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www.moviesubtitles.org
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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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So, what can I tell
you about Eve Wilde...
4
00:00:34,542 --> 00:00:36,212
that you don't already know?
5
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:37,980
Well, for starters...
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00:00:37,978 --> 00:00:40,138
she absolutely hates
being called "Grandma"...
7
00:00:40,146 --> 00:00:42,246
or "Grandmother" or
anything with "Grand" in it.
8
00:00:42,249 --> 00:00:45,379
So, she's just plain old
Eve to both you and me.
9
00:00:45,386 --> 00:00:47,116
Oh.
10
00:00:47,121 --> 00:00:50,221
You probably do know
she's been married before.
11
00:00:50,223 --> 00:00:52,163
Right?
12
00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:54,028
But the only one you really
need to pay attention to...
13
00:00:54,027 --> 00:00:57,327
is Laurence, Husband Number
One and my personal favorite...
14
00:00:57,331 --> 00:00:59,501
because, he is
technically my grandpa.
15
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,070
But guess what?
16
00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:05,367
I can't call him that, either. Actors.
17
00:01:05,373 --> 00:01:07,443
Eve and Laurence met in New York...
18
00:01:07,441 --> 00:01:11,641
where Laurence was studying
to be a famous actor.
19
00:01:11,644 --> 00:01:14,154
And Eve wanted to be an actress...
20
00:01:14,147 --> 00:01:17,617
but well, you know how
that ol' chestnut goes.
21
00:01:17,617 --> 00:01:21,087
Life's what happens while
you're busy making plans.
22
00:01:21,087 --> 00:01:24,517
Laurence got cast as the
lead in this big comedy...
23
00:01:24,525 --> 00:01:26,255
and he got Eve a part in it, too...
24
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,160
which was super-cool of him.
25
00:01:28,162 --> 00:01:30,462
But when the film came out,
all of the reviews said...
26
00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:33,403
"Hello. A star is born".
27
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,230
But, they weren't
talking about Laurence.
28
00:01:36,236 --> 00:01:40,236
By the time Eve was one of the
biggest stars in the world...
29
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,040
she and Laurence were exchanging...
30
00:01:42,043 --> 00:01:44,143
humorous divorce gifts.
31
00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:47,054
A silver cowbell for Eve
to wear around her neck...
32
00:01:47,048 --> 00:01:48,808
so Laurence would always
know she was coming.
33
00:01:48,816 --> 00:01:50,716
A birdcage for Laurence...
34
00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:53,618
so that the next Mrs.
Darling couldn't get away.
35
00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:55,350
I'd say Eve is on the whole...
36
00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:57,285
what you'd call a positive person.
37
00:01:57,290 --> 00:02:00,390
She says that her whole life
has been one long fairytale...
38
00:02:00,394 --> 00:02:02,334
and everything.
39
00:02:02,328 --> 00:02:05,058
But I might just disagree with Eve here.
40
00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:08,496
I might say, in everything, except love...
41
00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:11,472
which frankly, if you knew the family...
42
00:02:11,472 --> 00:02:14,442
would be considered the family "hurdle."
43
00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:17,549
But all that was about to change.
44
00:02:20,848 --> 00:02:23,718
Like the lightning that
precedes thunder...
45
00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:28,087
my eyes took in what my
heart knew an instant later...
46
00:02:28,088 --> 00:02:30,658
that this was love.
47
00:02:30,657 --> 00:02:33,057
Love at first sight.
48
00:02:45,239 --> 00:02:47,769
So I'm making a film
for Eve of the weekend.
49
00:02:47,775 --> 00:02:49,305
It's my wedding gift.
50
00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:51,280
And from prior experience...
51
00:02:51,277 --> 00:02:53,877
I can say it'll have a little
bit of all the genres...
52
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:58,681
comedy, drama, musical, and
of course documentary...
53
00:02:58,686 --> 00:03:00,346
which is my forte because...
54
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:03,194
I like to think I ask
the tough questions.
55
00:03:03,189 --> 00:03:04,889
I bet it was the Swedish nanny...
56
00:03:04,891 --> 00:03:06,421
who jumped you when you were like 16.
57
00:03:06,426 --> 00:03:07,856
Excuse me?
58
00:03:07,861 --> 00:03:10,501
Mom told me. She said that
girl was totally your type.
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00:03:10,497 --> 00:03:12,157
Bad girl.
60
00:03:12,165 --> 00:03:14,765
Oh my god. Mackenzie,
that is so inappropriate.
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00:03:14,768 --> 00:03:16,798
Come on, it was the Swedish nanny, right?
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00:03:16,804 --> 00:03:20,474
Actually, my first love was...
63
00:03:20,473 --> 00:03:23,343
My first love...
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00:03:23,343 --> 00:03:26,583
Okay, so he's doing
this whole drum-roll...
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00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:29,650
thing because deep down, he
wants to say it was my mom...
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00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:33,220
but instead, he's just trying
to think of something funny.
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00:03:33,219 --> 00:03:36,189
That's my mom and dad
in this band they had.
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00:03:36,189 --> 00:03:39,159
Mom said there were a lot of guys...
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00:03:39,159 --> 00:03:43,199
trying to get her attention,
but she only had eyes for him.
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00:03:43,197 --> 00:03:47,327
She said he wrote the
most dreamy music.
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00:03:47,334 --> 00:03:51,704
Thing is, he still
does, just not for her.
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00:03:51,705 --> 00:03:57,635
My first love was
a crème brulée...
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00:03:57,645 --> 00:04:00,345
that I had in the south
of France when I was 12.
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00:04:00,347 --> 00:04:02,577
You're so emotionally retarded, Dad.
75
00:04:02,582 --> 00:04:05,522
Thank you. All right, hang on.
76
00:04:05,519 --> 00:04:07,189
Hey, Jimmy.
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00:04:07,187 --> 00:04:08,287
I'm patchin' Ethan in.
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00:04:08,288 --> 00:04:09,918
- Okay.
- But I got everything...
79
00:04:09,924 --> 00:04:12,594
all of Harold's numbers,
bank accounts, loans, debts...
80
00:04:12,592 --> 00:04:14,332
My Uncle Jimmy has fallen in love...
81
00:04:14,328 --> 00:04:16,428
like a gazillion times.
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00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,300
He says he's a romantic.
83
00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:19,898
- Look.
- Jimmy?
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00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:21,899
There he goes again.
85
00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:24,441
Jimmy? Jimmy, you there?
86
00:04:24,437 --> 00:04:26,897
Sorry, what? Sorry, where was I?
87
00:04:26,906 --> 00:04:28,666
Having your suspicions confirmed.
88
00:04:28,675 --> 00:04:31,775
Right, confirming my suspicion
that people who write serious...
89
00:04:31,778 --> 00:04:35,248
novels have a relatively
small pot to piss in.
90
00:04:35,249 --> 00:04:36,579
Which is why this fucking
prenup is a whole...
91
00:04:36,584 --> 00:04:37,954
Dad!
92
00:04:37,951 --> 00:04:39,451
- Hey, honey!
- Hi, Dad.
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00:04:39,452 --> 00:04:41,492
Your bus was very late.
94
00:04:41,487 --> 00:04:44,417
Yeah, I know. I was on
it. Dad, this is Pink.
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00:04:44,425 --> 00:04:47,555
- Pink?
- Hey, dude.
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00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,460
She's coming with us for the weekend.
97
00:04:50,463 --> 00:04:52,703
Well, honey, it's kind
of a special weekend...
98
00:04:52,699 --> 00:04:53,969
don't you think?
99
00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:55,428
Well, I brought a friend
to her last wedding.
100
00:04:55,435 --> 00:04:56,765
But you were five.
101
00:04:56,769 --> 00:04:57,999
I brought a friend at your last wedding.
102
00:04:58,004 --> 00:04:59,904
Thanks, babe.
103
00:04:59,906 --> 00:05:01,966
Please, I finally erased that
whole debacle from my memory.
104
00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:03,565
Where's the car?
105
00:05:03,576 --> 00:05:05,476
- Right there.
- Come on.
106
00:05:06,579 --> 00:05:08,349
Hello?
107
00:05:08,348 --> 00:05:09,448
Where the hell's Ethan?
108
00:05:12,418 --> 00:05:14,418
My Uncle Ethan says...
109
00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:16,560
he's never getting married.
110
00:05:18,692 --> 00:05:21,232
Oh! Fuck, my god!
111
00:05:23,663 --> 00:05:25,303
He says, why would he...
112
00:05:25,298 --> 00:05:27,268
with all the interesting people...
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00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:29,327
he meets on social media these days?
114
00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:31,306
Good boy, Yoyo. Good boy.
115
00:05:33,007 --> 00:05:37,277
Oh, hey, Guy. Yeah. You
heard the new tracks?
116
00:05:37,278 --> 00:05:39,438
Okay, so I'm gonna have
the number one album...
117
00:05:39,446 --> 00:05:40,646
and the number one tour...
118
00:05:40,648 --> 00:05:41,748
if you pull your finger out of your ass.
119
00:05:41,749 --> 00:05:43,919
Do your job. I want arenas.
120
00:05:45,019 --> 00:05:47,689
- Oh, honey, look, look.
- No.
121
00:05:47,687 --> 00:05:48,987
- Mom, please!
- Yes, yes, yes.
122
00:05:48,988 --> 00:05:51,758
Hey, can you pull over?
Yes, yes, right here.
123
00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:53,659
The problem is that when...
124
00:05:53,661 --> 00:05:56,561
it comes to relationships,
examples have to be set.
125
00:05:56,562 --> 00:05:58,962
But in my case, the
adults setting them...
126
00:05:58,966 --> 00:06:03,266
are quite possibly the
worst examples known to man.
127
00:06:05,838 --> 00:06:08,438
Mom, Mom, that slope near the boathouse...
128
00:06:08,442 --> 00:06:11,642
somebody's gonna go ass over
backwards into a lawsuit.
129
00:06:11,644 --> 00:06:14,484
Well, it leads down to the lake.
I don't want to board it up.
130
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,450
Well, can we at least
put up a couple of signs?
131
00:06:16,449 --> 00:06:20,449
Al, could you make up a
couple of signs that say...
132
00:06:20,454 --> 00:06:21,754
"Beware of Steep Slope"?
133
00:06:21,754 --> 00:06:23,594
- A sign?
- Hello.
134
00:06:23,589 --> 00:06:24,819
- Yeah, a sign's gonna save us...
- Oh, you're here.
135
00:06:24,824 --> 00:06:26,324
a million dollars if someone falls...
136
00:06:26,326 --> 00:06:27,926
- We're in here, Mom!
- Hi.
137
00:06:29,028 --> 00:06:30,758
Sam.
138
00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:32,504
Oh... Sam can't pass a
vintage clothing store...
139
00:06:32,499 --> 00:06:33,759
without begging me to stop.
140
00:06:33,766 --> 00:06:34,966
- Hello, darling.
- What's up, buddy?
141
00:06:37,338 --> 00:06:39,668
Oh, that's for you. Come sit down.
142
00:06:39,673 --> 00:06:41,443
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
143
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,842
Sam, just do what I do.
144
00:06:42,843 --> 00:06:44,683
I donate all the clothes Mom gives me.
145
00:06:44,677 --> 00:06:48,077
I think your mother has
a charming fashion sense.
146
00:06:48,081 --> 00:06:49,381
So do I.
147
00:06:49,382 --> 00:06:51,082
- This is lovely.
- Yeah.
148
00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:54,654
Sam! Tell me, how is your father?
149
00:06:54,654 --> 00:06:56,564
He's in Miami.
150
00:06:56,557 --> 00:06:58,817
Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up.
151
00:06:58,826 --> 00:07:00,086
Why?
152
00:07:00,093 --> 00:07:01,963
Well, you know, it was either that...
153
00:07:01,961 --> 00:07:03,131
or I was gonna strangle him.
154
00:07:03,129 --> 00:07:04,869
Sure, the go-to options.
155
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:09,000
- So, Eve.
- Mm-hm.
156
00:07:09,002 --> 00:07:11,672
What can you tell us
about your first love?
157
00:07:15,776 --> 00:07:17,736
Oh.
158
00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:22,705
There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo.
159
00:07:22,716 --> 00:07:25,576
He was the reason I
joined the theater class...
160
00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:27,016
where I met Laurence.
161
00:07:27,019 --> 00:07:30,059
Of course, Cosmo wasn't
interested in girls.
162
00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:34,657
Yeah, duh. Of course, his name is "Cosmo."
163
00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:39,061
All right, so what, your
first love was Laurence?
164
00:07:39,065 --> 00:07:42,595
I remember the first time
Laurence and I rehearsed.
165
00:07:42,603 --> 00:07:49,413
He looked at me with that
smoldering stare that he has.
166
00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:51,850
I mean, you know, you know the one.
167
00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,810
I know it well.
168
00:07:54,814 --> 00:07:59,784
And it was, "Goodbye
Cosmo..." "Hello Laurence."
169
00:08:07,761 --> 00:08:10,431
♪ It's scratchy songs
that earn you fame ♪
170
00:08:10,430 --> 00:08:13,700
Now of course, Laurence
has had the career...
171
00:08:13,699 --> 00:08:16,969
every actor would dream of having...
172
00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:20,010
unless of course,
you're Laurence Darling.
173
00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:24,707
He's recognized as a great actor.
174
00:08:24,711 --> 00:08:28,851
I'm just a simple movie star.
175
00:08:28,848 --> 00:08:32,848
And he could find
that very annoying.
176
00:08:41,794 --> 00:08:43,134
Morning.
177
00:08:43,129 --> 00:08:44,729
Morning.
178
00:09:08,154 --> 00:09:10,864
- Boys, boys, boys.
- Dad!
179
00:09:10,857 --> 00:09:14,557
It's so good to see you.
Why isn't it more often?
180
00:09:14,561 --> 00:09:16,591
Probably 'cause you never
return any of our calls.
