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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played
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00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:07,906
♪ Songs that made the hit parade
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00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:11,042
♪ Guys like us, we had it made
4
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:13,545
♪ Those were the days
5
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,981
♪ And you knew
where you were then
6
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:20,352
♪ Girls were girls
and men were men
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00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,587
♪ Mister, we could use a man
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00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:25,891
♪ Like Herbert Hoover again
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00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,660
♪ Didn't need no welfare state
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00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,897
♪ Everybody pulled his weight
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♪ Gee, our old LaSalle ran great
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♪ Those were the days ♪
13
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,463
Will you quit pushin' me here?
14
00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:56,666
Hurry it up, will you?
This thing is heavy.
15
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,123
Oh, come on, will you?
16
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,625
Ten years ago when I
carried that up to Gloria's room,
17
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I carried it up alone
and I didn't complain.
18
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:07,477
And it was heavier then before youse
two pounded the stuffings out of it.
19
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:11,581
How come I'm carryin' a mattress,
and you're carryin' a pillow?
20
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,485
You want the pillow? Here.
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00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,310
Honey, let me
help you with that.
22
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No, no, little girl,
get away from that.
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You ain't supposed to be
doin' nothin' in your condition.
24
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,249
Oh, Daddy, please
don't say condition.
25
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:27,752
You make it sound like I got
the heartbreak of psoriasis.
26
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,721
I don't have a
condition. I'm pregnant.
27
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:33,658
No, don't say that. Can't
you say you're expectin'?
28
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Jeez, pregnant sounds
like you've done somethin'.
29
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We did.
30
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Well, you don't have to
go advertisin' it to the world.
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What you do in the privates of
your own room is your own privates.
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See, when I was a little girl and
a woman was starting to show,
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00:01:56,316 --> 00:02:00,084
they used to say she was
expectin' a bundle from heaven.
34
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:03,455
But of course everybody
knew it was really a baby.
35
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,358
Well, I wish we could
get back to them days.
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What this world needs is
a little more of that class.
37
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,508
Well, herein before, when we
talk about Gloria's condition now,
38
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,510
we're just gonna say
she's... she's expectin'.
39
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,835
Or in a family way?
40
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,804
Or with child.
41
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,939
How do you feel
about knocked up?
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00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:40,625
How would you like
to be knocked out?
43
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,294
Boy, Daddy, have you
got a hang-up about words.
44
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:46,832
Yeah, and it's amazing
considering how few he knows.
45
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That's the end of
your coffee break.
46
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Come on, grab that mattress.
47
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Let's get it out of here
before it takes root.
48
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:52,115
- Okay.
49
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,499
I got to get down to Kelcy's
and watch the Mets play ball.
50
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,385
I'll hold the door for you.
Get the door open there.
51
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:57,976
You got your end? Yeah.
52
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Turn around and face the
other way. Oh, I'm facin' you
53
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,813
to make sure you
hold that end up there.
54
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,393
Get out of the way, Edith.
Ma, Ma. Get out of the way.
55
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:07,152
Get out... Get out
of the way, Edith.
56
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:11,968
Get it out. Get it out. Yeah.
57
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,870
All right, all right,
now, you got it straight?
58
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,138
Yeah. All right, all right.
59
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,842
From here on it's
clear sailing. Come on.
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00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:26,571
I told you, Edith, to get them
garbage cans to the curb.
61
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,108
Poor Daddy. With Michael out of
the house, who's he got to pick on?
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00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,277
Oh, he's still got me.
63
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,280
Yeah, and he's lucky.
64
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:38,683
Oh, no, I'm the
lucky one, Gloria.
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00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:42,888
And we was both
lucky we got you.
66
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,455
Oh, my.
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00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:49,160
You know, I'm thinkin' of a
song Jimmy Durante used to sing.
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00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,063
Inka Dinka Doo?
69
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:55,200
No, no, not that one.
