Original subtitles

Lubinski, Kubinski...

Lominski, Rozanski, and Poznanski.

We 're in Warsaw, the capital of Poland.

It's August 1939.

Europe is still at peace.

At the moment, life in Warsaw is going on...

as normally as ever.

But suddenly something seems to have happened!

Are those Poles seeing a ghost? Why does this car suddenly stop?

Everybody seems to be staring in one direction.

People seem frightened, even terrified - some flabbergasted.

Can it be true? It must be true. No doubt'.

The man with the little mustache - Adolf Hitler.

Adolf Hitler in Warsaw, when the two countries are still at peace?

And all by himself?

He seems strangely unconcerned by all the excitement he's causing.

Is he interested in Mr. Maslowski's delicatessen?

That's impossible. He's a vegetarian.

And yet he doesn't always stick to his diet.

Sometimes he swallows whole countries.

Does he want to eat up Poland too?

Anyhow, how did he get here? What happened?

Well, it all started in the general headquarters...

of the Gestapo in Berlin.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler. Heil Hitler!

Colonel, we have Wilhelm Kuntze here, if you'd like to look into his record.

- I hope he 'll talk. - He'd better.

- Send him in. - Yes, sir.

- Wilhelm Kuntze! - Wilhelm Kuntze!

Wilhelm Kuntze!

- Heil Hitler! - Heil Hitler.

Wilhelm, I understand you want a little tank to play with, huh?

Yes. My father promised me one if I got a good report card.

But our Fuhrer heard about your report card...

and decided to give you just what you want.

Heil Hitler!

- Heil Hitler! - Heil Hitler!

You are going to tell your father who gave it to you, aren't you?

Sure, our Fuhrer.

And then maybe he will like the Fuhrer a little better?

- Sure. - He, uh -

- He doesn't like him now, does he? - No.

And, uh, sometimes he even says funny things about him, doesn't he?

Well, he said they named a brandy after Napoleon...

and they made a herring out of Bismarck...

- and Hitler's going to end up as - - A piece of cheese.

- Yes. - Yes. How did you know?

Well, it's a - it's a natural thought.

Oh. A natural thought?

L- I hope you don't misunderstand. I always - That is -

W-Well, you see, Colonel - I hope you don't doubt my -

- Heil Hitler! - Heil Hitler! - Heil Hitler!

Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler!

Der fuhrer!

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler!

Heil myself.

That's not in the script!

But, Mr. Dobosh, please.

- That's not in the script, Mr. Bronski! - But it'll get a laugh.

I don't want a laugh here! How many times have I told you not to add any line?

- I want - - You want my opinion?

No, Mr. Greenberg, I do not.

Then let me give you my reaction. A laugh is nothing to be sneezed at.

I hired you as an actor and not as a writer, understand?

- What does the script say? - I make an entrance.

- And what do you say? - Nothing.

- Then say nothing! - Let's gel going with this rehearsal.

- I ha ve to pla y Hamle! tonight. - Here am I, waiting for my scene...

all eager to go, and I have to wait and wait...

and be driven out of my mood...

just because two little actors want to enlarge their parts.

Mr. Rawitch, what you are, I wouldn't eat.

How dare you call me a ham?

Folks, I want everybody to understand this.

This is a serious play, a realistic drama.

- Good morning, Dobosh. - Good morning.

- How do you like my dress? - Very good.

It is a document of Nazi Ger-Is that what you're going to wear in the concentration camp?

- Don't you think it's pretty? - That's just it.

Why not? I think it's a tremendous contrast.

Think of me being flogged in the darkness. I scream.

The lights go on, and the audience discovers me on the floor in this gorgeous dress.

- That's a terrific laugh. - That's right, Greenberg.

You keep out of this! That a great star, an artist, could be so inartistic!

- You must be out of your mind! - What do you mean by talking to my wife like that? How dare you!

I'm sorry. I lost my temper.

Sweetheart, the dress stinks.

You're only afraid I'm running away with the scene.

- Afraid? Why should I be? - Of course not.

You're the greatest actor in the world. Everybody knows that, including you.

- Don't be a prima donna. - Whenever there's a chance to take the spotlight -

It's becoming ridiculous, the way you grab attention.

a story, you finish it.

If I diet, you lose weight. If I have a cold, you cough.

- And if we ever have a baby, I'm not sure I'd be the mother. - I'm satisfied to be the father.

Mr. Dobosh, look. If you'll just give me a chance -

Who made you up?

I did, Mr. Dobosh.

What's wrong with it?

I don't know. It's not convincing.

- He's just a man with a little mustache. - But so is Hitler.

It's not just the mustache.

- It's something - I don't know - I just can't smell Hitler in him. - I can.

I know! I know!

That picture! That's what he should look like!

- But that picture was taken of me. - Then the picture's wrong too.

Now, see here, Mr. Dobosh.

I'm a nobody, and I have to take a lot.

But I know I look like Hitler, and I'm gonna prove it right now.

I'm going out on the street and see what happens.

And that's how Adolf Hitler came to Warsaw in August 1939.

May I have your autograph, Mr. Bronski?

- Why, certainly. - Bronski?

♪ Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi ♪

I know it would get a laugh.

When Dobosh said to me, “Bronski, you're going to play Hitler"...

I thought that was the real start of my career.

Don't worry, Bronski. They can't keep real talent down forever.

And the day will come when you'll play Shylock.

The Rialto scene.

Shakespeare must have thought of me when he wrote this. it's me.

Have I not eyes? Have I not hands?

Organs? Senses? Dimensions?

Affections? Passions? Fed with the same food?

Hurt with the same weapons?

Subject to the same diseases?

If you prick us, do we not bleed?

If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

If you poison us, do we not die?

You'd move 'em to tears.

Instead I have to carry a spear.

carry a spear.

Carry a spear in the first act. Carry a spear in the second.

Carry Rawitch off the scene in the last.

- How I'd love to drop that ham right - in the center of the stage. - It would get a terrific laugh.

Hello? This is Mr. Tura.

Will you please order me a salami-and-cheese sandwich and a beer?

Right away, please. Thank you.

- Audience is a little cool tonight. - Not to me.

Oh, I know I'm giving a rotten performance.

I always do when we quarrel. Say something nice.

You faker.

I watched your scene with Polonius. You were never better.

I'd give you a kiss, but I might ruin my makeup.

Darling, you were right this morning.

I felt so rotten after the rehearsal, I went to Dobosh and told him...

when he advertises the new play, to put your name first.

Did you, darling? That's sweet of you...

but I really don't care.

That's what Dobosh said, so we left it as it was.

Oh.

But, darling, you know how I feel about you.

Why, I'd even -

- Flowers, eh? - Aren't they beautiful?

- Don't be casual. Who sent them? - There wasn't any card.

Again? That's three nights in succession. Who is he?

I'm sure this has nothing to do with me personally.

This man is probably in love with the theater. An art fanatic.

Someone sitting up in the gallery night after night.

One of those poor boys who hasn't the price of a ticket...

but inherited a lot of flowers and is trying to get rid of them!

Three nights in a row!

Even Shakespeare couldn't stand seeing Hamlet three nights in succession.

- You forget you're playing Hamlet. - Oh. That's right.

Mr. Tura, on stage.

Darling, I'm going into my big scene.

Joseph, sweetheart, I swear I don't know who it is.

