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1
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BAIRD: Jenkins!
2
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Where was the artifact found?
3
00:00:02,693 --> 00:00:04,060
La Brea Tar Pits.
4
00:00:04,061 --> 00:00:05,262
A volunteer at the
paleontology department
5
00:00:05,263 --> 00:00:06,930
uncovered it by accident.
6
00:00:06,931 --> 00:00:09,232
From the description of it,
sounds like the Osiris Stone,
7
00:00:09,233 --> 00:00:11,201
which has the power to reanimate.
8
00:00:11,202 --> 00:00:12,969
Which explains all the
saber-toothed tigers
9
00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:14,337
running through the
streets of Los Angeles.
10
00:00:14,338 --> 00:00:15,605
Jenkins, we need a door!
11
00:00:15,606 --> 00:00:17,874
I grabbed some spears
from the weapons room.
12
00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:20,277
I found some nets. Gosh, I hope they're
big enough for saber-toothed tigers.
13
00:00:20,278 --> 00:00:22,279
Make that woolly mammoths.
Someone just Instagrammed
14
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,880
one of them crashing into a tour bus.
15
00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:25,282
- (SCREAMING ON PHONE)
- We're gonna need bigger nets.
16
00:00:25,283 --> 00:00:26,583
- Jenkins?
- Coming!
17
00:00:26,584 --> 00:00:28,585
BAIRD: Jenkins, there you are.
18
00:00:28,586 --> 00:00:30,453
We need a door to the La
Brea Tar Pits, buddy, now.
19
00:00:30,454 --> 00:00:32,554
Yeah, sure. One door coming up.
20
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:37,993
Good luck, Librarians.
21
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Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
22
00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:58,380
Hmm.
23
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:14,596
I don't think this is right.
24
00:01:17,935 --> 00:01:19,468
Hello.
25
00:01:20,271 --> 00:01:21,637
Anyone here?
26
00:01:33,751 --> 00:01:35,884
Jeff Peppers.
27
00:01:56,007 --> 00:01:57,406
Oh, my...
28
00:01:58,109 --> 00:02:00,443
Oh, my dear God.
29
00:02:00,444 --> 00:02:02,279
- Jeff!
- (GASPS)
30
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,680
What are you doing, Brad Pitt,
31
00:02:03,681 --> 00:02:04,981
staring at yourself?
32
00:02:04,982 --> 00:02:06,383
No, madame, um, you...
33
00:02:06,384 --> 00:02:08,018
You overslept again, Jeff.
34
00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:09,119
You gotta feed the babies.
35
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,654
I'm not him. He's not me.
36
00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:12,889
And, after you're done,
I've got a list of chores.
37
00:02:12,890 --> 00:02:15,792
I need you to fix that dish.
It's acting screwy.
38
00:02:15,793 --> 00:02:17,560
I thought we could watch a
"Wheel Of Fortune" later.
39
00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:19,296
Wait, madame, I beseech
you to listen to me.
40
00:02:19,297 --> 00:02:20,664
Something horrible has happened...
41
00:02:20,665 --> 00:02:22,499
Well, something horrible
is about to happen
42
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,935
if you don't get up those
stairs and feed the babies.
43
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,569
I will do no such thing...
44
00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:28,405
Feed the babies! Feed the babies!
45
00:02:28,406 --> 00:02:30,307
- I will not feed your bab...
- Get up there.
46
00:02:30,308 --> 00:02:31,841
You know what your responsibility is.
47
00:02:31,842 --> 00:02:33,944
- Listen... I know... I can't...
- Get in there.
48
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,947
All right, don't forget to clean all the
litter boxes and refill their bowls.
49
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:41,384
The eyedropper for poor little
Tessie's pinkeye is on the counter.
50
00:02:41,385 --> 00:02:45,055
Otto's got ringworm again, so don't
forget to give him those suppositories.
51
00:02:45,056 --> 00:02:46,556
(CATS MEOWING)
52
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,191
What are you waiting for?
53
00:02:48,192 --> 00:02:49,591
I...
54
00:02:50,494 --> 00:02:51,693
Uh...
55
00:02:54,432 --> 00:02:57,133
Soap, soap, soap!
56
00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:58,435
WOMAN: You want some breakfast?
57
00:02:58,436 --> 00:03:00,036
No, I've gotta get to the library.
58
00:03:00,037 --> 00:03:01,805
(CHUCKLING) Library?
59
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,873
- But you hate reading,
- Is that his car?
60
00:03:03,874 --> 00:03:06,442
Jeff, what about my "Wheel"? You
promised you'd fix the dish.
61
00:03:12,416 --> 00:03:15,617
Oh, God, what is that smell?
62
00:03:17,722 --> 00:03:19,923
Just... come on!
63
00:03:19,924 --> 00:03:21,123
Damn it.
64
00:03:24,028 --> 00:03:25,161
(HORN HONKING)
65
00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:28,231
Yo, dude! Jeff! Let's get a move on.
66
00:03:28,232 --> 00:03:29,733
- Jeff!
- MAN: Jeff!
67
00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:30,767
I am not...
68
00:03:30,768 --> 00:03:32,736
Never mind, just pl... go.
Go away, please.
69
00:03:32,737 --> 00:03:34,337
Hop in. We're gonna be late for work.
70
00:03:34,338 --> 00:03:35,338
I'm not going to your work.
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00:03:35,339 --> 00:03:37,574
Ooh, playing hooky.
72
00:03:37,575 --> 00:03:39,542
You gonna get in so much trouble.
73
00:03:39,543 --> 00:03:41,011
MAN: Just call in sick.
It's what I do.
74
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,113
Who's gonna know?
75
00:03:43,114 --> 00:03:45,081
Well, technically, I'm the assistant
manager, so I'm supposed to report it.
76
00:03:45,082 --> 00:03:46,683
Dennis, please, I was talking.
77
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:49,818
- Where you need to go, Jeff?
- Yeah, we'll drive you.
78
00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:55,625
Yes, fine. Take me to
St. John's Bridge.
79
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,360
- DENNIS: St. John's.
- Why, thinking of jumping off?
80
00:03:57,361 --> 00:04:01,331
- (LAUGHING)
- Not a bad idea right now.
81
00:04:01,332 --> 00:04:03,165
WOMAN: Want a Ring Pop?
82
00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:07,303
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
83
00:04:07,304 --> 00:04:11,741
Stop! Stop! Let me out of here.
84
00:04:11,742 --> 00:04:13,643
Okay, well, we still on for later?
85
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,545
- No.
- Cool. See you then.
86
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,147
- Bye, Jeff.
- DENNIS: Feel better.
87
00:04:17,148 --> 00:04:19,949
He's not sick, Dennis! God!
88
00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:21,450
WOMAN: Pump it!
89
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:31,226
You, sir, are one sexy stud muffin.
90
00:04:34,165 --> 00:04:36,498
Oh, wow.
91
00:04:40,237 --> 00:04:42,405
Mm, thank you, book.
92
00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,173
Thank you. (KISSING)
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00:04:54,985 --> 00:04:56,286
Oh, hey! All right.
94
00:04:56,287 --> 00:04:58,688
The Librarians.
How was your adventure?
95
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,256
Good. Went really well.
No thanks to you!
96
00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:01,825
You set the door to a port-o-potty
97
00:05:01,826 --> 00:05:03,860
two feet from the Tar Pits.
We fell right in.
98
00:05:03,861 --> 00:05:05,428
Uh, this stuff is really like sand.
99
00:05:05,429 --> 00:05:07,363
It gets everywhere,
and I mean everywhere!
100
00:05:07,364 --> 00:05:10,166
What's going on with you, Jenkins?
You never make mistakes like that.
101
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,102
Must've just had a senior moment.
102
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,636
But, hey, at least the
mission went well, right?
103
00:05:17,341 --> 00:05:19,576
Uh, is that the artifact?
104
00:05:19,577 --> 00:05:21,478
The Osiris Stone...
105
00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:23,513
it's able to bring the
dead back to life.
106
00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,148
That is so rad. Can I touch it?
107
00:05:25,149 --> 00:05:26,483
Sure.
108
00:05:26,484 --> 00:05:29,452
Awesome. Wow.
109
00:05:29,453 --> 00:05:30,954
You feeling all right, Jenkins?
110
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,356
What? Uh, yeah.
111
00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:34,457
Yeah, no, never better.
112
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,526
Yeah, just feeling like myself,
113
00:05:36,527 --> 00:05:37,727
you know, Jenkins.
114
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,929
Jenkins being Jenkins. (CHUCKLING)
115
00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:41,364
- (ALARM BLARING)
- Aah! What the hell?
116
00:05:41,365 --> 00:05:42,699
Perimeter alarm.
