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1
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,111
God.
2
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,382
Okay. Okay.
3
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,949
"I'd rather be a hammer than a nail."
4
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,829
No.
5
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,109
No.
6
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,820
Fuck you, bitch!
7
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,144
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
8
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,940
Hi.
9
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,020
I need a room for the night.
10
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,665
$18.
11
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,260
Unless... you have
a companion joining you later.
12
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,860
If you have a companion, it's more.
13
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,585
I don't have a companion.
14
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,710
So it's $18.
15
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:22,701
For now.
16
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,066
It'll stay $18.
17
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,745
Unless someone comes later.
18
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,546
Which he won't.
19
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,820
He may.
20
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:35,662
To throw out certain evidence
obtained at O.J. Simpson's house.
21
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,830
I'm hiking the PCT.
22
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,431
And, I don't have a license
plate number or an address.
23
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,230
Just put down your folks' address.
24
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,940
- Hello.
- Hey.
25
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,260
Oh, hey.
26
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,586
Hi.
27
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,140
Hey.
28
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,705
Y-You in Mojave?
29
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,540
Yeah. I used your address
30
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,141
as my address
on the registration form 'cause I...
31
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,261
I couldn't think of anything else.
32
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,788
No, that's cool. Anytime.
33
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,100
Hey, if you see my little brother,
will you let him know where I am?
34
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,340
Not that he would give a shit,
but I just want him to know.
35
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,304
No, he does, he will.
36
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,420
Listen, I'm making dinner
for a friend, and...
37
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,985
Oh. Which friend?
38
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,660
Does it make any difference?
39
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,462
You know, I only called
because I was looking for Leif.
40
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,780
No, I want you to call.
I want you to call.
41
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,470
We're friends, remember?
42
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,705
Sorry.
43
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,590
No, I'm sorry.
44
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:57,821
For what?
45
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,025
I-I don't know.
46
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,711
I'm-I'm sorry...
47
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,103
that you have to walk
a thousand miles just to...
48
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,749
Finish that sentence.
49
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,627
Why do I have to walk a thousand miles?
50
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,990
Do you have the list
of addresses to write to?
51
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,740
Yeah. Yeah.
52
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,780
Do you want me to send anything else?
53
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,300
No, thanks.
54
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,502
Aimee's in charge of all the boxes.
55
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,909
Okay. Okay.
56
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,391
I got to go.
57
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,300
Happy trails, Cheryl.
58
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,511
Remember, you can quit anytime.
59
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,185
Shit.
60
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,622
Oh, my God.
61
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,266
Shit!
62
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,826
Okay.
63
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,500
So where are you going?
64
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,580
I'm hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.
65
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,147
It goes from the Mexican border
up to Canada.
66
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,149
I'll be walking
for the next three months.
67
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,260
Wow.
68
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:25,541
Up to Ashland.
69
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,381
You do a lot of hiking?
70
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:28,660
Well, I mean,
71
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,307
I'm not obsessive, but this is
quite a stretch, even for me.
72
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:36,144
I guess we're gonna be the last
human contact you have for a while?
73
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,991
That's true.
74
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,224
You can never
75
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:58,389
Go home anymore
76
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,426
Listen
77
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,942
Does this sound familiar?
78
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,660
You wake up every morning
79
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,703
Go to school every day
80
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,060
Spend your nights on the corner
81
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,149
Just passing time away
82
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,060
Your life is so lonely
83
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,422
Like a child without a toy
84
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,820
Then a miracle
85
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,590
A boy
86
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,468
And that's called "glad"
87
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,229
Never
88
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,505
Go home anymore
89
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,190
Now...
90
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,222
Love you, too, son.
91
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,830
"If your Nerve, deny you,
Go above your Nerve."
92
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,271
Emily Dickinson. And Cheryl Strayed.
93
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,825
Oh, my God.
94
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,229
What the fuck have I done?
95
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,470
What... The fuck?
96
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,780
What...
97
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,425
The fuck?
98
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,503
What the fuck?
99
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,064
You can quit anytime.
100
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,025
You can quit...
101
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,386
anytime.
102
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,020
You can quit...
103
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,346
anytime.
104
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,391
Yes!
105
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,224
Shit.
106
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,231
Jesus fucking Christ.
107
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:45,951
Yes, I would
108
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,986
If I could
109
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,900
I surely would
110
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,746
I thought of you today.
111
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,502
I felt a burst of energy,
112
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,350
remembering why I thought
I could hike this trail.
113
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:42,342
I hope you won't be mad at me if I quit.
114
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:52,180
"Today a backhoe divulged out
of a crumbling flank of earth,
115
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,700
"one bottle amber, perfect,
116
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,380
"a hundred-year-old cure
for fever or melancholy...
117
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,186
"A tonic for living on this earth.
118
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,340
"Today I was reading about Marie Curie."
119
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,590
"She died a famous woman,
denying her wounds...
120
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,951
"Denying her wounds
came from the same source
121
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,944
"as her power."
122
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,540
So, what did he say?
123
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,860
He said he was going to call you.
124
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,900
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, I know.
125
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,545
Does he think we're in junior high?
126
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,220
Exactly!
127
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,502
I think he's going to ask
for your number!
128
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,060
Bobbi?
129
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,625
- Hey.
- Hey.
130
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,589
- How's it going?
- Good.
131
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,187
Hard but fun.
132
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,100
All right. See you.
133
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,506
Yeah, cool.
134
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,188
I'm just gonna grab this for a second.
135
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,264
I'm sorry I ignored you at school today.
136
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,024
That's okay, hon.
137
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,900
We agreed, right?
138
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,467
It's pretty strange
going to school with your mom.
139
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,183
It's not because I'm not proud of you.
140
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,183
I'm really proud of you.
141
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,745
You know what?
I'm pretty proud of me, too.
142
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,940
God, there's so much to know.
143
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,460
I mean, I knew there was a lot, but...
144
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,580
not this much.
145
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,700
You've read Erica Jong, right?
146
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,631
Okay, so tell me about the zipless fuck.
147
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,780
Mom, I am not gonna discuss
zipless fucks with you.
148
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,140
You have to, 'cause I have
to write a paper about it.
149
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:31,780
I mean, you know, is it...
150
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,580
- This is so awkward.
- ...that much easier for women now
151
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,180
- than it was before?
- I don't know.
152
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,820
Can we not discuss this?
153
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,620
Well, for me, it felt like it was
always covered in zips.
154
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,420
Zips, strings, everywhere I went.
155
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,540
Hey.
156
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:45,860
What's for dinner, Mom? I'm starving.
157
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,580
Books and essays.
158
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:48,780
I can fix something.
159
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,900
Are you gonna stay, Wayne?
You want something to eat?
160
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,980
- Sure.
- Mom, they are 18 years old.
161
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,540
They can cook their own dinner.
162
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,780
You've got a paper to write.
163
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,980
If I can't be a mom,
then I can't be a student, either.
164
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,100
Rule book.
165
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,340
That's ridiculous.
166
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,340
If she wants to make me dinner,
then let her.
167
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,100
I wonder, have you learned any of this
168
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,140
- that we're reading?
- You know, I have to do everything.
169
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,500
I want to do everything.
170
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,304
I hope you do, too.
171
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,020
Pasta?
172
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,420
"Denying her wounds
173
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,429
"came from her power.
174
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:25,586
"Denying her wounds came from
the same source as her power."
175
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,070
And you want to travel blind...
176
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,385
I'm not afraid.
177
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,390
I'm not afraid.
178
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,500
"Please ensure
that you only use white gas
179
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,420
"compatible with this stove.
180
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,980
"Other fuels may harm the equipment
181
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,262
"and render it inoperable."
182
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,305
Shit.
183
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,181
Shit!
184
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,544
Cold mush is great.
185
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,622
Cold mush with nuts.
186
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,142
Cold mush with tuna jerky.
187
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:25,511
Cold mush dreams.
188
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,141
Cold mush shit.
189
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,791
I love cold mush.
190
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,349
"What do you like to do
when you're not hiking, Cheryl?"
191
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,301
I like to sit on a real toilet.
192
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,869
And flush.
193
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,990
I like to cook food.
194
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,986
Eat food with other people.
195
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,708
People, that's another thing I like.
196
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,669
I like talking to people,
197
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,949
listening to people.
198
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,062
Funny, that's a hobby,
one I hadn't even realized I had.
199
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,987
Until I decided to walk on my own
through the fucking desert.
200
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,622
We got to feed you, kid.
201
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,504
Should I stay or should I go?
202
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:46,380
I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
203
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,390
Yes, I would
204
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,311
Hey!
205
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:05,867
Hey!
206
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,741
Hi!
207
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,700
My name is Cheryl.
208
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,029
I'm walking the PCT,
and I've run out of food.
209
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,024
I'm just wondering if you could take me
someplace I could get a warm meal.
210
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,626
I'm working.
211
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,783
Yeah, I understand.
212
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,341
But maybe when you're finished,
you could take me somewhere?
213
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,149
Not gonna find anything open
this time of day.
214
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,500
Well, maybe you could just drive me
215
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,500
to someplace that'd be open
in the morning for breakfast,
216
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,862
and I can camp nearby.
217
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,060
You must be starving.
218
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,900
I brought all these dehydrated meals,
and I brought a stove,
219
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,340
but I brought the wrong fuel.
220
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,940
Yeah, I got a little bit
more work to do,
221
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,381
but you can wait in my truck.
222
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,305
Thank you.
223
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,660
- Thank you, sir.