Thanks, darling.

It's true, Anna. I don't know who it is...

but I'm positive who it might be.

- That young aviator? - Yes, he's very young.

He's in the second row again. He gets better-looking every night.

Don't misunderstand me. I love my husband dearly, and why not?

He's wonderful, only he gets so unreasonable, so upset about little things.

Like the little thing in the second row.

I'm waiting for an answer.

“Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski.”

I was right. It is the young aviator.

- Is he suffering very much? - Yes. He had to break his silence.

- He couldn't bear it any longer. - No, he couldn't.

- Poor little thing. - Yes, just a mere boy.

Oh, no, no, no.

What's he want you to do, adopt him?

He's dying to see me, even for a minute.

Of course I won't. Definitely not.

Yet I don't like to be rude.

It's a mistake to ignore people who admire one and who buy the tickets.

Darling, don't waste any more time with excuses.

If you want to see him, see him while he's still young.

Yes, I think I owe it to my public.

“Dear Lieutenant" -

Wait till you see him, Anna.

“Unfortunately, my time is completely taken up...

but if you insist on seeing me, come back to my dressing room...

when Hamlet goes into his soliloquy 'To be or not to be."'

- How does it sound, Ann? - Safe.

O heavy burthen!

I hear him coming. Let's withdraw, my lord.

“To be or not to be.”

To be...

that is -

that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind...

to suffer the slings and arrows...

of outrageous fortune...

or to take arms -

Thank you, Mrs. Tura, for receiving me.

If you knew how I was looking forward to this moment.

- Now you're probably disappointed. - Oh, Mrs. Tura!

- Please sit down. - Thank you.

So you're the gentleman that sent me those lovely flowers. Thank you.

Somehow I pictured you as a dignified old gentleman...

and now I see you...

I wonder if it was really right to ask you back here.

I never see strangers in my dressing room.

But you're no stranger to me. I've seen you in everything you ever played.

I'll never forget how I laughed when I saw you as Kiki.

Yes, some people thought I was funny.

But you certainly weren't funny when you played Lady Macbeth.

- Thank you. - I was really scared of you that night.

Of poor little me? I wouldn't hurt a fly.

Or a goldfish.

- By the way, how is he? - Who?

- The goldfish. - What goldfish?

The one you're so attached to.

You see, I read all your interviews.

Oh, yes! Yes, of course!

And when I saw that picture of you on the farm, you behind the plow -

- By the way, where was that? - In the Chronicle.

No, I mean, where is the farm?

Now, I think we've talked much too much about me.

Tell me about yourself.

Well, there isn't much to tell. I just fly a bomber.

How perfectly thrilling!

I don't know about thrilling, but it's quite a bomber.

I can drop three tons of dynamite in two minutes.

Really?

- Does that interest you? - It certainly does.

I don't want to overstep myself, but I'll take a chance.

- Would you permit me to show you my plane? - Maybe.

- When shall I call for you? - Tomorrow at 2:00 at my home.

No, I'd better meet you right at the airport.

- Good-bye. - Mm.

I hope you forgive me if I acted a little clumsy...

but this is the first time I ever met an actress.

Lieutenant, this is the first time I've ever met a man...

who could drop three tons of dynamite in two minutes. Bye.

Bye!

Tomorrow at 2:00, I'm going to look down on Warsaw.

He's going to take me up 10,000 feet.

I don't think there's anything wrong in that, do you?

Not at all, as long as Tura doesn't find out.

After all, what a husband doesn't know won't hurt his wife.

It happened -

what every actor dreads.

What, darling? What?

- Someone walked out on me. - Ohh.

Tell me, Maria, am I losing my grip?

Of course not, darling. I'm so sorry.

But he walked out on me.

Maybe he didn't feel well. Maybe he had to leave.

Maybe he had a sudden heart attack.

- I hope so. - If he stayed, he might have died.

Maybe he's dead already. Darling, you're so comforting.

- What's going on? - Hitler's speaking to the Reichstag.

How do you do, Mr. Dobosh?

How do you do, Doctor? This is Dr. Voyowski from the Foreign Office.

How do you do, gentlemen?

I'm afraid I have bad news.

The government fears it would be unwise to go on with this play.

You mean we cannot open tonight?

I'm afraid that's what it comes down to.

- But why? - Yes, why?

- We have a right to know. - I know the play has artistic value.

- It has much more than that. - That's exactly what the government is afraid of.

It, uh, might offend Hitler.

Well, wouldn't that be too bad!

Have you ever read what he says about us?

I'm sorry, gentlemen, but the order is final.

To be or not to be:

that is -

that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in mind...

to suffer the slings and arrows...

of outrageous fortune -

Anna, I'd like to speak to Mrs. Tura alone.

Look, Stanislav, I usually tell my maid when to leave.

I have so much to tell you. In the plane we can't talk.

In the tearoom we can't do anything but talk. Maria -

And in the dressing room, we must be very careful of my makeup.

You know, Maria, the other day in the plane...

you didn't think I was watching, but I saw you looking at me.

It was a very sympathetic look, l thought

I had the feeling you like me. Was I wrong?

No, not at all, Stanislav.

Tell me, Maria. Be frank. You still like me?

Well, of course.

You still like me, huh? You think you'll always like me?

Well, I don't see any reason why not.

That's wonderful! What are we going to do with your husband?

What?

- We must tell him, of course. - Tell him what?

That we love each other, that we're mad about each other.

He has no right to stand in our way.

I'm sure he'll realize the situation. So will Mr. Dobosh.

- Where does he come in? - You don't want to stay on the stage.

No, I wouldn't let you. That's out. You're tired of it anyway.

You want a quiet life. You said so in the Chronicle.

Darling, you're really going to enjoy that farm now.

You won't have to use that plow. I'll buy you a tractor.

I'll build a swimming pool for your goldfish.

Stanislav, you're a darling, but you don't seem to realize I'm married.

- That's why I want to talk to your husband. - I love my husband.

Oh, no, you don't. You're just decent.

You're kind, and you feel sorry for him.

Don't you worry. It's a situation between men.

- I'll wait here for him. - Stanislav, you must listen to me.

This is probably my fault, but you must understand -

- Mrs. Tura! - Stay out, Anna!

It's war!

“Without any declaration of war...

German troops crossed our border at several points this evening.”

Without a word of warning.

They'll pay before they're through. We're gonna fight 'em.

War. It's really war.

People are gonna kill each other and be killed.

Stanislav -

Good-bye, Maria.

Stanislav, come back.

I have to.

I have to see you again.

- Maria, have you heard? - Yes, it's war.

- It seems impossible. It's incredible. - Does the audience know yet?

- No, I have to make an announcement. - It's a conspiracy! A foul conspiracy!

It's worse than that. It's a crime.

Absolutely right! Walking out on me for the second time!

- What are you talking about? - Don't you understand? It's war!

It's an air alarm!

Close the windows!

[ Clamoring 1

Well, we don't have to worry about the Nazi play anymore.

The Nazis are putting on the show now - a much bigger one.

There's no censor to stop them.

Unhappy Poland...

attacked without a word of warning by a ruthless conqueror.

Warsaw destroyed...

for the sake of destruction.

The curtain had fallen on the Polish drama...

a tragedy with no relief in sight.

There was a Nazi tank...

against every Polish hope...

and the people were stunned and helpless.