181
00:09:16,596 --> 00:09:17,856
Dad, Dad, Dad.
182
00:09:17,865 --> 00:09:20,125
It was a rhetorical question, James.
183
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:23,033
We all have such busy lives now.
184
00:09:23,035 --> 00:09:24,795
Laurence.
185
00:09:24,804 --> 00:09:27,544
- The Lady Eve.
- How are you?
186
00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:29,511
I am grand.
187
00:09:30,977 --> 00:09:34,647
I have come to see you off again.
188
00:09:34,648 --> 00:09:37,108
Maybe we'll get it right this time.
189
00:09:37,116 --> 00:09:39,076
That's why I'm here, to make sure that...
190
00:09:39,086 --> 00:09:40,946
this one is a keeper.
191
00:09:40,953 --> 00:09:42,693
You are so thoughtful...
192
00:09:42,688 --> 00:09:45,218
as if you'd have any
idea what a keeper was.
193
00:09:45,225 --> 00:09:46,985
Laurence!
194
00:09:46,994 --> 00:09:50,304
I'm sensing a theme here.
195
00:09:50,297 --> 00:09:53,027
Are all the exes invited?
196
00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:54,973
Just the ones Mom likes.
197
00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:56,297
And they're still alive.
198
00:09:56,302 --> 00:09:59,602
Well, I'm glad I still qualify.
199
00:09:59,605 --> 00:10:01,805
Has the great man arrived?
200
00:10:01,807 --> 00:10:06,677
Not yet. His sense of timing's
even better than yours.
201
00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:08,949
Upstaged again?
202
00:10:14,754 --> 00:10:17,224
Bad girls?
203
00:10:17,224 --> 00:10:20,094
Right. Bad Girls, Bad Girls...
204
00:10:20,092 --> 00:10:22,992
Dad, come on. It was
one of her biggest hits.
205
00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:24,755
Oh yeah, got it.
206
00:10:24,764 --> 00:10:29,134
Eve steals into a prison...
an Indonesian prison...
207
00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,735
to save her daughter, who's
wrongly accused of murder.
208
00:10:31,738 --> 00:10:34,098
Okay, and, it ends?
209
00:10:34,106 --> 00:10:35,536
Oh, fuck...
210
00:10:36,777 --> 00:10:40,907
Hang on, just a minute. Oh. Yes.
211
00:10:40,913 --> 00:10:44,683
It turns out, the
daughter actually did it...
212
00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:46,754
but Eve takes her place
on the scaffold anyway.
213
00:10:46,753 --> 00:10:48,953
Actually, it's a rip-off
of Tale of Two Cities.
214
00:10:48,956 --> 00:10:50,786
Dad, I think it's very romantic...
215
00:10:50,791 --> 00:10:53,291
that you're going to all this effort.
216
00:10:53,293 --> 00:10:54,963
Thank you, Clemmie.
217
00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:59,031
Romantic? He's an absolute bloody miracle.
218
00:11:10,376 --> 00:11:13,946
♪ You're an angel
from up above ♪
219
00:11:13,947 --> 00:11:16,347
♪ Send down to give me love ♪
220
00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:17,950
Dad?
221
00:11:19,952 --> 00:11:21,622
Dad.
222
00:11:22,822 --> 00:11:24,192
I'm sorry.
223
00:11:37,837 --> 00:11:39,237
It's a big day here.
224
00:11:41,008 --> 00:11:43,708
- Waiting for Harold.
- It's a very good day.
225
00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:45,910
Harold, man. Oh.
226
00:11:45,912 --> 00:11:48,182
Mum. Mummy.
227
00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:49,711
Hey, hey, hey.
228
00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:52,346
Here they come. Here they come.
229
00:11:52,351 --> 00:11:53,821
Oh, he's goin' around the wrong way.
230
00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:59,989
All right, everyone, behave, behave.
231
00:11:59,993 --> 00:12:01,963
Our new family.
232
00:12:01,961 --> 00:12:03,161
Four.
233
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:07,700
Welcome! Welcome!
234
00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:11,168
And there's number five.
235
00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:15,836
Oh. Right!
236
00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:17,684
This is my daughter, Clemmie.
237
00:12:17,677 --> 00:12:19,307
- Hello, Clemmie...
- Hi.
238
00:12:19,312 --> 00:12:20,682
- I've heard so much about you.
- Lovely to meet you.
239
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:21,851
- My daughter, Rose.
- Hi.
240
00:12:21,847 --> 00:12:23,877
Rose, yes.
241
00:12:23,884 --> 00:12:27,454
And this is Rose's friend,
and almost third daughter...
242
00:12:27,453 --> 00:12:30,063
- Saffron.
- Hello.
243
00:12:30,057 --> 00:12:31,417
- Come meet my family.
- Yeah.
244
00:12:31,424 --> 00:12:33,064
- There's Jimmy, my oldest.
- Hey, Jimmy.
245
00:12:33,059 --> 00:12:34,159
- James.
- James.
246
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,260
- And then Rory.
- How are ya?
247
00:12:35,261 --> 00:12:36,431
- Hi, Rory.
- Ethan.
248
00:12:36,429 --> 00:12:37,829
Yeah, Ethan.
249
00:12:37,831 --> 00:12:39,261
Back there with the camera is Mackenzie.
250
00:12:39,265 --> 00:12:40,825
- Hi, Mackenzie.
- Whose mother is Priscilla...
251
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,233
- who was married to Rory.
- Priscilla.
252
00:12:42,235 --> 00:12:45,235
And here's Sam.
253
00:12:45,238 --> 00:12:48,938
You are doing...? Hi.
254
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:50,342
My daughter, Mackenzie.
255
00:12:50,342 --> 00:12:52,082
- We got Lara.
- Hi, Mackenzie.
256
00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:54,808
- Hi, Mackenzie. Nice to see you.
- Hi.
257
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,945
My nephew, Dylan, my brother's son...
258
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,921
who sadly couldn't be here.
259
00:12:59,919 --> 00:13:01,249
- And.
- You're who?
260
00:13:01,254 --> 00:13:02,454
- Dylan.
- Dylan, hi.
261
00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:06,256
And, Laurence, the father of my sons.
262
00:13:06,259 --> 00:13:08,989
And Husband Number One,
what a great pleasure.
263
00:13:08,995 --> 00:13:10,455
I am a big fan.
264
00:13:10,464 --> 00:13:13,034
The pleasure is all mine. I'm a bigger fan.
265
00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:16,026
So you guys are in here.
266
00:13:16,035 --> 00:13:17,835
Oh, thank you very much.
267
00:13:17,837 --> 00:13:19,337
According to Wikipedia...
268
00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:22,269
"Harold Alcott writes
novels about love...
269
00:13:22,274 --> 00:13:24,914
"that are tragically comedic."
270
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:28,480
Which means, he's gonna fit
right in with this family.
271
00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:29,851
I missed you.
272
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,320
Well, that's your fault.
273
00:13:31,317 --> 00:13:32,817
It's because you have
so many books to pack.
274
00:13:32,818 --> 00:13:34,248
Well, I'm a writer.
275
00:13:34,254 --> 00:13:36,094
Just as long as you have that book...
276
00:13:36,089 --> 00:13:37,759
with the pictures that we like.
277
00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,258
Oh...
278
00:13:39,259 --> 00:13:43,229
the Pompeian Bathhouses,
yeah, those saucy Romans.
279
00:13:43,230 --> 00:13:45,700
- I brought it in my hand luggage.
- Mm.
280
00:13:47,466 --> 00:13:50,936
Get out. Stop it...
281
00:13:53,072 --> 00:13:55,472
Oh.
282
00:13:55,475 --> 00:13:58,475
Did the cat get the cream?
283
00:13:58,477 --> 00:14:00,007
What cream?
284
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,213
Silver Fox.
285
00:14:01,214 --> 00:14:03,054
Major hottie... for an old guy.
286
00:14:03,048 --> 00:14:05,918
Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys.
287
00:14:05,918 --> 00:14:08,988
You make me sound so... so superficial...
288
00:14:08,989 --> 00:14:12,489
like it's all about his granted
good looks, and not about his...
289
00:14:12,491 --> 00:14:15,101
big
whoopee-doo-doo.
290
00:14:17,197 --> 00:14:19,357
Do I really have to hear this?
291
00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:21,125
Did I wanna hear about you and Priscilla...
292
00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:22,474
and the best sex of all time?
293
00:14:22,469 --> 00:14:23,829
Hey, hey, hey!
294
00:14:23,836 --> 00:14:25,536
I never said that.
295
00:14:25,538 --> 00:14:27,168
- Really?
- Really?
296
00:14:27,173 --> 00:14:30,113
Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not!
297
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,180
It wasn't the greatest sex of my life...
298
00:14:32,178 --> 00:14:34,908
it was the greatest sex of his.
299
00:14:34,914 --> 00:14:36,754
Seriously?
300
00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:43,494
Hello?
301
00:14:44,924 --> 00:14:46,394
Hello? Hi, yes.
302
00:14:46,393 --> 00:14:49,393
I'm trying to track down
an employee of yours.
303
00:14:49,395 --> 00:14:53,855
She drove the Montauk bus
yesterday that arrived at 11:45.
304
00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:55,566
Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45...
305
00:14:55,568 --> 00:14:58,268
but in point-in-fact,
it was very, very late.
306
00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:02,310
Why do I wish to contact her?
Is that any business of yours?
307
00:15:02,308 --> 00:15:05,978
I mean, I could be an estate attorney.
308
00:15:09,416 --> 00:15:12,116
So, what does marriage mean to you?
309
00:15:12,118 --> 00:15:14,588
What's your experience with that?
310
00:15:16,056 --> 00:15:20,426
Uh... well...
311
00:15:20,427 --> 00:15:23,527
my parents fighting...
people getting divorced.
312
00:15:23,529 --> 00:15:25,459
Whoa, okay.
313
00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:29,135
You're being a little bit of a
Debbie Downer here. All right?
314
00:15:33,273 --> 00:15:36,413
What about first love?
315
00:15:36,408 --> 00:15:39,438
What's your experience with that?
316
00:15:39,446 --> 00:15:41,216
First love?
317
00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,280
Let me give that some thought.
318
00:15:45,284 --> 00:15:48,054
Dylan! Dylan, I'm still filming!
319
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:54,218
Dylan.
320
00:15:54,226 --> 00:15:56,586
Girls, you know that crazy,
warm sensation you get...
321
00:15:56,596 --> 00:16:00,026
when you cross your legs
and squeeze really tight?
322
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:01,433
Well, the first time I had that...
323
00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:05,203
the weirdo in me was thinking about Dylan.
324
00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:07,595
But, what would, of course,
get tongues wagging...
325
00:16:07,606 --> 00:16:13,206
around these parts is
that, Dylan and I are...
326
00:16:13,212 --> 00:16:15,512
technically first cousins.
327
00:16:15,514 --> 00:16:17,384
But first cousins once-removed.
328
00:16:17,384 --> 00:16:20,484
So, there's like a 3% chance
our kids would have like...
329
00:16:20,486 --> 00:16:22,286
15 fingers and three eyes.
330
00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:30,989
Okay, the first love
question was a bit leading...
331
00:16:30,996 --> 00:16:33,456
as Dylan and I have already kissed.
332
00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:38,036
But, it was last summer and
I haven't even seen him since.
333
00:16:39,505 --> 00:16:42,475
Anyway, it raises that age-old question.
334
00:16:44,076 --> 00:16:47,236
You know, can you ever go back?
335
00:16:47,246 --> 00:16:49,076
That's exactly what I was thinking.
336
00:16:49,081 --> 00:16:51,111
Though, I think maybe a couple more here...
337
00:16:51,116 --> 00:16:52,576
possibly another hydrangea?
338
00:16:52,585 --> 00:16:54,585
I think that'd be very nice.
339
00:16:56,655 --> 00:16:59,715
The last thing I would call
either of us is selfish.
340
00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:03,185
In fact, the term "generous
to a fault" springs to mind.
341
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:07,066
But in this instance, I
suggest we put it to the vote...
342
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:10,697
to keep our one solitary
decanter of liquid nectar...
343
00:17:10,703 --> 00:17:14,243
a secret from the "vin
ordinaire" drinkers...
344
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:18,510
and rendezvous back here après le diner.
345
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:21,310
I second that motion and say, "Aye."
346
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:23,084
"Aye."
347
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,393
Harold and I will meet you back here.
348
00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:30,617
Yes, Harold.
349
00:17:30,623 --> 00:17:33,093
He's a fine wine man, is he?
350
00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:53,551
♪ Money pay me om om ♪
351
00:18:00,452 --> 00:18:04,292
♪ Om om ♪
352
00:18:04,289 --> 00:18:09,729
♪ Money pay me om om ♪
353
00:18:14,299 --> 00:18:17,499
♪ I don't wanna fuckin'
talk to you asshole ♪
354
00:18:17,503 --> 00:18:22,243
♪ Fuck you om om ♪
355
00:18:40,426 --> 00:18:41,456
Hey.
356
00:18:42,628 --> 00:18:44,028
Hey.
357
00:19:19,598 --> 00:19:21,728
Ciao.
358
00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:23,773
Sorry, Grandma.
359
00:19:23,769 --> 00:19:25,699
It will probably surprise you...
360
00:19:25,704 --> 00:19:27,844
to learn that Ethan
speaks five languages...
361
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,540
Portuguese among them.
362
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:31,681
So, he understood every word...
363
00:19:31,678 --> 00:19:34,508
of Saffron's phone call
to her quote "Grandma"...
364
00:19:34,513 --> 00:19:37,383
and explains the grin
she was referring to.
365
00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,123
How 'bout we go on a little ride?
366
00:19:39,118 --> 00:19:42,188
I got some delicious
magic mushroom chocolates.
367
00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:43,418
You up for it?
