All language subtitles for Daytime Divas - 01x10 - Lunch is on Us.VH1.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-VLAD.English.C.updated.Addi

Previously on Daytime Divas...

You really think someone
should get away with murder

just because they're rich and famous.

My mom is lying to me
about something important.

- This thing is not going away.
- No, it's not.

It's getting way too close.

Why did Maxine wanna get rid of you?

I have evidence that she
murdered her husband.

I spoke to Anna Crouse.
She told me that you killed Ted.

Nina, darling, if you wanna continue

meddling in my business,
go ahead. But be forewarned

when they go low, I go lower.

My son is a, a trans. Ella.

If you can't accept our child,
then I can't accept you.

You better watch out, unless
you want me to tell everyone

how you really kept your job
on "Lacey," slut.

I just landed a lead role
in a major sitcom.

He has this new family show. I
was talking to him about Tandy.

- Kibby, it's your space dad!
- There's my girl.

I'll go public with everything.

Do you really expect people
to believe you?

It is time to introduce America

to Vance's daughter, Tandy Ainsley!

What?

- Huh?
- No!

I'm not gonna let you
get away with this.

- Ah!
- Oh, something's not right.

- How bad is it?
- Oh, it's bad.

Oh, my baby!

Kib, are you out of your mind?

- Frigging crazy.
- Sit down.

My ass. You shot my ass!

Well, good, everyone's okay.

Now, are you opposed
to gun control, Heather?

Guns don't just go off by themselves.

It takes an unstable person
to pull the trigger.

Oh, my God. I stopped a massacre.

I'm a hero.

Ugh. Ramona, be a real hero
and get me my lunch.

Oh.

Everyone, Kibby merely fired a prop gun.

My bag doesn't have a
prop bullet through it!

Uh, yes, it does because a prop gun

accidently went off
during the rehearsal

of Heather's rootin'-tootin'
cowboy picnic.

- Oh, we're doing it?
- No, we're not.

Uh, Ramona, take Kibby to my office.

Drunky, you owe me a new bag!

He hates you. You ruined
everything, you know that?

- Please, don't be mad at me.
- Kibby.

I hope you get the help you need.

You're the one who
needs help, you sicko!

Ramona, get her out of here!

And I'm still waiting
for my chopped salad.

You already ate it!

synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*

Oh, for God's sake, Kibby,
you went on air wasted

and then you fired a gun.

I have to keep that creep
away from Tandy.

But you don't do it with a gun!

No one was listening to me!
Everyone thinks

Vance is a super-good guy.

And he's dangerous, he's gonna hurt her.

What are you talking about?

He does this thing

where he makes you feel
beautiful and special

and the whole time he's
separating you from your family

and the next thing you know, you
can't do anything without him.

He's like your whole world.

Kibby... did he?

He waited until I was legal, so...

And by then I was already
in what I thought was love.

Oh, my God.

At least I was high the whole time.

If there's one thing
Vance Gordon is good for

he always has the best drugs.

"Happy 15th birthday.
Here's your first bump of coke."

Where was your mother in all this?

He paid her off to keep her quiet.

- Everyone at least he knew to.
- And did nothing?

Because he was making them money.

Kibby, I will take
care of you and Tandy.

I promise.

You need to take care
of your sobriety. Okay?

She's jealous. She can't stand the fact

that Tandy is working with Vance now.

She has been obsessed with me for years.

It's sad. I mean, and
now she's delusional.

Well, she seems pretty convinced.

She's a drug addict.

It's genetic on her father's side.

But Kibby needs our
compassion right now.

Kibby, Kibby, Kibby.

Bitch murdered my crocodile.

[bleep] Kibby. I don't give
a [bleep] about Kibby!

Hey, Maxine! Hey, so that's it?

The party line is a prop gun went off?

We're just gonna pretend like nothing

happened between Kibby and Vance?

- I'm taking care of it, Nina.
- What are you taking care of?

Kibby, or your precious show?

Because we all know you're really good

at sweeping criminal acts under the rug.

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Your dearly departed husband, Ted.

Nina, be careful.

- I always am.
- Really?

Because I've been learning
a lot about the loose ends

in your charmed life.

Okay, Principal Freewoman, calm down.

I come bearing no weapons, only a tiara.

