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In the not so distant future
the world is at war once again.
2
00:00:35,780 --> 00:00:39,380
Nuclear war has destroyed
most of our beloved Earth.
3
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:43,960
Those who survived, still fight a
deplorable battle between good and evil...
4
00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:47,240
A battle of world power for some...
5
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:51,716
But for our boys back at home
in the good ol' U S of A...
6
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:54,700
It's a battle for freedom.
7
00:01:26,060 --> 00:01:30,920
The Soviets have created a new
unstoppable force in weaponry.
8
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,400
Oh!
9
00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:45,000
Dilbert.
10
00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:53,146
Meddling in unnatural experiments with
animal and human DNA they created a
11
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:56,840
super soldier half man half shark
12
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:01,620
Dilbert... It's alive, it's alive!
13
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,833
A creature that fights like a man.
14
00:02:13,845 --> 00:02:15,856
But strikes fear into
the hearts of all that
15
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:20,780
see him with his fierce jagged
and soulless beady eyes.
16
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,686
We will not stand idly by while
17
00:02:43,698 --> 00:02:47,196
these monsters destroyed
our beloved country.
18
00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:53,620
They may have brought the fight to
our soil but this is where it ends.
19
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,800
This is where we make our stand.
20
00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:02,020
They will be met with fire and fury
like the world has never seen.
21
00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:18,476
After the death of our
leaders in Washington.
22
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,916
The states were split
into separate militias.
23
00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:24,000
Each county found leaders in
civilians that were ready to die
24
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,480
to protect their beloved
country against the red enemy.
25
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:33,296
The most notable and beloved leader
of Free New York was Buck Morgan.
26
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,556
An All American Hero.
27
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:40,000
Buck was a gun enthusiast who owned a
military surplus store in Western New York.
28
00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:42,376
When the bombs fell.
29
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:46,540
He supplied his county with the means
to defend themselves against tyranny.
30
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,740
But he didn't stop there.
31
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,560
Charge!
32
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,196
Buck spread his militia all
across Free New York.
33
00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:01,940
Taking back what was
ours in the name of freedom.
34
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,576
Buck Morgan restored hope in
our country's future
35
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,936
and paved the way
for many followers to lead
36
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,316
America towards victory.
37
00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:14,096
Until one fateful day
where he came face to face
38
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,781
with his most powerful
adversary the
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00:04:16,793 --> 00:04:20,060
abomination created
by the sadistic Red Army.
40
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,296
The unsightly beast of a
thousand nightmares.
41
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,700
The terror of unfathomable evil...
42
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:30,080
The Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark.
43
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:53,700
You puny Americans are no match
for the great Soviet Army.
44
00:05:53,820 --> 00:06:00,296
Today I may fall but never underestimate
the strength of the American people.
45
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,480
We will rise from all of this.
46
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:21,700
A great American hero dies but
the fight is far from over.
47
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,260
So how's it coming Marty?
48
00:06:49,380 --> 00:06:51,884
If I keep at it,
get a new head gasket,
49
00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:54,800
flywheel clutch,
she'll be running in no time.
50
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,580
So you're saying it's trash
51
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,060
Yeah, Cliff. This junker
is never gonna run again.
52
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,976
Can I get you boys a beer?
53
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,920
No Meatball, stand down!
54
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,316
So we're looking for a few
good men
55
00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:11,456
in our fight against the
Soviet Army.
56
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,640
Let me ask you,
are you up for it?
57
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,960
Well Dante, my answer is...
Better dead than Red.
58
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,020
Welcome aboard.
59
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,240
Grenade!
60
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,900
Charge!
61
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,180
Meatball, no!
62
00:08:16,140 --> 00:08:19,060
It's okay it doesn't even
hurt that bad.
63
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,696
Don't die on me, Meatball.
64
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,776
just give me some duct tape,
I can still fight.
65
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,596
He's gone delirious.
66
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,820
Really, I'll be okay.
67
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,996
What in the name of
Sam Jackson is that?
68
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:33,140
A deep blue Commando Shark?
69
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,100
Kill them all!
70
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,040
Sweet mother of the Jersey Devil.
71
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,240
It's a damn Shark Commando!
72
00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:47,060
No!
73
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,500
I'm not gonna make it, save yourself.
74
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,340
Fall back, I'll cover you.
75
00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:54,960
Not without Cliff.
76
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:03,300
(Russian)
77
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,640
Damn you!
78
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:32,196
Let's call this a great FIN-ish
to a glorious battle.
79
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:34,656
You can take my life.
80
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,640
But don't take my Meatball.
81
00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:39,456
Your friend is chum.
82
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,836
Take the other one as a prisoner.
83
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:46,320
We will torture him for information
of the American Militia.
84
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,580
Nooooooooooo!
85
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:56,440
Aggghhh!
86
00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:16,936
Hidden away in a mysterious lab.
87
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,520
American Scholar Dermot
Jackson Washington
88
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,050
tests new formulas in
hopes to create his own
89
00:10:22,062 --> 00:10:24,360
super human soldier
for the American side.
90
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,536
Agatha Hudson.
91
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:43,136
What a sight for normal guys.
Welcome to my laboratory.
92
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,676
Hello Dermot, have your experiments
provided any new discoveries that might be
93
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:48,740
useful to our troops?
94
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,676
Unfortunately everything
has fallen short thus far.
95
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:58,880
While experimenting on human and canine
DNA has been met with moderate success.
96
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:04,380
I have yet to meet the standards
that I had hoped to achieve.
97
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,800
Where lies the success
of said experiment doctor?
98
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,060
Why don't you ask old Bruno
over there?
99
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,600
You want me to ask a
dog about the experiment?
100
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,076
Are you feeling all right?
101
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,836
Have you? How do you fallen ill
from being cooped up here too long
102
00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:26,040
alone in this lab doctor,
should I send word for help?
103
00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:30,040
I'm feeling hungry,
can I have a treat?
104
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,616
Did that dog just talk?
105
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,076
Precisely that is what
I am trying to tell you.
106
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:38,236
Ol' Bruno there can talk just
like you or I.
107
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:44,320
However, he is as dumb as a
bag of marbles.
108
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,516
I could really go potty soon too.
109
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,716
But I'm more concerned about eating.
110
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,456
Can I have that treat now?
111
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,480
Where's my ball,
have you seen my ball?
112
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,340
Sweet potatoes.
113
00:11:55,460 --> 00:12:00,696
While creating a talking dog has made it
much more simpler for taking care of him.
114
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:06,276
I have failed to meet the likes
of the Soviet Shark Commando.
115
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:11,560
I need to find the missing
link between brains and brawn.
116
00:12:11,820 --> 00:12:13,400
Ball, did you say ball?
117
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,280
I said brawn, Bruno, brawn.
118
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,236
Have you seen my ball?
119
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:23,856
I have not seen your ball, Bruno and
if it goes underneath the couch again.
120
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,496
I am not going to get it.
121
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,056
Now leave me alone I am
very busy here.
122
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,220
Tell the woman to get my ball.
123
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:37,180
I am not gonna tell Agatha
Hudson to get your ball.
124
00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:39,480
Ball, where's my ball?
125
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,440
Oh... Can you see my
frustration, Agatha?
126
00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:03,600
Meanwhile, on American soil the
Soviet threat hits close to home...
127
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,820
In fact, it hits so close that
it's right at our doorsteps.
128
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,880
Step away from that woman soldier.
129
00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:21,742
Whoever said sharks don't like
130
00:13:21,754 --> 00:13:25,940
the taste of human flesh
clearly never met me.
131
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:32,576
Not another move tuna breath,
or I'll pop ya.
132
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,016
I'd really like to sink my
teeth into you.
133
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:41,556
Do you think you can kill me
before I fit you in my jaws?
134
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,456
Why don't we find out?
135
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,040
I don't think you have the guts.
136
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,340
I've got plenty.
137
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,280
Prove it,
show me what they look like.
138
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,640
For the Motherland.
139
00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:23,476
Corporal.
Sir?
140
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,356
Get a hold of Hornet Squad and
tell them we need reinforcements.
141
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:30,840
Sergeant we split up with Hornet Squad
about ten clicks back, they're MIA.
142
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,176
Damn it.
143
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,136
These Commando Sharks
are tearing our army apart.
144
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,416
I'll try to reach 'em again, Sir.
145
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:40,056
Don't even bother they're all dead
I could just feel it right here.
146
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,916
What are your orders?
147
00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:46,556
Orders? Put your head between your
legs and kiss your ass goodbye.
148
00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:47,396
Sir?
149
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,536
No, don't do that...
150
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:53,436
Get to HQ and tell them we
need air support immediately.
151
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,420
Yes Sir.
152
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,076
Sir, your orders um...
153
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,436
I... I was listening.
154
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,436
I just...
I forgot I gotta write it down.
155
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:05,396
Are you serious?
156
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:08,276
Call HQ thank them for their support.
157
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:14,056
No you moron I said call HQ
tell them we need air support...
158
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,540
Air support.
159
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,256
I'm sorry, you know... I...