There was no censor to stop them.

If you prick us, do we not bleed?

If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

If you poison us...

do we not die?

What a Shylock you would have been.

All I had to do...

was to carry a spear.

I wonder if we'll ever carry a spear again.

Let's hope so.

But a new spirit had come over the people of Poland.

Hate and more hate was the answer to the Nazi terror.

Rebellion against suppression, determination...

to fight at any moment, anywhere, everywhere.

The battle was on. V!

V! V for victory!

Down with the Nazis. Down with Hitler.

The Warsaw underground striking back. Sabotage...

destruction.

But the real fight for Polish freedom...

was led somewhere in England.

Young men of Poland avenging their country.

The Polish Squadron of the RAF.

♪ A bomber was leaving its space for Berlin ♪

♪ With a cargo of gifts from the boys ♪

♪ There was one for old Hitler packed full of AG ♪

♪ An especially big one for old Hermann G ♪

♪ So here's to the bombs big and small ♪

♪ We'll send 'em a cheer as they fall ♪

♪ We'll never be seated till Hitler's defeated ♪

♪ So cheer up, my lads Bless them all N'

Gentlemen, it's gratifying to see you still keep your sense of humor.

Oh, we are even much funnier over Berlin.

I wish I were young enough to do for our country what you're doing.

Come on, Professor. One of your radio speeches is worth 10,000 bombs.

When do we hear you again, Professor Siletsky?

Well, I'm afraid it might be quite some time.

Why? What's the matter?

Oh, nothing. I just happen to be going on a little trip.

And anybody that buys a return ticket these days is decidedly an optimist.

You're going on a secret mission.

I see it's no use. You boys are too clever for me.

I know. He's going to Berlin to call on Hitler.

Not exactly, and I certainly hope Hitler doesn't call on me.

Thank you for honoring me with an excellent dinner -

- Are you by any chance going to Warsaw? - That'd be risking your neck.

You boys risk your lives every day, don't you?

So you are going to Warsaw.

Gentlemen, please, I can't tell you any more.

- I'm sorry I mentioned it. - Oh, but you didn't.

We got it out of you.

Well, if I can't trust you, whom can I trust?

And I know it will be buried right here.

Warsaw.

I'd give my soul to be there for just one hour to see my mother...

if she's still alive.

I wish it were possible for me to find out.

- Could you find out about my mother? - My sister -

I understand exactly how you feel, but you must realize...

I cannot jeopardize the purpose of my trip.

Why don't you tell me where I can reach your people...

and I'll try my best.

- Professor Siletsky. - Yes.

My people are fortunately out of Poland, but...

well, there is someone in Warsaw -

- Oh, a lady? - Yes.

It's a very confidential matter.

Professor, I'd appreciate it if you'd tell her -

- But don't tell her husband. - Now I know exactly what to tell her.

Just say, “To be or not to be

- She knows. - A code message, eh?

- Yeah. - What's the name of the lady?

It's Maria Tura.

Just a moment. I'll write it down.

Now, what did you say the name was?

- Maria Tura. - T-U-R-A.

Is that correct?

Don't tell me you never heard of Maria Tura.

Why? Should I?

Well, you lived in Warsaw.

Oh, yes. Of course. The name is familiar. She's quite well-known.

Well-known? She's famous.

Yes, indeed.

Here, Professor, is the name of my brother.

- I hope you can read the writing. - Thanks very much.

- All right. - Lieutenant?

- How do you do, sir? - General Armstrong, Major Cunningham.

How do you do? What do you want to see me about?

I was thinking about coming here for a couple of days.

I'm probably doing an injustice to an important man -

- Whom do you suspect? - You see, sir...

the other night, Professor Siletsky was addressing us at the camp...

and I mentioned the name Maria Tura, and he'd never heard of her.

- Neither have I. - But he's supposed to be a Pole...

who lived in Warsaw, and she's the most famous actress in Warsaw.

Lots of people are not interested in the theater.

As a matter of fact, there's only one actress I ever heard of...

and I certainly hope I'll never hear from her again.

But Maria Tura's more than an actress. She's an institution.

You couldn't buy a newspaper without reading about her.

You couldn't buy a package of cigarettes without her picture inside. They name soap after her.

You couldn't move around in Warsaw without popping into Maria Tura.

I thought it was my duty to tell you before the professor leaves.

- He left already, didn't he? - Yes, he was due in Sweden yesterday.

Just a minute. How did you know he was leaving?

- He told us. - Told you what?

- That he was going to Warsaw. - That seems incredible.

We were all Poles together, and nobody saw anything wrong in it.

Otherwise, the boys wouldn't have given him the addresses.

- What addresses? - Of relatives in Warsaw.

- And he took them? - Yes, sir.

How could he do such a thing? If they fall into the hands of the Gestapo...

they can take reprisals against all the families.

When does Professor Siletsky get to Warsaw?

He probably took the boat today for Lithuania...

and from Lithuania, that's uncertain.

- I should say three or four days. - How long will it take you to fly to Warsaw?

Six or seven hours, sir.

- Do you mind waiting outside? - Yes, sir.

I hate to believe it.

So do I, sir, but we can't take any chances.

The fellow came here with the highest recommendations possible.

And we checked again and again, sir.

This man's carrying instructions to the underground in Warsaw.

If he delivers them to the Gestapo instead of the underground...

it means not only the death of hundreds...

but the complete destruction of our organization in Eastern Europe.

But I hate to condemn a man on such vague evidence.

We're not condemning him.

When Siletsky told those fliers of his trip to Warsaw...

he wrote his own sentence.

Of course, he may be just a fool.

Then he's just as dangerous. And I know Siletsky.

He's no fool.

Well, sir, what are your orders?

- Call in the young man. - Yes, sir.

Now, look here, Lieutenant. As soon as you get to Warsaw...

go to Sztaluga's bookstore and give him our instructions.

Sztaluga will then inform the underground.

But if someone happens to be in the store, don't mention anything.

Just' ask for a copy of Tolstoy Anna Karenina...

and put Siletsky's picture on page 105.

- Now, is that clear? - Yes, sir.

- Ten minutes. - All right.

Good luck.

Halt!

Too bad we missed him.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Have you by any chance Anna Karenina by Tolstoy?

I think I have.

Anna Kar-Yes.

Here it is.

- How much is it? - Twenty zloty.

That's much too expensive. I'm sorry.

- Good-bye. - Good-bye.

We'll take these ten. How much is this?

Eight zloty, seventy-five.

- Good-bye. - Good-bye, gentlemen.

- Good-bye. - Come again.

Yes? Can I help you gentlemen?

- We are looking for Mrs. Maria Tura. - I am Mrs. Tura.

You have to come along with us.

I haven't done anything. Why do they want me?

Just come along. Let's go.

205, 206.

Mrs. Tura is here, sir.

Yes, sir.

- Let her wait in 206. - Yes, sir.

- Good evening, Mrs. Tura. - Good evening.

I am Professor Siletsky.

It's a great pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Tura.

Won't you sit down?

- Cigarette? - Thank you.

I really must apologize for the manner in which you were brought here.

When a man wants to see a lady so badly...

he backs up his invitation with bayonets, it's rather flattering.

That's very well put.

But as a matter of fact, I'm not responsible for your being brought here.

There's a charming young man in England...

gave me a message for you, a rather strange message.

