All language subtitles for Five.Bedrooms.S02E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

Previously onFive Bedrooms...

The commune is being sold. It
all became a bit of a debacle.

I'm bankrupt and I'm divorced.

I need to get a place
that's better for my daughter.

Plus romantic complications.

I don't want to be
the thing that stops you.

- You deserve to be happy.
- Yeah, but so do you.

Given Mum's current situation,
I have to move back home.

MANJU: You're not gay.

HEATHER: Tying yourself
to that man is insanity.

I know we've got
a complicated past,
but I've put that behind me now.

I'm pregnant. It's yours.

Mel is pregnant too.

You should be
surgically castrated.

AINSLEY: I just want
to get through today
and sell this house!

We are ready to open bidding...

I'm having this baby.

..on this incredible
family home.

You're not gonna do it
on your own.

- Who wants to start me off?
- I'll be on hand
24 hours a day.

- You'll have me too.
- 2.5!

I don't want to lose this house.
These five people.

- Bugger it.
- 2.6.

- The five of us.
- Three times!

- Right here.
- Sold! To the lady on my left.

LIZ: This was not what
I'd imagined for my life.

I mean, being at
another auction, sure,

buying a family home, yes,

but I'd imagined buying it
with a family.

They cut back the shrubbery.
That was a mistake.

I don't mind
seeing out to the street.

Yeah, but you hate the street
seeing back to you.

- Seriously?
- That makes a lot of sense.

I hadn't imagined
my gay best friend,

a middle-aged nurse,
a pregnant woman or a tradie.

- (GASPS EXCITEDLY)
- Uh-uh. No, no, no, no.

Pull yourself together.
Remember, we show no emotion.

OK, we emit an aura
of entitlement
and generational wealth.

Um, obviously, Heather,
you just...

..be yourself.

I'm gonna register.

We'd been apart for months.
We'd looked at 24 open homes.

So I was determined.
Today was the day.

- Hello. It's Anton, is it?
- Yeah.

Hi. I'm Elizabeth Wendell. I'd
like to register to bid today.

Yeah, of course. Have we met?

No, I think you've been dealing
mainly with Ainsley Elling.

Uh, redhead. Pregnant.

Um, excitable almost
to the point of self-injury.

- (BOTH LAUGH)
- No.

Harry Sethi? Heather Doyle?

How many of you are purchasing?

- Oh, five of us. Yeah.
- Ah. OK.

You're a company or...?

Um, more of a collection
of friends or, um...

..a consortium - I'm not quite
sure of the collective noun.

- Maybe a...a mob or a gaggle.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

OK. Wow!

And that works?

So, cot over there
and then the...

..bookshelf and change table
on this side.

No. No.
That's too close to the lounge.

- Isn't that a good thing?
- No.

The feeding chair next to the
window. Or is that too draughty?

What?

Oh, I...I just remember putting
the nursery together for Timmy.

- Course, he never used it.
- What?

Well, he only slept with me.
If he slept at all.

And he wailed if I put him
in the feeding chair

or tried to dress him, so...

..most of the time,
I just cranked the heater up

and let him cruise around naked.

Never left the house.
It was a magical time.

OK, this is it.

Shoulders back.

Any final words?

Are we still 100%
on this place?

What?! Yes, Ben. Yes, we are.

The four-bedroom place
is not an option.

If you just saw it...

Ben, the five of us
are not built for a reno.

And I'm...I'm sorry, but I'm
not interested in a possibility.

We need a reality, you know,
with at least...

..two bathrooms
and central heating.

OK, any other,
less destabilising final words?

Heather, can I just have
my phone back?

- No.
- What's this?

She's infatuated with
my dating app.

I'm just doing a final
assessment of the local talent,

as I would any other aspect
of the surrounds.

We're not gonna judge
this house

based on the abdominal
definition of the neighbours.

- It's looking pretty top-tier.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

Sweet Jesus! We've got
a live one 20 metres away.

OK, I'm gonna do
the final words, OK,

'cause you guys have all
just really let me down.

OK, this has been a long road.
We've been apart
for many months.

But when we go out there,
we are unified.

We feel neither pity nor pain.
Because this is our home.

So let's go out there
like we already own it.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we'll be commencing the auction
momentarily,

so if we could please ensure
that all bidders are registered.

I'm thinking back flank
position, quiet power.

Or should we go
forward and prominent?

Ains? Professional opinion?

Makes absolutely no difference.
We just have to spend
the most money.