117
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,933
Someone's trying to
get into the library.
118
00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:48,938
Who is that?
119
00:05:48,939 --> 00:05:51,808
VOICE: Fingerprint not recognized.
120
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:54,244
- Damn it.
- Voice pattern not recognized.
121
00:05:54,245 --> 00:05:56,211
Oh, just... shut up.
122
00:05:58,182 --> 00:05:59,581
Ah.
123
00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:04,187
Colonel? Colonel, it's me.
It's Jenkins!
124
00:06:04,188 --> 00:06:05,255
BAIRD: What's he doing?
125
00:06:05,256 --> 00:06:06,689
I mean, he's clearly insane.
126
00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:08,424
You gotta feel sorry
for him, don't ya?
127
00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:10,226
Looks like a sad sack.
128
00:06:10,227 --> 00:06:14,264
I don't know. I feel like there's
kind of a rugged handsomeness to him.
129
00:06:14,265 --> 00:06:15,964
How...
130
00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:18,934
Ah.
131
00:06:21,238 --> 00:06:23,105
- Sorry. Need this.
- Hey!
132
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,108
Jenkins.
133
00:06:27,545 --> 00:06:29,778
Oh, look. He's writing something.
134
00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:33,416
- Hey! Whoa!
- What are you doing?
135
00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:35,051
Jeez! Butterfingers, right?
136
00:06:35,052 --> 00:06:37,420
Well, we're done with this guy anyway.
137
00:06:37,421 --> 00:06:39,923
Look, you've seen one homeless guy
on bath salts, you've seen them all.
138
00:06:39,924 --> 00:06:42,859
Now, tell me all about that mission.
139
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,228
Can you see it?
140
00:06:45,229 --> 00:06:46,296
I'm Jenkins!
141
00:06:46,297 --> 00:06:48,196
I am...
142
00:06:52,169 --> 00:06:53,935
They don't know it's me.
143
00:06:56,489 --> 00:06:59,258
Jeff, where have you been?
144
00:06:59,259 --> 00:07:01,727
I just walked from St. John's Bridge.
145
00:07:01,728 --> 00:07:03,829
Well, Lord, that's
over five miles away.
146
00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:05,464
Actually eleven.
147
00:07:05,465 --> 00:07:07,166
Well, now that you're back,
148
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,201
the toilet's been acting fussy again,
149
00:07:09,202 --> 00:07:11,937
and I had to miss both
"Wheel" and "Steve Harvey."
150
00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:14,640
Oh, and guess what? We ran
out of Werther's Originals.
151
00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:16,008
Wait a minute. Where are you going?
152
00:07:16,009 --> 00:07:18,143
I'm going to search his room,
153
00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:20,512
try to figure out why...
how this happened.
154
00:07:20,513 --> 00:07:21,981
- Whose room?
- Uh, just...
155
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:23,849
Wait, what about my
Werther's Originals, Jeff?
156
00:07:23,850 --> 00:07:27,653
Good grief, woman, don't you
have some wretched husband
157
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:28,854
you can order about?
158
00:07:28,855 --> 00:07:31,223
How could you say something like that?
159
00:07:31,224 --> 00:07:32,791
Do you think it's been easy for me
160
00:07:32,792 --> 00:07:34,460
living without your father?
161
00:07:34,461 --> 00:07:38,296
His cancer just about destroyed me.
162
00:07:41,201 --> 00:07:42,301
I'm sorry.
163
00:07:42,302 --> 00:07:45,002
I miss him so much.
164
00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:47,405
Right.
165
00:07:48,475 --> 00:07:51,110
Excuse me.
166
00:07:51,111 --> 00:07:54,079
MAN: Read it.
People just inform themselves.
167
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,381
- MAN 2: You're a dork.
- Actually, you're a dork.
168
00:07:55,382 --> 00:07:56,615
- Hey, Jeff!
- Hey, Jeff.
169
00:07:56,616 --> 00:07:57,916
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff!
170
00:07:57,917 --> 00:07:59,651
You ready to play? We said after work.
171
00:07:59,652 --> 00:08:01,320
I got Ring Pops.
172
00:08:01,321 --> 00:08:02,554
Leave me alone, please.
173
00:08:02,555 --> 00:08:03,689
- What about the game?
- Yeah.
174
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,424
So last we left off,
175
00:08:05,425 --> 00:08:08,093
we were about to enter the
catacombs of the demon king
176
00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:10,129
to find the golden treasure.
177
00:08:10,130 --> 00:08:12,364
Jeff, D&D, we're waiting.
178
00:08:12,365 --> 00:08:14,800
Excuse me, please. For the
last time, leave me be.
179
00:08:14,801 --> 00:08:16,568
I do not want to play
your stupid game.
180
00:08:16,569 --> 00:08:18,303
(IMITATES CAT SNARL)
181
00:08:18,304 --> 00:08:20,204
Well, Jenkins is out.
182
00:08:21,274 --> 00:08:23,575
Guess it's just you
and me, Jacob Stone.
183
00:08:23,576 --> 00:08:25,544
Quite right, Cassandra Cillian.
184
00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:28,680
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
you know about the Librarians?
185
00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:31,283
God, what is wrong with you?
He is seriously mental today.
186
00:08:31,284 --> 00:08:32,785
WOMAN: They're our D&D characters.
187
00:08:32,786 --> 00:08:34,820
We got Cassandra the Sorceress,
188
00:08:34,821 --> 00:08:35,988
Stone the Ranger.
189
00:08:35,989 --> 00:08:37,423
Baird the Warrior Princess.
190
00:08:37,424 --> 00:08:39,191
Flynn the Wise Sage.
191
00:08:39,192 --> 00:08:40,225
And Mr. Jones?
192
00:08:40,226 --> 00:08:42,361
MAN: Ezekiel the Cunning Thief.
193
00:08:42,362 --> 00:08:45,197
Sadly, he got eaten
by a tenth-level orc
194
00:08:45,198 --> 00:08:46,131
a few weeks ago.
195
00:08:46,132 --> 00:08:47,566
How do you know about them?
196
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:48,834
Dude, because of you.
197
00:08:48,835 --> 00:08:50,102
You're, like, obsessed with them.
198
00:08:50,103 --> 00:08:51,669
Did you forget your shrine?
199
00:08:54,474 --> 00:08:56,240
What?
200
00:08:59,245 --> 00:09:00,979
MAN: You know, I'm still on the fence
201
00:09:00,980 --> 00:09:02,848
about whether they're real or not.
202
00:09:02,849 --> 00:09:04,450
WOMAN: Librarians? Of course they are.
203
00:09:04,451 --> 00:09:06,418
What about all those DOSA
files that Wikileaks dumped?
204
00:09:06,419 --> 00:09:08,220
DENNIS: Oh, or those
articles by what's-her-name,
205
00:09:08,221 --> 00:09:09,288
the reporter.
206
00:09:09,289 --> 00:09:10,656
- MAN: Sarina Bhonsle.
- DENNIS: Yes.
207
00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:11,723
- She retracted them.
- What?
208
00:09:11,724 --> 00:09:12,858
She took them all back.
209
00:09:12,859 --> 00:09:14,193
WOMAN: Or she was forced to.
210
00:09:14,194 --> 00:09:15,994
(SING-SONG) Conspiracy.
211
00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:17,763
- MAN: You had me at conspiracy.
- Oh, my God.
212
00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:20,766
I'm, uh... (CHUCKLES)
213
00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:22,734
really obsessed with Jenkins, huh?
214
00:09:22,735 --> 00:09:24,336
Big time.
215
00:09:24,337 --> 00:09:26,939
You said Jenkins is like an
immortal knight of Camelot.
216
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,041
- Percival, I think.
- No, Lancelot.
217
00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:30,576
- Galahad.
- MAN: Galahad!
218
00:09:30,577 --> 00:09:33,378
Who would want to be Galahad?
Arthur is way cooler.
219
00:09:33,379 --> 00:09:38,416
(MUTTERING) So he switched
bodies with me on purpose.
220
00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:42,154
The enemy is at the castle gates.
221
00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:45,056
- (GROWLING)
- To battle!
222
00:09:46,392 --> 00:09:49,160
(BARKING)
223
00:09:51,197 --> 00:09:53,665
Your skills are impressive,
Black Knight.
224
00:09:53,666 --> 00:09:55,499
Can you handle this?
225
00:09:57,504 --> 00:09:59,371
- (YELPS, WHIMPERS)
- I meant to do that.
226
00:09:59,372 --> 00:10:00,572
Yeah, you know, I meant to do that.
227
00:10:00,573 --> 00:10:04,676
(BARKING)
228
00:10:04,677 --> 00:10:06,845
Hey, Cassandra.