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00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:59,171
♪ Did you ever have the
feelin' that you wanted to go
71
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,874
♪ But still you got the
feelin' that you wanted to stay
72
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,676
♪ Ha, cha, cha ♪
73
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,651
Oh, Ma.
74
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,021
See, I'm glad that you're
movin' into your own home
75
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:20,725
but still I got the feelin'
that I want you to stay.
76
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,128
Well, you knew I had
to move out sometime.
77
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:28,066
Oh, yeah, but sometimes
sometime comes too soon.
78
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,635
Gloria, there's
somethin' of yours
79
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:34,672
I hope you won't want
to take away with you.
80
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,143
That's my old cereal bowl.
81
00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:40,323
With Brownie The
Clownie on the bottom.
82
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,314
Yeah.
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00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:46,251
Now I've been savin' that bowl
for when my granddaughter is here
84
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,019
and I'm your babysitter.
85
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,088
Well, then, Ma,
you should keep it.
86
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:52,390
Oh, thanks, Gloria.
87
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:56,561
Oh, it's gonna be such a
treat for me to put farina
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00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,896
in this bowl.
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00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:03,735
And say, "Open
wide and let it slide.
90
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:10,208
- "Brownie The Clownie..."
- "Will no longer hide."
91
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:13,022
That was a trick to get me
to eat, wasn't it? Oh, yeah.
92
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:16,948
You got to do a lot of
things to make babies eat.
93
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,617
Make funny faces.
94
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:22,320
Like this one was always
good for two spoonfuls.
95
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,892
And this one was
good for six spoonfuls.
96
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,897
Oh, look, it still
works. You're eatin'.
97
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:38,003
Oh, and this one was
good for a whole meal.
98
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,648
Get the big hormone
pill. She's changin' again.
99
00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:55,754
No, I was just showin'...
Never mind that.
100
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,189
You know what's goin' on
over there in your new house?
101
00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:59,758
There's nothin' turned on.
102
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:02,026
No gas, no electric,
no water. No problem.
103
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,195
Oh, no problem. You're
gonna freeze over there,
104
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,997
you're gonna starve over there
105
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:09,506
and without no water, your toilet's
just another chair with a hole in it.
106
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:15,640
Daddy... Yes... No...
Michael, come here.
107
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:19,077
Wasn't Wednesday the day
that you called the utilities people
108
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:22,380
to tell them that we wouldn't be
able to be in the house until Saturday
109
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:25,450
to let them in. So they're
sending a man today?
110
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:30,488
And he's not gonna be there
because you forgot to call? Right?
111
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,423
I forgot. Oh.
112
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:33,758
Ain't he darling?
113
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,261
He'd forget his head
if his teeth wasn't in it.
114
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,407
Michael. Uh, will
you stop ridin' me?
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00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,210
You stop bein' a jackass.
116
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,868
You forget to turn on the
gas, the water, the electricity.
117
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:46,404
The only thing you remember
to turn on is my daughter.
118
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,753
You couldn't even
remember to... I can't believe...
119
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:54,379
What've we got here?
The Three Musketells?
120
00:06:56,816 --> 00:07:00,085
Archie, there ain't
no harm done. Oh.
121
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:03,288
This means we got 'em for
two more days. Ain't that nice?
122
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,935
"Two more days.
Ain't that nice?"
123
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,093
I think it stinks.
124
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:11,341
And I'll tell you somethin' else. I ain't
gonna carry that mattress back over here.
125
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:13,042
You don't have to.
We'll sleep on the couch.
126
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:17,435
Oh, no, Gloria, you
can sleep in our bed.
127
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:21,606
The four of us in one
bed like a bunch of bears?
128
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,654
All because that dumbbell
forgets to make some phone calls?
129
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,077
You stop calling him names.
130
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,590
You stop stickin' up for him.
131
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,025
And you stop tellin'
her what to do.
132
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,360
You stop talkin' to me at all.
133
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:34,397
I'll tell you somethin'. I was tellin' her
what to do long before you married her.
134
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,732
And remember this, a wife
can always divorce her husband,
135
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,790
but she can't
divorce her father.
