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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,770
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,038
So, Leonard, tell
everyone your news.
3
00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:07,708
Oh, uh, I am
starting a book.
4
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,478
That would be big news
from Penny,
5
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,347
but you've read a book before.
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,683
He means he's writing a book.
7
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:19,087
I do. It's something I've been
thinking about for a long time.
8
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,255
Yeah. It's about
a brilliant physicist
9
00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:23,357
who solves crimes
using science.
10
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,392
Oh, Leonard...
11
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,060
It's not about you!
12
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,163
Oh, boy.
What?
13
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:31,232
They cast the new
Professor Proton.
14
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,701
Is it Sheldon?
Not exactly.
15
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,236
SHELDON:
Wheaton!
16
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,371
It's Wil Wheaton.
17
00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,211
Hey, what are you doing?
18
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,778
I thought we were having
dinner at Leonard and Penny's.
19
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,414
Oh, no.
20
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,416
No, they're watching
the new Professor Proton.
21
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,184
I-I can't keep Wil Wheaton
off the Internet,
22
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,719
but I can keep him
off my retinas.
23
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:55,623
So, you're just gonna sit here
by yourself and do nothing?
24
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,358
Of course not.
25
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:01,229
I'm going to write mean comments
about Wil's show online.
26
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,432
Well, you can't criticize
something you haven't seen.
27
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:07,735
I'm sorry, are you familiar
with the Internet?
28
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,837
Well, what if
I watch it with you?
29
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,306
Maybe I won't like it and we
can complain about it together.
30
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,542
Get your own thing
to complain about.
31
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,677
Oh, trust me, I've got one.
32
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,281
Look, at least
if you watch it,
33
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:23,484
maybe you can find more
specific things to criticize.
34
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,353
Oh, that is a good point.
35
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,788
Criticisms are more hurtful
when they're specific.
36
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,426
* Grab your goggles
37
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,362
* Lab coat on
38
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:37,665
* Here he comes,
Professor Proton. *
39
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,567
Hey, everybody.
I'm Professor Proton.
40
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,370
Welcome to the show.
Today I will be teaching you
41
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:46,207
how to make a real hovercraft
using common household items.
42
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,210
Darn it, I do like
objects that hover.
43
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,879
All you will need is a CD,
44
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:55,383
a bottle cap, a balloon,
and some super glue.
45
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,786
Oh, no! I have
all those things!
46
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:02,656
* Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state *
47
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,693
* Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! *
48
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,461
* The Earth began to cool
49
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:10,164
* The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools *
50
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,666
* We built the Wall
* We built the pyramids *
51
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,369
* Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery *
52
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,271
* That all started
with a big bang *
53
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,739
* Bang! *
54
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,318
Hey.
Hi.
55
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:32,253
What's that noise?
56
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,722
Oh, it's my new keyboard.
57
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,857
It looks and sounds like
an old-fashioned typewriter.
58
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,260
It makes me feel
like a real novelist.
59
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,230
You poured yourself a Scotch.
60
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,364
Apple juice.
Oh.
61
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,499
But unsweetened,
62
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,535
like Hemingway used to drink.
Ah.
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00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,737
So, how's the book
coming along?
Uh, good.
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00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,639
I just wrote the part
where the hero,
65
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,275
hotshot physicist Logan Dean,
arrives at CERN.
66
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,876
Oh, is he based on you?
67
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,446
Uh, kind of.
But he can eat dairy products
68
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,414
without having
to leave the room.
69
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:03,251
Yeah, that's smart, because
CERN is in Switzerland
70
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:05,219
and there's a lot
of cheese there.
Hmm.
71
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:08,356
Uh, believe me,
that is a plot point later.
72
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,291
Well, I'm excited to read
it whenever you're ready.
73
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,293
Thank you.
74
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,762
Oh. Oh! I just thought
of the murder weapon!
75
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,297
Swiss army knife?
76
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,299
No.
77
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,604
That's way better.
78
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,508
Look, it works!
We did it!
79
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,644
See, there was a reason
to keep that TurboTax CD.
80
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:32,380
Yeah.
81
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,647
A CD
82
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,649
More like "CD-vroom."
83
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,652
Do you feel bad
you told Wil Wheaton
84
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,921
that you'd be his enemy
if he did this show?
85
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,424
No. I feel bad
86
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,593
I'm engaged to somebody
that would point that out.