- BEN: Oh.
- HEATHER: Psst!

- Harry.
- What?

The 20-metres-away hot guy
is the real estate agent.

What?!

You wouldn't pick it
at first glance, but...

Jesus Christ! Are they implants?

- That's not a real photo.
- I don't know.

That shirt's hanging off him
like no-one's business.

His name's Anton
and we have a match.

Do not tell me
you're swiping right!

I'm just sending a winky face
and a water-splashing emoji.

Oh, my God.
Heather, just give me the phone!

- I can't do that!
- Yes, you can!

- Shh!
- Mate, mate, come on.

You banged on about
all the life you were gonna live
when you came out.

I hate to break it to you, but
you're out, mate. This is it.

- I did not 'bang on' about it.
- You totally did.

If you don't get your rocks off
now, what was the point

of putting yourself
through all that trauma?

- Just give me the...
- You owe it to yourself!

- (HEATHER AND HARRY ARGUE)
- (BABY FUSSES)

- MAN: Is it too late
to register?
- ANTON: No, no, no, no.

- Not at all.
- Fantastic!

- Great.
- Fill that out.

(BABY FUSSES)

Bit of a rush to get here,
but...we're here.

- What? What's wrong?
- Stuart.

That's Liz's ex-husband.

There was no conscious logic
to my sudden bolt.

Certainly no destination.

Nothing made sense.

It hadn't even been a year

since Stuart and I
were declared bankrupt.

How can he be
buying property...

..with a partner?

And a baby?

In the 10 years
we were together,

I'd never even seen Stuart
hold a baby.

- (BABY FUSSES)
- (MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

It's getting a little better.
I mean...you know.

I'm helping with the feeds.

I mean, it's closer to 50/50
now she's off the breast.

WOMAN: You did two night feeds
last month.

(LAUGHS) Well, maybe 60/40.

Every single time it came up...

What about you two?

..he deflected.

Yeah, I'm keen, but, um...that's
really Lizzie's department.

I leave all the important
decisions to her.

When I pushed the point,
he delayed.

Look, if we wait two...
three years tops,

we could actually be
in a position to retire.

Hey, imagine what kind of
parents we could be then.

Stuart, I'm already
considered geriatric.

Yeah, the most attractive
geriatric I've ever seen.

- That's...that's not helping.
- It's helping a little bit.

And when everything
was falling apart,

I wondered if part of him
was actually relieved.

One month.

One month on the ground
in London.

I swear.

This is millions of dollars'
worth of debt.

I know it doesn't feel like it
right now,

but we're still on track for
everything, sweetheart. (KISSES)

He said all the right things.

Look, this is...it's a comma,
not a full stop.

But I honestly didn't believe
he wanted kids.

But clearly...

(DOOR BANGS)

..he just didn't want them
with me.

- Hey. You OK?
- Sorry.

How could he be buying...
a house like that already?

And with a baby?

You alright?

- We missed out. It's gone.
- To Stuart?

Nope. Some smug baby boomer
outbid everyone, again.

And you were
the only one registered.

Oh! God, sorry...

You kept saying if we didn't
lock something in this weekend,

we were basically fucked!

- Heather!
- Well, she did!

You're in your second trimester

and...I'm about three syllables
away from killing Colin.

Whoa, whoa! How...how about
we just take a breath?

Maybe grab a...a quiet beer, get
some chips or a meat platter,

do a bit of a regroup?

- Do you need some time, Liz?
- Oh, no, God. Let's...

Is that the first time
you've seen him since...

The apocalypse? Yeah.

Last time I heard, he was
unemployed and living with
the religious cousin.

And you didn't know
about the kid?

We have zero confirmation
he's anyone's father.

Hey, Heather,
can I have my phone now?

- You're driving.
- What?

AINSLEY: OK.
I'm starting a new spreadsheet.

All our remaining options.

I think that'll make the whole
situation a lot more manageable.

HEATHER:
You are the only person alive

who is comforted
by a spreadsheet.

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- Oh! Hot real estate guy!

(SIGHS) OK. Can we just...

"Shame you left so quickly.

"Should I interpret that
as a lack of interest?"

Does he mean interest in him
or in the house?

- Doesn't matter.
- I think you'll find it does.

Mate, I'd go back with, "Still
very much in the market."

Winky face. Open flame.
Eggplant emoji.

No, no, no, no! Wait! No.

You need to say, um...well,
"If we want to talk real estate,

"maybe let's use emails,
and we can use this
for personal stuff."