368
00:19:43,423 --> 00:19:45,763
Mm, very naughty.
369
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,500
Half will get ya really high, easy.
370
00:19:58,738 --> 00:20:00,408
- Here.
- Mm.
371
00:20:05,478 --> 00:20:06,508
Ah!
372
00:20:14,753 --> 00:20:15,763
Whoo!
373
00:20:40,547 --> 00:20:42,407
To you.
374
00:20:42,414 --> 00:20:43,784
Cheers.
375
00:20:50,690 --> 00:20:54,230
Mm... ah.
376
00:20:56,863 --> 00:21:00,803
So, how's it going with the young actress?
377
00:21:00,799 --> 00:21:04,669
Young is a relative term, she's 36.
378
00:21:04,671 --> 00:21:07,901
She went back to her boyfriend,
at my suggestion, of course.
379
00:21:07,906 --> 00:21:10,806
They're getting married. Must be catching.
380
00:21:10,809 --> 00:21:13,309
I'll probably be at that wedding, as well.
381
00:21:16,481 --> 00:21:18,481
Ah, so that leaves a position to be filled.
382
00:21:19,786 --> 00:21:21,486
Hm.
383
00:21:22,788 --> 00:21:24,688
Already filled.
384
00:21:24,691 --> 00:21:29,831
So, tell me, am I giving
you away for good this time?
385
00:21:29,828 --> 00:21:32,398
Harold is an extraordinary man.
386
00:21:32,397 --> 00:21:36,297
That he is, but will he
understand your way of thinking?
387
00:21:36,301 --> 00:21:38,541
I don't think that way anymore.
388
00:21:38,538 --> 00:21:43,338
Fame, success, the flattery...
389
00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:44,713
I'll leave it all to you.
390
00:21:44,711 --> 00:21:47,841
Thank you. I'll take it.
391
00:21:47,846 --> 00:21:49,776
That's very generous of you.
392
00:21:53,486 --> 00:21:55,386
Eve didn't tell you I was coming, huh?
393
00:21:55,387 --> 00:21:57,287
Oh, I wonder why.
394
00:21:57,289 --> 00:21:59,789
Well, maybe she thought
you'd have a problem with it.
395
00:21:59,791 --> 00:22:00,921
- Oh, hey!
- What's up, guys?
396
00:22:00,926 --> 00:22:03,356
- Hey.
- Wear less!
397
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,503
Okay, that happened.
398
00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:06,898
Look.
399
00:22:06,898 --> 00:22:09,268
A rock 'n roll tour is not a place...
400
00:22:09,269 --> 00:22:11,039
for a 16 year old girl, come on.
401
00:22:11,037 --> 00:22:12,367
Well, why don't you come?
402
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:13,642
Oh, sure.
403
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,340
What, now that Sebastian
is no longer needed?
404
00:22:16,342 --> 00:22:17,442
Sure.
405
00:22:17,442 --> 00:22:18,842
- Oh, honey.
- What?
406
00:22:18,845 --> 00:22:21,845
- I think I'd rather be dead.
- Shit.
407
00:22:21,847 --> 00:22:23,817
- Okay, good night.
- Okay, good night.
408
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:13,330
All right, now who's shaggable?
409
00:23:13,333 --> 00:23:17,573
I don't know, I can't decide between the...
410
00:23:17,569 --> 00:23:19,709
beautiful 17 year old boy...
411
00:23:22,909 --> 00:23:26,709
Saff! Or, the naughty
30-something year old...
412
00:23:26,712 --> 00:23:28,652
that you were tarting
around with last night.
413
00:23:29,949 --> 00:23:32,519
He's much more up your alley.
414
00:23:32,518 --> 00:23:33,488
- Right.
- He's all yours.
415
00:23:34,619 --> 00:23:36,119
How 'bout you, Clem?
416
00:23:36,122 --> 00:23:40,092
Why would I tell you,
Tweedleslap and Tweedleslapper?
417
00:23:40,093 --> 00:23:42,503
- Oh my god!
- Come on, Clem!
418
00:23:46,465 --> 00:23:47,655
Dad.
419
00:23:47,666 --> 00:23:49,126
Yeah?
420
00:23:49,134 --> 00:23:52,974
Eve's one and only
Golden Globe was for, A...
421
00:23:52,971 --> 00:23:57,511
Loves of a Blonde, or B, Blonde Love?
422
00:23:58,911 --> 00:24:01,611
Uh, Loves of a Blonde.
423
00:24:01,614 --> 00:24:06,484
Wrong. It was actually for Blind Lover.
424
00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:09,486
That's a trick question. That's not fair.
425
00:24:13,459 --> 00:24:14,919
An early wedding present.
426
00:24:14,926 --> 00:24:16,386
What is it?
427
00:24:16,395 --> 00:24:17,955
I got sent this the other day...
428
00:24:17,963 --> 00:24:20,463
and they want the two of us to
be in it playing mother and son.
429
00:24:20,465 --> 00:24:22,765
Oh, that's imaginative casting.
430
00:24:22,769 --> 00:24:23,969
It's actually a really good script.
431
00:24:23,970 --> 00:24:25,740
You should think about doing it.
432
00:24:25,738 --> 00:24:27,468
I'm in a wheelchair, you
end up in a wheelchair.
433
00:24:27,472 --> 00:24:29,772
Last scene is the two of
us dancing in wheelchairs.
434
00:24:29,776 --> 00:24:31,406
Lot of crying scenes.
435
00:24:31,411 --> 00:24:33,781
Really? I'm retired. You do it.
436
00:24:33,779 --> 00:24:36,979
- It's a both-or-nothing deal.
- Oh.
437
00:24:36,982 --> 00:24:39,582
- Will you at least read it?
- Oh, honey.
438
00:24:39,585 --> 00:24:42,785
Come on, on your honeymoon.
Gotta get out of bed sometime.
439
00:24:42,788 --> 00:24:44,558
- Bow-chicka-wawa.
- Oh, that is so bad.
440
00:24:44,557 --> 00:24:46,487
You are my son!
441
00:24:46,491 --> 00:24:48,461
- Where're you guys going?
- Venice.
442
00:24:48,461 --> 00:24:49,591
That's original.
443
00:24:49,595 --> 00:24:51,025
Well, it was Harold's idea.
444
00:24:51,029 --> 00:24:53,759
I didn't wanna start
off as a difficult wife.
445
00:24:53,766 --> 00:24:55,126
Then don't be a difficult mother.
446
00:25:02,508 --> 00:25:05,578
Okay. Eve and Harold's
wedding song, take one.
447
00:25:23,496 --> 00:25:26,956
♪ Bet the house bet the
farm Fourth time is a charm ♪
448
00:25:26,965 --> 00:25:30,565
♪ It's amazing what
a book tour can do ♪
449
00:25:30,569 --> 00:25:34,039
♪ He's tall debonair And
he's still got his hair ♪
450
00:25:34,039 --> 00:25:37,609
♪ Coolest couple in Vanity Fair ♪
451
00:25:37,609 --> 00:25:40,009
♪ Six weeks is all it took ♪
452
00:25:40,011 --> 00:25:43,981
♪ Two books and the sales are strong ♪
453
00:25:43,982 --> 00:25:46,722
♪ You know you can never go wrong ♪
454
00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:50,019
♪ When love comes along
You never go wrong ♪
455
00:25:50,021 --> 00:25:55,531
♪ When love comes along ♪
456
00:25:55,528 --> 00:26:01,628
♪ You never go wrong
When love comes along ♪
457
00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:09,780
♪ You never go wrong
When love comes along ♪
458
00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:24,922
I think it's very adult of
you to be this civilized.
459
00:26:24,923 --> 00:26:26,563
I mean, not everyone...
460
00:26:26,558 --> 00:26:28,988
would have their
ex-husband at their wedding.
461
00:26:28,994 --> 00:26:30,764
My mum would turn into The Exorcist...
462
00:26:30,762 --> 00:26:32,262
if Dad showed up at her wedding.
463
00:26:32,265 --> 00:26:33,955
Oh, god.
464
00:26:33,965 --> 00:26:36,995
Projectile green vomit.
Head 360. The whole thing.
465
00:26:37,002 --> 00:26:39,102
She still really hates him.
466
00:26:39,105 --> 00:26:41,205
Dare one ask why?
467
00:26:41,207 --> 00:26:45,107
Oh, well, as Dorothy Parker once said...
468
00:26:45,111 --> 00:26:47,781
"Hogamous, Higamous, Man is polygamous..."
469
00:26:47,779 --> 00:26:50,119
"Higamous, Hogamous, Woman is monogamous."
470
00:26:53,786 --> 00:26:56,116
I doubt Dorothy Parker actually said that.
471
00:26:56,122 --> 00:26:58,662
Yes, it has a man's
fingerprints all over it.
472
00:26:58,657 --> 00:27:01,787
Yes, it sounds suspiciously self-serving.
473
00:27:01,794 --> 00:27:03,764
You know, if it helps
explain anything, Rose...
474
00:27:03,762 --> 00:27:07,572
Mom and Dad here were like
the poster couple for divorce.
475
00:27:07,567 --> 00:27:09,597
Yeah, they gave each other divorce gifts.
476
00:27:09,602 --> 00:27:11,672
Really? What?
477
00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:12,971
Oh, I've forgotten.
478
00:27:12,971 --> 00:27:14,771
Me, too.
479
00:27:14,773 --> 00:27:16,943
Actually, one time, Mom took the
three of us out of the country...
480
00:27:16,942 --> 00:27:19,282
for a vacation and she
didn't get Dad's permission.
481
00:27:19,278 --> 00:27:22,048
Dad waited patiently until
we got back, and then...
482
00:27:22,048 --> 00:27:25,178
had Mom arrested at the airport
and put in prison for the night.
483
00:27:25,183 --> 00:27:26,723
What a guy.
484
00:27:26,719 --> 00:27:28,349
Character-building.
485
00:27:28,354 --> 00:27:30,094
And when Dad came back after
having been away working...
486
00:27:30,088 --> 00:27:31,758
for three months...
487
00:27:31,757 --> 00:27:33,957
he found that Mom had completely
redecorated the suite...
488
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,230
and put it on the bill.
489
00:27:35,227 --> 00:27:37,727
Yes, it was much more cheerful.
490
00:27:56,715 --> 00:27:57,715
Hello, there!
491
00:28:03,990 --> 00:28:05,920
Hey! Ole!
492
00:28:05,924 --> 00:28:07,694
My best man!
493
00:28:17,103 --> 00:28:19,773
I just think we have to
make at least one attempt...
494
00:28:19,771 --> 00:28:22,741
to get Mom to do a prenup.
495
00:28:22,741 --> 00:28:25,741
I don't know. She's done
quite well for herself, so far.
496
00:28:25,744 --> 00:28:29,214
Yeah, but so far, all of
her husbands have had money.
497
00:28:29,214 --> 00:28:30,714
Except for you.
498
00:28:30,715 --> 00:28:32,015
- 'Course.
- Yeah.
499
00:28:43,663 --> 00:28:46,703
So what does true love mean to you, Mother?
500
00:28:46,699 --> 00:28:48,699
True love?
501
00:28:48,701 --> 00:28:50,771
Um...
502
00:28:50,769 --> 00:28:56,069
Well, you know, if at first you
don't succeed, try, try again.
503
00:28:56,075 --> 00:28:58,735
Which is what I keep saying
about those songs, Mom.
504
00:28:58,743 --> 00:29:01,253
- What songs?
- Your new ones.
505
00:29:01,247 --> 00:29:03,077
What do you know, anyway?
506
00:29:03,082 --> 00:29:05,192
You sing along with Les Mis.
507
00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:12,727
Mommy is a rock goddess.
Mommy is a rock goddess.
508
00:29:18,830 --> 00:29:22,200
A couple of my novels that
were turned into films...
509
00:29:22,201 --> 00:29:26,141
sent me to bed with a bottle of scotch.
510
00:29:26,137 --> 00:29:30,207
Oh, well, that's where the films
I'm usually in these days...
511
00:29:30,209 --> 00:29:32,009
always send me.
512
00:29:32,010 --> 00:29:34,340
And why I'm in graceful retirement.
513
00:29:34,346 --> 00:29:37,476
Yeah. But that is such a pity, Eve.
514
00:29:37,482 --> 00:29:39,722
You played some great roles.
515
00:29:39,719 --> 00:29:41,289
Has she... she has.
516
00:29:41,287 --> 00:29:43,117
Harold has seen all my work.
517
00:29:45,758 --> 00:29:48,058
You've seen all of Eve's films?
518
00:29:48,059 --> 00:29:49,189
Yeah.
519
00:29:49,194 --> 00:29:50,834
Seriously?
520
00:29:50,829 --> 00:29:53,859
Uh, well you know, nearly all.
521
00:29:53,865 --> 00:29:58,195
And which performance
do you treasure the most?
522
00:30:00,472 --> 00:30:03,842
Well, I'd have to say...
523
00:30:03,843 --> 00:30:06,243
it was the first time I saw you on screen.
524
00:30:06,244 --> 00:30:09,884
You were playing a waitress in a diner...
525
00:30:09,882 --> 00:30:12,022
who kept getting the orders wrong.
526
00:30:12,017 --> 00:30:15,917
And you nearly killed this
poor guy who had a nut allergy.
527
00:30:15,921 --> 00:30:18,291
It was hilarious.
528
00:30:18,289 --> 00:30:22,259
Available Man. Laurence got me that part.
529
00:30:22,260 --> 00:30:28,200
Yes, I also played the
guy with the nut allergy.
530
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,930
Though, that wasn't Eve's
first leading role...
531
00:30:30,935 --> 00:30:34,135
it was meant to be, anyways, supporting.
532
00:30:34,140 --> 00:30:36,110
Well obviously, yes.
533
00:30:36,107 --> 00:30:40,877
Um, in a leading role,
I would have to say...