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00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,529
WHEATON:
It's time for Professor Proton's
88
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,030
science joke of the day.
89
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,666
Why can you not trust atoms?
90
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,402
Hmm.
91
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:57,471
Because they make up everything.
92
00:03:57,505 --> 00:04:00,741
:
Oh, that's funny!
93
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:03,677
Yeah, because they do.
They make up everything.
94
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,615
Oh, I wonder who that could be.
95
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,917
Just when I thought this
couldn't get any better,
96
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,019
Wil has introduced
suspense into the show.
97
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,491
Hey, it's real NASA
astronaut, Howard Wolowitz!
98
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,993
What?!
99
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,529
Hey, Professor Proton.
100
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,796
Hey, thanks
for being here.
101
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:25,966
No problem.
I'm on my "launch" break.
102
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,705
How could Wil ask Howard to
be on his show and not me?
103
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,707
Well, he is an astronaut.
104
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:37,077
And he didn't start an online
petition to get Wil fired.
105
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,647
But why wouldn't
Howard tell me?
106
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,081
Well, because
he probably worried
107
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,485
that you'd be
a big baby about it.
108
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,720
All those answers
make a lot of sense.
109
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,490
Thank you, Amy.
That helps.
110
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,826
And then, when the lights
come back on
111
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:55,896
in the supercollider room,
Dr. Logan Dean makes
112
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:59,400
two important discoveries:
a gluino
113
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,502
:
and murder.
114
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,671
Oh, gluino.
That's exciting.
115
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,408
:
And murder.
116
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,877
:
I heard you.
117
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:13,347
The first time.
118
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,483
I don't know which Hemsworth
is playing Logan Dean,
119
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,385
but I know it's a Hemsworth.
120
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,986
Well, Logan's
actually based on me.
121
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,855
So a young Paul Giamatti.
122
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,624
Well, I have to
finish writing it
123
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,493
before they can make it
into a movie,
124
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,695
and I still have a few things
to figure out.
125
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:28,996
You should talk
to Bernadette.
126
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,964
Since she's been on
bed rest, she's binged,
127
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:34,134
like, every detective
show in the world.
128
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,904
Oh, there was a funny detective
show in India called Karamchand.
129
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,772
He had an assistant
named Kitty,
130
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,974
and he was always saying,
"Shut up, Kitty!"
131
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,878
Sounds less mean if
you say it in Hindi
132
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:48,516
and don't think of women
as having feelings.
133
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:49,817
Hello.
134
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,452
Hey.
Hey.
Hi.
135
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,522
Howard, I want you to know
that I forgive you.
136
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,490
I'll take it.
137
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,459
What's he forgiving you for?
138
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:01,395
Don't care. Clean slate.
Happy Yom Kippur to me.
139
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,797
I know that you were
on Wil's show,
140
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,733
and I know
why you didn't tell me.
141
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:06,734
Do you?
142
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,502
Because you were afraid
143
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,404
that I would be difficult
and annoying about it.
144
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,139
I hope your book has a twist
145
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,475
as surprising as that.
146
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:17,077
It doesn't.
147
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,513
I thought you were
boycotting Wil's show.
148
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,715
I was, but I decided
to give it a shot,
149
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,684
and I actually enjoyed it.
150
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:27,054
Just out of curiosity, how did
you come to be on the show?
151
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,056
Did he ask you?
Did you ask him?
152
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,025
Did you just show up on the set
and ring that doorbell?
153
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,194
Sheldon, if you want
to be on the show,
154
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,697
you're gonna have to
apologize to Wil.
155
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:40,033
That would be
the mature thing to do.
156
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,870
Let's put a pin in that
and keep thinking.
157
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,509
Ooh.
158
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,544
What Which part?
159
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:52,212
That was just the baby kicking.
160
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,981
Got it.
161
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,717
But this is good so far,
really good.
Yeah?
162
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,119
Yeah. I have no idea
who the killer is.
163
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,455
Oh, great. Me, neither.
164
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:05,225
So, does Penny know
you based a character on her?
165
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,194
What character?
166
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,997
Ilsa, the head of the institute.
That's clearly Penny.
167
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,031
No, it's not.
168
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,466
Really?
169
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,901
Confident, ball-busting beauty
170
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,637
who's always
rolling her eyes at Logan?
171
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:21,174
Trust me, that describes
more women than you think.
172
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:25,012
"He looked at the stunning woman
who was his boss and said..."
