Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,023 --> 00:00:02,656
Previously on
"Stan Against Evil."
2
00:00:02,693 --> 00:00:04,625
What is that thing growing
up by the station?
3
00:00:04,686 --> 00:00:07,233
When the first flowers bloom,
the portal will open,
4
00:00:07,302 --> 00:00:08,459
and the Land of the Dead
5
00:00:08,517 --> 00:00:10,509
shall corrupt
the Land of the Living
6
00:00:10,567 --> 00:00:12,027
for time without end.
7
00:00:12,206 --> 00:00:13,745
Should we get
a new map now?
8
00:00:13,841 --> 00:00:16,415
Constable Eccles
was the only witch.
9
00:00:16,473 --> 00:00:18,498
Did you ever think
that it might be possible
10
00:00:18,556 --> 00:00:20,238
to save the life
of someone you lost?
11
00:00:20,381 --> 00:00:21,944
I can go back
and save Claire.
12
00:00:22,031 --> 00:00:24,557
I got to figure out
how to travel back a year
13
00:00:24,621 --> 00:00:26,088
to save my wife,
and the only way
14
00:00:26,146 --> 00:00:27,374
I'm going
to be able to do that
15
00:00:27,432 --> 00:00:28,987
is if I find this guy,
Gerard DuQuette.
16
00:00:29,752 --> 00:00:31,954
♪♪
17
00:00:37,131 --> 00:00:40,029
♪♪
18
00:00:45,469 --> 00:00:47,860
She has much milk in her
this morning.
19
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,820
When I think
of how much money
20
00:00:49,878 --> 00:00:51,570
this milk will fetch
at market,
21
00:00:51,769 --> 00:00:53,594
it's as if her teats
were full of diamonds.
22
00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:55,511
♪♪
23
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:58,332
I know if my manly bosom
could produce diamonds,
24
00:00:58,419 --> 00:01:00,334
I would fill bucket
after bucket.
25
00:01:02,038 --> 00:01:05,696
Of precious,
precious man-boob diamonds.
26
00:01:11,214 --> 00:01:13,858
♪♪ Discordant music plays...
27
00:01:13,915 --> 00:01:15,948
♪♪
28
00:01:16,106 --> 00:01:17,733
You're out of milk.
29
00:01:21,597 --> 00:01:25,355
♪♪
30
00:01:26,182 --> 00:01:29,838
♪♪
31
00:01:31,402 --> 00:01:35,165
♪♪
32
00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:40,512
♪♪
*STAN AGAINST EVIL*
Season 02 Episode 07
Title: "Mirror Mirror
33
00:02:03,341 --> 00:02:04,858
Let's do this.
34
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,200
These, uh...
35
00:02:09,348 --> 00:02:11,192
These are the eyeballs
of that thing.
36
00:02:11,379 --> 00:02:13,956
It came up out of Evie's grave
and tried to kill us.
37
00:02:16,979 --> 00:02:20,429
Looked like... a big pile of crap
covered in bullshit.
38
00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:23,841
Oh, I remember, Sheriff.
39
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,039
The Wraith?
40
00:02:27,589 --> 00:02:29,487
Why do you want
to go into the past?
41
00:02:29,646 --> 00:02:32,213
Not that I consider you
particularly "modern."
42
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,102
Oh, you got that right,
buster.
43
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,996
This country ain't been the same
since Evel Knievel died.
44
00:02:37,155 --> 00:02:38,529
Here's
the bottom line...
45
00:02:38,845 --> 00:02:41,991
I got to back to last year
and save my wife's life.
46
00:02:42,049 --> 00:02:43,696
No!
No! No!
47
00:02:43,754 --> 00:02:45,502
Absolutely not,
Mr. Miller.
48
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,169
- See?
- I...
49
00:02:47,304 --> 00:02:50,284
Evel Knievel.
They told him no, too.
50
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,982
You can't jump
over Caesar's Palace.
51
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,985
He did.
You can't jump ove
52
00:02:55,043 --> 00:02:56,531
13 double-decker busses.
53
00:02:56,618 --> 00:02:57,872
He did.
54
00:02:57,930 --> 00:03:00,429
You can't jump over
Snake River Canyon,
55
00:03:00,538 --> 00:03:01,804
and he damn sure did.
56
00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:03,001
No, he didn't.
57
00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:04,539
He crashed every one
of those times.
58
00:03:04,626 --> 00:03:07,144
But he tried.
He tried like a man.
59
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,987
A man in a skin-tight
leather jumpsuit
60
00:03:10,091 --> 00:03:13,349
with a beautiful cape,
good hair, a helmet, and...
61
00:03:13,936 --> 00:03:16,583
I've gotten off-topic.