160
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,756
I didn't eat breakfast today
I'm just not thinking right.
161
00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:22,696
You can't skip breakfast.
162
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,996
What's the first thing that
Uncle Sam taught you?
163
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:27,320
It's the most important meal
of the day.
164
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,480
Hooah.
Hooah.
165
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:29,976
Please leave.
166
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,240
I'm leaving.
167
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:32,796
Corporal.
168
00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:33,720
Sir.
169
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,076
I hate you.
170
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,840
Sorry.
171
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:44,320
This is exactly why we're
losing... Son of a...
172
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:46,976
Somewhere away from the battlefield.
173
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:51,956
Some of the surviving youth of America
debate world politics and the war.
174
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:53,920
I mean screw the Russians Bro.
175
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,656
I mean they want to come
here and try to fight me.
176
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:56,760
I'll take them all out.
177
00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,476
You just wait an' see. I'd just to go
to their country and waste 'em all Bro.
178
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:04,656
Dwayne you can't blame an entire country
for what their military is doing.
179
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:08,216
I can blame whoever I want to
Chip, all right?
180
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:13,520
This is America and for now
I'm still free.
181
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,616
Well Dwayne I'm just
saying when the war started.
182
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,296
It affected everyone.
183
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:23,376
New people rose to power and some
bad dudes took over the military.
184
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,540
But I'm willing to bet you the average
Russian is just like you or me.
185
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:29,776
Whatever Bro.
186
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:34,280
If it was up to me I would just hit
a button and I would kill 'em all.
187
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:35,960
Bro.
188
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,576
You can't have double
standards like that Dwayne.
189
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,256
That makes you just as
bad as the rest of them.
190
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,196
Shh.
191
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:46,240
Listen Roxy, can you see...
192
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,656
The men... We're talking.
193
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,916
Wow, yeah and here you are talking
such a big game while our own
194
00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:58,536
people are fighting a war defending
us and our right to be free.
195
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,636
It's pretty big words coming from
someone who's sitting at home
196
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:02,716
safe.
197
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:04,280
Away from any real threat.
198
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:07,196
I mean what is it is it that
time of the month?
199
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:09,176
Cuz you're acting like a real
200
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,376
B - I - T - C - H.
201
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,336
Ha ha yeah Bro that's right, woo.
202
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:19,076
Back off Dwayne she has the right
to an opinion just like you.
203
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,816
Whatever Dude.
204
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,160
I'm just gonna get up.
205
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,716
Take a whiz.
206
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:26,760
Cuz I don't care what you think
207
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,340
you think.
208
00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:31,040
I like you, Bro.
209
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,460
Woo.
210
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:45,480
Dorks.
211
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:55,496
I suppose you make up for that
little thing with your large ego.
212
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,260
Holy mackerel.
213
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:00,160
Nah, I'm a shark.
214
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,220
Dwayne?
215
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,640
Do you mind if I join you for
a bite?
216
00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:18,120
Hey, where are you going?
217
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:23,796
What do you want from us?
218
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:27,996
Simply to fertilize the
Earth with your human blood.
219
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:29,796
W... Would ya settle for a kidney?
220
00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:33,780
No thanks, I just filled up
on your comrade over there.
221
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:34,740
Oh.
222
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:36,820
What about a belly full of lead?
223
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:37,780
Huh?
224
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,780
My God you saved us.
225
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:47,276
Just doing my job protecting America
226
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,980
from one Soviet Shark at a time.
227
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,956
What's your name Sir I'd like to know
the name of the man who saved us.
228
00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:55,456
It's Marty, Marty Warbuck.
229
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,040
Be safe fellow Patriots.
230
00:18:57,980 --> 00:18:59,760
What a hero.
231
00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:04,640
Did you piss yourself?
232
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:08,496
I suppose I did.
233
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,320
Yuck.
234
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,200
God bless America.
235
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,076
State your name for the camera.
236
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:28,880
I am Sergeant Dante Buchanan of
the New American Resistance Force.
237
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,700
Where is a resistance base located?
238
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,320
We are everywhere.
239
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,800
You cannot defeat us,
you cannot stop us.
240
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,980
What are you doing?
241
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:47,696
What is that?
242
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,460
That is truth serum you'll be forced
to tell me what I want to know.
243
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:52,876
Then I'll say nothing.
244
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,616
Then you will die.
245
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,876
Death before dishonor.
246
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:59,056
You have no choice you'll
be singing like a song bird.
247
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,300
Once the serum kicks
in it's best not to fight it.
248
00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:04,040
Damn you.
249
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,760
Tell me where to find your
American allies!
250
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,136
My name is Sergeant Dante Buchanan
251
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:17,200
of the New American Resistance Force
and I will not answer your questions.
252
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,020
More serum.
253
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,936
I will not answer your questions.
254
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,460
What is your favorite color?
255
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,160
Green.
256
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,560
Do you prefer dogs or cats?
257
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,560
Dogs.
258
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:40,960
Son of a...
259
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,476
Where is the resistance base located?
260
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:45,400
We... Are... Everywhere.
261
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:48,020
More serum, Doctor?
262
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:52,556
No... No...
We don't want to kill him.
263
00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:53,440
Yet.
264
00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:56,860
What is your favorite food?
265
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,220
Cheeseburgers and fries...
266
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:00,840
Darn it...
267
00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:03,136
Very American.
268
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,500
Where is the base?
269
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,396
Guitar Center.
270
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:09,696
Not bass guitar, more specific.
271
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,176
Right right.
272
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,076
If I was driving around here
on Main street.
273
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:17,676
And decided to stop for
a coffee at the local cafe
274
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:21,036
and then suddenly realized I left my
wallet back at the resistance base.
275
00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:23,860
How would I go about getting
back there?
276
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,220
Well you see.
277
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,200
Ya go down Main until you hit
West Ave.
278
00:21:31,740 --> 00:21:36,276
And then about 2 miles past
Saunders you get to the old church.
279
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,726
Hang a left and go
280
00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:41,576
four miles off the beaten path.
281
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,196
There's the new resistance base.
282
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,816
You can't miss it.
283
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,316
That worked!
284
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:48,320
It really did!
285
00:21:49,780 --> 00:21:51,465
You can continue with a
little bit of
286
00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,540
torture, or whatever
floats your boat Sharky.
287
00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:58,576
I might just skip right to the
part where I'm eating him alive.
288
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:03,260
Really it's your call from here
on out so do as you please.
289
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:05,736
I appreciate it thank you Doctor.
290
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,436
You're very welcome, enjoy now.
291
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:10,396
You won't get away with this.
292
00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:12,336
You've been a wonderful guest
293
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:16,500
as my Russian counterparts
would say "Pahkah".
294
00:22:22,460 --> 00:22:24,096
So you're gonna eat me?
295
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:27,376
Yes most likely I think.
296
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,976
Well that's reassuring.
297
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,196
Did you prefer I let you go?
298
00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:35,476
Yeah, if I had a choice in
the matter.
299
00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:36,676
You don't.
300
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:37,796
Damn.
301
00:22:37,820 --> 00:22:40,040
Yeah, that bites.
302
00:22:56,540 --> 00:22:58,140
So you do bleed?
303
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,276
You'll never stop us.
304
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:02,776
There are more.
305
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,600
We are a collective of Shark Commandos.
306
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,560
When one is in danger.
307
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,776
It is like blood in the water
to the rest.
308
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,940
They will find you and kill you.
309
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,240
Then I shouldn't waste any
more time.
310
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,760
Over here!
311
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:29,700
I heard the shot.
312
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,180
He must not be far.
313
00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:33,640
Find him... And kill him.
314
00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:44,900
You can't hide forever shark killer.
I will find you.
315
00:23:47,220 --> 00:23:48,740
Not if I find you first.
316
00:23:55,380 --> 00:23:56,840
Sweet dreams.
317
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:04,520
Russian Soldier Number 1 do
you copy?
318
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:09,780
I repeat, Russian Soldier
Number 1 do you copy?
319
00:24:10,660 --> 00:24:12,260
Still no answer.
320
00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:15,520
Why are you calling him like this?
Why are you not calling him by his name?
321
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:20,040
Shut up Russian Soldier Number 2.
You are all expendable.
322
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,916
You are hurting my feelings.
323
00:24:22,940 --> 00:24:24,360
Enough.
324
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,396
I have name you know...
325
00:24:30,420 --> 00:24:31,700
It's Valery!
326
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,780
I refuse to call you that.
327
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:35,876
Why do you gotta be so...
328
00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:38,460
I said enough, Number 2.
329
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,256
Boroslav!
330
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,476
It's Valery!
331
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,336
Give it to me!
Do you copy?
332
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:48,560
Give it to me!
333
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,900
No, Mister Bully Shark Man
334
00:24:57,380 --> 00:25:00,200
Boroslav... Do you copy?
335
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,316
Marty Warbuck managed to narrowly
escape the Soviet jaws of death.
336
00:25:10,340 --> 00:25:13,976
So he moved onward towards the New
American Resistance Force Base Camp
337
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,356
in Free New York.