Yes, I need to speak
with you about that.

Oh, I would love that.

After the day I've had,
nothing makes me happier

than beauty pageant
rehearsal with the kids.

There's been some parental concern

that a pageant promotes and encodes

a standard of beauty as defined
by a patriarchal society.

Yes!

We find that offensive and detrimental

to the students' self-esteem.

The pageant is cancelled.

Isn't that sweet?

A agave icing
on the dairy-free cake.

First they come after my
gun, and I did nothing.

Now, they're coming after my pageant...

It goes against everything

that Crossroads Academy stands for.

Oh?

Your mission statement

clearly says "Honor the child."

My Ella begged for a beauty
pageant, so if you deny her this

you're denying the dreams
of a transgender child.

You're playing the trans card?

If you've got it, flaunt it.

Fine, but there'll be no finalists

no winners, no losers.

T-there has to be a winner.
We're crowning a Ms. Crossroad.

No genders. All shapes, all sizes.

Well, can there at least be a tiara?

As long as there's one for everybody.

Fine, but it's not my fault

if one happens to be
bigger than the others.

Hey, this doesn't make any sense.

Anna maybe a loon,
but she is a good journalist.

She says she had definitive evidence

and nothing in this box

points to your mother killing Ted.

And I think that's
because William did it.

- What?
- Look, my-my mom and William.

They lied about
how long they've been together.

And maybe it's because he killed Ted

and they don't want anyone
to even suspect he was there.

Well, that's an interesting theory.

Look, Ted was a bastard.

Half the time he was
a complete prick to my mom

and all she would do was
just make up excuses for him.

That doesn't sound like your mother.

She loved him so much,
she'd do anything for him.

And I refuse to let that
happen with William.

She's not taking the fall for him.

Shawn, I promise you

I'm gonna find out what happened.

And if Anna has definitive evidence

then I will pry it
out of her big grubby hands.

How's your busted booty?

It's been better.

But I know you didn't come
all the way up here

just to give me a get-well basket.

Well, then I'll take it back.

Look, I know what Kibby did
was irresponsible and dangerous

and, yeah, a bit nuts,
but it wasn't random.

- Oh, well, that's comforting.
- We know Kibby needs help.

But, it was a reaction to Vance Gordon.

You need to fire him from "In A Pinch."

He should not be around young women.

- Yeah, we've heard the rumors.
- You know?

And you're letting that pig
on set with Tandy?

He's a grabby guy, so is the one
in the White House.

Vance coerced Kibby
into a relationship.

He said, she said.
Look, who are you gonna believe?

The hot mess or the star
with a squeaky-clean image?

I am sticking with that hot mess.

Fine. We'll keep an eye on him, okay?

But Vance Gordon
is a big get for this network

and I am not going to fire him.

There is, however,
someone you need to fire.

Jason really has me up against the wall.

Same corporate bullshit,
legal liability.

Vance could sue
for defamation of character

and you, my dear, you are uninsurable.

Yeah, 'cause I'm the dangerous one.

I know. It's not fair.

- Of course, no one believes me.
- Yet.

I'm not done. I'm gonna get them
to believe you.

Why? The truth doesn't set you free.

It just brands you a liar.

I am not gonna listen
to any of this kind of talk.

Your job is to trust me

and to stay sober.

Kibby is off the show for good?

Kibby is on leave, but
we're lucky that Ashley Graham

finished her Barbie tour
just in time to sit in for her.

- Hi, ladies. I'm so excited.
- Great.

Kibby's victimized again
and then replaced by a model.

Uh, no offense,
I really liked your TED talk.

Time to line up!

Something happened
between her and Vance.

Wow, wow, wow, you don't know that.

Yes, I do and so do you.

You just don't want anything
to hurt your little sitcom.

You know, I like you a lot better

when you're whining about a lipo.

- Guys, come on.
- Ramona.

Ashley wants a sparkling water.
I got it.

So, I love your work in "Sports
Illustrated. Phenomenal stuff."

We don't know what happened between

her and Vance. We weren't there.

Okay, if this were Savannah
or Ella, would you believe them?

- Well, yeah, of course.
- Spoken like a true Republican.

No empathy unless it's your own family.

Even her own mother said

that she was delusional.
Mothers don't lie.

