And 420 grand to him.
332
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,102
Green is for the money
and what?
333
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,803
Gold is for the honey.
334
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:46,579
Every time he's not signing
autographs and taking photos,
335
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,049
you're literally taking
money out of my pocket.
336
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,550
No, sir, I wouldn't...
337
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,186
Wait. How much does
Adam King charge?
338
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:56,956
Go pick it up.
339
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,792
Now?
Let's go, let's go!
340
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,194
Yes, sir!
341
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,373
How'd the panel go?
Could've gone better.
342
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,275
You know, these fucking things
are making way more money
343
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,709
than we are this weekend.
344
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,211
My show ran for four seasons,
345
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,381
and those four wheels
of shiny wax shit
346
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,250
broke down every episode.
347
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,052
One of 'em blew up once.
348
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,820
For no reason at all.
Just kaboom!
349
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,322
Hey, this is weed.
350
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,691
Are you a cop?
351
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,295
Where the hell is Wheeler?
352
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,364
He forgot something
in his room.
353
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,466
BOTH:
He's taking a shit.
354
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,602
Oh, my God.
355
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,540
I gotta call you back, Dad.
356
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,552
I know.
You're speechless.
357
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,389
Thought we were getting
an Uber.
358
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,559
Everyone, meet
Mr. Sean and Mr. Robert.
359
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,262
Hey, guys.
Together, they are NerdGasm.
360
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,564
To call these gentlemen "fans"
would be an insult.
361
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:15,502
I like to think of them
as men among boys.
362
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,905
Can I ask you guys,
the experts, a Con question?
363
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,641
Adam King, awesome or asshole?
364
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,243
Wait, you mean
Captain James W. Slade?
365
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,977
Right. Asshole, right?
366
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:27,147
ROBERT:
AKA Future Force's
Golden Guardian?
367
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,549
Or Tex Johnson...
368
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,551
US Marshal?
369
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,686
Uh, he's awesome.
370
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:40,727
Tell me, do you guys
pick up girls in this thing?
371
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,862
It's like Spanish Fly.
372
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,697
It's a panty-dropper.
373
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,068
Dorks.
374
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,171
By the way,
where are we going?
375
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,039
You guys like barbecue,
crawfish?
376
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,142
I like Applebee's.
377
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,277
Yeah, it's just like that.
378
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,246
You gotta
take a left right here.
379
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,682
Since we're all here,
you know, Sean and I,
we do a podcast.
380
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,951
It's called NerdGasm,
F-T-Dub.
381
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,086
Never miss it.
Yeah?
382
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,588
Uh-huh.
I thought of the name.
383
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,823
We wanted all you guys
to be on it.
384
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,225
Love to.
385
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,326
Allison's gonna
need a small mike.
386
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,128
She likes small mikes.
387
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,130
There's a smaller red one,
388
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,598
or we got a big black one
up here.
389
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,032
MATT: Kid
390
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,268
We can see what we got.
Baby mikes?
391
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,702
ALLISON: Party size.
392
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,003
Party. There you go.
393
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,638
ALLISON: Better for anal.
394
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:32,279
ROBERT: So is that a yes,
or is that a...
395
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,481
Well, you know
Matt did say we'd do it, so...
396
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,349
Great! Three, two, one.
397
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,887
Oh, check the levels.
398
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,121
Oh, you mean now.
399
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,656
Levels, Sean!
400
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:47,760
ROBERT: Hi-yo,
you NerdGasmics,
nerd-a-maniacs,
401
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:53,633
tuning into our podcast...
BOTH: For the win!
402
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:57,003
As always, it's your boy
Hot Rob and the Seanster.
403
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,206
'Sup.
Coming to you live
404
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,708
from the cockpit
of the shuttle craft.
405
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,943
You say cock?
I didn't say cock.
406
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,279
Cock-a-doodle-do,
we are right here, gentlemen.
407
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,317
What the fuck?
408
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,852
Look at this piece of shit.
409
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,922
This doesn't look
like Applebee's.
410
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,825
Hey, nice ride,
Captain Kirk.
411
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,760
Set your phasers to fag.
412
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,229
Whoo!
413
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,497
Hey, man, sorry!
We gotta go! Bye-bye!
414
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,665
Yeah!
415
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,904
I think you dropped this.
416
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:38,711
Queers.
417
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:41,481
Fuck you.
418
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,316
Dude, what the fuck
was that, man?
419
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,685
That guy looked like my dad.
I don't need that shit, man.
420
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,687
Fuck you, man.
That was ball cancer kid?
421
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,188
Aw, fuck.
422
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,857
Called respect.
423
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,125
Respect.
424
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,194
Ball cancer got balls.
Respect!
425
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,832
Fuck! That was my last beer.
426
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,401
ALLISON: There's been
a rumor going around
427
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,770
that Dragon-Con
was robbed of 100 grand
428
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,706
by some guys dressed up
like stormtroopers.
429
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,508
KEITH: New Hope
or Force Awakens?
430
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,109
ALLISON: Does it matter?
KEITH: It matters.
431
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,878
New Hope, okay?
Stay with me.
432
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,513
It's an urban legend.
433
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,883
Bullshit. I heard it
from a very reliable source.
434
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,150
Her pot dealer.
435
00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,453
Medical marijuana provider.
436
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,255
What's the story?
437
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:26,092
Evidently the guy,
or guys, walked in
438
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:30,330
and held up the con office,
like Pulp Fiction.
439
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,799
They grabbed the cash,
440
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,535
and then they escaped
441
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,004
by slipping into
the big cosplay parade
442
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:41,374
that takes over
downtown Atlanta every year.
443
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,743
They timed it so perfectly...
444
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:50,750
They blended in seamlessly
with the 501st Legion.
445
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,119
Clean getaway.
446
00:20:58,425 --> 00:20:59,992
Oh, fuck.
447
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:04,531
Not this fucking guy.
Here?
448
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,034
I gotta throw a piss.
449
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,537
GIL: Look who that is.
KEITH: How do you
throw a piss?
450
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,505
ADAM: Oh!
BROCK: You leave a piss.
451
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,774
ALLISON:
Maybe he doesn't hold it.
KEITH: You throw a party.
452
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,243
Oh, my God.
Maybe it's a piss party.
453
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,712
Hadji!
454
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,948
What kinda trouble
you getting into now, son?
455
00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:24,717
Oh, you're not eating pork,
are you, Mahar?
456
00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:26,486
Aren't all the other cabbies
gonna get pissed
457
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,655
that you're chowing down
on the sacred cow?
458
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,658
Cow, pork, same thing, right?
Fucking idiot.
459
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,361
Oh, Allison,
looking stunning as usual.
460
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:36,195
Brock Hutchinson,
you old queen.
461
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:39,432
What are you doing hanging out
with the supporting cast, huh?
462
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:42,969
I haven't seen
an asshole this big
463
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,604
since Andy Dick's
Christmas party.
464
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:47,640
Good call.
Yeah.
465
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,209
Hey, listen, Adam,
we're about to leave.
466
00:21:50,343 --> 00:21:52,612
Excuse me,
are you Adam King?
467
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,381
Hold on, hold on.
Adam Future Force King?
468
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:55,782
Not right now, player.
Not right now.
469
00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:57,016
Good eye, kid.
470
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,351
Can I shake...
471
00:21:58,485 --> 00:21:59,519
Gil, it's okay.
I can't...
472
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,220
It's okay, Gil, it's okay.
473
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:03,856
I just wanna...
Oh, my God.
474
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,593
Sir, I'm an actor too.
Where did he come from?
475
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:09,061
I've learned so much
from watching your shows.
476
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:10,697
Do you teach an acting class
or something?
477
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,165
We'd love to take it.
Fuck me.
478
00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:15,301
ADAM: I'll give you one
for free.
479
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:18,337
From one great actor
to another actor,
480
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,574
those that can't, teach.
481
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:25,244
I learned everything I needed
from the streets, kid.
482
00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:26,613
Is it true that you
turned down
483
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:28,748
the role of John McClane
in Die Hard?
484
00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:30,483
Let me tell you something.
485
00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:33,686
The King can't be upstaged
by a skyscraper.
486
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:37,089
Ah! Nakatomi ain't got nothing
on the King.
487
00:22:37,223 --> 00:22:40,860
Well, you just keep doing
that awesome thing you do.
488
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:45,131
Got no other choice, kid.
489
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,737
Yeah, dude!
Come on, man!
490
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:53,706
All right, come on.
Let's get something
to eat, huh?
491
00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:55,908
You'll never make it, Wheeler.
492
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:59,078
Never in life.
Let's get some chow, huh?
493
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,813
I suggest we get outta here.
494
00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:03,783
Let's go see DJ Chardonnay.
Copy that.
495
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:10,490
What a fucking racist,
homophobic prick.
496
00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:14,126
He used to do
the same shit to me on set
when I was 10 years old.
497
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,464
He'll get his.
498
00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:20,833
Might be sooner
rather than later.
499
00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:54,501
WOMAN:
And she's gonna
tell us all about
500
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:56,603
her favorite hat pattern.
501
00:23:56,736 --> 00:23:59,872
WOMAN 2: Oh, thank you!
WOMAN: Good to have
you on the show.
502
00:24:00,006 --> 00:24:01,808
WOMAN 2: It's nice to
meet you, finally.
503
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,610
I've been working on this
for a while.
504
00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:05,211
It's a basket-weave hat,
505
00:24:05,344 --> 00:24:08,180
like you make the basket-weave
for the baby blankets.
506
00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:09,849
Well, I have always
loved that pattern.
507
00:24:09,982 --> 00:24:11,918
All right,
I got something
508
00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,486
that's gonna turn
this night around.
509
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,722
All I'm offering
510
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,590
is the truth.
511
00:24:17,724 --> 00:24:19,526
Nothing more.
512
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:21,794
How can we refuse?
513
00:24:21,928 --> 00:24:23,162
Brock?
514
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,665
Mmm. I'm in.
515
00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:28,134
What are they?
516
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:30,036
Does it matter?
517
00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:33,372
Swear to God,
if this is Viagra,
518
00:24:33,506 --> 00:24:35,842
we're gonna find out
if Brock's a power bottom
or not.
519
00:25:44,677 --> 00:25:46,679
ANNOUNCER:
Attention, Supercon,
520
00:25:46,813 --> 00:25:49,749
the Klingon linguistics panel
has been changed to...
521
00:25:51,984 --> 00:25:53,720
You look like hammered shit.
522
00:25:53,853 --> 00:25:56,388
I think I might've fucked
a chicken last night.
523
00:25:56,522 --> 00:25:58,124
Been there.
524
00:25:58,257 --> 00:26:01,427
It's all a blur.
The last thing
I remember is...
525
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,162
The Dixie Pig.
526
00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:04,931
From last night.
527
00:26:10,603 --> 00:26:12,805
Motherfucker!
528
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:24,350
You know, you're a real
fucking asshole.
529
00:26:24,483 --> 00:26:28,387
Guess that barbecue sauce
is going to leave
a mark, Hadji.
530
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:29,989
Don't fuck with the King.
531
00:26:31,057 --> 00:26:32,291
Yeah.
532
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:36,562
Ball cancer kid.
Ball cancer kid.
533
00:26:36,696 --> 00:26:39,832
Ball cancer kid.
Ball cancer kid.
534
00:26:39,966 --> 00:26:42,935
Ball cancer kid.
Ball cancer kid.
535
00:26:43,069 --> 00:26:46,472
Ball cancer kid.
Ball cancer kid.
536
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,742
Ball cancer kid.
Ball cancer kid.
537
00:26:51,377 --> 00:26:53,345
I'm telling you, man,
he fucked a chicken.
538
00:26:53,479 --> 00:26:54,681
Wasn't pretty.
539
00:26:55,815 --> 00:26:57,950
What you do, I guess.
540
00:26:58,084 --> 00:27:00,720
Mm. Ned Stark, right?
541
00:27:00,853 --> 00:27:01,988
And that 'fro is on fire,
my man.
542
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,856
Keep it hard, Mr. Cronin.
543
00:27:04,590 --> 00:27:06,025
Keep it hard.
544
00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:07,226
How you feeling?
545
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,461
Day two, guys.
How are you doing?
546
00:27:09,595 --> 00:27:12,131
Oh, hey, it's big day.
547
00:27:12,264 --> 00:27:14,166
You know,
lots of people to meet,
548
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:15,367
lots to get signed.
549
00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:16,869
I missed you guys last night.
550
00:27:17,003 --> 00:27:18,871
We could've used you.
Really?
551
00:27:19,005 --> 00:27:21,207
ANNOUNCER: Attention,
security, please report
to section three.
552
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:24,176
Oh, no, whoa.
That's King's section.
553
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:27,546
How the fuck
do you know that?
554
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,849
I mean, come on, if there's
anything I know this weekend,
555
00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:31,483
it's who's at what table.
556
00:27:31,617 --> 00:27:34,020
This guy.
557
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:36,288
ANNOUNCER: Security,
report to section three.
558
00:27:36,422 --> 00:27:37,523
Oh, shit.
559
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:40,827
Ball cancer kid!
Ball cancer kid!
560
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,362
Ball cancer kid!
Ball cancer kid!
561
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:46,432
Fuck you!
Hey, what the
fuck is wrong...
562
00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:50,302
That's the last time, Hadji.
563
00:27:55,574 --> 00:27:57,509
You piece of shit!
564
00:27:57,643 --> 00:27:59,245
Not the face!
Not the... You...
565
00:27:59,378 --> 00:28:00,847
You fucking...
Stop it, stop it!
566
00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:03,249
Break it up.
567
00:28:03,382 --> 00:28:05,484
GIL: Stop it!
Come on, man. Break it up!
568
00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:07,319
Stop! Stop it!
569
00:28:07,787 --> 00:28:09,288
Eww.
570
00:28:14,861 --> 00:28:16,262
Oh, no.
571
00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:18,731
That's barbecue sauce?
572
00:28:19,932 --> 00:28:21,467
Keith and King got in a fight.
573
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,569
More of a mud wrestle.
574
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,838
Gil got involved.
It got ugly.
575
00:28:25,972 --> 00:28:27,606
And he fired the three of us.
576
00:28:27,740 --> 00:28:29,175
All three of you?
577
00:28:31,377 --> 00:28:33,079
Where's Gil?
578
00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:35,381
GIL: Is it really that bad?
He's upset with me?
579
00:28:35,514 --> 00:28:37,016
What kinda shit is that?
580
00:28:37,149 --> 00:28:38,851
He's really upset that he...
581
00:28:38,985 --> 00:28:40,586
Do you really wanna
be with him?
582
00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:42,554
I mean, be honest.
583
00:28:42,688 --> 00:28:45,157
You are living proof
that evolution works
in reverse.
584
00:28:45,291 --> 00:28:47,226
How you gonna
fix this, Gil, huh?
585
00:28:47,359 --> 00:28:49,061
Come on. Shock me with
an intelligent answer.
586
00:28:49,195 --> 00:28:52,164
Blow my mind.
I fired everybody's ass.
587
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:53,465
Ehh! Wrong.
588
00:28:53,599 --> 00:28:55,701
That is YP, not MP.
589
00:28:55,835 --> 00:28:57,736
Your problem, not my problem.
I got it.
590
00:28:57,870 --> 00:28:59,671
See? Even she knows
what I'm talking about.
591
00:28:59,806 --> 00:29:01,207
Picture this.
Aw, man!
592
00:29:01,340 --> 00:29:04,110
Hundreds of sweaty,
obese single parents,
593
00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:07,179
the walking fucking dead
with their fat little fingers
594
00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:10,282
holding illiterate
crayon signs saying,
595
00:29:10,416 --> 00:29:12,751
"Supercon sucks."