338
00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:19,540
There he had hoped to tell his
brothers in arms of his latest discovery.
339
00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:04,000
I'm tellin' ya.
340
00:26:04,180 --> 00:26:06,540
There's more than one
superhuman shark out there.
341
00:26:06,580 --> 00:26:08,600
Each one of them leads
their own assault group.
342
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,316
They're all linked together like
the freakin' Borg or something.
343
00:26:11,340 --> 00:26:13,520
Well thank you, Mr. Idiot.
344
00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:15,900
But we already know that.
345
00:26:16,420 --> 00:26:20,660
I hope you didn't have to
travel too far down Moron Lane
346
00:26:20,740 --> 00:26:24,096
to find us and to tell us
that load of horse manure.
347
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,080
That we're already aware of.
348
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,100
That would be embarrassing.
349
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:30,160
Roger that.
350
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,860
I didn't... I thought...
How'd everybody else know?
351
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:38,400
I'd expect a candy ass like you wouldn't
listen to the news now would you?
352
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:42,020
I didn't think they're still broadcasting
on television after the bombs.
353
00:26:42,140 --> 00:26:45,196
Oh son of a motherless goat.
354
00:26:45,220 --> 00:26:50,756
You are the dumbest rat
turd in the whole damn world.
355
00:26:50,780 --> 00:26:57,360
And you're fighting on our side.
Oh thank the baby Jesus.
356
00:27:04,820 --> 00:27:06,236
Why's he so mean?
357
00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:09,580
Don't take it too hard kid
he's a tough nut to crack.
358
00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:12,160
Y'all ain't got radios
out where you're at kid?
359
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,816
Most of the news getting out
that way.
360
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,560
Hell the Internet still works.
361
00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:18,500
I didn't think the check I guess.
362
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,836
I'm not gonna lie I feel
pretty dumb right now.
363
00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:24,780
Good news is I killed one of 'em
364
00:27:24,940 --> 00:27:27,256
One. I've got six.
365
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,260
Keep one mounted in
each of my favorite rooms...
366
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,140
This being one of 'em..
367
00:27:32,980 --> 00:27:36,216
Don't feel bad kid the
Corps is proud of you.
368
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,216
Oh yeah you just happen to wander
369
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,096
yourself into a place with far superior
human beings and now you're acting like
370
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,280
you're the bee's knees.
371
00:27:45,460 --> 00:27:47,980
I'm sorry kid I'm coming
off as a bit of a jerk.
372
00:27:48,060 --> 00:27:50,740
Keep up the good fight,
you're doing just swell.
373
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,100
Gee thanks.
374
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,900
Son, the country is proud for
your service.
375
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,040
You grab a gift bag on the way out
complimentary grenades inside.
376
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,480
Wonderful, I just ran out.
377
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:04,780
Bye bye now.
378
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,300
And so Marty's epic journey had
led to a discouraging chapter.
379
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:21,580
He would now walk aimlessly into
the unknown unsure of his future.
380
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:25,096
Without a friend or companion
by his side.
381
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:28,800
In this moment he knew what it
felt like to be truly alone.
382
00:28:29,460 --> 00:28:31,460
Are you kidding me?
383
00:28:33,700 --> 00:28:38,200
Until we meet again fearful hero.
384
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:04,256
Ladies and gentlemen I have gathered
you here together to discuss our plans
385
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,620
on destroying the Soviet opposition.
386
00:29:08,140 --> 00:29:13,016
We will not go quietly
as these scumbags try to
387
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,200
take over our beloved country.
388
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,620
We will sneak behind enemy lines
389
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:26,396
and cut straight to the heart of their
command we will infiltrate their base of
390
00:29:26,420 --> 00:29:30,716
operation and destroy
it from the inside out.
391
00:29:30,740 --> 00:29:33,596
They won't even know what hit 'em.
392
00:29:33,620 --> 00:29:38,476
We will bring the battle right
to their doorsteps.
393
00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:40,360
We have located the...
394
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,916
Don't interrupt me when I'm
talking son.
395
00:29:43,940 --> 00:29:45,620
You'll get your turn.
396
00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:48,336
But it's important...
397
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:52,336
I was just curious as to what
your plan was
398
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,436
if the enemy already have
achieved these things you say
399
00:29:55,460 --> 00:30:00,436
and we're standing inside your base
with their weapons trained on you.
400
00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:01,600
Oh boy.
401
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,976
How the hell did they get
past us did I fall asleep?
402
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,440
Well Young Man if the Reds
are here
403
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:17,480
as you say they are...
As they most certainly appear to be...
404
00:30:18,180 --> 00:30:24,420
I would have them know that we
Americans don't die without a fight.
405
00:30:37,780 --> 00:30:38,660
Medic!
406
00:30:45,780 --> 00:30:47,540
Kill them all!
407
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,896
That General had an explosive personality.
408
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,920
I'm kind of sad I didn't
get to know him better.
409
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,700
He seemed like my kind of chum.
410
00:32:10,260 --> 00:32:14,440
I'm in for five dollars and...
411
00:32:15,420 --> 00:32:18,640
Buy one get one chicken fried chicken.
412
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:24,120
Well since your coupon
holds no value whatsoever.
413
00:32:25,140 --> 00:32:31,080
I'll see your five dollars
and raise you 100 in caps.
414
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,320
Well played Sir, well played.
415
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:43,900
Oh hey guys do you uh... Do you
have some duct tape I could borrow?
416
00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:47,456
Yeah there's some in the other room
in a drawer under the microwave.
417
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,680
Thanks I appreciate it.
418
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,516
Oh man, you feeling okay?
419
00:32:51,540 --> 00:32:53,756
It's not that bad.
I'll be all right.
420
00:32:53,780 --> 00:32:57,396
Really cuz it kind of looks
that bad.
421
00:32:57,420 --> 00:33:00,076
It's alright. I'll be okay.
422
00:33:00,100 --> 00:33:01,416
Okay Dude.
423
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,396
Whatever you say.
424
00:33:03,420 --> 00:33:09,316
You know those mega low douche bags
they did me like Delilah did Samson.
425
00:33:09,340 --> 00:33:12,236
And they shaved me.
426
00:33:12,260 --> 00:33:16,316
And then they waterboarded me
427
00:33:16,340 --> 00:33:18,836
with shark caviar.
428
00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:21,760
I'll be right back guys.
429
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:25,700
Oh man.
430
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:29,740
What do you got?
431
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,216
Hold it!
432
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:47,320
It says leave your weapons
here before entering.
433
00:33:55,580 --> 00:33:57,600
I don't think so.
434
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,800
Any last words, Suckers?
435
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,320
Don't shoot.
436
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,400
he tasted like barbecue
sauce and cheap beer.
437
00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:28,040
American scum.
438
00:34:29,260 --> 00:34:31,780
Come on, let's get out of here.
439
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,280
Oh I'm so sorry.
440
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:13,740
you think I would have heard all
this happen from the other room.
441
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,380
The American Resistance Force suffered.
442
00:35:23,392 --> 00:35:25,966
A huge loss today as
our top secret base of
443
00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:31,216
operations in western New York, which
I may add was cleverly hidden off Route 31.
444
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:34,936
Was ambushed by the Red Army
445
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,076
among the casualties
were General William Spark.
446
00:35:38,100 --> 00:35:40,596
Sergeant Diane Packert.
447
00:35:40,620 --> 00:35:42,936
Captain Bubba Dick Henry.
448
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,746
And some other background soldiers
449
00:35:44,770 --> 00:35:49,476
just trying to make their way
in this dog eat dog world.
450
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,716
While the enemy is still at large
451
00:35:51,740 --> 00:35:55,516
and slaughtering our
boys in great numbers daily.
452
00:35:55,540 --> 00:35:59,336
We will not give up
on the fight for freedom.
453
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,016
In other news our top secret
base on
454
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:06,240
Goat Island in Niagara Falls has
not been detected by the enemy.
455
00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:10,500
And will be our main point of
operations from here on out.
456
00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:13,820
Godspeed my fellow Americans
457
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:16,336
I was just there.
458
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,600
Must have narrowly escaped
with my life.
459
00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:22,616
If only I could have saved their lives
from the cold clammy hands of evil.
460
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,216
Just be happy you're still alive
Marty you're one of the lucky ones.
461
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:28,960
You know, now I just wonder how
they found out about the base camp.
462
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,060
Now, is our new headquarters on
Goat island going to be safe?
463
00:36:32,220 --> 00:36:34,036
Nelson unless the Russians
own a radio.
464
00:36:34,060 --> 00:36:36,976
There's no way humanly possible
they could even know about it.
465
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,136
You really don't think they're
listening to our radio frequencies?
466
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:40,996
Don't be an idiot Marty.
467
00:36:41,020 --> 00:36:43,116
Russkies can't listen to
our stations from Russia...
468
00:36:43,140 --> 00:36:44,760
Moron.
469
00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:48,580
Well they're invading our country don't you
think they could just grab a radio and...
470
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,196
Damn it, Marty.
Alfonzo is our leading expert
471
00:36:52,220 --> 00:36:55,680
psychologist on Russian behavior
just listen to his knowledge.
