All language subtitles for Lost In America-1985.srt

...hazy sunshine
through Wednesday.

And that's the 2 A.M. report.

You're listening to kmpc,
710, in Los Angeles.

The mutual broadcasting
system presents

the peabody award-winning
Larry king show,

network radio's most listened-to

coast-to-coast talk program.

And now, Larry king.

We're with Rex Reed,

film critic of
the New York post.

Give me the modus
operandi of Rex Reed.

Do you have a preference?

Would you rather watch a
movie in a crowded theater

or in that special
screening room?

I like to see movies
in the daytime.

I don't like to
see movies at night,

because I like to be fresh.

I like 10 A.M. screenings.

I like to be alone, although
that rarely happens.

I don't like to go to these
packed movie houses at night

where they fill the movie house

with all the secretaries
from the film company

and all the secretaries'
second cousins,

because they want the
audience to scream and yell,

and they're like backers
at an opening night.

But what about that, which
Mel Brooks told me,

always needs an
audience-- the comedy.

If you're sitting alone
at 10:00 in the morning--

If it's really funny,
I'll laugh.

I don't need 40 other people

to remind me that I
should be laughing.

I don't respond very well
to mass hysteria.

With Rex Reed, we're ready
to go to your phone calls.

We start with Cincinnati. Hello.

Hi. Good morning, Larry.

Rex, I wanted to tell you

that your forthrightness
is refreshing,

and your dry wit
and humor cracks me up.

I like your opinions.

You usually agree with me.

Oh, thank you. It gets me
into trouble sometimes.

Yeah, but do you care?

Well, I used to a lot.

Really?

I, uh, I go back to...

Like today I'll let
myself see a "p" or pg

because I don't like
to be uncomfortable

or be embarrassed.

Like I saw
the black stallion twice.

So you know where
I'm coming from.

What's the question?

Sex, to me,
is not a spectator sport.

Are we going to see some
clean movies again, ever?

Well, you've had a few lately,

but I agree that the imagination
can do so much more

to build scenes
or to sustain emotion.

I found a lot of the
pictures I saw growing up

much sexier than anything
that I've seen today.

I remember the fountainhead

with Gary Cooper
and Patricia Neal--

Linda.

You saw lust written
on her face.

Linda.

Hmm?

You sleeping?

Yeah.

Maybe we shouldn't move.

Oh, God. What's the matter now?

Nothing. It's just time
to ask these questions.

We sold our house.

We should've asked
these questions before.

Well, I can't talk to
you, so good night.

Stop it. You're just
nervous about tomorrow.

You'll get the promotion,

we'll move into the house,

and we'll be happy, OK?

Your voice just fills this
room with excitement.

I'm tired. Now stop questioning.

We made a wise decision.

Now let's feel good
about it, all right?

All right. Ok. Good night.

Good night.

Why that house?

What?

I think it's too close to here.

It'll feel like the
same neighborhood.

We needed more space.
That house has more space.

A house is more than space.

We could've rented a locker.

Also, we didn't
get a tennis court.

We don't play tennis.

We don't have a court. If
you have one, you learn.

Possibly someday we'll
have a court and learn.

All right.

Ok?

Can I ask you something else?

What?

How come we let the moving
company pack for us?

What?

Shouldn't we have
done it ourselves?

Maybe we're being irresponsible.

First, you're
talking about tennis,

then you're worried about the
moving company packing a box.

Sometimes I wish we were
more irresponsible.

What does that mean?

Nothing. Look,
just get some sleep.

What do you mean you wish
we were irresponsible?

You think we're too responsible?

Yeah. Sometimes I think
we're too controlled.

Really? You do? We're
too controlled?

How do you buy a $450,000 house

and get all the things you
want and everything else

and not be controlled?

What are you talking about?

What difference does it make?
I'll sleep in the garage.

Don't do that!

Why not? I'll be responsibly
guarding the car.

You're insane!

That's right. I'm
insane and responsible.

This is a potent combination.

I'm not sleeping in the garage.

I'm not an animal.

I am not an animal.

Come on. Come to bed.

I apologize...

But don't call me names, OK?

What names?

Calling me responsible

is calling me, what, old
or stodgy or stuffed-up.

I'm doing the very best I can.

Also, you're not the most
irresponsible person in the world.

Look at your job.

Personnel director
is like a Nazi camp.

If you hire one person they
don't like, they fire you.

So how much freedom do you have?

I'm sorry I used that word.

After tomorrow, everything's
going to be better.

I'm positive.
Don't you think so?

You always say that.

Yeah, I know, but for eight
years, it's been one way.

I've been this employee.

Tomorrow I'll get this
promotion, and that's it.

I'll have stock in this agency.

That makes me genuinely
responsible,

so I can fool around now.

Now I can be irresponsible.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. I guess so.

Ok.

Good night.

Good night.

Linda?

How are you?

Well, I'm flattered.

No.

No.

That's more.

Come over to our new house,
and we'll barbecue.

Let's celebrate this.

Sure.

Ribs, fish.

I don't care. Anything.

Did you ever barbec--
Yeah?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

I'm meeting Mr. taft
in 20 minutes.

I can't pick
tile out this morning.

This is the biggest day
of my life.

We said we'd do this together.
It's important.

You're in the kitchen
more than I am.

I don't think about
anything in the kitchen.

It's your kitchen.

All right. Fine.

All right. Now we're angry.

No, I'm not. You'll
get your promotion.

Think about this.

Good luck.

How are you?

Good morning.

Yes. I'll connect you.

Morning, Sylvia.

Morning.

Hi. Are you Bob?

Bob? No.

Sorry.

Well, I thought it was rude.

Got to go. Bye.

Good morning.

How are you?

Good. Your meeting's
in 45 minutes.

I'm very nervous.

You look great.

No calls at all. I
really want to be alone.

Get me the Mercedes place.

Okey-doke.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

So?

Is it beautiful?

What?

The kitchen.
What does it look like?

I chose an orange tile.

Orange.

Yeah. Burnt orange.

It sounds pretty.

Patty, would you close the door?

Ok.

What's the matter?

I'm going to hate this house.

What are you talking about?

After the contractor
left, I was alone.

I sat on the floor
and got so sad.

Preview of the next 10 years.

I don't like anything anymore--

My life, my house, anything.