- Yeah.
224
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:43,510
All right, I've been thinking.
225
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,980
You can come back to my place
226
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,342
for a hot dinner and a hot shower.
227
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,060
Okay.
228
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,182
So, what kind of woman are you?
229
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:57,980
What kind?
230
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,944
Yeah. Are you like a Jane?
231
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,300
You know, Tarzan's Jane.
232
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,820
Are you a Jane?
233
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,545
A wild woman?
234
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,940
I got a little something for us.
235
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,460
That is, if you partake.
236
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:13,741
Sure.
237
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,585
Ladies first.
238
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,742
- Oh.
- It's cheap, but it's good.
239
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,220
See?
240
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,100
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
241
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,665
I'm gonna call you Jane.
242
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,067
Yeah, my husband's hiking
the PCT with me.
243
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,827
He's just a little bit
further ahead on the trail.
244
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,831
We're gonna meet up really soon.
245
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,860
Probably around Kennedy Meadows.
246
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:47,110
I got a little something else
I like to do after a hard day's work.
247
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,869
You like licorice?
248
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:56,109
Oh, thanks.
249
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,660
Come on.
250
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,220
Come on, Jane!
251
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,660
All right, you got to promise
252
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,140
that you're not gonna tell my wife,
253
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,149
because she hates it when I eat candy.
254
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,627
Okay.
255
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,910
What, you just gonna stand there?
256
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,140
Oh, hold on, sweetheart.
257
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,990
No offense, but...
258
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,509
Thank you.
259
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,260
Well, you just gonna look at it or...
260
00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:07,462
Thank you.
261
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,310
Good meal.
262
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,741
So, your husband,
263
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,829
the two of you meet in college?
264
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:31,820
- Your husband.
- Oh, Paul?
265
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,420
- Yeah.
- Yes.
266
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,460
Yeah.
267
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,503
Well, he must be crazy.
268
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,860
It's one thing for a man
to take off on a hike like that,
269
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,780
but to allow your wife to do it?
270
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,340
Whole other thing entirely.
271
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,340
Not everyone in the world
thinks like you do, Frank.
272
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,780
Nope, that's why everything
is so messed up.
273
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,860
Paul and I kind of do our own thing.
274
00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,860
Don't you get any ideas.
275
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,903
How could I possibly?
276
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:02,901
You gonna take off with her?
277
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:07,220
You have an extra tent?
278
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,820
You'd be yelling for me
279
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,180
to come get you before you got
to the end of the driveway.
280
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,189
This is really good.
281
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:37,862
Baby, baby, be my friend
282
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,540
So, what does this tattoo
mean to you guys, anyways?
283
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,902
Well, we both just really dig horses.
284
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,703
We're getting divorced today
285
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,668
and we thought we should do something
that bonded us together.
286
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:01,747
Oh.
287
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:03,905
Okay.
288
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:11,184
It hasn't occurred to you guys that it might
be easier just to stay married?
289
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,140
Cheaper, too.
290
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,466
At least we probably won't regret it.
291
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,140
Couples don't necessarily stay married,
but they tend to stay divorced.
292
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,580
You get a lot of people asking you
about removing tattoos?
293
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:22,740
Well, sometimes.
294
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,590
I cheated on him.
295
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,346
It happens.
296
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:31,300
She seems sorry.
297
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,580
I am sorry.
298
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,020
Cheryl, come on, can we just...
299
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,260
Come on, man, wipe the slate clean.
300
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,588
It's quite a big slate.
301
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,181
I cheated on him a lot of times.
302
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,980
Is that right? "Stryed"?
303
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,625
No, it's "strayed."
304
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,181
Like a stray dog.
305
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,021
The form asked me what my new
last name would be. I...
306
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,861
I looked it up.
307
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,663
It just sounded right.
308
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,546
You're all set.
309
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:06,790
You're going to have
to mail them yourselves.
310
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,540
It's been a wonderful
and crazy seven years.
311
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,661
Goodbye,
312
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,181
Cheryl Strayed.
313
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:12,780
Got what you needed?
314
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:14,180
Yes.
315
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,620
Now I don't have to eat
cold mush anymore.
316
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:16,946
I can eat hot mush.
317
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,948
There's no husband, is there?
318
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,900
No. I mean, there was,
319
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,229
but he's in Minneapolis, not on the PCT.
320
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,427
I said that 'cause I was scared of you.
321
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,387
Yeah, I knew that.
322
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:41,900
Can't say I blame you.
323
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:46,700
Do you ever think about quitting?
324
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,585
Oh, only once every two minutes or so.
325
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,900
Everything hurts. All the time.
326
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,301
- You think I should quit?
- Yes, I do.
327
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,700
Don't listen to me.
Hell, I've quit a bunch of stuff.
328
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,580
Quit jobs, quit marriages.
329
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,782
I'd have quit that hike
after the first day.
330
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,300
You regret any of them?
331
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,100
I didn't have a choice.
332
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,587
I just couldn't do them no more.
333
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,429
Never been a time
when there was a fork in my road.
334
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:22,747
Yeah.
335
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,308
That's about the size of it.
336
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,580
Be careful.
337
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,140
- All right.
- Nice meeting you.
338
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,308
Nice meeting you. Thank you, Frank!
339
00:32:58,400 --> 00:32:59,581
Yes!
340
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,466
Okay.
341
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,300
Oh, my God.
342
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:19,911
Oh, my God!
343
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,461
You're doing good, Strayed.
344
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,388
Five to seven miles a day.
345
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,180
At this rate,
you'll be finished in about 20 years.
346
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,105
I'm not hungry.
347
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,831
I don't miss food.
348
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,420
I don't miss tacos, chips and guac.
349
00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:42,627
I don't miss Minneapolis snow,
that's for sure.
350
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,430
I don't miss margaritas.
351
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,340
I'd kill a snake for a sip.
352
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,703
It's not like I'm some junkie.
I'm in control.
353
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:53,430
Yeah, like everyone is with drugs?
354
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,140
I'm an experimentalist.
355
00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:57,741
I'm the girl who says yes instead of no.
356
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:27,701
Hi!
357
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,667
Cheryl Strayed?
358
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,620
Oh, yeah, hi!
359
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:33,140
I... Do I know you?
360
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,263
I... I saw your name
in the trail register.
361
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,340
You're the only woman in there.
362
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:38,587
Right.
363
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:39,981
I'm Greg!
364
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,586
Nice to meet you!
365
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:43,701
I'm coming down.
366
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:45,667
Oh, great!
367
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,705
Sorry. I wasn't expecting any visitors.
368
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,860
So how many miles a day are you doing?
369
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,267
I'm averaging 22 at the moment.
370
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,390
You'll be in Kennedy Meadows
by tomorrow?
371
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:06,907
Hope so.
372
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,180
I'm only managing about...
373
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,146
11 or 12.
374
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,580
Well, the first couple of weeks
are always hard.
375
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,300
And you do all that preparation
and training,
376
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,106
and nothing prepares you
for the pain and the heat.
377
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,700
Yeah, we picked the wrong year, though.
378
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,789
You... bypassing the Sierra?
379
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:30,900
Sure.
380
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,784
I'll bypass anything. Should I?
381
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,544
Oh, it's completely socked in.
382
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,260
Biggest snowfall in a decade or so.
383
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,906
Yeah, nobody's getting through that.
384
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:45,787
Say...
385
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,100
how 'bout we make a plan
up in Kennedy Meadows?
386
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,144
I'm... I'm staying there
for a few days to rest up.
387
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:53,580
Yeah.
388
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:54,861
Thanks.
389
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,540
Let's make a plan. I...
390
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:57,787
Think that'd be good for me.
391
00:37:58,400 --> 00:37:59,661
Great.
392
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:17,747
I think I'm pregnant.
393
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,747
What?
394
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,700
Who's the father?
395
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:25,981
I don't know.
396
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:27,867
I mean...
397
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,180
I think I have an idea.
398
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,984
You have an idea?
399
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,662
Are you fucking kidding me?
400
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,941
What are you doing to yourself?
401
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,021
Can we have the check, please?
402
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,031
Shit. Pregnancy test and a shovel.
403
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,540
You're going to do this in front of me,
and if you're pregnant,
404
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,108
we're gonna pay visit to your "idea"
and make a plan.
405
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,909
Next please!
406
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:07,264
Give me a reason to love you
407
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,180
This is the beginning
408
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:17,351
Of forever and ever
409
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,186
It's time to move over
410
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,302
It's all I want to be
411
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:38,624
Give me a reason to love you
412
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:47,910
Give me a reason to be
413
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,382
A woman
414
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,700
I just wanna be a woman
415
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,580
There's no plan to make.
416
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,187
I'm not gonna have this baby.
417
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,263
I don't know when I became
such a piece of shit.
418
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,226
I was strong...
419
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,109
Responsible.
420
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,708
I wanted things in life.
421
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,429
I was good, you know?
422
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:22,460
I ruined my marriage,
423
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,662
and now I'm ruining the rest of my life.
424
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,943
I gotta go back to that store.
425
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:32,940
I'm gonna walk myself back to the woman
426
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,585
my mother thought I was.
427
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:39,629
I'm gonna put myself
in the way of beauty.
428
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,270
What the hell are you talking about?
429
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,183
In the way of another
fucking giant rock.
430
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,951
Maybe your other girlfriends
431
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,180
Couldn't pass the test
432
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,387
Come on, Bruce. Sing with me.