No! Jesus! That'll kill it
like a bullet to the head.

Listen to me. Out Loud Harry
lives in the blurry spaces.

- He doesn't shut down
possibilities.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

- Who is 'Out Loud Harry'?
- What'd he say?

Um, "Would love to present you
with some options."

"And I could not be more open
to seeing what you've got
on offer."

- HEATHER: Yes!
- No!

Please, just...
please put it down. God.

- (BABY CRIES)
- STUART: ..give him
this little toy.

LIZ: (GASPS) Oh, my God!

- Oh!
- Is that...

- That's Stuart.
- Oh.

She's driving. Interesting.

- Is it?
- Well, he's on reach-back duty.

You're only on reach-back duty

if you're a competent human
the child trusts.

Colin never got there.

- Harry, follow that car.
- LIZ: What?!

Liz, we all know you're
gonna be in a mental loop

till you get answers,
so let's get answers.

I don't even know
what the questions are!

And we really should
prioritise the schedule.

Some of our options might only
be available this afternoon.

We can spare half an hour for
a bit of light surveillance.

We're just gonna
establish an address

for further
reconnaissance purposes

and then we're outta there.

OK, go. Go.

- A bit further back.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

Oh! Hot real estate guy.

- Oh! Can we just drop...
- Nope. He's come back hard.

"Obviously, I aim to please.
What in particular
are you looking for?"

OK, he's clearly talking
about real estate.

Oh, Harry, there is a long,
sordid history of estate agents

using open homes for
their own, you know, purposes.

No, that is a total
industry cliché.

Yeah, but it's true.

- Hardly ever.
- Thank you.

I would go back with,
"I'm looking for something big,

"something long...term."

Do not write that.

"Looking for
a welcoming central hallway."

OK, can someone just grab
the phone from Heather?

- Just use force if you have to.
- He's turning.

LIZ: No, th-this is too
visible. It's way too visible.

HEATHER: It's fine.

LIZ: How could he have bought
a house like that?

HARRY: We don't know anything.

OK. We're just gonna sit here
for half an hour.

You said we were
just gonna get the address!

First rule of sleuthing -

always stay half an hour longer
than you planned.

Well, does anyone mind
if I return to our unfolding
real estate crisis?

Can't promise I'll listen.

I think there's a few places
we might have rejected hastily.

Uh, there's the house
with the disturbing smell. Hmm?

The house with the wall shade
Heather described as 'bile'.

Or there...I mean,
there is the six-bedroom,

which looks pretty good,
but I've been avoiding it

because it's listed by Lachlan.

- I'll go.
- That's not reassuring.

BEN: At the risk of sounding
like a broken record,

that four-bedder...

Ben, I really think
that we're all in agreement...

Yeah, but if you just saw it.

This wicked space
coming off the garage.

It's got high ceilings,
exposed beams.

OK. He's on the move.

Well, are we following him?

- No!
- HEATHER: Just sit tight.

OK. Ains, grab your folder.
You're with me.

- What?! What are you doing?
- Why am I with you?

Two minutes.
I'll have your answers.

Wait! Wait! Heather!

What i...what is she doing?

Wh-what is she doing?

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Oh, my God.

HARRY: Oh, God.

(KNOCKS)

AINSLEY: What am I
supposed to do?

Don't say anything.
Just follow my lead.

Surely one of us
should say something.

(DOOR OPENS)

HEATHER: Sorry to disturb you.

I'm Heather Fitzpatrick and
this is Ainsley Rapsomanikis.

We're from the council.

Just, uh, completing
routine smoke detector checks.

According to our records, there
are four smoke detectors here.

Is that correct?

- Um, I think so. I'm not sure.
- Well, you mind if we step in?

We're just trying
to settle the baby, so...

(WHISPERS) Happy to whisper.

Oh.

- Oh.
- (DOOR CLOSES)

There's, uh...there's
definitely one in the kitchen.

- Yep, here.
- Right, yep. Yep.

And there's also one...

..here.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

Your, uh, basic, uh,
240-volt BQR model. Mmm.

I just have to confess,

I'm not 100% sure
there's a battery in there.

I think I might have
taken it out.

I'm...I'm so sorry. Every time
I cooked steak, it went off.

- It's fine.
- HEATHER: Can I just get
your name, please?

Uh, Caitlyn Higgins.

Look, uh, Caitlyn.
You seem like a nice kid.

And, you know,
'cause you were up-front,

we're gonna turn a blind eye
this time.

