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1
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,865
I can't believe Dad's
kicking us out of the house...
2
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,742
...just to watch some stupid movie.
3
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:15,224
Oh, it's okay, honey.
4
00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:19,059
You and I are gonna have
a terrific time at this strip show.
5
00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:23,229
It'll be just like your 12th birthday
all over again.
6
00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:27,339
Okay, but this time
you're the designated driver.
7
00:00:27,550 --> 00:00:29,541
All right, let's check our equipment.
8
00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:32,059
- Ones and fives.
- Check.
9
00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:35,068
- Wesson oil.
- Check.
10
00:00:35,590 --> 00:00:38,548
A driver's license,
just in case I get carded.
11
00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:40,945
That's a good one, Mom.
12
00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:45,186
I mean, check.
13
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:53,074
Advertise your product or brand here
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14
00:00:56,870 --> 00:00:58,826
It was a bad day today, Peg.
15
00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:03,102
One minute, the biggest woman
in the world was in front of me.
16
00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:07,747
I was trying to wedge a size four
on her foot with my lucky shoehorn...
17
00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:10,500
...the next minute, she was gone.
18
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:13,538
The woman died in your store?
19
00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:16,981
Not the woman, Peg, the shoehorn.
20
00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:20,261
Look at it, Peg.
21
00:01:22,070 --> 00:01:24,459
Crushed like a beer can
at a Raiders game.
22
00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:27,059
I'll tell you, Peg...
23
00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:31,388
...the only thing that kept me going
was knowing that tonight is the night.
24
00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:33,342
Oh, don't worry, honey.
25
00:01:33,550 --> 00:01:36,986
We will be gone
by the time your little movie starts.
26
00:01:37,190 --> 00:01:40,500
Death Wish 6 is not a little movie.
27
00:01:40,710 --> 00:01:42,666
It is a once-in-a-lifetime...
28
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:46,943
...3-D, splatter-vision,
pay-per-view event.
29
00:01:56,910 --> 00:01:58,389
Guys...
30
00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:05,902
...I need the house to myself tonight.
31
00:02:06,110 --> 00:02:08,305
My pen pal, Starla,
just got out of prison...
32
00:02:08,510 --> 00:02:10,660
...and she's coming here to see me.
33
00:02:10,870 --> 00:02:12,223
What does she look like?
34
00:02:12,430 --> 00:02:15,263
Supposedly, like Cindy Crawford,
but who cares?
35
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:19,059
She's under 30 and hasn't
been touched by a man in years.
36
00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:22,387
Oh, she's just like me.
37
00:02:22,590 --> 00:02:26,708
Except that your crimes continue
to go unpunished.
38
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:29,382
Go away.
39
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,988
Dad, Starla and I need some privacy.
40
00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:34,579
She's gonna do a body search.
41
00:02:35,510 --> 00:02:37,785
And I've hidden things.
42
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:42,226
You all have exactly 12 and a half
minutes to vacate the premises.
43
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:45,422
I have every movement timed
down to the final second...
44
00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:47,268
...including this one.
45
00:02:53,030 --> 00:02:54,258
Come on, Mom, let's go.
46
00:02:54,470 --> 00:02:57,303
We want to get a pole-side table,
don't we?
47
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,978
Wait a minute, honey.
Come help me find my punch card.
48
00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:03,023
I think I'm due a free lap dance.
49
00:03:12,790 --> 00:03:15,588
I'm looking for Bud Bundy.
50
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:17,269
I'm Bud.
51
00:03:17,470 --> 00:03:19,665
And you must be Starla?
52
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:22,862
You don't look like Brad Pitt.
53
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:27,702
And you don't look like
Cindy Crawford either.
54
00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:29,343
No.
55
00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:31,108
But I've got a gun.
56
00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:33,301
This is a holdup.
57
00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:36,779
- Come on.
- I hope you don't think I'm weird...
58
00:03:36,990 --> 00:03:39,504
...but this is kind of turning me on
a little bit.
59
00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:41,507
Sicko.
60
00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:45,582
You told me you lived
in a French provincial estate.
61
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,985
My cell is nicer than this dump.
62
00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:51,227
Starla, I lied to you because I knew
I wasn't good enough for you.
63
00:03:51,430 --> 00:03:53,307
And we don't--
We don't have any money.
64
00:03:53,510 --> 00:03:56,468
And I don't play for the Bulls either.
65
00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,746
I ought to beat you up.