596
00:29:12,885 --> 00:29:15,387
No! Why
597
00:29:15,521 --> 00:29:17,089
Leave.
598
00:29:23,963 --> 00:29:25,164
Can I have a hug?
599
00:29:26,398 --> 00:29:28,000
I just want a...
600
00:29:28,868 --> 00:29:30,769
You usually hug me.
601
00:29:34,006 --> 00:29:37,543
Oh, what fools
these mortals be...
602
00:29:37,676 --> 00:29:39,645
Or not to be.
603
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,480
That is the question.
604
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,415
Shakespeare, baby.
605
00:29:45,317 --> 00:29:49,956
I might have to ask you
for something very special.
606
00:29:51,523 --> 00:29:52,925
Lucky me.
607
00:29:53,425 --> 00:29:54,560
Yes.
608
00:29:56,228 --> 00:29:58,764
Uh, Gil.
What do you want today?
609
00:29:58,898 --> 00:30:00,566
It was all my fault, okay?
610
00:30:00,699 --> 00:30:03,435
Fuck. Listen,
you can't fire my friends.
611
00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:05,037
You gotta un-fire 'em.
612
00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:06,638
I ain't got time
for your shit today, Wheeler.
613
00:30:06,772 --> 00:30:08,807
Well, I'm telling you, man,
this shit's gonna come out
614
00:30:08,941 --> 00:30:10,877
no matter
how you wanna play it.
615
00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:15,581
Gil, listen, man, you can't
fire Allison, Brock, and Keith
616
00:30:15,714 --> 00:30:17,216
for something I fucking did.
617
00:30:17,349 --> 00:30:18,784
Watch your tone.
It's my convention.
618
00:30:18,918 --> 00:30:20,252
I'll do what the fuck
I want with it.
619
00:30:20,386 --> 00:30:21,921
But you got it all wrong, man.
620
00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:23,322
Talking about
my friends, Gil.
621
00:30:23,455 --> 00:30:25,091
Yeah, yeah, your friends?
My friends.
622
00:30:25,224 --> 00:30:26,859
Really, yeah, whatever,
your friends.
623
00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:29,561
Where... All the fucking XLs
are gone? Shit.
624
00:30:29,695 --> 00:30:32,264
Hello. How are you?
I'm Matt Wheeler.
625
00:30:32,398 --> 00:30:34,433
It's lovely to meet you
and all your cash.
626
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:35,634
Wow!
627
00:30:35,767 --> 00:30:38,437
Wow. Is this all the Con cash?
628
00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:42,875
Stop touching shit,
all right?
629
00:30:43,009 --> 00:30:45,044
This is crazy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
630
00:30:45,177 --> 00:30:48,280
Your eyes, your eyes,
avert 'em, right here.
631
00:30:48,414 --> 00:30:50,917
This cash that you see?
This is mine.
632
00:30:51,050 --> 00:30:53,852
Your fucking buddy last night
went and drew a big-ass cock
633
00:30:53,986 --> 00:30:55,721
on Adam's car.
634
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,189
He assaulted him.
635
00:30:57,323 --> 00:31:00,026
Keith couldn't assault
a freaking turtle, man.
636
00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:01,493
Yeah, yeah, right.
If he did, it's 'cause King
637
00:31:01,627 --> 00:31:04,063
was slapping his balls
time and time again.
638
00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:06,565
I could've had your ass
arrested.
639
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,534
That's right,
but I didn't send you to jail.
640
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:10,702
You could've got... What?
Ten years.
641
00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:13,372
But I did something
a little lighter for you.
642
00:31:14,806 --> 00:31:16,242
You're fired.
643
00:31:18,144 --> 00:31:19,645
You're fucking fired.
644
00:31:19,778 --> 00:31:21,480
And you and your little
loser-ass friends
645
00:31:21,613 --> 00:31:24,850
don't ever, ever come back
to Supercon again.
646
00:31:24,984 --> 00:31:27,653
You're a fucking idiot.
You're banned.
647
00:31:27,786 --> 00:31:31,123
And you'll never work
the Southern cities
like, uh...
648
00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:32,658
Dallas.
Dallas.
649
00:31:32,791 --> 00:31:34,493
Houston.
Houston.
You love Houston.
650
00:31:34,626 --> 00:31:36,228
Dustin.
Dustin.
651
00:31:36,362 --> 00:31:37,896
Fucking New Orleans.
Baton Rouge.
652
00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:39,365
Best seafood in the world.
Baton Rouge.
653
00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:40,466
MATT: You're just
throwing out cities.
654
00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:41,500
The boot, bitch.
655
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,341
You're an idiot.
656
00:31:51,210 --> 00:31:53,012
You're banned.
657
00:31:55,147 --> 00:31:56,615
For life.
658
00:31:58,884 --> 00:32:00,352
You know, one of these days,
659
00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:03,189
all this shit, all of it...
Yeah?
660
00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:04,790
It's gonna catch up
with you.
661
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,258
Yeah?
662
00:32:06,392 --> 00:32:08,427
And I'm gonna be right there
to see it.
663
00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:31,150
KEITH: Do you piss
or shit yourself
when you get tased?
664
00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:32,918
'Cause you fucking
smell like both.
665
00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:36,088
Speaking of which,
I gotta take
the bus back home.
666
00:32:36,222 --> 00:32:37,990
You ever been on
a fucking Greyhound?
667
00:32:38,124 --> 00:32:39,425
Mm-hmm.
668
00:32:41,994 --> 00:32:43,495
Another round, Aaron.
669
00:32:44,263 --> 00:32:46,965
The bartender. That's classy.
670
00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:50,636
Even he has a better shot
than you.
671
00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:53,405
Well, at least we all
got fired together.
672
00:32:55,207 --> 00:32:56,742
What fucking kills me
673
00:32:56,875 --> 00:32:59,811
is that Gil's making
so much money off of everyone,
674
00:32:59,945 --> 00:33:03,049
that he needs
the cash machines
from Scarface to count it all.
675
00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:06,118
It's insane.
Shit ain't right.
676
00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:08,387
KEITH: You can't win
if the game's rigged.
677
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,592
I got an idea.
678
00:33:18,097 --> 00:33:21,267
Oh, I hope that's not what
he sounds like when he comes.
679
00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:24,270
Why are we meeting in here?
680
00:33:24,403 --> 00:33:26,338
Because it's a gym
during a comic convention.
681
00:33:26,472 --> 00:33:28,174
This room is safer
than the White House.
682
00:33:28,307 --> 00:33:29,641
Yeah, but what are we
doing in here, Matt?
683
00:33:29,775 --> 00:33:31,610
Hey, I'm not just gonna
blurt it out.
684
00:33:31,743 --> 00:33:33,212
I'm gonna seduce you.
685
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:34,913
Things are gonna get moist
in here, my friends.
686
00:33:35,047 --> 00:33:36,148
Very moist.
687
00:33:36,282 --> 00:33:37,649
All right, well, spit on it
688
00:33:37,783 --> 00:33:38,784
and put it in already,
for fuck's sakes.
689
00:33:44,423 --> 00:33:46,425
Let's rob Supercon.
690
00:33:52,664 --> 00:33:54,300
The fuck did he just say?
Excuse me?
691
00:33:54,433 --> 00:33:55,601
I'm in.
692
00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:57,035
What'd you give him
last night?
693
00:33:57,169 --> 00:33:58,937
Oh, she gave me hope, baby.
694
00:33:59,071 --> 00:34:00,972
We all know
Gil is the motherfucking
695
00:34:01,107 --> 00:34:03,109
Tony Montana of Supercon.
696
00:34:03,242 --> 00:34:04,643
Do you remember
what she said
697
00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:06,678
about the stormtroopers
robbing Dragoncon?
698
00:34:06,812 --> 00:34:08,447
Yeah.
We dress up,
699
00:34:09,115 --> 00:34:10,549
we steal the stash,
700
00:34:10,682 --> 00:34:13,552
and we walk out like
nothing every happened.
701
00:34:13,685 --> 00:34:17,256
You wanna steal
everyone's payout money?
702
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:20,726
You dick.
No. That's the sexy part.
703
00:34:20,859 --> 00:34:24,763
Allison, Gil pays out
everyone working
the Con Sunday morning,
704
00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:27,733
right before we all start
catching flights
or buses home.
705
00:34:27,866 --> 00:34:30,502
He pays out everyone,
except Adam King,
706
00:34:30,636 --> 00:34:34,306
'cause his humongous panel is
Sunday 2 p.m., the last day.
707
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,608
So the only cash left
in the office will be...
708
00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:38,910
Gil's money.
And King's money.
709
00:34:39,044 --> 00:34:40,379
Bringo.
710
00:34:40,512 --> 00:34:42,248
I'm in.
711
00:34:42,381 --> 00:34:43,982
Yeah, but the cops will
catch us in a heartbeat.
712
00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,351
You bet your flabby ass
they would,
713
00:34:45,484 --> 00:34:46,818
but who's calling
the cops, man?
714
00:34:46,952 --> 00:34:48,654
IRS will be all over him,
715
00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:50,989
plus an audit would show that
he's been skimming off the top
716
00:34:51,123 --> 00:34:52,491
all these years.
717
00:34:52,958 --> 00:34:54,260
I'm in.
718
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:58,597
You're nuts.
719
00:34:58,997 --> 00:35:00,399
Talk to me.
720
00:35:01,066 --> 00:35:02,234
I'm outta here.
721
00:35:02,368 --> 00:35:03,935
Enjoy your heist there,
Danny Ocean.
722
00:35:04,069 --> 00:35:05,871
Where you going, little lady?
I got a bus to catch.
723
00:35:06,004 --> 00:35:08,474
Your idea fucking sucks,
and my ass isn't that flabby.
724
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:11,277
You didn't even hear the plan,
Casey Affleck.
725
00:35:11,410 --> 00:35:12,578
I heard enough,
and Casey Affleck
726
00:35:12,711 --> 00:35:15,147
is easily the better Affleck.
727
00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:16,782
Later, fuckface.
728
00:35:18,016 --> 00:35:21,387
Go get him. Go get him.
729
00:35:23,755 --> 00:35:25,357
Don't move.
730
00:35:32,664 --> 00:35:35,467
Keith, wait up, you big puss.
731
00:35:36,668 --> 00:35:38,304
At least hear
the plan first, Keith.
732
00:35:38,437 --> 00:35:40,572
You did enough, man,
all right?
733
00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:42,974
You just got me fired from my
only fucking source of income,
734
00:35:43,108 --> 00:35:45,711
and now you want me to go
to prison, for five
to ten years? Fuck that.
735
00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:48,914
I needed the fucking money
from this weekend.
736
00:35:49,047 --> 00:35:51,750
Look, your share of the money
from this plan,
737
00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:54,553
you're gonna be a very wealthy
terrorist, my friend.
738
00:35:54,686 --> 00:35:56,788
I don't know if you know this,
but you're a white guy.
739
00:35:56,922 --> 00:35:59,658
You have all the opportunities
in the world in Hollywood.
740
00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:00,826
I don't have shit.
741
00:36:00,959 --> 00:36:02,160
You could be a leading man.
742
00:36:02,294 --> 00:36:03,662
You could be a fucking
supporting role.
743
00:36:03,795 --> 00:36:06,465
You can be a Japanese woman
if you needed to be.
744
00:36:06,598 --> 00:36:08,200
I was a series regular
for five years
745
00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:09,801
on fucking Tex Johnson,
746
00:36:09,935 --> 00:36:11,837
and my parents took
every dime I made.
747
00:36:11,970 --> 00:36:14,573
These conventions are the only
thing that give me any money,
748
00:36:14,706 --> 00:36:17,243
and thanks to you,
I don't even have
that anymore.
749
00:36:17,376 --> 00:36:18,910
I haven't worked
in over a fucking year,
750
00:36:19,044 --> 00:36:20,479
and I just lost my agent.
751
00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:21,880
Why?
752
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,615
'Cause she's
a fucking asshole.
753
00:36:23,749 --> 00:36:25,417
She keeps wanting me
to go out for these auditions
754
00:36:25,551 --> 00:36:28,086
for Terrorist Number One
and fucking Cab Driver
755
00:36:28,220 --> 00:36:29,788
and 7-Eleven
and Call Center.
756
00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:31,357
Well, with your share
of the money,
757
00:36:31,490 --> 00:36:33,058
you can buy a 7-Eleven.
758
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:34,893
I don't need
a fucking 7-Eleven!
759
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:38,096
I'm not going to jail 'cause
I'll be a fucking candy bar.
760
00:36:38,230 --> 00:36:39,698
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
761
00:36:39,831 --> 00:36:42,334
I'm sorry that every
acting job you go out for
762
00:36:42,468 --> 00:36:44,135
is for some racist shit.
763
00:36:44,270 --> 00:36:46,272
But you can't just walk away.
764
00:36:46,405 --> 00:36:47,906
Who wrote Harry Potter?
765
00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:49,275
Some fucking bitch in England.
766
00:36:49,408 --> 00:36:51,877
WOMAN: You mean J.K. Rowling?
767
00:36:52,010 --> 00:36:53,479
Yeah, you fucking dork.
Yeah, thanks!
768
00:36:53,612 --> 00:36:55,647
J.K. Fucking Rowling.
Dumbledore!
769
00:36:58,350 --> 00:37:02,153
She wrote that book after her
husband left her stone cold.
770
00:37:02,288 --> 00:37:04,055
J.K. had no money.
771
00:37:04,189 --> 00:37:06,124
J.K. had a baby to feed.
772
00:37:06,258 --> 00:37:07,759
J.K. had to go on welfare.
773
00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:09,261
J.K. didn't rob anybody.
774
00:37:09,395 --> 00:37:10,862
She wrote a children's
fucking book.
775
00:37:10,996 --> 00:37:12,898
J.K. grew some balls.
776
00:37:13,031 --> 00:37:14,900
And that's
what I'm talking about.
777
00:37:15,033 --> 00:37:19,237
'Cause if you walk, the Gils,
the Adam Kings of the world,
778
00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:20,806
they beat you.
779
00:37:20,939 --> 00:37:24,443
It's time for you
to grow some big, hairy...
780
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:26,378
Harry Potter balls.
781
00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:30,316
Can you do that?
782
00:37:36,154 --> 00:37:37,823
With or without cancer?
783
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:46,365
You guys know
this is a dumb idea, right?
784
00:37:47,065 --> 00:37:48,166
Oh, yeah, we do.
785
00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:49,601
I'm in.
786
00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:14,893
You forgot one thing, ugly.
787
00:38:15,026 --> 00:38:18,364
Never underestimate
Future Force.
788
00:38:18,497 --> 00:38:20,732
All right, Guardians...
789
00:38:20,866 --> 00:38:23,001
The bridge is secure.
Get the door.
790
00:38:23,769 --> 00:38:25,236
Babe, door.
791
00:38:25,371 --> 00:38:26,872
Attack formation
to the hangar.
792
00:38:27,005 --> 00:38:29,608
Sector seven, go.
793
00:38:32,243 --> 00:38:33,645
Hookers can't open doors?
794
00:38:37,483 --> 00:38:39,385
Hey!
Oh, it's you.
795
00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:44,523
Hail to the King!
796
00:38:44,656 --> 00:38:46,525
I was looking for you
in your hotel room.
797
00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:48,927
After the party last night,
it was barely habitable.
798
00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:51,363
You're gonna get the bill.
Don't get cheap on me, man.
799
00:38:51,497 --> 00:38:53,699
All right, yeah.
800
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,067
So what's up, Gil?