“To be or not to be.”

- You no doubt know its deeper meaning. - I have a vague idea.

I really -

You'll forgive me, please.

Hello?

Yes.

Oh, how do you do, Colonel Ehrhardt?

Yes, the trip was a little bumpy...

but I'm certainly glad you sent that plane to Sweden.

Otherwise -

Whenever you wish. Of course.

10:00 tomorrow morning at Gestapo headquarters unless I hear from you tonight.

Very well.

I'm looking forward to making your acquaintance.

Good-bye, Colonel.

- I'm sorry. - Well, I won't keep you any longer.

Thank you for the charming message.

Mrs. Tura, you're an actress, aren't you?

Yes.

Naturally, in the theater it's important that you choose the right part.

Very“!-

But in real life, it's even more important that you choose the right side.

The right side?

Well, what is the right side?

The winning side.

I don't quite understand.

Well, here in Warsaw, there are a lot of people we know very well...

and a lot we don't know quite so well

and would like to know a great deal better.

That's where you could help us, Mrs. Tura.

You want me to be a spy!

Now, come, come. That's rather a crude word.

I once played a spy. It was a great success. I had wonderful notices.

- It was really an exciting part. - Wouldn't it be exciting to play it in real life?

I got shot in the last act. I suppose that happens to most spies.

My dear Mrs. Tura, we would never dream of subjecting...

anybody as charming as you to danger.

All you'd have to do would be to entertain a little.

For instance, invite certain people to your home.

I could see myself giving a great banquet in my one-room mansion.

They took my lovely apartment away from me.

That can be very easily remedied.

Life could be made very comfortable for you again, Mrs. Tura.

Well, what do you say?

Naturally, it's all very attractive and tempting...

but what are we going to do about my conscience?

Well, we've simply got to convince you...

you're going to serve the right cause.

I wonder if you really know what Nazism stands for.

I have a slight idea.

In the final analysis, all we're trying to do is create a happy world.

And people who don't want to be happy have no place in this happy world.

- That makes sense. - We're not brutal. We're not monsters.

Tell me, do I look like a monster?

Of course not, Professor.

You say that as though you really meant it.

- I do. - We're just like other people.

We love to sing, we love to dance...

we admire beautiful women.

We're human...

and sometimes... very human.

I'm convinced of that.

Why don't you stay here for dinner?

I can imagine nothing more charming.

And before the evening is over, I'm sure you'll say “Heil Hitler.”

I would like to accept your invitation...

but just as you want to represent the Nazi case in the best light...

I would like to represent the Polish case in a more suitable dress.

I understand perfectly. Please don't let me wait too long.

- Au revoir. - Just a moment.

- I'm looking forward to it. - So am I.

- This lady is permitted to leave. - Yes, sir.

This is a very difficult place to get in, but it's much more difficult to get out.

Oh, I'm terribly frightened and terribly thrilled.

- Bye. - Bye.

“To be or not to be -”

Oh! I'm feeling much better.

Well, I'm glad of that.

Who are you? How did you get here?

Parachute. I jumped from a plane.

Right into my bed, eh? How did you get in my apartment?

Your wife, uh - Isn't she back? I'm getting worried.

- You're worried? I'm worried! - Shh! Not so loud!

You might endanger all of us. We're all in the same boat.

The same boat, eh?

Then let me ask you something, as one sailor to another.

- What ill wind blew you into my slippers?

- Siletsky's here! - What?

When I came from the bookstore, they took me to him.

- What'd you do at the bookstore? - I warned them against Siletsky!

- Then everything's over. - There's still one chance. Siletsky hasn't seen the Gestapo.

- We have to get to him if we have to blow up the hotel. - Impossible.

- It's like an armed camp. Soldiers everywhere. - Does he know I'm here?

No. He wants me to become a Nazi spy.

- Who? - Siletsky!

- Who is Siletsky? - A spy!

- And who is he? - Lieutenant Sobinski.

- What are you doing here! - What does it matter? Siletsky's here!

It's unbelievable! Unbelievable!

I come home to find a man in the same boat with me...

and my wife says, “What does it matter?"

But it's the zero hour.

You don't want me to waste time giving you a long explanation.

No, but a husband is entitled to an inkling.

All right. Siletsky wants me to have dinner with him...

and if we don't get any other idea...

maybe I'll have to kill him, because I'm the only one that can get to him.

This wouldn't have happened if the lieutenant had arrived before Siletsky.

But they sent a plane for Siletsky, so Siletsky arrived before.

- Is that clear? - No.

You're gonna have dinner with him. That's our only chance.

Wait. I'll decide with whom my wife is to have dinner and whom she's gonna kill.

- Don't you realize Poland's at stake? - Have you no patriotism?

Listen, you. First you walk out on my soliloquy, and then you walk into my slippers.

Now you question my patriotism!

I'm a good Pole. I love my country and my slippers.

- I hope your country comes first! - So do I!

- This is an emergency! War! - Look.

I don't know much about the whole thing, but is Siletsky a real danger to Poland?

- A catastrophe! - He must be taken care of.

- And he will be. - Who's gonna do it?

- I'm gonna do it. - But how? - Where?

I'm gonna meet Herr Siletsky at Gestapo headquarters.

And after I've killed him, I hope you'll be kind enough to tell me what it was all about!

It took a bit longer than I thought. I wonder if the effect was worth it.

I'm willing to die for our Fuhrer at any moment...

except for the next few hours.

Thank you, Professor.

You know, the last time I wore this gown seems like ages.

And I haven't seen such food. Caviar - it still exists.

Yes, on the winning side.

I must admit you put some very convincing arguments on this table.

You know, it's nice being here, Professor.

I ordered a buffet.

We don't want to be interrupted by orderlies.

Naturally. After all, this is an affair of state.

your training as an agent...

with a glass of champagne.

Shall we drink to a - a blitzkrieg?

Hmm-mm. I prefer a slow encirclement.

You know, Professor, I'm a little scared of you.

But why? You shouldn't be.

Maybe not. Maybe there's something very gentle under that beard.

Yes, I think you might have a boyish quality.

- And yet I don't know. - Why don't you find out?

I will.

Here. Write your name, and I'll tell you everything about you.

The first time I saw my husband's handwriting...

was on the marriage certificate, and then it was too late.

Well, I'm taking an awful chance.

But remember, if a fortune teller wants to stay in business...

she must only tell her client what he really wants to happen.

- Here you are. - Hmm.

“Alexander Siletsky.”

If I'd known you made an S like that, I wouldn't have come here.

You're a very determined man.

Yes, very.

Oh, but you have great charm.

I only hope you live up to that Y, Professor.

You'll see.

Heil Hitler.

Hell Hitler.

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

- I am Captain Muhm of Colonel Ehrhardt's staff. - Oh, yes.

Will you please come in?

Just a moment.

There's been a last-minute change in Colonel Ehrhardt's plans...

and he'd like to see you immediately.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

I'll be with you in a minute.

- I'm so sorry. - Don't tell me you have to leave.

Yes, but I'll make it as quickly as possible.

That's terrible. I came up here with such doubts in my mind...

and now you're gonna leave me here just as the cause is getting me.

I won't be long.

The Gestapo is so busy these days, I'm sure they'll be glad to get rid of me.

- I'm so sorry. - Well, it can't be helped.