472
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,300
Forgive me Nelson, I just
think it's cut and dry that...
473
00:36:59,580 --> 00:37:01,596
I have a freakin' degree knucklehead.
474
00:37:01,620 --> 00:37:02,556
From where?
475
00:37:02,580 --> 00:37:05,136
I took an online course
nothing your small brain
476
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,600
could comprehend... Dick Potato.
477
00:37:08,660 --> 00:37:11,056
Online course?
Why would I doubt your credentials.
478
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,300
Was it from U Dummy U?
479
00:37:13,420 --> 00:37:17,176
I've never heard of that school
it was offered through the KGBU
480
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,876
and what in the F is that?
481
00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:21,076
The knowledge of getting
brighter University.
482
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:23,796
You Sir are being brainwashed
by Russian hackers
483
00:37:23,820 --> 00:37:26,056
Well you Sir are a conspiracy theorist.
484
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,980
Gentlemen whoa whoa whoa we have
enough trouble in the world right now.
485
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,716
No need to fight each other.
This just in...
486
00:37:31,740 --> 00:37:33,396
Wait, wait, quiet.
Breaking news.
487
00:37:33,420 --> 00:37:37,720
We've just recieved word that since our
last report the Red Army has dropped
488
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:43,536
heavy airstrikes down on Goat Island the
results of the tragedy are still unknown.
489
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,720
But we are expecting heavy casualties
490
00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,180
Need I say more?
491
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,700
What a strange coincidence.
492
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:53,980
Sure is.
493
00:38:06,340 --> 00:38:11,296
Thanks for throwing this party Jimmy
I was just gonna stay at home and drink
494
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:17,805
the bottle to the end and do that by myself
but I'd much rather be doing that in the
495
00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:19,396
company of friends.
496
00:38:19,420 --> 00:38:22,065
No problem Stacy I feel like
the only
497
00:38:22,089 --> 00:38:27,076
patriotic thing I can do when the whole
world was at war is throw a party drink
498
00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:31,696
amongst friends and maybe blog my
personal uneducated experiences about
499
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:32,940
10 beers later.
500
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,420
You're a real American Hero Jimmy.
501
00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:37,676
Thanks, Pat. Want a wiener?
502
00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:39,476
Wanted it for years.
503
00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:43,800
There's a little bit of gay undertones
when you said that, such an oddball.
504
00:38:43,940 --> 00:38:47,876
It's the end of the world,
just thought I'd be honest.
505
00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:49,175
What a riot.
506
00:38:49,199 --> 00:38:51,836
Never mind.
507
00:38:51,860 --> 00:38:52,880
Ooh.
508
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,320
This guy never quits.
509
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,116
So Jimmy what are you
doing later on tonight?
510
00:39:13,140 --> 00:39:16,440
After I blog I usually
just go right to sleep.
511
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,280
Well... Would you like some company?
512
00:39:19,580 --> 00:39:24,180
I prefer to blog alone. It's really hard
to write with someone standing over you.
513
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,500
Well what about after that?
514
00:39:28,940 --> 00:39:33,660
I don't have a spare bed in my place and
I already promised a couch to someone else.
515
00:39:33,780 --> 00:39:37,340
But if you drank too much you
could always sleep in a garage.
516
00:39:38,260 --> 00:39:40,520
I think you're missing the point.
517
00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:44,940
I'll go ask Pat...
518
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:55,540
Hey!
519
00:40:01,380 --> 00:40:03,340
Hey what can I do you for pal?
520
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,680
I'll take a hotdog and cheeseburger...
521
00:40:08,180 --> 00:40:11,536
Can you serve me up a human
slathered in barbecue sauce
522
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,500
with some beer battered
pompous douchebag.
523
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:21,840
We don't serve people here... I mean
we serve people but not on the menu.
524
00:40:24,300 --> 00:40:27,320
Maybe if I walked you through
it you'd change your mind.
525
00:40:38,220 --> 00:40:39,020
Sweet.
526
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,460
Anybody hungry?
527
00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:43,140
The hell?
528
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,260
What are you doing? These are civilians.
529
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,496
I'm about to school you
in FIN dining, my comrade.
530
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,260
White meat is jaw some.
531
00:41:05,940 --> 00:41:07,460
Goodbye, cruel world!
532
00:41:20,380 --> 00:41:21,740
Bottoms up.
533
00:41:24,460 --> 00:41:28,820
Oh man, I think I got a
buzz when I bit into that one.
534
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,756
Meanwhile in Russia,
the war rages on...
535
00:41:59,780 --> 00:42:02,216
While the Red army invades on
American soil.
536
00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:07,560
North Korea drops bombs down
on the Soviet bases in Siberia.
537
00:42:12,860 --> 00:42:16,520
Marshall... Wolfgang I...
538
00:42:18,230 --> 00:42:19,896
Speak...
539
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:24,016
We are in the middle of a war.
I do not have time for this.
540
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,806
Sir, I was sending Snaf chats
541
00:42:25,830 --> 00:42:29,406
back and forth with my cousin in
the United States when he sent me
542
00:42:29,430 --> 00:42:31,120
disturbing news.
543
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,840
All news is disturbing news...
544
00:42:34,340 --> 00:42:37,840
Well except for good news,
often that is very good...
545
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,140
Go on comrade,
get on with the punch line.
546
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:45,276
It turns out, our shark commandos are not
just killing the American resistance.
547
00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:47,656
They are also slaughtering civilians.
548
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,636
When we dropped nuclear
weapons on America.
549
00:42:50,660 --> 00:42:55,560
It was never my intention
to harm innocent civilians.
550
00:42:55,980 --> 00:43:00,736
Killing innocent people goes against
everything this war is being fought for.
551
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:03,876
Is it though? I mean if...
If you think about it...
552
00:43:03,900 --> 00:43:07,296
I mean when you created the super
commandos you made them to wipe out...
553
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,380
To wipe out the American scum.
554
00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:11,646
There is no place in this
world for
555
00:43:11,670 --> 00:43:15,736
a Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark
556
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:20,876
who feeds on the flesh
of perfectly innocent
557
00:43:20,900 --> 00:43:23,956
succulent American booty.
558
00:43:23,980 --> 00:43:27,936
Send word for the man
responsible for creating these
559
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,860
treacherous creatures.
560
00:43:29,900 --> 00:43:32,480
I need to speak with him immediately.
561
00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:37,376
After I catch up on the next
episode of Ray Donovan.
562
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,800
The last one was a cliffhanger
563
00:43:40,140 --> 00:43:43,680
Yes, Wolfgang. I will send
your message with haste!
564
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,536
Back in the U.S.A.
Dermot Jackson Washington
565
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,036
rummages through years worth
of paperwork.
566
00:43:57,060 --> 00:44:01,296
Hoping to uncover his mistakes
and rectify his failed experiments.
567
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,716
Blast these infernal experiments!
568
00:44:04,740 --> 00:44:07,760
What's wrong why are you
throwing things?
569
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,120
Oh Bruno...
570
00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:12,696
I don't expect you to understand.
571
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:16,620
Stand? I don't want to stand,
I wanna sit.
572
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,016
Of course you do Bruno...
You poor simple dog.
573
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,056
The world is falling apart
574
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,656
and our beloved country is being
invaded by super human sharks.
575
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,936
And with all my brilliance
and education.
576
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:38,236
All I've come up with is a
feeble minded talking dog.
577
00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:40,798
I'll choose to forgive
you for that seeing as
578
00:44:40,810 --> 00:44:43,360
you're not thinking
clearly 'cause your angry.
579
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,280
Eureka, Bruno!
580
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:50,920
Wait... What?
581
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,336
I've been going at the
equation all wrong.
582
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:05,456
I've done all my
experiments on a canine host.
583
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:09,420
When I should have been testing
on a human host after all.
584
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:13,376
Goody goody gumdrops,
I've solved the equation!
585
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,240
Hot diggety dog!
586
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:16,736
Jumpin' jelly beans!
587
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:17,896
Jiminy Christmas.
588
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:19,936
That sure was a humdinger
589
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:21,015
Ziggety damn!
590
00:45:21,039 --> 00:45:23,136
Heavens to Betsy.
591
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:24,476
Bingo!
592
00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:25,596
Now you're talking.
593
00:45:25,620 --> 00:45:27,600
I'll be doggoned!
594
00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:33,596
The only question now...
Is where do I find a human host?
595
00:45:33,620 --> 00:45:37,976
The only other question is...
When do we eat?
596
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,480
Soon my furry friend, very,
very soon.
597
00:45:41,540 --> 00:45:45,076
Not only will we taste the
sweet success of victory.
598
00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:47,136
But we will also see if
there's any
599
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:51,316
Post Apocalyptic Pizza
Places that still deliver.
600
00:45:51,340 --> 00:45:52,876
You're a genius!
601
00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:55,516
And soon the rest of the
world will know
602
00:45:55,540 --> 00:45:59,300
that we are on the
brink of liberation, Bruno.