School lunches made
easy and scoliosis prevention.

You know what, I blame you, Heather.

You shouldn't have
brought that damn gun.

Here they are.
Maxine, Mo...

She could've just as easily

gotten that knife from craft service.

That thing can't even cut bagels.

And guest co-host

"America's-Next-Top-Model" judge

Ashley Graham.

- Classic pervert.
- Ladies, enough.

I am standing behind Kibby
and doing all I can to fix this.

Okay? Trust me.
I have everything under control.

Uh, hi, everybody, and
welcome to "The Lunch Hour."

Shit. Ramona,
why didn't you tell us?

Uh...

Welcome, welcome. We are
so happy to have Ashley Graham

as our co-host today.

So excited to be here, Maxine.

So, is it too late for me to sign up

to be in "America's Next Top Model?"

Oh, Mo.

You get more outlandish every day.

Uh, Kibby will be gone for a while.

She's making a fascinating indie movie.

Ooh, is she playing
a gun-wielding psycho?

Because she could nail that.

No, she's playing an
abused woman who finally snaps

and takes justice into her own hands.

Kinda sounds empowering.
I can't wait to see it.

Ashley, as a pageant girl

you pretty much always won swimsuit.

I just find your body-positive
activism to be so great.

Thank you, I just worry sometimes

that pageants are giving
this unrealistic version

of what beauty actually is.

Exactly. Skinny white
bitches like Heather.

Excuse me, but pageants
are very diverse and inclusive.

I once lost to a Latina
and I was fine with it.

Okay, a rainbow of skinny bitches.

Honestly, ladies, at the end
of the day, I just want women

to feel comfortable in their own skins.

So, even if a person
is a homicidal millennial?

Or a victim of a crushing
society that rewards white men?

What are we talking about exactly?

- Nothing.
- Nothing.

Let's move on
to our first topic of the day...

Beep, beep, it's

Tandy, if you're leaving a voicemail

you're old too old to be calling me.

Tandy, no matter what

you're my sister and I love you.

I really wish you would just talk to me.

- ...the message that the pride...
- Please.

I've got one word for you.

Prenup.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Is there anything I don't know
about the night that Ted died?

I don't think so.

It was an accident

a sad, terrible accident.

Yeah, that's the story.

But, I'm starting to have some doubts.

Well, you shouldn't.
That's exactly what happened.

I hope so, William

because I'm always gonna
look out for my mom.

She can't get hurt again.

- Have a good night, alright?
- You, too.

Get in.

I'm so pleased to see
how well your campaign is going.

What do you want?

I wanna know exactly

what it is that Nina's has been hiding.

And have her come after me again?

I can't afford another scandal

especially now.

My campaign is finally turning around.

I'll deal with Nina.

I'm known for keeping
my promises, Andrew.

I'm gonna need a little more than that.

I'm also known for
making large donations

to support the candidates
that I believe in.

You know, Nina's Pulitzer?

She stole it.

Really, Anna

you have been working
on this case forever

and this is all you have?

I thought you were a real journalist.

Of course, there is more.

In fact, I have the biggest piece

of the Maxine-Ted pie.

Stop playing me, Anna.
I don't have time for this.

This is the only copy of a tape

made the night Ted died.

Did you really think
I was just gonna hand you

the biggest story of my career?

I don't want your story.

I just wanna know
what happened that night.

I'll get my boom box, run out
and grab some C batteries.

Great. Right there.
Oh, the perfect glitter just...

This entire pageant
is a regressive obscenity.

- It's objectifying.
- Heterosexist.

- Who are you?
- Bobby.

I'm with a Y, she's with an I.

Look, this whole thing is very positive

and affirmative.

Take your Beatrice for example...

It's Beatrix with an X.

Well, your Beatrix

not only has her choreography down pat

but she has that kind of sparkle
that you just can't fake.

Why isn't our girl in the front
during the number?

Yeah, what's that about?

- Trying to fix this contest, too?
- Ah.

I will do whatever I want, bitch.

That's America's happiest couple

Maxine and Ted.

And that's Ted taking a little tumble.

- Is that another male voice?
- No.

It's just Ted pleading for his life.

Oh. Oh, right. Of course.

I mean, I know the quality
is a little crappy, but...