136
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,238
And you remember a daughter
can always leave her father
137
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,340
and go next door to her
own home with her husband.
138
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,529
Come on, Gloria.
139
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:46,809
Why should she go
over there with you?
140
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,499
I can take better
care of her here.
141
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,245
What're you sayin', I
can't take care of her?
142
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:51,669
I got the gas and electric here.
143
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,371
I know you got the gas.
144
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,843
You are being silly now.
There's nothin' silly about it.
145
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,824
Listen to me. I bet if the three of
us was on the Staten Island Ferry
146
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:03,358
and you fell into
the water there,
147
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,094
now which one is
going to save you there?
148
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,918
Oh, my, if I was there...
149
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,827
Who put you on the ferry?
150
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,390
Well, me. I'm the
one that'd save you.
151
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:13,870
Well, I... I'd save her, Arch.
152
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,304
Well, you could...
You'd forget to swim.
153
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,540
I'd be overboard before
you got your clothes off.
154
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,576
I'd have that hat off and that
cigar out. I'd be right there...
155
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,377
I don't think I've ever seen you
swim. Do you know how to swim?
156
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,012
I swim like a frog. I've never
seen you in a bathing suit.
157
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,081
Billions of people seen me in a
bathing suit. Oh, you're crazy...
158
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,550
You see what would happen?
While you were on the deck arguing,
159
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:30,441
I'd be on the bottom of the bay.
160
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,388
To hell with that.
What about the zoo?
161
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,491
Suppose the three of us are
going to the Bronx Zoo together.
162
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,313
Can I be in this one?
163
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,926
You are in this one.
You're in a dingbat cage.
164
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,363
All right, we're
goin' through the zoo
165
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,077
and a hungry, ferocious tiger jumps
over the fence and goes right for you.
166
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,168
Oh, Daddy, knock it off.
167
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:59,348
Now come on. Quit putting me on
the spot with these stupid questions.
168
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:03,274
I love you in one way, and I
love Michael in another way.
169
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:04,542
Case closed.
170
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,946
And that's the way it always is.
171
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,615
What?
172
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:14,285
You see, Archie, I love you
the way Gloria loves Mike.
173
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,787
And I love my father
174
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,690
the way Gloria loves you.
175
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:22,360
Yes. And my mother
loved my father
176
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:24,529
the way I love you,
177
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:27,999
and Mike loves Gloria the
way my father loved my mother.
178
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:32,304
And Gloria loves Mike the
way my mother loved my father.
179
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,771
Are you all done?
180
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,272
No.
181
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,941
Oh, jeez.
182
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,476
See, all I want to say is that
183
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:43,181
children don't have to
choose between the people
184
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,217
they are married to and
the people they was born to.
185
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,820
And all I'm tryin' to say is that my
daughter wouldn't have to go over there
186
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:51,822
and live in miscomfort
187
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:55,011
if that dumb Polack hadn't
forgot to turn on the utilities.
188
00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,664
Excuse me.
189
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:06,237
You know the first time you called me a
dumb Polack, I was really very sore at you?
190
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,872
Yeah. Why?
191
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,944
But after a while, I
learned to shrug it off
192
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,013
with all the rest of
your stupid remarks.
193
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:19,417
But now, Arch, I'm
happy to announce
194
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:22,432
that you just called me
dumb Polack for the last time.
195
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:23,599
You hear what I'm sayin'?
196
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,758
The last time,
that's it. No more!
197
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,539
I've been waitin' five
long years for this, Arch!
198
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:33,130
For five years, I've been waitin' to
leave this house and waitin' to leave you,
199
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:36,835
you loud-mouthed, narrow-minded,
selfish, bigoted, fat-head!
200
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,671
This is Michael Stivic's
independence day, pal!
201
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,606
And this here is my flag!
202
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,043
Goodbye.
203
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:52,517
Hey, wait a minute, buddy.
204
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:55,085
You didn't give me a
chance to salute that flag.