801
00:38:56,201 --> 00:38:58,470
I thought you said you were
gonna fix things around here.
802
00:38:59,137 --> 00:39:00,706
You know what, Mr. King?
803
00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:03,241
I'll assure you that I'ma
get to the bottom of this.
804
00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:10,516
See, I could've killed you
right there.
805
00:39:10,649 --> 00:39:12,150
You either had your hand
in her ass
806
00:39:12,283 --> 00:39:13,485
or your ass won.
807
00:39:13,619 --> 00:39:15,521
Get your shit together, Gil.
808
00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:18,323
Yeah, I gotta get it together.
All right.
809
00:39:18,457 --> 00:39:19,891
So what's the drop, fat man?
810
00:39:20,025 --> 00:39:23,228
Okay, last night,
we made about 45 grand.
811
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,363
That was before the incident.
812
00:39:25,497 --> 00:39:26,898
So we cool, we good.
813
00:39:27,032 --> 00:39:28,800
No, no.
We made a little money.
814
00:39:28,934 --> 00:39:31,737
We looking pretty cool.
No, not good enough, chief.
815
00:39:32,471 --> 00:39:35,474
Sorry. Jack it up.
816
00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:37,709
We should've made 75 grand
this morning.
817
00:39:37,843 --> 00:39:40,378
Okay, okay, okay,
I understand.
818
00:39:40,512 --> 00:39:42,714
But you know the fans...
Fuck the fans.
819
00:39:42,848 --> 00:39:44,115
Those underweight
knuckle-draggers
820
00:39:44,249 --> 00:39:45,751
will pay what I tell them to.
821
00:39:45,884 --> 00:39:49,120
You just...
Gil, you gotta smile at 'em.
822
00:39:49,254 --> 00:39:50,321
All right.
823
00:39:50,456 --> 00:39:51,923
Smile right in their faces,
824
00:39:52,057 --> 00:39:55,093
and you reach around and
grab their wallets, you see?
825
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,928
I like that, I like that.
826
00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:58,530
Now, you know the cons,
we never charge you...
827
00:39:58,664 --> 00:40:01,066
Stop! Shh.
828
00:40:01,199 --> 00:40:04,302
Shh, don't, don't talk,
don't speak.
829
00:40:04,436 --> 00:40:06,037
Say my name.
830
00:40:06,572 --> 00:40:08,507
BOTH: Adam King.
831
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,742
Tex Johnson, US Marshal.
832
00:40:10,876 --> 00:40:14,045
The Golden Guardian, huh?
833
00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:18,650
MAN: Who ordered
steak and lobster?
834
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:20,686
GIL: Get your ass in here.
835
00:40:20,819 --> 00:40:23,154
Come on, motherfucker.
Food's here.
836
00:40:23,288 --> 00:40:25,757
I have a lobster thermidor
837
00:40:25,891 --> 00:40:27,826
and a porterhouse steak
extra well-done.
838
00:40:27,959 --> 00:40:29,828
Oh, yeah, all right.
For your food.
839
00:40:29,961 --> 00:40:33,599
Cristal and beluga.
Yeah, there it is,
there it is.
840
00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:37,202
Oh, where's my kiwi?
841
00:40:37,335 --> 00:40:39,137
Babe, what color is kiwi?
842
00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,039
Green, like money.
843
00:40:41,172 --> 00:40:42,508
That green?
No.
844
00:40:42,641 --> 00:40:43,942
Is that green? No.
845
00:40:44,075 --> 00:40:45,777
All right, it's green.
Okay.
846
00:40:45,911 --> 00:40:47,646
Looks like
a big mast of testicle.
847
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,615
Okay, I'll...
Kiwi.
848
00:40:49,748 --> 00:40:51,282
See any kiwi?
Okay.
849
00:40:51,416 --> 00:40:53,519
Gil will take care of it.
Yeah, come on, man.
850
00:40:53,652 --> 00:40:55,120
Here's the bill.
Fuck the bill.
851
00:40:55,253 --> 00:40:57,255
Get your ass out.
Come on, Jonathan Winters.
852
00:40:57,388 --> 00:40:58,924
Get your ass outta here.
853
00:40:59,057 --> 00:41:01,627
Fuck you. Get outta here,
Get your ass outta here.
854
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,394
Yeah, big fan, Mr. King.
Hey, fuck you.
855
00:41:03,529 --> 00:41:06,264
Your movies got me through
a tough time in my childhood.
856
00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:08,834
Get your ass outta here.
Eat a dick.
857
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:09,968
Woo, woo!
858
00:41:10,101 --> 00:41:12,437
Yeah, take a number.
Woo, woo.
859
00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:14,339
** Pop a bottle
860
00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,575
** Pop a bottle on a bitch
861
00:41:16,708 --> 00:41:18,744
** Pop a bottle on a bitch
Woo, woo.
862
00:41:18,877 --> 00:41:21,212
** Pop a bottle on a bi...
863
00:41:21,346 --> 00:41:24,415
No, I wasn't calling
your girl a bitch.
864
00:41:24,550 --> 00:41:27,753
It's a new song out called
"Pop a Bottle."
865
00:41:27,886 --> 00:41:29,721
2 Chainz or one of them.
Open that.
866
00:41:29,855 --> 00:41:30,889
Okay.
867
00:41:33,058 --> 00:41:36,628
I know you all must have
a ton of questions.
868
00:41:37,095 --> 00:41:38,229
You know, um...
869
00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:41,600
Brock, can you please not...
870
00:41:42,768 --> 00:41:45,036
Brock, just... Not now.
871
00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:46,938
I gotta concentrate.
872
00:41:47,072 --> 00:41:48,439
Time and a place.
873
00:41:48,574 --> 00:41:51,176
I got all the ins and outs
covered, you know that.
874
00:41:51,309 --> 00:41:54,546
Ugh. I hope this
plan is better
than your pickup lines.
875
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,247
Don't hold your breath.
876
00:41:56,381 --> 00:41:59,618
Look, we all know that when
King leaves the stage,
877
00:41:59,751 --> 00:42:01,419
he gets the fuck out of Dodge.
878
00:42:01,553 --> 00:42:04,556
But not before he hands Gil
the autograph and photo money.
879
00:42:04,690 --> 00:42:05,724
Exactly.
880
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,325
So we have to get that money
881
00:42:07,458 --> 00:42:09,394
before it gets backstage
and into King's hands.
882
00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:10,962
Did you just...
883
00:42:12,397 --> 00:42:14,099
How do we do it?
884
00:42:14,232 --> 00:42:16,501
MATT: We start with Brock
breaking into Gil's office
885
00:42:16,635 --> 00:42:18,169
through the air vents.
886
00:42:18,303 --> 00:42:20,972
When he gets to Gil's office,
he rappels down...
887
00:42:21,106 --> 00:42:23,108
Think first
Mission: Impossible...
888
00:42:23,241 --> 00:42:25,711
And takes out Callahan...
VIDEO GAME ANNOUNCER:
Fatality.
889
00:42:25,844 --> 00:42:28,479
MATT: Sub-Zero style
from Mortal Kombat.
890
00:42:28,614 --> 00:42:31,449
Allison, you're gonna be
looking like Emilia Clarke
891
00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:34,385
riding in on a fucking dragon.
892
00:42:34,519 --> 00:42:36,855
You lure Gil all the way
to the loading dock.
893
00:42:36,988 --> 00:42:40,158
And just when Gil thinks
he's gonna get lucky,
894
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:42,060
you drop a lighter
into a puddle of gasoline
895
00:42:42,193 --> 00:42:44,696
that Gil just happens
to be standing in,
896
00:42:44,830 --> 00:42:47,699
turning him into
the Human Torch.
897
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,871
MATT: Now, me and Keith
are gonna meet up with Brock.
898
00:42:53,004 --> 00:42:55,340
We crack the safe,
we load up the bags,
899
00:42:55,473 --> 00:42:57,809
and we get the fuck
out of there.
900
00:42:57,943 --> 00:42:59,778
We all meet up out front
of the Con.
901
00:42:59,911 --> 00:43:01,813
We're scot-free.
We celebrate.
902
00:43:01,947 --> 00:43:05,917
Me and Allison make out,
just like she always planned.
903
00:43:06,051 --> 00:43:09,087
That's the plan?
So much wrong with that plan.
904
00:43:09,220 --> 00:43:12,423
You think I'm gonna just
light a man on fire?
905
00:43:12,557 --> 00:43:14,059
KEITH:
What about Adam King?
906
00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:15,961
What about security cameras?
What about Callahan?
907
00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:17,929
What about people seeing
our fucking faces?
908
00:43:18,063 --> 00:43:19,998
Why don't we just do
the stormtropper thing?
909
00:43:20,131 --> 00:43:22,333
Because we're
doing an original.
This is not a sequel.
910
00:43:22,467 --> 00:43:24,903
But I'm wearing
a Targaryen princess outfit
911
00:43:25,036 --> 00:43:26,337
for absolutely no reason?
912
00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:27,806
Well, one reason.
913
00:43:27,939 --> 00:43:29,474
I think I could still
catch that bus.
914
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:32,711
Well, I'm in.
MATT:
Thank you, Brock.
915
00:43:32,844 --> 00:43:36,848
You can still grow some balls
in plan B.
916
00:43:36,982 --> 00:43:39,050
Right before Adam King's
panel starts,
917
00:43:39,184 --> 00:43:41,252
Keith and I will be
on the floor in costumes,
918
00:43:41,386 --> 00:43:42,553
so we won't get caught.
919
00:43:42,688 --> 00:43:44,322
Yeah, bitch.
920
00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:46,624
Callahan will be on guard
outside Gil's office.
921
00:43:46,758 --> 00:43:48,259
Allison,
it's gonna be your job
922
00:43:48,393 --> 00:43:50,762
to seduce Callahan
away from the office.
923
00:43:50,896 --> 00:43:53,699
You do this by having sex
with Callahan.
924
00:43:53,832 --> 00:43:55,333
And in the middle of
that disgusting act,
925
00:43:55,466 --> 00:43:58,369
you knock out Callahan
with a tire iron.
926
00:43:58,503 --> 00:44:00,839
Now, after breaking in
through the air vents,
927
00:44:00,972 --> 00:44:03,208
Brock, you're gonna radio me
and Keith, so we can come in,
928
00:44:03,341 --> 00:44:07,112
grab the cash,
and skedaddlee-do outta there.
929
00:44:07,245 --> 00:44:09,147
Allison, you're gonna
infiltrate, that's right,
930
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,982
infiltrate
the security office
931
00:44:11,116 --> 00:44:12,884
and wipe all
the security footage clean,
932
00:44:13,018 --> 00:44:15,320
wearing a different
sexy cosplay outfit.
933
00:44:15,453 --> 00:44:16,722
Dealer's choice.
934
00:44:16,855 --> 00:44:18,289
We meet up in the parking lot.
935
00:44:18,423 --> 00:44:21,793
We drive off into the sunset
in Bigfoot Number One.
936
00:44:23,461 --> 00:44:26,664
Allison, you and me
make out hard.
937
00:44:26,798 --> 00:44:29,567
Go big, finish big.
938
00:44:29,701 --> 00:44:33,471
Why am I the whore?
Why can't Keith be the whore?
939
00:44:33,604 --> 00:44:35,606
Well...
I'll be the whore.
940
00:44:35,741 --> 00:44:38,209
Bigfoot?
What, do you live in the '80s?
941
00:44:38,343 --> 00:44:41,479
Oh, yeah, and on that note,
I cannot drive
a monster truck.
942
00:44:41,612 --> 00:44:43,548
You did in Downtown Crime.
943
00:44:43,681 --> 00:44:46,284
That was Gary Jensen,
stuntman.
944
00:44:46,417 --> 00:44:51,957
Not a problem, 'cause I got it
all worked out in plan C.
945
00:44:52,090 --> 00:44:54,926
Plan C?
Plan C?
946
00:44:55,060 --> 00:44:56,394
Same thing out front.
947
00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:58,329
Me and Keith are gonna
be on the floor.
948
00:44:58,463 --> 00:45:00,231
Brock, you're in
your favorite place.
949
00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:02,367
Allison, you're still
distracting Callahan,
950
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,202
but you're not
having sex with him.
951
00:45:04,335 --> 00:45:06,571
You just need to get him away
from that door.
952
00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:08,874
You're gonna be hauling ass
over to the security office,
953
00:45:09,007 --> 00:45:11,276
and you're gonna
be wiping all the security
footage clean,
954
00:45:11,409 --> 00:45:15,180
wearing a sexy,
tiny Japanese anime number.
955
00:45:15,313 --> 00:45:17,949
Brock rappels down
the air vent.
956
00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:20,051
He unlocks the door
for me and Keith.
957
00:45:20,685 --> 00:45:22,153
We crack the safe,
958
00:45:22,287 --> 00:45:24,923
we load up all the bags
and get the heck outta there.
959
00:45:25,056 --> 00:45:26,657
We meet at the getaway car,
960
00:45:26,792 --> 00:45:28,459
Lee Harvey Oswald's
favorite target practice,
961
00:45:28,593 --> 00:45:30,762
a cherry Lincoln Continental.
962
00:45:30,896 --> 00:45:32,397
Hold up.
963
00:45:32,530 --> 00:45:35,466
I'm not happy about being
on security detail,
964
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:36,935
but I'll do it.
965
00:45:37,068 --> 00:45:38,469
But you're in
for the outfits, right?
966
00:45:38,603 --> 00:45:40,906
Problem is,
if we wipe the security cams,
967
00:45:41,039 --> 00:45:44,475
we can't keep track of
Adam King and Gil
on the floor.
968
00:45:44,609 --> 00:45:46,511
Not a problem.
We got Brock in the air vents.
969
00:45:46,644 --> 00:45:48,279
Cover all our asses.
970
00:45:48,413 --> 00:45:50,748
Where are these cars
coming from?
971
00:45:50,882 --> 00:45:52,750
It's my plan, man.
I get to pick the cars.
972
00:45:52,884 --> 00:45:54,052
Hey, I got an idea.
973
00:45:54,185 --> 00:45:56,421
Why don't we
just take a shuttle bus?
974
00:45:56,554 --> 00:45:59,657
This plan you speak of
is full of holes.
975
00:45:59,791 --> 00:46:01,459
Shut up, Matt.
976
00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:06,631
However, I think
we can really do this.
977
00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:08,900
Guys, we gonna do this?
978
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:10,535
I'm in.
979
00:46:12,871 --> 00:46:14,172
I'm in.
980
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:20,245
It's like the tip of my cock
in your ass, Matt.
981
00:46:21,012 --> 00:46:22,347
I'm in.
982
00:46:24,549 --> 00:46:25,616
Yes!
983
00:46:25,750 --> 00:46:27,618
We still need one more person
984
00:46:27,752 --> 00:46:28,854
just to keep their
eyes on Gil.
985
00:46:28,987 --> 00:46:30,388
And King.
986
00:46:34,559 --> 00:46:36,294
I have an idea.
987
00:46:39,931 --> 00:46:42,700
I really should've been Obama.
Why?
988
00:46:42,834 --> 00:46:45,971
I don't know, it looks like
they outsourced Trump's hands.
989
00:46:46,104 --> 00:46:47,505
Where the hell is Brock?
990
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:48,840
Right here.
991
00:46:48,974 --> 00:46:51,742
What, this old thing?
992
00:46:51,877 --> 00:46:53,144
Watch it.
993
00:46:53,879 --> 00:46:55,280
SID: Kirby taught me...
994
00:46:55,413 --> 00:46:56,447
There's our guy.