Oh, well, I can fix that.
I just need to take the tape...

Not my tape. It's my story.
It's not leaving this place.

Anna...

...you need my help. I have a Pulitzer.

And your professional credibility is

it's a little lacking.

What are you talking about?
I'm in a great place.

- Anna, can you make me a latte?
- Sure, you stupid-face Bowen.

- You don't own me.
- Go make me a latte.

Give me a second,
I gotta go make him a coffee.

Oh.

Oh, my God! Yes,
this momma's stepped all up.

- Big smiles. Big smiles.
- Okay.

Wow, I see! You know
how to work it for the cameras.

I guess that's from
being around showbiz.

- No, I wasn't around her very much.
- Oh.

Well, it's from being
around Kibby a lot.

Oh, no, she didn't live
with us very much, either.

What, did she live with your dad?

No, no, Vance.

- What?
- Big smiles.

Yeah, she moved into his house.

It was just easier, you know?

They were on the same schedule.

And my mom didn't like waking up early

and taking her to the studio.

Oh, wow. Okay, cool, cool. It's cool.

Okay, let's have Vance come in.

Ah! Ah, here comes daddy.

- Alright!
- Oh!

Oh, wow!

Hey.

- You were right.
- Oh?

You know that turns me on.

Want to head back to your
office and celebrate?

- It's about your mom.
- Okay. That's over.

- What'd you find out?
- Anna has a tape of that night.

And I heard a second man voice on it.

What? Is it William?

I think, but I won't know for sure

until I get it scrubbed.

I know you and Kibby
have a complicated relationship.

Complicated. That's a polite way
of saying terrible.

You have a second chance here,
Sheree. You can help Tandy.

I thought you asked me here
to talk about Kibby.

Yes, but I think Kibby's acting out

because she's worried about Tandy.

Oh.

Oh, please.

She's just worried about herself.

This is all just a cry for attention.

I think I know my daughter.

This is what happens
when I'm not managing her.

Well, I'm trying to talk to you

as the girls' mother
and not their manager.

Now, the way to help Kibby is
to make sure Tandy is protected.

From what?

From a great part on a network sitcom?

You know what, who the hell
do you think you are?

Making judgments from your left chair.

- I was just trying to help.
- Go work at a soup kitchen.

This is none of your goddamn business.

Oh, Maxine!
I need to talk to you.

Email or text is best.

Wait, I think Kibby's
telling the truth about Vance.

- Of course, she is.
- Well, look.

Being a woman in this industry

I have been in lot of
uncomfortable situations.

And this time I will not roll over.

Uh, uh, I'm sorry.

Are you telling me
you care about someone

other than yourself?

Yes, and it's exhausting.

Well, take a nap, because
sadly, no one believes Kibby.

But... we could make them.

What, you're letting Mo do stand up?

That's not fair. You never let me sing.

Oh, Heather, you can sing,
just at church

where people can pray for it to end.

Calm down, Heath.

I'm dragging my ass
to Ella's beauty pageant.

Isn't that enough charity for one week?

- Maxine, can I do a segment...
- No.

Oh, I'm sorry, Ashley,
it's just a reflex.

I thought you were one of them.

Me? No, I can never be
one of you guys.

- Yeah, it's a tough job.
- No, I mean.

I'm just too busy with my
modelling endorsements

my TV gigs, the clothing lines

to be here for two hours a day?
Oh, gosh, no.

Give it up for Maxine Robinson,
ladies and gentlemen.

Yes. Ha-ha.

Can you believe, after ten years

of doing segments on eating disorders

genocide and global warming

she's finally letting
the audience laugh?

See, now, doesn't that feel good?

Well, as all of you may know,
I'm starring on a new sitcom

with a guy named Vance Gordon.
You know him?

From "Lacey From Outer Spacey"

America's favorite DILF.
Oh, yes, ladies.

He's definitely a silver fox

that I don't mind
lettin' in my henhouse.

You know what I'm saying?

Except for the fact

that I'm not quite his type.

I may be his TV wife, but in real life

you know, I'm like
a senior citizen to him.

Yeah, you know, he prefers the ones

that are not quite able
to rent cars yet.

What? I'm serious. Ask Kibby.

Okay, on "Lacey From Outer Spacey"

she played his daughter,
but in real life

well, she was his leading lady.