Just a moment. What's your name?

Mrs. Tura.

- Whom were you visiting? - Professor Siletsky.

The professor left no instructions. You'll have to wait until he comes back.

- But that's impossible. - Sorry. There's nothing I can do.

- 206. - Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

- If you'll wait, I'll announce you to Colonel Ehrhardt. - Thank you.

Good-bye, Colonel.

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

Isn't this the gentleman from England, Captain Muhm?

- Yes, General. - It's a great pleasure to meet you, Professor.

A very great pleasure.

You certainly fooled the English, didn't you?

The British lion will drink his tea...

from saucers made in Germany.

- Hmm? Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

How did he ever become a general?

Well, he's Goring's brother-in-law.

Oh.

- I'll announce you to the colonel. - Thank you.

- He brought the papers. - Who are his helpers in England?

- As soon as you find out, call me. - All right.

- Tura, you're playing for our lives. - I know.

I'm gonna do the impossible. I'm gonna surpass myself.

Don't, Tura. Don't draw out the scene, please.

Let's go. I hate to leave the fate of our country in the hands of a ham.

Send him in.

- Professor, please. - Oh, thank you.

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

Professor Siletsky, I'm glad to see you.

And I'm glad to see you too.

- Sit down, please. - Thank you.

I can't tell you how delighted we are to have you here.

And may I say that it's good...

to breathe the air of the Gestapo again.

You're quite famous in London, Colonel.

They call you Concentration Camp Ehrhardt.

Yes, yes. We do the concentrating, and the Poles do the camping.

Yes, indeed. Well, here's the report.

And that's the end of the underground movement.

Hmm. Let's see.

Excellent, excellent.

They're as good as dead.

I, uh, assume there are...

no supplementary documents still at the hotel.

No, no. That covers everything.

Good, good.

I'm sending the duplicate to Berlin first thing in the morning.

The - the duplicate?

Oh, yes, of course! The duplicate.

If you ask me, it's a lot of red tape, but since they want it, all right.

Naturally, naturally. You know, Professor...

Warsaw is a dangerous place these days...

but I suppose you have the papers in the hotel safe.

No, they're locked in my trunk, but the whole hotel is a safe.

Y-Yes, of course. Naturally.

I want to get the machinery started on this right away.

- I'll be back in a moment. - Very well, Colonel.

- All right, I'll get this rat. - No. You can't.

He still has papers in his trunk.

- I'll kill the dirty dog. - Listen! How are we going to get in his hotel?

- How are we gonna get in the hotel? - Keep him there! We'll figure something out!

All right.

Well, is there anything else you want to ask me?

Lots, lots. Sit down, Professor.

There are many, many things I want to ask you.

Yes, yes, yes. So many things.

Anything you want to know, I'd only be too happy to oblige.

Thank you.

So they call me Concentration Camp Ehrhardt, huh?

You know, Professor, there's something I wanted to ask you.

- Yes? - What? Oh. Oh.

Well, that's the way it is.

A thousand questions on your mind, yet you can't think of anything to ask.

But it will crystallize. It will crystallize.

Maybe there's something you'd like to ask me.

- No, I can't think of anything. - Oh.

So they call me Concentration Camp Ehrhardt!

Yes, yes.

Well, well.

Excuse me a minute. I'll be right back.

- I'm running out of dialogue. - We got it.

- Take this gun. - Put it in your pocket.

Take him back to the hotel. In his room, hit him with the gun.

Then take his keys, open his trunk, and burn the papers.

- And then you shoot him. - All right.

Just a minute! What'll happen to me? They'll kill me.

We're going to keep our fingers crossed.

Good. Hey, wait a minute!

You go to the hotel, and I'll cross my fingers. Here. Think of something else.

So they really call me Concentration Camp Ehrhardt, huh?

Colonel, unless there's something urgent, I'd like to relax a little.

Relax? Oh, Mrs. Tura.

Tell me, how is Mrs. Tura?

Sit down, Professor.

You see, my Gestapo men are very, very efficient.

I simply thought she might be of some value to us as an agent.

And besides that, she's very good company.

"company?

If you'd like to meet Mrs. Tura, I'd be glad to introduce you.

Thank you!

And if you take a liking to the lady -

Maybe you'll even put in a good word for me?

I'd be delighted!

Well, thank you, thank you.

Tell me, hasn't she a husband?

Yes, but what does it matter?

Yes, what does it?

By the way, I believe her husband is...

that great, great Polish actor, Joseph Tura.

- Of course you've heard of him. - No, I haven't. - Oh.

As a matter of fact, I never heard of Maria Tura before either.

You didn't? Then how did you get in touch with her?

Well, it's rather a delicate story.

There's a young Polish flier in England.

I think his name is Sobinski.

- Uh-huh. - Asked me to deliver a message to her.

That's very interesting. What was the message?

I had to swear to this young Romeo not to tell the husband.

That gives you a rough idea of the message.

Yes, it is a little rough.

Seems they have a secret love code.

- Am I boring you? - No, no, no!

I find it very interesting.

This flier gave me the message. I couldn't make head nor tail of it. Neither will you.

But Mrs. Tura seemed to understand it perfectly.

Well, what was the message?

“To be or not to be.”

“To be -”

“To be or not to be -”

Colonel, it's nothing alarming. It's only Shakespeare.

That's what you think! Professor, you amaze me.

You, an old Gestapo man, bringing a message to a Polish woman from the enemy!

And when I say “enemy," I mean enemy!

You think they had a romance together?

I couldn't swear to it, but I don't doubt it, do you?

No! And I'm gonna find out, if I have to mobilize the whole Gestapo!

But, Colonel, I don't understand.

Suppose these two did have a romance. That's nothing you have to worry about.

The only person that has to worry is the husband.

And that's enough! I'm going to arrest this Maria Tura!

Well, I guess you're right, Professor.

I've been with the Gestapo so long, I get suspicious of everyone.

And so do I.

So they call me Concentration Camp Ehrhardt.

- Coming back to Mrs. Tura. - Oh, let's forget about her.

There's nothing mysterious about her. She's just a cheap little -

I think I know what you mean.

Then I don't have to say it, do I?

Do you mind if I'm repetitious, Colonel Ehrhardt?

Why, no, no. Not at all.

As I said before, Colonel Ehrhardt...

the only one that has to worry about all this is the lady's husband...

that great, great Polish actor, Joseph Tura.

Well, that's none of my concern.

But it should be, Mr. Tura.

Raise your hands. Quickly, please.

- Did you ever play a corpse, Mr. Tura? - What?

You're going to be one unless you do exactly as I say.

Get over to that door and tell your friends to clear away.

I won't do it.

Turn around.

Get over there and face that wall.

Now stay there.

You sure you won't change your mind?

I'll give you one more chance.

Very well, Mr. Tura!

Long live Poland!

- What happened? - He must have gone that way.

That Way?

Look down there!

There he is!

Get him!

Get backstage! Raise the curtain!

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

- Professor Siletsky? - Professor Siletsky isn't here.

Do you expect him back?

Yes, certainly.

Do you mind if I wait here for the professor?

No, not at all.

Thank you.

- Good night, Professor Siletsky. - Good night.

- Good night, Professor. - Good night.

Professor Siletsky?

- Yes? - Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

I'm Captain Schultz of Colonel Ehrhardt's staff.