534
00:30:43,281 --> 00:30:46,421
Bad Girls was very moving.
535
00:30:46,417 --> 00:30:52,287
Hm... hm... hm.
536
00:30:55,059 --> 00:30:56,389
Mm.
537
00:30:56,394 --> 00:30:58,004
Look, it doesn't have to be perfect.
538
00:30:57,997 --> 00:30:59,457
Just, can you get a
prenup here by tomorrow?
539
00:30:59,464 --> 00:31:02,504
Dance party!
540
00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:04,170
Here we go.
541
00:31:04,170 --> 00:31:05,210
Taking us down the road. Let's do it.
542
00:31:11,442 --> 00:31:13,752
Step, and down.
543
00:31:18,284 --> 00:31:19,394
Okay.
544
00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:23,250
Step, step, clap, clap.
545
00:31:23,255 --> 00:31:24,885
Work it, girl. Work it!
546
00:31:26,959 --> 00:31:28,389
Here we go. Here we go.
547
00:31:28,394 --> 00:31:31,034
- Oh, come on. You can get this!
- H'yah! Fuck off!
548
00:31:31,029 --> 00:31:32,969
- These are our tarts!
- Get outta here.
549
00:31:35,334 --> 00:31:36,774
Okay. Again.
550
00:31:41,606 --> 00:31:44,406
Do you really think
he's seen all your films?
551
00:31:44,410 --> 00:31:46,210
Of course not...
552
00:31:46,211 --> 00:31:48,911
but I think it's sweet
that he pretends he has.
553
00:31:48,913 --> 00:31:50,353
And you never miss it?
554
00:31:50,348 --> 00:31:52,088
Oh, god, no.
555
00:31:54,854 --> 00:31:57,524
We always did it for different reasons.
556
00:31:57,522 --> 00:31:59,292
We did?
557
00:31:59,290 --> 00:32:01,360
Yeah. You did it...
558
00:32:01,359 --> 00:32:03,589
well, you still do it for the work...
559
00:32:03,596 --> 00:32:05,356
for the challenge of the work...
560
00:32:05,364 --> 00:32:08,604
for the absences the work affords.
561
00:32:08,601 --> 00:32:11,031
I always thought of the family
as integral to my work...
562
00:32:11,036 --> 00:32:13,366
and you thought of it as
detrimental to your work.
563
00:32:13,372 --> 00:32:14,972
Did I?
564
00:32:14,973 --> 00:32:17,043
Well speaking about
mixing family and work...
565
00:32:17,041 --> 00:32:20,141
Ethan has this movie he
wants me to act in with him.
566
00:32:20,144 --> 00:32:22,884
Good part?
567
00:32:22,882 --> 00:32:25,052
A mother in a wheelchair, apparently.
568
00:32:27,385 --> 00:32:31,385
Do you think it could be changed
to a father in a wheelchair?
569
00:32:31,390 --> 00:32:35,930
Possible Oscar bait.
"He walks away with it."
570
00:32:35,928 --> 00:32:38,458
"I'm supporting."
571
00:32:38,463 --> 00:32:41,163
"I'm supporting."
572
00:32:41,165 --> 00:32:46,105
"We start out supporting
and we end up supporting."
573
00:33:12,564 --> 00:33:15,134
- Hi.
- Hola.
574
00:33:19,070 --> 00:33:20,970
My sister wants to know
where Harry Potter is.
575
00:33:20,972 --> 00:33:22,212
Who?
576
00:33:24,175 --> 00:33:26,075
That's Dylan.
577
00:33:26,077 --> 00:33:28,547
He's your boyfriend?
578
00:33:28,547 --> 00:33:30,417
He's my cousin.
579
00:33:36,989 --> 00:33:38,519
My sister says, "Oh, good."
580
00:33:38,523 --> 00:33:39,523
Good?
581
00:33:42,260 --> 00:33:44,590
Um, he's actually my first cousin...
582
00:33:44,596 --> 00:33:46,526
He's my first cousin once removed.
583
00:34:05,416 --> 00:34:08,046
- Hola.
- Hi.
584
00:34:08,052 --> 00:34:09,392
Como estas?
585
00:34:09,387 --> 00:34:10,547
Uh, I'm good.
586
00:34:10,556 --> 00:34:12,086
So, how old are you?
587
00:34:17,628 --> 00:34:19,728
Okay.
588
00:34:26,038 --> 00:34:27,498
Do you need some help?
589
00:34:27,505 --> 00:34:30,005
Sure.
590
00:34:30,009 --> 00:34:32,139
But first, I have to confess something.
591
00:34:32,143 --> 00:34:34,413
Okay.
592
00:34:34,413 --> 00:34:36,383
I had my first serious snog to...
593
00:34:36,382 --> 00:34:38,752
Up All Night In The Diner With Julie.
594
00:34:38,751 --> 00:34:40,181
"Snog."
595
00:34:40,184 --> 00:34:43,094
That's English for, "make out", right?
596
00:34:43,088 --> 00:34:45,318
Yes, but with lots and lots of tongue.
597
00:34:45,324 --> 00:34:49,794
All right, well, that was
a great choice to snog to.
598
00:34:49,795 --> 00:34:51,125
It was amazing.
599
00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:53,030
I'm glad to hear it.
600
00:34:53,032 --> 00:34:56,572
So, being a bit of a fan,
can I ask you three questions?
601
00:34:56,568 --> 00:34:59,638
All right. Go for it.
602
00:34:59,637 --> 00:35:02,007
Why did you stop writing?
603
00:35:05,643 --> 00:35:08,813
Who said I stopped?
604
00:35:08,813 --> 00:35:12,083
Right. Okay.
605
00:35:12,083 --> 00:35:14,083
Why did you leave your band?
606
00:35:14,085 --> 00:35:16,215
Oh, it was never really my band.
607
00:35:16,221 --> 00:35:17,521
It was our band.
608
00:35:17,523 --> 00:35:19,193
But, you know, you got a lead singer...
609
00:35:19,190 --> 00:35:20,560
with a huge personality.
610
00:35:20,559 --> 00:35:22,559
It was always gonna be her band in the end.
611
00:35:22,561 --> 00:35:23,791
I mean, rightly so.
612
00:35:23,795 --> 00:35:25,255
And is that why you left?
613
00:35:27,398 --> 00:35:28,568
No, honestly, I...
614
00:35:30,668 --> 00:35:33,368
You know that whole rock
'n roll lifestyle thing...
615
00:35:33,371 --> 00:35:37,311
it just wasn't that important.
616
00:35:38,443 --> 00:35:40,343
No fame or money?
617
00:35:40,344 --> 00:35:45,054
No, it's not everything. I mean,
I figured that out pretty early.
618
00:35:47,585 --> 00:35:51,115
Okay, I have two questions.
619
00:35:51,123 --> 00:35:54,123
- Oh, really?
- Yes, I do.
620
00:35:54,126 --> 00:35:56,156
What is an Orange Prize?
621
00:35:56,161 --> 00:36:00,161
- Oh my god, you googled me!
- No, please.
622
00:36:00,164 --> 00:36:02,874
No, Eve told me one of Harold's
daughters was a novelist...
623
00:36:02,867 --> 00:36:05,567
and it's obviously not Rose.
624
00:36:05,570 --> 00:36:08,670
She said the Orange Prize had been won.
625
00:36:08,673 --> 00:36:11,143
An Orange Prize is an award...
626
00:36:11,143 --> 00:36:12,813
they give to first-time female authors...
627
00:36:12,811 --> 00:36:16,151
and I didn't win, I was shortlisted.
628
00:36:16,148 --> 00:36:19,378
Congratulations. Was it autobiographical?
629
00:36:19,384 --> 00:36:20,684
Why do you ask that?
630
00:36:20,686 --> 00:36:24,686
Oh, come on, it's about an older sister...
631
00:36:24,690 --> 00:36:27,420
who's kind of attractive
in a bookish kind of way...
632
00:36:27,425 --> 00:36:29,755
who lives with her hipster,
skirt-chasing dad and...
633
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,290
wild-child, younger sister...
634
00:36:31,295 --> 00:36:33,825
and they all live on red wine and pizza?
635
00:36:33,831 --> 00:36:35,161
You read it.
636
00:36:35,166 --> 00:36:36,466
Sure.
637
00:36:36,467 --> 00:36:39,137
Gotta check up on my new step family.
638
00:36:39,137 --> 00:36:42,197
Some of it was me, yeah,
but most of it wasn't.
639
00:36:42,206 --> 00:36:44,366
I can't actually cook a Chicken Kiev.
640
00:36:44,376 --> 00:36:45,636
Not a problem.
641
00:36:45,643 --> 00:36:47,243
But I do like books.
642
00:36:47,246 --> 00:36:48,246
Obviously.
643
00:36:50,315 --> 00:36:52,815
Do you know, I would prefer if
you referred to me as kind of...
644
00:36:52,818 --> 00:36:55,388
sexy in a librarian
way, rather than bookish.
645
00:36:55,387 --> 00:36:56,647
Oh, you would prefer that, would you?
646
00:36:56,655 --> 00:36:57,785
- Yes.
- Well, you need glasses for...
647
00:36:57,789 --> 00:36:59,259
"sexy librarian."
648
00:37:12,204 --> 00:37:14,374
Soul patch.
649
00:37:16,208 --> 00:37:18,538
"Such duty as the subject
owes the prince,"...
650
00:37:18,543 --> 00:37:20,843
"Even such a woman
oweth to her husband;"...
651
00:37:20,846 --> 00:37:24,346
"And if she is froward, peevish, sullen..."
652
00:37:24,349 --> 00:37:27,579
"sour and not obedient
to his honest will..."
653
00:37:27,585 --> 00:37:30,515
"What is she but a foul
contending rebel..."
654
00:37:30,521 --> 00:37:34,191
"And graceless traitor to her loving lord?"
655
00:37:36,327 --> 00:37:38,597
I'm not just a fuckin' movie star.
656
00:37:40,731 --> 00:37:44,471
Yeah, it's Priscilla for
Guy. No, I don't wanna hold.
657
00:37:44,469 --> 00:37:45,939
I don't wanna hold, I don't wanna hold!
658
00:37:45,938 --> 00:37:48,308
Yeah. I wanna write a book.
659
00:37:50,775 --> 00:37:52,135
About me!
660
00:37:57,248 --> 00:37:59,418
You've never seen any of my films?
661
00:37:59,418 --> 00:38:00,878
I don't think so.
662
00:38:00,885 --> 00:38:03,315
Do you go to the theater?
663
00:38:03,322 --> 00:38:05,522
- What?
- Not if we can help it.
664
00:38:05,523 --> 00:38:09,263
Wait, hang on. Were you in
the last Sponge Bob film?
665
00:38:09,260 --> 00:38:10,730
I was, indeed.
666
00:38:10,728 --> 00:38:12,728
Oh my god! I love Sponge Bob!
667
00:38:12,731 --> 00:38:14,001
Oh, yeah?
668
00:38:13,998 --> 00:38:15,968
You actually used to
be quite good-looking.
669
00:38:15,967 --> 00:38:17,527
Put on some weight, though.
670
00:38:17,536 --> 00:38:18,766
Come on, Saffie, let's get a drinky.
671
00:38:18,769 --> 00:38:21,799
Actually, I've lost weight.
672
00:38:21,806 --> 00:38:23,236
What'd I miss?
673
00:38:23,242 --> 00:38:25,612
My whole career, apparently.
674
00:38:25,610 --> 00:38:27,410
- That's it. I'm moving out.
- What?
675
00:38:27,411 --> 00:38:28,911
You're killing me with
the secondhand smoke...
676
00:38:28,914 --> 00:38:30,454
and you don't even care.
677
00:38:30,449 --> 00:38:33,619
I do care! But you're not dead yet.
678
00:38:33,619 --> 00:38:37,789
Go, go over there and
have the fresh air. Go on.
679
00:38:37,789 --> 00:38:40,289
$50 says Dad brings up his Tony at dinner.
680
00:38:40,291 --> 00:38:41,891
No way. $50 it's before the main course.
681
00:38:41,893 --> 00:38:43,533
$100 it's before the salad...
682
00:38:43,527 --> 00:38:45,557
and he got it for Pirandello's Henry IV.
683
00:38:45,563 --> 00:38:47,603
- That's bold.
- Watch and learn.
684
00:38:47,599 --> 00:38:49,899
- I'll take desert.
- All right, man.
685
00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:53,600
So wait-wait-wait, you guys
met in a jailhouse, for women?
686
00:38:53,605 --> 00:38:55,505
Yeah, it's actually a really
good way to meet people.
687
00:38:55,507 --> 00:38:56,467
Here we go, here we go.
688
00:38:58,777 --> 00:39:02,407
I, for one, would like to commend Eve...
689
00:39:02,414 --> 00:39:06,784
on her optimism and her perseverance...
690
00:39:06,784 --> 00:39:09,254
- and of course, her courage...
- Yeah.
691
00:39:11,056 --> 00:39:14,916
...in taking this plunge yet again.
692
00:39:14,925 --> 00:39:17,485
- Brave girl.
- I must say, I was surprised.
693
00:39:17,496 --> 00:39:21,496
In fact, I would have
wagered my Tony Award...
694
00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:22,800
for my performance...
695
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,600
- in Pirandello's Henry IV...
- Bastard.
696
00:39:26,605 --> 00:39:28,565
against the idea that you would ever...
697
00:39:28,572 --> 00:39:32,342
tread down this path again, my darling.
698
00:39:32,344 --> 00:39:36,054
But having met Harold, I think I get it.
699
00:39:36,047 --> 00:39:38,347
To Eve and Harold.
700
00:39:38,349 --> 00:39:40,079
To Eve and Harold.
701
00:39:40,085 --> 00:39:41,515
- Salut.
- Salut.
702
00:39:41,519 --> 00:39:42,759
Here you go.