995
00:46:56,581 --> 00:46:57,883
How to be more dramatic,
996
00:46:58,016 --> 00:47:00,218
how to make things
bigger than life,
997
00:47:00,351 --> 00:47:02,653
and he was absolutely right.
998
00:47:02,787 --> 00:47:04,856
Kirby was a wonderful man.
999
00:47:04,990 --> 00:47:06,858
I mean, he taught me so much.
1000
00:47:06,992 --> 00:47:08,459
Um, Sid, hi.
1001
00:47:10,962 --> 00:47:12,730
Allie bear.
Rrr.
1002
00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:15,666
Hi. Love this disguise.
1003
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,136
It's a Louise Brooks
sort of goth nerd?
1004
00:47:18,269 --> 00:47:20,471
It's Louise Brooks-ish, yeah.
1005
00:47:20,605 --> 00:47:24,442
Everybody, this is my favorite
artist working today,
1006
00:47:24,575 --> 00:47:27,612
Allison McNealy,
and she is great.
1007
00:47:27,745 --> 00:47:31,049
Oh, by the way, great work
on your book Battle Worlds.
1008
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:33,284
It's fantastic. Great, kiddo.
1009
00:47:33,418 --> 00:47:34,419
Thanks.
1010
00:47:34,552 --> 00:47:36,187
Thank you, Sid.
1011
00:47:37,455 --> 00:47:40,091
Willie Nelson
is playing a concert.
1012
00:47:40,225 --> 00:47:42,327
Sorry, hon.
I'm a little deaf.
1013
00:47:43,194 --> 00:47:45,096
Willie Nelson
is playing a concert.
1014
00:47:45,230 --> 00:47:49,034
This is... That's Vietnam,
so you have to speak loud.
1015
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,103
We've got great weed.
1016
00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:55,506
Guys, back in 20!
1017
00:48:03,481 --> 00:48:06,751
How much of this shit
have you kids been smoking?
1018
00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:08,453
KEITH: Not enough.
1019
00:48:12,457 --> 00:48:13,391
Whoa!
1020
00:48:13,524 --> 00:48:16,427
Hey, you're in Silicon Valley.
1021
00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:19,197
Parks and Rec.
Oh, that's not as funny.
1022
00:48:19,330 --> 00:48:20,999
I mean, it's still good.
1023
00:48:21,933 --> 00:48:23,768
I guess it's good.
1024
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:26,404
Sid, come on,
what do you think?
1025
00:48:26,537 --> 00:48:28,406
You in?
I don't know, folks.
1026
00:48:28,539 --> 00:48:32,110
I'm still trying
to wrap my head
around this thing.
1027
00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:35,413
Which does not make it
not the right thing to do.
1028
00:48:35,546 --> 00:48:37,949
I have a longer,
darker history
with Adam King
1029
00:48:38,083 --> 00:48:39,917
than you kids know about.
1030
00:48:40,051 --> 00:48:41,987
Back in '79,
1031
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,855
my lovely ex-wife,
God rest her soul,
1032
00:48:44,990 --> 00:48:46,657
warned me
that he was gonna screw me
1033
00:48:46,791 --> 00:48:51,929
on the Future Force TV deal,
which he did.
1034
00:48:52,063 --> 00:48:54,432
Had to fight for years
to get the rights back,
1035
00:48:54,565 --> 00:48:57,202
spent a small fortune
doing it.
1036
00:48:57,335 --> 00:49:02,073
Now I just wanna
share stories with fans,
1037
00:49:02,207 --> 00:49:06,544
and not with the inmates
of cell block D.
1038
00:49:09,647 --> 00:49:14,319
I grew up reading your comics,
Mr. Newberry.
1039
00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:18,256
What made your comics great
wasn't the superheroes.
1040
00:49:18,389 --> 00:49:21,192
Your books were about
human morality
1041
00:49:21,326 --> 00:49:23,528
wrapped in a superhero cape.
1042
00:49:23,661 --> 00:49:25,330
When those pages
were open, man,
1043
00:49:25,463 --> 00:49:27,665
I didn't think about
being the weird kid,
1044
00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:31,202
I didn't think about
Tito Lopez kicking my ass
in the fourth grade.
1045
00:49:31,336 --> 00:49:34,639
When I was reading your books,
I wasn't alone.
1046
00:49:34,772 --> 00:49:36,341
That's it. The people
who come to these cons,
1047
00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:38,476
and I'm talking about
all of us,
1048
00:49:38,609 --> 00:49:42,280
this is where
we don't feel alone.
1049
00:49:44,749 --> 00:49:46,484
The Adam Kings of the world?
1050
00:49:47,885 --> 00:49:49,254
The Gils?
1051
00:49:50,288 --> 00:49:52,223
They're robbing that from us.
1052
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:54,259
They overcharge,
1053
00:49:54,392 --> 00:49:57,195
and they treat the fans
like shit.
1054
00:49:59,164 --> 00:50:00,598
Sid...
1055
00:50:01,532 --> 00:50:04,035
We wanna take it back
for the fans.
1056
00:50:21,219 --> 00:50:26,224
You know, either this grass
is really, really good,
1057
00:50:26,357 --> 00:50:28,826
or this kid just
monologued me.
1058
00:50:28,959 --> 00:50:30,461
Sid.
1059
00:50:30,595 --> 00:50:32,597
Listen, that was very good.
I wish I had a pen.
1060
00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:36,901
Sid, is that a yes?
Is that a yes?
1061
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:39,470
You're great kids,
1062
00:50:39,604 --> 00:50:42,573
and Adam King is
an incredible asshole,
1063
00:50:42,707 --> 00:50:45,110
but unfortunately,
he makes up a major part
1064
00:50:45,243 --> 00:50:48,213
of my retirement income,
1065
00:50:48,346 --> 00:50:51,349
so you see,
he's my necessary evil.
1066
00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:56,954
Let's do another book soon.
1067
00:50:57,088 --> 00:50:58,623
Good luck, guys.
1068
00:50:59,524 --> 00:51:00,591
Sid...
1069
00:51:02,427 --> 00:51:04,295
Can you at least
think about it?
1070
00:51:05,296 --> 00:51:08,199
Not if I smoke
any more of that weed.
1071
00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:10,901
I'm gonna go play
some Allman Brothers.
1072
00:51:11,035 --> 00:51:13,238
Oops, sorry.
1073
00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:16,307
Thought this was
the hentai room.
1074
00:51:20,445 --> 00:51:22,547
Dare I ask about a plan D?
1075
00:51:23,047 --> 00:51:24,815
Who has a plan D?
1076
00:51:24,949 --> 00:51:26,317
Obviously not you.
1077
00:51:29,019 --> 00:51:34,225
Oh, oh, Mr. King!
Mr. King!
1078
00:51:34,359 --> 00:51:36,994
Mr. King, can I please
have your autograph?
1079
00:51:37,128 --> 00:51:40,131
Sure, big guy,
anything for
a Future Force fan.
1080
00:51:40,265 --> 00:51:42,099
You're my hero.
1081
00:51:42,233 --> 00:51:44,302
Oh, I love your work, man.
I bet you do.
1082
00:51:44,435 --> 00:51:46,537
It's pretty good,
isn't it? Yeah.
1083
00:51:46,671 --> 00:51:48,539
All right, there ya go.
75 bucks, bro.
1084
00:51:48,673 --> 00:51:50,441
Oh, my sister's
at the restaurant.
1085
00:51:50,575 --> 00:51:52,277
I don't have any money.
1086
00:51:52,410 --> 00:51:54,412
I just thought you could
give it for me for free.
1087
00:51:55,413 --> 00:51:57,682
Oh, I don't...
I just thought...
1088
00:51:58,883 --> 00:52:01,852
Golden Guardian doesn't
work for free, kid.
1089
00:52:01,986 --> 00:52:05,122
You can have this when you go
into your sister's purse,
1090
00:52:05,256 --> 00:52:06,757
steal 75 bucks.
1091
00:52:06,891 --> 00:52:09,794
Got it right here for ya,
all right?
1092
00:52:09,927 --> 00:52:11,996
Yeah. Let's go, babe.
1093
00:52:12,129 --> 00:52:13,698
Bye-bye now.
1094
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:16,801
Oh.
1095
00:52:16,934 --> 00:52:18,369
Think fast.
1096
00:52:20,738 --> 00:52:23,808
I can't believe who they
let in these things anymore.
1097
00:52:25,776 --> 00:52:27,077
You dick!
1098
00:52:31,148 --> 00:52:32,517
Motherfucker!
1099
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:35,119
ADAM: Hey, Sid Newberry,
you're still alive, huh?
1100
00:52:35,253 --> 00:52:37,655
Good for you, good for you.
1101
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:41,192
You know,
that's not his real name.
1102
00:52:44,094 --> 00:52:48,233
Yeah, I can't ride a bike,
and I can't roller-skate
either.
1103
00:52:55,373 --> 00:52:57,675
Sid! I knew you'd come back.
1104
00:52:57,808 --> 00:52:59,210
How'd you find us?
1105
00:52:59,344 --> 00:53:02,780
I just came in
for some more of that weed.
1106
00:53:11,856 --> 00:53:13,724
Thanks.
1107
00:53:13,858 --> 00:53:15,159
You know you don't have
to keep on working
when you get fired.
1108
00:53:15,293 --> 00:53:17,928
Mm. This one's for me.
1109
00:53:18,062 --> 00:53:19,464
Really
1110
00:53:19,597 --> 00:53:20,898
You're not Adam King.
1111
00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:24,969
Golden Guardian,
our fearless leader.
1112
00:53:27,272 --> 00:53:28,973
Fearless leader.
1113
00:53:29,106 --> 00:53:31,809
That's one thing
I've never been accused of.
1114
00:53:34,011 --> 00:53:35,713
Uh-oh.
1115
00:53:39,984 --> 00:53:41,619
There it is.
1116
00:53:41,752 --> 00:53:44,389
Hey, I feel like you're about
to bestow us some wisdom.
1117
00:53:44,522 --> 00:53:45,823
Here's some wisdom.
1118
00:53:45,956 --> 00:53:48,726
I just wish you guys
would just fuck already.
1119
00:53:48,859 --> 00:53:50,395
Whoa, whoa.
Don't do it for me.
1120
00:53:50,528 --> 00:53:52,363
Do it for you.
1121
00:53:55,433 --> 00:53:57,134
KEITH:
I just want you guys to fuck.
1122
00:53:57,268 --> 00:53:58,569
Just get it out of the way,
1123
00:53:58,703 --> 00:54:02,673
and then we can be
all normal again.
1124
00:54:02,807 --> 00:54:05,776
Can you believe this
is possibly our last night
of freedom?
1125
00:54:08,579 --> 00:54:11,649
This is the best night
of my life.
1126
00:54:12,383 --> 00:54:13,951
I believe you.
1127
00:54:18,222 --> 00:54:20,491
The night was mighty dark,
1128
00:54:20,625 --> 00:54:22,593
so you could hardly see.
1129
00:54:23,928 --> 00:54:26,331
And the moon
refused to shine.
1130
00:54:30,735 --> 00:54:35,005
There was this couple sitting
underneath the willow tree.
1131
00:54:36,474 --> 00:54:37,808
For love...
1132
00:54:39,176 --> 00:54:40,745
For love, they pined.
1133
00:54:43,714 --> 00:54:47,284
The little maid was
kinda 'fraid of darkness,
1134
00:54:47,418 --> 00:54:49,587
so she said,
1135
00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:52,323
"I guess I'll go."
1136
00:54:55,726 --> 00:54:58,563
The boy began to sigh.
1137
00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:01,632
He looked up in the sky,
1138
00:55:01,766 --> 00:55:06,837
and he told the moon
his little tale of woe.
1139
00:55:06,971 --> 00:55:08,473
He said...
1140
00:55:08,606 --> 00:55:10,341
** Shine on
1141
00:55:10,475 --> 00:55:14,278
** Shine on, harvest moon
1142
00:55:14,412 --> 00:55:17,348
** Up in the sky
1143
00:55:17,482 --> 00:55:21,652
** I ain't had no loving since
1144
00:55:21,786 --> 00:55:26,391
** January, February,
June or July
1145
00:55:26,524 --> 00:55:28,559
** Snow time
1146
00:55:28,693 --> 00:55:32,196
** Ain't no time to stay
1147
00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:34,365
** Outdoors and spoon
1148
00:55:34,499 --> 00:55:37,368
** So shine on
1149
00:55:37,502 --> 00:55:40,671
** Shine on, harvest moon
1150
00:55:40,805 --> 00:55:43,441
** For me and my gal, yeah
1151
00:55:43,574 --> 00:55:45,976
** So shine on
1152
00:55:46,110 --> 00:55:49,179
** Shine on, harvest moon
Where?
1153
00:55:49,313 --> 00:55:52,182
** Up in the sky
That's right!
1154
00:55:52,316 --> 00:55:56,020
** I ain't had no lovin' since
1155
00:55:56,153 --> 00:56:00,324
** January, February, June
It's so sad!
1156
00:56:00,458 --> 00:56:02,092
** Snow time
1157
00:56:02,226 --> 00:56:06,664
** Ain't no time
to stay outdoors and spoon
1158
00:56:06,797 --> 00:56:08,466
** It leads to forking!
1159
00:56:08,599 --> 00:56:10,435
** Shine on
1160
00:56:10,568 --> 00:56:13,404
** Shine on, harvest moon
1161
00:56:13,538 --> 00:56:16,541
** For me and my gal **
1162
00:56:27,918 --> 00:56:29,920
MATT:
You know if we get nailed,
1163
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:33,057
I just ruined the lives
of four people
I really care about.
1164
00:56:33,190 --> 00:56:34,291
True.
1165
00:56:34,425 --> 00:56:35,960
Do you think you
and this crew
1166
00:56:36,093 --> 00:56:39,396
can handle 10 years
in a maximum security prison?
1167
00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:42,733
You heard Keith. He's happy
for the first time since
he was 12.
1168
00:56:42,867 --> 00:56:44,902
Brock is clearly loving it.
1169
00:56:45,035 --> 00:56:47,872
Sid's finally
part of a superhero team.
1170
00:56:48,839 --> 00:56:50,340
So?
1171
00:56:50,475 --> 00:56:52,176
In or out, Wheeler?
1172
00:56:55,245 --> 00:56:59,016
If that's not Adam King,
and I'm now the
Golden Guardian,
1173
00:56:59,149 --> 00:57:01,318
you gotta make my package
way bigger.
1174
00:57:01,452 --> 00:57:02,920
Just sayin'.
1175
00:57:18,936 --> 00:57:20,805
MATT: Okay, guys,
we all know the plan.
1176
00:57:20,938 --> 00:57:23,073
Until we actually
touch the money,
1177
00:57:23,207 --> 00:57:25,175
we haven't done
anything illegal.
1178
00:57:25,309 --> 00:57:27,545
We're just LARPing.
1179
00:57:27,678 --> 00:57:29,079
That's the story.
1180
00:57:34,619 --> 00:57:35,820
** Yeah
1181
00:57:39,624 --> 00:57:41,692
** Galaxy Enterprise
1182
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:44,862
** You know what it is
1183
00:57:44,995 --> 00:57:46,531
** One, I'ma get it
1184
00:57:46,664 --> 00:57:48,165
** They say the sky the limit
1185
00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:50,100
** But I'm shooting
for the stars
1186
00:57:50,234 --> 00:57:52,236
** 'Cause the sky,
I'm living in it
1187
00:57:52,369 --> 00:57:56,641
** Last night I had a vision
that I was gonna be rich
1188
00:57:56,774 --> 00:57:59,143
** Today I woke up rich
Yeah.
1189
00:57:59,276 --> 00:58:01,011
** Ain't that a bitch
There you are.