173
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,648
It's murder.
174
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,450
Figure that out yourself,
genius?
175
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,754
Okay, no need to be snarky.
176
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,988
Who would want to kill him?
177
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,658
Could be anyone.
Dr. Silvers.
178
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,161
Dr. Prekash.
179
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,998
Hans the janitor.
180
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,236
But the door is locked,
181
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,539
so it has to be someone
in this room.
182
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,174
Wow, you are on fire.
183
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,079
Maybe it is a
little like Penny.
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00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,014
Any chance she'll be flattered?
185
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,517
I don't know. She's pretty mean.
186
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:04,785
Ilsa or Penny?
187
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,054
Exactly.
188
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,225
Oh, hey, Howard.
What's up?
189
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,061
I'm so sorry.
190
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,563
What for?
191
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,099
Hello.
192
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,701
Hello, Sheldon.
193
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,703
I suppose you've come here
to tell me
194
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,072
that you've moved me to your
super secret enemies list.
195
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:28,241
I don't have
a super secret enemies list.
196
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:30,043
I'm not a Bond villain.
197
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,813
I'm just a regular guy,
198
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,182
with a regular enemies list.
199
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:38,552
Which, by the way,
you are no longer on.
200
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:41,555
Really?
Well, that is something.
201
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:44,658
It's not something that I care
about, but it is something.
202
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,627
He's trying to
say he's sorry.
203
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,161
I am.
204
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,298
I watched your show,
and it's really good.
205
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,700
Aw, thank you.
206
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,802
And I regret
how hard I was on you.
207
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,236
I want you to know
208
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,606
that being on
the Professor Proton show
209
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,674
has been a childhood dream
of mine.
210
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,342
So, if you're
ever looking
211
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:06,580
for any more scientist guests,
I hope you'll consider me.
212
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:09,817
I appreciate that, Sheldon,
and I'll keep it in mind.
213
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,284
You know, actually...
214
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,687
Yay!
Uh...
215
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:16,256
No. No. I want to have
216
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,826
more female scientists
represented on the show,
217
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,729
and I thought maybe Amy
might be interested?
218
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,340
Or...
219
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,909
wouldn't it be nice
220
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:39,813
to have us both on, to show that
221
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:43,350
even female scientists
can land a man?
222
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,656
I said "sorry."
223
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,465
So, what do you think?
224
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:01,268
I like it. I can't wait
to see who the killer is.
225
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,871
Is it that Ilsa girl?
She seems pretty mean.
226
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:06,940
But adorably mean,
227
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:10,010
like a baby lion?
228
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,680
No, regular mean,
like a regular lion.
229
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:17,050
But it seems pretty accurate,
considering who you based it on.
230
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,119
Huh.
231
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,288
And who do you think that is?
232
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,891
But the door is locked,
233
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,926
so it has to be someone
in this room.
234
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,699
Wow. You are on fire.
235
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,703
Oh. Y...
236
00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,738
Bernadette.
Yeah, sure.
237
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,240
Each one of you had a motive.
238
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,910
Who died and
made you detective?
239
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,945
He did.
240
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,749
I think you're neglecting
your own motive,
241
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:51,118
a massive inferiority complex.
242
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,186
It's not massive.
243
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,222
It's just average-sized.
244
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,160
I don't mean to interrupt,
but somebody's tracking
245
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:03,363
blood everywhere, so--
never mind, it's me.
246
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,734
You say we're all suspects.
247
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,336
How do we know
you're not the killer?
248
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,071
I have an alibi.
249
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:14,842
Yeah. He's not smart enough to
pull off a murder like this.
250
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:20,247
It's pretty obvious:
blonde, mean, glasses.
251
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,182
It doesn't say "glasses."
Oh, really?
252
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,718
But it will,
because Ilsa does.
253
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:26,419
And you know
who else wears them?
254
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,856
Bernadette.
255
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,491
And-and that's her, cause it's,
256
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,927
it's totally, it's totally her.
257
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,767
Oh, Amy.
Good, you're here.
258
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,068
Hi. What's up?
259
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:44,872
How would you like to be
on television?
260
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,874
Is it gonna be a news story
261
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:49,476
where I have to say you were
quiet and kept to yourself
262
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,378
and I'm as shocked as anyone?
263
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,114
No, it's not.
264
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:57,985
Wil Wheaton wants you to be
on Professor Proton.
265
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:01,254
That's nice, but I'm not
really interested.