603
00:46:03,180 --> 00:46:06,462
Marty Warbuckand his new
companion Alfonzo
604
00:46:06,474 --> 00:46:09,396
Itani searched for a
fight against the Red army
605
00:46:09,420 --> 00:46:11,096
under the cover of the woods.
606
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,476
Blood was in the water and
this time America was the
607
00:46:14,500 --> 00:46:16,516
shark searching for its prey.
608
00:46:16,540 --> 00:46:18,196
What's the plan Marty?
609
00:46:18,220 --> 00:46:22,760
We're apparently on our own in the
shark infested country we call home.
610
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:28,116
Well the plan is...
Find those Soviet dirtbags.
611
00:46:28,140 --> 00:46:30,560
Send them back to Hell
where they came from.
612
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,900
When we're done with those scumbags
there will be no vacancy in hell.
613
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:36,696
Quiet!
614
00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:37,920
You hear that?
615
00:46:38,180 --> 00:46:39,756
Sounds like...
616
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,200
Russians.
617
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,580
It's hammer time.
618
00:46:49,620 --> 00:46:52,080
La la, la vidly vodka.
619
00:46:52,340 --> 00:46:53,280
Vodka!
620
00:46:53,460 --> 00:46:54,560
La vidly vodka.
621
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:55,500
Vodka!
622
00:46:55,540 --> 00:46:57,116
La vidly va, la vidly va
623
00:46:57,140 --> 00:46:58,096
Vidly... Vodka
624
00:46:58,120 --> 00:46:58,920
Vodka! eh!
625
00:46:59,040 --> 00:46:59,880
Vodka!
626
00:47:05,260 --> 00:47:08,000
Don't even think about it.
627
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,876
Damn dirty rotten vodka
stenched Russkies.
628
00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:17,380
They didn't need to die.
629
00:47:17,860 --> 00:47:19,356
But they chose to.
630
00:47:19,380 --> 00:47:22,000
All this killin' can make a
man go insane.
631
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:26,696
Sometimes I wonder who I am when
I do what I have to keep doing.
632
00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:28,820
Nobody ever said killing came easy.
633
00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:31,391
I just try to think of
every American life I
634
00:47:31,403 --> 00:47:33,860
might have just saved by
vanquishing the red enemy.
635
00:47:33,940 --> 00:47:37,000
And that Marty...
That gives me peace.
636
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:40,856
God bless America.
637
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:42,840
Ain't that the truth.
638
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,700
We should keep moving. There's
probably more Red Army around here.
639
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,407
And with this small victory, Marty
640
00:47:52,419 --> 00:47:54,896
Warbuck and Alfonzo
Itani brought America
641
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:59,156
just one small step closer to winning
the war against our deranged enemy.
642
00:47:59,180 --> 00:48:02,480
What some men called the Red Devil.
643
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:14,916
Hello my liege and welcome to America
the land of diminishing freedoms.
644
00:48:14,940 --> 00:48:18,636
To what do I owe the pleasure of the
great Wolfgang Sokolov entering my lair.
645
00:48:18,660 --> 00:48:22,496
Perhaps you're here to congratulate
me of my recent successes.
646
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:28,920
Quite the contrary doctor. Well I find
your experiments a smashing success.
647
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,536
I grow suspicious of your intentions.
648
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,676
My intentions are only
to please you my master.
649
00:48:35,700 --> 00:48:38,820
I created these super
sharks to do your bidding.
650
00:48:39,620 --> 00:48:43,226
Tell me what it is I can do differently
and I will surely do the best I can to
651
00:48:43,250 --> 00:48:47,036
gratify your requests...
My fearless leader.
652
00:48:47,060 --> 00:48:49,186
Well I wanted to conquer this
world and
653
00:48:49,210 --> 00:48:51,916
rule over this country.
654
00:48:51,940 --> 00:48:56,516
I did not want it to be at
the expense of innocent lives.
655
00:48:56,540 --> 00:49:00,536
That is strange with a
whole nuclear war and all.
656
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:03,660
Why does everyone keep saying that?
657
00:49:03,700 --> 00:49:10,000
I only wanted to nuke the bad guys not
kill everyone in the whole country.
658
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,476
Well you can't really pick
and choose.
659
00:49:12,500 --> 00:49:14,296
Whatever I am not a scientist.
660
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,736
That is besides the point.
661
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,156
Which is?
662
00:49:18,180 --> 00:49:22,560
I want the slaughtering
of civilians to stop.
663
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,536
These sharks they can't really
be told what to do in such ways.
664
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:29,836
You programmed them.
665
00:49:29,860 --> 00:49:32,776
They only do what you ask.
666
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,176
Otherwise we would all be dead.
667
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:40,466
You see you are missing the bigger picture
Wolfgang they do only kill whoever I
668
00:49:40,490 --> 00:49:42,036
command them to. Yes.
669
00:49:42,060 --> 00:49:45,400
And they are sparing
your Russian army for now.
670
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:46,536
For now?
671
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:47,716
Yes.
672
00:49:47,740 --> 00:49:50,476
But you see I am not a Russian.
673
00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:52,276
I am a simple German doctor.
674
00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:54,196
Doing work for the Russians.
675
00:49:54,220 --> 00:49:58,816
And we appreciate what you have
done for us in this war so far.
676
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,240
But it must end.
677
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:06,976
I'm afraid it only ends the way
that I write the story in history
678
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,196
you poor buffoon.
679
00:50:08,220 --> 00:50:09,836
Excuse me?
680
00:50:09,860 --> 00:50:12,346
You see while I have been
mass producing
681
00:50:12,370 --> 00:50:15,406
these shark commandos you've been
annihilating the military in both
682
00:50:15,430 --> 00:50:17,656
America and North Korea.
683
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:21,060
Now we are slowly
becoming the greatest power
684
00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:22,496
in the world.
685
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:26,036
For the greater strength of
the motherland.
686
00:50:26,060 --> 00:50:29,456
For now, but as soon as
I flip this switch.
687
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:33,916
My shark army will turn on the
Soviet scum and I will become the
688
00:50:33,940 --> 00:50:35,836
ruler of the new world.
689
00:50:35,860 --> 00:50:37,956
You will never get away with this.
690
00:50:37,980 --> 00:50:41,340
Who will stop me, you?
691
00:50:44,340 --> 00:50:45,976
What have you done?
692
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,696
I have injected you with
my experimental shark DNA.
693
00:50:48,720 --> 00:50:51,706
While the original was designed
to be put in sharks I created
694
00:50:51,730 --> 00:50:54,716
another drug that works on
humans as well.
695
00:50:54,740 --> 00:50:57,336
It takes longer but it has
the same result.
696
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:58,616
You mean?
697
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,116
Within eight hours you will become
698
00:51:01,140 --> 00:51:06,276
a Shark Commando ready to kill or
die for me at the push of a button.
699
00:51:06,300 --> 00:51:07,380
Impossible!
700
00:51:07,540 --> 00:51:10,036
So very possible Wolfgang.
701
00:51:10,060 --> 00:51:13,486
Each shark man is injected
with a microscopic chip that
702
00:51:13,510 --> 00:51:18,196
gives me complete control of their actions.
With this device I can program
703
00:51:18,220 --> 00:51:21,116
who they attack and adjust
their aggressiveness.
704
00:51:21,140 --> 00:51:23,800
What if they were to turn
against you?
705
00:51:23,860 --> 00:51:26,520
I've put a kill switch in
the remote just in case.
706
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,476
Which button is that?
707
00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,896
The big red one?
708
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:35,056
Stop asking me questions...
709
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:36,376
Yes the red one.
710
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,740
I was just curious.
711
00:51:39,180 --> 00:51:43,556
If you have family now would
be the time to say your goodbyes.
712
00:51:43,580 --> 00:51:45,360
You're a monster.
713
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:49,720
Soon you will find that you
are the monster.
714
00:52:04,580 --> 00:52:06,280
Oh ho ho... Jackpot!
715
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:14,140
Hey man you got any change?
716
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,856
I'll tell you what if you
come back to my lab.
717
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:22,080
I will give you $20 a pizza
and let you take a shower.
718
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:23,300
Oh ho.
719
00:52:23,341 --> 00:52:24,496
What do you say to that?
720
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:25,496
One rule.
721
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:26,586
Anything.
722
00:52:26,610 --> 00:52:29,320
Mm hmm no sodomy.
723
00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:32,096
Sir, I can assure you, I am a gentleman.
724
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,196
That was never in the plan.
725
00:52:34,220 --> 00:52:36,560
Then count me in haha.
726
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,020
Well come this way.
Oh yeah
727
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:41,700
Happy days are here again!
Happy days.
728
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:48,756
This is some damn good pizza
I can't believe they still deliver.
729
00:52:48,780 --> 00:52:51,316
I know quite mind boggling
isn't it?
730
00:52:51,340 --> 00:52:54,540
Thanks for this...
731
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,396
You know, it's hard to find someone
who will help out an old homeless guy
732
00:52:59,420 --> 00:53:03,256
without any ulterior motives.
733
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,916
Ulterior motives... Right.