229
00:10:06,846 --> 00:10:09,014
Sassy Cassie.
230
00:10:09,015 --> 00:10:10,215
How you doing?
231
00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:11,216
I'm good.
232
00:10:11,217 --> 00:10:13,619
Uh, I guess I just...
Jenkins, I need to...
233
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:14,820
Ah, ah, ah, whoa, hey.
234
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:16,254
Hold that thought.
235
00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:19,056
Water...
236
00:10:20,393 --> 00:10:21,525
into wine.
237
00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,831
Ha! How sick is that, right?
238
00:10:25,832 --> 00:10:27,933
You want a pull?
239
00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:30,067
- No, I'm good.
- Cool. More for me.
240
00:10:31,604 --> 00:10:34,273
Ah, so... what's up?
241
00:10:34,274 --> 00:10:38,110
I mean, to what do I owe this
splendiferous pleasure, Miss Cillian?
242
00:10:38,111 --> 00:10:41,146
Um, I... I found this
book in the Annex,
243
00:10:41,147 --> 00:10:42,915
and I've never seen it before,
244
00:10:42,916 --> 00:10:44,082
and I can't find a file on it.
245
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:45,384
Oh, yeah, no, that's, um...
246
00:10:45,385 --> 00:10:46,852
that's 'cause it's a new acquisition.
247
00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:48,620
Yeah, from the s...
248
00:10:48,621 --> 00:10:50,455
(MUMBLES) ...department.
249
00:10:50,456 --> 00:10:52,424
- Oh.
- I was just about to file it away,
250
00:10:52,425 --> 00:10:55,826
so don't you worry your pretty
little red head about it.
251
00:10:57,664 --> 00:10:59,331
Okay. Great.
252
00:10:59,332 --> 00:11:00,532
Hey, um...
253
00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:02,568
I was just thinking,
254
00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:03,835
if you weren't busy later,
255
00:11:03,836 --> 00:11:05,103
you and me could go out
256
00:11:05,104 --> 00:11:07,539
and double straw a margarita,
257
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,208
maybe talk about magic,
258
00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:12,878
maybe... make some magic.
259
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,179
Excuse me?
260
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,647
What? No, nothing.
261
00:11:15,648 --> 00:11:16,782
- No.
- No, no, I just...
262
00:11:16,783 --> 00:11:17,783
- Yeah.
- Just kidding.
263
00:11:17,784 --> 00:11:19,251
(CHUCKLES) Right.
264
00:11:19,252 --> 00:11:21,987
- Yeah...
- Uh, I am going to put this puppy back
265
00:11:21,988 --> 00:11:23,622
and, yeah, good talk.
266
00:11:23,623 --> 00:11:25,390
Great. Okay.
267
00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:28,826
- Yeah, Stoner, my man.
- (SMACKS BUTT)
268
00:11:30,263 --> 00:11:31,964
Do you think... Do... Do you think
269
00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:34,800
there's something off about Jenkins?
270
00:11:34,801 --> 00:11:35,834
- 'Cause...
- Maybe.
271
00:11:35,835 --> 00:11:36,935
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
272
00:11:36,936 --> 00:11:38,237
- Mm-hmm.
- He did ask me earlier
273
00:11:38,238 --> 00:11:39,838
if Baird was seeing anyone.
274
00:11:39,839 --> 00:11:41,540
- Oh.
- I just figured it was a...
275
00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:44,176
like a byproduct of him
dealing with mortality
276
00:11:44,177 --> 00:11:47,746
or a delayed, delayed mid-life crisis.
277
00:11:47,747 --> 00:11:49,047
Right.
278
00:11:49,048 --> 00:11:51,883
Hiding place, hiding place.
279
00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:54,753
Oh. Oh.
280
00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:56,588
Ugh.
281
00:11:56,589 --> 00:11:58,489
Gross.
282
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,030
Rats... skitter, skitter.
283
00:12:05,031 --> 00:12:06,431
Bats... flying, flying, flying.
284
00:12:06,432 --> 00:12:08,967
You make your way down
the castle catacombs,
285
00:12:08,968 --> 00:12:10,969
slime oozing down the walls.
286
00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,671
Suddenly you come
across a wooden door.
287
00:12:12,672 --> 00:12:14,039
What do you do?
288
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,374
- We open the door.
- This is ridiculous.
289
00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:17,576
It creaks open... Cree-eak...
290
00:12:17,577 --> 00:12:20,279
revealing a glistening
mound of treasure.
291
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,080
But it is being guarded
292
00:12:22,081 --> 00:12:24,816
by a great ten-foot tall cave troll.
293
00:12:24,817 --> 00:12:26,785
Have I been acting odd lately?
294
00:12:26,786 --> 00:12:29,054
- Have I come into contact with anything?
- The cave troll
295
00:12:29,055 --> 00:12:30,856
opens its great mouth,
296
00:12:30,857 --> 00:12:32,824
blood dripping from its fangs.
297
00:12:32,825 --> 00:12:33,992
(SLURPS) What do you do?
298
00:12:33,993 --> 00:12:35,327
(TOGETHER) Attack!
299
00:12:35,328 --> 00:12:37,528
- Roll for initiative.
- Ooh, yeah.
300
00:12:38,998 --> 00:12:41,632
Roll for initiative.
301
00:12:42,602 --> 00:12:44,201
(SIGHS)
302
00:12:47,373 --> 00:12:49,241
Ha! Cassandra the
Sorceress goes first.
303
00:12:49,242 --> 00:12:51,510
I cast fireball at the troll.
304
00:12:51,511 --> 00:12:53,645
Oh, completely ineffective.
Does not work at all.
305
00:12:53,646 --> 00:12:55,447
- What?
- What? She just rolled at 19.
306
00:12:55,448 --> 00:12:58,684
The cave troll is wearing
a fire resistance ring,
307
00:12:58,685 --> 00:13:00,218
so it's immune to fireballs.
308
00:13:00,219 --> 00:13:01,286
Dude, always the fire rings.
It's the third campaign...
309
00:13:01,287 --> 00:13:02,587
(OVERLAPPING ARGUING)
310
00:13:02,588 --> 00:13:04,523
Who makes up this... Listen to me.
311
00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:07,259
First of all, do you realize
how full this game is
312
00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:09,594
of just inaccuracies
and misinformation?
313
00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:12,964
Um, my fifth edition Monster
Manual begs to differ.
314
00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:15,400
Yes, that is not...
315
00:13:15,401 --> 00:13:17,369
First, no self-respecting castle
316
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:18,804
will hide its treasure
317
00:13:18,805 --> 00:13:20,105
behind an unlocked wooden door.
318
00:13:20,106 --> 00:13:21,373
That's just amateur hour.
319
00:13:21,374 --> 00:13:23,041
And anybody that's anybody
320
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:25,110
knows that cave trolls
don't have fangs.
321
00:13:25,111 --> 00:13:28,313
They have tusks.
Oh, and a fireball spell?
322
00:13:28,314 --> 00:13:31,149
Do you realize how long it
takes to conjure one of those?
323
00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:35,721
Days. A paralysis spell works in half
the time and is just as effective.
324
00:13:35,722 --> 00:13:37,789
People, if we're gonna do it,
let's do it right.
325
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,658
I think he needs to be
the Dungeon Master.
326
00:13:39,659 --> 00:13:42,094
No! Not this again.
I'm the Dungeon Master!
327
00:13:42,095 --> 00:13:43,795
Dude, that was incredible.
He had the paralysis...
328
00:13:43,796 --> 00:13:45,197
Listen. Wait, wait.
329
00:13:45,198 --> 00:13:46,765
Is this what you do with your days,
330
00:13:46,766 --> 00:13:48,333
just sit in this cellar
and play this game?
331
00:13:48,334 --> 00:13:51,303
What is wrong with you?
332
00:13:51,304 --> 00:13:53,672
Dude, you've been acting
like a total psycho.
333
00:13:53,673 --> 00:13:57,275
- Yeah, ever since you found that book.
- I...
334
00:13:57,276 --> 00:13:58,777
Book? What book?
335
00:13:58,778 --> 00:14:00,846
Seriously, do you not
remember a single thing?
336
00:14:00,847 --> 00:14:02,080
Did you get hit in the head?
337
00:14:02,081 --> 00:14:03,482
Yeah, really hard. What book?
338
00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:05,450
The one you got online
from the rare bookshop
339
00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,119
that was being liquidated.
340
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,787
You wouldn't stop talking about it.
341
00:14:08,788 --> 00:14:11,022
You kept on saying how it would
make a kick-ass monster manual.
342
00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:13,625
It looked a little bit strange to
be a monster manual, if you ask me.