433
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,501
Well, if you're rough and ready for love
434
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,980
Honey, I'm tougher than...
435
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,386
The rest
436
00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:49,387
Hey, there.
437
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,140
There she is!
438
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,421
Hey!
439
00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,869
- You made it!
- I made it!
440
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:01,627
Okay, guys?
441
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,187
This is Cheryl.
442
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:04,821
And Monster.
443
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:06,781
"Monster"?
444
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,467
My pack?
445
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,180
Oh, man.
446
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:14,827
Okay, what can I get you?
447
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:19,350
Snapple. I've been dreaming
of Snapple Lemonade.
448
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,300
And potato chips.
Any kind of potato chips.
449
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:23,380
- Any kind?
- Thank you.
450
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,580
- I have cash.
- No, no, no! My treat.
451
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:26,781
Thank you.
452
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,940
Seriously, you have no Snapple
in that pack?
453
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,710
I wish!
454
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:37,340
Stay.
455
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:38,780
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
456
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,140
I wish I'd gotten applause
like that when I walked in.
457
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,260
Okay! I know they said
don't feed the animals,
458
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:47,620
but I figured this would be
a special occasion.
459
00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:49,948
One Snapple and chips.
460
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:52,391
That's perfect.
461
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:55,740
When you're done here, Ed over there
462
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,181
will cook you dinner
down at the campsite.
463
00:43:58,680 --> 00:43:59,820
That would be amazing.
464
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:01,021
Thank you.
465
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,700
Ed is amazing. We call him Amazing Ed.
466
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,427
Sweetheart.
467
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,420
If you're reading this,
then you've walked 100 miles
468
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:27,540
through the Mojave Desert.
469
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:28,980
Whatever else has happened between us,
470
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,500
however angry we are,
or were, at each other,
471
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,625
I am so proud of you and in awe of you.
472
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,421
Or, I will be, once you've done it.
473
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:40,500
As I write, you've only just left,
474
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,020
so actually,
you've done almost nothing at all.
475
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:44,380
Like me!
476
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,180
So we can still be friends.
477
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,791
Minneapolis misses you.
478
00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:01,061
Hey, Cheryl!
479
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:03,631
- Come and get it!
- Okay, great!
480
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:05,980
So you're not a hiker?
481
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,341
Not like you.
482
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,740
I just come up here every summer
to hang out with the real hikers.
483
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:12,590
You fascinate me.
484
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,740
I'm not a real hiker.
485
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,180
You just hiked 100 miles
through the desert heat.
486
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,223
And it nearly killed me.
487
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:22,741
You want some help?
488
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,422
Do I look like somebody who needs help?
489
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,380
Your boots. They're too small.
490
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,503
That's why you're losing toenails.
491
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,424
Yeah. You're right.
492
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,340
I only just realized it
the second you said that.
493
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:42,540
I thought they were
supposed to hurt that bad.
494
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:43,660
What am I supposed to do?
495
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,300
I don't have any money to buy new boots.
496
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,582
- Did you get them at REI?
- Yeah.
497
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,060
Well, you call 'em, you tell 'em,
and they'll have new boots
498
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:51,300
sent to your next stop.
499
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:52,945
Seriously?
500
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,824
And your pack, it's insane.
501
00:45:56,240 --> 00:45:58,183
We need to do a little pruning.
502
00:45:58,680 --> 00:45:59,980
Okay, so I'm gonna pick out
503
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,860
the stuff that's useless to you.
504
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,580
And you can leave it in the free box
unless you can give me a good reason
505
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:05,861
why you need it with you.
506
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,181
- Okay?
- Okay.
507
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,106
How's this working for you?
508
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,020
I stink.
509
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,781
I stink all the time.
And my armpits are the least of it.
510
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:18,780
Are you having much fun with these?
511
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,028
I've never used them once.
512
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:30,184
I don't know what
I was thinking with the saw.
513
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,060
You burning what you read?
514
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:37,180
You want me to burn books?
515
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,620
I know you're not gonna
become a Nazi, I promise you.
516
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:42,140
But you are gonna make
your pack a lot lighter.
517
00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:45,105
Okay? So... Everything before
Kennedy Meadows...
518
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:50,707
Wait. Not those.
519
00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:53,860
These will never be burned.
520
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:55,710
It's your weight.
521
00:46:57,720 --> 00:47:00,107
I don't take pictures at night.
522
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:02,621
Never.
523
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:09,820
You... You need the whole roll?
524
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:13,940
What woman goes on a hike
and brings 12 condoms.
525
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,744
Hey, Ed!
526
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,107
Wait just a minute.
527
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,340
But you'll just send the boots there?
528
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,668
I don't have to do anything?
529
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:30,540
Thank you so much.
530
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:33,869
You will be my favorite company
forever and ever.
531
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:36,027
Okay.
532
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:37,861
Great.
533
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:54,940
So what's wrong with James Michener?
534
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,222
He's crap is what's wrong.
535
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,380
And which of his books
have you read that are so...
536
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:00,820
I haven't read any of his books.
537
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,620
I read things like Adrienne Rich
538
00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:04,060
and Flannery O'Connor.
539
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,020
Which you do, too, now, by the way.
540
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:08,380
Doesn't it make a difference to you?
541
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:10,264
I don't know what to say.
542
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:12,944
I love James Michener!
543
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,020
And I'm not going to stop loving him!
544
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:19,740
It must be so weird for you.
545
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,101
What?
546
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:26,025
That I'm just so much more sophisticated
than you were at my age, you know?
547
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,422
Yeah, that was the plan.
548
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,100
What was the plan?
549
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,702
I always wanted you to be
more sophisticated than me.
550
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,706
I just didn't realize
it would hurt sometimes.
551
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,460
Why do you put up with my crap?
552
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,867
You look so pretty in that dress.
553
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,940
And I'll make you another one soon.
554
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:01,621
What'd you decide about the snow?
555
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,942
Well, I'd like to push on,
if it's possible.
556
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,981
Well, Ed told me a lot of the hikers
557
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,740
went up the PCT
another 40 miles to Trail Pass.
558
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:11,260
- Yeah?
- And that's where they're getting forced off
559
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:12,871
by the snow.
560
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,780
And they're catching a bus
up to Reno and on to Truckee,
561
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,869
just, rejoining the trail
at a lower elevation.
562
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,270
I didn't come out here to ride buses.
563
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:22,420
You probably didn't come out here
564
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,460
to slide off the side
of a mountain, either.
565
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,150
True.
566
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,260
If you're worried
about cheating yourself,
567
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,620
just make your hike longer.
568
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:33,060
You know, just... walk to Mount Hood
569
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,342
or the Bridge of the Gods.
570
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:38,260
The Bridge of the Gods?
571
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,462
I like the sound of that.
572
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:44,861
Either way, don't beat yourself up.
573
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:48,861
You... you strike me as someone
who's done plenty of that already.
574
00:50:16,240 --> 00:50:17,580
Can I ride my horse?
575
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:20,787
Bobbi Grey?
576
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:24,666
I'm sorry.
577
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:27,343
- How long?
- Can I ride my horse?
578
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:29,180
We'll be giving you radiation
579
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,951
to shrink the size of the tumors
along your spine.
580
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:34,780
The slightest jolt, it could crumble.
581
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:36,061
How long?
582
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:55,781
You all right, honey?
583
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:00,785
Yeah, I'm fine.
584
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,020
Hi, this is Paul.
585
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,507
Leave a message
and I'll call you back whenever I can.
586
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,303
Hey, sorry to call so late.
587
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:26,060
Thank you.
588
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,340
I'm in Reno. If you were here,
we could get divorced again.
589
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:32,748
Anyway, I... I'm still alive.
590
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,386
And that's all my news.
591
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,830
And the sum total
of what I've learned on my hike.
592
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:45,305
Okay. Bye.
593
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,781
Hi. I'm Cheryl.
594
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,942
I'm an unaccompanied female hitchhiker.
595
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,100
Would it be okay if I got into your car
596
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,780
so that you can rape and dismember me?
597
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,226
Hey, going north?
598
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:19,780
Yeah, I am, actually.
599
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,580
Okay, I just need a ride
about 12 miles up.
600
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,980
- Well, that's quite a backpack you got there.
- Thanks.
601
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,023
I can't offer you a ride
because I don't have any room.
602
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:32,180
What do you mean?
603
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:33,541
Yeah, I'm packed to the gills.
604
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,186
Jimmy Carter.
605
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,467
No relation.
606
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:41,706
I interview hobos for the Hobo Times.
Drive all over the USA.
607
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:45,023
And I have to tell you.
Lady hobos? Hard to find.
608
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,781
I think you're mistaken. I'm not a hobo.
609
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,140
Second of all, that's a real thing,
the Hobo Times?
610
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:54,100
Yeah, it's real enough to pay
for my rent and gas.
611
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,620
So, how long have you been
out on the road?
612
00:52:56,720 --> 00:53:00,340
I'm not "on the road."
I'm hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.
613
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,020
I just had to bypass a chunk of it
614
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,348
because there was a snowfall this year.
615
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,140
Okay, so if you're not a hobo,
where do you live?
616
00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:08,740
I'm between places right now.
617
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:10,980
I'm probably going to live in Portland
when I get off the PCT.
618
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:12,830
This is so fucking cool. I mean...
619
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:16,660
I've only spoken to maybe one
other female hobo in two years.
620
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,140
Let me reiterate to you,
I am not a hobo.
621
00:53:19,240 --> 00:53:21,420
And that's probably because women
cannot walk out of their lives.