1190
00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:04,114
** I just get this Guwop
and stack it
1191
00:58:04,248 --> 00:58:06,216
** I just get this Guwop
and stack it
1192
00:58:06,350 --> 00:58:09,219
** Ain't no leasing
on that phantom, nigga
1193
00:58:12,289 --> 00:58:14,324
** I just get this Guwop
and stack it
1194
00:58:14,458 --> 00:58:16,426
Still got any body oil?
1195
00:58:16,561 --> 00:58:19,129
Body oil. Babe!
1196
00:58:19,263 --> 00:58:22,332
** It's all about actin'
To be all G, these niggas PC
1197
00:58:22,466 --> 00:58:24,268
** 'Cause they definitely
ain't Mac'n
1198
00:58:24,401 --> 00:58:26,103
** Talk bricks
all in that stash box
1199
00:58:26,236 --> 00:58:28,372
** But he certainly
ain't trapping
1200
00:58:28,505 --> 00:58:30,407
** They think the lane theirs
They ain't playing fair
1201
00:58:30,541 --> 00:58:32,442
** To I catch 'em off
up in traffic
1202
00:58:32,577 --> 00:58:34,344
** Run on 'em off the road
The king overthrown
1203
00:58:34,478 --> 00:58:37,214
** Before ya realize
what happen, whoa
1204
00:58:37,347 --> 00:58:38,649
** One, I'ma get it
1205
00:58:38,783 --> 00:58:40,284
** They say the sky the limit
1206
00:58:40,417 --> 00:58:42,219
** But I'm shooting
for the stars
1207
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:44,354
** 'Cause the sky,
I'm living in it
1208
00:58:44,488 --> 00:58:48,593
** Last night I had a vision
that I was gonna be rich
1209
00:58:48,726 --> 00:58:50,795
** Today I woke up rich
1210
00:58:50,928 --> 00:58:52,462
** Ain't that a bitch
1211
00:58:52,597 --> 00:58:54,364
** I just get this Guwop
and stack it
1212
00:58:54,498 --> 00:58:56,233
** I just get
this Guwop and stack it
1213
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,068
** I just get this Guwop
and stack it
1214
00:58:58,202 --> 00:59:01,872
** Ain't no leasing
on that phantom, nigga
1215
00:59:04,274 --> 00:59:06,043
** I just get this Guwop
and stack it
1216
00:59:06,176 --> 00:59:09,546
** Ain't no leasing
on that phantom, nigga
1217
00:59:12,116 --> 00:59:13,483
** I just get this Guwop
and stack it **
1218
00:59:13,618 --> 00:59:15,786
Good luck.
1219
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:19,489
I feel like that was
a reference to something
I should know.
1220
00:59:19,624 --> 00:59:21,058
This is it.
See ya in a few.
1221
00:59:21,191 --> 00:59:22,192
All right.
1222
00:59:22,593 --> 00:59:23,728
Yo, Wheeler.
1223
00:59:23,861 --> 00:59:26,130
Yeah.
Don't fuck this up,
1224
00:59:26,263 --> 00:59:28,933
there might be
something waiting
for you at the end of it.
1225
00:59:32,870 --> 00:59:34,839
Motherfucker.
1226
00:59:40,544 --> 00:59:41,846
Boom!
1227
00:59:50,988 --> 00:59:52,923
All right.
We have a hole.
1228
00:59:58,362 --> 00:59:59,630
That's quite a hole.
1229
00:59:59,764 --> 01:00:01,899
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Not bad.
1230
01:00:02,032 --> 01:00:03,500
Speaking of.
Wait.
1231
01:00:03,634 --> 01:00:04,902
You couldn't just be
a cat burglar.
1232
01:00:05,035 --> 01:00:06,771
You had to be
a sexy cat burglar?
1233
01:00:06,904 --> 01:00:08,272
This was the only outfit
I could find on the floor
1234
01:00:08,405 --> 01:00:10,174
that fit the job.
1235
01:00:10,307 --> 01:00:11,275
Are you wearing heels?
1236
01:00:11,408 --> 01:00:12,710
Yes, I am.
1237
01:00:12,843 --> 01:00:14,845
Well, more of a go-go boot,
but yes.
1238
01:00:14,979 --> 01:00:16,313
Where the fuck
is your harness?
1239
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:17,682
It's underneath.
1240
01:00:17,815 --> 01:00:19,249
Want me to ruin this line?
1241
01:00:19,383 --> 01:00:20,985
Well, you working it,
pussycat.
Come over here.
1242
01:00:21,118 --> 01:00:23,320
Thank you, Matt.
1243
01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:25,089
Let's give you some light.
1244
01:00:25,222 --> 01:00:27,792
Must be so tight on my junk
'cause it feels very good.
1245
01:00:27,925 --> 01:00:29,994
It's a natural tea bag.
Thank you.
1246
01:00:30,127 --> 01:00:33,130
Oh, God, wait!
Those are my balls! Please!
1247
01:00:33,263 --> 01:00:35,265
You're touching my taint!
Get outta my taint!
1248
01:00:35,399 --> 01:00:38,202
That's my face.
Oh, sorry.
Can you smell that?
1249
01:00:38,335 --> 01:00:39,937
Go, Brock, go!
1250
01:00:40,070 --> 01:00:42,907
It's like being a suppository
in the anus of hell.
1251
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,242
I can't believe
that you got...
1252
01:00:45,375 --> 01:00:46,376
Oh, shit!
1253
01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:49,279
BROCK: I'm fine.
Brock!
1254
01:00:49,413 --> 01:00:51,248
It's good
1255
01:00:51,381 --> 01:00:52,850
BROCK: Help.
1256
01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:54,418
I mean,
just stay where you are.
1257
01:00:54,551 --> 01:00:55,753
Okay.
1258
01:00:56,253 --> 01:00:57,121
Jesus!
1259
01:00:57,254 --> 01:00:58,823
Can you feel
your legs?
1260
01:00:58,956 --> 01:01:00,758
BROCK:
I've got legs?
1261
01:01:00,891 --> 01:01:02,492
Let's just get
him the bags.
1262
01:01:02,626 --> 01:01:05,996
BROCK:
Just stay where you...
Throw me the bags!
1263
01:01:08,398 --> 01:01:09,900
Oh!
1264
01:01:12,737 --> 01:01:14,004
Thanks.
1265
01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:15,873
Okay.
1266
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:33,423
MATT: Let us know when
the eagle has left the nest.
1267
01:01:33,557 --> 01:01:35,125
KEITH: I'm fogging up
faster than a teenager
1268
01:01:35,259 --> 01:01:37,862
in the back seat
of a Honda Civic.
1269
01:01:37,995 --> 01:01:40,064
MATT: Be thankful
you're not wearing a turban.
1270
01:01:45,469 --> 01:01:46,636
You know, 40 years...
1271
01:01:46,771 --> 01:01:48,705
Ooh!
1272
01:01:48,839 --> 01:01:51,241
38 movies,
2 television shows,
1273
01:01:51,375 --> 01:01:54,845
and you are by far
the worst sound guy
I've ever worked with.
1274
01:01:54,979 --> 01:01:56,046
I mean, seriously,
look at this.
1275
01:01:56,180 --> 01:01:58,048
Looks like I have a hernia.
1276
01:02:00,150 --> 01:02:01,952
You giving me a hand job now?
1277
01:02:03,553 --> 01:02:04,955
Hi, gents.
1278
01:02:05,089 --> 01:02:07,457
Do you guys mind
if I hang back here,
1279
01:02:07,591 --> 01:02:08,859
see the big panel?
1280
01:02:08,993 --> 01:02:10,961
I just love to see
the fans' faces
1281
01:02:11,095 --> 01:02:12,963
when they talk about
Future Force.
1282
01:02:13,097 --> 01:02:14,464
Yeah, well,
that makes one of us.
1283
01:02:14,598 --> 01:02:16,033
GIL: You want me
to get this guy, King?
1284
01:02:16,166 --> 01:02:17,434
Who the fuck...
Ah, that's okay.
1285
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:18,702
It's all right.
He's harmless.
1286
01:02:18,836 --> 01:02:19,970
Aren't you, Sid?
1287
01:02:20,104 --> 01:02:21,405
Glad you're still my fan
1288
01:02:21,538 --> 01:02:23,974
after all those lawyers
got through with ya.
1289
01:02:24,909 --> 01:02:27,377
Boy, he's asking for it.
1290
01:02:27,511 --> 01:02:30,614
Oh, now it looks like I have
R2D2 hanging from my balls.
1291
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:32,817
Seriously?
Sorry, sir.
1292
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:35,419
Come on, beat it, Pepe.
Get outta here.
1293
01:02:35,552 --> 01:02:38,722
Yep, you know, I haven't
killed a man since Vietnam,
1294
01:02:38,856 --> 01:02:41,358
but that may change today.
1295
01:02:41,491 --> 01:02:43,794
Here you go, honey.
You're welcome.
1296
01:02:49,399 --> 01:02:51,902
I can give you this handheld
mic, if you'd rather.
1297
01:02:53,170 --> 01:02:55,772
You mean this was an option
the entire time?
1298
01:02:55,906 --> 01:02:57,674
I'm sorry.
I just thought that...
1299
01:02:59,509 --> 01:03:00,878
Oh, my God.
1300
01:03:12,923 --> 01:03:14,859
ANNOUNCER: You know him
as Tex Johnson,
1301
01:03:14,992 --> 01:03:16,827
you know him as
the Golden Guardian,
1302
01:03:16,961 --> 01:03:21,665
it's the one, the only,
Adam King!
1303
01:03:37,514 --> 01:03:39,049
Yes!
1304
01:03:41,785 --> 01:03:43,487
Yes!
1305
01:03:45,355 --> 01:03:47,124
Look at us.
What a great crowd.
1306
01:03:47,257 --> 01:03:48,859
I think this is the biggest
crowd so far at the Con.
1307
01:03:48,993 --> 01:03:50,194
Isn't it
1308
01:03:53,463 --> 01:03:54,831
I know it is.
1309
01:03:54,965 --> 01:03:56,366
They sold too many tickets,
you know,
1310
01:03:56,500 --> 01:03:58,869
but there's a line
all the way around
1311
01:03:59,003 --> 01:04:00,537
this huge, uh...
1312
01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:02,339
This huge convention center.
1313
01:04:02,472 --> 01:04:05,342
It goes all the way around.
You people are the lucky ones.
1314
01:04:05,475 --> 01:04:08,078
The eagle is in flight.
King's onstage.
1315
01:04:08,212 --> 01:04:11,181
I got eyeballs on Gil.
We're good to go.
1316
01:04:11,315 --> 01:04:12,816
MATT: Allison, you're up.
1317
01:04:12,950 --> 01:04:15,119
Get Callahan off that door.
1318
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:17,421
What are you doing here
1319
01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:22,492
all by yourself?
1320
01:04:38,108 --> 01:04:39,843
Nothing's working.
1321
01:04:39,977 --> 01:04:41,578
KEITH:
He's gotta
be a terminator.
1322
01:04:41,711 --> 01:04:43,547
MATT: No red-blooded male
can resist that.
1323
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:45,415
BROCK:
He's gay.
1324
01:04:45,549 --> 01:04:49,886
That UFC macho
shithead bullshit
isn't fooling anybody.
1325
01:04:50,020 --> 01:04:51,121
He's gay as a goose.
1326
01:04:51,255 --> 01:04:53,690
Puts the dump in cumdump.
1327
01:04:53,823 --> 01:04:56,293
He's so gay,
he puts an S in turtle.
1328
01:04:56,426 --> 01:05:00,530
Damn light's not working.
Damn this piece of shit.
1329
01:05:00,664 --> 01:05:03,533
I'm above the office.
Get in here.
1330
01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:07,137
KEITH: We should've got Brock
for this.
1331
01:05:07,271 --> 01:05:10,174
I see, I see
a bunch of Xenas here.
1332
01:05:10,307 --> 01:05:12,009
Look, yeah,
there's one up there.
1333
01:05:12,142 --> 01:05:14,344
Ooh, very nice.
You should move down in front.
1334
01:05:14,478 --> 01:05:16,613
Very good.
1335
01:05:16,746 --> 01:05:20,850
Ah, Lucy. Do we love Lucy?
Do we all love Lucy Lawless?
1336
01:05:20,985 --> 01:05:23,187
I met Lucy
many, many years ago.
1337
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,255
Of course, she wasn't
Lucy Lawless then.
1338
01:05:25,389 --> 01:05:28,025
She was Lucy Kiwi...
I don't know.
1339
01:05:28,158 --> 01:05:32,196
This statuesque,
remarkably clear-skinned girl
1340
01:05:32,329 --> 01:05:35,299
comes up and gets her diploma,
and I said, "Who is that?"
1341
01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:38,568
She was, boy, barely 18,
I think, and she was...
1342
01:05:38,702 --> 01:05:41,938
Guys, Gil's starting to move.
MATT: Stall him, Sid.
1343
01:05:42,072 --> 01:05:43,407
How?
The Elvis story.
1344
01:05:43,540 --> 01:05:45,375
Gil, I just wanted
to thank you
1345
01:05:45,509 --> 01:05:47,978
for letting me hang back here
and watch King in action.
1346
01:05:48,112 --> 01:05:49,113
I really appreciate it.
1347
01:05:49,246 --> 01:05:50,880
No problem, Sid, no problem.
1348
01:05:51,015 --> 01:05:52,949
Which, by the way,
speaking of King,
1349
01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:54,684
did I ever tell you
about the time
1350
01:05:54,818 --> 01:05:59,589
that Elvis and I nearly died
in a private plane crash?
1351
01:05:59,723 --> 01:06:01,258
No.
1352
01:06:01,391 --> 01:06:03,593
When the scene was over,
which got a little steamy,
1353
01:06:03,727 --> 01:06:05,062
the director yelled cut,
1354
01:06:05,195 --> 01:06:06,997
she looked down at me,
and she said...
1355
01:06:07,131 --> 01:06:09,266
CROWD: Whoa!
1356
01:06:09,399 --> 01:06:12,669
"Yes! You are the King!"
1357
01:06:12,802 --> 01:06:14,538
Don't stop me
if you've heard this story.
1358
01:06:14,671 --> 01:06:17,841
July 4th of 1971, yeah,
'cause it was right after
1359
01:06:17,974 --> 01:06:20,010
Elvis did his big
comeback special,
1360
01:06:20,144 --> 01:06:22,446
the one with
the black leathers.
1361
01:06:22,579 --> 01:06:24,748
Uh-huh
Anyway, we're on the plane,
1362
01:06:24,881 --> 01:06:27,217
Sonny and Red and me and E,
1363
01:06:27,351 --> 01:06:29,953
and all of a sudden,
on the way back to Memphis,
1364
01:06:30,087 --> 01:06:33,290
the Colonel just brings out
this huge bag of mushrooms.
1365
01:06:33,423 --> 01:06:35,259
What?
I mean, just incredible.
1366
01:06:35,392 --> 01:06:38,262
Don't you think people are
too hard on the new DC movies?
1367
01:06:38,395 --> 01:06:40,864
You know what I really love
about the new Supes?
1368
01:06:40,997 --> 01:06:43,467
What's that?
1369
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:46,470
Red undies on the inside
because, you know...
1370
01:06:46,603 --> 01:06:48,872
Hey, Sid, I gotta go.
Have a good one.
1371
01:06:49,005 --> 01:06:51,007
Sick bastard.
1372
01:06:51,575 --> 01:06:53,243
Douche nozzle.
1373
01:06:53,377 --> 01:06:55,479
Okay, you guys, we lost him.
I can't hold him.