703
00:39:47,858 --> 00:39:50,988
So, lovebirds, hey...
704
00:39:50,996 --> 00:39:55,826
I know it's customary to give
the gifts after the wedding...
705
00:39:55,833 --> 00:39:58,603
but I really wanna give you my gift now.
706
00:39:58,603 --> 00:39:59,843
- Right now.
- Sure.
707
00:39:59,838 --> 00:40:03,438
- Love it.
- Cheers.
708
00:40:03,442 --> 00:40:08,882
♪ Hey little sister
what have you done ♪
709
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:14,780
♪ Hey little sister
who's the only one ♪
710
00:40:14,786 --> 00:40:17,846
♪ Hey little sister
who's your superman ♪
711
00:40:17,856 --> 00:40:20,716
♪ Little sister who's
the one you want ♪
712
00:40:20,726 --> 00:40:22,726
♪ Little sister shotgun ♪
713
00:40:22,728 --> 00:40:27,858
♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪
714
00:40:27,865 --> 00:40:29,995
Woo!
715
00:40:38,643 --> 00:40:41,953
♪ Hey little sister
who's it you're with ♪
716
00:40:44,148 --> 00:40:48,388
♪ Hey little sister
what's your vice or wish ♪
717
00:40:49,820 --> 00:40:52,890
♪ Hey little sister shotgun oh yeah ♪
718
00:40:52,891 --> 00:40:55,761
♪ Little sister who's your superman ♪
719
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,430
♪ Little sister shotgun ♪
720
00:40:57,429 --> 00:41:00,999
♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪
721
00:41:00,998 --> 00:41:03,168
Woo!
722
00:41:03,168 --> 00:41:06,598
♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪
723
00:41:06,605 --> 00:41:08,905
Wow!
724
00:41:08,907 --> 00:41:13,847
♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪
725
00:41:23,155 --> 00:41:24,585
- ♪ Hey little sister ♪
- That's your daughter.
726
00:41:24,588 --> 00:41:28,958
♪ What have you done ♪
727
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:34,200
♪ Hey little sister
who's the only one ♪
728
00:41:34,199 --> 00:41:37,099
♪ I've been away for so long ♪
729
00:41:37,101 --> 00:41:39,941
♪ I let you go for so so long now ♪
730
00:41:39,938 --> 00:41:41,938
♪ Hey little sister shot gun ♪
731
00:41:41,940 --> 00:41:44,810
♪ It's a nice day to ♪
732
00:41:44,809 --> 00:41:47,939
- Care to dance?
- ♪ Start again ♪
733
00:41:47,945 --> 00:41:52,005
♪ Oh it's a nice day
for a Wilde Wedding ♪
734
00:41:52,016 --> 00:41:53,616
Fuck off.
735
00:41:53,617 --> 00:41:58,557
♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪
736
00:42:04,195 --> 00:42:05,985
Hello, this is James Darling.
737
00:42:05,996 --> 00:42:08,226
I called yesterday trying to
track down the young lady...
738
00:42:08,233 --> 00:42:13,073
who drove the Montauk bus,
that did not arrive at 11:45.
739
00:42:13,070 --> 00:42:16,010
And you asked me why I
wanted to contact her.
740
00:42:16,007 --> 00:42:19,607
And, well, the reason is...
741
00:42:19,610 --> 00:42:21,850
when I saw her...
742
00:42:21,847 --> 00:42:24,907
in her not-very-flattering
jitney uniform, by the way...
743
00:42:24,916 --> 00:42:30,486
when I saw her, the little
voice in my head said...
744
00:42:30,489 --> 00:42:32,889
"This is the one..."
745
00:42:32,891 --> 00:42:34,521
Fuck!
746
00:42:34,525 --> 00:42:37,125
- Easy, man. I'm not a horse.
- What happened?
747
00:42:37,128 --> 00:42:39,628
- Gentle.
- Jimmy?
748
00:42:39,630 --> 00:42:41,060
Jimmy?
749
00:42:41,065 --> 00:42:43,565
Oh.
750
00:42:43,568 --> 00:42:46,808
I fucking tripped over
the "Beware of Slope" sign.
751
00:42:50,876 --> 00:42:53,536
- Oh my god, that is too funny.
- All right, Mom.
752
00:42:53,545 --> 00:42:55,875
It's just a grade-one ankle sprain.
753
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,950
There's no sign of anterior
talofibular disruption.
754
00:42:59,951 --> 00:43:01,991
Really, that's your professional diagnosis?
755
00:43:01,987 --> 00:43:03,717
It is, indeed, James.
756
00:43:03,722 --> 00:43:08,192
One of the great things
about acting on the stage...
757
00:43:08,193 --> 00:43:11,163
is that one gets to inhabit a role.
758
00:43:11,161 --> 00:43:13,231
And you might be aware...
759
00:43:13,231 --> 00:43:17,571
that I have rather
famously played a doctor.
760
00:43:17,568 --> 00:43:19,268
Doctor Doolittle?
761
00:43:19,271 --> 00:43:21,241
And your point is?
762
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:25,039
You bandaged the leg of an
animatronic giraffe, singing...
763
00:43:25,043 --> 00:43:26,983
"If I could talk to the animals"?
764
00:43:26,978 --> 00:43:30,308
And I was complimented on my technique...
765
00:43:30,315 --> 00:43:33,515
- by numerous physicians.
- Bravo.
766
00:43:36,054 --> 00:43:39,724
Actually, I would like to
compliment you, Laurence...
767
00:43:39,724 --> 00:43:42,894
on your very gracious toast.
768
00:43:42,893 --> 00:43:44,933
I meant every word I said.
769
00:43:44,929 --> 00:43:50,069
You are amazingly courageous,
amazingly tenacious...
770
00:43:50,068 --> 00:43:54,568
and amazingly naive.
771
00:43:54,572 --> 00:43:56,172
Said the ol' cynic.
772
00:43:56,173 --> 00:43:58,273
Come on, Laurence, what are
you still holding out for?
773
00:43:58,275 --> 00:43:59,735
I'm not holding out.
774
00:43:59,744 --> 00:44:03,354
I like my birdcage empty, thank you.
775
00:44:03,347 --> 00:44:08,077
Anyway, why would I want
a new wife and new family...
776
00:44:08,085 --> 00:44:11,585
when I already have the best ex-wife...
777
00:44:11,590 --> 00:44:14,960
and raised the most perfect
family any man could want?
778
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,590
Oh my god, Dad...
779
00:44:16,594 --> 00:44:19,164
you have lived in a hotel
suite for the last 30 years.
780
00:44:19,164 --> 00:44:20,964
With one fucking bedroom.
781
00:44:20,965 --> 00:44:23,025
When we wanted to see
you, we had to check in.
782
00:44:26,972 --> 00:44:30,112
I think marriage is
challenging, formidable...
783
00:44:30,108 --> 00:44:34,238
and to be taken very seriously...
784
00:44:34,244 --> 00:44:37,754
like a great heroic adventure.
785
00:44:37,748 --> 00:44:41,048
Captain Scott heading
off into the Antarctic.
786
00:44:41,052 --> 00:44:43,022
Does that make me the South Pole?
787
00:44:44,989 --> 00:44:48,329
Where I would be very
happy to plant my flag.
788
00:45:06,143 --> 00:45:07,913
Yeah!
789
00:45:20,224 --> 00:45:21,834
Look at this one!
790
00:45:37,041 --> 00:45:38,181
See ya.
791
00:45:43,748 --> 00:45:46,978
You did remember the birdcage.
792
00:45:46,985 --> 00:45:50,315
How could I forget, the
best piece of advice...
793
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,950
an ex-wife ever gave to a man?
794
00:45:52,956 --> 00:45:54,286
"You can't lock me up."
795
00:45:55,893 --> 00:45:57,733
Lock you up?
796
00:45:57,728 --> 00:45:58,958
Yes.
797
00:45:58,963 --> 00:46:01,833
Oh, god.
798
00:46:01,833 --> 00:46:05,303
After all these years and you had no clue.
799
00:46:06,471 --> 00:46:08,271
It's not about you.
800
00:46:08,273 --> 00:46:10,273
It's not? But I hate that.
801
00:46:10,275 --> 00:46:13,405
No, the birdcage was so you could...
802
00:46:13,411 --> 00:46:17,011
keep the next Mrs.
Darling from flying away.
803
00:46:17,014 --> 00:46:18,724
Like the first one did.
804
00:46:21,318 --> 00:46:23,148
- It was?
- Yes.
805
00:46:23,153 --> 00:46:25,763
No wait, I thought it
was because, you know...
806
00:46:25,757 --> 00:46:29,087
you can fly in, but then
if you wanted to fly out...
807
00:46:29,094 --> 00:46:31,304
you know, to meet up with other roosters...
808
00:46:39,103 --> 00:46:41,773
Hello, my lady. Where's Saffron?
809
00:46:41,773 --> 00:46:43,343
Gone inside.
810
00:46:48,445 --> 00:46:50,475
Homemade chocolates?
811
00:46:50,481 --> 00:46:53,181
They're super-delicious, and a lot of fun.
812
00:46:54,818 --> 00:46:56,848
What sort of fun?
813
00:46:56,855 --> 00:46:58,915
Let's just say they're
in the 'shroom family.
814
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,100
Wanna go for a moonlight ride?
815
00:47:14,938 --> 00:47:15,938
I'll go change.
816
00:47:25,784 --> 00:47:27,754
Do you know what's great about us?
817
00:47:29,387 --> 00:47:31,387
We've been through all the bad times.
818
00:47:33,324 --> 00:47:37,794
One of the benefits of being
apart so long is that...
819
00:47:37,795 --> 00:47:41,065
somebody else had to
take the knockout punches.
820
00:47:43,233 --> 00:47:47,043
And on that note, think I'll
have another drink. Anyone?
821
00:47:47,038 --> 00:47:50,068
No. I won't. I'm getting
married in the morning.
822
00:47:50,074 --> 00:47:52,184
I should think about going to bed.
823
00:47:52,177 --> 00:47:53,747
The night is young.
824
00:48:01,385 --> 00:48:06,085
Eve and Laurence have started
in on the merits of marriage.
825
00:48:06,090 --> 00:48:09,060
It's funny how they didn't have
that conversation 30 years ago.
826
00:48:09,059 --> 00:48:10,299
- Isn't it?
- Uh-huh.
827
00:48:28,545 --> 00:48:31,105
I think that's enough of that.
828
00:48:31,114 --> 00:48:32,224
All right.
829
00:48:45,429 --> 00:48:47,559
Fuck.
830
00:48:47,565 --> 00:48:49,295
Fuck, fuck.
831
00:48:56,608 --> 00:48:58,408
Have you ever thought
what might've happened...
832
00:48:58,409 --> 00:49:01,109
if you'd never gotten me that part?
833
00:49:01,112 --> 00:49:05,582
Yeah. I might've been
mentioned in one of the reviews.
834
00:49:05,583 --> 00:49:08,393
I meant, what might've happened with us.
835
00:49:10,355 --> 00:49:11,915
I don't know.
836
00:49:11,922 --> 00:49:13,962
Would it've been different? Probably.
837
00:49:13,958 --> 00:49:16,158
Would it've been better? I don't know.
838
00:49:16,159 --> 00:49:17,559
Better than this?
839
00:49:20,530 --> 00:49:23,530
What if Harold feels there's
no room for an ex-husband?
840
00:49:25,235 --> 00:49:27,435
There's always room.
841
00:49:27,438 --> 00:49:29,968
Ah, but maybe no more room for this.
842
00:49:34,177 --> 00:49:37,047
May I tempt you?
843
00:49:37,047 --> 00:49:40,077
I have a wedding dress to fit into.
844
00:49:46,157 --> 00:49:49,227
You're going to be the
most beautiful bride.
845
00:49:57,467 --> 00:49:58,567
Hm.
846
00:50:02,507 --> 00:50:05,167
Hey.
847
00:50:05,175 --> 00:50:07,505
You wanna bake a cake?
848
00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:08,642
Okay.
849
00:50:08,646 --> 00:50:10,576
Fantastic. Let's go. Come on!
850
00:50:14,018 --> 00:50:17,318
Woo!
851
00:50:17,322 --> 00:50:18,992
- You feel anything?
- Yeah!
852
00:50:18,989 --> 00:50:20,189
I feel...
853
00:50:20,190 --> 00:50:23,260
fucking... amazing!
854
00:50:23,260 --> 00:50:25,260
All right, I will chop the mint.
855
00:50:25,262 --> 00:50:29,602
You pick the tune. Music is important.
856
00:50:29,599 --> 00:50:31,669
So what're we actually
doing here, Gordon Ramsey?
857
00:50:31,668 --> 00:50:35,668
Are you familiar with the chiffonade cut?
858
00:50:35,672 --> 00:50:37,612
No. What is it?
859
00:50:40,043 --> 00:50:43,183
Nice! Austrian Swing.
860
00:50:43,181 --> 00:50:46,081
Is that a lucky guess
or an excellent choice?
861
00:50:46,083 --> 00:50:47,483
No, it's not a lucky guess.
862
00:50:47,485 --> 00:50:49,215
- Really?
- Yeah.
863
00:50:49,219 --> 00:50:52,019
I spent two nights in a
soggy tent in Glastonbury...
864
00:50:52,023 --> 00:50:54,663
just so I could shake my
bum to these gentlemen.
865
00:50:54,659 --> 00:50:57,559
That's having the same effect
on my ass, too, right. Come here.
866
00:50:57,561 --> 00:51:00,261
Okay, the chiffonade cut, you need
a knife with a long, thin blade...
867
00:51:00,264 --> 00:51:03,204
and a handle that you
can hold like a sword.
868
00:51:03,201 --> 00:51:04,531
Right.
869
00:51:04,534 --> 00:51:06,744
You know, I read that list of things...
870
00:51:06,737 --> 00:51:08,337
that psychopaths are good at.