343
00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:15,127
Wait, wait, what did it look like?
344
00:14:15,128 --> 00:14:17,195
- I can probably look it up.
- What?
345
00:14:17,196 --> 00:14:20,397
One second. Ah!
346
00:14:24,270 --> 00:14:26,371
That's no monster manual.
347
00:14:26,372 --> 00:14:28,774
That's the Asmodeus Grimoire.
348
00:14:28,775 --> 00:14:30,841
It's the most dangerous
book in the world.
349
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,544
Asmodeus Grimoire?
350
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,313
Jeff, what are you talking about?
351
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:42,248
He bought the book. He
didn't know what it was.
352
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,616
Then he found out what it was,
353
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:45,518
and he used it to
exchange places with me,
354
00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:47,420
not understanding the consequences.
355
00:14:47,421 --> 00:14:48,721
Jeff, you're scaring me.
356
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,323
I've gotta break into the Library,
357
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,891
find the book if he still has...
358
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:54,293
how do I break into the Library?
359
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,863
Oh. Secret entrances.
360
00:14:56,864 --> 00:14:58,197
I can't do that without help.
361
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,531
I've got to...
362
00:15:02,703 --> 00:15:03,936
Get up. Let's go.
363
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,238
- What?
- Let's go.
364
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,439
Up. Out. Mush.
365
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,740
- Where are we going?
- Just go.
366
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,609
- What about the game?
- Don't worry about it.
367
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,777
I promised my wife I was gonna
stop at the Bed, Bath, & Beyond.
368
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:14,146
Yes, yes. I don't know what that
is, but it's gonna have to wait.
369
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,282
Come on. Go. Go. Get in the car.
370
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,217
Jeff, please.
371
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,585
I'm not going another step further
372
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,187
until you tell us what's going on.
373
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,722
Yeah! And what about the game?
374
00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:27,626
Okay, this is going to sound
ludicrous to you, but...
375
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:31,130
I'm not your friend Jeff.
376
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,332
I am in reality Jenkins,
377
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,568
also known as Galahad,
Knight of Camelot,
378
00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:37,937
and Caretaker to the magical Library,
379
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,572
which happens to be real.
380
00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,007
The book that your friend bought
381
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,009
was not a toy, nor a fake.
382
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,777
It was an authentic spellbook
383
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:49,215
which he used to
exchange bodies with me,
384
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,750
apparently because he
was obsessed with me,
385
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:54,253
but when he did so,
he also unknowingly
386
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:58,391
released very powerful evil forces
387
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:01,127
that could wreak havoc,
388
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:04,529
and we must stop it
before it's too late.
389
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,400
- Okay.
- Makes sense.
390
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,535
- Totally.
- That's it?
391
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,438
No... "That's the craziest
thing we've ever heard, dude"?
392
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,273
Yeah. No, we figured something
like this was going on.
393
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,908
Yeah, it's just like that D&D module,
394
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,877
"The Sinister Body
Snatchers of Boldovia."
395
00:16:17,878 --> 00:16:19,678
When do we start?
396
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:23,849
Uh, now. Let's start now.
397
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,485
Front entrance to the
Library is impenetrable,
398
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,388
protected by an elaborate
security system.
399
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,957
There is, however, a back door,
400
00:16:30,958 --> 00:16:32,558
but to gain access to it,
401
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,027
one must first pass through a series
402
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,262
of booby-trapped chambers,
403
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,497
each more deadly than the last.
404
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,166
If you know so much about it,
405
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,534
why can't you just waltz in?
406
00:16:41,535 --> 00:16:43,436
Yeah, why do you need us?
407
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,937
Because the chambers were designed
408
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,272
to prevent a single individual
409
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,340
from gaining access.
410
00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:48,341
It takes teamwork.
411
00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:49,675
(CLEARS THROAT)
412
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,177
But you know about the
booby traps, right?
413
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,945
You can get us past the booby traps.
414
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:56,048
No, the chambers are
constantly self-reconfiguring,
415
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,584
the puzzles inside, chosen
by the Library itself.
416
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,386
I have no idea what we'll face.
417
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,922
- Wow.
- All of you must help me
418
00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:04,256
get to the back door.
419
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,458
In order to do this,
420
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,659
you must be trained
421
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,127
in the way of the Librarians.
422
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,363
You must become greater
than yourselves.
423
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,565
You're going to turn
us into Librarians?
424
00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:14,900
No, that would take a miracle.
425
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,135
Let's begin.
426
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:19,070
(GRUNTING)
427
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:25,845
A Librarian must make
friends with danger,
428
00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:28,180
must learn to fight with his, or her,
429
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,749
body and mind.
430
00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:43,763
A Librarian is more than a person.
431
00:17:43,764 --> 00:17:47,033
A Librarian is a shining beacon,
432
00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:51,437
reminding us of the best
humanity has to offer.
433
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,639
Everything hurts.
434
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,242
Why did you make us do that?
435
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,477
- That was grueling.
- Hmm.
436
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,379
What are you doing over there?
437
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,947
Yeah, come on. Join us.
438
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:05,351
Have some of my famous
home-brewed mead.
439
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:08,220
It's cheap wine mixed
with Shasta cola.
440
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,922
- Ignore her.
- It's so good.
441
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,090
You'll love it.
442
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,259
It's been a very long time
443
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,694
since I partook in spirits. Hmm?
444
00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:19,230
Good stuff, huh?
445
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,470
No, not at all.
446
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:27,106
(LAUGHING)
447
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:31,911
So are you honestly gonna sit there
and not tell us about Camelot?
448
00:18:31,912 --> 00:18:34,714
We're D&D nerds. Spill.
449
00:18:34,715 --> 00:18:37,016
Come on, what was Arthur like?
450
00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:38,217
Bossy.
451
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,720
A bit vain, but a good king.
452
00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:43,289
Was Merlin as cool as we think he is?
453
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,558
- Cooler than you can imagine.
- Aww!
454
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,860
To be a Knight of the Round Table.
455
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,829
I bet it was a lot like this, right?
456
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:53,199
Just sitting around, drinking mead,
457
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,767
telling tales of glory.
458
00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:58,237
Well, I don't know so much about that.
459
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,272
I stayed to myself a lot.
460
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,640
But you're Galahad,
461
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,275
the finder of the Holy Grail,
462
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,543
nicknamed the "Perfect Knight."
463
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,113
But also the illegitimate
son of Lancelot,
464
00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,714
not of true noble birth.
465
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,282
I always felt different
than the others,
466
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,884
even after joining the Library.
467
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:15,721
I'm neither Librarian nor Guardian.
468
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,223
It's...
469
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:20,426
sort of on the outside looking in.
470
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,995
I know what you're talking about.
471
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,296
I grew up an Army brat,
472
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,966
so we moved eight times in 12 years.
473
00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:30,936
I never lived a single place
long enough to call home.
474
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,539
You had it lucky.
I would've killed to move.
475
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,740
Beats sticking around, being picked on
476
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,375
by all the beautiful people.
477
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,878
Try dealing with a
family of overachievers.
478
00:19:38,879 --> 00:19:41,380
Do you know what it was
like during Thanksgiving?
479
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,848
I was invisible.
480
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:46,152
To the outcasts.
481
00:19:46,153 --> 00:19:48,854
Long may they reign.
482
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,255
Huzzah.
483
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,226
I will never drink
wine and Shasta again,
484
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,361
that's for sure.
485
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,096
Do you guys think this is too much?
486
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:58,268
Maybe I should go
home and change Ag...
487
00:19:58,292 --> 00:20:00,166
No, stop it.
You've already changed twice.
488
00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,734
No, no, no, no, honey.
We shouldn't be late.
489
00:20:01,735 --> 00:20:02,968
I'm just gonna break into
the Magical Castle and...
490
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,437
Hang up!
491
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,872
We need to focus.
492
00:20:16,183 --> 00:20:20,319
Come. We have to enter here to gain
access to the underground chambers.
493
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,720
Where? The tree?
494
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,359
Run directly into it.
495
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,694
It will transport you there.
496
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,129
It's an invisible door,
497
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:32,231
just like the train
station in Harry Potter.
498
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,866
Love it. (GROWLS)
499
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,701
- Now that...
- Uh!
500
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,703
Aurora, are you okay?
501
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:41,006
Please tell me one of you
guys got a picture of that.
502
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,174
That was awesome!
503
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:46,478
The entrance is here.
504
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,347
Get behind me.
505
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:49,914
Follow me in.
506
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,720
Now that was awesome.
507
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:58,690
- Whoo! Yeah!
- Oh, my God!
508
00:21:02,863 --> 00:21:05,730
The door down there will take
us to the second chamber.