622
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:23,060
They've got kids to take care of,
623
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:25,060
they've got parents to look after.
624
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,900
You sound like a feminist.
625
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,020
I am.
626
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,951
That's excellent. That's fantastic.
I love feminists.
627
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,020
So you're trying to tell me
you're not a hobo,
628
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:36,900
so that means
you have a job then, right?
629
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,620
I've had a whole lot of different jobs.
630
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:42,391
Up until a couple of years ago,
I was studying.
631
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,140
I hope you don't think
this is too personal,
632
00:53:47,240 --> 00:53:50,140
but I've noticed
it's often personal trauma
633
00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:52,340
that forces people out of their life
634
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:56,220
and into the hobo life. Would you say
that's been the case for you?
635
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,629
This is my life.
I'm just taking a little time out.
636
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,226
This is not a hobo life.
637
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,467
I don't know what else to tell you.
638
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:07,060
- Can I get a shot?
- No! That...
639
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:10,780
Yeah, this should be in the fall issue.
640
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,580
A couple of my pieces have been
in some other magazines.
641
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,220
Harper's has expressed interest.
642
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:16,260
Harper's?
643
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,620
It's a New York magazine.
644
00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:18,740
Pretty swanky, kind of a big deal...
645
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,140
Yeah, I know what Harper's is.
I want to write for Harper's one day.
646
00:54:21,240 --> 00:54:24,940
I don't really feel like being
their centerfold Bum of the Month.
647
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:26,020
What's this?
648
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,587
Hobo care package. Thanks a lot!
649
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:51,826
What's your dog's name?
650
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:55,508
Stevie Ray. Got him the day he died.
651
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:57,664
The other Stevie Ray, I mean.
652
00:54:58,240 --> 00:55:00,024
I love Stevie Ray.
653
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,424
Hey, put on Love Struck.
654
00:55:08,240 --> 00:55:10,700
Just came to me
the second you got in this car.
655
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,460
Oh, shut up, Spider! Jesus!
656
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,789
Ignore him. He's nothing
but a horny old bastard.
657
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,303
You must be pretty tough,
hiking this fucking trail.
658
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,660
I'm in a car with you, taking a ride.
659
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,943
That's not very tough.
660
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,343
That's a cute little boy. How old is he?
661
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:37,305
He was eight.
662
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:42,020
I'm so sorry.
663
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:45,346
He got hit by a truck
when he was riding his bike.
664
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:47,221
Five years ago.
665
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:51,548
He was a tough motherfucker,
too. Just like his mom.
666
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,271
I'm really sorry.
667
00:55:57,440 --> 00:55:59,429
I know you are, sweetheart.
668
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,820
I was never me.
669
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,740
Don't. Okay? Don't. It's not over.
670
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:08,860
We're gonna find somebody who can
help you and we are gonna fight this!
671
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:10,585
I was always...
672
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,748
A mother or a wife.
673
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:23,028
I was never even
in the driver's seat of my own life.
674
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:27,786
I thought there was
so much time, you know?
675
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,310
And just when...
676
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,382
So many things were beginning.
677
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,107
Oh, well!
678
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:02,309
You've got to be kidding me.
679
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:07,781
Hang on.
680
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:21,225
All right.
681
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,860
I surely would...
682
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:37,980
Can you stop humming that song?
683
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:40,380
Happy people sing!
684
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:42,184
Shut up.
685
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,380
I'm sitting in the railway station
686
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,789
Got a ticket for my destination
687
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,020
The sun is right behind my back
688
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,621
So true north should be over there
689
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,300
I will not lose this fucking track
690
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:14,151
Or I'll end up in Delaware
691
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:16,902
Portland bound
692
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:20,980
I hope I am Portland bound
693
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:24,901
Hey!
694
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:27,421
Hey!
695
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,185
Where am I?
696
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:34,025
California!
697
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:37,020
Fucking hilarious.
698
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:38,824
Plumas County!
699
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:40,984
Are you lost?
700
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:43,821
No!
701
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:47,745
Just screwed.
702
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:04,745
Hey, beauty.
703
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,390
Hey, my Lady.
704
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:09,106
She saved my life.
705
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,140
You know, after I left your dad.
706
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:12,341
I know.
707
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:16,464
I'm not going to make you
promise anything.
708
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,060
This is hard enough on you as it is.
709
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:26,061
Just please try and do
the kindest thing.
710
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,431
Come back!
711
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:36,026
Come back.
712
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:41,106
Come back!
713
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,745
Here you go. This should keep you warm.
714
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:52,142
I'll be back in the morning with Leif.
715
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:01,111
I love you.
716
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:05,824
You're the center of me.
717
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:08,704
Everything I am.
718
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:12,711
Love.
719
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:16,185
Love.
720
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:24,981
How's she doing?
721
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:27,947
The doctor said it would be a year.
722
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:31,304
It's been a month. One fucking month!
723
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:34,671
I'm sorry.
724
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,224
I'll pray for her.
725
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:57,311
Fucking Saint Patrick.
726
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:00,463
Go to hell, all you saints.
727
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,747
Thank you, God, for showing me the way.
728
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:10,669
As if He gives a shit.
729
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,384
I'm sorry, but God is a ruthless bitch.
730
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,060
Yeah, well, I really need him.
731
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:20,581
It's urgent.
Tell him to get the fuck home.
732
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:45,503
Where the fuck have you been?
733
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:48,420
I've been at the hospital all day!
She's dying.
734
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,304
- Don't say that!
- You understand that?
735
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:53,100
- She can't die.
- She can. She is dying.
736
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,301
Stop it!
737
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,429
She can't die.
738
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:08,064
There was Killer, and Doobie.
739
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:10,224
Doo-bie!
740
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:13,949
And Motorcycle Dan.
741
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:16,981
Motorcycle Dan... wow!
742
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:20,142
I wanted to be like that guy.
743
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:25,870
And Nipper.
744
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:31,620
"If you press your face
against the glass...
745
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:34,187
"...you can see a little slice
of Lake Superior."
746
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:35,946
A room with a view.
747
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:37,740
She said.
748
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:40,625
All my life, I've always wanted
a room with a view.
749
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:44,186
Jesus, she just never stops.
750
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:50,987
The past few years,
I've acted like she was nothing to me.
751
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:53,826
But...
752
01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:57,502
really, she was everything.
753
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:10,465
What are you doing?
754
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:12,620
Praying.
755
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:16,585
Shut up.
756
01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:20,631
I'm praying to
the whole fucking universe...
757
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,182
hoping there's a God.
758
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:29,630
Because I want a miracle.
I want a fucking miracle!
759
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:33,310
Our mother isn't going to die at 45.
760
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:41,751
Are you burning and yearning?
761
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:46,705
Do you ever feel blue?
762
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:50,427
And do you think of returning?
763
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,942
How's the world treating you?
764
01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:57,021
I can't wait to see her face.
765
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,902
She'll be so happy to see you.
766
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:08,143
So happy to see you...
767
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:17,261
How much do I love you?
768
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:19,300
No.
769
01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:20,501
This much?
770
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,750
This much?
771
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:24,181
This much?
772
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:25,581
This much?
773
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:27,820
I'm stuck! I can't go wider.
774
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:29,351
I can't go wider!
775
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:34,621
How's the world treating you?
776
01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:41,789
We put ice on her eyes.
777
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:43,426
What?
778
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,262
She wanted to donate her corneas, so...
779
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:48,031
Oh, my God.
780
01:05:57,360 --> 01:05:59,224
Fuck you, bitch!
781
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:14,269
What the fuck do you want?
782
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:49,700
Fuck you, let's go.
783
01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:52,346
I'd rather be a sparrow
784
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,310
than a snail
785
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:57,182
Yes, I would
786
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,621
If I could
787
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:03,507
I surely would
788
01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:12,745
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
789
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:15,582
Yes, I would
790
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:06,029
I'd rather be a forest than a street
791
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:09,502
If I could
792
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:13,344
If I only could
793
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,350
I surely would
794
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:18,151
I surely would
795
01:09:35,440 --> 01:09:36,380
Fuck it.
796
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:19,385
Can you stop humming that song?
797
01:10:22,960 --> 01:10:24,020
What is wrong with you?
798
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:26,260
I don't know. What's wrong with you?
799
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:28,100
I'm happy. Happy people sing!
800
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:32,430
Why are you happy?
We have nothing, Mom. Nothing.
801
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:34,580
We're rich in love.
802
01:10:34,680 --> 01:10:35,980
Oh, my God, please.
803
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:37,944
Don't even start with that.
804
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:40,060
We're both waitressing full-time.
805
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:41,380
We're students.
806
01:10:41,480 --> 01:10:43,540
We'll have loans the rest of our lives.
This house...
807
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:46,340
is falling apart. You're all by yourself
808
01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:49,862
because you married
some abusive alcoholic asshole.
809
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:52,180
And I come home and you're singing?
810
01:10:52,280 --> 01:10:53,950
What part of it do you not get?
811
01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:56,951
There's nothing I don't get, believe me.
812
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:00,785
But then what?
813
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:04,580
Cheryl, if there's one thing
I could teach you...
814
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:06,740
It's how to find your best self.
815
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:09,740
And when you do,
how to hold onto it for dear life.
816
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:12,068
And this is your best self.
817
01:11:12,480 --> 01:11:13,786
I'm trying.
818
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:20,023
Do I regret marrying
an abusive alcoholic asshole?
819
01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:24,461
No.