62
00:03:17,183 --> 00:03:18,632
Listen to me.
63
00:03:19,147 --> 00:03:21,642
I got to find this guy,
Gerard DuQuette.
64
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:22,724
So?
65
00:03:22,782 --> 00:03:24,095
So...
66
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:25,645
That's where
you come in.
67
00:03:25,827 --> 00:03:27,672
He's been dead
for 400 years.
68
00:03:27,796 --> 00:03:33,177
He's some kind of black magic,
sorcery assface.
69
00:03:35,141 --> 00:03:37,524
Won't you do it
for Claire?
70
00:03:39,301 --> 00:03:41,179
Please?
71
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,517
The hell is that?
72
00:03:48,735 --> 00:03:51,754
Sage.
It purifies the room.
73
00:03:52,004 --> 00:03:54,868
Smells like a pregnant raccoon
died in your chimney.
74
00:03:57,554 --> 00:03:59,243
Eh.
75
00:04:00,613 --> 00:04:04,655
From the Great Lady
and The Seven Winds,
76
00:04:04,865 --> 00:04:07,029
I summon Charon,
77
00:04:07,211 --> 00:04:10,846
blessed ferryman
of the river Styx.
78
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:14,682
We summon Gerard DuQuette,
79
00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:18,120
denizen of the Otherworld.
80
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:21,076
Yeah.
What she said.
81
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,580
Ow!
82
00:04:23,759 --> 00:04:25,074
Nails.
83
00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:33,034
Da Rakom, Ossun, Hekuba,
I summon thee all,
84
00:04:34,046 --> 00:04:39,898
Da Rakom Ossun, Hekuba,
I summon thee all.
85
00:04:42,591 --> 00:04:45,023
♪♪
86
00:04:47,197 --> 00:04:50,294
♪♪
87
00:04:50,381 --> 00:04:51,963
Now what?
88
00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:54,112
Does the doorbell ring,
he pops out of a cake,
89
00:04:54,170 --> 00:04:55,552
and gives me a nobjob?
90
00:04:55,776 --> 00:04:58,540
I don't understand.
91
00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:01,608
I... I've had
weak responses before,
92
00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:03,126
but never just nothing.
93
00:05:03,292 --> 00:05:04,387
Well...
94
00:05:04,592 --> 00:05:05,980
Maybe he was
gonna show up,
95
00:05:06,038 --> 00:05:08,499
but then he got a load
of that crap you burnt.
96
00:05:09,302 --> 00:05:11,056
I know
what I should have said.
97
00:05:11,384 --> 00:05:14,848
It smells like somebody popped
a balloon full of clown farts.
98
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,827
Worst...
99
00:05:18,209 --> 00:05:20,027
Seance...
100
00:05:20,806 --> 00:05:21,935
Ever.
101
00:05:27,084 --> 00:05:31,817
♪♪ Discordant music plays...
102
00:05:32,151 --> 00:05:33,617
Hellooo?
103
00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:36,021
What?
104
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,608
Denise?
105
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,749
♪♪ Music continues...
106
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,266
Is that you?
107
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,078
I don't think so.
108
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:53,007
♪♪
109
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:57,097
♪♪
110
00:05:57,395 --> 00:05:58,458
Are you...?
111
00:05:58,533 --> 00:05:59,847
I am.
112
00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:03,167
♪♪
113
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:06,340
- Constance Eccles told me...
- I know.
114
00:06:08,392 --> 00:06:10,059
Why weren't you
at the seance?
115
00:06:10,254 --> 00:06:11,827
I had a thing.
116
00:06:12,337 --> 00:06:14,267
Lookit.
117
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:17,085
- I got to figure out ow to...
- How to use
118
00:06:17,191 --> 00:06:18,491
the eyes of the Wraith
119
00:06:18,549 --> 00:06:21,798
to travel back just one year
instead of 400
120
00:06:21,856 --> 00:06:24,323
so that you can save
your dear wife's life.
121
00:06:24,724 --> 00:06:26,360
- Correct?
- Exactly!
122
00:06:26,704 --> 00:06:28,419
This is terrific.
123
00:06:29,006 --> 00:06:30,246
How do I do it?
124
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:31,930
Do you like riddles?
125
00:06:31,988 --> 00:06:33,951
No, I'm straight.
126
00:06:34,485 --> 00:06:37,085
The first person
is your passage
127
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:39,336
on the time-travel
express.
128
00:06:39,547 --> 00:06:41,463
You can go
wherever they go,
129
00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:43,600
on the day
they're laid to rest.
130
00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:49,478
You have 24 hours
to solve the riddle.