509
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:14,173
Tell me that did not just
come up out of the floor.
510
00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:19,144
Interlocking pieces,
like part of a jigsaw puzzle.
511
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:21,847
So if we solve it, then we can cross.
Awesome.
512
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,649
Oh, well, I know puzzles
'cause I do them
513
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,884
- with my kids all the time.
- Wait! Don't...
514
00:21:24,885 --> 00:21:27,753
(RUMBLING)
515
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,521
What was that? What was that?
What was that?
516
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:32,224
You set off one of the booby traps.
517
00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:33,926
- Sorry.
- Each wrong move
518
00:21:33,927 --> 00:21:36,629
makes the chamber
collapse a little more.
519
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,162
What are we gonna do now?
520
00:21:40,970 --> 00:21:45,339
(HUMMING "POP GOES THE WEASEL")
521
00:21:46,976 --> 00:21:48,977
- (SCREAMING)
- (BOX SHRIEKING)
522
00:21:48,978 --> 00:21:50,312
(LAUGHS)
523
00:21:50,313 --> 00:21:53,315
- Awesome.
- Hello, Jenkins.
524
00:21:53,316 --> 00:21:58,687
Oh, well, if it isn't my favorite
math whiz/ synesthete/tumor survivor.
525
00:21:58,688 --> 00:22:00,389
What's happenin', Red?
526
00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:03,559
I just found this scroll I need
translated for an upcoming mission.
527
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,261
I couldn't find Stone, so I
thought maybe you could help me.
528
00:22:06,262 --> 00:22:09,098
You w... you want me
to Tran... translate?
529
00:22:09,099 --> 00:22:11,967
Yeah. It's just a mix of Sumerian
530
00:22:11,968 --> 00:22:14,770
and seventh-century archaic Latin.
531
00:22:14,771 --> 00:22:17,506
Should be a breeze for you.
After all, you are Jenkins.
532
00:22:17,507 --> 00:22:18,874
Yeah. Uh-huh, yeah.
533
00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:21,810
Uh-huh, what... Did you...
Did you hear that?
534
00:22:21,811 --> 00:22:23,245
Did you hear someone calling for me?
535
00:22:23,246 --> 00:22:24,947
I think I heard...
Yeah, I'll be right there!
536
00:22:24,948 --> 00:22:27,249
Translate the scroll, Jenkins.
537
00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:29,818
Oh, sure. Yeah, not a problem.
Not a problem.
538
00:22:29,819 --> 00:22:31,320
(CLEARS THROAT)
539
00:22:31,321 --> 00:22:32,855
(GROANS) Boy, they...
540
00:22:32,856 --> 00:22:35,324
sure make the font small
on these things, huh?
541
00:22:35,325 --> 00:22:37,025
Okay. Um,
542
00:22:37,026 --> 00:22:41,897
inter-way... is-yay... oming-cay.
543
00:22:41,898 --> 00:22:43,699
- Pig Latin.
- I knew it.
544
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,401
- I knew you were a fake.
- What did you do with Jenkins?
545
00:22:45,402 --> 00:22:46,468
Oh, please don't hurt me.
546
00:22:46,469 --> 00:22:48,303
Tell us or we feed you to Nessie.
547
00:22:48,304 --> 00:22:51,707
No, please. Wait, the
Loch Ness Monster's here?
548
00:22:51,708 --> 00:22:54,209
- Start talking.
- Okay, all right.
549
00:22:54,210 --> 00:22:56,044
Um, um, uh-uh...
550
00:22:56,045 --> 00:22:58,013
Okay, my name is Jeff Peppers.
551
00:22:58,014 --> 00:23:00,015
I'm a 28-year-old tech
from Circuit Town.
552
00:23:00,016 --> 00:23:01,617
I found a book with magic in it,
553
00:23:01,618 --> 00:23:03,051
and I used it to swap
places with Jenkins.
554
00:23:03,052 --> 00:23:04,787
That's the book I was
telling you about.
555
00:23:04,788 --> 00:23:06,221
I didn't mean to hurt anybody.
556
00:23:06,222 --> 00:23:07,723
I just wanted to...
557
00:23:07,724 --> 00:23:09,291
rent him for a little while.
558
00:23:09,292 --> 00:23:10,993
You know, honestly,
I'm a really good guy.
559
00:23:10,994 --> 00:23:12,861
If you guys ever find
yourself out by Circuit Town,
560
00:23:12,862 --> 00:23:14,229
pop on in. I'll give you a discount.
561
00:23:14,230 --> 00:23:16,298
Well, on anything other
than Apple products
562
00:23:16,299 --> 00:23:17,833
'cause, you know, they don't really
give me that kind of pull...
563
00:23:17,834 --> 00:23:20,335
Where's this book?
564
00:23:20,336 --> 00:23:21,737
It's just over here.
565
00:23:21,738 --> 00:23:23,639
I hid it underneath one
of your end tables,
566
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,274
which are beautiful, by the way.
567
00:23:25,275 --> 00:23:26,708
Just show us the book.
568
00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:30,144
Yeah, no, there it is.
See? No harm, no foul.
569
00:23:32,715 --> 00:23:36,617
What is that? Are those hoof prints?
570
00:23:43,092 --> 00:23:46,027
(ROARING)
571
00:23:47,096 --> 00:23:49,131
AURORA: We've been
staring at this forever.
572
00:23:49,132 --> 00:23:50,933
There has to be a way
to figure this out.
573
00:23:50,934 --> 00:23:53,601
- Well...
- I know this.
574
00:23:54,804 --> 00:23:56,805
- Uh...
- Schmidt, what are you doing?
575
00:23:56,806 --> 00:23:58,073
Yeah, man, don't play around.
576
00:23:58,074 --> 00:24:01,276
Twenty pieces, each a triangle.
577
00:24:01,277 --> 00:24:04,813
Twenty pieces. Twenty triangles.
578
00:24:04,814 --> 00:24:06,615
Mr. Schmidt, we cannot
afford any mistakes.
579
00:24:06,616 --> 00:24:09,283
Trust me, guys. I got this.
580
00:24:26,369 --> 00:24:29,171
It's an icosahedron.
How did you know that?
581
00:24:29,172 --> 00:24:33,108
It's the one shape every D&D
player in the world knows.
582
00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:36,478
20-sided die.
Roll for initiative, bitches.
583
00:24:36,479 --> 00:24:38,881
- That was awesome!
- Dragon's fire, bro!
584
00:24:38,882 --> 00:24:41,115
Dungeon Master, bro!
585
00:24:42,785 --> 00:24:44,919
Mr. Schmidt.
586
00:24:47,257 --> 00:24:49,625
Now, we have to turn these dials
587
00:24:49,626 --> 00:24:52,226
exactly at the same time.
588
00:24:53,196 --> 00:24:56,697
One, two, three.
589
00:25:15,051 --> 00:25:16,685
This one looks fun.
590
00:25:16,686 --> 00:25:19,254
- (SCREAMS)
- Oh, God! What is that?
591
00:25:19,255 --> 00:25:22,524
Stop, stop, stop. Just stop.
592
00:25:22,525 --> 00:25:23,992
Past intruders in the Library.
593
00:25:23,993 --> 00:25:25,961
Many have tried. None have succeeded.
594
00:25:25,962 --> 00:25:27,502
Let's get out of this chamber quick.
595
00:25:29,999 --> 00:25:34,436
Would you please stop
setting off booby traps?
596
00:25:34,437 --> 00:25:38,173
What is wrong with you? Have you
not seen "Indy 3: Last Crusade"?
597
00:25:38,174 --> 00:25:39,841
Oh, is that the one with Shia LaBeouf?
598
00:25:39,842 --> 00:25:41,276
SCHMIDT: No, Dennis!
599
00:25:41,277 --> 00:25:44,346
- Gimme that boom.
- Excuse me?
600
00:25:44,347 --> 00:25:47,182
The tiles. It's just like
"Dance Dance Revolution."
601
00:25:47,183 --> 00:25:49,885
- What?
- It's this stupid dancing game
602
00:25:49,886 --> 00:25:52,387
where you step on glowing tiles
603
00:25:52,388 --> 00:25:54,122
that match a pattern.
604
00:25:54,123 --> 00:25:56,258
These tiles are glowing
in a repeating pattern,
605
00:25:56,259 --> 00:25:58,126
just like the song, "Gimme That Boom."
606
00:25:58,127 --> 00:25:59,127
Watch.
607
00:25:59,128 --> 00:26:03,832
(MUSIC PLAYING)
608
00:26:03,833 --> 00:26:06,368
♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪
609
00:26:06,369 --> 00:26:08,670
♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom
610
00:26:08,671 --> 00:26:11,907
Holy roly poly, it's working.