Dear Lord, is she really gonna go there?

Oh, she is there.

You want me to cut to commercial?

Don't you dare.

Kibby was his youngest
and favorite daughter.

I mean, he would do anything for her.

Oh, baby, you're feeling sad?

Well, daddy's got some uppers.

Oh, oh, baby, you can't sleep?

Oh, daddy's got those downers for you.

Running lines with Vance Gordon...

...takes on
a whole new meaning.

- Whoo!
- That's disgusting.

I wanted Vance to be my dad growing up.

I gotta rethink my adolescence.

Look at those idiots
taking Vance's side.

Well, there'll always be haters.

Oh, hey, little man.

So, did you catch me on the show today?

Sorry, I had to out Vance,
but America needed to know.

And he's replaceable anyway.

Oh, you know what I was thinking?

How about Matthew McConaughey?

Actually, we're replacing you.

- You're off the sitcom, Mo.
- Jason

Mo was just telling the truth.

Or, maybe she was slandering

one of the network's
most valuable stars.

No, wait a minute, listen here,
you broken-ass little douche...

This is not up for debate.

Seriously, Jason?

- I just got fired.
- Again?

This is some bullshit!

What is with all the
security around here?

I had to flash the guards both my boobs

instead of just the one this time.

I'm kidding, I still have my badge

from when I worked here.

Anna, how are you?

Well, I'd be a lot better
if you hadn't stolen my tape.

- Where is it?
- I-I don't have it. I...

I sent it to go get scrubbed so that

we can prove that
you were right about Maxine.

You are a liar! I always knew
you wanted my story

this story that's gonna save my career.

Anna, I am trying to help you.

The second I get that tape back

we can sit down
and listen to it together

and you will get to write
the story that you wanted.

You better because I
am writing this story.

I may need a proofreader.
I'll let you know.

Well, I'm here for you!

Anna, what a surprise.

I didn't hear your clodhopping feet.

Thanks, M. I have lost weight.

I'm just here
working on a story with Nina.

It's about you, actually.

And this time you can't kill it.

I-I'm sorry, I was trying
to process that threat

but I was asphyxiated by your breath.

Onion bagel?

It was in everything!

I see you've added Anna Crouse

to your girl squad.

We're just working on
something together.

I'd slow your roll if I were you.

I know about the Pulitzer.

Wow, what a bombshell, huh?

It would ruin your career.
Then I'll have to fire you.

You'd be exiled from New York

and then probably have to take
a job in Poughkeepsie...

...as a weather girl.

Well, at least you'll
have something to watch

with your wife from the prison rec room.

Look.

Maxine, I'm willing to drop all of this

if you will just tell Shawn the truth

about what happened that night.

You're lecturing me about the truth?

Uh, sweetie, sweetie.

You're playing very heavy on the keys.

Remember what Mommy told you?
Gentle, gentle.

Okay, let's, let's try it from the top.

Mommy, I'm tired.

Well, nobody said pageants are fun.

If you wanna win,
you have to work harder

than everybody else.
Alright, let's do it again.

- Daddy!
- Hey, B.J.

Watch me.

Why are you making him do this?

I'm not making Ella do anything.

Softly, sweetie, softly.

Besides, she loves it.

Fine, she is what she is

but do we have to parade it around

for everyone to see and comment on?

Well, why shouldn't we?

She's a beautiful and
talented little girl.

Smile, sweetie, smile.
Pageant teeth. Whee!

I'm very proud of her.

And you can come and support her or not

but just know that if you don't,
you'll break her heart.

- Good job, honey.
- What'd you think, daddy?

Well, good-good job, son. Shine. Really.

No one is funny like you, Mo.

And trust me, they'll
come crawling back.

Once again, Leon, you have no idea

of what you're talkin' about.

I know what you did was right

which... is hot.

Does it always come
back to that for you?

Well, is that a problem?

Of course not, fool.

Now take off your pants

so I can sex some of this sadness away.

Oh, yeah.

You can't just run and hide
from something like this.

I'm not hiding, I'm going to India

for peace and enlightenment.

I need a spiritual [bleep] awakening.

Call it what you want,
it's still running away.

Look, I really appreciate
what you and Mo did for me

but Vance won, I'm just a little whore

that tried to take down America's dad.