734
00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:08,556
Ya know whenever anyone says there
735
00:53:08,580 --> 00:53:13,640
ain't any good people left in the world
well I can tell them... They're wrong.
736
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,776
Of course... Say can
you do something for me?
737
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,206
Oh sure man.
738
00:53:18,230 --> 00:53:20,460
Anything for a friend hmm
739
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,036
I'd like to inject you with
some canine DNA.
740
00:53:23,060 --> 00:53:24,116
Stem cells...
741
00:53:24,140 --> 00:53:28,620
A hint of strange chemicals that
I derived from a scientific formula.
742
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:31,144
That you wouldn't understand
even if I explained it to you.
743
00:53:31,168 --> 00:53:32,296
What's it gonna do?
744
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,436
It's gonna turn you into
a Superhuman Weredog.
745
00:53:35,460 --> 00:53:36,656
Where at my command.
746
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:40,000
You would defend America...
From its enemies.
747
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,660
I don't have anything else
going on so...
748
00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:45,876
Sure I guess.
749
00:53:45,900 --> 00:53:47,980
Brilliant... Brilliant
750
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,136
I can't believe you suckered
someone into letting you do it
751
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,340
I thought you would have had
do drug him.
752
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,016
Did you drug me?
753
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,816
I think that dog was talking
to me.
754
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,236
Shut up Bruno.
755
00:54:02,260 --> 00:54:06,156
Don't pay attention to that
dog he's just messing with you.
756
00:54:06,180 --> 00:54:09,920
Okay... So we gonna do
this before my shower?
757
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:13,700
Ow ow ow.
758
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,756
You should have said go or something...
759
00:54:19,780 --> 00:54:21,460
It surprised me.
760
00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:25,220
Are you feeling any of the
effects yet?
761
00:54:25,300 --> 00:54:27,116
No, I don't think so.
762
00:54:27,140 --> 00:54:28,536
Do you want a biscuit?
763
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:32,296
I may be homeless but I am
not an animal.
764
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:37,696
Oh my life's works all been
for nothing.
765
00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:40,028
I wouldn't say you spent your entire
766
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,876
lifetime trying to turn
a man into a weredog.
767
00:54:42,900 --> 00:54:44,676
Shut up Bruno.
768
00:54:44,700 --> 00:54:46,500
I was trying to be dramatic.
769
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:51,700
Oof.
770
00:54:59,900 --> 00:55:01,100
You alright, Boy?
771
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:06,940
He's taking on the
characteristics of a canine...
772
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,196
But he hasn't started
the transformation yet.
773
00:55:10,220 --> 00:55:14,086
Now is probably a good time to say
that whole bit about your experiment
774
00:55:14,110 --> 00:55:15,300
being a waste.
775
00:55:15,860 --> 00:55:17,300
Shut up Bruno.
776
00:55:20,060 --> 00:55:21,740
It's rolling.
777
00:55:21,780 --> 00:55:22,840
You're live.
778
00:55:23,060 --> 00:55:26,080
Hello, people of the world.
779
00:55:27,340 --> 00:55:29,756
If anybody is listening.
780
00:55:29,780 --> 00:55:34,180
My name is Wolfgang Sokolov.
781
00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:40,116
I am the Marshal of the
Russian Federation.
782
00:55:40,140 --> 00:55:42,296
And appointed leader of the
783
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,120
reinstated Soviet Army.
784
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:50,600
I have written this
letter to you the people.
785
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:54,700
To understand me and the
things I have done.
786
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:58,156
I am a troubled man.
787
00:55:58,180 --> 00:56:01,420
That has made a huge mistake
788
00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:05,816
by overthrowing my own government.
789
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:10,036
And commencing this nuclear war.
790
00:56:10,060 --> 00:56:14,816
I have destroyed so much of
the world that was still good.
791
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,500
I had hired a German scientist
792
00:56:17,620 --> 00:56:20,136
named Siegfried Schröder.
793
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,660
To create these Post Apocalyptic
Shark Commandos.
794
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,428
My plan was to crush the
military and
795
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,916
government presence in
America and so on for the
796
00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:32,700
rest of the world.
797
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:39,080
I dreamed of a united world all
serving under the Soviet flag.
798
00:56:39,300 --> 00:56:40,136
But.
799
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:44,196
My dream soon became a nightmare
800
00:56:44,220 --> 00:56:46,795
once I discovered that
Schroeder was
801
00:56:46,819 --> 00:56:49,436
slaughtering innocent civilians.
802
00:56:49,460 --> 00:56:53,680
And had full power over the
Shark Commandos.
803
00:56:53,720 --> 00:56:55,660
I confronted him.
804
00:56:56,420 --> 00:56:59,256
He has injected me with a virus
805
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:05,300
that will transform me into one
of his mindless shark drones.
806
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,536
My time left here is limited.
807
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:14,076
So I beg you...
808
00:57:14,100 --> 00:57:16,816
Whoever is listening to stop Schroeder
809
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,956
and end this war.
810
00:57:19,980 --> 00:57:25,800
He alone holds a device capable
of stopping these creatures.
811
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:30,116
He is currently located in
Western New York.
812
00:57:30,140 --> 00:57:34,216
Here is a picture of us
together so that
813
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,256
you may identify him.
814
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:38,540
Stop the scientist.
815
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:40,240
Save the world.
816
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:42,776
Your cell phone still works?
817
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,016
Yes Marty.
818
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,236
It was just another run
of the mill nuclear war.
819
00:57:46,260 --> 00:57:48,080
You act like the world ended
or something.
820
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,176
Well I mean it kind of did.
821
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,116
There's a lot of stuff in the tank.
822
00:57:52,140 --> 00:57:54,520
I can't even watch my
stories on cable anymore.
823
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,176
Why is that the most important
thing you want to talk about.
824
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:59,156
Did you not just watch this
video with me?
825
00:57:59,180 --> 00:58:00,936
Wolfgang Sokolov just
informed us
826
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,996
that the key to ending this war
lies right here in our general area.
827
00:58:04,020 --> 00:58:07,186
How do we know there's not lies, how
do we know it's not a trap or something?
828
00:58:07,210 --> 00:58:10,065
They already have the upper hand what
would it benefit him giving us the
829
00:58:10,089 --> 00:58:13,380
information he just did think
about the facts Marty.
830
00:58:13,620 --> 00:58:17,616
Well if you were some evil scientist
with secret lab where would you hide?
831
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,056
If I was an evil scientist bent
832
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,736
on destroying society.
833
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:25,300
And I was just revealed to the
world I'd probably go into hiding.
834
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,396
Well if you were an evil
scientist that wanted the fame of
835
00:58:28,420 --> 00:58:32,380
starting the biggest war in all of
history, then where would you hide?
836
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:36,640
I'll check online and see
what's trending.
837
00:58:36,820 --> 00:58:41,460
Well if I had to guess I'd say he's
probably out there creating some sort of...
838
00:58:41,540 --> 00:58:43,280
Gargantua Shark!
839
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,436
Do you see it Dilbert?
840
00:58:48,460 --> 00:58:50,816
Do you see the monster I have created?
841
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:52,740
Yeah master, it's beautiful!
842
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,816
Nobody can stop me now.
843
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:09,596
The world is my oyster.
844
00:59:09,620 --> 00:59:12,780
My enemies will crumble
before me.
845
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:36,080
For the love of cheesecake,
would you shut up already?
846
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,840
That's really getting annoying.
847
00:59:39,020 --> 00:59:41,420
I agree, Bruno. I absolutely agree.
848
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,060
But I don't know what to do.
849
00:59:46,460 --> 00:59:51,240
All the time I’ve spent trying to create my
own super human soldier has been a waste.
850
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:54,476
I've failed once again old friend.
851
00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:57,656
Maybe instead of creating
your own superhuman.
852
00:59:57,680 --> 01:00:01,936
You should just try to come up with
something to repel the existing sharks.
853
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:04,556
You know, like flea medicine.
854
01:00:04,580 --> 01:00:07,960
Bruno you're a genius!
855
01:00:13,700 --> 01:00:14,796
When I was trying to
856
01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:17,096
remove the cancerous
tumor from your buttocks.
857
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,056
I stocked up on a substantial
858
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:20,836
supply of Pardaxin.
859
01:00:20,860 --> 01:00:24,060
Which I collected from the
secretions of the Red Sea Sol...
860
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:26,696
You lost me on butt cancer.
861
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:29,856
What I'm trying to say
Bruno is I hoarded an
862
01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:32,900
excessive amount of Pardaxin.
863
01:00:33,540 --> 01:00:36,636
Which happens to be
alternatively used as a
864
01:00:36,660 --> 01:00:38,060
shark repellent.
865
01:00:38,420 --> 01:00:39,240
Brilliant!
866
01:00:42,020 --> 01:00:45,786
If we sprayed this Pardaxin into the
face of a shark man it will result in
867
01:00:45,810 --> 01:00:51,176
severe struggle mouth paralysis and
temporary leakage of urea from the gills.
868
01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:57,060
Giving our soldiers enough
time to fight the good fight.