But I'm gonna need you to get
some 9-volt batteries asap,

and I'd, you know, suggest
you get yourself a fan.

I will absolutely do that.
Thank you.

Could I just ask, um...

..how many people...

..live here at the moment?

Uh, just my husband and I
and our son.

And your husband,
he's out at the moment?

Uh, no, he's home.
I'll...I'll just get him.

Can you...

- MAN: Who are these women?
- I don't know.

I think they're from
the council.

MAN: Where?!

Uh, these are smoke detector...

- Checkers.
- ..checkers, from the council.

- MAN: Sorry?
- Uh, just confirming.

It's just the three of you
here, yeah?

- Well...
- Oh.

We...we do have a friend
staying with us at the moment.

- Yeah.
- Um, just temporarily.

A friend of Nick's. He's been
through bit of a rough time.

Aww. That's no good, is it?

Since when do the council have
smoke detector checkers?

(BABY FUSSES)

Should I call...I'm just...
I'm gonna call her.

Good.

Oh, my God!

(STOPS ENGINE)

Oh, God! He's seen me.
He's seen me.

- BEN: It's OK, Lizzie.
- LIZ: How?

STUART: Liz?

What are...

- Hey, Liz.
- Oh!

H-hi...hi, Stuart.

- Harry.
- Hi, Stuart.

Uh, what are you doing here?

HEATHER: I don't know
what to tell you, Nick.

Go to the council website, see
the legislation for yourself.

I'm really sorry
if I've offended you.

Yeah, well, you know what?
That ship's sailed.

I just hope you show
a bit more respect

to the council compost checkers,

'cause they're not
quite as personable as me.

Um...Stuart, these are
my housemates.

This is, uh, Ainsley, Heather,

uh, this is Ben,
and...and you know Harry.

Liz, this is, uh, Caitlyn.

She's Stuart's friend.
Just his friend.

He's just staying with her
and her husband temporarily.

- Sorry, you know Stuart?
- Are you all from the council?

STUART: The council?!

This is Liz.

CAITLYN: Oh,
that's who you mean.

- Liz.
- Did you think...
Caitlyn and I were...

(LAUGHS)

Hey...

I've been trying to contact you
for months.

You know that, right? You didn't
read any of the emails?

I've been kind of busy, Stuart.

Look, they all pretty much said
the same thing.

I just want an opportunity
for us to...talk.

Just for an hour.

Tomorrow?

- OK.
- OK.

Sorry, sorry.

The boys swore
they were going out

and they ended up playing
some video game.

Mass Murder on a Beach
or something.

- Hello.
- Oh...

OK.

- (SIGHS) Come on!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

We gonna be sneaking around
like this forever?

- Not if we get a new house, no.
- And wait. Wait.

So when we get this new joint,

what are you thinkin', that
we'll...we'll share a room?

Is this about the four-bedder?
'Cause you know that's...

- No, no, no. Aside from that.
- OK.

I'm...I'm up for it.

I'm more than up for it. I'm
keen. I want to wake up with ya.

Oh.

- You're not with me?
- Oh, no, no. You know.

Of course I want
to wake up with you.

It's...it's just, you know...
it's just bigger than that.

Bigger than what?

You don't know
what people say about us.

People don't say anything,

'cause we're always doing
this bloody sneaking around.

Want to know what I would say
if I saw us?

Yeah. What...
what would you say?

"Who does she think she is?
Old enough to be his mother.

- "That kid's in his prime."
- Oh, that's not...

"He should be out breeding.

"He's obviously got mummy issues

"or he's a...he's a bit,"
you know, "simple."

(LAUGHS) That's a bit harsh.

Look, I am a simple fella,

but I'm all clear
on the mummy issues,

and I just think...I mean...

..this spark...

..would have been there
any time,

when we were teenagers,
old people, whenever.

When I was 18, you were...

- Oh...
- ..how...how old were you?

What I'm saying is... (SIGHS)

Jesus!

You were three, Ben.
You were three years old.

I wasn't meaning literally.

I was meaning, like, if
magically I can transport us...

Yeah, OK. Alright. Yep. Yep.
Just...just give me a sec.

What was your favourite song
when you were 18?

(SIGHS) Going Down
by the Cosmic Psychos.

Cosmic Psychos, yeah.

Yeah, me too.

- Bullshit.
- It was.

Let's see if I can't
dig it up here.

- You've never heard it.
- Shh.

Shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.