66
00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:02,905
Would you mind
putting on a nightie first?
67
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:06,662
All right, guys. Oh, hey. Bye.
68
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:08,383
Oh, good, your friend came.
69
00:04:08,590 --> 00:04:10,546
- You guys have a great time.
- Hey, hey, hey.
70
00:04:11,630 --> 00:04:13,985
I'm on the run,
I've got nothing to lose.
71
00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:17,705
Either you and your sisters cooperate,
or someone's gonna get hurt.
72
00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:19,662
Sisters?
73
00:04:22,030 --> 00:04:23,383
I like her.
74
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,183
Mom, I'm scared.
75
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:06,063
Don't worry, honey. She doesn't know
that Daddy's upstairs.
76
00:05:06,270 --> 00:05:08,181
He's our secret weapon.
77
00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:11,588
Yeah, if he leaves
the bathroom door open.
78
00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:13,829
Yoo-hoo.
79
00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:17,700
What are you doing?
I told you to wait in the car.
80
00:05:17,910 --> 00:05:19,263
Thought you might need help...
81
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:21,620
...carrying that picnic lunch
your friends made.
82
00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:25,220
Howdy, I'm Lonnie.
I'm Starla's boyfriend.
83
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:28,269
Starla, where did you get that gun?
84
00:05:28,470 --> 00:05:30,506
Wake up, Jethro.
85
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:34,378
She's escaped from prison.
86
00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:39,062
She didn't escape.
I was right there, picking her up.
87
00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:42,706
They let her out that special
drainpipe exit in the woods.
88
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:46,149
So the media wouldn't harass her.
89
00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:48,628
Mom...
90
00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:52,142
...I can't believe she dumped me
for this guy.
91
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:54,028
He's a total moron.
92
00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:06,539
Now, we're gonna need a getaway car.
We are taking the Porsche.
93
00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:09,139
No, not the Porsche.
94
00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:10,544
Give Lonnie the keys.
95
00:06:19,430 --> 00:06:20,988
Thank you.
96
00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:22,908
I'm Kelly.
97
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:26,350
The garage is through that door.
98
00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:37,782
Now, we're gonna need some food
for the road.
99
00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:39,503
You.
100
00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:41,826
Go cook us something.
101
00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:46,980
You animal.
102
00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:50,186
Don't think about
trying to poison us either.
103
00:06:50,390 --> 00:06:52,824
Yeah, she doesn't have
to think about it...
104
00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,827
...it just sort of happens.
105
00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:57,904
All right. It's okay, Mom,
that's okay, it's okay.
106
00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:05,143
Now, I may not be
the best mechanic in town...
107
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:07,944
...but I'm pretty sure
that's not a Porsche.
108
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:12,265
May not even be a car.
109
00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:15,706
He's so smart.
110
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:21,063
It's Jefferson. Is anyone home?
111
00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:22,339
That's our neighbor.
112
00:07:22,550 --> 00:07:25,622
You better surrender now
because he used to be with the CIA...
113
00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:27,548
...and he is a trained killer.
114
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:41,740
Sorry to just "barge" in.
115
00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:45,506
Oh, Marcy and I had to show you
our costumes.
116
00:07:45,710 --> 00:07:48,782
We're going
on a charity masquerade cruise.
117
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:54,262
Little Bo Peep
has lost her sheep and--
118
00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:57,667
Oh, sorry, I didn't know
you had company.
119
00:07:57,870 --> 00:08:01,021
Wow, are you guys going
on the cruise too?
120
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:04,222
What great costumes.
Wait, let me guess.
121
00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:07,667
Grease monkey and...
122
00:08:07,870 --> 00:08:10,623
...psychotic trailer trash, right?
123
00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:14,545
- Marcy--
- Oh, I love your props.
124
00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:17,025
They're so lifelike.
125
00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:20,506
Eat lead, street scum.
126
00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:23,463
- Shoot her.
- Shoot her.
127
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,059
Bang, bang, you're dead.
128
00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:28,142
This is such fun. There you go.
129
00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:30,102
Don't give her the gun.
130
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,700
No, fun is busting a cap
in Little Bo Peep's ass.
131
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:37,539
Marcy, this is Starla.
132
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,344
She's broken out of prison,
and she's here to rob us.
133
00:08:40,550 --> 00:08:42,142
Of what?
134
00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:45,147
Everybody in the corner.
135
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,147
Jefferson, do something.
136
00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:48,863
Okay.
137
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,819
Exactly which corner would you like?