Now everyone hates me.

Poor Kibby having
her own little pity party.

Do you really think
you're the first woman

who's ever gone through
something like this?

No. I know, I'm not.

I wasn't even Vance's first.

Kibby, there is power in numbers.

No, I really don't wanna have to...

I know. But you need to strap it
on and get to work.

I know you trolls think I'm a drunk

an addict and a liar. And I get it.

Why would you believe me?

But maybe you'll believe
America's sweetheart

my "Lacey" co-star, Maddie Finn.

When Kibby called me,
my first thought was

"Ew. I thought I told that skank
to lose my number."

Rude.

There's a reason we don't get along

and it all goes back to working on

"Lacey From Out Of Spacey"
with Vance Gordon.

Vance was my TV dad.

And my TV uncle.

And IRL he was both of our boyfriends.

Vance totally screwed us up.

Look, we may not be angels

but, you shouldn't have to be
perfect to be believed.

And creeps who prey on young women

shouldn't be rewarded.

Right, so call Jason Abel at NEB

and tell him you agree.
Hash tag Fire Vance Gordon.

We're done being afraid
and we're done being ashamed.

- Vance Gordon is a prick.
- We won't shut up about it.

So, let's get it trending, bitches.

Oh, my God.

I know.

What are you talking about?

I know Shawn killed Ted.

How could you keep this
a secret for so long?

I have my reasons, but not a day goes by

that I don't blame myself
for what happened.

Shawn showed up at the apartment drunk.

He was a different person
back then, drinking, drugging

always angry.

And that night he was out of control.

Ted had taken all of Shawn's trust money

without telling anyone and put it

into a high-risk investment.

- It's all gone!
- Calm down.

Yeah, you know,
you should check your accounts.

- They're probably clear, too.
- What did you do?

You know, you're a spoiled brat

who wants the mommy
to clean up all of your messes.

- Shawn!
- I told you...

As much I tried

I couldn't help my son or myself.

My marriage was crumbling.

I think you've had enough.

I will do whatever I want.

Ted had become violent

and I didn't have the
strength to leave him.

- Shawn, stop it!
- Come on.

Oh.

Ted!

Oh, my God.

I couldn't fix this.
I couldn't fix any of it

so I called the only
person I could trust

someone I had become very close to.

Get up here now.

William got Shawn out of the apartment.

For once, I was grateful
that Shawn was so drunk

he completely blacked out.

He wouldn't remember what he did

and I vowed he'd never find out.

Tell the police that you came home

and found Ted on the floor dead.

Oh, my God!

You have been protecting
him this whole time.

Well, that's what a mother does.

Right?

But I failed. I should've
gotten him help.

Maybe I could've stopped him
from doing something

that would ruin his life.

Maxine, I'm so sorry

that I have been chasing this.

We both love Shawn very much.

So, can we put this all to bed?

Yes.

I just have one thing I need to do.

What do you mean disintegrated?

Cassette tapes last forever.

Unfortunately, over time

the tape has degraded too much
to survive the transfer.

I have no story? I mean,
I've already written half of it.

I even managed to work
in the word insouciance

without sounding pretentious.

Well, that is a hard word.

Not to mention I just put Visine
in Bowen's coffee.

No, Bowen, don't y...

- Oh, that's his problem.
- I'm sorry.

Anna, we tried.

So, now I'm just supposed
to trash the story?

This is not okay, Nina.

Is American dad America's grief?

This is great. This is everywhere.

Yeah. It's great. But, I lost my sitcom.

She could at least mention
that I'll be performin'

at the Improv all week.

It took a lot of guts.

Yeah, you know, I figured
I should get back in front

of an audience right away.

- Were we still on Kibby?
- It's show time, everyone.

It's starting, the pageant's starting.

Beatrix had a really good warm-up.

Your daughter better bring it.

Oh, it's been brought.

♪ Welcome to the Inner Beauty Pageant ♪

♪ Where self-esteem
and confidence are magic ♪

- Asia Pacific Islander.
- Latin X.

- Ginger.
- White!

- Product of a sperm donor.
- Yes!

- Vaccine-free.
- Handy-capable.

Just showin' up.