611
00:26:11,908 --> 00:26:14,109
Come on.
612
00:26:14,110 --> 00:26:16,812
♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪
613
00:26:16,813 --> 00:26:19,681
♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪
614
00:26:19,682 --> 00:26:22,017
♪ Bang it with the bottom,
gonna make ya move ♪
615
00:26:22,018 --> 00:26:23,251
Come on, Jenkins, dance.
616
00:26:23,252 --> 00:26:25,687
- No.
- But you'll die!
617
00:26:25,688 --> 00:26:27,255
Much preferred. Thank you.
618
00:26:27,256 --> 00:26:29,324
Jenkins, you'll never
get your body back.
619
00:26:29,325 --> 00:26:32,394
♪ Gimme that, gimme that, gimme that ♪
620
00:26:32,395 --> 00:26:35,998
♪ That, that boom, boom, boom ♪
621
00:26:35,999 --> 00:26:39,201
♪ We get dressed up,
put on the makeup ♪
622
00:26:39,202 --> 00:26:41,269
Go, Jenkins! It's your birthday!
623
00:26:41,270 --> 00:26:43,005
- Go, Jenkins!
- Come on, Jenkins!
624
00:26:43,006 --> 00:26:45,407
- (GRUNTING)
- ♪ I can't stop this... ♪
625
00:26:45,408 --> 00:26:46,608
(MUSIC STOPS)
626
00:26:46,609 --> 00:26:47,909
Way to go, Sir Jenkins.
627
00:26:47,910 --> 00:26:50,312
Well done. Well done.
628
00:26:50,313 --> 00:26:53,749
But any of you ever mention this,
629
00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:54,950
I will end you.
630
00:26:54,951 --> 00:26:57,118
- Okay.
- Understood.
631
00:27:00,289 --> 00:27:04,125
Aurora. Now, just like before.
632
00:27:07,597 --> 00:27:10,265
- Whoa.
- Where are we?
633
00:27:10,266 --> 00:27:13,001
If this is the final chamber,
then where's the door?
634
00:27:13,002 --> 00:27:15,370
Maybe we did something wrong.
635
00:27:15,371 --> 00:27:18,106
SCHMIDT: Maybe we're in a dream,
636
00:27:18,107 --> 00:27:21,109
like inside the dream of some
giant sentient creature,
637
00:27:21,110 --> 00:27:23,745
and when he wakes up, we'll wake up.
638
00:27:23,746 --> 00:27:24,946
AURORA: Or we're in limbo,
639
00:27:24,947 --> 00:27:26,348
and we got in a huge car accident
640
00:27:26,349 --> 00:27:27,883
on the way here, and we all just died.
641
00:27:27,884 --> 00:27:30,285
- Or...
- Please, please, be quiet.
642
00:27:30,286 --> 00:27:31,920
I'm trying to concentrate.
643
00:27:31,921 --> 00:27:34,122
Don't worry, Sir Jenkins.
We will find a way out of here.
644
00:27:34,123 --> 00:27:35,657
Oh, God, I don't think so.
645
00:27:35,658 --> 00:27:37,793
I don't think we can dance
our way out of this one.
646
00:27:37,794 --> 00:27:39,728
Hey, she's just trying to be positive.
647
00:27:39,729 --> 00:27:42,397
I was an idiot thinking I could
train you as Librarians.
648
00:27:42,398 --> 00:27:43,498
It's impossible!
649
00:27:43,499 --> 00:27:45,867
And now here we are. We're stuck.
650
00:27:45,868 --> 00:27:46,968
Stuck in this room.
651
00:27:46,969 --> 00:27:49,104
I am stuck in this body.
652
00:27:49,105 --> 00:27:51,440
It's no use.
653
00:27:51,441 --> 00:27:52,607
Oh, God.
654
00:27:52,608 --> 00:27:54,176
It's...
655
00:27:54,177 --> 00:27:58,879
(GROANS) Hopeless. It's hopeless.
656
00:28:05,588 --> 00:28:06,720
Mr. Jenkins.
657
00:28:09,258 --> 00:28:11,359
There's this bedtime story
I often tell my kids.
658
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:12,646
Oh, God.
659
00:28:12,647 --> 00:28:14,463
It... It's about a bunny
660
00:28:14,464 --> 00:28:16,865
that gets lost on his way
home from the dark wood,
661
00:28:16,866 --> 00:28:19,367
and he gets so scared, so frightened,
662
00:28:19,368 --> 00:28:23,171
that he wants to just curl up
in a little ball and give up.
663
00:28:23,172 --> 00:28:25,841
But then he remembers what
his mother always tells him.
664
00:28:25,842 --> 00:28:29,544
No matter how dark things look,
665
00:28:29,545 --> 00:28:32,146
just keep hopping and
you'll find your way home.
666
00:28:34,550 --> 00:28:35,749
Just keep hopping.
667
00:28:38,888 --> 00:28:40,122
Just keep...
668
00:28:40,123 --> 00:28:41,488
- (THUD)
- ...hopping.
669
00:28:46,929 --> 00:28:49,730
Just keep... hopping.
670
00:28:52,668 --> 00:28:54,269
- Yeah.
- Okay.
671
00:28:54,270 --> 00:28:58,073
Just keep... hopping!
672
00:28:58,074 --> 00:28:59,907
Hopping!
673
00:29:02,145 --> 00:29:04,880
And hopping!
674
00:29:04,881 --> 00:29:07,248
Find your way home!
675
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:11,852
AURORA: We made it.
676
00:29:17,226 --> 00:29:20,595
That last chamber was a
test of perseverance.
677
00:29:20,596 --> 00:29:23,165
Thank you, Dennis.
678
00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:26,500
And thank you all for
bringing me this far.
679
00:29:28,004 --> 00:29:31,072
But here is where we must part.
680
00:29:31,073 --> 00:29:33,308
You mean, we can't go in?
681
00:29:33,309 --> 00:29:36,411
No. The Library must stay
a magical secret place.
682
00:29:36,412 --> 00:29:37,979
It cannot be shared with the public,
683
00:29:37,980 --> 00:29:40,816
despite what your friend Jeff thinks.
684
00:29:40,817 --> 00:29:42,717
Go to his house,
685
00:29:42,718 --> 00:29:44,486
and if all turns out well,
686
00:29:44,487 --> 00:29:46,820
you'll soon have your
friend back to normal.
687
00:29:54,263 --> 00:29:55,829
May I borrow your sword?
688
00:29:57,433 --> 00:30:00,334
Would you three take a knee, please?
689
00:30:03,573 --> 00:30:06,341
In the name of the ancient gods,
690
00:30:06,342 --> 00:30:08,076
and to all the ancient kings,
691
00:30:08,077 --> 00:30:12,247
I dub thee three honorary
knights of Camelot.
692
00:30:12,248 --> 00:30:14,315
Rise, knights.
693
00:30:18,588 --> 00:30:23,058
I have fought beside the
greatest of warriors,
694
00:30:23,059 --> 00:30:24,992
but none braver than you.
695
00:30:27,563 --> 00:30:28,929
(CHUCKLES)
696
00:30:30,766 --> 00:30:32,500
Now, go.
697
00:30:32,501 --> 00:30:35,536
I have an evil book I must find.
698
00:30:53,422 --> 00:30:56,958
Mr. Stone. Mr. Stone.
699
00:30:56,959 --> 00:30:59,694
Ezekiel. Cassan...
700
00:30:59,695 --> 00:31:01,863
Colonel?
701
00:31:01,864 --> 00:31:02,964
Colonel. Colonel.
702
00:31:03,132 --> 00:31:05,566
(CLATTERING)
703
00:31:10,141 --> 00:31:12,408
(CLATTERING)
704
00:31:13,111 --> 00:31:15,378
Show yourself!
705
00:31:18,516 --> 00:31:20,217
Oh, thank God.
706
00:31:20,218 --> 00:31:21,785
I thought that thing was back.
707
00:31:21,786 --> 00:31:23,053
You thief!
708
00:31:23,054 --> 00:31:24,497
Oh, crap. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
709
00:31:24,498 --> 00:31:25,898
You stole my body!
710
00:31:25,899 --> 00:31:27,767
Yes, yes, I did, but it was
just for a little while.
711
00:31:27,768 --> 00:31:29,235
I promise I was going to give it back.
712
00:31:29,236 --> 00:31:30,570
- Liar!
- No, I'm telling the truth.
713
00:31:30,571 --> 00:31:31,871
I told the Librarians about the book,
714
00:31:31,872 --> 00:31:33,739
and I was taking them to find it
715
00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:36,742
when this monster, it came out
and it attacked us, and I hid.