1374
01:06:55,612 --> 01:06:59,015
The walrus
is back in the water.
1375
01:06:59,149 --> 01:07:00,917
KEITH:
Allison, do whatever
you gotta do,
1376
01:07:01,051 --> 01:07:02,352
but do it right now.
1377
01:07:02,486 --> 01:07:03,720
Copy.
1378
01:07:06,056 --> 01:07:07,557
Did you just call me ma'am?
1379
01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:09,893
Do I look like a ma'am
to you, dickhead?
1380
01:07:10,026 --> 01:07:11,228
No, I wasn't trying...
1381
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:12,962
Does this ass look
like a ma'am to you?
1382
01:07:13,097 --> 01:07:14,798
Ma'am, you have to leave.
Oh, you just said it again.
1383
01:07:14,931 --> 01:07:17,634
I don't have to do anything.
What is this, Nazi Germany,
1384
01:07:17,767 --> 01:07:21,405
you goose-stepping, leg-day
skipping Hitler wannabe?
1385
01:07:21,538 --> 01:07:23,340
What?
You heard me, Ferrigno.
1386
01:07:23,473 --> 01:07:25,275
MATT: Oh, yeah.
What?
1387
01:07:25,409 --> 01:07:26,910
You get to tell me what to do
just 'cause I'm a woman?
1388
01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:28,212
You got a dick?
1389
01:07:28,345 --> 01:07:31,481
No, no, no, no,
you jackboot-wearing
1390
01:07:31,615 --> 01:07:34,451
Game of Thrones
Mountain wannabe!
1391
01:07:34,584 --> 01:07:37,987
First of all,
it's Mr. Ferrigno.
1392
01:07:38,122 --> 01:07:40,590
And I ain't no Nazi.
1393
01:07:40,724 --> 01:07:43,493
And I have never missed
a leg day in my life.
1394
01:07:43,627 --> 01:07:45,929
Put me down!
Are you fucking kidding me?
1395
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:47,297
Chicken leg!
1396
01:07:47,431 --> 01:07:49,032
Are you kidding me?
Put me down!
1397
01:07:49,166 --> 01:07:50,567
ANNOUNCER:
Attention, Supercon.
1398
01:07:50,700 --> 01:07:52,536
If anyone found
a red nylon wallet
1399
01:07:52,669 --> 01:07:54,671
during this afternoon's
furry pile,
1400
01:07:54,804 --> 01:07:57,274
please return it
to the Con op's office.
1401
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:01,145
Getting screwed today is me.
1402
01:08:05,715 --> 01:08:06,850
Open, you faggot!
1403
01:08:12,256 --> 01:08:14,558
KEITH: Imagine that. The door
was open the entire time.
1404
01:08:14,691 --> 01:08:16,626
MATT: Let's go, ladies.
Get him up.
1405
01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:18,695
How do you even pick me up
with those chicken legs?
1406
01:08:18,828 --> 01:08:20,997
What, do you just skip
leg day every time?
1407
01:08:21,131 --> 01:08:22,932
Shut up.
1408
01:08:24,501 --> 01:08:26,370
Actually, you know what,
I think we're good.
1409
01:08:26,503 --> 01:08:28,172
You can just put me down here.
Sounds like
a misunderstanding.
1410
01:08:28,305 --> 01:08:30,006
See, I thought...
She is outta here!
1411
01:08:30,140 --> 01:08:32,642
Escort this to its car.
1412
01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:36,012
I'm sorry.
I thought those were
white supremacist tattoos.
1413
01:08:36,146 --> 01:08:37,747
I haven't been to prison.
1414
01:08:37,881 --> 01:08:40,083
I watch too much Lockup.
What do you want from me?
1415
01:08:40,217 --> 01:08:42,419
I have a badge.
It's inside.
1416
01:08:44,188 --> 01:08:45,722
I have to pee.
Can I go pee?
1417
01:08:45,855 --> 01:08:49,193
I'm on my period.
Can I... No?
1418
01:08:50,394 --> 01:08:51,395
You guys wanna wrestle
for this?
1419
01:08:51,528 --> 01:08:53,230
You wanna tussle?
1420
01:08:53,363 --> 01:08:55,565
Who wants to get their
ass kicked by a girl?
Come on.
1421
01:08:56,366 --> 01:08:57,567
Escort this!
1422
01:09:01,671 --> 01:09:03,807
I hope you guys are having
better luck than me.
1423
01:09:03,940 --> 01:09:06,009
Why
I had to improvise.
1424
01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:07,677
Just hurry the fuck up.
1425
01:09:28,565 --> 01:09:31,368
What superhero
could wear fucking heels?
1426
01:09:33,937 --> 01:09:36,706
That's a big door.
1427
01:09:41,345 --> 01:09:43,313
Guys, we got a problem.
1428
01:09:43,447 --> 01:09:47,651
There's a heavy-duty,
fire-rated big-ass
locked door.
1429
01:09:51,355 --> 01:09:52,789
Where the fuck is the money?
1430
01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:54,991
What's wrong?
I don't think I can...
1431
01:09:55,124 --> 01:09:56,226
MATT: You in?
1432
01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:57,761
Come on, we're working here!
1433
01:09:57,894 --> 01:09:59,296
Are you in?
1434
01:09:59,429 --> 01:10:00,864
Convenient.
1435
01:10:01,265 --> 01:10:02,799
I'm in.
1436
01:10:12,242 --> 01:10:14,978
Bringo. Found it. Bag!
1437
01:10:15,111 --> 01:10:17,213
Bag, bag, bag, bag.
1438
01:10:17,847 --> 01:10:18,782
Come on, come on.
1439
01:10:18,915 --> 01:10:21,184
Bag, bag, bag.
1440
01:10:21,318 --> 01:10:25,221
Take it, take it, take it.
1441
01:10:25,355 --> 01:10:27,491
Shit, tell me there's more.
1442
01:10:31,995 --> 01:10:33,597
What the fuck?
1443
01:10:36,099 --> 01:10:37,934
Yeah, fucker, yeah!
1444
01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:40,203
Yeah, you motherfuckers
thought y'all was gonna
come in here
1445
01:10:40,337 --> 01:10:41,738
and get my money, didn't you?
1446
01:10:41,871 --> 01:10:45,542
Put it down.
I will fucking shoot.
1447
01:10:45,675 --> 01:10:48,712
Take the fucking mask off.
What the...
1448
01:10:50,113 --> 01:10:51,681
Aw, hell no.
1449
01:10:54,484 --> 01:10:56,320
MATT: Damn!
1450
01:10:56,453 --> 01:10:58,655
Bitch better have my money.
1451
01:11:03,259 --> 01:11:06,330
Yeah, I told you
I'd be there.
1452
01:11:10,300 --> 01:11:12,101
Whoopsies.
1453
01:11:12,636 --> 01:11:14,471
No, you didn't.
1454
01:11:14,604 --> 01:11:17,106
That's not gonna stop ringing
anytime soon, right?
1455
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:19,943
No, and I made sure it was
fully charged for today.
1456
01:11:20,076 --> 01:11:21,044
Fuck.
1457
01:11:21,177 --> 01:11:22,579
Give me a boost.
1458
01:11:22,712 --> 01:11:24,147
If I turn something down,
1459
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,682
the next guy they go to
is Bruce Willis,
1460
01:11:25,815 --> 01:11:27,517
and Bruce would say,
"Oh, yeah, I'll do it.
1461
01:11:27,651 --> 01:11:30,387
"Did King turn it down?
I'll do it, I'll do it."
1462
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:31,988
Right, well,
it worked out for him.
1463
01:11:32,121 --> 01:11:33,790
It worked out for him fine,
you know,
1464
01:11:33,923 --> 01:11:36,059
because lightning strikes
every now and then.
1465
01:11:36,192 --> 01:11:38,662
All right, enough of this.
Let's bring the girls out.
1466
01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:41,598
It's photo time, huh?
Yeah, good.
1467
01:11:41,731 --> 01:11:45,402
Yeah!
1468
01:11:45,535 --> 01:11:47,904
There we are.
1469
01:11:48,338 --> 01:11:49,573
Yeah.
1470
01:11:52,075 --> 01:11:54,411
All right, everyone,
that's my time.
1471
01:11:54,544 --> 01:11:56,279
Guys, we got a problem.
1472
01:11:56,413 --> 01:11:58,815
The King's wrapping up
his panel.
1473
01:11:59,883 --> 01:12:02,285
Guys, this is gonna
take a few minutes.
1474
01:12:02,419 --> 01:12:05,054
MATT: Do not let him leave.
You gotta stall him, man.
1475
01:12:08,257 --> 01:12:10,894
The future...
Is yours.
1476
01:12:12,562 --> 01:12:14,698
Sid Newberry, everybody.
1477
01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:17,401
What are you doing, old man?
Don't worry, Junior.
1478
01:12:17,534 --> 01:12:19,536
Just approximating
how a real man does it.
1479
01:12:19,669 --> 01:12:22,972
This reminds me of a story
1480
01:12:23,106 --> 01:12:27,377
in, around, I suppose,
the early 1980s.
1481
01:12:27,511 --> 01:12:30,146
I was ghostwriting
a little television film
1482
01:12:30,279 --> 01:12:33,483
in the beautiful city
of Detroit, Michigan.
1483
01:12:36,453 --> 01:12:37,821
ANNOUNCER:
Attention, Supercon,
1484
01:12:37,954 --> 01:12:39,723
now signing
in Autograph Alley,
1485
01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:41,224
William Shatner's brother,
1486
01:12:41,357 --> 01:12:43,026
George Takei's aunt,
1487
01:12:43,159 --> 01:12:44,594
Leonard Nimoy's sister,
1488
01:12:44,728 --> 01:12:46,730
and the great Wil Wheaton.
1489
01:12:48,498 --> 01:12:50,033
Ooh.
1490
01:12:50,166 --> 01:12:51,635
Shit.
1491
01:12:52,035 --> 01:12:53,403
Ugh.
1492
01:12:56,706 --> 01:12:59,008
Fake ass
piece of fucking gun.
1493
01:12:59,142 --> 01:13:01,010
My money.
1494
01:13:01,144 --> 01:13:03,179
Ah, my fucking money!
1495
01:13:03,312 --> 01:13:04,914
Son of a bitch!
1496
01:13:05,048 --> 01:13:07,050
Oh! Fuck!
1497
01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:11,287
Where the fuck was you at?
1498
01:13:11,421 --> 01:13:12,689
I had to throw somebody out.
1499
01:13:12,822 --> 01:13:14,323
Damn! What happened
to your face?
1500
01:13:14,458 --> 01:13:15,792
Don't worry about that.
1501
01:13:15,925 --> 01:13:17,794
Go radio everybody
and lock the doors.
1502
01:13:17,927 --> 01:13:20,497
No purple Guardian,
no yellow, gold Guardian,
1503
01:13:20,630 --> 01:13:21,898
no none of that shit!
1504
01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:27,604
You said this would be open!
1505
01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:30,173
Why isn't it open?
1506
01:13:30,306 --> 01:13:31,875
I'm not going to fucking jail.
1507
01:13:32,976 --> 01:13:36,813
And I'm not getting arrested
in baby blue Spandex, man.
1508
01:13:36,946 --> 01:13:40,283
Hey, hey, hey, let's just
go out the front doors.
1509
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:42,185
Are you fucking nuts?
1510
01:13:42,952 --> 01:13:44,454
Yeah.
1511
01:13:45,855 --> 01:13:48,191
Fucking white people.
1512
01:13:58,502 --> 01:14:01,304
Jesus, what the hell
is that smell?
1513
01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:02,872
I'm too old for this shit.
1514
01:14:03,006 --> 01:14:05,575
I'm some fucking TV star.
1515
01:14:05,709 --> 01:14:08,812
I'm in a fucking pipe
over a Comicon convention.
1516
01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:11,014
Gotta stop doing
so many drugs.
1517
01:14:11,147 --> 01:14:14,283
That's what you get
for dropping acid at
a Bananarama concert.
1518
01:14:20,323 --> 01:14:22,158
Oh, wrong ear.
1519
01:14:22,492 --> 01:14:24,460
Hi, Dad.
1520
01:14:24,594 --> 01:14:27,196
No, I don't know what...
No, soda.
1521
01:14:27,330 --> 01:14:30,934
Soda. That's why it's called
a scotch and soda.
1522
01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:33,937
I gotta call you back.
I'm busy.
1523
01:14:34,370 --> 01:14:36,039
I'm in a tube.
1524
01:14:41,645 --> 01:14:43,513
I think they
come out at night.
1525
01:14:43,647 --> 01:14:45,782
I think they
come out at night.
1526
01:14:50,887 --> 01:14:52,656
ALLISON: Brock, where are you?
1527
01:14:52,789 --> 01:14:54,357
BROCK: Guys, I'm stuck.
I'm lost.
1528
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:55,725
ALLISON: You can't go back
to Gil's office.
1529
01:14:55,859 --> 01:14:56,893
Callahan just got back.
1530
01:14:57,026 --> 01:14:58,294
Just stay where you are.
1531
01:14:58,427 --> 01:14:59,395
We'll come get you.
1532
01:14:59,529 --> 01:15:00,597
BROCK: Oh, that smell.
1533
01:15:00,730 --> 01:15:01,998
Would you please shut up?
1534
01:15:02,131 --> 01:15:04,167
Man's trying to
take a shit here!
1535
01:15:04,300 --> 01:15:05,569
BROCK: Those tits are huge!
1536
01:15:05,702 --> 01:15:07,070
I have no idea where I am.
1537
01:15:07,203 --> 01:15:08,805
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna head up.
1538
01:15:08,938 --> 01:15:11,608
This cannot be
this fucking hard.
1539
01:15:11,741 --> 01:15:13,242
No.
1540
01:15:13,376 --> 01:15:14,644
Jesus Chri...
1541
01:15:17,213 --> 01:15:19,448
BROCK: It's like
beef and broccoli.
1542
01:15:19,583 --> 01:15:20,784
It's like...
Oh, my God.
1543
01:15:20,917 --> 01:15:22,218
All right,
I'll give you that one.
1544
01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:23,920
That one was bad.
1545
01:15:25,088 --> 01:15:27,056
Listen, stop it!
Just get me out.
1546
01:15:27,190 --> 01:15:29,492
Mister, get me out!
1547
01:15:31,227 --> 01:15:33,062
Shouldn't have
had that hot dog.
1548
01:15:33,196 --> 01:15:35,264
It's like making out
with David Lee Roth.
1549
01:15:35,398 --> 01:15:38,034
I will come up there,
so help me to God!
1550
01:15:38,167 --> 01:15:41,070
I'm gonna come up there!
1551
01:15:41,204 --> 01:15:43,206
What the fuck is wrong
with people?
1552
01:15:43,339 --> 01:15:44,373
BROCK: Get me out of here.
1553
01:15:44,507 --> 01:15:46,475
Somebody get me out of here.
1554
01:15:49,478 --> 01:15:50,680
Ahh!
1555
01:15:50,814 --> 01:15:53,016
Oh, my God,
kung pao chicken.
1556
01:15:53,449 --> 01:15:54,684
Fine!
1557
01:15:54,818 --> 01:15:56,152
You win, asshole!
1558
01:15:56,285 --> 01:15:57,520
You win.
1559
01:15:57,654 --> 01:15:59,555
Oh, my God, it's so gross.
1560
01:15:59,689 --> 01:16:01,424
Oh, my God, it's so gross.
1561
01:16:01,557 --> 01:16:03,226
I'ma leave you a little gift.
1562
01:16:03,359 --> 01:16:05,762
I'm not wiping, so fuck you.