(BASS RIFF PLAYS)

Oh, yeah. This was
their first bass player.

He quit.

Five years in,
he's kicking himself.

(COSMIC PSYCHOS
SING INDISTINCTLY)

(BEN MOUTHS WORDS)

This is the first time
you've heard this song.

Shush! I love it.

(SINGS ALONG)

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

It's a limerick. It's a limerick
rhyme scheme. I used to know it.

(SINGS INDISTINCTLY)

(HEATHER LAUGHS)

(TRAIN HORN HONKS)

LIZ: The next morning,

my housemates were all
back on the hunt,

all of them pushing forward.

But I found myself
staring at my past.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Uh... (LAUGHS)
- No, it's...

Mwah!

So, thanks for meeting with me.

Uh, here's pretty good,

or, uh, there are a couple
of decent cafes further up.

Uh...

..first dilemma.

Obviously, I should
buy you lunch.

But at the moment, my budget
kind of lends itself to...

..a couple of McValue Meals

or perhaps fish and chips
in the park.

Uh, there's fish and chips
further up.

- On the corner.
- Great.

- HEATHER: You ready?
- Yeah.

Oh! You lost the place
that you wanted?

- Yes.
- No.

We did.

But we like the look of this
one. Do you have a brochure?

Could we have a word
in private, please?

Lachlan, I already know
what you're gonna say.

- You've said it several times.
- You're running late.

You need to open up.

Uh, I have almost
seven minutes, Heather.

And I'm not legally allowed
on the property

before the allotted time.

- That's bullshit.
- Standard practice, actually.

Why don't you pull up
the Constitution of Australia

and show me where it says that?

Ainsley, I'm telling you, this
is not the place that you want.

It is wall-to-wall concrete
floors. It's just a deathtrap!

Look, if you just saw
my new place.

The only step down is
into the sunken lounge,

which is a shag carpet -
it's perfect for a newborn.

Don't you want our baby
to grow up with its father
over four randoms?

What I want is for you to do
your job and open up this house.

Fine. I'll bring the opening
forward, then, shall I?

For the sake of those
who refuse to live

within the boundaries
of Australian law.

I'll just break the law myself.

Yeah.

(OPENS GATE)

I hate to admit it,
but he's right.

Concrete floors are a deathtrap.

The kid would need
a safety helmet. Come on.

Well...

(SIGHS)

STUART: Do you remember
our macrobiotic era?

LIZ: I do.

I remember our Paleo era.
Organic. 5:2.

I pretty much exist on
what we ate at uni -

tinned fruit and baked beans.

- Oh.
- Well...obviously not together.

One thing is for sure - I will
never pay 80 bucks for goat's
cheese again. (LAUGHS)

LIZ: That look.

I lost a decade to that look.

So, your...

..living situation, they're...
they're Harry's friends, right?

Kind of. (CLEARS THROAT)

We, um...we all met
at Harry's cousin's wedding.

Right. But it's good, yeah?

I mean, it's...

..complicated, but...

..it's also kind of lovely.

You think in some...

..stupid, fucked-up way
that it was just meant to be?

No, Stuart. No, I don't.

I was humiliated.

Sorry. That was
a poor choice of words.

I-I lost my career
because of you.

I lost all my clients.
I was...I was...

Marched out of the firm.
I know.

You had to borrow off Harry
and take an office job.

Well...

..you weren't returning
my emails, but...

..I was kind of keeping tabs.

Look.

The main reason
that I needed to talk to you...

..is that... (SIGHS)

..I can't stop thinking...

..that I really pushed us
to delay having kids.

And it wasn't deliberate,

but it happened,
and I let it happen.

I just want to tell you, I am...

..so sorry.

And I realise that saying that,

it's probably worse
than not saying anything at all.

I...I just...

..I'm just sor...sorry.

OK.

So, I don't know what's going on
with you personally

and whether...

..motherhood is still something
you see in you...

Obviously, I understand there's
nothing between us anymore,

but I remember the plans.

I know we've got...

..things frozen, embryos.

So, Liz, if you wanted
to use that without me,

I wouldn't stand in your way.

Hang...hang on. Wait. Wait.

Have...our baby without you?

Oh, I don't know.

I'm sorry if it sounds
ridiculous or if it's painful.

I just had to say it.

Because I can't bear the thought

of costing you any more
than I already have.

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- Oop! Hello, sailor.

He's written,
"Front door is open.

"Let yourself in.
Meet me inside."

OK.