716
00:31:36,743 --> 00:31:38,878
You think that was bad?
Wait till I get hold of you!
717
00:31:38,879 --> 00:31:40,213
- Please, please, please.
- How dare you!
718
00:31:40,214 --> 00:31:42,248
Stop! Just stop. Please, please stop.
719
00:31:42,249 --> 00:31:44,217
I screwed up. I used the book,
720
00:31:44,218 --> 00:31:45,618
and I got in way over my head.
721
00:31:45,619 --> 00:31:47,286
I didn't mean for any
of this to happen.
722
00:31:47,287 --> 00:31:51,122
- (GROANS)
- I'm so sorry.
723
00:31:55,529 --> 00:31:59,599
That thing. What was that?
724
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,869
That is Asmodeus, one of
the Seven Princes of Hell.
725
00:32:03,870 --> 00:32:07,940
Centuries ago, Merlin entrapped
him in that spellbook.
726
00:32:07,941 --> 00:32:09,909
But by you using it, you unknowingly
727
00:32:09,910 --> 00:32:12,845
released him back into the world.
728
00:32:12,846 --> 00:32:16,148
- Your friends, are they...
- They're...
729
00:32:16,149 --> 00:32:17,516
They'll be fine.
730
00:32:17,517 --> 00:32:20,019
It's just a form of hibernation.
731
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:24,423
Asmodeus' power is limited for
now, but I must find him.
732
00:32:24,424 --> 00:32:26,692
I must entrap him again,
and to do that,
733
00:32:26,693 --> 00:32:28,694
I must be in my own body.
734
00:32:28,695 --> 00:32:31,897
- So give me that book back.
- You wanna switch back now?
735
00:32:31,898 --> 00:32:34,433
If I'm to fight a Prince of Hell,
736
00:32:34,434 --> 00:32:37,503
I can't do it in this...
737
00:32:37,504 --> 00:32:40,239
short, slightly overweight body.
738
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,309
I need to be in my own skin.
739
00:32:43,310 --> 00:32:46,587
- But I like being you.
- Jeff!
740
00:32:46,588 --> 00:32:48,914
You saw my life. You
saw how much it sucks.
741
00:32:48,915 --> 00:32:51,883
I mean, I live in my mother's
basement, for Christ's sake.
742
00:32:52,619 --> 00:32:55,988
My life is not yours to take.
743
00:32:55,989 --> 00:32:57,923
I know. I know.
744
00:32:57,924 --> 00:32:59,125
It... It...
745
00:32:59,126 --> 00:33:01,427
It's just...
746
00:33:01,428 --> 00:33:04,664
You had to be me for a couple of days.
747
00:33:04,665 --> 00:33:06,331
I have to be me forever.
748
00:33:12,372 --> 00:33:15,641
Not long ago, I made a decision
749
00:33:15,642 --> 00:33:18,778
to become mortal.
750
00:33:18,779 --> 00:33:22,515
My choice. I... I did it willingly,
751
00:33:22,516 --> 00:33:25,851
but I will confess that
I was not prepared
752
00:33:25,852 --> 00:33:29,088
for what it would be like
to actually be human.
753
00:33:29,089 --> 00:33:32,058
And I've been struggling,
truly struggling,
754
00:33:32,059 --> 00:33:34,660
with the idea of growing
older, the limitations,
755
00:33:34,661 --> 00:33:36,729
and having to go into the world
756
00:33:36,730 --> 00:33:38,331
dealing with people?
757
00:33:38,332 --> 00:33:41,133
There are a lot of awful
people in the world.
758
00:33:41,134 --> 00:33:43,569
Do you know that? But I
think I'm coming to realize
759
00:33:43,570 --> 00:33:47,206
that I've been concentrating on
the negative a little too much,
760
00:33:47,207 --> 00:33:51,544
because on the other side
there are wonderful,
761
00:33:51,545 --> 00:33:55,448
amazing things in this
life, in your life.
762
00:33:55,449 --> 00:33:58,284
You have phenomenally
faithful friends,
763
00:33:58,285 --> 00:34:01,953
you have a loving mother,
and you have food.
764
00:34:02,789 --> 00:34:04,123
Yeah, food is good.
765
00:34:04,124 --> 00:34:05,124
Food is delicious.
766
00:34:05,125 --> 00:34:06,559
Yeah.
767
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,227
And so there are beautiful
things in life,
768
00:34:08,228 --> 00:34:11,230
in your life,
and we have to embrace it all.
769
00:34:11,231 --> 00:34:13,833
Because, really, what's the
point of having a life
770
00:34:13,834 --> 00:34:17,302
if one does not live it fully?
771
00:34:24,177 --> 00:34:27,646
If I have followed
this recipe precisely,
772
00:34:27,647 --> 00:34:31,450
this should do the trick.
773
00:34:31,451 --> 00:34:34,520
- Ugh, it smells rank.
- Eh? It... well,
774
00:34:34,521 --> 00:34:37,356
it can't be any worse than your
friend Schmidt's homemade mead.
775
00:34:37,357 --> 00:34:38,823
Down the hatch.
776
00:34:42,529 --> 00:34:43,562
I could use a chaser.
777
00:34:43,563 --> 00:34:44,963
Ooh.
778
00:34:46,133 --> 00:34:49,133
Hey, what's going on?
Why do I still look like you?
779
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,273
Perhaps the potion has
a delayed reaction.
780
00:34:54,274 --> 00:34:57,610
Oh, okay. So what? Do we just
sit here and wait it out?
781
00:34:57,611 --> 00:34:59,078
No, no, no. We have no time for that.
782
00:34:59,079 --> 00:35:01,447
For every minute
Asmodeus is out there,
783
00:35:01,448 --> 00:35:02,848
he gains in strength.
784
00:35:02,849 --> 00:35:05,818
Fortunately, we have
something he needs.
785
00:35:05,819 --> 00:35:08,053
When Merlin first captured Asmodeus,
786
00:35:08,054 --> 00:35:11,123
he took some of his
power as a precaution
787
00:35:11,124 --> 00:35:13,726
and contained it within a gem stone
788
00:35:13,727 --> 00:35:16,162
which Merlin then hid inside the book.
789
00:35:16,163 --> 00:35:18,531
Sort of a hide-in-plain sight thing.
790
00:35:18,532 --> 00:35:21,000
So as long as I have the gem stone,
791
00:35:21,001 --> 00:35:23,736
Asmodeus will not be fully powerful
792
00:35:23,737 --> 00:35:25,336
and I can defeat him.
793
00:35:27,507 --> 00:35:28,607
There's no... Where's the gem...
794
00:35:28,608 --> 00:35:30,476
there's no gemstone.
795
00:35:30,477 --> 00:35:33,412
This gemstone, um, was it...
796
00:35:33,413 --> 00:35:37,650
kinda small, sort of a reddish color?
797
00:35:37,651 --> 00:35:40,085
- Oh, Jeff, no.
- Look, I didn't know.
798
00:35:40,086 --> 00:35:41,387
It was just sitting
there inside the book.
799
00:35:41,388 --> 00:35:42,555
What did you do with it?
800
00:35:42,556 --> 00:35:44,423
(STAMMERS) You know, I...
801
00:35:44,424 --> 00:35:47,560
- I s...
- Sorry, you did what?
802
00:35:47,561 --> 00:35:51,063
- I sort of gave it to my mom.
- You gave it to your mom.
803
00:35:51,064 --> 00:35:53,065
Look, it was her birthday,
and it sort of looked
804
00:35:53,066 --> 00:35:54,967
like a cubic zirconia,
so I figured, why not?
805
00:35:54,968 --> 00:35:56,502
So I just gave it to her and then...
806
00:35:56,503 --> 00:35:58,037
I just don't wanna piss her off.
I mean, you know my mom.
807
00:35:58,038 --> 00:36:00,039
She can be a bit of
a ballbuster, so...
808
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,442
Listen to me, Jeff. Asmodeus will
be looking for that gemstone,
809
00:36:03,443 --> 00:36:04,677
so if it is with your mother...
810
00:36:04,678 --> 00:36:05,978
That's where Asmodeus is heading.
811
00:36:05,979 --> 00:36:08,514
And she and your friends
are in grave danger.
812
00:36:08,515 --> 00:36:09,615
What do we do?
813
00:36:09,616 --> 00:36:11,950
We take the battle to him.
814
00:36:18,725 --> 00:36:20,860
Now, when we get inside, stay close
815
00:36:20,861 --> 00:36:22,528
be prepared for anything.
816
00:36:22,529 --> 00:36:25,163
- I'm scared.
- You should be.
817
00:36:35,675 --> 00:36:38,744
Mom? Schmidt?