Right.
138
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:54,702
Everybody, shut up, I gotta think.
139
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:58,027
Yeah, Starla really surprised me
with this whole thing.
140
00:08:58,230 --> 00:09:01,381
I didn't even have time
to learn how to speak Canadian.
141
00:09:02,590 --> 00:09:04,103
Yeah, I know what you mean.
142
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,780
I always wanted to go to Australia,
but I don't speak a word of Australian.
143
00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:11,426
Oh, except for "koala."
144
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,540
I love koalas.
145
00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,980
I got one tattooed on my...
146
00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:22,501
Starla doesn't like it.
She says it makes me look cheap.
147
00:09:22,710 --> 00:09:24,428
What are you doing
with her anyway?
148
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:27,224
I mean, don't you think
she's kind of trampy?
149
00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:29,785
Well, that's my type.
150
00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:33,778
Besides, Starla said it'd be real hard
for me to find another girlfriend...
151
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,469
...on account of how ugly I am.
152
00:09:37,590 --> 00:09:38,545
Get away from her.
153
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,661
She's very moody.
154
00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:44,259
We have got to get
the gun away from her.
155
00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:47,780
Now, we need someone big
and strong and expendable.
156
00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:49,821
Where is your father?
157
00:09:50,030 --> 00:09:52,783
Hey, you told me
your father was dead.
158
00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:54,503
That's right, he died.
159
00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:01,503
Before he could fix the plumbing.
160
00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:04,099
Old Charles Bronson had a gun
161
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,744
Eee-eye-eee-eye-oh
162
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:09,544
With this gun he killed some scum
163
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:10,705
Eee-eye-eee-eye--
164
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,184
Oh.
165
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,139
You're from the cable company,
aren't you?
166
00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:19,865
Al, she's not from
the cable company.
167
00:10:20,070 --> 00:10:22,868
She's Bud's pen pal,
and she's come here to rob us.
168
00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:26,619
You see, that's why we don't allow you
to have friends, Bud.
169
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:32,549
Now, listen, you're obviously
disappointed in Bud. We are too.
170
00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:35,390
But, you see,
I already paid for this movie...
171
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:40,584
...and I had to buy a 200-ounce
bladder buster to get these here.
172
00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:42,667
So why don't you just go--
173
00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:45,748
Oh, my God.
174
00:10:45,950 --> 00:10:48,259
My baby.
175
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:59,699
Oh, why, why, why?
176
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:04,670
Poor Clicky.
177
00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:10,384
So young and so many
channels left to change.
178
00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:14,469
Oh, yeah, big, tough broad picking on
a helpless little remote, aren't you?
179
00:11:15,270 --> 00:11:17,420
Wouldn't be tough without that gun,
would you?
180
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:19,905
No, you idiot, that's why I've got it.
181
00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:21,823
Kind of what I said, isn't it?
182
00:11:26,070 --> 00:11:29,062
Oh, Al, I'm afraid. Hold me.
183
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,942
Peg, Peg, my life's in danger here...
184
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:33,948
...it's important I maintain
my will to live.
185
00:11:37,510 --> 00:11:38,545
Okay, Dad...
186
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:41,822
...we've got to come up with a plan.
What would Charles Bronson do?
187
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:43,907
Well, he'd usually
go on a revenge spree...
188
00:11:44,110 --> 00:11:46,749
...after his loved ones
were brutally slaughtered.
189
00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:49,938
- Think of something else.
- All right.
190
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:51,742
All right, I've come up with a plan.
191
00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:54,339
It's dangerous and risky,
I'll need a volunteer.
192
00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:55,983
- Croquet injury.
- Stubbed my toe.
193
00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:57,305
Thanks a lot.
194
00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,546
Lucky. Lucky, here, boy.
195
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,980
Go get the cops, go get the cops.
196
00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:03,748
Good boy.
197
00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:07,587
What a good dog.
Loyal, strong and brave.
198
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,579
We may need an alternate plan.
199
00:12:14,790 --> 00:12:15,825
I've got another idea.
200
00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:21,662
Are you going to command a squadron
of flies from your hamper to attack?
201
00:12:22,230 --> 00:12:26,428
If I could command those flies,
do you think you'd still be alive?
202
00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:30,304
Al, please do something.
203
00:12:30,510 --> 00:12:31,829
I'm about to, Peg.
204
00:12:32,030 --> 00:12:34,783
I'm toting around 200 ounces
of Mr. Pibb.