We're clearly walking into
a deeply sexual situation here,

and I'm not about to be
the third wheel,

so I'll see you
at the four-bedder

at 3:15, if you make it.

Ben, those are
simple instructions

for entering an open home.

That is a person
who intends to be

sprawled naked in broad daylight
when you arrive,

and... (LAUGHS)
..all power to him.

Oh, God.

Am I ready for that? I just...

..I don't know if I'm built
for sudden sexual adventure.

Guess the question is,
do you want to be?

Uh, no... Ben!

(SIGHS)

Hello?

Anton?

WOMAN: And this kind of
yard space is incredibly rare.

It's been in the same family
for generations...

Oh. Excuse me.
Uh, can I help you at all?

Uh, I was meeting Anton.

Oh! Janelle, this is Mr Sethi.
I mentioned him earlier.

Looking for the five-bedder
plus nursery.

Would you mind
giving him the tour?

Yeah, absolutely.
Uh, Janelle Belle.

Anton tells me you're looking
for a long central passage.

I think you'll find
that this will not disappoint.

I-is that correct or...?

Oh, yeah...yes.
It wasn't a prerequisite.

Great.
Um, so, let's head outside.

We're just gonna go and have
a look at this wonderful yard.

Actually, there's a garden
setting out there,
be more comf...

- No, no, let me see it.
- Um...

This is a...a literal garage.

- Yeah.
- (BOTTLES CLINK)

It's just...

..I...I thought it was
Stuart-speak

for 'stylish apartment
adjacent to garage'.

No, no. I live with a distinct
smell of brake fluid.

How...how long have you
been here?

About, uh, six months or so.

Um...Nick's been really great,
actually.

Lets me stay here in exchange
for being his PA or...

..nanny or...whatever I am.

So this is where you imagine

Stuart Jr would come
on weekends?

Yeah. Least for the first year.

Kidding.

To be honest, you know...

..I kind of feel
we both got caught up

in that whole "let's find
the perfect family home" thing.

- 'We'? That was you, Stuart.
- No.

- That was both of us.
- That was 100% you.

Look.

I'm willing to accept
all other charges,

but you were addicted
to realestate.com.

Oh, I was happy
in the Camberwell place.

That was you that convinced me
that we could do better.

The first night
in the Brighton house

in the garden,
in that swing seat,

you turned to me
and you actually said this -

"People who say money doesn't
buy happiness, they're wrong."

(LAUGHS)
That was clearly a joke.

- No, it wasn't.
- OK, it wasn't.

In fact,
you'd never been happier.

Still haven't.

- (PHONE RINGS)
- I've got to...

Yes! I have to get this.

Hello?

OK, I was an idiot. Ben
and Heather are also idiots.

The man just wanted
to show me a house.

- Oh, God.
- Yeah, there are
other buyers here.

And another agent.

This is the least sexual
situation anyone's ever been in.

- Oh.
- How'd you go with Stuart?

- Oh, still going.
- OK. Quick headlines?

Oh, he's just...suggesting

that I unfreeze our embryos
and have our baby. (LAUGHS)

- What?!
- Yeah.

Have a baby, with him?

I think...I think he means
more like a gift.

- What?!
- Yeah.

Are you tempted?

No.

- You hesitated.
- No, no.

That wasn't hesitation.
That was umbrage. I'm leaving.

Um, I'll...I'll meet you
at Ben's open house.

OK. Do you want me to call you
one more time?

No. I'm literally
walking out now.

- Coffee? Tea? Cask wine?
- (LAUGHS)

I don't think adding alcohol
to this equation
would be a good idea.

And I...I've got to go.

I'm on a brutal
house-hunting schedule, so...

Before you do...um...

..I've had this drawn up,
in legal-speak.

And I've signed it...

..for you to take.

You might never use it, but...

..basically, it gives up
all my paternal rights.

- I'm...I'm...I don't want it.
- Just take it, as an option.

Stuart, I'm never gonna have
our child without you.

Things change. One day,
you might want to have a...

- Stuart, I'm never gonna do it.
- Oh, I don't know.
Burn it, then!

If...if I did this...

..you would always be
part of my life.

And I...I still...

(SIGHS)

Sorry. I, uh...I thought
if I came here and I...

..I saw you one last time
and you apologised

and I yelled at you and I saw
how shit your life is now,

I'd be...

..released.

But...

Honestly, all...all I wanted to
do was the right thing by you.

- That's all.
- (LAUGHS)

Well, if you want to do
the right thing by me, just...