205
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,928
Daddy, that was disgusting.
206
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,231
No, it wasn't. Considerin'
what he done to me,
207
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,580
I think it was
highly aproblactic.
208
00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:12,715
No, no, you ain't goin'
over there, little girl.
209
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:13,972
I am not your little girl.
210
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,607
I am Michael's pregnant
wife. Don't say that.
211
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,355
Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant,
pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. Oh, come on.
212
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,213
I'm not staying here unless
you go apologize to him.
213
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,183
Apologize? Archie Bunker
don't apologize to nobody.
214
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,830
Honey, do you know what
she's asking me to... You hold it.
215
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,465
Now if you don't
apologize to him,
216
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,067
he'll never come back here.
217
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,969
Good, good. And if he
never comes back here,
218
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,603
I'll never come back here.
219
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:37,061
Archie, you better
tell him you're sorry.
220
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:40,231
Oh, forget it, Ma. He's never
said "I'm sorry" in his whole life.
221
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,700
I did once. The day
you married that guy.
222
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:46,570
Oh.
223
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,276
Goodbye, Mother.
224
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,447
Oh, Gloria, don't...
225
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,588
Don't give me that...
226
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:09,727
You ain't got no control over
the goings-on in this house.
227
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:12,763
Sometimes I get jealous of
these guys that have sons.
228
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,466
Sons never turn on fathers.
229
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,702
But daughters marry meatheads.
230
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,207
After what you just
let happen here,
231
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:25,743
I ain't so sure who
married a meathead,
232
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,879
Gloria or me.
233
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,073
We're in luck, honey.
234
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,875
I found us some sardines
and crackers for dinner.
235
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,222
And you know what
we got for dessert?
236
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,413
What? Crumbs.
237
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:06,350
Come on, honey. Cheer up.
238
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,753
Isn't this terrific in here?
239
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,756
Michael, this is
our very own home.
240
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:14,291
Honey, this is your
very own living room.
241
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,062
And if you choose, Mr. Stivic,
this is your very own front door.
242
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,899
And this, over here, is
your very own window.
243
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:25,336
Come on, honey. We
can do anything we want.
244
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:29,473
We can do what we want,
where we want, when we want.
245
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:34,450
Yeah, we can do anything except
cook, read, or go to the bathroom.
246
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:39,583
Or keep warm. I'm freezing.
247
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,221
Oh, honey, let me keep
you warm, poopsie-doodle.
248
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:44,889
Here, I got your
favorite blankey.
249
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:48,671
Here, honey. Yeah.
250
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,095
Now, you're warmer here? Yeah.
251
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,999
Isn't this better than sittin'
over there with Daddy? Yeah.
252
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,703
Oh, Michael, I was just so proud
of you when you stood up to my dad
253
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:01,384
and said, "This is Michael
Stivic's independence day."
254
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:05,076
Yeah, I freed us from a hot
meal and a good night's sleep.
255
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:12,049
Well, honey, cheer up. I know
my father. He likes to act tough.
256
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:15,820
But when he thinks about what he's
done and realizes he was wrong...
257
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:17,555
What?
258
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,124
He'll send Ma over to apologize.
259
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,627
You wanna play tent?
260
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:23,696
Why not?
261
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:33,237
Here I am, Edith.
Whoop-dee-doo! Whoop-dee-doo!
262
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:34,939
Whoop-dee-doo.
263
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:38,163
What a lousy whoop-dee-doo.
264
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,878
Edith, Edith!
265
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:44,715
I won on a ballgame. The Mets
beat them San Diego Padres.
266
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:48,619
I got some money. I ran out
and look what I bought us here.
267
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:51,856
A beautiful hunk
of sirloin. Archie!
268
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:55,059
That's big enough
for four people.
269
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:58,462
You must have been
thinkin' of Mike and Gloria.
270
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:02,867
No, I wasn't. They never
even re-entered my mind, Edith.
271
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:04,881
As long as you
bring it up, I'll...