I'm glad to meet you, Captain.

Ah, Mrs. Tura.

L thought you had left, madame.

You forgot to leave word for me to get out...

but now I don't regret that I've waited.

And how is Professor Siletsky?

Dead.

Absolutely dead.

You see, I had to take care of some business.

- How about a glass of champagne? - No, thank you. I don't drink.

- Cigarette? - Thank you, I don't smoke.

- Just like our Fuhrer. - Yes.

Well, Captain, I'm terribly sorry to have kept you waiting.

I tried to entertain the captain, but he seems the suspicious type.

I admit I was surprised when I came in.

I don't blame you.

Here the whole Gestapo has been working for a long time...

day and night trying to find out every little thing about everybody.

And I arrive, and in a few hours I find the most attractive lady in town.

- You didn't know madame before? - Well, not exactly.

But the explanation is very simple.

I just asked Mrs. Tura here to deliver a message to her.

- Isn't that right? - Yes. Yes.

You see, there's a young flier, a very good friend of the Turas...

and particularly of Mrs. Tura, isn't that right?

Well, yes, but he's no particular friend of mine.

Nevertheless, a friend. It was sort of a code message.

Code message?

Oh, Mrs. Tura has nothing to hide from the Gestapo...

but she has one tiny little secret.

If her husband ever found out, he would murder her.

He is that great, great Polish actor, Joseph Tura.

- You've probably heard of him. - No, I haven't.

- Oh. - Professor, Colonel Ehrhardt wants to -

Yes, I'm going to meet him promptly at 10:00 tomorrow morning.

There has been a change in the colonel's plans.

- You're not gonna take him away? - I'm sorry...

but the colonel is expecting the professor now.

Those are my orders.

Oh.

Well, it looks like I'll have to go.

Excuse me a moment.

Oh, sweetheart!

Darling.

- Open the trunk and burn the papers. - But what did you do with Siletsky?

- What did you do with Sobinski? - That's so unimportant now.

Don't you realize you're going into the hands of the Gestapo?

Yes. The scene is loaded with dynamite.

One little slip and I'm a dead man.

You know I'm never any good unless I have my peace of mind.

Maria, be honest. Be frank.

I've got to know. Did you tell that fellow to walk out on my soliloquy?

Oh, sweetheart, darling, I love you.

Don't you know that? Don't you feel it?

- If anything should happen to you - - You think I can do it?

You're a great actor. Nobody can play it but you.

You can and you will do it.

Good-bye, darling.

Good-bye.

If I shouldn't come back...

I forgive you what happened between you and Sobinski.

But if I come back, it's a different matter.

- Yes? - Heil Hitler.

- Heil Hitler. - Professor Siletsky's here.

Have him come in.

Didn't you understand what I told you?

Did you arrest him? Why not?

You have no proof? A fine excuse! Arrest him too.

Whenever in doubt, arrest them. How many times do I have to tell you?

Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler.

- Heil Hitler. - Professor, at last we meet.

Please make yourself at home. Won't you take off your coat?

Thank you. Thank you.

Colonel Ehrhardt, I can't tell you how happy I am...

to breathe the air of the Gestapo again.

Thank you very much. Cigarette? Cigar? Brandy?

- No, thank you. - There was a change in my schedule.

Confidentially, big news.

A very old friend of yours the Fuhrer.

I know you'll be delighted to see the Fuhrer again.

- Who wouldn't? - That's right, that's right.

How long since you've seen him, Professor?

Too long. Much too long.

Of course, of course.

Tell me, is Berchtesgaden really as beautiful as they say?

Yes.

I think I can say that without any risk.

But it isn't the architecture or the landscaping.

The presence of the fuhrer lends the real beauty to the place.

Naturally, naturally.

Well? What news you bring from London?

London? Oh, yes. London.

Colonel, you're quite famous in London.

You know what they call you? Concentration Camp Ehrhardt.

Oh, they do, do they?

So they call me Concentration Camp Ehrhardt!

I thought you would react just that way.

Well, Professor, let's have your information.

Uh, I think I could stand a glass of brandy after all.

Certainly. Brandy.

That makes me think of a very funny story going all over Warsaw.

A story about our Fuhrer.

How does it go? Oh, yes.

They named a brandy after Napoleon...

they made a herring out of Bismarck. ..

And the Fuhrer is going to end up as a piece of cheese!

Don't you think it's funny?

No. Neither would the Fuhrer.

And I don't believe Adolf Hitler will go down in history as a delicatessen.

Professor, look here. I was only joking. Just repeating what I heard.

I never- Please don't misunderstand me.

- I'm loyal. I wouldn't - Heil Hitler! - Heil Hitler.

Do you intend to tell the Fuhrer about this?

- Why should I ruin you? - Yes, of course. That's very nice.

The Fuhrer will never hear it from my lips.

- My word of honor. - Thank you.

Please, now, if you would be so kind...

what about the underground movement?

- What exactly are your plans? - You want to know, huh?

- Yes, if you don't mind. - Well, I have the key in my hand.

I have to find the lock. Better than having the lock and having to find the key. How does it sound?

Promising. Most promising.

But tell me, what exactly do you intend to do?

Well, then, let's get down to details.

- If you please. - There are no details.

At least not yet. But the important thing is...

I have the name of the leader of the underground movement.

- And if we play our cards right, and carefully - - I understand!

If you watch the shepherd, you are bound to find the flock.

- What's the name of the shepherd? - Boguslaw Robanski.

Send Captain Schultz in.

So they call me Concentration Camp Ehrhardt!

- Yes, Colonel? - Captain, there's a man in this town - What's his name?

- Robanski. - Boguslaw Robanski? - Yes.

- You don't have to worry about him. - What do you mean?

- We shot him two days ago. - Robanski, shot? I refuse to believe it!

Don't you realize whom you shot, Captain?

I risk my life to get the key men of the underground movement...

and just when we're ready, it's sabotage, sabotage, sabotage!

- I resent that, Professor. - Why did you shoot him?

We have proof that this man was telling...

some outrageous, supposed-to-be-funny stories about the Fuhrer.

- That's no reason to shoot the man. - I agree.

At least not right away.

You shot Robanski. Wouldn't it have been a good idea to look him over first?

Yes! Why don't we look over people before we shoot them?

I'm sorry, but you signed the order of execution yourself.

Oh, I sign so many every day!

You see? I can't rely on my own people anymore.

Colonel, maybe we can still save the situation.

There's one other man. A good possibility.

Maximilian Pietrowski.

Maximilian Pietrowski?

Don't tell me you -

Yes.

Colonel, all I can say is, you can't have your cake and shoot it too.

It can't be done. If they hear about this in England...

they'll give you the Victoria Cross.

- I resent that, Professor. - That's all, Schultz!

Yes, sir.

I didn't like the way Captain Schultz shifted the responsibility back to you.

Neither did I. There's always something wrong with a man...

who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't eat meat.

- You mean our Fuhrer? - Oh, no! Please, Professor!

- I hope you won't - - Why should I ruin you again?

Thank you so much.

I suppose you want to go back as soon as possible to London.

London? Oh, yes. Certainly.

- When did you plan to leave? - As soon as possible.

Under the circumstances, that's the best thing.

We have a plane leaving on Thursday for Sweden. I'll make a reservation.

- That's fine. You better make that two. - Two?