♪ It's almost time for us to know ♪

♪ Who we miss or sis or mister ♪

♪ Or transgender patrol ♪

That's the only way
you can have the pageant.

And so "In A Pinch" is officially dead.

Oh, thank God!

And, on behalf of the network

we would like to invite you back
on "The Lunch Hour."

- Oh!
- And offer you a salary bump.

Ah, yes, five percent.

- Ten percent.
- Oh.

Sure, fine, ten percent.

And the network insists
on mandatory rehab.

Oh, yes. Yes, we do.

And one more thing, Jason, and
I can't believe I'm saying this

but what will you be doing for... Mo?

Now, give it up for Fatima.

Oh, my goodness, I have never seen
a person in a wheelchair twerk!

Oh! Ha. Hit it! Hit it!

Ooh, I got a call from the network

so, I gotta go. You know I'm important.

So, we're gonna take
a brief intermission

and we will be right back.

And to be honest, Mo, "In A Pinch"

it wasn't the right vehicle
to showcase your talents anyway.

Normally I'd like a nice, long ass kiss

but tick-tock, little man.

You see, that's,
that is why we love you.

So, um, let's do lunch

and we'll start kickin' around
some new pilot ideas for you.

How's that sound?

Okay, okay, but I gotta go

because right now I'm in the middle

of a major, major gig.

And after today

you may not be able to even afford me.

- Ah...
- Yes!

Whoa! Whoa!

Nailed it!

Uh, she's okay.

Oh, I've seen better

in the Olympics.

Oh! Oh, my God, Ella's next!

We are running a jam
with Ella Kellogg on the piano.

Does Brad Jr. have fake eyelashes on?

Ella is wearing them, yes.
It makes her happy.

And you can't win a pageant
without false eyelashes.

"And one day plans to have

a-my-little-pony themed wedding."

Give it up for Ella!

- Ouch.
- Hey, back off, buddy.

It's Bobby.

That's the one with a Y.

Oh, hey, hey, any word on the tape?

No. Not yet.
Look, that tape is really old.

There's a good chance we're not
gonna get anything from it.

I just really need to
know if it was William.

Look, I know you wanna protect your mom

but what would knowing the truth do?

Would it really change anything?

Baby, it was a very shitty time

for me and my mom. I just want closure.

I-I just wanna stop thinking about it

so, we can just get back to us.

Wow, Beatrix.

So, you invented an app

and already made $300,000?

And donated it all to an
orphanage in the Sudan.

Get off my stage. Get off the stage.

Beatrix has this sewn up.

Well, look on the bright side.

It's good for a kid
to learn disappointment.

It makes 'em stronger.
It's called grit, Heather.

Okay, Ella, Ella!

Okay, Ella, your question is

what would you do

to make the world a better place?

Hm, um...

I would make copies of
my mom and dad in a 3D printer

and give them to every kid

because my mom and dad
love me no matter what

and everyone should have that.

That's a good answer, Ella.

We got this.

I did not see that coming.

No one did.

- Beatrix was ra.
- So was Ella.

That's sweet of you to say.

The important thing
is that our daughter is happy.

I think so, too.

That was so much fun,
I'm totally gonna win next year.

It's good to dream.

I knew I couldn't trust you,
but no hard feelings.

You just made my big-ass
story even bigger

with a very compelling plot twist.

- Now, Anna, you can't...
- Ooh, oops, got it.

Don't you love the cloud?

Now I can listen to Shawn
killing his stepfather

on any device.

What are you doing?

Just saying hello to my little friend

the detective.

Yo, Stag, get down
to "The Lunch Hour" set now.

I've got something that'll
make both our careers.

Oh Maxine, your face!

Oh, this was totally
worth a trip across the hall.

Don't get a Botox
for the next ten minutes.

I want the detective to see
all that emotion.

Anna, you wanna hurt me, not my son.

Anna, please, I am begging you.

Shawn and I are having a baby.

Can you just call off the detective?

Have some compassion.

Like you had for me?

Stag should be here any minute.

Alright, what do you want, money?

Oh, no thanks. I have all I need.

I have the story of a lifetime.

I get it, you wanna restore
your career with a byline.

But what's next?

You don't want people to think
you're a one-trick pony, do you?

Oh, don't worry, sweetie.
I'll dig something up.

That's what everybody says.