871
00:51:08,338 --> 00:51:11,338
And cooking is right up there at the top.
872
00:51:11,342 --> 00:51:13,642
I'm almost afraid to ask how good you are.
873
00:51:13,643 --> 00:51:16,243
Guy who taught me's got two
Michelin stars. Let's go.
874
00:51:16,246 --> 00:51:19,406
Oh my god, you're Hannibal Bloody Lecter.
875
00:51:19,416 --> 00:51:20,586
Oh, hi.
876
00:51:23,221 --> 00:51:25,491
I was just on my way up to bed.
877
00:51:25,489 --> 00:51:27,059
Okay.
878
00:51:28,592 --> 00:51:29,962
Yeah... um...
879
00:51:32,563 --> 00:51:36,163
if you see Sam, will you send him up?
880
00:51:36,166 --> 00:51:37,496
Okay.
881
00:51:49,679 --> 00:51:51,609
- Good night.
- Good night.
882
00:51:51,615 --> 00:51:53,245
- Good night.
- Night.
883
00:52:00,057 --> 00:52:03,057
You know, I'm feeling
a little bushed myself.
884
00:52:03,061 --> 00:52:05,361
I think it's the jet lag.
885
00:52:05,362 --> 00:52:06,762
Are you sure?
886
00:52:06,764 --> 00:52:08,334
Yeah.
887
00:52:08,331 --> 00:52:11,331
- Really?
- Yeah.
888
00:52:11,335 --> 00:52:12,495
Sleep well.
889
00:52:15,672 --> 00:52:18,182
This is the best wine I've ever had.
890
00:52:20,610 --> 00:52:22,780
Normally it's an okay little winery...
891
00:52:22,780 --> 00:52:26,280
but 2009 knocked it out of the park.
892
00:52:29,653 --> 00:52:32,793
And, it goes deliciously
with these chocolates.
893
00:52:32,789 --> 00:52:34,459
Oh, thank you.
894
00:52:43,733 --> 00:52:44,703
Ah, you're making me dizzy.
895
00:52:51,641 --> 00:52:53,681
Be quiet!
896
00:52:53,677 --> 00:52:56,407
- My dad...
- You be quiet. My dad.
897
00:52:56,414 --> 00:52:57,724
Harold!
898
00:53:31,215 --> 00:53:33,285
I wasn't a very good husband.
899
00:53:35,519 --> 00:53:38,519
Or father, either, for that matter.
900
00:53:39,856 --> 00:53:41,786
Just couldn't say no...
901
00:53:43,427 --> 00:53:45,787
to the work...
902
00:53:45,795 --> 00:53:48,395
to the women...
903
00:53:48,398 --> 00:53:49,768
to life's pleasures.
904
00:53:53,871 --> 00:53:58,741
And marriage puts a stop
to all that, doesn't it?
905
00:53:59,876 --> 00:54:01,646
It does tend to, yes.
906
00:54:04,447 --> 00:54:07,377
"The cradle rocks above an abyss..."
907
00:54:07,385 --> 00:54:11,685
"and common sense tells
us that our existence..."
908
00:54:11,688 --> 00:54:13,918
"is but a brief crack of light..."
909
00:54:13,925 --> 00:54:16,955
"between two eternities of darkness".
910
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:18,800
Vladamir Nabakov.
911
00:54:24,402 --> 00:54:27,812
Our time in the light is nearly done.
912
00:54:29,974 --> 00:54:32,444
I sometimes wonder...
913
00:54:32,443 --> 00:54:36,553
if we should really be
saying no to anything...
914
00:54:36,547 --> 00:54:40,517
before we face the long night.
915
00:54:44,554 --> 00:54:48,164
So I'm making a collection of face masks.
916
00:54:49,726 --> 00:54:51,456
What do you think?
917
00:54:51,461 --> 00:54:54,601
You've done this professionally, right?
918
00:54:54,599 --> 00:54:58,769
Well, I don't know, like I've
never actually been paid for it.
919
00:54:58,768 --> 00:55:03,408
So, I don't think you could
say that I'm a professional.
920
00:55:03,407 --> 00:55:05,937
But, I've done it like 50 times...
921
00:55:05,943 --> 00:55:08,683
and I've only lost two people.
922
00:55:10,414 --> 00:55:11,554
- Lost?
- Yeah.
923
00:55:11,548 --> 00:55:12,348
Wait a minute.
924
00:55:14,284 --> 00:55:17,694
The breathing part is a bit tricky.
925
00:55:19,956 --> 00:55:22,386
Okay.
926
00:55:22,393 --> 00:55:24,533
Stop.
927
00:55:24,527 --> 00:55:25,697
You're ticklish.
928
00:55:39,976 --> 00:55:41,776
Sorry, kid.
929
00:55:43,780 --> 00:55:45,920
What're you made of, rocks?
930
00:55:48,485 --> 00:55:50,885
All right, I can do this.
931
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,800
Okay. Okay. Okay.
932
00:56:14,844 --> 00:56:16,314
Did you lose something?
933
00:56:20,016 --> 00:56:21,786
Yeah, yeah, actually.
934
00:56:23,887 --> 00:56:27,017
The engagement ring
that you never gave back.
935
00:56:27,023 --> 00:56:28,393
Oh.
936
00:56:28,391 --> 00:56:29,891
Well it's not down there.
937
00:56:29,893 --> 00:56:32,033
- Really?
- No.
938
00:56:32,028 --> 00:56:33,628
Wanna check the other side?
939
00:56:39,869 --> 00:56:41,569
Okay, okay,
wait-wait-wait.
940
00:56:41,572 --> 00:56:44,912
Mackenzie can never,
ever, ever know about this.
941
00:56:44,909 --> 00:56:47,349
- Oh, god. Or Sam.
- Of course, of course.
942
00:56:50,347 --> 00:56:52,047
And Eve.
943
00:56:52,048 --> 00:56:54,648
- Don't tell your mother. Right?
- Oh, God, no. God, no, not...
944
00:56:57,088 --> 00:56:58,988
And you know, Laurence...
you know I love your father.
945
00:56:58,989 --> 00:57:00,789
- I do. I just...
- No-no-no.
946
00:57:00,791 --> 00:57:02,391
God, he's the most fucking
indiscreet person I know.
947
00:57:02,393 --> 00:57:03,593
Okay.
948
00:57:03,594 --> 00:57:04,934
- Oo!
- Oh, god. Oh, god.
949
00:57:04,929 --> 00:57:06,459
Okay, I'm here. Here we go.
950
00:57:06,463 --> 00:57:07,733
Just carry on.
951
00:57:32,088 --> 00:57:34,018
What?
952
00:57:34,023 --> 00:57:36,093
I don't know who's worse.
953
00:57:36,092 --> 00:57:38,332
You, for putting this on.
954
00:57:39,764 --> 00:57:42,704
Or you for watching this.
955
00:58:16,699 --> 00:58:19,039
It's hardly a comedy.
956
00:58:26,643 --> 00:58:28,713
My love!
957
00:58:28,711 --> 00:58:30,181
Yes?
958
00:58:30,181 --> 00:58:31,481
My love!
959
00:58:31,481 --> 00:58:33,481
Harold, are you drunk?
960
00:58:33,483 --> 00:58:37,023
I just had the most
smashing bottle of wine...
961
00:58:37,021 --> 00:58:39,951
with your smashing ex-husband...
962
00:58:39,956 --> 00:58:42,756
who I think is smashing, by the way.
963
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:45,590
Ah, well, I'm glad that's going so well.
964
00:58:45,596 --> 00:58:49,826
It is, but what's not going
well, my dearest, is us.
965
00:58:49,833 --> 00:58:50,973
Oh, yes?
966
00:58:50,967 --> 00:58:56,797
Yeah, I'm pining for you.
967
00:58:56,806 --> 00:59:02,776
How can you leave me to
languish on this moonlit night...
968
00:59:02,780 --> 00:59:06,850
alone in my bed, and you alone in yours?
969
00:59:06,851 --> 00:59:10,051
All right, Mr. Shakespeare, off you go.
970
00:59:10,054 --> 00:59:12,854
It's bad luck to sleep
together the night before.
971
00:59:12,856 --> 00:59:16,486
- But I...
- I'll bend the rules so far.
972
00:59:21,565 --> 00:59:23,095
That's your lot.
973
00:59:35,144 --> 00:59:38,454
I feel a lot of love about the things...
974
00:59:45,588 --> 00:59:47,758
Love is in the air.
975
00:59:47,757 --> 00:59:55,157
In the air. In the air, love, in the air.
976
00:59:55,164 --> 00:59:56,634
The last one's up.
977
01:00:02,239 --> 01:00:03,969
Laurence, my sofa!
978
01:00:11,782 --> 01:00:14,252
It's just a teensy, weensy bit of spillage.
979
01:00:16,887 --> 01:00:18,887
I'm gonna get another bottle.
980
01:00:34,871 --> 01:00:38,011
On the scale of bad ideas...
981
01:00:38,007 --> 01:00:41,137
where do you think this one is?
982
01:00:41,144 --> 01:00:45,184
I would say it's somewhere between...
983
01:00:45,181 --> 01:00:49,751
when I kissed George Michael,
thinking it was you...
984
01:00:51,722 --> 01:00:55,292
and you remember that time
I surprised you on tour?
985
01:00:55,291 --> 01:00:57,931
- Oh, yeah, that was bad.
- That was terrible.
986
01:00:59,829 --> 01:01:01,999
- Listen, I...
- Yeah, I...
987
01:01:01,998 --> 01:01:03,158
Mom!
988
01:01:03,166 --> 01:01:05,926
Fuck. Hey, will you turn the light out?
989
01:01:05,936 --> 01:01:07,766
Why?
990
01:01:07,771 --> 01:01:09,071
Mom!
991
01:01:09,072 --> 01:01:11,612
Okay, I'm gonna borrow this. Okay.
992
01:01:16,847 --> 01:01:18,247
What're you doing?
993
01:01:18,248 --> 01:01:20,178
I was just borrowing
a book. Why are you up?
994
01:01:20,184 --> 01:01:21,854
I had a nightmare.
995
01:01:21,851 --> 01:01:24,121
You were singing one of your new songs.
996
01:01:24,121 --> 01:01:26,321
Yeah, it's pretty sick
having your own blog, like...
997
01:01:26,322 --> 01:01:28,662
you can just post whatever you want.
998
01:01:28,659 --> 01:01:30,989
My mom or whoever can't
come on and be like...
999
01:01:30,994 --> 01:01:32,664
"You can't post that."
1000
01:01:36,666 --> 01:01:40,096
Oh, whoop. My god, I do
not fuckin' believe that.
1001
01:01:40,103 --> 01:01:41,943
- That is my phone.
- Who's the Boss?
1002
01:01:41,938 --> 01:01:43,408
That's my phone.
1003
01:01:43,407 --> 01:01:45,907
- Give that to me.
- It's the size of a fucking log.
1004
01:01:45,909 --> 01:01:49,139
Saffie, that spanking could
do some serious damage.
1005
01:01:49,146 --> 01:01:51,206
Get the fuck off of me!
1006
01:01:51,215 --> 01:01:53,715
And don't you dare call
me Saffie, you nosey bitch.
1007
01:01:56,653 --> 01:01:58,023
What?
1008
01:02:23,681 --> 01:02:25,781
- That star over there.
- What is that?
1009
01:02:25,782 --> 01:02:28,022
I don't know, is it? I'm asking you.
1010
01:02:44,902 --> 01:02:47,942
Now who's the boss, Saffie? Slut!
1011
01:03:03,786 --> 01:03:05,086
God!
1012
01:03:22,905 --> 01:03:24,305
Yes!
1013
01:04:08,952 --> 01:04:11,122
Fuck.
1014
01:04:14,358 --> 01:04:16,258
Fuck.
1015
01:04:32,376 --> 01:04:34,306
Aw, fuck!
1016
01:04:34,311 --> 01:04:37,881
Fuck! Fuck!
1017
01:05:12,014 --> 01:05:14,094
Oh my god.
1018
01:05:18,922 --> 01:05:22,262
The sofa looks like Gorbachev's forehead.
1019
01:05:40,443 --> 01:05:41,953
Oh, god.
1020
01:06:22,085 --> 01:06:24,285
I'm not gonna marry Harold.
1021
01:06:24,288 --> 01:06:25,948
What? Why?
1022
01:06:25,956 --> 01:06:29,686
I've been up all night, pacing around.
1023
01:06:29,693 --> 01:06:32,963
What was I thinking, getting married again?
1024
01:06:32,963 --> 01:06:35,963
I have my family, the people
that've made the most of me.
1025
01:06:35,965 --> 01:06:38,925
And you know what I realized?
1026
01:06:38,936 --> 01:06:42,536
There is only so much
room in the ol' attic.
1027
01:06:42,539 --> 01:06:45,009
Okay, sorry. You lost me.
1028
01:06:46,108 --> 01:06:47,678
New people.
1029
01:06:47,677 --> 01:06:50,607
All that baggage has to go somewhere.
1030
01:06:50,614 --> 01:06:52,984
To make room, I'd have to
start rearranging everything...
1031
01:06:52,983 --> 01:06:54,353
that's already up here.
1032
01:06:56,987 --> 01:07:00,257
New or different doesn't
necessarily mean better.
1033
01:07:03,994 --> 01:07:05,664
What am I gonna do?
1034
01:07:08,565 --> 01:07:13,595
Well, we've been here before,
having similar conversations...
1035
01:07:13,603 --> 01:07:17,513
normally after the
marriage has taken place.
1036
01:07:17,507 --> 01:07:22,577
So, in a way, I suppose we
could say, we're making progress.
1037
01:07:24,047 --> 01:07:25,477
Come in.
1038
01:07:41,398 --> 01:07:44,258
It's disgusting! It's despicable!
1039
01:07:44,266 --> 01:07:46,496
- It's embarrassing!