What do you mean?

Nothing's changing. David
and I have just stopped.

Life's just going by.

He genuinely believes

this promotion will
change everything.

He believed that every
single promotion.

It never does. Things
are always the same.

Maybe it will change.

And if it won't?

Then it won't.

Then you get divorced.
Whatever you got to do.

This is hans. Hold on, please.

Gee, I've been holding
most of the morning.

Thank you, dear. Thank you.

Ja, this is hans.

Hans? David Howard.

How are you, David?

Ok. Listen.

Ja.

I'm closing in on a decision.

Good.

I think the beige
is the best interior,

and the dark brown...
That's the best combination.

That's the most
beautiful on the lot.

Ok. So tell me again,
everything--

Tax, license, out the
door, in my garage.

Well, I don't know
where your garage is,

but it's $44,420. All right?

Wow. It's a lot
of money for a car.

It's not a car, it's a Mercedes.

I know it's a Mercedes.

It's still a lot of money.

Then maybe you
should get a nova.

That's it? That's everything?

At that price,
I don't have to add.

Just leather. Nothing else.

Really? It doesn't
come with leather?

No. That's why I told
you you have to add it.

What's in there?

Well, it's Mercedes leather.

What would that be?

It's a very thick vinyl.
I prefer that.

Wouldn't you think there'd
be leather in there?

If you buy the car,

I'll put some shoes in it, OK?

Well... All right, sir.
Thank you.

See you tomorrow night?

I'm going to talk
about it with my wife.

How about Friday morning?

I can't commit
to any day right now.

I have stars looking at the car.

Let me call you back.

I'm being buzzed. Hold on.

Yeah?

It's time for your meeting.

Ok. I got hans on the phone
coming in for the kill.

Want to help me out?

Oh, no.

Ok.

He'll call you back.

Good luck. You got it.

This is it.

I understand, but it's
really impossible right now.

Hold, please.

Good morning.

Hi.

Go on in. He's expecting you.

Good luck.

Thank you.

David. Say hi to Brad Tooley.

Brad, David Howard.

David.

Brad just joined
the agency in the east.

He's fantastic. We're
lucky to get him.

I got two of the best men
in modern advertising

right here.

Right?

Yeah.

Brad was blown away
by your stuff.

Very impressive.

The knudsen campaign
was the best I've seen.

Thank you.

Brad's here for
a special reason.

We're going to get Ford.

No! I can't believe it! Ford!

Trucks, too.

This makes us biggest
agency in the world.

Top of the heap.

I can't believe this.

What a week for all of us.
This is great!

Now, David--

As senior vice president,
I'm here 24 hours.

Don't worry. I'll live
on this floor.

You're much too valuable
for senior vice president.

But I do want you to move to
New York and work under Brad.

You two will be in charge of Ford.
You start in two weeks.

God, I'm sorry. I didn't hear...

You start in two weeks.

Wait. There was
too much information.

I'm senior vice
president and then--

No. Phil shabano is
senior vice president.

Oh, no. You couldn't.

I'm senior vice president.

Phil shabano's senior
vice president.

Then what am I?

Hey.

He's giving you
quite a compliment.

I asked him for the best man.

He didn't hesitate for a moment.

He didn't?

I don't want to go to New York.

I should get
the position I deserve

instead of being shifted
to another account.

This isn't just another account.

It's Ford.

I know it's Ford.

You have to keep
your promise to me.

I didn't make any promises.

We had lunches for years.

You were grooming me
for senior vice president.

I've been here longer--
For eight years.

Phil's been here
less than two years.

He's not as clever as you.

He's more of an executive.

I need you creatively.

Oh, well,
that explains it, then.

So, by being extra clever
and by being here longer,

I get shifted
to another account,

and he, because of
his low intelligence

and short time with the company,

gets this job I've been
waiting my whole life for.

You keep referring to this
as just another account.

It's not. It's Ford.

Is somebody bursting in
and saying, "surprise"?

You did this before.
I hate you for this.

God damn it, Paul.
You caught me again.

Who's bursting in here?

Nobody's bursting in here,

and I'm offering you
something big.

I'm going to New York?

Paul, maybe you should
tell him about the campaign.

We have the rights to
New York, New York.

Brad, don't. Not now.

Listen.

When I was on the plane,
I thought of this.

It should go
something like, uh...

¶ This little town car ¶

¶ will drive you away ¶

killer stuff.

I don't want to hear this.

¶ It's Ford ¶

Brad, shut up! Please!

I must get what I deserve.

This is completely unfair.

I have been here
too long a time.

Please make me
senior vice president.

I'll do what you want.
You can't do this to me!

I thought you'd be thrilled.

Thrilled? If it's so
thrilling, you go to New York.

I'll take you to the airport.

Don't talk to me like that.
I come from New York.

And when you land, people
steal everything you've got.

I resent that cliché.

New York's the greatest
city there is.

Brad, your song stunk, I hate
your suit, and I could hurt you.

David, that's enough.

No, I haven't started.

Let's pretend
a mistake was made.

I'll become
senior vice president,

I'll work on Ford
and do a great job.

Now bring in Allen funt
and end this thing.

The position is filled.

Well, fuck you!

That's it. Get out and stay out.

I asked my friends if
they thought I'd get this.

They all told me
I was the best man.

Everyone said don't worry.
Everyone!

Nobody would listen to me

when I said I don't think so.

They all said
you're the best man.

Obviously, they're right.

I'm the best man.

Phil shabano's the groom.

There I am, watching
Phil's life come true.

Look. I know you're upset.

I can appreciate it.

I'll forget what you said.

Don't blow eight years
with this company.

Fuck you.

Paul, I don't think I
can work with this man.

I'll go back to the hotel

David, you're fired.

Fired? Oh, I'm fired!

Oh, this is great!

How dare you?

I want my eight years back.

I wasted my youth for you.

I'm wasted. I'm over.

I'll stand here
until you give them back.

Better--I'll take
things home with me.

Get me security, please.

Oh, he's calling the cops.

Right now, my
office, right away.

I can't believe it--
Call security.

I'll call you later.

You're making a big mistake.

You don't even know me,
you bald-headed fart!

That's enough!
God damn it, sit down!

Listen to me. I used to make
fun of my friends in college

who went out to find themselves.