869
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:03,160
Shut up! Bad, Human. Stop.
870
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:13,080
Something bad is happening.
871
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:37,720
Thank you!
872
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:40,240
Really?
873
01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:42,496
I'm getting weird looks from you.
874
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:46,400
You're a walking talking
shark man, come on.
875
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:02,760
What are the odds that I'd
create that shark repellent
876
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,440
as soon as the killer
shark man entered my lab.
877
01:02:05,900 --> 01:02:08,501
And how convenient
that he left his gun leaning
878
01:02:08,513 --> 01:02:10,736
on the wall instead
of just shooting you.
879
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:15,956
How that series of events happened to play
out so well and just in the nick of time.
880
01:02:15,980 --> 01:02:19,420
Is beyond even my comprehension.
881
01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:24,356
Hello Agatha.
882
01:02:24,380 --> 01:02:25,776
I think I've stumbled across something
883
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:27,740
that could change the pace of
this war.
884
01:02:28,300 --> 01:02:29,480
Come quickly.
885
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,820
We have sharks to kill.
886
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:37,420
Bruno, stop licking that!
887
01:02:41,260 --> 01:02:42,060
I found it.
888
01:02:42,100 --> 01:02:42,936
What is it?
889
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:45,096
I was following trending
videos on social media.
890
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:48,560
And it just came across this video
of a giant land walking shark.
891
01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:51,680
Jumping jaguars,
that thing is huge.
892
01:02:51,860 --> 01:02:55,336
I think this evil scientist just created
a far bigger threat to this war than just
893
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:56,440
commando sharks.
894
01:02:57,180 --> 01:02:59,496
You're telling me there's a
shark of Megalodon proportions.
895
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:01,956
Crushing and eating its
way through New York?
896
01:03:01,980 --> 01:03:03,436
That's exactly what I'm
saying, Marty.
897
01:03:03,460 --> 01:03:06,480
And I know the exact location
of this building it just leveled.
898
01:03:06,580 --> 01:03:09,160
Let's go there's no time to waste.
899
01:03:20,620 --> 01:03:22,116
Let's rock and roll baby.
900
01:03:22,140 --> 01:03:23,720
It's fishing time.
901
01:03:23,940 --> 01:03:25,420
I have a shark to kill.
902
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:27,740
Let's kick some monster fin.
903
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:30,816
Dude stop trying to one up me
every time
904
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:31,896
I drop a good one liner.
905
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:34,416
I like one liners too what's
the big deal?
906
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,296
There's no one around here anyway.
907
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:37,740
Well it's just kind of my thing.
908
01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:40,600
And I feel like you're
kind of taking that from me.
909
01:03:41,180 --> 01:03:44,040
I didn't know I'm sorry.
910
01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:45,740
It's fine, let's just go.
911
01:03:48,580 --> 01:03:51,660
Bring me sharks or bring me death.
912
01:03:52,140 --> 01:03:53,020
Dude!
913
01:03:53,060 --> 01:03:54,120
My last one, I swear.
914
01:03:59,140 --> 01:04:01,260
Wolfgang, are you alright?
915
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:06,380
I am turning into one of
those creatures.
916
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:08,660
How can you be sure?
917
01:04:11,740 --> 01:04:13,960
I am transforming!
918
01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:16,080
Wha... What can I do to help you?
919
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:18,360
There is nothing.
920
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:19,960
Anyone can do.
921
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:23,336
It is too late for me.
922
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,180
There must be something.
923
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:27,096
I hope.
924
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:31,980
That when people look back in history
925
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:37,260
they will not remember
me as the monster I was
926
01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:40,460
or the monster I will be.
927
01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:44,756
You're a good man deep down
inside Sir.
928
01:04:44,780 --> 01:04:46,716
People will know that.
929
01:04:46,740 --> 01:04:48,520
Then shoot me in the head.
930
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:50,960
End my suffering.
931
01:04:51,660 --> 01:04:53,456
I... I can't do that
932
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:55,576
I am sworn to protect you Comrade.
933
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:57,300
Then give me your pistol.
934
01:04:58,620 --> 01:05:00,720
Let me do the job myself.
935
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:02,200
Please.
936
01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:04,636
You are going to get through this.
937
01:05:04,660 --> 01:05:07,960
Everything is going to be fine.
938
01:05:09,980 --> 01:05:13,020
I wish that were the case.
939
01:05:13,340 --> 01:05:16,856
Hey come quickly, watch this video.
940
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:18,956
Schröder has created a
Gargantua Shark that is
941
01:05:18,980 --> 01:05:21,536
leveling cities with its
girthy body.
942
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:24,996
I'll come in a minute I'm
checking on Wolfgang.
943
01:05:25,020 --> 01:05:28,356
Holy peanut butter and crap sandwich!
944
01:05:28,380 --> 01:05:31,200
Its even eating us Russians,
nobody is safe!
945
01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:34,060
Just pause it I'll be there soon.
946
01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:38,540
Wolfgang?
947
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:44,560
You should have killed me
when you had the chance.
948
01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:01,356
Hey you're not looking so
well Wolfgang.
949
01:06:02,900 --> 01:06:05,160
(Indistinct)
950
01:06:55,720 --> 01:07:00,056
So this shark walks into a
bar with a drink in his hand
951
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,256
and the bartender says.
952
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:07,016
"Hey you gotta FIN-ish that
before you come in here."
953
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:11,040
So the shark wastes
every sucker in the bar.
954
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:25,740
Dermot, hello.
955
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:27,136
Thank you
956
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:29,936
for that shark repellent,
it's going to save many lives.
957
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:31,720
My pleasure Agatha.
958
01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:33,596
Yes... Well...
959
01:07:33,620 --> 01:07:36,196
The Russians have just signed
a peace treaty and we're
960
01:07:36,220 --> 01:07:39,096
one step closer to taking
down those shark devils.
961
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:41,096
We couldn't have done it
without you.
962
01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:42,336
Thank you, Agatha.
963
01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:43,436
With enough repellent.
964
01:07:43,460 --> 01:07:46,876
We might even be able to take down that
gargantuan shark that is currently
965
01:07:46,900 --> 01:07:48,196
terrorizing New York.
966
01:07:48,220 --> 01:07:49,920
Orangutan shark?
967
01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:54,380
Gargantuan shark...
Is an enormous shark
968
01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:59,156
that can breathe out of the water
and is flopping around the city.
969
01:07:59,180 --> 01:08:01,736
Eating civilians and wrecking
everything in its path.
970
01:08:01,760 --> 01:08:03,740
How curious.
971
01:08:04,260 --> 01:08:05,440
Indeed.
972
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:09,640
Narf?
973
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:12,716
New American Resistance Force
974
01:08:12,740 --> 01:08:16,540
Well it's just that it reminded
me of Pinky and brain is all.
975
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:22,236
Anyway old Bruno is sweating it
out in the car I don't want to keep
976
01:08:22,260 --> 01:08:23,776
a hot dog waiting.
977
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:25,196
No you shouldn't.
978
01:08:25,220 --> 01:08:27,476
Thank you again Dermot for
your service
979
01:08:27,500 --> 01:08:28,556
to our great country.
980
01:08:28,580 --> 01:08:31,296
If there's ever anything you need
please don't hesitate to ask.
981
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:35,040
Well I could use a new vehicle.
Mine barely passed inspection last time
982
01:08:35,620 --> 01:08:37,540
within reason Dermot.
983
01:08:37,740 --> 01:08:42,496
You make it sound so insincere
when you say it that way.
984
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:44,396
Anything.
985
01:08:44,420 --> 01:08:46,016
Don't you have a dog to check on?
986
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:46,840
Yes I do.
987
01:08:46,900 --> 01:08:47,900
Farewell.
988
01:08:48,100 --> 01:08:52,960
Okay goodbye Der... Good... No
goodbye Dermot, that's inappropriate.
989
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:54,976
Run along now.
990
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,100
Thank you.
991
01:08:57,400 --> 01:09:01,280
Till we meet again
peculiar little science man.
992
01:09:33,140 --> 01:09:34,396
Sorry.
993
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:36,060
It's okay?
994
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:40,315
As the story nears its dramatic
995
01:09:40,327 --> 01:09:42,916
conclusion our heroes
face their evil foes on the
996
01:09:42,940 --> 01:09:44,296
battlefield.
997
01:09:44,320 --> 01:09:47,816
On their way to fight the evil
scientist Siegfried Schröder.
998
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:50,136
Marty Warbuck and Alfonzo Itani
999
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:53,216
recruited help from any
American willing to lend a hand
1000
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:54,936
along the way.
1001
01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:57,740
Our whole lives have led
up to this moment people.
1002
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:00,976
The outcome of what happens today
1003
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,100
will define us for generations.
1004
01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:06,276
'Cause this is the day we
stare tyranny in the face.
1005
01:10:06,300 --> 01:10:09,920
And we say go back to the
hell you came from tyranny.
1006
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,556
This is our country.
1007
01:10:11,580 --> 01:10:14,260
Let's show what it means to
be American.
1008
01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:21,900
Do you think the small band of misfits are
capable of fighting my gargantuan shark?