- What? What?
1040
01:07:46,503 --> 01:07:50,343
How many other of my
friends have you shagged!
1041
01:07:50,340 --> 01:07:51,770
- Oh, not now...
- Tell me, Dad!
1042
01:07:51,775 --> 01:07:53,205
How many are there?
1043
01:07:53,210 --> 01:07:54,640
- Just tell me!
- What do you take me for?
1044
01:07:54,643 --> 01:07:57,983
What do you mean? A fucking pervert!
1045
01:07:59,016 --> 01:08:01,416
- Where is that...
- Rose.
1046
01:08:01,418 --> 01:08:03,718
Rose! Darling!
1047
01:08:03,719 --> 01:08:05,549
Where are you, bitch?
1048
01:08:05,554 --> 01:08:09,064
You fucking slut! I'm
gonna knock your head off!
1049
01:08:09,059 --> 01:08:12,189
Fucking my dad? What the
fuck is wrong with you?
1050
01:08:14,697 --> 01:08:18,127
Wow. This got more hits
than the piano-playing kitty.
1051
01:08:18,135 --> 01:08:21,135
What do we have here?
1052
01:08:21,137 --> 01:08:27,107
Looks like Harold... no,
"The Boss" and Saffie.
1053
01:08:27,109 --> 01:08:29,479
If I ever see her again,
I'm gonna kill her.
1054
01:08:29,479 --> 01:08:31,209
Although it is lucky that
she happened to be outside...
1055
01:08:31,213 --> 01:08:33,083
with her phone.
1056
01:08:33,082 --> 01:08:34,352
Pink's a blogger, Dad.
'Course she had her phone.
1057
01:08:34,350 --> 01:08:36,420
Oh my god...
1058
01:08:36,420 --> 01:08:38,220
I can't believe I'm getting this...
1059
01:08:38,220 --> 01:08:43,130
on camera right now. Oh,
yeah. "The Boss" is Harold.
1060
01:08:48,532 --> 01:08:50,372
Nice. That's awesome, Sam.
1061
01:08:50,367 --> 01:08:51,637
Good job, Sammy.
1062
01:08:57,239 --> 01:08:59,639
You knew, didn't you?
1063
01:08:59,643 --> 01:09:03,783
I wanted to come to see you, but I was...
1064
01:09:03,779 --> 01:09:07,649
wondering if maybe by
now you had developed...
1065
01:09:07,650 --> 01:09:11,320
a spirit of wry realism...
1066
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:14,320
with regards to "happily ever after."
1067
01:09:14,323 --> 01:09:16,123
"Wry realism"?
1068
01:09:16,126 --> 01:09:20,226
Yes, well, maybe you were
finally ready to live with...
1069
01:09:20,229 --> 01:09:22,259
bumpily ever after.
1070
01:09:22,265 --> 01:09:24,865
Bumpily ever after?
1071
01:09:24,868 --> 01:09:26,798
You think I'm making a mistake?
1072
01:09:26,802 --> 01:09:28,742
With Harold? No.
1073
01:09:28,738 --> 01:09:31,338
Harold's fine. I personally
have nothing against him.
1074
01:09:31,341 --> 01:09:34,481
But you deserve way, way better.
1075
01:09:34,478 --> 01:09:38,278
You deserve to be loved...
1076
01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:40,620
because you've always
been there to give love.
1077
01:09:40,617 --> 01:09:42,217
You deserve to be honored...
1078
01:09:42,219 --> 01:09:45,449
because you carried this family...
1079
01:09:45,454 --> 01:09:48,594
single-handedly on your shoulders.
1080
01:09:48,591 --> 01:09:52,631
And now it's your turn to take a ride.
1081
01:09:52,628 --> 01:09:56,658
My love, you spent the entire
night pacing back and forth...
1082
01:09:56,666 --> 01:09:59,666
in your jammies, and you
still look so damn cute.
1083
01:09:59,668 --> 01:10:03,298
And that deserves to be cherished.
1084
01:10:03,305 --> 01:10:05,235
And maybe it was no...
1085
01:10:07,777 --> 01:10:12,347
accident that Harold messed up last night.
1086
01:10:40,676 --> 01:10:42,606
Oh, Dad.
1087
01:10:44,480 --> 01:10:47,710
You've embarrassed us.
1088
01:10:47,716 --> 01:10:49,346
What you did...
1089
01:10:49,351 --> 01:10:53,821
it was just creepy in so many ways.
1090
01:10:55,524 --> 01:10:58,564
- You watched her grow up.
- I know.
1091
01:10:58,561 --> 01:11:00,931
She was Rose's best friend, for God's sake!
1092
01:11:00,930 --> 01:11:05,230
I know. I never meant... it was...
1093
01:11:05,234 --> 01:11:07,574
I want... I just...
1094
01:11:07,570 --> 01:11:09,770
I packed up all my books.
1095
01:11:09,773 --> 01:11:14,383
I really wanted this to work.
1096
01:11:14,377 --> 01:11:17,447
Such a fucking idiot.
1097
01:11:18,681 --> 01:11:20,821
Yeah, you are.
1098
01:11:20,817 --> 01:11:24,447
I thought it was romantic.
1099
01:11:24,453 --> 01:11:26,553
I thought you'd finally found someone...
1100
01:11:26,555 --> 01:11:29,885
to spend the rest of your life with.
1101
01:11:29,893 --> 01:11:31,733
That you weren't gonna be alone.
1102
01:11:31,728 --> 01:11:33,658
I wasn't gonna have to worry about you...
1103
01:11:33,662 --> 01:11:35,402
living on cold pizza anymore.
1104
01:11:35,398 --> 01:11:38,398
Oh, darling, that was not our relationship.
1105
01:11:41,770 --> 01:11:44,440
I thought you'd changed.
1106
01:11:45,641 --> 01:11:47,281
I'm so, so sorry.
1107
01:11:49,613 --> 01:11:52,283
- Come on...
- What am I gonna do?
1108
01:12:02,425 --> 01:12:05,455
Well, first of all...
1109
01:12:05,462 --> 01:12:08,502
I'm not the one you
should be apologizing to.
1110
01:12:10,033 --> 01:12:13,273
And then, we'll all go back to London...
1111
01:12:13,270 --> 01:12:16,770
and to the shame of you having
been caught having sex...
1112
01:12:16,773 --> 01:12:21,583
with a woman nearly 40 years your junior.
1113
01:12:21,578 --> 01:12:24,038
And then you'll have to move to Italy...
1114
01:12:24,046 --> 01:12:26,946
where they don't have a
problem with that sort of thing.
1115
01:12:40,462 --> 01:12:45,402
♪ What is this
thing called love ♪
1116
01:12:47,904 --> 01:12:52,844
♪ This funny thing called love ♪
1117
01:12:55,345 --> 01:13:00,275
♪ Just who can
solve its mystery ♪
1118
01:13:02,484 --> 01:13:07,424
♪ Why should it
make a fool of me ♪
1119
01:13:09,826 --> 01:13:14,766
♪ I saw you there
one wonderful day ♪
1120
01:13:17,399 --> 01:13:22,309
♪ You took my heart
and threw it away ♪
1121
01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:27,510
♪ That's why I ask the Lord ♪
1122
01:13:27,510 --> 01:13:31,850
♪ In heaven above ♪
1123
01:13:31,847 --> 01:13:36,787
♪ What is this
thing called love ♪
1124
01:13:49,466 --> 01:13:54,396
I gather you've heard, I've
gone and ballsed this up.
1125
01:13:54,404 --> 01:13:56,004
My cue to exit.
1126
01:13:56,005 --> 01:13:59,535
No... you may as well stay.
1127
01:14:02,979 --> 01:14:07,049
Eve, I really wanted to be that man.
1128
01:14:07,050 --> 01:14:11,120
The best man, you know, for you!
1129
01:14:11,121 --> 01:14:15,521
You were so utterly...
1130
01:14:15,524 --> 01:14:19,864
fucking fabulous and gorgeous
and smart and charming.
1131
01:14:19,863 --> 01:14:23,163
And I thought I could change.
1132
01:14:23,166 --> 01:14:27,396
But it's just not me.
1133
01:14:27,404 --> 01:14:31,044
I'm so sorry that I have
caused you this humiliation.
1134
01:14:31,039 --> 01:14:35,479
I just wish I could have
it all directed at me.
1135
01:14:39,815 --> 01:14:41,675
Harold.
1136
01:14:43,685 --> 01:14:47,845
You might want to think about growing up.
1137
01:14:47,856 --> 01:14:51,756
Chasing 25-year-olds
at your age...
1138
01:14:51,761 --> 01:14:54,631
it looks very sad.
1139
01:14:54,631 --> 01:14:56,761
I look like a swine.
1140
01:14:56,765 --> 01:15:00,765
Way more sad than that.
1141
01:15:00,770 --> 01:15:03,910
I am so fucked!
1142
01:15:03,907 --> 01:15:06,967
Harold, before you start
flagellating yourself...
1143
01:15:06,975 --> 01:15:09,905
like a monk, may I say something?
1144
01:15:09,912 --> 01:15:14,152
Eve is a fabulous woman.
She's a major catch.
1145
01:15:14,149 --> 01:15:17,519
And I'd say that sadly, from experience...
1146
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:20,120
you're the one who lost out here.
1147
01:15:20,122 --> 01:15:22,922
And, if it makes you feel any better...
1148
01:15:22,926 --> 01:15:26,156
the reason I'm here in
her bedroom is because...
1149
01:15:26,162 --> 01:15:29,632
she wanted to tell me
that she wasn't going...
1150
01:15:29,631 --> 01:15:33,801
through with the marriage,
and this was before...
1151
01:15:33,802 --> 01:15:37,572
you broke the internet with your...
1152
01:15:37,573 --> 01:15:41,443
Legends of the AARP vine.
1153
01:16:04,234 --> 01:16:06,234
Hey.
1154
01:16:06,235 --> 01:16:08,125
I'm so sorry.
1155
01:16:08,136 --> 01:16:09,866
You know what?
1156
01:16:09,872 --> 01:16:12,742
When it comes to apologizing
for parents who behave badly...
1157
01:16:14,176 --> 01:16:16,746
we are a family of world champs.
1158
01:16:20,015 --> 01:16:21,745
- Thank you.
- Sure.
1159
01:16:23,853 --> 01:16:27,853
I did not expect this
weekend to pan out like this.
1160
01:16:27,856 --> 01:16:29,886
No.
1161
01:16:29,893 --> 01:16:32,693
How is everybody?
1162
01:16:32,694 --> 01:16:35,534
Rose and Saffron aren't speaking.
1163
01:16:35,532 --> 01:16:37,872
I don't think they ever will again.
1164
01:16:37,867 --> 01:16:39,527
That bad, huh?
1165
01:16:39,536 --> 01:16:41,966
Well, not until they both coincidentally...
1166
01:16:41,970 --> 01:16:44,770
have teenage children
in rehab in Minnesota.
1167
01:16:47,109 --> 01:16:48,779
How 'bout you?
1168
01:16:50,179 --> 01:16:53,679
I think I'm done trying
to worry everyone...
1169
01:16:53,682 --> 01:16:55,752
into making the right decision.
1170
01:16:55,752 --> 01:16:58,022
They always make the
same stupid decision...
1171
01:16:58,020 --> 01:17:00,220
they were going to anyway.
1172
01:17:00,222 --> 01:17:02,892
I think it's my turn to make
a stupid decision, actually.
1173
01:17:13,136 --> 01:17:14,966
I'm sorry, that was
really stupid, wasn't it...
1174
01:17:14,970 --> 01:17:16,710
No, no, no, no.
1175
01:17:19,309 --> 01:17:21,239
I can be way more stupid than that.
1176
01:17:36,359 --> 01:17:38,729
So how did you see this
weekend panning out?
1177
01:17:39,929 --> 01:17:43,129
Well, kinda like this.
1178
01:17:45,335 --> 01:17:46,865
And what gave you that impression?
1179
01:17:49,072 --> 01:17:51,282
How we chop mint.
1180
01:17:52,942 --> 01:17:54,852
We've got the same taste in music.
1181
01:17:56,279 --> 01:17:58,349
That is important.
1182
01:17:58,347 --> 01:18:00,677
Yes, it is.
1183
01:18:00,682 --> 01:18:02,952
And...
1184
01:18:02,952 --> 01:18:07,292
you got a whole lotta new
material for your next novel.
1185
01:18:07,289 --> 01:18:08,989
Oh yeah, masses.
1186
01:18:10,893 --> 01:18:12,333
You know what I think?
1187
01:18:13,930 --> 01:18:15,870
I think you should stay in New York...
1188
01:18:17,699 --> 01:18:20,869
and do a little research on
some of the American characters.
1189
01:18:24,373 --> 01:18:26,013
Well, I can think of one.
1190
01:18:26,009 --> 01:18:27,809
Okay.
1191
01:18:27,810 --> 01:18:32,050
But, I'm a little worried
that he wants to eat me...
1192
01:18:32,047 --> 01:18:35,317
with some fava beans and nice Chianti.
1193
01:18:36,853 --> 01:18:39,353
Look, I think I oughtta tell you something.
1194
01:18:46,962 --> 01:18:50,002
You don't have to say
goodbye. Just jump in the car.
1195
01:18:49,998 --> 01:18:51,128
It's great to see you.
1196
01:18:51,134 --> 01:18:52,204
- Thank you so much.
- Bye.
1197
01:18:53,903 --> 01:18:55,913
Bye. Bye.
1198
01:19:11,688 --> 01:19:15,258
I have a lot of answering
to do, to all of you...
1199
01:19:15,257 --> 01:19:17,387
and I will.
1200
01:19:17,393 --> 01:19:20,763
But for now, I want you to know...
1201
01:19:20,762 --> 01:19:23,402
that I'm so sorry for
having let you all down.
1202
01:19:23,399 --> 01:19:27,799
But, I promise you, we
will get over this...