I took the business route.

So I wind up here.

I can't believe it!
What do I get?

I get a transfer!

After all these years,
I get a transfer.

I can get that at a bus stop.

I don't need any qualifications.

Oh, by the way, our
hairpiece secret is off.

Yes, sir.

Would you escort Mr. Howard out?

He doesn't have to
escort me out.

I leave on my own gratefully.

It's all right.
I leave gratefully!

But people should know
what went on here today.

Don't have lunch with this man!

Be very careful. Don't do it!

He'll tell you how good
the future is here.

I've seen the future!

It's a bald-headed man
from New York!

Maybe you should
talk to Cindy about that.

She knows about it.

Well, maybe 3:15? Ok, bye-bye.

Quit. Quit your job.

Quit my job?

I did. You do it.

You quit?

Well, I got fired.
It's the same thing.

Linda, you were right.

No more responsible David.

I'm free. I was responsibly blind.
I was a dead man!

I wouldn't have used that word

if you were going
to take it literally.

I'm giving you credit
for saving my life.

It was just a word.

Linda, they were jacking me off!

Shh!

They were jacking me off.

I was on the road to nowhere.

Do you know the road?

It's a nowhere road.
It goes nowhere.

You're on it. You don't know it?

It's a nowhere road.

It's the carrot on the stick

and the watch when you're 70.

Who was made
senior vice president?

You?

I don't care anymore

about senior vice president.

I'm sick of being programmed
like a stupid robot.

Phil shabano!

Why?

Phil shabano!

I don't know why the
underqualified son of a bitch!

Why? Because life isn't fair.

But it'll balance out.

He'll buy that boat I
saw in the catalog,

crash in catalina,

and seals will eat him!

You like Phil.

So what?

Fine, he won't be eaten,

but he won't get back
to the mainland.

Linda, quit. I'll
wait right here.

I can't quit now.

Yes, you can. I did.

No one's here I can quit to.

Get out! We have to
touch Indians.

We have to see the
mountains and the prairies

and the whole rest of that song.

Let's make love right now.

I want to have sex
right here, right now.

Please, we can
do it later at home.

Later, OK?

We don't have any spontaneity.

Two responsible people
that can't have sex here?

Why not? It's a room
with a ceiling.

There are some people
you fuck in front of--

We'll find them and
fuck in front of them!

Linda, we're free!
Quit right now.

I can't quit my job.

Fine. I'll wait outside.

Look, my boss isn't here.

Let's talk about this tonight.

I'm hyper. I'm on this high.
It's real!

Go home.

Now, I've got things to do.

I love you. One last chance
for a quickie! Come on!

Wow! Here's a 3-bedroom
ranch on 2 1/2 acres,

immaculate condition
with a hearth.

$55,000.

God, that's really pretty.

Country living, excellent
farmhouse, $129,000.

4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 acres, a pond.

A pond? $49,000.

Come on. That's better-looking
than this house.

Wait. Wait. 5 acres in
Connecticut, $80,000.

How can that be?

Because it's there.

Our new house would
be $200,000 there.

We'd pay half of
what we're paying.

Half! Look at this...

Two-family, barn, $55,000.

Look at that house!
Look at this house!

That's a usable attic.

When have you seen a usable
attic in California?

A usable attic. We have a fan
up there now and a mouse.

Wait. There's a lighthouse here.

An actual lighthouse.
Look at that.

Look--two bedrooms, kitchen...

How does that all fit
in a lighthouse?

I don't know. Go ask them.

This is what I've been doing.

Tell me what you think.

Here it is.

This is everything we have.

We got a ride on the inflation
train that you wouldn't believe.

In 1978, we bought
this house for $150,000.

If we sell our house and don't
put it into a behemoth,

we have $140,000 of profit.

It's amazing.

We'd never see profit putting
it into the other house.

If we pull out of the new house,

we'll lose $15,000 in escrow.

Best $15,000 we'll ever
spend, I promise you.

$125,000 left.

We liquidate everything--

Stocks, your father's bonds...

The minimum
for both cars--$16,500.

I'm being very conservative.

A very conservative liquidation
leaves us $190,000 in cash.

No.

Yes.

We couldn't.

I'm telling you,
$190,000 in cash.

I don't believe it.

All we need is a motor home.

We should get a great one

'cause we're going to live there
for the rest of our lives.

What does a motor home cost?

Guess who went
motor home shopping?

Hi, friends.

Motor homes for sale.

45,000, complete,
for a great one.

30 feet long, a bedroom, a bath,

a kitchen, a microwave,
a little TV.

Beautiful! Better
than our new house.

It has wheels, too.

Now, that leaves us
$145,000 in cash.

Now, play devil's advocate--

Can't you live
20 years on $145,000

if you're living
out of a motor home

and just eating and painting?

This is what we talked
about when we were 19.

Remember? We wanted
to find ourselves,

but we watched
television instead.

Linda, this is
just like easy rider,

except now it's our turn.

I mean, we can drop out,

and we can still
have our nest egg.

I think that's unheard of.

If we like a farmhouse
in Connecticut,

could we make a down payment?

We can buy the
lighthouse and the pond

and still have money left over.

What's the matter?
Why are you crying?

We really can
do anything we want.

Who's stopping us?

Nobody.

Florida. I'm getting Florida.

I'm going to miss you so much!

Ladies and gentlemen, could I
have your attention, please?

Hey, ray!

I'd like to make a toast.

To our beautiful friends,
David and Linda Howard...

Good luck!

Good luck?

The man of no words.

This is a real nice evening

to be here with you folks.

I do have
an announcement to make.

Although we have no destination

and we'll be roaming around
the country forever,

there is one place
we'll stop at first,

and that's Las Vegas, Nevada.

Really?

Because I'd like to,
if she'll have me,

remarry my lovely wife.

Try this on.

Does it fit?

We're both nervous.

I'm drunk, you might be nervous.

Ooh, that's nice.

An 80-year-old woman
helped me pick this out,

but I couldn't tell what
she was pointing to.

I think it was that one.

So, let me make a toast,

see if I can top Ray's toast...

All right, ray.

To our wonderful friends,
we will miss you.

Thanks for being our friends.
We'll think of you.

Thanks for giving us this party.

To you, thanks
for remarrying me.

And good luck with me.