205
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,987
Hey, girlie...
206
00:12:39,110 --> 00:12:40,748
...mind if I hit the can?
207
00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:43,339
All right. Lonnie, go with him.
208
00:12:43,550 --> 00:12:46,110
Lonnie, where the hell are you?
209
00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:48,221
Still looking for that Porsche.
210
00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:52,702
Were you back there with Lonnie?
211
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:55,140
Kelly, are you crazy?
212
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,739
You guys, we were just talking.
213
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:00,866
We happen to have a lot in common.
214
00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:04,858
We both hate green eggs and ham,
but we think the book is pretty funny.
215
00:13:06,150 --> 00:13:07,185
Now, remember...
216
00:13:07,390 --> 00:13:13,226
...no matter how she threatens us,
do not tell her about the Mercedes.
217
00:13:13,430 --> 00:13:15,421
Hey, what are you whispering about?
218
00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:18,383
We have a Mercedes next door.
Take it, here are the keys.
219
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,184
No, I won't let you.
220
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:28,428
- Give me the keys.
- No, Starla.
221
00:13:28,630 --> 00:13:31,542
You know, it's not too late
to turn your life around.
222
00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:35,789
So you were gonna blow away
the Bundys. What's that, a $10 fine?
223
00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:38,021
But grand theft auto...
224
00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:39,629
...you're better than that.
225
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:43,266
Inside you is a confused,
misunderstood person...
226
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:47,509
...who doesn't need a Mercedes,
just a second chance.
227
00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:50,747
Yeah, I'll think that over
when I'm ditching your car in a lake.
228
00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:53,066
I hope you fry!
229
00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:56,026
There's not enough voltage
in Illinois...
230
00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:59,666
...and I'm gonna shave your head
when they strap you to the hot--
231
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:04,307
Now, everybody,
down on the floor, now!
232
00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:09,024
Do you know how long it's been
since these floors were washed?
233
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:13,506
Come on, Lonnie,
we gotta make a break for it.
234
00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:15,185
What's going on?
235
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:18,939
"Cotton balls" over there handed
over the keys to their Mercedes.
236
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,947
They're wool.
237
00:14:24,390 --> 00:14:26,142
Mercedes.
238
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,578
That's a good idea.
239
00:14:27,790 --> 00:14:29,746
May I suggest you take a hostage
with you?
240
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:32,066
Perhaps the registered owner
of the car.
241
00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:35,662
That would be her.
242
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:42,348
Before you go, one thing.
Did you and the girls ever pass time...
243
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:44,939
...by spanking each other
with license plates?
244
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:50,183
Oh, I'm really gonna miss you.
245
00:14:54,990 --> 00:14:58,699
I said cops, not crops.
246
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:05,138
Is it me, or is that dog really stupid?
247
00:15:06,150 --> 00:15:10,063
Yeah, but, you know,
he's kind of cute.
248
00:15:17,670 --> 00:15:18,944
We're out of here.
249
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:22,825
- Al, has the movie started?
- Hit the floor, butt head!
250
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:30,106
Oh, man, I missed the beginning.
251
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,348
Damn.
252
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:38,068
This 3-D is incredible.
253
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,262
Take off the glasses, Griff.
254
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,819
Sorry, wrong house.
255
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,863
That Negro family,
where do they live? Next door?
256
00:15:49,630 --> 00:15:51,507
Sit down and shut up.
257
00:16:01,870 --> 00:16:05,226
Didn't you see the "Help" sign
I hung out of the bathroom window?
258
00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:09,105
Al, you've been hanging "Help" signs
ever since I've known you.
259
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,381
I'm not really good
at writing letters...
260
00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:15,582
...especially the capital ones...
261
00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:18,702
- ...but for you, I'll do anything--
- Lonnie, move your ass!
262
00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:21,549
I will see you losers in hell.
263
00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:26,461
Super-premium unleaded only,
please.
264
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:30,700
Jefferson, I feel so violated.
265
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:32,739
Me too.
266
00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:50,581
- Is everybody okay?
- Yeah, I--
267
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:52,189
Then get out.
268
00:16:57,710 --> 00:17:01,544
All right, get down and shut up.
Oh, this sucks.
269
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:04,742
The minute I set foot in this dump,
my life went straight to hell.
270
00:17:04,950 --> 00:17:06,906
So did mine.
271
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,265
Hello?
272
00:17:12,470 --> 00:17:14,381
It's the police.