266
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,256
What do you mean?
267
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,425
But he wants to talk
about women in science.
268
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:08,929
You're a woman, you're in
science. You go, girl.
269
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,064
I'm all for promoting women
in science,
270
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,433
but I don't really want to be
on Wil's show.
271
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:17,370
Is it because
kids may be there,
272
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,073
and they're known carriers
of head lice? I get that.
273
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,542
Sure, that's the reason.
274
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,012
Wait a minute.
275
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,314
You're always bragging that lice
aren't attracted to you
276
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,982
because your scalp is so oily.
277
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,084
That was on your dating profile.
278
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,286
Okay, look,
279
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,856
I know you have strong feelings
about Professor Proton,
280
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,291
and I don't want to get
in the middle of that.
281
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:41,528
So you're not
going to do something
282
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,430
just because you think
it might upset me?
283
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,498
Well, it's tricky,
284
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,801
because answering that
question honestly
285
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:51,104
is one of the things I tend
not to do because it upsets you.
286
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:55,008
Well, that's
very upsetting.
287
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,543
Like I said.
288
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,413
What other things
don't you do because of me?
289
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,083
Remember last week
when we went
290
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,886
to that dueling piano bar
I was so excited about?
291
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,021
No.
Well, now you're
getting it.
292
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,427
Boy, I don't know how people
who aren't on bed rest
293
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:17,030
keep up with
the Kardashians.
294
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:19,066
Well, sometimes
you have to read in your car
295
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:22,169
while your husband thinks
you're working late.
296
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,105
Speaking of which, he came by
yesterday to show me his book.
297
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,909
Oh, and-and
what did you think?
298
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,110
I liked it.
299
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,880
Really? The Ilsa character
didn't bother you?
300
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,315
Oh, he was exaggerating.
You're not really like that.
301
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,853
Well, I know
I'm not like that.
302
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,955
The character
was based on you.
303
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,556
I don't know
what to tell you.
304
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,625
When I brought it up with
Leonard, he said it was you.
305
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,495
Well, when I
brought it up, he...
306
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,363
got all squirrelly
and left the room.
307
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,399
Son of a bitch.
308
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:59,106
I just learned
some very distressing news.
309
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,608
Sometimes,
Amy doesn't do things
310
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,343
because she's worried about
how I'll react.
311
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:06,046
First of all, it's not
sometimes, it's always.
312
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:09,416
Second, it's not
Amy, it's everybody.
313
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,553
And third, it's not news,
it's well-established.
314
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:16,389
Yeah. Like just now I
wanted to get a croissant,
315
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:20,060
but I didn't want to hear
you say, "Ooh, la, la."
316
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,395
So you're saying
everyone walks on eggshells
317
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,131
to spare my feelings?
318
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,999
No, of course not,
because we don't want
319
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,101
to hear you complain about
how much you hate the sound
320
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,637
of crunching eggshells.
321
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:34,174
I don't want my relationship
with Amy to be like that.
322
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,543
Sheldon, Amy knew
what she was getting into.
323
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:37,677
You think?
324
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,512
Yes, we warned her.
325
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,550
Well, regardless, I can change.
326
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,618
Sure.
Yeah, of course you can.
327
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:48,688
You know, everybody thinks
I'm so predictable.
328
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,690
Well, tomorrow I'm gonna
show up at work
329
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,659
and do something
no one will expect.
330
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,928
Where a baseball cap backwards
to prove your point?
331
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,203
Yes, but which hat?
332
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,638
Gryffindor.
333
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,575
Well, now that you guessed it,
I'm not gonna do it.
334
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,043
Yeah, you will.
335
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,679
Yeah.
336
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,558
Looks like the bullet
went right through you.
337
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,394
Damn it, Logan.
When are you gonna stop?
338
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:31,198
Sorry. I didn't get my PhD
in quitting.
339
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:34,601
You're a physicist. What makes
you think you can solve a crime?
340
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,469
He's losing
a lot of blood.
341
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:39,239
Great. I'm gonna
have to clean that up.
342
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,409
You know what?
A little soda water
343
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,378
might get that
right out.
344
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,580
We got to find
some bandages.
ILSA: No.
345
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,482
There's no time.
346
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,620
Does it hurt?
347
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:57,224
Everything you do hurts.
348
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,961
Then why do you keep
coming back for more?
349
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,001
Hey.