And to America,

look out, here we come!

¶ Get your motor runnin' ¶

¶ head out on the highway ¶

¶ lookin' for adventure ¶

¶ in whatever comes our way ¶

¶ yeah, God, I'm gonna
make it happen ¶

¶ take the world
in a love embrace ¶

¶ fire all of the guns
at once and ¶

¶ explode into space ¶

¶ I like smoke and lightnin' ¶

¶ heavy metal thunder ¶

¶ racin' with the wind ¶

¶ and the feeling
that I'm under ¶

¶ yeah, God, I'm gonna
make it happen ¶

¶ take the world
in a love embrace ¶

¶ fire all of the guns
at once and ¶

¶ explode into space ¶

hey, sweetie.

Yeah.

Come up front. We're
crossing the city line.

Okey-dokey.

Hurry, this is historic.

Ok, OK.

God, this is a great kitchen.

Melted cheese.

Oh, boy.

Mmm.

Microwave?

Yeah.

Mmm. How long this take?

28 seconds.

Including the Browning time?

Everything. Isn't it great?

Good Browning element.

I've never really tasted
melted cheese until now.

I mean, really tasted it.
Tastes good.

I love our kitchen.

Further we get from L.A.,
the better it tastes.

You know something?

I'm nervous,

but I can't wait to marry you.

I just can't wait.

I'm just carried away by this.

Me, too.

Clara says the silver bell
chapel is the cutest one.

I like that name.

We'll get there at 10:30, do it,

and then we're on our way.

Oh, boy!

Las Vegas, here we come!

Bright enough for you?

It's great!

Look at those bells.

This is exciting.

I like it. Let's go.

Aren't you tired?

I'm excited.

I think we should
do this tomorrow.

Let's do it now.

But tomorrow we'll be
up, we'll be fresh,

and we should get
married at dawn.

All right. Ok.

Great idea.

We'll go out,
camp under the stars,

and be the first
couple of the new day.

You really want
to camp out tonight?

Yeah. You don't
want to camp out?

Let's make this an
old-fashioned honeymoon.

Get the best honeymoon suite

and celebrate our heads off.

But Las Vegas represents
everything we left.

It's the worst money-grubbing
place in the world.

Just tonight,

wouldn't it be fun
to have room service,

make love in a big bed,

and watch porno movies?
Wouldn't that be fun?

Porno movies?

We want to touch Indians.

We will, but just tonight.
Never again.

We can take a bath
together in a big tub.

You want to bathe together?

Yeah.

Actually, we haven't taken a
bath together in a long time.

Will this make you happy?

Mm-hmm.

It's yours.

How are you?

Good evening.

We've dropped out of
society, and we were going--

Just ask him for the room.

And we were going to camp
out under the stars,

but we're getting
remarried tomorrow

and we want something
real special,

so, the best bridal suite.

Do you have a reservation?

Well, I just dropped
out of society.

I really don't do
reservation things anymore.

Well, we do, and the
bridal suite is occupied.

Well, we tried.

It isn't occupied.

He just said it was.

It isn't. Give him some money.

How much do I give him?

$50.

Just give him the money.

Um, I've worked
with computers in college,

and I know that sometimes
they're complicated machines.

Why don't you just run it
through one more time?

I think I know what you mean.

I'll just check.

Nope, it's occupied.

No.

Give him more money.

I gave him $50.

He doesn't give the suite.

Give him more money.

I'm not going--

Just give him some more, OK?

Listen, I'm not good at this.

I don't get good seats at games,

and I've never gotten
a ringside table.

It's something
I don't know how to do.

To save time,
how much do you want?

$100.

Oh, my God.

Wait a minute.

I think this is a mistake.

We paid for a suite.

Does this open up?

Junior bridal suite.

What?

Junior bridal suite.

I gave the guy $100 to get
the best bridal suite.

Is there a senior bridal suite?

I don't know.

But I gave him $100.

I don't know.

Is there a big living
room that goes here?

I don't know.

Ok...

Can we get one large
heart mattress?

We can't push those together.

I don't know.

Not at all?

I don't know.

Thanks for the help.

What do you think?

I think if liberace
had children,

this would be their room.

I'll check out the bathroom.

Cute little hearts.

Nice bath?

There's no tub.

None?

No, there's just a tiny
heart-shaped shower.

There goes the bath
fantasy, honey.

We got porno movies
and room service.

Let's go out and see a
show and have some dinner.

Let's stick to our plan

and leave by dawn.

I'm going to take
a nice hot shower.

It's going to be fun.

Sweetie...

Let's get married.

Sweetheart?

Linda?

Linda?

Linda?

Linda?

Hard 8.

8.

Yeah.

Hey, you can't come into the
casino dressed like that.

I saw electric horseman.

An animal rode through
here with lights on.

Come on back to me, 22.

Come on back.

Come on, 22, 22, 22.

Come on back, come on back.

Come on. Come on, 22.

What are you doing?

Not now. Just go away.

How long have you been here?

Root for me. 22, 22, 22.

12.

Shit!

How much did you lose?

Shit!

How much was that?

One more time. 22, 22...

We've got to talk.

Just come on back to me, 22.

She's been here all night.

She's not on a lucky streak.

How much has she lost?

Talk to her.

How much?

Talk.

The man says you're not
on a lucky streak.

What man? I was down earlier.

And you're up now?

No, I'm still down.

How down are you?

David, you'll bring me bad luck.

22, 22, 22.

22.

Yow! Yeah!

All right! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

How much?

$35.

We're up.

We're still down.

How down is she?

Down.

How down are you?

Down! Down!

How much have you lost?

Everything.

What does that mean?

Everything on 22,

and make it happen for me.

22, 22.

Where did you get that number?

Come on, babe!

Double zero.

Shit!

You lost. It's gone.

22! 22! 2, 2, 2...

You have no more money. Stop it!

You really like 22, huh?

Stop it! 22!

I'm going to hit on 22.

Good morning. May I help you?

Um, we just...

That's fine.

Sit here. Sit here.

What happened?

At 2:30 this morning, this
man said I was up $100,000.

How could you gamble
that much money?

It was more chips
than I've ever seen.

You had no chips
when I came downstairs.

I know, but I'll get them back.

Oh, stop it!

You took the cash we had?