818
00:36:38,745 --> 00:36:41,947
- Asmodeus?
- What are you...
819
00:36:41,948 --> 00:36:44,550
- You don't call for the Prince of Hell.
- Right.
820
00:36:44,551 --> 00:36:45,985
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
821
00:36:45,986 --> 00:36:47,166
- (WOMAN SOBBING)
- (SNARLS)
822
00:36:48,722 --> 00:36:51,222
(ROARS)
823
00:36:52,442 --> 00:36:53,809
(GROWLING)
824
00:36:53,810 --> 00:36:56,278
Back, foul beast! Get the gemstone.
825
00:36:56,279 --> 00:36:58,447
She'll be safe without the gemstone.
826
00:36:58,448 --> 00:37:00,215
Hurry! Hurry!
827
00:37:00,216 --> 00:37:02,384
- JEFF: Mom, are you okay?
- MOTHER: What's going on?
828
00:37:02,385 --> 00:37:04,286
What's wrong with that man's face?
829
00:37:04,287 --> 00:37:05,454
Mom, I need the gemstone.
830
00:37:05,455 --> 00:37:07,055
No, tell him to get his own.
831
00:37:07,056 --> 00:37:08,957
Mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
832
00:37:08,958 --> 00:37:11,126
Got it!
833
00:37:11,127 --> 00:37:12,661
Time to go!
834
00:37:12,662 --> 00:37:15,596
- (ROARS)
- Bye, Mom!
835
00:37:19,569 --> 00:37:20,802
Come. Come. Come.
836
00:37:20,803 --> 00:37:22,604
We'll lure him back to the Library,
837
00:37:22,605 --> 00:37:24,806
trap him there.
838
00:37:24,807 --> 00:37:27,209
(SHOUTS)
839
00:37:27,210 --> 00:37:28,276
Damn it.
840
00:37:28,277 --> 00:37:29,277
Oh! To the basement.
841
00:37:29,278 --> 00:37:30,945
Go. Go. Go!
842
00:37:32,648 --> 00:37:35,384
Oh, my God, my friends.
843
00:37:35,385 --> 00:37:37,886
Oh, my God, this is all my fault.
844
00:37:37,887 --> 00:37:38,896
I did this.
845
00:37:38,897 --> 00:37:40,088
God, I'm such a schmuck.
846
00:37:40,089 --> 00:37:42,891
We don't have time for this.
He will find us.
847
00:37:42,892 --> 00:37:45,260
What if we just give him back the
gemstone, apologize, be like,
848
00:37:45,261 --> 00:37:47,029
"Asmodeus, we're really sorry
that we took your gemstone"?
849
00:37:47,030 --> 00:37:50,132
You wanted to be a Knight of
Camelot. Now is your chance.
850
00:37:50,133 --> 00:37:51,233
Fight.
851
00:37:51,234 --> 00:37:53,134
- I'm scared.
- Well...
852
00:37:55,204 --> 00:37:57,972
Oh, God! No, no, no, no!
853
00:38:02,011 --> 00:38:05,112
(BOTH GRUNTING)
854
00:38:23,933 --> 00:38:26,133
Jeff! Get out here and fight!
855
00:38:37,113 --> 00:38:38,445
Hey, zombie face!
856
00:38:39,382 --> 00:38:40,882
You want this?
857
00:38:40,883 --> 00:38:42,184
(SNARLS)
858
00:38:42,185 --> 00:38:46,221
You shall not pass!
859
00:38:46,222 --> 00:38:48,023
(GROWLS)
860
00:38:48,024 --> 00:38:49,958
Okay. No, I'm just kidding.
You can have it.
861
00:38:49,959 --> 00:38:50,992
You can have it. I don't want it.
862
00:38:50,993 --> 00:38:52,294
Take it, please. Just take it.
863
00:38:52,295 --> 00:38:54,128
Take it. I don't want it.
864
00:38:55,631 --> 00:38:59,800
(LAUGHING)
865
00:39:12,482 --> 00:39:14,048
Well done.
866
00:39:16,152 --> 00:39:17,919
You fought well.
867
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:22,524
Yeah. Well, it's easy when
you're Galahad the brave knight.
868
00:39:22,525 --> 00:39:24,024
Take a look in the mirror.
869
00:39:25,595 --> 00:39:28,964
I did this?
870
00:39:28,965 --> 00:39:30,098
As myself?
871
00:39:30,099 --> 00:39:31,399
Like a true knight.
872
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,102
We switched back when we
came through the magic door.
873
00:39:37,206 --> 00:39:38,507
Oh, I think I'm gonna puke.
874
00:39:38,508 --> 00:39:41,242
- Oh.
- (JEFF RETCHING)
875
00:39:42,545 --> 00:39:43,778
Jeff, is that really you?
876
00:39:43,779 --> 00:39:45,914
- Dude!
- Hey, what's up, guys?
877
00:39:45,915 --> 00:39:47,749
Dude!
878
00:39:47,750 --> 00:39:50,585
(LAUGHING)
879
00:39:50,586 --> 00:39:51,786
JEFF: Oh, my God,
I have so many stories.
880
00:39:51,787 --> 00:39:53,588
AURORA: It was amazing.
We got knighted.
881
00:39:53,589 --> 00:39:55,123
(ALL CHATTERING)
882
00:39:55,124 --> 00:39:56,224
I wasn't even scared.
883
00:39:57,894 --> 00:39:59,227
I found Poseidon's Trident.
884
00:39:59,228 --> 00:40:01,029
Jeff was roasting
marshmallows with it.
885
00:40:01,030 --> 00:40:03,198
Still better than what he was
doing with the Shroud Of Turin.
886
00:40:03,199 --> 00:40:05,567
Good Lord, how much
damage can one man cause?
887
00:40:05,568 --> 00:40:07,669
We're just happy to have you back.
888
00:40:07,670 --> 00:40:10,939
What about you, mate? You still
haven't told us what it was like.
889
00:40:10,940 --> 00:40:12,841
Yeah, it must've been awful, huh,
890
00:40:12,842 --> 00:40:14,976
hanging out with the common folk?
891
00:40:14,977 --> 00:40:19,546
Actually, you know, people aren't
bad if you give 'em half a chance.
892
00:40:21,551 --> 00:40:23,318
They can be quite delightful.
893
00:40:23,319 --> 00:40:25,386
I have an appointment
I have to get to.
894
00:40:26,455 --> 00:40:28,422
I think I'll drive.
895
00:40:30,626 --> 00:40:34,162
Did he just say people
could be delightful?
896
00:40:34,163 --> 00:40:35,896
Wonders never cease.
897
00:40:39,468 --> 00:40:41,836
So that mind flayer?
He, like, melted his brain.
898
00:40:41,837 --> 00:40:43,004
- Yeah, my favorite.
- That was so good.
899
00:40:43,005 --> 00:40:44,005
I just replay that over and over.
900
00:40:44,006 --> 00:40:46,841
- Hey, Jenkins!
- Jenkins!
901
00:40:46,842 --> 00:40:48,543
JEFF: What's up, dude?
You're just in time.
902
00:40:48,544 --> 00:40:50,645
We're just about to fight the
acid-spewing black dragon.
903
00:40:50,646 --> 00:40:54,015
First of all, black dragons breathe
fire. They do not spew acid.
904
00:40:54,016 --> 00:40:56,918
- He's so good.
- And I brought your mom
905
00:40:56,919 --> 00:40:58,186
a nice big bag of Werther's Originals.
906
00:40:58,187 --> 00:40:59,688
- Aww, thanks.
- And you know what?
907
00:40:59,689 --> 00:41:01,556
If I'm gonna continue
playing with you guys,
908
00:41:01,557 --> 00:41:03,458
I need to be Dungeon Master.
909
00:41:03,459 --> 00:41:05,227
- Agreed.
- What? No.
910
00:41:05,228 --> 00:41:07,128
- Dude, come on.
- I'm moving. I'm moving.
911
00:41:07,129 --> 00:41:09,864
Dude, dude, I can't have
you playing this game
912
00:41:09,865 --> 00:41:12,067
with all of these inaccuracies.
913
00:41:12,068 --> 00:41:14,869
Fine, but my character gets to
have the ring of fire resistance.
914
00:41:14,870 --> 00:41:16,504
- Yes! Happening.
- Another ring?
915
00:41:16,505 --> 00:41:18,306
- Ring of fire... every time.
- No. It's not a real thing.
916
00:41:18,307 --> 00:41:21,743
Shh. Okay, danger.
917
00:41:21,744 --> 00:41:24,845
The moat? It is dark.
918
00:41:25,047 --> 00:41:28,115
But you must cross it.
65968
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