1563
01:16:05,895 --> 01:16:07,196
He's not even wiping!
1564
01:16:07,330 --> 01:16:08,965
Guys, you gotta
get me out of here.
1565
01:16:11,467 --> 01:16:12,869
Asshole.
1566
01:16:13,002 --> 01:16:16,539
What the hell was that?
1567
01:16:16,673 --> 01:16:19,008
Allison?
Allison, get me out of here.
1568
01:16:19,142 --> 01:16:20,744
What the hell?
Oh, my God.
1569
01:16:20,877 --> 01:16:23,346
Gotta get me outta here.
Get me outta here!
1570
01:16:32,221 --> 01:16:34,991
Brock, whatever's
going on with you,
you gotta suck it up...
1571
01:16:35,124 --> 01:16:37,193
MATT: Please tell me you
killed those hard drives.
1572
01:16:37,326 --> 01:16:40,664
You know what?
You think it's so fucking...
1573
01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:43,332
Bringo.
1574
01:16:53,476 --> 01:16:55,344
The drives are dead.
KEITH: We're stuck.
1575
01:16:55,478 --> 01:16:57,380
Get out. We got a fire alarm
that could go off any minute.
1576
01:16:57,513 --> 01:16:58,915
ANNOUNCER:
Tonight's screening
of Chum 3-D
1577
01:16:59,048 --> 01:17:00,684
is brought to you by Flotex.
Sid!
1578
01:17:00,817 --> 01:17:02,118
If you're bleeding,
you're leaving.
1579
01:17:02,251 --> 01:17:04,053
You're gonna be
at the nursing home
1580
01:17:04,187 --> 01:17:05,989
giving out $20 ass-licks
up there with them old ladies.
1581
01:17:06,122 --> 01:17:10,226
Yeah! All because you didn't
wanna do your fucking job.
1582
01:17:12,328 --> 01:17:13,697
Fuckin'...
1583
01:17:13,830 --> 01:17:16,232
Ah! Shit!
1584
01:17:16,365 --> 01:17:18,868
Come on, let's go.
Let's get the fuck outta here.
1585
01:17:22,205 --> 01:17:24,540
You hijacked my panel,
Grandpa.
1586
01:17:24,674 --> 01:17:27,076
I've killed men for less.
1587
01:17:27,210 --> 01:17:31,180
Don't you ever get tired
of the hacky macho act?
1588
01:17:31,314 --> 01:17:33,349
Don't you turn
your back on me,
you old hack.
1589
01:17:33,482 --> 01:17:35,551
You know, you come
to these conventions
1590
01:17:35,685 --> 01:17:36,920
what, just about every week,
1591
01:17:37,053 --> 01:17:38,888
tell the same old
tired stories,
1592
01:17:39,022 --> 01:17:40,523
fleece these kids
for all their worth.
1593
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,692
On a certain level,
I think that's totally fine.
1594
01:17:42,826 --> 01:17:44,493
You get what you want,
and that's great,
1595
01:17:44,627 --> 01:17:46,830
and I guess they get
what you think they want.
1596
01:17:46,963 --> 01:17:50,366
And I understand
you are at the top
of Convention Mountain,
1597
01:17:50,499 --> 01:17:53,002
But I gotta tell you, it's not
always gonna be that way.
1598
01:17:53,136 --> 01:17:57,340
What you thought
the fans wanted
wasn't what they wanted.
1599
01:17:57,473 --> 01:17:59,208
What they wanted
was a connection.
1600
01:17:59,342 --> 01:18:01,677
And you never had
a connection
1601
01:18:01,811 --> 01:18:05,281
with any of the people
that you've spent all
this time with.
1602
01:18:05,414 --> 01:18:09,118
You can't even open your eyes
to the enjoyment
1603
01:18:09,252 --> 01:18:11,654
that your talent gave
to your fans.
1604
01:18:11,788 --> 01:18:13,656
So my prediction for you
1605
01:18:13,790 --> 01:18:16,559
is unpleasantness
in the days to come.
1606
01:18:16,692 --> 01:18:21,230
My prediction for you is not
much force in your future.
1607
01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:25,869
Now, do you think I am
fucking lying to you?
1608
01:18:26,002 --> 01:18:28,972
Do you think I am
fucking with you?
1609
01:18:29,105 --> 01:18:33,009
'Cause I'll tell you,
I am not fucking with you.
1610
01:18:36,913 --> 01:18:39,182
Adam, we need to talk, man.
1611
01:18:39,315 --> 01:18:41,751
No, listen, it's all right.
I was just busting his balls.
1612
01:18:41,885 --> 01:18:43,086
Oh, God!
1613
01:18:45,154 --> 01:18:47,690
Damn! What was that all about?
1614
01:18:47,824 --> 01:18:51,194
It's okay. What...
What's the issue?
1615
01:18:51,327 --> 01:18:54,097
Son of a bitch!
1616
01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:57,100
What'd they look like?
Fuckin' Future Gold.
1617
01:18:57,233 --> 01:18:58,802
One of 'em's gold,
one of 'em's purple.
1618
01:18:58,935 --> 01:19:00,303
I know what
the Future Fucks look like.
1619
01:19:00,436 --> 01:19:02,338
Grab the intern,
get my money.
Copy that.
1620
01:19:02,471 --> 01:19:04,440
I didn't spend a whole weekend
shaking hands
1621
01:19:04,573 --> 01:19:06,309
and signing shit
for these assholes for free.
1622
01:19:06,442 --> 01:19:08,311
I'll take it out
of your hide.
Out of my...
1623
01:19:08,444 --> 01:19:10,046
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
We regret to inform you
1624
01:19:10,179 --> 01:19:12,215
that Supercon
is officially over.
1625
01:19:12,348 --> 01:19:13,983
We are closing the doors.
1626
01:19:14,117 --> 01:19:15,251
Who the fuck gave them
authority to do that?
1627
01:19:15,384 --> 01:19:17,120
Shut up, shut up.
1628
01:19:17,253 --> 01:19:19,122
Somebody on your
team has their head
out of their ass.
1629
01:19:19,255 --> 01:19:22,291
That means there's only one
way out for these pricks now.
1630
01:19:22,425 --> 01:19:24,928
Close all the doors.
No exceptions! None!
1631
01:19:25,061 --> 01:19:27,263
Come on.
No exceptions.
1632
01:19:39,843 --> 01:19:41,344
Get outta my way!
1633
01:19:41,477 --> 01:19:43,379
VIP coming through!
GIRL: Hey!
1634
01:19:46,482 --> 01:19:48,084
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
We regret to inform you
1635
01:19:48,217 --> 01:19:50,553
that Supercon
is officially over.
1636
01:19:50,686 --> 01:19:52,021
We are closing the doors.
1637
01:19:52,155 --> 01:19:54,323
Please make your way
to the main exit
1638
01:19:54,457 --> 01:19:56,926
at the front
of the convention center.
1639
01:20:04,600 --> 01:20:06,202
My turn, asshole!
1640
01:20:08,504 --> 01:20:09,505
Nut check.
1641
01:20:22,551 --> 01:20:25,154
Go, go, go! I got this.
1642
01:20:25,288 --> 01:20:27,023
Fuck that.
I'm not leaving without you.
1643
01:20:27,156 --> 01:20:28,557
I will find you. Go, go.
1644
01:20:28,691 --> 01:20:32,061
No. I'll never be the same
without you.
1645
01:20:40,703 --> 01:20:42,838
My God.
1646
01:20:43,639 --> 01:20:45,174
Who's there?
1647
01:20:45,308 --> 01:20:48,611
Help me! Somebody there?
Somebody give me a towel.
1648
01:20:48,744 --> 01:20:50,246
A wet wipe?
1649
01:20:51,180 --> 01:20:52,515
Maybe a napkin?
1650
01:20:52,648 --> 01:20:54,850
Somebody
1651
01:20:54,984 --> 01:20:56,920
Oh, my God.
1652
01:20:57,053 --> 01:20:59,022
It's in my mouth.
1653
01:20:59,923 --> 01:21:01,424
Oh, my God, who's there?
1654
01:21:01,557 --> 01:21:03,159
Help me!
1655
01:21:03,559 --> 01:21:05,294
Help me!
1656
01:21:06,495 --> 01:21:11,234
When I say "scat,"
I mean get away.
1657
01:21:14,070 --> 01:21:15,504
Who's there
1658
01:21:15,638 --> 01:21:17,406
Oh, my God.
1659
01:21:18,107 --> 01:21:20,009
I want my mother.
1660
01:21:24,948 --> 01:21:27,850
SID: Allison, don't worry
about Brock. I got him.
1661
01:21:27,984 --> 01:21:30,954
Gather our stuff and let's
get the hell outta Dodge.
1662
01:21:31,087 --> 01:21:32,555
Thanks, Sid, you're the best.
1663
01:21:52,208 --> 01:21:54,543
Hey, you...
1664
01:22:22,605 --> 01:22:24,107
Okay.
1665
01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:25,741
Hey, I got a question.
Where'd you get that suit?
1666
01:22:25,874 --> 01:22:27,443
My son loves this show.
He thinks it's awesome.
1667
01:22:27,576 --> 01:22:29,412
You see Adam King?
That guy was dynamite.
1668
01:22:29,545 --> 01:22:31,914
LARPing, right?
We were just
talking about this.
1669
01:22:32,048 --> 01:22:33,916
It's incredible. Just smile.
1670
01:22:34,050 --> 01:22:35,951
Last picture this guy
will ever have with
a full set of teeth.
1671
01:22:36,085 --> 01:22:38,321
All right, hold on, tough guy.
We'll get to you in a minute.
1672
01:22:39,422 --> 01:22:41,424
All right, okay, all right.
1673
01:22:41,557 --> 01:22:44,127
Uh, you know
where the hentai room is?
1674
01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:45,628
The wife, she's into all that.
1675
01:22:47,230 --> 01:22:48,531
Oh, sorry for interrupting.
I'm sorry.
1676
01:22:48,664 --> 01:22:51,334
Get back to your stupid...
Let's go.
1677
01:22:56,505 --> 01:22:59,008
You are not gonna believe
1678
01:22:59,142 --> 01:23:01,210
how shitty the camera
on my phone is,
1679
01:23:01,344 --> 01:23:04,047
'cause this was totally
so blurry.
1680
01:23:04,180 --> 01:23:06,749
One more, one more.
1681
01:23:06,882 --> 01:23:08,417
All right, get in there.
1682
01:23:08,551 --> 01:23:09,318
Hentai!
1683
01:23:09,452 --> 01:23:11,520
Fantastic.
1684
01:23:11,654 --> 01:23:14,823
Hey, what do you got
that big sword for, big guy?
1685
01:23:14,957 --> 01:23:16,392
Pick on this little guy?
1686
01:23:16,525 --> 01:23:17,660
You're gonna kick his ass
anyway. Who cares?
1687
01:23:17,793 --> 01:23:18,827
Just drop the sword.
1688
01:23:18,961 --> 01:23:20,829
Come on!
1689
01:23:20,963 --> 01:23:23,032
Nice. Thank you.
1690
01:23:23,166 --> 01:23:25,334
He is gonna kill you.
Let's go.
1691
01:23:25,468 --> 01:23:27,470
Thank you very much,
gentlemen.
1692
01:23:38,481 --> 01:23:41,084
Come with me
if you want to live.
1693
01:23:42,685 --> 01:23:43,619
Nice.
1694
01:23:43,752 --> 01:23:45,254
Go, go, go!
1695
01:23:45,388 --> 01:23:47,790
I got a bad feeling
about this.
1696
01:23:47,923 --> 01:23:49,125
Yeah!
1697
01:23:50,593 --> 01:23:53,096
King! Love the weave!
1698
01:23:53,229 --> 01:23:56,099
Like this?
1699
01:23:56,232 --> 01:23:57,766
Oh, shit!
1700
01:23:57,900 --> 01:23:59,835
Keith! Keith!
1701
01:23:59,968 --> 01:24:01,170
I'm okay.
1702
01:24:01,770 --> 01:24:03,139
You're an idiot.
1703
01:24:03,272 --> 01:24:05,174
Hey! Watch where you're going,
assholes!
1704
01:24:05,308 --> 01:24:06,442
Yeah, he can't drive, man.
1705
01:24:06,575 --> 01:24:08,611
Boys, don't forget
your backpacks.
1706
01:24:09,745 --> 01:24:11,347
Thanks, Ms. Lily.
1707
01:24:16,185 --> 01:24:18,454
Holy shit, you're Adam King.
Can I get your autograph?
1708
01:24:18,587 --> 01:24:21,224
Where are those
sons of bitches?
1709
01:24:21,357 --> 01:24:23,892
There. There they are.
Come on.
1710
01:24:24,026 --> 01:24:25,328
GIL: They're getting away!
1711
01:24:25,461 --> 01:24:27,029
Not before I kill 'em.
Bitches, move.
1712
01:24:27,163 --> 01:24:29,232
Get in there.
I can't drive no car.
1713
01:24:29,365 --> 01:24:31,767
Shut up! Get in there!
The fuck is this, man?
1714
01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:35,904
I can't even drive a stick.
1715
01:24:36,038 --> 01:24:37,473
Go!
1716
01:24:42,345 --> 01:24:44,747
Come on!
Hey, what the fuck you doin'?
1717
01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,249
Hey!
Come on, Gil.
1718
01:24:46,382 --> 01:24:49,518
You gonna kill us.
Drive, you son of a...
1719
01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:51,287
You see what he
did to my hair?
1720
01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:53,256
Your hair was
already fucked up.
1721
01:24:53,389 --> 01:24:55,458
They put their hands on me.
1722
01:24:58,694 --> 01:25:02,064
Go! What's the
matter with you?
You crazy?
1723
01:25:02,198 --> 01:25:04,267
There they are.
1724
01:25:04,400 --> 01:25:06,202
I got 'em.
I got their ass.
1725
01:25:06,335 --> 01:25:07,970
Come on, man, accelerate!
1726
01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:09,705
What the... Hey!
1727
01:25:09,838 --> 01:25:10,773
Yeah, right here.
1728
01:25:10,906 --> 01:25:12,808
Help!
Yeah!
1729
01:25:12,941 --> 01:25:14,343
Help!
1730
01:25:15,244 --> 01:25:17,246
Okay, okay, okay, slow down.
1731
01:25:17,380 --> 01:25:19,615
It not working.
It not working!
1732
01:25:22,318 --> 01:25:24,353
What the fuck?
1733
01:25:24,487 --> 01:25:26,989
Oh! Get me outta this shit!
1734
01:25:27,122 --> 01:25:28,957
You call the police.
1735
01:25:29,091 --> 01:25:30,193
No! I'm getting the fuck
outta here!
1736
01:25:30,326 --> 01:25:32,161
Smartphone?
1737
01:25:32,295 --> 01:25:35,664
TMZ would pay a fortune, no?
1738
01:25:35,798 --> 01:25:37,800
ADAM: I'm gonna kill
these guys!
1739
01:25:40,035 --> 01:25:41,504
Gimme that shit.
1740
01:25:41,637 --> 01:25:43,672
Where's the fucking
money at, man?
1741
01:25:46,742 --> 01:25:49,578
GIL: Where's the shit?
ADAM: Where's my money?
1742
01:25:49,712 --> 01:25:51,314
Where the fuck is the money?
I don't know.
1743
01:25:51,447 --> 01:25:53,115
Just play it cool, Keith.
1744
01:25:53,249 --> 01:25:54,783
Hey, hey, shit!
Where's my money?
1745
01:25:54,917 --> 01:25:55,984
What money?
1746
01:25:56,118 --> 01:25:57,553
My money, you...