1203
01:19:27,804 --> 01:19:29,844
and we will move forward, together.
1204
01:19:29,838 --> 01:19:32,068
Yeah. Right, Dad.
1205
01:19:32,074 --> 01:19:33,874
I'm stopping off in New York.
1206
01:19:33,876 --> 01:19:35,176
What?
1207
01:19:35,177 --> 01:19:37,907
Probably gonna stay for a few months.
1208
01:19:37,913 --> 01:19:39,453
You two are on your own.
1209
01:19:39,448 --> 01:19:40,778
No, Clemmie.
1210
01:19:40,783 --> 01:19:44,053
You'll be fine. You'll be fine.
1211
01:19:48,291 --> 01:19:50,421
Mom...
1212
01:19:50,426 --> 01:19:54,056
if you sleep with your friend,
does it ruin the friendship?
1213
01:19:54,063 --> 01:19:57,333
- Oh, well, it never did for me.
- Really?
1214
01:19:57,332 --> 01:19:59,502
Yeah, but, I can count my
real friends on one hand.
1215
01:19:59,502 --> 01:20:02,872
I mean, actually I
don't even need one hand.
1216
01:20:02,872 --> 01:20:07,072
You know, the important part is...
1217
01:20:07,076 --> 01:20:10,476
not working on staying friends afterwards.
1218
01:20:10,479 --> 01:20:13,949
That's what ruins it.
1219
01:20:13,949 --> 01:20:16,219
But you don't have to worry
about that, 'cause you know...
1220
01:20:16,219 --> 01:20:18,019
you're gonna have kids
with like 15 fingers.
1221
01:20:18,020 --> 01:20:19,220
- You're gonna have way bigger...
- Oh, my god.
1222
01:20:19,221 --> 01:20:20,851
things to worry about.
1223
01:20:20,856 --> 01:20:22,216
- Giant gloves.
- That's not...
1224
01:20:22,225 --> 01:20:24,285
- Maybe mittens.
- That's not even funny.
1225
01:20:24,292 --> 01:20:25,332
That's better, right?
1226
01:20:27,395 --> 01:20:28,855
All right.
1227
01:20:28,864 --> 01:20:30,964
I'm a good mommy.
1228
01:20:30,966 --> 01:20:32,496
- Yeah.
- I gotta go.
1229
01:20:32,502 --> 01:20:36,312
- Why?
- I gotta go call Sam's dad.
1230
01:20:37,405 --> 01:20:38,965
Okay.
1231
01:20:46,082 --> 01:20:48,722
Oh, god, I'm gonna have to say something.
1232
01:21:06,002 --> 01:21:07,872
I'll do it.
1233
01:21:33,996 --> 01:21:38,496
Hello, everyone. I have
an announcement to make.
1234
01:21:38,501 --> 01:21:43,201
After much deliberation
and mature reflection...
1235
01:21:43,206 --> 01:21:45,036
by the parties in question...
1236
01:21:45,041 --> 01:21:48,241
it has been mutually decided...
1237
01:21:48,243 --> 01:21:51,113
that the advertised wedding...
1238
01:21:51,113 --> 01:21:53,213
will not be going forward.
1239
01:21:53,216 --> 01:21:57,986
Now, I know that's a
disappointment to everyone...
1240
01:21:57,987 --> 01:22:01,017
but, look at it this way...
1241
01:22:01,023 --> 01:22:06,363
at least we won't have to
have pasta afta the ballet.
1242
01:22:08,264 --> 01:22:10,474
Too soon. Very well.
1243
01:22:12,100 --> 01:22:13,300
Boys.
1244
01:22:15,904 --> 01:22:20,214
Boys, if you would, a clever
and imaginative toast, please?
1245
01:22:20,208 --> 01:22:21,938
To calling it off?
1246
01:22:21,944 --> 01:22:26,914
Well done. To Eve and
Harold for calling it off.
1247
01:22:26,916 --> 01:22:28,246
Cheers.
1248
01:22:28,251 --> 01:22:30,181
To Eve and Harold for calling it off.
1249
01:22:30,185 --> 01:22:34,215
However, Judge McCaffery is
here. Everything is set up.
1250
01:22:34,222 --> 01:22:37,362
Why not take advantage?
1251
01:22:37,359 --> 01:22:40,959
So would anyone like to get married today?
1252
01:22:40,962 --> 01:22:43,102
Anybody at all? It's all on us.
1253
01:22:43,099 --> 01:22:47,599
Actually, it's on Eve,
because I'm incredibly cheap.
1254
01:22:47,603 --> 01:22:49,343
Anybody?
1255
01:22:51,439 --> 01:22:55,979
No, okay. Well, I have a suggestion.
1256
01:22:55,978 --> 01:22:58,308
Eve?
1257
01:22:58,314 --> 01:23:01,324
Eve, show yourself!
1258
01:23:14,963 --> 01:23:19,633
My dear, before another marriage
ends in divorce or death...
1259
01:23:19,635 --> 01:23:24,095
why don't we just cut to
the chase and tie the knot?
1260
01:23:25,274 --> 01:23:27,014
What?
1261
01:23:27,009 --> 01:23:29,679
I mean, if there is somebody
else you'd like to marry...
1262
01:23:29,679 --> 01:23:33,479
first, before you remarry
me, that's... that's fine.
1263
01:23:35,016 --> 01:23:36,516
Boys, what do you think?
1264
01:23:36,519 --> 01:23:37,619
You're on your own here, Dad.
1265
01:23:37,619 --> 01:23:39,419
Oh I definitely wanna hear this.
1266
01:23:39,421 --> 01:23:43,121
Mom, it's Dad, so, a prenup is a must.
1267
01:23:43,125 --> 01:23:45,655
Thanks, kids, you're out of the will.
1268
01:23:50,632 --> 01:23:54,972
Eve, I've done some
stupid things in my life.
1269
01:23:54,970 --> 01:23:59,310
But that was actually
the younger, dumber me.
1270
01:24:01,409 --> 01:24:04,979
I remember him well.
1271
01:24:04,980 --> 01:24:08,080
I constantly hear people say...
1272
01:24:08,083 --> 01:24:13,293
they're looking for the person
they wanna grow old with.
1273
01:24:13,288 --> 01:24:17,718
But we're here, now... living it right now.
1274
01:24:17,726 --> 01:24:20,996
I wanna grow old with you.
1275
01:24:20,997 --> 01:24:24,567
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
1276
01:24:24,567 --> 01:24:27,567
Will you be my wife?
1277
01:24:27,569 --> 01:24:29,639
Will you marry me?
1278
01:24:32,073 --> 01:24:35,683
Again?
1279
01:24:49,324 --> 01:24:51,464
Yes.
1280
01:25:05,306 --> 01:25:06,676
Come on down here.
1281
01:25:08,444 --> 01:25:10,054
I do.
1282
01:25:13,649 --> 01:25:16,589
Then I pronounce you man and wife.
1283
01:25:43,311 --> 01:25:46,211
All-in-all, I would have to
say, it was one of Eve's...
1284
01:25:46,215 --> 01:25:49,715
more entertaining
family get-togethers.
1285
01:25:49,717 --> 01:25:53,247
Laughter, tears, love, and sex.
1286
01:25:53,255 --> 01:25:55,455
Who could quibble?
1287
01:25:55,457 --> 01:25:57,717
Do you know where
your grandmother is?
1288
01:25:57,725 --> 01:26:00,325
Sorry, one second, I'll be right back...
1289
01:26:00,328 --> 01:26:02,558
I just wanted to show her something.
1290
01:26:02,564 --> 01:26:05,374
And, could you cut
the "grandmother" bit?
1291
01:26:05,367 --> 01:26:06,737
Otherwise, it's...
1292
01:26:13,576 --> 01:26:15,206
Actors.
1293
01:26:32,494 --> 01:26:36,204
♪ I bought a toothbrush
some toothpaste ♪
1294
01:26:36,198 --> 01:26:38,568
♪ A flannel for my face ♪
1295
01:26:38,567 --> 01:26:43,497
♪ Pajamas a hairbrush
New shoes and a case ♪
1296
01:26:43,506 --> 01:26:49,476
♪ I said to my reflection
Let's get out of this place ♪
1297
01:26:51,546 --> 01:26:54,546
♪ Past the church and the steeple ♪
1298
01:26:54,550 --> 01:26:57,150
♪ The laundry on the hill ♪
1299
01:26:57,153 --> 01:26:59,693
♪ The billboards and the buildings ♪
1300
01:26:59,688 --> 01:27:02,418
♪ Memories of it still ♪
1301
01:27:02,423 --> 01:27:07,463
♪ Keep calling and calling ♪
1302
01:27:07,462 --> 01:27:11,702
♪ But forget it all I know I will ♪
1303
01:27:13,536 --> 01:27:17,336
♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪
1304
01:27:18,740 --> 01:27:23,210
♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪
1305
01:27:23,212 --> 01:27:28,452
♪ What's been going on
Now that you have gone ♪
1306
01:27:28,449 --> 01:27:31,589
♪ There's no other ♪
1307
01:27:31,587 --> 01:27:35,357
♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪
1308
01:27:37,626 --> 01:27:41,726
♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪
1309
01:27:43,865 --> 01:27:45,765
Look at them.
1310
01:27:45,768 --> 01:27:47,598
Standing around the piano
like they're singing...
1311
01:27:47,603 --> 01:27:49,743
The Circle of Life...
1312
01:27:49,738 --> 01:27:52,738
when they're actually singing
a song about cheating.
1313
01:27:52,740 --> 01:27:54,710
See, I told you.
1314
01:27:54,710 --> 01:28:00,650
When it comes to my family,
love is just one big mystery.
1315
01:28:00,649 --> 01:28:06,319
♪ Now that you have
gone There's no other ♪
1316
01:28:06,322 --> 01:28:10,492
♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪
1317
01:28:10,492 --> 01:28:15,662
♪ Tempted but the
truth is discovered ♪
1318
01:28:19,001 --> 01:28:23,211
♪ Well I was tempted by
the fruit of another ♪
1319
01:28:25,306 --> 01:28:28,506
♪ Tempted but the
truth is discovered ♪
1320
01:28:30,345 --> 01:28:33,475
♪ Tempted by the
fruit of another ♪
1321
01:28:35,317 --> 01:28:40,247
♪ Tempted but the
truth is discovered ♪
1322
01:28:40,256 --> 01:28:43,326
♪ Tempted by the
fruit of another ♪
1323
01:28:45,527 --> 01:28:48,957
♪ Tempted but the
truth is discovered ♪
1324
01:28:48,963 --> 01:28:52,673
♪ Now what's been going on ♪
1325
01:29:08,283 --> 01:29:10,253
Wait for it.
1326
01:29:12,854 --> 01:29:14,594
Wait.
1327
01:29:15,923 --> 01:29:17,693
Going.
1328
01:29:19,328 --> 01:29:20,828
Going.
1329
01:29:23,564 --> 01:29:25,274
Gone.
1330
01:29:33,542 --> 01:29:36,312
Almost dark.
1331
01:29:47,323 --> 01:29:48,423
There.
1332
01:29:51,802 --> 01:29:56,802
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1333
01:32:26,047 --> 01:32:30,577
♪ We we are the
ones who love you ♪
1334
01:32:30,586 --> 01:32:33,486
♪ We are the ones who hurt you ♪
1335
01:32:33,488 --> 01:32:37,658
♪ We are the ones who heal you ♪
1336
01:32:37,658 --> 01:32:41,928
♪ I want to see
into the shadows ♪
1337
01:32:41,930 --> 01:32:44,700
♪ I can take a bit of madness ♪
1338
01:32:44,699 --> 01:32:46,739
♪ It's lucky 'cause
we've seen a lot ♪
1339
01:32:49,738 --> 01:32:52,738
♪ And I never said that
this was organized ♪
1340
01:32:55,243 --> 01:32:58,513
♪ And I never said
that we'd be fine ♪
1341
01:33:01,015 --> 01:33:04,815
♪ But I know I loved you
throughout all these years ♪
1342
01:33:06,889 --> 01:33:09,829
♪ With you this
chaos seems to bind ♪
1343
01:33:11,926 --> 01:33:16,226
♪ So let's hear it
for the mothers ♪
1344
01:33:16,230 --> 01:33:21,070
♪ Sisters dads and brothers
We're all in the same ol mess ♪
1345
01:33:23,305 --> 01:33:27,065
♪ I don't want to
see into the future ♪
1346
01:33:27,074 --> 01:33:30,014
♪ Because I'm okay
if I can reach you ♪
1347
01:33:30,011 --> 01:33:32,251
♪ And I'll take that
above all else ♪
1348
01:33:35,250 --> 01:33:38,550
♪ And I never said that
this was organized ♪
1349
01:33:41,122 --> 01:33:43,562
♪ I never said
that we'd be fine ♪
1350
01:33:46,828 --> 01:33:50,568
♪ But I know I've loved you
throughout all these years ♪
1351
01:33:52,600 --> 01:33:55,510
♪ With you this
chaos seems to bind ♪
1352
01:33:58,206 --> 01:34:01,506
♪ I never said that
this was organized ♪
1353
01:34:03,979 --> 01:34:06,779
♪ I never said
that we'd be fine ♪
1354
01:34:09,717 --> 01:34:12,757
♪ But I know I loved you
throughout all these years ♪
1355
01:34:15,591 --> 01:34:18,691
♪ With you this
chaos seems to bind ♪
1356
01:34:55,262 --> 01:34:59,142
♪ I never said that
this was organized ♪
1357
01:35:01,069 --> 01:35:04,069
♪ I never said
that we'd be fine ♪
1358
01:35:06,908 --> 01:35:10,078
♪ But I know I loved you
throughout all these years ♪
1359
01:35:12,413 --> 01:35:15,953
♪ With you this
chaos seems to bind ♪
94242
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