I...I know. Uh...uh, I get it.

- (SIGHS)
- I'm sorry.

Thanks for hearing me out.

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- (SIGHS)

Heading off?

Oh, yeah.
It's a...a lovely property.

But I think maybe not the one
for me. Or for us.

Anything in particular you were
after that I didn't offer you?

Uh...uh, no. I-I think...I...

Sorry.

I don't know if I misread
the situation, but...

..the way you were messaging me,
I thought maybe today was...

- Sorry. I gotta go.
- No, no.

I...thought I was making
my position pretty clear,

but then your answers got
so formal,

I just thought,
"OK. He's not into it."

But...you are?

Wait here.

Janelle, this isn't the one
for Mr Sethi,

so I'll run him through
some other options

and finish up here if you want
to head back to the office.

JANELLE: Oh, lovely.
Has Mr Sethi seen
the Shelley Street property?

ANTON: Good thought.
Thanks, Janelle.

- It's OK?
- Uh, yeah.

It's alright. I got it.

- (LAUGHS)
- Whoa.

- You OK?
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Can we maybe just slow it down?

The owners will be home
in an hour, so...

OK. Alright.

Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

Sorry.

- Still too fast?
- (PANTS)

I don't want it to be,
but...but...yeah, it is.

- I'm sorry.
- No, don't be. That's alright.

I think I-I'm maybe not a...

.."have sex in someone else's
home with a complete stranger"
kind of guy.

Yeah.

Maybe you're more of a "have
a drink, maybe a bite to eat,
ease into it" kind of guy.

I do want to be impulsive
and wild, but I...

(SIGHS)

..I think my soul is already

a timid, slightly terrified
late-50s man.

I actually really respect that.

You're very sweet.

But I'm very much
a hook-up guy. Sorry.

Oh. No. Of cour...of course.

(LAUGHS) That's...
fair enough. Fair enough.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Any interest in viewing the
Shelley property at all, though?

Oh, uh...uh, no.
Thank you, but...

Yeah, cool.

Might just get you to stand up.
Sorry.

LIZ: After months
of meticulous planning,

strategising and house hunting,

it had taken me 15 minutes

to throw my life
into total disarray.

Oh, Jesus.

Um, I...I've gotta go.

I've got four people
waiting for me and I...

..exploded our best option
yesterday, so...

..I don't have a lot of credit.

So, was that, like,
the last hurrah?

Or...can I call you later?

I'll call you.

- (DOOR OPENS)
- Bye.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Uh, you need the remote.

- Oh.
- Just use this one.

Oh. Thank you. Thanks.

It's, um...
it's very generous of you to...

..have a house guest
when you've got a newborn.

To be honest,
I think Maxie likes him

better than either of us.

- (LAUGHS)
- Seriously.

Stuart was the only thing
between us and total chaos

those first months.

Thanks.

HEATHER: Where is she?

HARRY: Just...can we just give
her, like, five more minutes?

HEATHER: Come on!

- I'll just call her again.
- Oh...

- I'm so sorry for
keeping you all waiting.
- Lizzie.

- HEATHER: You alright?
- Should we get inside or...

Oh, Lizzie, I would dearly love
to go the full group pitch here.

- Well, we don't have much time.
- I know.

But you have mentioned the idea
of a reno makes you feel crook

a couple of times now, and I'd
just like the opportunity

to give you the big picture,
tell you what I'm seeing.

Well, can you give us the big
picture in five minutes or less?

Alright. Follow me.

Uh, where are you?

Uh, no simple answer
to that question right now.

OK. OK.

So, what I want us all to do

is to imagine Ainsley,
actually, a year from now.

Ains, I'm just gonna need
a temp name for the kid.

I don't want to reveal
my favourite names just yet.

It's alright - for the purposes
of this exercise,

we'll just run with Benny Jr.

So it's 2021. Alright?

- Ainsley and little BJ are...
- Evie.

That was my mum's name.
Um, if she's a girl.

Alright. So Ainsley's rocking up
with little Evie on the hip.

And she's walking past...

..awesome established gardens.

Could use a bit more colour,
but that's easy fixed.

Follow me.

Every time Evie gets home,
boom, she's straight into...

..a living area,

filled with all her uncles
and aunties, spiritual figures,

standing by ready to cough up
advice, cash, tenners, whatever.

And I'll tell you what,
if they're not in here,

they'll be out here.

Nice kitchen.

It's pretty big.

Actually, you know what, Ains?