272
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,416
All right. They're welcome
to join us for this steak here.
273
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,986
All they got to do is to
come back with an "I'm sorry"
274
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,609
and a bottle of ketchup.
275
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,157
And if they don't wanna do that,
276
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,749
then I don't wanna talk
no more about them two.
277
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,550
Them three.
278
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:23,388
Your grandchild is in
that cold house, too.
279
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,976
Well, Gloria's wrapped
around him keepin' him warm.
280
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,762
And if I know the Meathead,
he's wrapped around Gloria.
281
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:37,134
As far as he's concerned, I
don't care if he freezes his butt off.
282
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,305
They need us now,
and I'm goin' over there.
283
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:44,420
Oh, Edith. Hold it,
hold it. I forbid that.
284
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,143
You can't stop me.
285
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:47,656
Edith, Edith, you
ain't goin' over there.
286
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,127
This is your house. You
ain't a Stivic, you're a Bunker.
287
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,017
Well, I'm sorry, Archie,
288
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:57,021
but motherhood is
stronger than Bunkerhood.
289
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,931
If my dead father heard
you say that, it'd kill him.
290
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,575
I'll eat steak till I bust.
291
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,752
Hi, Gloria.
292
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,488
Yoo-hoo. It's me.
293
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,823
Oh, excuse me.
294
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:36,338
Yeah, Ma, we were
just tryin' to keep warm.
295
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:38,028
Oh, oh.
296
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:41,110
Well, here's your coat,
Mike. Oh, thanks, Ma.
297
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:44,535
I brought your warm sweater,
Gloria. Oh, thanks, Ma.
298
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:47,371
And I brought us
some hot coffee.
299
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,805
Oh, that's great.
300
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:51,842
Us? Did Daddy kick you out, too?
301
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:54,411
Well, no, I kicked myself out.
302
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,513
Oh, Ma.
303
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,025
I think this thing
has gone too far.
304
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,850
I'm gonna go back there
and tell Archie I'm sorry.
305
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,297
I'll throw myself at his mercy.
306
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,441
It's a small target,
but I think I can hit it.
307
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:09,427
I will not have my husband
humiliate himself by crawling back.
308
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,630
Now come on. If Daddy doesn't
come over here and apologize,
309
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,543
we'll just have to
make do. Now sit.
310
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,099
All right.
311
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:19,870
What're we gonna do, sit here
and watch each other turn blue?
312
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:24,207
Oh, no, Mike, I don't think
we'll have to wait that long.
313
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,981
Oh, my.
314
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:35,586
This reminds me of when Nelson
Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald
315
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:41,792
was all alone in a cabin up in
the Canadian Rocky mountains.
316
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:44,595
It was Rose-Marie,
my favorite movie.
317
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,331
I saw it seven times.
318
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,433
You want me to
tell you the story?
319
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:54,271
Well, no... Yeah, all right.
320
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:58,976
Well, it starts out with this
big lion comin' out and roarin'.
321
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:01,479
Wait a minute. A lion?
322
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,792
Well, what's a lion doin'
in the Canadian Rockies?
323
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:08,318
Well, it was an MGM
picture. Every MGM picture...
324
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:13,357
See, honey? She's gonna
tell us the whole story.
325
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,528
Well, anyway, Jeanette MacDonald
326
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,698
who was Rose-Marie
La Flamme in the movie
327
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:24,702
is in love with Nelson Eddy
who is Jim Kenyon in the movie,
328
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,605
and he's a Royal Canadian
Mounted Policeman
329
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:29,907
with a horse and everything.
330
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:33,043
Anyway, Jeanette,
Rose-Marie's brother
331
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,213
is murdered somebody,
so Nelson, Jim Kenyon,
332
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,816
decides to follow
Jeanette, Rose-Marie
333
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:42,352
because he knows that
Jeanette will take him...