820
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:27,826
Not for a second. Because I got you.
821
01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:30,070
And your brother.
822
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:31,621
See how it works?
823
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:33,744
It isn't easy...
824
01:11:34,440 --> 01:11:35,780
But it's worth it.
825
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:38,627
There's going to be
a lot worse days than this.
826
01:11:39,120 --> 01:11:41,541
And you can let them kill you...
827
01:11:42,040 --> 01:11:45,747
But, I don't know... I want to live.
828
01:11:47,480 --> 01:11:48,820
"I want to live."
829
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:52,901
You couldn't even stick around
and enjoy your miserable happy life.
830
01:11:57,880 --> 01:12:01,427
I think you have packages for me?
My name is Cheryl Strayed.
831
01:12:02,080 --> 01:12:03,380
New boots from REI?
832
01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:04,580
Yes.
833
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:06,191
How far did you walk in those?
834
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:10,507
About 50 miles.
You sure there's not another package?
835
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:13,540
I'm sure. And, lady,
if you walked 50 miles
836
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:16,186
in duct tape, you got the right package.
837
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:18,824
It's two bucks for the Snapple.
838
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:21,020
I'll pass.
839
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:23,351
Thanks.
840
01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:35,271
You like my shoes?
841
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,660
Dearest Cheryl, you made it halfway.
842
01:12:40,760 --> 01:12:43,147
Six-hundred miles. Damn!
843
01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:47,380
I ran into Aimee. She said you were
making your hike longer.
844
01:12:47,480 --> 01:12:49,500
Did you decide where you'll finish?
845
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:52,544
Let me know,
I'll send a tube of foot cream.
846
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:56,260
I'm sorry if I cut you short
on the phone before you left.
847
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:58,588
I still resent you, I guess.
848
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:00,980
The funny thing is...
849
01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:02,670
hell, I'll admit it...
850
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:05,020
I miss you.
851
01:13:05,120 --> 01:13:08,220
Be sure to take plenty of water
with you for the trail.
852
01:13:08,320 --> 01:13:10,380
There's a water tank 20 miles up, right?
853
01:13:10,480 --> 01:13:13,584
Yep. But it's way over
100 degrees out there.
854
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,345
That's a lot of sweat.
855
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:17,270
Okay. Thanks.
856
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:20,580
Howdy.
857
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:23,511
You should have something
for Stacey Johnson.
858
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:25,625
I'll go check.
859
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:28,788
Hey, are you hiking the PCT?
860
01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:30,546
Yeah.
861
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:31,781
Are you?
862
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:34,351
You're a woman!
863
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:41,301
You come across a guy named Greg?
864
01:13:41,440 --> 01:13:45,220
Yeah. A while ago, at Kennedy Meadows...
865
01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:47,787
when I knew even less than I do now.
866
01:13:48,160 --> 01:13:49,500
Well, he quit.
867
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:51,589
What? Greg?
868
01:13:52,080 --> 01:13:55,070
He couldn't deal with the snow.
He's coming back next year.
869
01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:56,461
Wow.
870
01:13:57,160 --> 01:13:58,860
Greg quit and I'm still here?
871
01:14:02,560 --> 01:14:04,185
Cheers to that.
872
01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:12,190
You get lonely?
873
01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:19,306
Honestly, I think I'm lonelier
in my real life than out here.
874
01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:23,549
Yes, I miss my friends,
of course, but...
875
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:28,029
it's not like anybody's waiting
for me at home.
876
01:14:28,320 --> 01:14:30,741
How about you? Why are you here?
877
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:40,304
I don't know. I just need to find
something in myself, you know?
878
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:43,306
I think the trail is good for that.
879
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:45,021
I mean, look.
880
01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:49,742
This has the power
to fill you up again if you let it.
881
01:14:51,160 --> 01:14:54,020
My mother used to say something
that drove me nuts.
882
01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:57,180
"There's a sunrise
and a sunset every day...
883
01:14:57,280 --> 01:15:00,190
"...and you can choose
to be there for it.
884
01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:03,307
"You can put yourself
in the way of beauty."
885
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:07,031
My kind of woman.
886
01:15:15,560 --> 01:15:18,020
She was the love of my life.
There's nothing else...
887
01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,426
to say.
888
01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:24,665
I thought there'd be couches
and Kleenex and shit.
889
01:15:24,920 --> 01:15:26,704
That's 50-bucks-an-hour therapy.
890
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:29,747
This is 10-bucks-an-hour therapy.
891
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:33,340
Why were you destroyed
by your mother's death?
892
01:15:33,440 --> 01:15:37,540
Is that your job? To tell the bereaved
they're grieving too much?
893
01:15:37,640 --> 01:15:42,020
People grieve in all sorts of different ways.
I'm asking about yours.
894
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:43,380
Is mine so bad?
895
01:15:43,480 --> 01:15:47,020
You're using heroin and having sex
with anyone who asks.
896
01:15:47,120 --> 01:15:50,303
I'm not sure these things
are making you happy.
897
01:15:50,520 --> 01:15:51,500
That's where you're wrong.
898
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:54,590
When I'm doing them,
I feel good and happy.
899
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:57,020
When I'm not, I feel like I want to die.
900
01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:59,340
You sleep with your husband, too?
901
01:15:59,440 --> 01:16:03,340
No, I'm sort of like a guy about sex.
I prefer to be detached.
902
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:06,506
You think that's what guys are like?
903
01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:12,110
"You are here"?
904
01:16:12,560 --> 01:16:15,982
I see that poster everywhere,
and I fucking hate it.
905
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:18,991
Why would you ever teach
a child they don't matter?
906
01:16:20,240 --> 01:16:21,900
Did you feel you mattered?
907
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:23,750
I know I mattered.
908
01:16:25,800 --> 01:16:28,380
So who detached from you?
909
01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:32,869
Right. You know what?
910
01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:37,024
This is not going to work.
This is not about talking.
911
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:54,989
"You want a knuckle sandwich?"
912
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:00,623
You want a knuckle sandwich?
913
01:17:01,360 --> 01:17:02,825
You want a knuckle sandwich?
914
01:17:04,720 --> 01:17:07,141
Go, go, go! Go get in the car.
915
01:17:08,080 --> 01:17:09,060
Get in the car.
916
01:17:09,160 --> 01:17:10,750
Get the fuck out of here!
917
01:17:11,040 --> 01:17:12,301
Fucking whore!
918
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:14,662
I'm going to kill you!
919
01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:19,740
I'll kick your ass with my new boots,
you fucking asshole.
920
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:21,351
Thank you, baby.
921
01:17:42,560 --> 01:17:44,020
"Eggs and bacon."
922
01:17:44,120 --> 01:17:46,348
You want some eggs and bacon?
923
01:17:48,440 --> 01:17:49,541
Baby?
924
01:18:01,080 --> 01:18:03,660
No more rain, no more pain.
925
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:10,140
"Even a child with normal feet
was in love with the world...
926
01:18:10,240 --> 01:18:13,230
"...after he had got
a new pair of shoes."
927
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:15,669
Flannery O'Connor.
928
01:18:17,320 --> 01:18:19,070
And Cheryl Strayed.
929
01:18:44,960 --> 01:18:48,746
The ashes of a body
aren't really like ashes from a fire.
930
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:51,586
Soft and silky, they're more like...
931
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:55,946
pale pebbles mixed
with a gritty gray gravel.
932
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,585
I spread most of them around her grave.
933
01:19:03,320 --> 01:19:05,104
But some of the larger chunks...
934
01:19:06,040 --> 01:19:07,505
I put in my mouth...
935
01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:09,785
and I swallowed whole.
936
01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:14,020
Then I moved to Portland...
937
01:19:15,680 --> 01:19:17,350
with crazy Joe.
938
01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:20,948
The first time I smoked heroin...
939
01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:22,671
I laughed like a child...
940
01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:26,504
and twirled around
in my mother's jewelry box.
941
01:19:29,760 --> 01:19:31,540
Then we snorted it.
942
01:19:31,640 --> 01:19:33,788
But we were never going to shoot it.
943
01:19:34,480 --> 01:19:35,581
Never.
944
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,100
The first time I shot up, I begged.
945
01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:43,220
More, more, more!
946
01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:46,071
How do you like it, how do you like it?
947
01:19:53,880 --> 01:19:56,142
The day after my birthday...
948
01:19:56,720 --> 01:19:58,780
a man asked me for money.
949
01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:01,631
That's what I want
950
01:20:18,240 --> 01:20:20,183
A week after that...
951
01:20:21,360 --> 01:20:24,384
somebody finally
wished me happy birthday.
952
01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:32,980
Heroin? Of all the stupid,
selfish things!
953
01:20:33,080 --> 01:20:35,342
Why are you doing this to yourself?
954
01:20:35,760 --> 01:20:36,980
Don't you fucking touch me!
955
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:38,420
Don't play this game!
956
01:20:38,520 --> 01:20:41,180
Why did you even come?
I didn't ask you to!
957
01:20:41,280 --> 01:20:42,660
You just want to be the hero!
958
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:44,191
Yeah, maybe!
959
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:49,340
Why did you come here?
960
01:20:49,440 --> 01:20:50,871
Because!
961
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:55,431
Just because.
962
01:21:11,880 --> 01:21:13,311
Fuck it.
963
01:21:25,480 --> 01:21:27,389
Where is this fucking tank?
964
01:21:45,280 --> 01:21:46,427
No.
965
01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:48,741
No!
966
01:22:02,680 --> 01:22:03,781
Shit.