I could drill a spot right here

for Evie to sit, on the bench,
so she can watch us.

Or we could just buy
a highchair.

Ooh, yeah, mate.
This is where she'll perch.

She'll have a bird's-eye view
of Aunty Lizzie on the blender,

making juices out of stuff
that scares the crap out of me.

But...you wait till you see
out the back.

Come on.

Ooh.

Ains and Evie's room.

Eh? Now, you gotta
use your imagination.

But just imagine...

..polished floorboards...

..skylight...

..and big beautiful French doors
opening out onto the decking,

aka outdoor
chill-out/dining area.

And this...this will be the hub.

So every night,
little Evie will...

..go to sleep hearing
all her uncles and aunties,

all the chatter, all of us,
talking about our days and...

..figuring out the universe.

Ains, you look like
you're stressing out,

and I know there's
a ton of work to be done...

No. Is it possible that I could
feel the baby move this early?

Could be.

I think...
I just got butterflies.

- Oh, can I?
- Yeah, yeah.

(LAUGHS)

AINSLEY: Whoa!
Did you feel that?

- BEN: Yeah... Did you get it?
- HARRY: I don't think so.

BEN: There it is. There it is.

- (AINSLEY LAUGHS)
- HEATHER: Come on!

BEN: No. Well,
I think we can say...

Do not say this is a sign.
'Cause it's not.

If Evie got a vote,
all I'm saying is I reckon
I know where she'd stand.

- (SIGHS)
- AINSLEY: Liz?

(DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE)

Uh, just FYI,

Liz's ex kind of just put
the idea of them having a baby

back on the table.

Jesus!

BEN: (SIGHS) Oh, well.

On the upside, if Lizzie does
bail and get back with her ex,

you've dodged a bullet.

You won't have to
shack up with me.

Look, If you'd asked me
a year ago if I wanted to...

..cohabit with another man...

..I would have laughed you
out of the room.

(CHUCKLES)

But here we are.

We're in the room...

..and I'm looking at you.

And I want to wake up with you.

Yeah?

Yeah.

(LAUGHS)

I mean, you know.

You'll want to keep
that extra room on stand-by,

'cause I'm not a morning person.

There's a 5:30am version of me
you will not be able to unsee.

HARRY: You OK?

We should go.

I just...I need to say
something.

Just, uh, before we do.

Look, I have no idea
what happened today.

I mean, it's...

..it's pretty clear
there was sex

and God knows
what other upheavals.

But, um...

..if having a baby really is
something that you want,

I just...I hope you don't feel
like Stuart is your only option.

- Because he's not, and...
- Harry.

..I know we used to joke about
having...a gayby, but, um...

I mean, Daddy Harry
could not be any more inept

than Out and Loud Harry, and...

I love you.

I-I always thought that if...

..I got the opportunity
to have a baby...

..I'd do it.

You know, I'd drop everything
and I'd do it.

Because if I didn't...

..I'd regret it forever.

But I'm here now and...

..I've got the opportunity...

..and I don't think I want it.

Maybe I'm not meant to be a mum.

(RINGING TONE)

- STUART: Hey.
- Hey.

Is now a bad time?

No. No.

Where are you? Do you want me
to come and get you?

No, no. I just, um...

..I just wanted to let you know
that I...I really...

..I appreciate
everything you said today,

and that I...I do know that...

..the offer was genuine.

I mean, not terribly well
thought out or executed.

(LAUGHS) But, um...

..I can see that you've grown.

Well...thank you.
That actually means a lot.

But I have too.

And, um...

..the situation that I'm in,

I never would have chosen,
and I'm...

..I'm a long way
from comfortable,

but we've just found
a new home for ourselves and...

..it is where I want to be.

There is still something
between us, Liz.

And there probably
always will be.

But we missed our time.

You know, for what it's worth,
one of the reasons I married you

was 'cause I thought you'd be
an incredible father.

And...

..I really hope
you get a shot at it.

It just won't be with me.

Bye.

Liz... (SIGHS)

Next time onFive Bedrooms...

- Look who's just dropped in.
- Xavier's my nephew.

- (LAUGHTER)
- Terrific stuff.

Do you think I'm a wanker
if I post this as my
pregnancy announcement?

This is your moment
with your baby.

You can share it
however you like.

"Shame, shame, shame on you,
you home-wrecking whore."

My stepmother called to let me
know she'd seen the comments.

- No!
- Yes.

- Very much so.
- Oh, my God!

What the fuck are you
doing here?