334
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,532
♪ Someone's in
the kitchen with Dinah
335
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:51,228
♪ Someone's in
the kitchen with Dinah
336
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,432
♪ Someone's in
the kitchen with Dinah
337
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,067
♪ Someone's in the
kitchen with her ♪
338
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,137
Perfect.
339
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:01,705
Now the old salad.
340
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,400
Well, there's
always Froot Loops.
341
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:39,964
Can you help a man?
342
00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:02,386
Oh, jeez.
343
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,123
Brownie The Clownie.
344
00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:13,764
And there's Jeanette with
her eyes all shiny with tears
345
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:16,400
and the snow is falling.
346
00:22:19,238 --> 00:22:23,206
And there's Nelson,
so young and brave,
347
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:26,844
sittin' on his horse
ridin' through the forest
348
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:30,814
because he can hear
Jeanette singin' to him.
349
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:36,086
♪ When I'm callin' you ♪
350
00:22:39,892 --> 00:22:44,228
It's the famous
Indian Love Call.
351
00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:45,796
Thought I heard an ambulance.
352
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:53,203
Gloria, are you catchin'
cold? No, I'm not.
353
00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:55,773
Gloria, it's freezin' in
here. Now, this is ridiculous.
354
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:58,086
- I'm goin' next door to apologize.
- No, honey, please.
355
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,478
I'm sorry, Gloria, I'm goin'
next door. Please. Don't give in...
356
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:05,015
What're you doin' here?
357
00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:06,951
I was just passing by.
358
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:11,956
I just thought
I'd better tell you
359
00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:14,925
there's a big dog making
water on your cellar door.
360
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:18,562
Thanks. Wait a minute.
361
00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:21,465
As long as I'm
here, I thought I'd
362
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,800
bring this back to you,
this Brownie The Clownie.
363
00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:24,969
Don't you want it?
364
00:23:25,037 --> 00:23:27,237
No, I said Ma could keep it.
365
00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:30,274
She don't eat farina no more.
366
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:34,578
Do you? Nah.
367
00:23:34,646 --> 00:23:36,646
Oh, come on. Don't
give me that pickle puss.
368
00:23:36,715 --> 00:23:38,715
Say somethin' nice.
369
00:23:38,784 --> 00:23:42,030
Archie, I thought you was comin'
over here to say somethin' else
370
00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:45,789
to Mike and Gloria. Well, I
come over here, I come halfway.
371
00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:47,390
I'll meet you halfway, Arch.
372
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:49,860
I'll admit I was wrong,
if you admit it, too.
373
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,661
I'll admit you was wrong.
374
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,768
Daddy, you were wrong.
375
00:23:57,836 --> 00:23:59,470
He was wronger than me.
376
00:23:59,538 --> 00:24:01,749
Archie. Ma, Ma,
Ma, that's all right.
377
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:05,676
I'll accept that. Comin' from Archie,
that's like an unconditional surrender.
378
00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:07,823
I don't accept it, 'cause you
didn't say you were sorry.
379
00:24:07,847 --> 00:24:10,146
Now, listen, little girl. What?
380
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,712
I'm sorry.
381
00:24:16,655 --> 00:24:19,790
Archie, that's nice.
Mike, he said he was sor...
382
00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:23,426
Shut up, now!
383
00:24:23,495 --> 00:24:24,895
Come on, then.
384
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:26,775
Let's get out of here and
get back to a warm house.
385
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:28,065
Come on, Meathead.
386
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,078
Put out the candles. Grab
the mattress over here.
387
00:24:30,102 --> 00:24:31,345
Jeez. GLORIA: Yeah, the candles.
388
00:24:31,369 --> 00:24:32,803
We got to get out of here.
389
00:24:32,871 --> 00:24:35,572
This Jefferson house scares
me. All 'em colored ghosts.
390
00:24:38,978 --> 00:24:42,446
Hey, Edith, when we get home,
391
00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,414
you might notice
a few little things
392
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,617
out of place in the kitchen.
393
00:25:12,244 --> 00:25:14,389
All in the Family
was recorded on tape
394
00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:16,246
before a live audience.
31332
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