My trip was at least successful in one respect.

a certain Mrs. Tura.

She'll be the most valuable assistant in London.

Frankly, I don't believe in women agents.

You'll change your mind if you meet Mrs. Tura.

Why don't you? Form your own opinion. If you say no, it's no.

- I'll call you at the hotel. What was the lady's name? - Mrs. Tura.

Her husband is that great, great Polish actor, Joseph Tura.

- You've probably heard of him. - Oh, yes.

I saw him on the stage when I was in Warsaw once, before the war.

Really?

What he did to Shakespeare we are doing now to Poland.

- Hmm. Good-bye, Colonel. - Good-bye, Professor.

I'm Colonel Ehrhardt. Will you sit down, please?

Thank you.

- Mrs. Tura, I sent for you - - And I'm very grateful.

I can't make up my mind. It sounds very intriguing and exciting -

Mrs. Tura, I have bad news for you.

If you don't think I'm the right person, it'll be disappointing, but the cause must come first.

No, Mrs. Tura, it isn't that.

Prepare yourself for a shock. Professor Siletsky is dead.

Dead?

Murdered.

Oh, I can't believe it.

He can't be.

When did it happen?

We haven't found out yet. I only got the report just now.

- Was it at the hotel? - No, he was evidently trapped somewhere.

The Fuhrer has just arrived in Warsaw...

and the men are planning a reception for him tonight...

a kind of performance by the soldiers.

So they opened the Theatre Polski, tried to arrange some scenery...

one of the props broke, and out fell the body of Professor Siletsky.

Who could have done such a thing? Have you any idea?

We are pretty certain.

The bullet in his body came from a British service revolver...

and yesterday the British landed someone here by parachute.

So the only mystery is, where is this man?

- Believe me, we are going to get him. - I hope so.

The poor professor!

And I had an appointment with him this afternoon. He was due here any minute.

Thank you. I won't take up any more of your time.

- Good-bye. - I want you to know...

that your ties with us are by no means broken.

- After all, you might be very valuable to us. - Thank you.

It doesn't have to be London. I might have something here in Warsaw.

Whatever you decide. If you want me -

Naturally, I would have to know you better.

That it my duty and, if I may say, my pleasure.

- That's nice of you, but at the moment - - It doesn't have to be today...

but when you feel a little better, maybe we can have dinner together.

- Why don't you let me know? - I will. And don't take it too hard, little woman.

- I'll try not to. - That's the spirit.

Mrs. Tura seems to be rather upset.

Naturally. It's very unfortunate, what happened to Siletsky.

But after all, he died for the Fuhrer.

Naturally.

Hello? Oh, good morning, Professor Siletsky. I-

Oh, you will be a little late?

Yes.

Yes, I understand. Of course, Professor.

Will you please announce me to Professor Siletsky?

The professor left quite a while ago.

He did? Thank you.

- Was Tura here? - Yeah.

- Did he say anything? - No, he just rushed in, punched me in the jaw, and rushed out.

Dobosh, you know what happened?

- Yes, but it's all right. Joseph just left. - What?

He had trouble. Somebody must have grabbed his beard.

Don't worry. I gave him an extra beard. You never can tell with Tura.

He's lost! They found the body! They know everything!

What!

- Who opened the theater? - The Nazis.

- Who gave them the key? - You idiot, shut up!

They're going to kill him! You've got to help him!

Rawitch, do something!

- The professor's here. - We will be delighted.

Professor, please.

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler. And how's the professor?

- Fine, thank you. How's the colonel? - Excellent. May I?

Tell me, what was your impression of Mrs. Tura?

- Wonderful! - I'm glad you feel that way.

Yes, indeed.

May I introduce Captain Muller and Lieutenant Brandt of our Special Investigation Squad...

or what we call “the hotfoot department"?

- How do you do? - How do you do? - It's a pleasure.

- How do you do? - It's a pleasure.

Professor, we should talk before you leave.

I have to take up a few things with these gentlemen.

- Would you mind stepping into my living room? - Thank you.

Well, he should have cracked by now.

Give him a little time. Let him enjoy his goose pimples.

Colonel, do you really prefer this procedure to our usual methods?

Well, I would say with intellectuals...

the mental approach is more effective and much quicker.

But if he shouldn't turn out to be an intellectual?

Then we try a little physical culture.

Colonel, I don't want to hurry you, but do you think it'll be much longer?

- Oh, did you get bored? - No, no.

I tried to open up a conversation with your friend in there...

but he seems to be dead.

No! Really? Let's go and see.

- It looks like murder. - Mm-hmm.

If I'm wrong, Colonel, please correct me...

but there seems to be a slight resemblance between me and your late friend.

- Has that struck you too? - Oh, definitely.

And I have a terrible suspicion one of us must be an impostor.

I hadn't thought of that, but I think you're right.

Just for fun, which one of us do you think is the impostor?

I hope you won't consider it impolite...

but there's a general feeling in this room that it's you.

- Please forgive me. - Certainly.

- Mind if I play detective? - Go right ahead, Professor.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hmm. “Edmondson's, London.”

The real Siletsky came from London. The suit was bought in London.

- You think it looks bad for me? - Terrible.

Hmm.

His watch is still running...

which means he was killed since the real Professor Siletsky arrived in War-

This really looks bad. You know I'm liable to get shot?

There's a distinct possibility.

And there's no doubt there was a definite purpose.

- He wanted to look like me - - Or you wanted to look like him.

That's right. That's right.

Our hair is cut alike, and even the shape of our beards is somewhat similar.

- Not similar. Exactly alike. - How long did you know each other?

- I just met him here. - Now you're plain lying.

You must have observed him for months. It takes that long to grow a beard.

- Very good, Schultz, very good! - Excellent, Schultz...

except you forget I may be wearing a false beard.

Very funny.

No, Professor, I'll tell you a better story.

Maybe he is wearing a false beard.

- I hardly think so. - Why don't you convince yourself?

Why don't you pull his beard?

- I can't do it. - You can't, eh?

Too sensitive, eh?

You can murder a man, you can kill in cold blood...

but you cannot pull a man's beard -

I can't believe it!

Schultz!

How dare you put me in this position! I can't rely on anybody.

Colonel, you gave the order yourself.

Shifting the responsibility on me again? That's all, Schultz!

Good-bye, gentlemen.

Professor, I don't know how to apologize.

Colonel, you were only doing your duty.

If there's still the slightest doubt, why don't you pull my beard?

- Please, Professor! - Come on. Just once.

No, please, don't rub it in.

I assure you, I never believed it for one minute.

But this Schultz! And if you should see the Fuhrer -

- You'd appreciate it if I didn't tell him. My word of honor. - Thank you.

And now the most important thing is to get you to London as quickly as possible.

- With Mrs. Tura? - Yes, of course. Anything you say.

- Get me the airport. - Where's Colonel Ehrhardt's office?

- Heil Hitler. - Heil Hitler.

- Colonel Ehrhardt? - Yes, sir.

I'm General von Seidelman of the Fuhrer's safety squad.

I arrive with the Fuhrer this morning, and in one hour, I uncover a plot against his life!

- Can't I rely on anyone? - But, General -

- Arrest this man! - No, General!

- The man's an impostor! - Are you crazy?

He is Professor Siletsky!

Well? What do you have to say for yourself now?

Here is a man with a beard, and you didn't even pull it!