Yes.

You cashed your personal checks?

Yes.

You didn't touch the
traveler's checks?

Yes.

No.

The core of the nest egg?

How much is left
of the nest egg?

Nothing, give or take 1,000.

Give or take 1,000?

Yeah.

Oh, God, I can't believe it!

Sweetheart, listen. Listen.

It's like a twilight zone!

But I never had
this feeling before.

There were people
rooting and cheering.

I didn't care.

I didn't have problems!

Do you know
what that feels like?

Why didn't you tell me
when we got married

you were this horrendous
gambling diseased person?

Why didn't you tell me?

Don't you think that's fair.
Then I could've decided.

It's like a venereal disease.

You tell someone about this.

I've only gambled twice.

Twice?

This is the second time.

I can't believe it!
I can't believe it!

What did I do?

Why did this happen?

You don't understand.

Just a minute!
I'm tracing my life.

Ok, there's something
that can be done.

There's something
that has to be done.

Let me just think.

If you pick up a keno
card, I'll kill you.

You listen to me.

You stay right here.

I think I can
get our money back.

Just stay here.

Don't move.

I'll be right back.

Stay!

Why are you treating
me like an animal?

I'll tell you later. Just stay!

How are you feeling?

Can I talk to you privately?

Come on upstairs.

All right.

How are you?

I'm fine.

I've heard a lot about you.

Who were you talking to?

I meant nice things.

You have a good reputation.
You run a great casino.

Is your wife feeling better?

Much better.

I'll present an idea,

but first let me fill you in
on my credentials.

I was creative director
for Ross & McMahon.

You're familiar with them?

No.

One of the biggest advertising
agencies in the whole world,

and I was creative director,

so when I say I have an idea,

I'm not a jerk who walked
in off the street.

It's my business.

My wife and I have
dropped out of society.

We're going to roam the
country and find ourselves.

Like they did in easy rider.

Easy what?

Easy rider. The film?

I didn't see that film.

You got to see it.
It's historic.

Anyway, my wife
and I liquidated.

We put everything
into this nest egg.

We were going to spend
the rest of our lives

roaming the country finding
ourselves-- just being.

We lost our nest egg here.

I realize you lost
a lot of money.

Your room and your
food, comped--free.

Oh, no, no.

I didn't mean that.

That's not what I meant.

Um, all right.

I'll tell you this idea,

and please be secretive.

If another hotel hears,
they'll take it.

This is my business.

As the boldest experiment
in advertising history,

you give us our money back.

I beg your pardon?

Give us our money back.
Think of the publicity!

The Hilton hotel has billboards
all over Los Angeles

where the winners of these
slot machine jackpots,

they're faces are all over L.A.,

and I know that works.

I've seen people say,
"maybe I'll go there."

Well, you give us
our money back.

If we had a visual
where the desert inn

handed us our nest egg back,

this gives
the desert inn, really...

Vegas is not
associated with feeling.

First, those people
on those signs won.

You lost.

But that's it.

That's--
That's the campaign.

What's the campaign?

You gave us our money back

because you reviewed
our situation

and you realized we
dropped out of society

and we--we weren't
just gamblers.

We made a mistake,
you returned our money.

You couldn't get a room
in this place for 10 years.

Then all the gamblers would
want to get their money back.

Not gamblers.
You'd keep the money.

It's just, my wife
and I aren't gamblers.

That's the distinction.

My wife and I represent
the few people--

And there's probably nobody else

that's going to come
and have this happen.

We represent the people who
have taken the chance.

We made a mistake,

and the desert inn corrects it.

There's a warm feeling here.

Everybody won't want it?

No, no, no, no.

You make a distinction
between the bold

and all the schmucks
here for Wayne Newton.

I like Wayne Newton.

I said Wayne Newton?

I heard you say "schmucks
see Wayne Newton."

Liking him makes me a schmuck?

Oh, no. No.

I'm stupid to use an entertainer

as a dividing point.

I meant people
coming to see a show,

and my wife and I who, if
you knew us, believe me...

You're bold.

Yes. So what do you think?

I don't think the sign works--

The sign is wrong.

A jingle, a television campaign.

¶ The desert inn has heart ¶

¶ the desert inn has heart ¶

¶ the desert inn has heart ¶

that's enough.

The casino is our
main means of income.

Not the coffee shop or show.

If we give everybody
their money back,

we can't pay our bills.

I'm sorry. We can't
change our policy.

Play a fun word game with me.

What do you think of when you
think of a hunting lodge?

Hunt.

What do you think of
when you think of a rest home?

You rest.

We'll associate the desert inn
with something beautiful.

You don't think of
anything here now, do you?

Gambling. That's why
people come here.

They gamble.

They go hunting in Wisconsin.

They rest in new Orleans.

Gamblers come to Vegas.

That's why it's called
Las Vegas gambling.

You see signs with
guys shooting ducks?

It's a gambling place.

They don't shoot ducks, beavers.

They come to gamble.

You're a nice guy,
you make me laugh,

but we can't give
your money back.

I'm sorry. I got to go.

What about
miracle on 34th street?

It's a Christmas movie.

Yes. Gimbel's was afraid
if they gave something up

that they would lose.

They wound up benefitting.

He didn't lose
any of his business.

This costs you nothing.

You would be the one benefiting.

Wrong.

In that movie,

Santa claus took
care of everything.

Santa claus came and he
fixed the whole thing.

We don't have Santa claus.

Then we get him.

Who?

Santa claus.
That's the ad campaign.

I have the chills.

Santa claus hands us
our nest egg.

We associate for the first
time Christmas and Las Vegas.

"Las Vegas,
a Christmas place to be."

We're finished talking.

I can't take this anymore.

Will you say something?
Anything.

Yell, scream. Drive off the road.
Anything.

Just stop being so quiet.

I'm fine.

I feel horrible.

I can't apologize enough.

I...

This is unnatural.

You'll get sick.

If I was you, I'd be furious.

You've got to let it out.

I'm fine.

I can't keep apologizing,

so let's talk about
what we're going to do.

Our dream's still the same,

we just don't have any money.

We should stop saying that.

We do have some.

We have $802.

Well, that's something.

Yes. That's something.

We should make the day
as pleasant as possible.

We're headed towards hoover dam.

Let's just make that
our destination.