350
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,769
So this is what you think of me?
351
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,339
Huh? I'm mean and
everything I do hurts you?
352
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,041
What are you talking about?
353
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,475
I know I'm Ilsa.
354
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,677
Wha...? That is crazy.
355
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,612
You-you two are
totally different.
356
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:20,580
How?
357
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:23,050
Well, you... She...
358
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,053
Her name's Ilsa.
359
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,587
You know what?
360
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,522
It's fine. Write
whatever you want.
361
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:32,292
And by the way, Logan Dean can
tell everyone he's five-eight,
362
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,327
but he's not fooling anybody!
363
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:47,074
Are you sure that's the move
you want to make?
364
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,341
Absolutely.
365
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,610
Okay.
366
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,282
Checkmate.
367
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,317
Oh, I did not see that coming.
368
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,720
That's well played, Amy.
369
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,522
What's going on?
370
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:07,227
You beat me, and I am responding
with humility and admiration.
371
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,828
What does it look like?
372
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,364
You let me win
so you could show me
373
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,600
how emotionally mature you are,
didn't you?
374
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,702
Well, I couldn't wait for you
to actually beat me;
375
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:16,803
that would take forever.
376
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,507
I'm sorry. It's...
377
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,109
I'm trying to show you
378
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,710
that I can change.
379
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,546
I-I don't want you to miss out
on things because of me.
380
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,815
I know you don't.
381
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,184
You know,
and maybe somewhere out there,
382
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:34,621
there is a little girl
who will see you on Wil's show
383
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,856
and realize that she, too,
can grow up
384
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,126
to be a brilliant, amazing,
385
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,161
successful scientist.
386
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,564
Thank you.
387
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,666
Who is really terrible at chess.
388
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,601
Got it.
389
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,637
No, no, no.
I mean really bad.
390
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:54,374
What was your queen doing
over there, going shopping?
391
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,712
I mean, I-I didn't intend
to write about Penny,
392
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,315
but I guess maybe
subconsciously I did.
393
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:06,219
I believe you mean
"unconsciously," dear.
394
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,455
Yeah, sure.
You know, it would be nice
395
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,457
if you didn't correct me
all the time.
396
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,725
It would be nice
if I didn't have to.
397
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,763
Maybe this book of yours
is a bad idea.
398
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,131
What do you mean?
399
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,499
Well, you're a physicist.
400
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,534
What makes you think
you can write a book?
401
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,475
You're a physicist.
402
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,311
What makes you think
you can solve a crime?
403
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,847
Got to go.
404
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,283
I think you mean "have..."
405
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:39,919
Oh, Penny, good news.
406
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,554
It's not you.
What?
407
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,356
Ilsa. It's not you.
It's my mother.
408
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,124
I've been writing
about my mother!
409
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,528
I think you're neglecting
your own motive,
410
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,797
a massive inferiority complex.
411
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,865
It's not massive.
412
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,368
It's just average-sized.
413
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,873
We got to find
some bandages.
414
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:03,210
There's no time.
415
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,181
Does it hurt?
416
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,717
Everything you do hurts.
417
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,653
Then why do you keep
coming back for more?
418
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,422
Maybe you like it.
419
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:18,458
I-- M-Maybe I do.
420
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:27,634
You know what? I'm a physicist.
What am I doing writing a book?
421
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,876
WHEATON: Well, that is
our show for today.
422
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,745
And I want to say
a very special thank you
423
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,447
to Dr. Amy Fowler
for being here.
424
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,914
It was a real pleasure
having you.
425
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,217
And you can feel
that pleasure
426
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:48,888
because you don't have a lesion
in your nucleus accumbens.
427
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,758
I really hope I don't.
428
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,560
All right,
we'll see you next time!
429
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,328
(Professor Proton
theme music plays)
430
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,597
Amy.
431
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,799
You were glowing.
432
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,736
Oily scalp.
433
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,706
I'm so proud of you.
434
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:09,809
And I'm proud of you.
435
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,878
Because you can't
tell how jealous I am?
436
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,881
No, no, no. I can.
437
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,884
But I can tell how hard
you're trying to keep it in.
438
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,919
Really hard.
439
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:24,657
I'm gonna go to bed.
All right, I'm gonna
go scream on the roof.
440
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,493
Love you.
Love you.
441
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:48,047
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
442
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:52,051
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
443
00:20:56,088 --> 00:21:00,293
Captioned by
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