I never saw a more grossly neglected duty in my life!

I have no confidence in you anymore. I'm taking charge of this case myself.

There'll be a reorganization here, and your head will not be spared.

- And furthermore - - General.

- Huh? - Your appointment with the Fuhrer?

- Yes, yes. You'll hear from me! - Yes, sir!

Take him out!

“Piece of cheese,” huh?

Schultz!

I had a plane arranged. Everything.

But Mr. Rawitch had a burning desire to act again,

and when Mr. Rawitch acts, someone has to suffer.

Please, Mr. Tura, forgive me for trying to save your life.

Who really botched the thing up? You! If you hadn't been so jealous of your wife -

- I hope it's true. - It isn't. - We'll talk about that later.

Please, please. Friends -

Romans and countrymen! We know you want to play Marc Antony, but that doesn't help us.

- In 24 hours they'll know everything. - Then we're caught like rats in a trap!

Just a moment.

Hitler, of course, will be sitting in the royal box tonight.

You remember two years ago we played Murder in the Opera House?

- It was a flop. - Yeah.

And it might be again, but we have to take the chance to get out of here.

The situation is very similar.

There will be soldiers in the corridor guarding Hitler's box.

If we can get them away for just one second -

That means we need a commotion among the Gestapo.

I've started a commotion in every Gestapo man I've met.

No, we can't use you. There'll be no ladies. But... Greenberg?

Yes, Mr. Dobosh?

If we can manage that Greenberg suddenly pops up among all those Nazis -

- It'll get a terrific laugh. - No, it won't.

Greenberg, you've always wanted to play an important part.

What do I have to do, Mr. Dobosh?

If you don't play it right, we're all lost.

And if you do play it right, I still can't guarantee anything.

What do I have to do?

All right, let's rehearse. Now, the first thing -

- How does it look? - Excellent. - Sobinski, it's time to go.

I'm ready.

Let's see.

- Looks all right. - Yes, he looks very good.

Yes.

- I'll pick you up about 9:00! - Oh, darling!

Good-bye.

If anything should go wrong, if you shouldn't come back -

- Then Sobinski won't come back either. - Good-bye, darling.

I guess you want to say good-bye. Go ahead.

This may be the last time we'll see each other.

I can only say it was wonderful knowing you, Maria.

- Good-bye, Mrs. Tura. - Good-bye, Mr. Sobinski.

Come on, come on.

- Heil the Fuhrer! - Heil!

N'

- How did you get here? - I was born here.

And what made you decide to die here?

Him.

What do you want from the Fuhrer?

What does he want from us? What does he want from Poland?

Why all this? Why?

Why? Aren't we human?

Have we not eyes? Have we not hands...

organs, senses, dimensions, affections, passions?

Fed with the same food? Hurt with the same weapons?

Subject to the same diseases? Healed by the same means?

Cooled and warmed by the same winter and summer?

If you prick us, do we not bleed?

If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

If you poison us, do we not die?

If you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

- Lieutenants Lange and Schneider! - Yes, sir.

Take charge of this man and bring him to my headquarters. I want to question him.

Men, I don't want a word to leak out about this incredible incident.

- Who's in charge here? - I am, sir.

- How could this have happened? - I don't know, sir.

You don't know. That's just it. That's how you safeguard our Fuhrer.

My Fuhrer, it is my duty to advise you to leave immediately.

- To the airport. - Yes, sir.

- We have to make a stop on the way. - Yes, sir.

Heil! Heil! Heil!

Greenberg.

He always wanted to play Shylock...

and he got his chance at last.

And he'll play it again -

not in the corridor but on the stage of the Polski Theatre.

- The rail road station! - The underground is still alive!

Yes, we saved the underground.

Bronski, now we belong to history.

- They might even erect a monument to us. - They will.

I can see myself sitting on a horse for the next century.

Yes, and sometimes when you -

- What's the matter? - Oh, nothing.

But I'm such a nervous wreck, I'm imagining things.

- Imagining what? - For a moment I thought you were wearing a mustache.

I am.

- No, you're not. - Are you crazy?

Where's my mustache? This is a catastrophe! We've got to find it!

I can't get out of the car without it to get Maria.

- What did you do with it? - We've got to find the mustache.

Good evening, Mrs. Tura.

I suppose you're surprised to see us.

I'm delighted, but unfortunately I have an appointment.

There are several things we want to find out.

- Of course, but couldn't I see you tomorrow at your office? - No. I'm sorry.

It is very urgent. The colonel and I, we were talking things over.

Mrs. Tura, we consider you a woman of enormous appeal.

Thank you, but what's so very urgent about that?

It struck me as rather peculiar why anybody like you could be...

attracted to Professor Siletsky.

Captain, you never can tell about those things.

For instance, I think you're rather attractive yourself.

Perhaps my taste is a little peculiar.

But I haven't Professor Siletsky's distinguished beard.

That's what probably fascinated you so much.

Yes, it brought out the child in me.

I felt like pulling his beard. Thank heavens I didn't.

- What do you mean by that? - It was a false beard.

He fooled me, and he certainly fooled you, Colonel.

- How do you know all this? - General von Seidelman.

What do you know about him?

He asked me to his office. I had to answer a million questions.

He thanked me for the information, and -

Gentlemen, do you by any chance suspect me?

- Well - - General von Seidelman thought everything was all right.

If General von Seidelman thinks it's all right, then it is all right.

Schultz! What are you trying to get me into now?

- Colonel, it was your own idea. - Shifting the responsibility on me again?

- Good night, Schultz. - Good night, Colonel.

This Schultz! Mrs. Tura, I am so sorry.

Colonel, I have an appointment.

- I'll drive you there. - You don't understand. Someone is coming.

- Aha! Someone is coming here? - And if he should find you -

I'm here on official business. There's nothing to worry about.

Mrs. Tura, consider yourself in the arms of the Gestapo.

- But I'm a married woman. - But you're expecting someone.

- Now I have to stay here. - But, Colonel, I -

I have to protect your husband.

No, Colonel, you really mustn't do this.

Mrs. Tura, I'll give you a bracelet. I confiscated a beautiful one today.

- I don't want a bracelet. - I can make life worth living for you.

I can give you extra butter rations, three eggs a week.

I don't want any eggs. Colonel, please go.

Maria!

Heil Hitler!

- Why didn't you tell me? - How could I?

Don't you understand? Haven't you any tact?

My Fuhrer! My Fuhrer!

Schultz!

Heil! Heil! Heil!

Gentlemen, the Fuhrer wants to talk to both of you himself.

The lieutenant will take the controls.

- Yes, mein Fuhrer? - Jump!

- Heil Hitler! - Heil Hitler!

Two very obliging fellows.

Now let's go to England!

First it was Hess. Now him!

Everybody, a nice smile. Thank you.

- Thank you. - And you, Mr. Tura...

you played the real hero in this amazing play.

Well, I - I did my best...

and I was very ably assisted by my colleagues.

Thank you, my friends, for everything you did...

as little as it may have been.

I'm sure England will want to show its gratitude.

What do you desire most?

- Well, I - - He wants to play Hamlet.

After all, we are in the country of William Shakespeare -

He wants to play Hamlet.

Than is my deed to my most painted word.

O heavy burthen!

I hear him coming.

Let's withdraw, my lord.

To be or not to be:

that -