1009
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:26,336
The very thought of it
is complete poppycock.
1010
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:28,836
You don't stand a chance
against my monster.
1011
01:10:28,860 --> 01:10:31,876
They might not but I will.
1012
01:10:31,900 --> 01:10:37,396
I built my trusty shrink ray
years ago.
1013
01:10:37,420 --> 01:10:43,956
To help me transport
loads of surplus supplies
1014
01:10:43,980 --> 01:10:48,176
back and forth to my lab.
1015
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:51,236
I am a bit of a hoarder.
1016
01:10:51,260 --> 01:10:53,306
And when Agatha Hudson
1017
01:10:53,330 --> 01:10:58,056
told me about the giant shark creature
1018
01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:00,416
destroying our city.
1019
01:11:00,440 --> 01:11:03,196
I figured I would come
1020
01:11:03,220 --> 01:11:04,660
and check it out.
1021
01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:11,056
Coincidentally I brought
my shrink ray with me.
1022
01:11:11,080 --> 01:11:15,216
It is always in the glove compartment
1023
01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:17,876
A shrink ray? How convenient!
1024
01:11:17,900 --> 01:11:19,296
Quite.
1025
01:11:19,320 --> 01:11:20,576
I could have you shot now
1026
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:23,066
though I am curious
to see if you are bluffing.
1027
01:11:23,090 --> 01:11:29,246
So I will hesitate just long enough for
you to test your shrink ray and then I
1028
01:11:29,270 --> 01:11:32,360
will doltishly watch as
the next events unfold.
1029
01:11:32,860 --> 01:11:34,840
I don't know what to make of that.
1030
01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:37,260
But here we go.
1031
01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:02,136
Leave him alive.
1032
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:05,136
After we've eradicated the
rest of these American vermin.
1033
01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:10,280
I would like to talk to the brilliant
scientist and pick his brain.
1034
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:13,580
He is now our prisoner.
1035
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:14,760
Yes, Sir.
1036
01:12:15,320 --> 01:12:17,020
Now that the threat of the
giant shark...
1037
01:12:17,060 --> 01:12:18,916
Gargantua Shark.
1038
01:12:18,940 --> 01:12:20,056
Forgive me.
1039
01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:23,156
Now that the threat of the
Gargantua Shark
1040
01:12:23,180 --> 01:12:24,496
is over let's show
1041
01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:27,080
these apex predators how to bleed.
1042
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:29,140
Open fire! Kill them all!
1043
01:12:32,300 --> 01:12:33,420
Oh snap!
1044
01:12:34,540 --> 01:12:35,340
Take cover!
1045
01:13:13,220 --> 01:13:14,980
We're under heavy fire!
1046
01:13:15,820 --> 01:13:16,676
Marty!
1047
01:13:16,700 --> 01:13:17,876
Yeah?
1048
01:13:17,900 --> 01:13:19,276
What do we do now?
1049
01:13:19,300 --> 01:13:21,116
Don't die and keep firing.
1050
01:13:21,140 --> 01:13:22,636
That's reassuring
1051
01:13:22,660 --> 01:13:25,100
Sorry, it's all I got.
1052
01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:35,940
Oof?
1053
01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:40,216
Come on man, he wasn't even armed.
1054
01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:41,356
Sorry.
1055
01:13:41,380 --> 01:13:43,280
Foul play, Sir.
1056
01:13:43,420 --> 01:13:44,300
Dude?
1057
01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:46,036
He was a bad guy.
1058
01:13:46,060 --> 01:13:50,040
Not really he was pretty nice...
He just worked for me.
1059
01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:51,120
Not cool.
1060
01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:53,700
Poor Dilbert.
1061
01:14:07,580 --> 01:14:11,040
Air support was a nice
touch I'm not going to lie.
1062
01:14:19,620 --> 01:14:21,160
We've got him.
1063
01:14:21,300 --> 01:14:24,436
It's over Schröder you no
longer have Russian support.
1064
01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:27,356
Your shark army is as good as chum.
1065
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:30,520
Surrender now and we'll
see you have a proper trial.
1066
01:14:30,780 --> 01:14:34,116
All good things must
come to an end I suppose.
1067
01:14:34,140 --> 01:14:35,660
Schröder
1068
01:14:36,660 --> 01:14:39,640
Wolfgang, here to save me I presume?
1069
01:14:47,220 --> 01:14:48,620
Alfonzo, no!
1070
01:14:49,120 --> 01:14:50,256
He was a shark.
1071
01:14:50,280 --> 01:14:52,620
Don't judge all sharks
by the actions of a few.
1072
01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:54,936
I'm sorry...
1073
01:14:54,960 --> 01:14:56,560
I thought...
1074
01:15:01,440 --> 01:15:04,380
How did you resist my orders?
1075
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:08,060
You made a fatal mistake, Schröder...
1076
01:15:08,260 --> 01:15:12,556
You told me that you injected me with
a microscopic chip which gives you
1077
01:15:12,580 --> 01:15:15,596
complete control of me at
your command.
1078
01:15:15,620 --> 01:15:18,276
So I removed the chip with a knife
1079
01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:20,856
and a lot of painful digging.
1080
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:25,416
I shouldn't have told you that I just
wanted someone to know how brilliant I was.
1081
01:15:25,440 --> 01:15:27,916
It was a great twist on your part
1082
01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:31,356
and yours with the whole
digging the chip out thing.
1083
01:15:31,380 --> 01:15:32,300
Very clever.
1084
01:15:33,160 --> 01:15:34,640
Thank you (Russian)
1085
01:15:34,700 --> 01:15:35,580
Likewise.
1086
01:15:35,960 --> 01:15:38,296
I see a bright light.
1087
01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:40,640
I suppose this is the end.
1088
01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:46,520
Funny... All I see is darkness.
1089
01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:55,496
Check this scientist's pocket for a
remote the red button is a kill switch
1090
01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:59,040
for the rest of the shark army.
1091
01:16:18,880 --> 01:16:20,236
It's over.
1092
01:16:20,260 --> 01:16:21,940
I think you're right.
1093
01:16:25,900 --> 01:16:30,120
Did I really show up
late for the grand finale?
1094
01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:32,880
Dooohhh!
1095
01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:36,580
Sorry, I didn't see him there.
1096
01:16:38,740 --> 01:16:41,076
Bruno you fool.
1097
01:16:41,100 --> 01:16:43,020
My paw is sticky.
1098
01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:47,460
Please forgive me he must
have got it into my formulas.
1099
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:52,380
Let me go find the shrink ray
and I'll take care of this problem.
1100
01:16:52,940 --> 01:16:54,456
Stay put Bruno.
1101
01:16:54,480 --> 01:16:55,280
Okay
1102
01:16:56,980 --> 01:16:59,236
It's been a very strange week.
1103
01:16:59,260 --> 01:17:00,380
You can say that again.
1104
01:17:00,620 --> 01:17:02,636
It's been a very strange week
1105
01:17:02,660 --> 01:17:05,166
I didn't mean you
should literally say it again.
1106
01:17:05,190 --> 01:17:06,536
Then why did you say it?
1107
01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:07,736
It's a figure of speech.
1108
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:08,936
You're a figure of speech
1109
01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:10,936
I'm gonna figure my fist into
your speech .place
1110
01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:13,776
I'm gonna figure my face into
your fist and break it with it.
1111
01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:14,856
I never liked you.
1112
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,480
I never liked you more.
1113
01:17:21,880 --> 01:17:23,280
Medic!
1114
01:17:25,800 --> 01:17:28,726
And so our courageous
heroes fought valiantly to
1115
01:17:28,738 --> 01:17:31,676
restore the country back
to the American people.
1116
01:17:31,700 --> 01:17:34,791
While the rest of the world
ordered a cease fire and were
1117
01:17:34,803 --> 01:17:37,960
forced to sit in the corner
and think about what they did.
1118
01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:43,976
Marty Warbuck and Alfonzo Itani might
have been small fish in a large stinky pond.
1119
01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:47,260
But they proved to the rest
of humanity that even one...
1120
01:17:47,340 --> 01:17:51,363
Or two small seemingly
insignificant individuals can still
1121
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:55,340
make a substantial impact
if given the motivation to try.
1122
01:17:55,460 --> 01:17:58,436
America thanks you Marty and Alfonzo...
1123
01:17:58,460 --> 01:18:01,189
And all the other brave
Americans that fight
1124
01:18:01,201 --> 01:18:03,756
to protect our beloved
country every day.
1125
01:18:03,780 --> 01:18:08,700
Until we meet again,
I bid you farewell.
1126
01:22:01,239 --> 01:22:06,376
Hello resistance fighters this is your
host DJ Guerrilla Warfare bringing you
1127
01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:11,776
the latest news and the hottest tunes on
this side of New America we'll be right
1128
01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:14,496
back after a short break from
our sponsors.
1129
01:22:14,520 --> 01:22:16,716
Freedom Radio AM.
1130
01:22:16,740 --> 01:22:20,320
Your source for Resistance
Force News.
85935
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