We can take a walk,
have a picnic,

get some fresh air.
Wouldn't that be nice?

Is that what you'd like?

Yeah.

Fine. Hoover dam.

Nice dam, huh?

You want to go first
or should I?

Are you hungry?

No.

I'm starving.

You shouldn't eat now.

Why?

With what money we have,

let's not waste it
with the knickknacks here.

Why don't you give me my half

and let me do
what I want with it?

That's the fair thing.

The fair thing?
I can't believe it!

I have been too controlled!

What do you mean?

You took our nest egg

and broke it all
over the desert inn!

You filled up the
casino with yolk!

The fair thing! I was sleeping!

Get it out.

Don't treat me like I'm insane.

I don't want you
to yell out here.

Out here? We live here.

Get used to the cement, honey.

This is our house! Forever!

This is it!

We found ourselves.

In the middle
of nowhere with nothing!

Where are you going?

Please come inside.

What is it?

Sit down.

What is it?

Just sit down.

Now, listen.

I apologize from the
bottom of my heart.

I'll make it up to you.

I'll make you breakfast
in bed for life.

Stay away from the food.
You'll lose it.

How did this happen?

I can't understand it.

I held things in
so long, I burst.

What were you holding in?

Everything.

You weren't the only one whose
life wasn't satisfying.

I sat in that office for seven
years without a window.

I felt like I was going crazy.

Why didn't you
wake me up and say,

"I think I'm having
this problem.

Can I go lose everything?"

Then I could've said no.

I'm sure the desert inn

has an all-night shrink service

along with a spa facility.

Someone could've counseled us.

He would've said, "well, look,

"she's got to let it go somehow.

"Why don't you spend 10,000,

rent the goodyear blimp,

and have it flash
positive things?"

Much cheaper, same result!

We could have discussed this.

I didn't understand it
until now.

Oh, great. Congratulations.

I'm glad you understand
everything.

Unfortunately,
I'm still screwed up!

We don't have
the money to fix me.

You're fixed!

Now we have a couple
of hundred for me.

$100,000 for you, $100 for me.

I was sicker than you
to begin with.

Oh, God, I guess
this was my fault.

Maybe I didn't explain

the nest egg well enough.

It's a very sacred thing.

If you had understood
the nest egg principle,

as we'll now call it,

in the first of many lectures

that you will have to get,

because if we're to acquire

another nest egg,

we have to understand
what it means.

The egg is a protector,
like a God.

We sit under the nest egg,

and we are protected by it.

Without it, no protection.

It rains, and the rain
drops on the egg

and falls off the side.

Without the egg, wet--it's over.

You didn't understand it.

That's why we're where we are.

I understood the nest egg.

Please, don't use the word.

It's off-limits to you.

Don't use any part
of it, either.

Don't use "nest,"
don't use "egg."

You can point.

The bird lives
in a round "stick."

And you have "things"
over easy with toast.

Oh, gee. You know
what I'd like to do?

I'd like to give you a small
punishment before lunch

and have you write 1,000
times on the pavement,

"I lost the nest egg."

Say it 500 times.

I lost the nest egg. I lost the nest egg.
I lost the nest egg.

I'm starting for you.

I lost the nest egg--

Shut up with nest egg!

That's not how
you drop out anyway.

You drop out with nothing.

Oh, you do?

Where did you read that?

The Las Vegas guide?

Friends told me.
People who know.

You don't know anybody
who dropped out.

In easy rider,
they had no nest egg.

Bullshit! They
had a giant nest egg.

They had all this cocaine!

That's not true.

Linda, they sold cocaine.

Ok, wait a second.
Wait, wait, wait.

I'm not gonna stand here

in front of one of the
great wonders of the world

and argue about an old movie.

I'll go back inside.

If you figure out how to
make $800 last a lifetime,

knock on the door.
I'll be in there.

Forget it.

Forget what?

Forget everything!

The one good thing
that came out of this

is we forgot to get remarried.

That's the one good thing.

No one's mentioned that yet.

What does that mean?

It means if we
would've gotten remarried,

it would've been much more
difficult to get a divorce.

Now it's easy. I'll stay
in Nevada for six weeks,

then we'll be legally through.

You don't mean that.

You bet your life I do!

I know now that you'll
never let me forget this.

For the rest of our lives
you'll blame me.

I won't have it.

Good-bye, it's over, I'm sorry.

I don't blame you for anything.

You said get angry,
and I got angry.

It's over. Stop it.

It is not over.
You're still yelling.

Because your hand's out!

Now, stop it!

I'm gonna find somebody
who understands my dreams.

Holy shit. Take
your arm back in!

Linda, don't do this!

Get in.

Linda?

Good-bye.

Don't get in that car! Stop it!

I've lost a woman.

A whole woman.

Hi. Just sit anywhere.

Linda, Linda.

She doesn't want to talk to you.

It's my wife, but thank
you for the ride.

I said, she doesn't
want to talk to you.

Please, just thank
him for the ride,

tell him it was a family
squabble, and let's go.

You don't listen real good.

I'm counting to three.

Then I want you out of here.

Don't count. We'll both leave.
Honey, let's go.

1, 2, 3.

Come on, pal.

We got some fightin' to do.

I don't want to fight.

He'll kill me.

Come on, you and me.

This is my wife.

Thank you for the ride.
I appreciate it.

Oh, God.

You remind me of
everything I hate.

I believe you! I understand!

No. Look--

It's not between
you and me, lady.

Call the police!

I'll kill him.

Help! Police!

You don't understand!

Somebody call the police!

Call the police!

Call the police, huh?

If I wasn't wanted,
I'd kick your ass.

He's wanted.

When things cool down,
I'll be back.

You're dead.

You're history, buddy.
You're dead, pal.

I'm dead, pal.

Is this off?

Yeah. Are you OK?

Next time, ride
with a small woman.

Everything will be OK.

Weren't you scared?

What were you talking about?

He told me his life story.

He was divorced,
kicked out of the army,

couldn't keep a job.
He escaped from prison.

What did he do?

He said those two guys
were dead when he got there.

Oh, God.

Well, I showed him, huh?

Yes, you did.

Pity the man who tries
to catch up with me.

That's not funny.

Yes. You'll laugh soon.

No, I won't laugh soon.

Yes, you will.