967
01:23:20,680 --> 01:23:22,703
Don't fucking die here.
968
01:24:06,080 --> 01:24:07,511
Thirty minutes.
969
01:24:07,680 --> 01:24:09,782
Fucking iodine pills.
970
01:24:49,240 --> 01:24:50,705
You got any water?
971
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:56,784
I'd give you some of mine,
but it's not ready.
972
01:24:57,040 --> 01:25:00,064
It takes about half an hour...
with an iodine pill.
973
01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:02,702
But you have to filter it first.
974
01:25:03,240 --> 01:25:04,865
We don't have a filter.
975
01:25:06,360 --> 01:25:07,905
You can use mine.
976
01:25:08,560 --> 01:25:10,025
Do you have a bottle?
977
01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:12,543
Got an empty beer can.
978
01:25:12,960 --> 01:25:14,186
Okay.
979
01:25:23,840 --> 01:25:25,749
What are you doing out here?
980
01:25:26,080 --> 01:25:27,750
Hiking the PCT.
981
01:25:33,040 --> 01:25:36,110
So how can we kill the time?
982
01:25:37,600 --> 01:25:39,031
I can think of some ways.
983
01:25:40,160 --> 01:25:42,661
She's got a real nice figure,
doesn't she?
984
01:25:45,000 --> 01:25:46,860
I have to get going.
985
01:25:46,960 --> 01:25:49,825
Sit down.
We're just messing with your head.
986
01:25:58,560 --> 01:26:00,424
We need to get going, too.
987
01:26:06,280 --> 01:26:07,460
Thank you much.
988
01:26:07,560 --> 01:26:08,707
Yeah.
989
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:15,666
Thought you were heading out.
990
01:27:18,360 --> 01:27:20,144
I changed my mind.
991
01:27:21,200 --> 01:27:23,029
Tried to trick us?
992
01:27:24,280 --> 01:27:26,508
No, I changed my mind.
993
01:27:28,040 --> 01:27:29,824
Changed your clothes, too.
994
01:27:30,800 --> 01:27:32,265
I like your pants.
995
01:27:33,160 --> 01:27:34,785
They look good on you.
996
01:27:35,520 --> 01:27:38,942
Show off your hips and legs
and tight little ass.
997
01:27:40,320 --> 01:27:42,180
Please don't say that.
998
01:27:42,280 --> 01:27:45,190
Can't a guy give a girl
a compliment anymore?
999
01:27:48,280 --> 01:27:49,711
Thank you.
1000
01:27:55,800 --> 01:27:57,780
What the hell are you doing?
1001
01:27:57,880 --> 01:28:01,746
I thought you were lost.
Get your ass over here, let's go!
1002
01:28:05,520 --> 01:28:08,305
Here's to a young girl
alone in the woods.
1003
01:29:14,360 --> 01:29:16,110
Hello, Oregon cow.
1004
01:29:31,480 --> 01:29:34,584
Look out of any window
1005
01:29:35,080 --> 01:29:38,980
Any morning, any evening
1006
01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:41,387
Any day
1007
01:29:43,160 --> 01:29:46,582
Maybe the sun is shining
1008
01:29:46,800 --> 01:29:48,743
Birds are winging
1009
01:29:48,880 --> 01:29:52,462
Rain is falling from a heavy sky
1010
01:29:55,160 --> 01:29:57,911
What do you want me to do
1011
01:29:58,520 --> 01:30:02,705
To do for you to see you through...
1012
01:30:36,520 --> 01:30:38,460
That shade looks nice on you.
1013
01:30:38,560 --> 01:30:39,946
Oh, you think?
1014
01:30:40,520 --> 01:30:41,860
Oh, my.
1015
01:30:43,880 --> 01:30:45,940
Do you mind if I say something?
1016
01:30:46,040 --> 01:30:47,187
Sure.
1017
01:30:47,640 --> 01:30:50,100
The nicest lipstick in the world
can't help a girl
1018
01:30:50,200 --> 01:30:53,304
if she doesn't take care
of her personal hygiene.
1019
01:30:55,560 --> 01:30:57,469
I've every intention
of taking care of that.
1020
01:30:58,520 --> 01:31:01,305
It really needs to be
a priority, sweetie.
1021
01:31:18,920 --> 01:31:20,146
Hey.
1022
01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:23,301
Hey.
1023
01:31:25,160 --> 01:31:28,343
I... I work at a music club
down the street.
1024
01:31:28,920 --> 01:31:30,863
We're honoring Jerry Garcia tonight.
1025
01:31:31,600 --> 01:31:33,828
- You should come along.
- Oh. Cool.
1026
01:31:35,520 --> 01:31:36,746
What's your name?
1027
01:31:37,040 --> 01:31:38,346
Cheryl.
1028
01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:42,620
Don't worry, I don't bite.
1029
01:31:42,720 --> 01:31:44,549
I don't mind biting.
1030
01:31:46,240 --> 01:31:48,580
Oh, my God.
I can't believe I just said that.
1031
01:31:48,680 --> 01:31:51,780
I'm so sorry. I've been
on my own for a little while.
1032
01:31:51,880 --> 01:31:54,420
Not that I'm "on my own." I've been
in a lot of relationships before.
1033
01:31:54,520 --> 01:31:57,146
I've just been hiking
on my own for a while.
1034
01:31:58,400 --> 01:32:01,549
Look, I'm gonna put your name
on the guest list.
1035
01:32:02,280 --> 01:32:04,223
Hope to see you later.
1036
01:32:10,080 --> 01:32:11,511
Hi, honey.
1037
01:32:12,120 --> 01:32:14,222
Here is your Ashland box.
1038
01:32:15,280 --> 01:32:19,704
Enjoy some well-deserved rest,
but don't overdo it, okay?
1039
01:32:20,600 --> 01:32:22,668
Still a lot to hike, no?
1040
01:32:24,320 --> 01:32:26,263
I had said you can quit anytime.
1041
01:32:27,760 --> 01:32:29,580
But I take it back.
1042
01:32:29,680 --> 01:32:32,545
Call me when you get to the finish line.
1043
01:32:33,280 --> 01:32:35,100
Love and kisses, Aimee.
1044
01:32:36,360 --> 01:32:37,540
As it were your own
1045
01:32:37,640 --> 01:32:39,947
It's a hand-me-down
1046
01:32:41,960 --> 01:32:44,540
The thoughts are broken
1047
01:32:46,160 --> 01:32:49,423
Perhaps they're better
1048
01:32:50,720 --> 01:32:53,551
Left unsung
1049
01:33:01,400 --> 01:33:03,104
I don't know
1050
01:33:05,280 --> 01:33:06,660
I don't really care
1051
01:33:06,760 --> 01:33:08,100
Do I know you?
1052
01:33:08,880 --> 01:33:10,060
Thanks.
1053
01:33:10,160 --> 01:33:13,230
Let there be song
1054
01:33:14,400 --> 01:33:16,582
To fill the air
1055
01:33:18,000 --> 01:33:23,231
Ripple in still water
1056
01:33:24,840 --> 01:33:28,626
When there is no pebble tossed
1057
01:33:29,040 --> 01:33:32,303
Nor wind to blow
1058
01:35:02,800 --> 01:35:04,186
Dear Paul,
1059
01:35:04,920 --> 01:35:08,183
I woke up this morning
and wrote your name in the sand.
1060
01:35:08,920 --> 01:35:12,786
I've done that on every beach
I've been on ever since I met you.
1061
01:35:13,360 --> 01:35:15,701
But I'm not going to do it again.
1062
01:35:16,400 --> 01:35:18,309
I'm ready to move on.
1063
01:35:19,760 --> 01:35:22,022
Baby, baby, be my friend
1064
01:35:23,680 --> 01:35:26,511
I have only another
300 miles left to walk.
1065
01:35:28,320 --> 01:35:30,343
I'm desperate for it to be over.
1066
01:35:33,240 --> 01:35:35,263
But I'm terrified, too.
1067
01:35:36,800 --> 01:35:38,504
When I'm done...
1068
01:35:38,640 --> 01:35:41,141
I'll only have two dimes to my name.
1069
01:35:42,320 --> 01:35:44,661
But I'll have to start living.
1070
01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:49,588
And I'm nowhere near ready.
1071
01:36:07,000 --> 01:36:08,784
Please! Sir, wait!
1072
01:36:09,520 --> 01:36:11,270
I just closed.
1073
01:36:18,840 --> 01:36:21,100
I think you have a package
for me in there?
1074
01:36:21,200 --> 01:36:22,940
Could it wait until tomorrow?
1075
01:36:23,040 --> 01:36:26,383
It has fresh clothes and food,
and batteries I need.
1076
01:36:29,520 --> 01:36:30,860
Okay.
1077
01:36:31,840 --> 01:36:33,863
If you'll have a drink with me later.
1078
01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:37,101
Sure.
1079
01:36:42,840 --> 01:36:44,465
There you go, good-looking.
1080
01:36:45,400 --> 01:36:46,626
Thanks.
1081
01:36:47,600 --> 01:36:49,140
You like punch?
1082
01:36:49,240 --> 01:36:52,460
I make a good one. I throw
every liquor I can find into a bucket
1083
01:36:52,560 --> 01:36:54,947
and I pour a couple of cans
of juice on top.
1084
01:36:55,240 --> 01:36:56,751
Sounds good.
1085
01:37:02,400 --> 01:37:03,540
- Cheryl?
- Yeah.