1747
01:25:57,686 --> 01:26:00,356
Went all weekend
collecting this stuff, man.
1748
01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:02,157
Why were you guys
running then, huh?
1749
01:26:02,291 --> 01:26:03,659
'Cause you two fucks
fired us.
1750
01:26:03,792 --> 01:26:05,594
Adam.
Just shut the fuck up, Gil.
1751
01:26:05,728 --> 01:26:08,731
Look, I know you two
stole my money.
1752
01:26:08,864 --> 01:26:10,866
You think I'd come here
on the weekends
1753
01:26:10,999 --> 01:26:14,770
and sign stuff for
these sweaty bastards
because I want to?
1754
01:26:14,903 --> 01:26:18,374
Because I crave their
attention? Because I want
their approval?
1755
01:26:18,507 --> 01:26:21,009
No. I'm Adam Fucking King.
1756
01:26:21,143 --> 01:26:23,779
That shit is Sid's job
with his little
fucking bow tie
1757
01:26:23,912 --> 01:26:25,914
and his suspenders
and his shitty toupee.
1758
01:26:26,048 --> 01:26:28,617
I'm Adam King!
Where's my fucking money?
1759
01:26:28,751 --> 01:26:30,319
You think there's room
in these outfits
1760
01:26:30,453 --> 01:26:32,355
for your greedy money,
you shithead?
1761
01:26:32,488 --> 01:26:34,490
Well, let's find out.
Hey, whoa!
1762
01:26:34,623 --> 01:26:35,791
Here, Mr. King, here.
That should cover them.
1763
01:26:35,924 --> 01:26:36,992
What is this?
1764
01:26:37,125 --> 01:26:38,461
It's for a photo op with you.
1765
01:26:38,594 --> 01:26:39,895
I'm sure these guys
meant to pay you,
1766
01:26:40,028 --> 01:26:41,530
but that's all I have left.
1767
01:26:41,664 --> 01:26:43,332
Your prices were a little
outrageous this year,
1768
01:26:43,466 --> 01:26:45,234
if I do say so myself.
Are you kidding me?
1769
01:26:45,368 --> 01:26:48,771
I'm talking hundreds
of thousands of dollars
they stole.
1770
01:26:48,904 --> 01:26:50,205
Hundreds of thousands.
1771
01:26:50,339 --> 01:26:51,640
I don't have it, man.
1772
01:26:51,774 --> 01:26:53,776
Make sure you all
get my good side.
1773
01:26:53,909 --> 01:26:56,412
God knows you morons
don't have one.
1774
01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:59,282
Let's get the fuck outta here.
Look at yourselves!
1775
01:26:59,415 --> 01:27:02,785
Painted faces,
rhinestones everywhere.
1776
01:27:02,918 --> 01:27:04,853
Stupid costumes! God!
1777
01:27:04,987 --> 01:27:07,890
I got it all,
and that's the way
it's gonna stay.
1778
01:27:08,023 --> 01:27:11,159
I see any of this on
the Internet,
I'll sue you all!
1779
01:27:11,294 --> 01:27:12,828
I'm Adam Fucking King!
1780
01:27:13,262 --> 01:27:15,230
Future Force!
1781
01:27:16,031 --> 01:27:16,999
Shazam.
1782
01:27:17,132 --> 01:27:18,501
Yeah.
Hey.
1783
01:27:18,634 --> 01:27:20,803
Oh, wow,
a Future Force helmet.
1784
01:27:20,936 --> 01:27:22,271
This is for me?
1785
01:27:22,405 --> 01:27:23,939
The future is yours.
1786
01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:25,774
Cool.
1787
01:27:26,709 --> 01:27:29,278
Hey, aren't you
the ball cancer kid?
1788
01:27:29,912 --> 01:27:31,847
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
1789
01:27:31,980 --> 01:27:33,382
Nice.
1790
01:27:35,651 --> 01:27:37,686
Oh, so sweaty inside.
1791
01:27:37,820 --> 01:27:40,956
Ugh! And it stinks!
1792
01:27:41,089 --> 01:27:43,526
Ugh! Like ball cancer.
1793
01:27:45,694 --> 01:27:47,830
Don't even ask.
The money's gone.
1794
01:27:47,963 --> 01:27:49,365
Oh, my God, Brock.
1795
01:27:49,498 --> 01:27:52,301
Not another word, Matt.
Not another word.
1796
01:28:02,311 --> 01:28:06,449
You guys didn't think you'd
get away that easy, did you?
1797
01:28:11,019 --> 01:28:12,254
MATT: No way.
1798
01:28:12,388 --> 01:28:13,589
Ms. Lily?
1799
01:28:13,722 --> 01:28:16,158
I gotta hand it to you guys.
1800
01:28:16,291 --> 01:28:18,060
You sure made
this Fourth of July fun,
1801
01:28:18,193 --> 01:28:21,364
even if I did have
to dig Brock
out of the bathroom.
1802
01:28:21,497 --> 01:28:22,898
That was you?
1803
01:28:27,970 --> 01:28:29,438
Don't worry.
That's all yours.
1804
01:28:29,572 --> 01:28:31,640
I already took my share.
What?
1805
01:28:31,774 --> 01:28:34,510
Well, I put a little extra
in there for Keith.
1806
01:28:34,643 --> 01:28:36,845
If I hadn't drawn
that big cock on King's car,
1807
01:28:36,979 --> 01:28:38,614
Gil probably wouldn't
have fired you.
1808
01:28:38,747 --> 01:28:40,416
I felt just a tad bit
responsible.
1809
01:28:40,549 --> 01:28:42,518
Yeah, but how did you...
1810
01:28:44,887 --> 01:28:46,422
Duh.
1811
01:28:47,289 --> 01:28:49,224
You mean J.K. Rowling?
1812
01:28:49,358 --> 01:28:50,793
Thanks, Dumbledore.
1813
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:04,239
We regret to inform you that
Supercon is officially over.
1814
01:29:05,874 --> 01:29:09,612
Help me!
Thank you, Ms. Lily.
1815
01:29:09,745 --> 01:29:11,279
I did that Dragoncon job
1816
01:29:11,414 --> 01:29:13,682
because who's gonna
put Ms. Lily,
1817
01:29:13,816 --> 01:29:16,452
loved, adored, respected,
children's show host
1818
01:29:16,585 --> 01:29:18,220
behind bars?
1819
01:29:18,353 --> 01:29:21,323
Besides, it's a hell of a rush
being more bad than good.
1820
01:29:21,457 --> 01:29:23,659
Right now
we gotta get outta here.
1821
01:29:24,192 --> 01:29:25,861
And, sweetie...
1822
01:29:25,994 --> 01:29:29,297
My couch pulls out,
but you don't have to.
1823
01:29:29,432 --> 01:29:30,733
MATT: Oh, snap.
1824
01:29:32,067 --> 01:29:34,002
Well done, lady.
1825
01:29:34,570 --> 01:29:36,939
You guys did amazing.
1826
01:29:38,140 --> 01:29:39,475
Yeah, her too.
1827
01:29:40,342 --> 01:29:42,845
Oh, oh, my God.
1828
01:29:42,978 --> 01:29:44,580
Not one word.
1829
01:29:46,549 --> 01:29:47,883
I was number four!
1830
01:29:48,016 --> 01:29:51,820
Number four sexiest man
in the world, 1982.
1831
01:29:51,954 --> 01:29:54,122
You know what?
Fuck the fans.
1832
01:29:54,256 --> 01:29:57,760
I'm done with all you fucking
hairless fanboys.
1833
01:29:57,893 --> 01:29:59,862
I think you got it backwards.
1834
01:30:00,629 --> 01:30:02,164
We're done with you!
1835
01:30:02,297 --> 01:30:06,134
Oh, the mouth-breather speaks.
What'd you say?
1836
01:30:06,268 --> 01:30:08,437
Yeah, fuck you, Adam King!
1837
01:30:08,571 --> 01:30:10,639
Yeah, you supposed to be
treating the fans
1838
01:30:10,773 --> 01:30:12,508
with love and loyalty,
1839
01:30:12,641 --> 01:30:14,142
and you treat the fans
like that?
1840
01:30:14,276 --> 01:30:17,279
Fuck you! Supercon
don't want your ass either!
1841
01:30:17,412 --> 01:30:20,816
Supercon's done with
your old KFC-looking ass.
1842
01:30:20,949 --> 01:30:22,685
You would never
try to screw anyone
1843
01:30:22,818 --> 01:30:25,120
out of their
hard-earned money,
1844
01:30:25,253 --> 01:30:26,822
would you, Gil?
1845
01:30:27,322 --> 01:30:29,525
Douche nozzle!
1846
01:30:29,658 --> 01:30:31,093
Little motherfucker.
1847
01:30:31,226 --> 01:30:33,996
Are you all getting
good shots for free?
1848
01:30:34,129 --> 01:30:35,498
This should cost you.
1849
01:30:35,631 --> 01:30:38,000
Geez, you all are pathetic.
Look at you.
1850
01:30:39,602 --> 01:30:42,170
What are you laughing about?
1851
01:30:42,304 --> 01:30:43,739
What, you think this is funny?
1852
01:30:43,872 --> 01:30:45,574
What is the matter
with you people?
1853
01:30:45,708 --> 01:30:47,643
Liberace, you know him?
1854
01:30:47,776 --> 01:30:49,945
He hit on me four times.
1855
01:30:50,078 --> 01:30:52,347
What has happened
to this country?
1856
01:30:52,481 --> 01:30:53,716
You wanna be me.
1857
01:30:53,849 --> 01:30:55,651
All you women
wanna be with me.
1858
01:30:55,784 --> 01:30:58,921
You see, I have something
you all don't have.
1859
01:30:59,054 --> 01:31:01,456
You know what it is?
Power!
1860
01:31:01,590 --> 01:31:04,527
I'm the power of a celebrity,
and you...
1861
01:31:14,703 --> 01:31:18,006
Rule number one...
Don't fuck with the fans.
1862
01:31:19,775 --> 01:31:23,045
Told you that car
was a piece of shit.
1863
01:31:23,178 --> 01:31:24,613
Don't mess with me!
1864
01:31:24,747 --> 01:31:26,949
Don't mess with the King.
1865
01:31:31,887 --> 01:31:35,023
Hey, NerdGasm! Rob, Sean.
1866
01:31:35,157 --> 01:31:36,792
We just got back from
Supercon, and holy shit,
1867
01:31:36,925 --> 01:31:39,528
Adam King lost his mind!
1868
01:31:41,697 --> 01:31:43,198
Social retards.
1869
01:31:43,331 --> 01:31:46,969
You're 180 degrees
of pathetic copycats.
1870
01:31:47,102 --> 01:31:50,739
While you all are beating off
in your grandparents' garage,
1871
01:31:50,873 --> 01:31:52,240
I'm gonna be banging
a supermodel.
1872
01:31:52,374 --> 01:31:54,176
What do you
think of that, huh?
1873
01:31:54,309 --> 01:31:56,144
Sean can't even get
his fucking helmet off.
1874
01:31:56,278 --> 01:31:59,247
My whole world is blowing.
It's going like this.
1875
01:32:01,684 --> 01:32:03,351
What do you know?
J.J. Abrams?
1876
01:32:03,485 --> 01:32:05,921
He sent me the script
for Lost, right?
1877
01:32:06,054 --> 01:32:08,423
What a stupid name.
Then I fired his ass.
1878
01:32:08,557 --> 01:32:11,760
We don't know
what's happening.
Like shit is crazy.
1879
01:32:11,894 --> 01:32:13,796
We got fucking kids
stealing shit.
1880
01:32:13,929 --> 01:32:16,231
Everybody, steal some shit.
He doesn't have cameras here.
1881
01:32:16,364 --> 01:32:18,533
Come down to Lickety Split
and steal some shit.
1882
01:32:18,667 --> 01:32:20,603
You know Joss Whedon?
1883
01:32:20,736 --> 01:32:22,738
Joss?
SEAN: Yeah, we know Joss.
1884
01:32:22,871 --> 01:32:25,173
I'm the guy that told him
to drop the H,
1885
01:32:25,307 --> 01:32:27,075
so he would stand out.
1886
01:32:27,209 --> 01:32:30,078
Joss Whedon owes me
his entire career.
1887
01:32:30,212 --> 01:32:31,780
ROBERT: That was actually
a pretty good suggestion.
1888
01:32:31,914 --> 01:32:33,716
Yeah, it was, wasn't it?
1889
01:32:33,849 --> 01:32:35,483
What are you,
the sweatiest man
in the world?
1890
01:32:35,618 --> 01:32:36,919
What's up, YouTube?
1891
01:32:37,052 --> 01:32:38,854
Adam King
at the end of Supercon.
1892
01:32:38,987 --> 01:32:42,891
He makes Mel Gibson look like
a freaking pre-school teacher.
1893
01:32:44,492 --> 01:32:47,062
Carrie Fisher and I
got to second base.
1894
01:32:47,195 --> 01:32:50,198
I was drunk.
You know who she is,
don't you?
1895
01:32:50,332 --> 01:32:51,566
Duh!
1896
01:32:52,768 --> 01:32:54,302
Adam King is fucked.
1897
01:32:54,436 --> 01:32:56,338
He just stepped into
a big vat of shit.
1898
01:32:56,471 --> 01:32:57,740
Supercon is done.
1899
01:32:57,873 --> 01:33:00,408
The future is fucked. Forced.
1900
01:33:01,910 --> 01:33:04,212
You think that
David O. Russell
shit was something?
1901
01:33:04,346 --> 01:33:05,681
Wait till you see this.
1902
01:33:05,814 --> 01:33:07,716
We are going to sell
this shit to TMZ,
1903
01:33:07,850 --> 01:33:09,351
and we're going to be rich!
1904
01:33:09,484 --> 01:33:10,719
I cannot wait for it.
1905
01:33:16,391 --> 01:33:18,560
Warren Beatty is my wingman.
1906
01:33:18,694 --> 01:33:20,362
Hasselhoff's a pussy.
1907
01:33:20,495 --> 01:33:23,766
I got it all, and that's
the way it's gonna stay.
1908
01:33:24,399 --> 01:33:26,001
Fuck the fans.
1909
01:33:37,980 --> 01:33:40,783
** Passion hides
1910
01:33:42,150 --> 01:33:44,987
** In painted smiles
1911
01:33:46,655 --> 01:33:50,425
** Tropical liaisons
1912
01:33:50,558 --> 01:33:52,795
** Wet and wild
1913
01:33:54,529 --> 01:33:56,398
** Mingle and chime
1914
01:33:56,531 --> 01:33:58,633
** The latter climb
1915
01:33:58,767 --> 01:34:01,003
** For glamour and for glow
1916
01:34:02,537 --> 01:34:07,442
** The jet set meets
the maritime
1917
01:34:07,575 --> 01:34:09,678
Hey, watch it!
1918
01:34:14,016 --> 01:34:15,751
You're Lizzie Fisher?
1919
01:34:15,884 --> 01:34:17,853
I love your movies so much.
1920
01:34:17,986 --> 01:34:20,622
Can I have your autograph?
1921
01:34:20,756 --> 01:34:22,791
Princesses don't
work for free, kid.
1922
01:34:22,925 --> 01:34:24,226
Let's go.
1923
01:34:24,359 --> 01:34:26,328
** And your will is dying **
1924
01:34:26,461 --> 01:34:27,796
Let's go get you drunk.
1925
01:34:27,930 --> 01:34:29,064
I knew there was a reason
I liked you.
1926
01:34:30,565 --> 01:34:31,867
Twat.
1927
01:39:45,313 --> 01:39:47,715
MS. LILY:
Supercon is officially over.
131650
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