What if I gave you your follow-up?

What if you walk out of here
with two big ass stories?

No, Nina. Don't be stupid.

I'm listening.

Ramona, the show starts in two minutes

where's my mother and Nina?

I think they're in Maxine's office
but they are not answering.

Hey, mom, what are you..

Whatever. We have a show to do.

Yes, we have a show to do.

- We're on our way.
- Break a leg, girls.

- Call places, Ramona.
- Places.

Maxine, I just wanna
wish everyone a great show.

Thank you, Jason.

Okay, everyone.
We're back in 60 seconds!

Oh, look at this.

The gang's back together.

Again. Ha-ha-ha!

To a thousand more shows.

Yes.

Well, partner, we finally
did something together.

I suppose we should give
each other props for that.

Believe it or not,
gotta give it up to you, girl.

You own that left chair.

Well, thank you, Mo.

And easy is the head
that wears the crown.

Oh, don't I know.

When I won Miss South Savanna...

Oh, you were a beauty queen?

Wow, why haven't I heard that before?

Hey, thanks for showin' up.

- Come.
- Okay, Jesus, Momma.

Can't a mother just hug her son?

Not when I'm workin'.

Today on "The
Lunch Hour", Kibby returns.

Have a great show, Maxine.

Thank you, Ramona.

Here they are, Kibby, Nina, Heather

Mo, and Maxine.

Hello and welcome
to "The Lunch Hour."

Now, before we get to our conversation

I would like to welcome
back Kibby Ainsley.

Thank you so much.

I wouldn't be back here
without all of your help.

And if there's one thing I've learned

it's to never be afraid
to speak through truth.

Funny you should say that,
Kibby, because that brings us

to today's very special guest.

Oh. Special like Idris Elba?

Have you seen the naked pictures of him?

Uh, please welcome Anna Crouse.

Did she say Anna Crouse?

Anna, uh, why don't you tell
everyone what you've been up to

since your last visit.

When she threw that mug at the camera?

Thank you for asking, Maxine.

Well, as most of you know
I'm a journalist

with a particularly
impeccable instinct for a story.

Uh, in fact Anna's instinct
has affected me profoundly.

What? She discovered you were
the one that stinks up

the woman's bathroom 'cause it's not me.

- It's not me.
- Guys, we're on television.

Actually, it concerns the death

of Maxine's husband, Ted Windsor.

A decade ago, I came home
and found my husband dead.

That was the story I told the police.

Ha!

Yes, Anna. It was fallacious.

- What is "fallacious?"
- It means not true.

The meaning is not-not true.

- Oh.
- Not-not true.

- What I uncovered was...
- The truth.

Mom, the detective's
here, what's goin' on?

Uh... it wasn't an accident.

The person responsible
for my husband's death is...

Maxine! It was Maxine!

Yes.

It was.

It was me.

Ted was inebriated.

He lunged at me.

In self-defense I pushed him,
he fell, he hit his head

and he died.

And she covered it up
and lied to the police.

And that was the wrong thing to do.

But, um, I was ashamed.
Me, Maxine Robinson.

Strong formidable woman...

...in an abusive relationship.

So, I'm sorry to all of you ladies

but it's, it's time
that I take responsibility.

And I'll miss you.

- Cut to commercial.
- No, Maxine, no!

- Cut now.
- Shawn, keep it rolling.

Hell, yeah, we are.

Mom, Mom. Mom, tell 'em it was William.

Tell 'em that it was William.
Okay, okay.

Don't... Mom, just tell
'em it was William.

Uh, uh. Ah, Ramona focus. Focus!

Look, I know that we
are all going through

a difficult time here
at "The Lunch Hour"

but we are gonna get
through this together

with me in the left chair.

- Ah, what do you want?
- Maxine's done.

- You're up next, Nina.
- Yeah, I am well aware.

You can't arrest her for this.
It was self-defen...

Maxine, don't go!

Oh, wouldn't it be ironic
if I won a Pulitzer

for exposing your stolen Pulitzer?

You just remember the deal.

Shawn never finds out
what he did to Ted.

Maxine, Maxine, do you
have anything to say?

Yes, tomorrow on "The Lunch Hour"

restless leg syndrome and Nicki Minaj.

And always remember, lunch is on us.

synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*