1086
01:37:03,640 --> 01:37:04,980
- Oh, my God.
- We're closed, guys.
1087
01:37:05,080 --> 01:37:06,980
- "If your nerve deny you...
- "...go above your nerve."
1088
01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:08,980
- Emily Dickinson.
- Yes.
1089
01:37:09,080 --> 01:37:12,460
"I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep."
1090
01:37:12,560 --> 01:37:13,620
Walt Whitman?
1091
01:37:13,720 --> 01:37:15,300
No, that was Robert Frost.
1092
01:37:15,400 --> 01:37:17,300
The Whitman was,
"Be curious, not judgmental."
1093
01:37:17,400 --> 01:37:18,620
Yes.
1094
01:37:18,720 --> 01:37:21,140
"God is a ruthless bitch."
You left the name off.
1095
01:37:21,240 --> 01:37:23,060
- That one was me.
- You're our hero.
1096
01:37:23,160 --> 01:37:25,100
Okay, fellas, I'm shutting up now.
1097
01:37:25,200 --> 01:37:26,980
We just wanted to pick up our post?
1098
01:37:27,080 --> 01:37:29,380
No. I'm sorry. I already reopened
for the young lady here.
1099
01:37:29,480 --> 01:37:30,580
And I'm not gonna reopen again.
1100
01:37:30,680 --> 01:37:33,186
But you wouldn't really have to reopen
because you haven't closed yet.
1101
01:37:33,400 --> 01:37:35,140
And their packages are right there.
1102
01:37:35,240 --> 01:37:36,580
It's such a miserable night.
1103
01:37:36,680 --> 01:37:39,300
Whatever's in them is gonna make
the night just that much better.
1104
01:37:39,400 --> 01:37:40,831
Do you mind?
1105
01:37:46,800 --> 01:37:48,340
That your horse?
1106
01:37:48,440 --> 01:37:50,985
If you want to take her out
in the morning, she could do with it.
1107
01:37:51,120 --> 01:37:54,660
Hey, so the campsite,
is it left? Left, right?
1108
01:37:54,760 --> 01:37:56,066
Yeah.
1109
01:37:56,960 --> 01:37:58,940
Good night! I'll see you in the morning.
1110
01:37:59,040 --> 01:38:00,187
Oh.
1111
01:38:04,760 --> 01:38:05,860
Number one and number two.
1112
01:38:08,640 --> 01:38:09,820
Just a little. Just a little.
1113
01:38:13,360 --> 01:38:14,461
Wonderful!
1114
01:38:14,800 --> 01:38:18,260
So, Cheryl, how do you deal
with being on your own all the time?
1115
01:38:18,360 --> 01:38:21,380
I mean, we're with each other
and we're still sick of ourselves.
1116
01:38:22,560 --> 01:38:24,901
No. I've been to most
of the places in my head that
1117
01:38:26,320 --> 01:38:28,620
I didn't want to go to,
but I feel like there's
1118
01:38:28,720 --> 01:38:32,860
one or two that,
for whatever reason, I just...
1119
01:38:32,960 --> 01:38:34,425
I hear you.
1120
01:38:34,600 --> 01:38:39,069
There's a few girlfriends
that I'm in no hurry to think about again.
1121
01:38:42,120 --> 01:38:44,900
I think I know exactly
who you're talking about. Right?
1122
01:38:46,160 --> 01:38:48,540
I don't want to talk
about this right now.
1123
01:38:51,160 --> 01:38:54,150
Not again! Good night!
1124
01:39:13,040 --> 01:39:15,108
Just please try to do the kindest thing.
1125
01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:30,982
We don't have to do this.
1126
01:39:36,400 --> 01:39:39,629
She's been really sick for a long time.
1127
01:39:40,960 --> 01:39:43,347
There has to be another way.
1128
01:39:44,400 --> 01:39:46,700
We don't have the money to do it right.
1129
01:39:46,800 --> 01:39:48,504
We can't go to a vet.
1130
01:39:52,920 --> 01:39:55,546
Leif, she's just going to die
slowly and painfully.
1131
01:40:00,840 --> 01:40:03,181
Just please do the kindest thing.
1132
01:41:06,200 --> 01:41:08,064
Hey, brother, it's me.
1133
01:41:08,280 --> 01:41:10,781
Look, I know we don't have
a home to go back to, but...
1134
01:41:11,080 --> 01:41:14,229
I want you to know
I'm pulling you along with me.
1135
01:41:15,000 --> 01:41:17,262
It's been really hard, but
1136
01:41:17,840 --> 01:41:19,704
do me a favor, okay?
1137
01:41:20,360 --> 01:41:21,985
Walk a little?
1138
01:41:26,160 --> 01:41:27,591
I love you.
1139
01:41:28,800 --> 01:41:29,947
Bye.
1140
01:41:32,800 --> 01:41:33,981
Hey, good-looking.
1141
01:41:35,200 --> 01:41:37,580
I brought you coffee and a donut,
fresh this morning.
1142
01:41:37,680 --> 01:41:39,191
Thanks. Really.
1143
01:41:40,680 --> 01:41:43,420
Why don't you come by
for a refill before you head off?
1144
01:41:43,520 --> 01:41:45,145
I will. Thanks.
1145
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:47,107
Good morning, fellas.
1146
01:41:48,160 --> 01:41:49,944
- Morning.
- Morning.
1147
01:41:55,080 --> 01:41:57,182
So, you got a trail name?
1148
01:41:57,600 --> 01:41:59,180
You know, like a nickname.
1149
01:41:59,280 --> 01:42:01,189
We've got one for you.
1150
01:42:01,520 --> 01:42:03,543
- Really.
- Queen of the PCT.
1151
01:42:04,320 --> 01:42:05,340
Come on.
1152
01:42:05,440 --> 01:42:07,100
You've just got so many stories
1153
01:42:07,200 --> 01:42:09,740
about people doing things for you
and wanting to help you out.
1154
01:42:09,840 --> 01:42:12,060
I mean, nobody ever gives us anything.
1155
01:42:12,160 --> 01:42:14,100
No one ever does
anything for us, in fact.
1156
01:42:14,200 --> 01:42:17,700
But please, please,
come and get your refill, Your Majesty.
1157
01:42:17,800 --> 01:42:20,100
Yeah, Your Majesty
doesn't really go for refills.
1158
01:42:20,200 --> 01:42:21,860
Refills typically come to her.
1159
01:42:21,960 --> 01:42:22,940
Exactly.
1160
01:42:30,200 --> 01:42:31,665
Dude, stop.
1161
01:42:32,600 --> 01:42:35,180
Stop. Now I'm going to have
that song stuck in my head
1162
01:42:35,280 --> 01:42:37,189
for the next hundred fucking miles.
1163
01:42:37,880 --> 01:42:39,789
- Would you prefer I just...
- Don't.
1164
01:42:40,880 --> 01:42:42,141
Don't.
1165
01:42:48,640 --> 01:42:50,500
And I said hey, hey, hey...
1166
01:42:50,600 --> 01:42:51,906
Shut up, man.
1167
01:42:53,880 --> 01:42:55,948
Shut up! I'm serious.
1168
01:42:57,960 --> 01:42:59,710
I said, hey!
1169
01:43:00,040 --> 01:43:01,620
What's going on?
1170
01:43:01,720 --> 01:43:02,900
Get him. Get him!
1171
01:43:07,520 --> 01:43:08,620
I'll get you soaked!
1172
01:43:08,720 --> 01:43:11,027
I said hey, what's going on?
1173
01:43:13,200 --> 01:43:16,702
I'd rather be a forest than a street
1174
01:43:41,280 --> 01:43:42,745
It's okay.
1175
01:43:43,160 --> 01:43:44,705
You're safe.
1176
01:43:46,640 --> 01:43:48,071
It's okay.
1177
01:43:56,760 --> 01:43:58,464
You're all right.
1178
01:43:59,000 --> 01:44:00,540
Don't be scared.
1179
01:44:00,640 --> 01:44:03,584
You got him! Thanks!
1180
01:44:11,440 --> 01:44:12,905
Thanks.
1181
01:44:13,800 --> 01:44:14,780
Does he have a name?
1182
01:44:14,880 --> 01:44:16,220
Shooting Star.
1183
01:44:16,320 --> 01:44:17,420
Shooting Star?
1184
01:44:17,520 --> 01:44:19,702
And I'm Vera, and this is Kyle.
1185
01:44:21,120 --> 01:44:24,140
I'm Cheryl.
Are you enjoying your hike today?
1186
01:44:24,240 --> 01:44:27,460
I'm having a wonderful time,
thank you very much for asking.
1187
01:44:27,560 --> 01:44:29,260
You're so polite.
1188
01:44:29,360 --> 01:44:31,980
We're just out for the weekend,
rain or no.
1189
01:44:32,080 --> 01:44:33,100
Yeah.
1190
01:44:33,200 --> 01:44:34,220
Vera's my grandmom.
1191
01:44:34,320 --> 01:44:36,580
She's looking after me
because I have some problems
1192
01:44:36,680 --> 01:44:38,942
I'm not supposed
to talk about with strangers.
1193
01:44:43,760 --> 01:44:46,591
Well, you don't have to talk about them.
1194
01:44:46,920 --> 01:44:50,661
But, you know, everybody has problems.
I have problems, too.
1195
01:44:50,880 --> 01:44:52,789
What kinds of problems?
1196
01:44:53,040 --> 01:44:56,826
Well, I mean,
I have problems with my dad.