An adult's not supposed
to get a bloody nose.

That's for children.

Don't make fun of me!

Ok, OK, I'm sorry.

It's beautiful here,
don't you think?

Where do you want to go?

I don't know.

Where are we?

I don't know.

We're in Arizona.

Oh. Want to go to Canada?

Canada?

Yeah, let's live in Canada.

The country?

Do you have any idea how much
it is to fill up a winnebago?

Uh-uh.

Arizona or new Mexico

is all we can do right now.

Ok.

Preferably downhill from here.

Well, I like Arizona.

We'll drive until we
find someplace we like.

This whole thing
is a blessing in disguise.

Don't start that. It's not.

Well, I do--

It's not a blessing.
I don't know what it is.

Fine, you'll see.

Oh, Linda!

What's wrong?

Oh, look.

We're in hell.

We entered hell. When?

Maybe it's not us.

No, he'll tell me who it really is.
Like a courtesy.

Us?

Us?

It's us.

I'm stopping, I'm stopping.

I'm driving a whale here.

What's he look like?

Bad. Bad.

I hate the walk-up the worst.

See your license and
registration, please.

What was I doing?

83 Miles an hour.

Gee, my speedometer--

Can I see your license and
registration, please?

I just bought this.

I know that driving it
out of L.A.--

Your license and registration.

Thank you.

Can I ask a question?

Wait in the home, please.

Wait in the home, please.

Can I ask you a question?

Maybe I was going 70 or 75,

but I don't think it's
possible that I could go 83.

We have good radar.

Radar?

You can't use radar on this.
It's all metal.

This is like a big antenna.

We get cable. We don't want it.

We have a microwave oven.

It's a radar range.

That would screw
it up, wouldn't it?

The dealer said
this would happen.

The dealer said I'd get
a ticket for no reason.

Hey, buddy. Shh.

What will this cost?

$140, $150.

We can't pay that.

That's too high.
We don't have it.

This isn't a swap meet.

Did you see easy rider?

I tried. It doesn't work.

What?

The movie, easy rider.

I can't believe
you asked me that.

That's my favorite movie.

I started riding a
motorcycle because of it.

Why'd you ask?

My husband based
his life on that movie.

For the last couple
of weeks, yes.

How are you?

Remember when
they got blown away?

Great ending.

It made my day.

Remember Jack Nicholson?
The football helmet?

Nicholson wasn't supposed
to get that part.

No, he lucked into it.

Remember the commune?

With the mimes?

Great scene!

Couldn't you
let us go this time?

That would be great.

This is like a club, right?

Hey, get out of here.

Great!

Dennis hopper

wouldn't give Peter Fonda
a ticket, would he?

Hopper couldn't find Fonda.

You're real nice.
I appreciate it.

Did you see the Terminator?

No, I didn't.

You look like him.

Thank you.

Be careful.

You're up 140.

Where are we now?

What does that sign say?

Safford, Arizona.

My legs are asleep.

Let's live here.

Kind of nice having
young people here.

I like it.

Four more,

three more,

two, and one.

Head looks right and left

and bend.

Good.

Honey!

Honey, come on,
breakfast is ready.

You look nice.

Good morning.

Last night was amazing.

Where did we get this?

We brought that with us.

Mmm, good.

Here's your coffee.

Some eggs? Cereal?

Mm-mmm, mm-mmm. Let's save
the rest of the food.

What time did you get up?

I've been up for hours.

I've been all over this place.

There's this creek, and
some people have a garden.

Doctor says I'm losing my sight.

I can't hear you.

Losing my sight in my right eye.

I can't hear you!

Maybe we could get a puppy.

Puppy? We have
to get jobs today.

We'll get jobs today.

It'll be great.
This is the beginning.

For real. We need money.

We will. Great jobs. Today.

Ok. What should we do?

I'm ready to go.

Maybe we should go together.

Separately. We'll
cover more territory.

Be very careful.

I will.

Get a very good job.

I challenge you.

I bet I get one first.

Loser sleeps under the home.

Be back before dark.

I will.

Good luck!

Buy a cheap lunch!

Ok. Bye-bye.

Excuse me.

Oh, boy.

You scared me.

I'm interested
in the delivery job.

Oh. For your son?

For myself.

For you?

Yeah.

You have your own car?

No.

I'm sorry. You would need a car.

I have a motor home.

You couldn't pay for the
gas with what I'd pay you.

I thought you'd
provide the truck.

No, we don't do that.

I was looking for a high-school
kid with a rabbit.

An older man with a motor
home wouldn't work out.

All right. Thank you very much.

I should change that sign
from "man" to "boy."

I guess delivery boy
is more correct.

Leave the sign alone. It's fine.

Any high-paying jobs
in the immediate area?

Hmm, let me think.

No. Not in the immediate area.

What about in the outlying area?

No. I don't know
of any high-paying jobs

in the country, do you?

I don't. I used to.

I'm sorry.
Little down on your luck?

You don't want to hear.

Sure, I would.

There's an employment office
about a half-mile down.

You can't miss it.

Maybe they can help you.

All right. Thanks.

So, Mr. Howard, what
can we do for you?

I need work.

What has been your
previous work experience?

The last eight years,

I was with Ross & McMahon.

I was creative director.

You're familiar with them?

No.

Advertising agency. One of
the biggest in the world.

Before that,
I worked in advertising,

nothing to speak of,
for about five years.

Worked in a catering truck

for seven months in Pittsburgh

and made food.

Uh...

Oh. I worked at a crisis center

for three months.

Not dealing directly--
Well, a couple of crises--

But more just
answering the phone--

The regular phone,
not the crisis.

In high school I worked
at a stuffed fruit place--

We don't have to go
back that far.

Ok. Advertising, eight
years at Ross & McMahon.

What was your previous salary?

$80,000 was the base salary.

I was in a bonus situation,

which would give me 15 to 25,

depending on the year
that we had

and, uh, generally, $100,000.

$100,000?

Over what period of time?

A year.

A year?

What's so funny?

Nothing. That's very good.

What brings you
around these parts?

Trying to double up
on that income?

I've come here to live.

I'm trying to change my life.

You couldn't change
your life on $100,000?

Um...

What have you got
for me? Any jobs?

What I do have,

you wouldn't be interested in.