273
00:17:14,590 --> 00:17:17,548
Yeah, Starla's here,
but she's busy holding us hostage...
274
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,866
...but can I take a message?
275
00:17:20,590 --> 00:17:22,865
- Just give me the phone.
- What?
276
00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:25,300
Hello? This is Bud Bundy.
277
00:17:25,510 --> 00:17:27,501
Yeah, the guy with the dolls.
278
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,302
Now, listen up, pigs.
279
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:37,105
I want a car to the airport,
I want a plane to Brazil...
280
00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:39,949
...and $50,000 cash.
281
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:42,983
I demand the same thing.
282
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:52,304
And I need more Mountain Dew.
283
00:17:56,230 --> 00:17:59,028
Oh, Lord, I've never been in trouble
with the police before.
284
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:00,219
Yeah, me neither.
285
00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:04,059
Well, except for graduation night
at the academy.
286
00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:07,983
Kelly, there's something
I've been meaning to tell you...
287
00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:10,181
...for several minutes.
288
00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:12,863
You make me feel all funny...
289
00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:16,221
...like my insides turned into
whipped cream.
290
00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:20,949
Well, when I look at you, my--
My legs turn to Jell-O.
291
00:18:21,150 --> 00:18:24,347
You know, whipped cream and Jell-O,
they go real good together.
292
00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:27,269
Oh, you're making me hungry.
293
00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:30,026
Come out with your hands up.
294
00:18:30,790 --> 00:18:33,782
Well, that's it.
I am gonna start offing people.
295
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:37,426
Then you're gonna have to off me first,
Starla, because we're finished.
296
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,268
I don't want a life of crime.
297
00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,426
But you want a life of trash?
298
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:45,748
If that trash's name is Kelly Bundy,
then yes, ma'am, I do.
299
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,745
I love you, Kelly.
300
00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:58,060
You happy now, Peg?
301
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:02,149
You drove both our children
into the arms of criminals.
302
00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:06,338
Well, I just wanted them
to do better than I did.
303
00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:08,469
Lonnie...
304
00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:11,548
...I don't usually say this
fully clothed...
305
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,786
...but I love you too.
306
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:17,145
Oh, well, thank you very much,
blondie.
307
00:19:17,350 --> 00:19:20,706
You made it real easy for me
to decide who's getting it first.
308
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:21,945
Starla, no!
309
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,666
Al's been hit.
310
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,223
Al, say something.
311
00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:38,499
Get out of the way.
312
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:40,029
I know CPR.
313
00:19:40,230 --> 00:19:42,460
I'm fine.
314
00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:45,268
I'm fine.
315
00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:47,665
Oh, Al, we thought you were shot.
316
00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:50,225
Well, I was, Peg.
317
00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:55,061
I think my little lucky shoehorn
must have had a little luck left.
318
00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:00,783
All right, we're here.
319
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:05,825
Sir, please dismount the suspect.
320
00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:09,589
Sir!
321
00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:12,823
- All right.
- Get off!
322
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:14,583
You saved my life.
323
00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:16,826
Move, Dad!
324
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:19,789
Hey, Kelly, who's gonna have...
325
00:20:19,990 --> 00:20:23,027
...the imprint of a shoehorn
in his chest the rest of his life?
326
00:20:23,230 --> 00:20:26,620
Daddy, this is no time for riddles,
okay?
327
00:20:27,070 --> 00:20:28,583
Lonnie almost died.
328
00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:29,825
Let's go, dirtbags.
329
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:31,019
Wait, wait.
330
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:33,940
Can we still be pen pals?
331
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:35,908
Oh, what the hell.
332
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:38,260
Write to me in care of the hole.
333
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,142
Wait, wait!
334
00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:44,229
Kelly, this is not how I dreamt
of this moment.
335
00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:48,067
But neither could I have dreamt
of meeting someone as beautiful...
336
00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:51,342
...and perfect and smart as you.
337
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,388
Kelly Bundy...
338
00:20:53,590 --> 00:20:54,818
...will you marry me?
339
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,586
I thought you'd never ask.
340
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,665
- I'll wait for you.
- I will too, my darling.
341
00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:08,301
No matter whose wife I am in prison,
I'll always be your husband.
342
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:18,665
That is the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.
343
00:21:18,870 --> 00:21:21,828
Oh, Al, our little girl's
getting married.
344
00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:25,028
Isn't life wonderful?
345
00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:27,620
Damn you.
346
00:21:28,305 --> 00:21:34,384
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