1197
01:44:57,280 --> 01:44:58,860
I don't see him anymore.
1198
01:44:58,960 --> 01:45:01,825
Me, neither. What about your mommy?
1199
01:45:04,400 --> 01:45:05,786
She died.
1200
01:45:09,880 --> 01:45:12,824
But, you know,
problems don't stay problems.
1201
01:45:13,080 --> 01:45:15,023
They turn into something else.
1202
01:45:16,240 --> 01:45:17,830
How did she die?
1203
01:45:20,800 --> 01:45:22,629
She got very sick.
1204
01:45:23,400 --> 01:45:26,663
My mother's a singer.
She's taught me many songs.
1205
01:45:27,280 --> 01:45:28,380
Oh, really?
1206
01:45:28,480 --> 01:45:30,660
Would you like to hear one?
1207
01:45:30,760 --> 01:45:31,941
Yeah.
1208
01:45:32,320 --> 01:45:36,584
From this valley
they say you are leaving
1209
01:45:37,240 --> 01:45:41,265
We shall miss your bright eyes
and sweet smile
1210
01:45:41,960 --> 01:45:46,349
For you take with you
all of the sunshine
1211
01:45:46,600 --> 01:45:50,830
That has brightened our pathway a while
1212
01:45:51,280 --> 01:45:55,305
Then come and sit
by my side if you love me
1213
01:45:55,800 --> 01:45:59,382
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
1214
01:45:59,960 --> 01:46:03,985
Just remember the Red River Valley
1215
01:46:04,160 --> 01:46:08,231
And the cowboy that loved you so true
1216
01:46:08,720 --> 01:46:13,064
Just remember the Red River Valley
1217
01:46:13,360 --> 01:46:17,385
And the cowboy that loved you so true
1218
01:46:19,480 --> 01:46:20,866
That was really beautiful.
1219
01:46:22,480 --> 01:46:23,911
Thank you.
1220
01:46:58,160 --> 01:46:59,591
I miss you.
1221
01:47:03,840 --> 01:47:05,590
God, I miss you.
1222
01:47:23,680 --> 01:47:27,671
There's no way to know what makes
one thing happen and not another.
1223
01:47:29,600 --> 01:47:31,429
What leads to what.
1224
01:47:32,800 --> 01:47:34,629
What destroys what.
1225
01:47:36,240 --> 01:47:38,422
What causes what to flourish.
1226
01:47:39,040 --> 01:47:40,346
Or die.
1227
01:47:41,040 --> 01:47:43,063
Or take another course.
1228
01:47:46,720 --> 01:47:48,822
What if I forgive myself?
1229
01:47:51,040 --> 01:47:52,949
What if I was sorry?
1230
01:47:54,560 --> 01:47:56,940
But if I could go back in time,
1231
01:47:57,040 --> 01:47:59,347
I wouldn't do
a single thing differently.
1232
01:48:02,880 --> 01:48:06,029
What if I wanted to sleep
with every single one of those men?
1233
01:48:07,840 --> 01:48:09,863
What if heroin taught me something?
1234
01:48:14,880 --> 01:48:18,348
What if all those things I did
were the things that got me here?
1235
01:48:21,800 --> 01:48:24,506
What if I was never redeemed?
1236
01:48:27,040 --> 01:48:29,268
What if I already was?
1237
01:48:47,560 --> 01:48:50,743
It took me years to be the woman
my mother raised.
1238
01:48:52,600 --> 01:48:56,261
It took me four years,
seven months and three days to do it.
1239
01:48:57,360 --> 01:48:59,064
Without her.
1240
01:49:01,440 --> 01:49:04,749
After I lost myself
in the wilderness of my grief,
1241
01:49:06,280 --> 01:49:08,382
I found my way out of the woods.
1242
01:49:16,800 --> 01:49:17,940
And I didn't even know where I was going
1243
01:49:18,040 --> 01:49:20,791
until I got there
on the last day of my hike.
1244
01:49:22,960 --> 01:49:26,507
Thank you, I thought
over and over again,
1245
01:49:26,960 --> 01:49:28,824
for everything the trail had taught me,
1246
01:49:29,080 --> 01:49:31,660
and everything I couldn't yet know.
1247
01:49:36,000 --> 01:49:38,467
How, in four years,
I'd cross this very bridge.
1248
01:49:39,320 --> 01:49:43,505
I'd marry a man in a spot almost visible
from where I was standing.
1249
01:49:45,000 --> 01:49:46,860
How, in nine years, that man and I
1250
01:49:46,960 --> 01:49:49,060
would have a son named Carver,
1251
01:49:49,160 --> 01:49:53,424
and a year later, a daughter
named after my mother, Bobbi.
1252
01:49:56,840 --> 01:49:58,100
I knew only that I didn't need to
1253
01:49:58,200 --> 01:50:00,620
reach with my bare hands anymore.
1254
01:50:00,720 --> 01:50:04,541
That seeing the fish beneath
the surface of the water was enough.
1255
01:50:04,800 --> 01:50:07,267
That it was everything.
1256
01:50:08,480 --> 01:50:11,470
My life, like all lives,
1257
01:50:12,880 --> 01:50:16,143
mysterious, irrevocable and sacred.
1258
01:50:17,520 --> 01:50:19,145
So very close.
1259
01:50:21,160 --> 01:50:22,864
So very present.
1260
01:50:25,360 --> 01:50:27,428
So very belonging to me.
1261
01:50:29,560 --> 01:50:32,664
How wild it was... to let it be.
1262
01:50:33,720 --> 01:50:38,667
I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
1263
01:50:39,520 --> 01:50:42,021
Yes, I would
1264
01:50:42,840 --> 01:50:45,341
If I could
1265
01:50:45,640 --> 01:50:48,823
I surely would
1266
01:50:53,200 --> 01:50:58,750
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
1267
01:50:59,080 --> 01:51:01,421
Yes, I would
1268
01:51:01,840 --> 01:51:04,546
If I only could
1269
01:51:05,040 --> 01:51:07,825
I surely would
1270
01:51:12,600 --> 01:51:17,627
Away, I'd rather sail away
1271
01:51:18,600 --> 01:51:21,220
Like a swan
1272
01:51:21,320 --> 01:51:24,822
That's here and gone
1273
01:51:25,520 --> 01:51:30,501
A man gets tied up to the ground
1274
01:51:31,120 --> 01:51:34,260
He gives the world
1275
01:51:34,360 --> 01:51:40,183
Its saddest sound
1276
01:51:48,120 --> 01:51:52,589
I'd rather be a forest than a street
1277
01:51:54,280 --> 01:51:56,860
Yes, I would
1278
01:51:57,560 --> 01:52:00,420
If I could
1279
01:52:00,520 --> 01:52:03,351
I surely would
1280
01:52:04,480 --> 01:52:08,790
I'd rather feel
the earth beneath my feet
1281
01:52:10,440 --> 01:52:13,260
Yes, I would
1282
01:52:13,360 --> 01:52:16,580
If I only could
1283
01:52:16,680 --> 01:52:19,704
I surely would
1284
01:53:06,520 --> 01:53:08,500
As the sun comes up
1285
01:53:08,600 --> 01:53:10,660
As the moon goes down
1286
01:53:10,760 --> 01:53:15,060
These heavy notions creep around
1287
01:53:15,160 --> 01:53:18,104
It makes me think
1288
01:53:19,040 --> 01:53:20,904
Long ago
1289
01:53:23,440 --> 01:53:26,100
I was brought into this life
1290
01:53:26,200 --> 01:53:31,306
A little lamb, a little lamb
1291
01:53:31,560 --> 01:53:34,903
Courageous, stumbling
1292
01:53:35,440 --> 01:53:39,306
Fearless was my middle name
1293
01:53:39,520 --> 01:53:44,340
But somewhere there I lost my way
1294
01:53:44,440 --> 01:53:48,460
Everyone walks the same
1295
01:53:48,560 --> 01:53:52,824
Expecting me to step
1296
01:53:52,960 --> 01:53:57,300
The narrow path they've laid
1297
01:53:57,400 --> 01:54:02,100
They claim to walk unafraid
1298
01:54:02,200 --> 01:54:06,420
I'll be clumsy instead
1299
01:54:06,520 --> 01:54:12,024
Hold me, love me or leave me
1300
01:54:12,440 --> 01:54:15,669
High
1301
01:54:16,280 --> 01:54:20,590
Say keep within the boundaries
1302
01:54:21,200 --> 01:54:24,270
If you want to play
1303
01:54:25,120 --> 01:54:31,227
Say contradiction only makes it harder
1304
01:54:33,640 --> 01:54:36,584
How can I be
1305
01:54:38,680 --> 01:54:41,829
What I want to be?
1306
01:54:43,520 --> 01:54:48,980
When all I want to do is strip away
1307
01:54:49,080 --> 01:54:51,220
These stilled constraints
1308
01:54:51,320 --> 01:54:54,740
And crush this charade
1309
01:54:54,840 --> 01:54:59,100
Shred this sad masquerade
1310
01:54:59,200 --> 01:55:04,260
I don't need no persuading
1311
01:55:04,360 --> 01:55:08,900
I'll trip, fall, pick myself up and
1312
01:55:09,000 --> 01:55:12,220
Walk unafraid
1313
01:55:12,320 --> 01:55:16,106
I'll be clumsy instead
1314
01:55:16,360 --> 01:55:21,990
Hold me, love me or leave me
1315
01:55:22,200 --> 01:55:25,668
High
90230
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