Why don't you check
back in a month?

I'm very interested.

What do you have?

Coming from your position
and your salary,

you wouldn't be interested.

I might love it. What is it?

A crossing guard.

What is that?

A crossing guard.

At a school?

Where else?

I didn't know if there
were different kinds.

Um, what does that pay?

$100,000.

What does it really pay?

It pays $5.50 an hour
plus benefits.

And the benefits meaning?

A ride to and from
school if you need it.

Do you have anything?

Can you rack your brain?

Something in the executive file?

Or maybe you have a white
collar box or something?

What sort of box would that be?

A box of higher-paying jobs.

Oh, I know.

You mean the $100,000 box?

I'm glad I could be your
morning's entertainment.

I want to tell you something.

I made a statement.

A statement?

Yes. Did you see easy rider?

No.

I saw easy money.

Rodney dangerfield. I like him.

That no respect bit is funny.

I know who he is.

It's under the sink.

Hi, honey!

Don't make me come do it.

Guess what.

A job?

Yeah, I think so. I won't
know until tomorrow.

Doing what?

I'd better not say
in case I don't get it.

Give me a hint.

Assistant manager.
I'll know tomorrow.

That's all I'll say.
I'm superstitious.

I can't believe it.

Yeah. What about you?

Well, I had some good leads.

Give me a hint.

I don't want
to jinx mine, either.

Ok, I understand.

All right?

Have a nice day.

Come on, man. Let's go.

What do you think
you're paid for,

sitting on your ass? Let's go.

Cross us, retardo.

Don't call me retardo.

Come on, retardo.

Right now, sucker.
Across the street.

We ain't got time to wait.

We're already late, retarded.

Come on, retardo.

You're going to get hurt.

Why don't you just
cross the street?

Come on, retardo.

Make us!

Walk your bike!

I'm warning you! Walk your bike.

You come from the dump.

I take no responsibility
for your safety.

Just die for us.
Save us the problem.

Dumb brillo pad fathead!

All righty, all righty.

I was a kid once.

Come here, you!

Come on, fast!

Fast!

Here we go!

Hey, kill the child!

Get away! Get out of here!

Hey, mister, where am I?

Safford, Arizona.

Oh, my God.
How do I get to L.A.?

You know where 70 is?

No.

Go about 3 1/2 blocks.

You see that stop sign?

Yeah.

Turn left. Go all the way
down till you hit 70.

70 turns into 60. That
takes you to Phoenix.

The stop sign, turn left--

What are you smelling?

What is this interior, leather?

Of course.
It comes with the car.

It's nice.

The stop sign,
turn left, go to 70.

70 to 60,
60 to Phoenix, correct?

Right. You like this car?

What's not to like?

Hi!

Hi.

What are you?

I'm a crossing guard.
What are you?

I'm the assistant manager

at the der Weinerschnitzel.

The what?

The der Weinerschnitzel.

The manager said he
wanted to sleep on it,

but he said right after
I left I got it.

He didn't know how
to get hold of me.

That's the job
you were waiting for?

Yeah.

You sell hot dogs?

Wow! This place is great!

When you flush the toilet,
where does it go?

Who is this?

This is skip, the manager.

This is David, my husband.

How you doin'?

You're the manager?

You slept on it?

He slept on it?

How ya doing?

Call me skippy.

Skippy.

Your wife told me what you
did-- that drop-out thing?

Hey, I admire you.

Thanks.

When I get old, I might do it.

Did she tell you what happened?

He's tired. I'll tell him later.

No. I want to hear skip talk.

Thanks. We have
this frying machine.

We didn't know how to use it,

but we used it anyway.

We put the oil in
and everything,

read the instructions, threw the
fries in, blah, blah, blah.

Boom. They were done.
Serve them.

No problem.

She says to me, "skip,
these fries are frozen."

So we looked inside,
and they were frozen.

You were eating them frozen?

What should I do?

Skippy...

The point is, she saw
this minor detail

on the first day.

You got a good wife.

That's why I married her.

That's why I hired her.

I want to talk to her.

Go right ahead.

Come here.

Don't get me wrong.

I've had a lot of fun
the last two weeks.

Things didn't go
exactly like we'd hoped,

but if we're together now,
we won't split up.

That assurance
makes me feel great.

I told you this
would be a blessing.

Right.

Now, given our age
and these jobs,

we won't see another
nest egg for... Ever.

We'll never see anything.

¶ Flintstones,
meet the flintstones ¶

¶ they're the modern
stone age family... ¶

um...

I think that there
has to be some better way

to rebuild than this.

I thought of a plan
to speed things up.

Maybe I should
sound it out with you.

Really? I was kind of
thinking the same thing.

You were?

What is it?

What was your plan?

Mine is just
an emergency backup.

What's your plan?

I was thinking

that we go to New York
as fast as we can.

And I eat shit?

My plan, too!

Skippy, out.

¶ Start spreadin' the news ¶

¶ I'm leavin' today ¶

¶ I want to be a part of it ¶

¶ New York, New York ¶

¶ these vagabond shoes ¶

¶ are longing to stray ¶

¶ right through
the very heart of it ¶

¶ New York, New York ¶

¶ I want to wake up ¶

¶ in a city that doesn't sleep ¶

¶ and find I'm
king of the hill ¶

¶ top of the heap ¶

¶ these little town blues ¶

¶ are melting away ¶

¶ I'll make
a brand-new start of it ¶

¶ in old New York ¶

¶ if I can make it there ¶

¶ I'll make it ¶

¶ anywhere ¶

¶ it's up to you ¶

¶ New York ¶

¶ New York ¶

¶ New York, New York ¶

¶ I want to wake up ¶

¶ in a city that never sleeps ¶

¶ and find I'm a-number one ¶

¶ top of the list ¶

¶ king of the hill ¶

¶ a-number one ¶

Brad!

¶ These little town blues ¶

how are you?

Oh, my God!

Stay away from me.

¶ Are melting away ¶

Brad, I was joking with you.

¶ I'm gonna make
a brand-new start of it ¶

¶ in old New York ¶

¶ and ¶

¶ if I can make it there ¶

¶ I'm gonna make it ¶

¶ anywhere ¶

¶ it's up to you ¶

¶ New York ¶

¶ New York ¶

¶ New York ¶