131
00:06:50,592 --> 00:06:53,131
You fail, you die.
132
00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:55,531
That's a little different
than the way they used to do it
133
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:56,853
in the Reader's Digest.
134
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,371
Makes it fun for me.
135
00:07:00,374 --> 00:07:04,051
♪♪
136
00:07:04,179 --> 00:07:07,831
♪♪
137
00:07:08,099 --> 00:07:11,173
24 hours.
138
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,003
Later, tater.
139
00:07:15,122 --> 00:07:17,126
♪♪
140
00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:18,704
Hey.
141
00:07:19,081 --> 00:07:22,201
♪♪
142
00:07:22,416 --> 00:07:23,732
How do I die?
143
00:07:24,131 --> 00:07:27,903
♪♪
144
00:07:31,798 --> 00:07:35,656
Maybe you'll
do something so horrible
145
00:07:35,714 --> 00:07:37,479
that the people
of Willard's Mill
146
00:07:37,566 --> 00:07:42,198
will band together
and kill you themselves.
147
00:07:49,442 --> 00:07:52,636
Oh, crap.
148
00:07:58,449 --> 00:08:01,034
♪♪
149
00:08:01,191 --> 00:08:02,688
Denise, honey,
you, uh...
150
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,226
You're good at pu...
151
00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:08,150
puzzles,
aren't you?
152
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,742
Oh, Leon called to say
"Thank you for the fudge."
153
00:08:10,829 --> 00:08:12,059
I beg your pardon?
154
00:08:12,122 --> 00:08:14,189
Apparently you went down
to the station this morning
155
00:08:14,247 --> 00:08:15,622
and you brought him
some fudge.
156
00:08:15,716 --> 00:08:16,911
♪♪ Discordant note plays...
157
00:08:17,004 --> 00:08:18,446
That...
158
00:08:19,058 --> 00:08:20,483
wasn't me.
159
00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:22,405
Are you sure
it wasn't you?
160
00:08:22,623 --> 00:08:24,290
Why would I lie
about fudge?
161
00:08:24,377 --> 00:08:27,741
Well, we've all made
a bad batch of fudge before
162
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,361
and we lied about it.
163
00:08:29,448 --> 00:08:31,475
Shame Fudge is real,
164
00:08:31,533 --> 00:08:33,109
but we don't let it
get us down.
165
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:35,284
We get back in the kitchen,
we roll up our sleeves,
166
00:08:35,342 --> 00:08:37,672
and we try agaaain!
167
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:49,548
Oh, shit.
168
00:08:52,106 --> 00:08:53,497
Oh.
169
00:08:56,923 --> 00:09:00,784
♪♪
170
00:09:01,965 --> 00:09:04,112
♪ Golly gee, I can't believe you're mine ♪
- Leon?
171
00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:05,535
Leon!
172
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:09,690
♪ And I'll have you
till the end of time ♪
173
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,548
What the hell
happened to you?
174
00:09:12,331 --> 00:09:13,981
The fudge.
175
00:09:14,585 --> 00:09:16,050
The fudge happened.
176
00:09:16,137 --> 00:09:20,574
♪ I could only long for your caress ♪
177
00:09:20,764 --> 00:09:22,435
I don't know what
you put in it...
178
00:09:22,517 --> 00:09:23,626
That wasn't me.
179
00:09:23,684 --> 00:09:25,700
Oh, yes, it was!
180
00:09:26,002 --> 00:09:27,732
♪♪
181
00:09:27,795 --> 00:09:29,530
Maybe you'll do
something so horrible
182
00:09:29,617 --> 00:09:32,484
that the good people of Willard's
Mill will kill you themselves.
183
00:09:32,691 --> 00:09:35,550
♪ Golly gee,
I can't believe you're mine ♪
184
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:36,730
Leon.
185
00:09:38,386 --> 00:09:40,420
Wheeee!
What was in the fudge?
186
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:41,869
Freedom!
187
00:09:42,036 --> 00:09:44,769
♪ Yes, I'll have you till the end of time ♪
- For my mind.
188
00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:49,335
I only got 14 hours.
I got to go.
189
00:09:49,393 --> 00:09:50,623
Wait!
190
00:09:50,708 --> 00:09:52,555
- Oh, no!
- I got a better idea.
191
00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:55,252
Why don't I kill you
and you go to Heaven
192
00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:57,509
and you call me,
tell me what you see?
193
00:09:59,189 --> 00:10:00,712
I'm scared.
194
00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:02,430
♪♪
195
00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:09,651
Oh, hi.
196
00:10:10,503 --> 00:10:13,815
Did you want to try
the seance again?
197
00:10:13,950 --> 00:10:15,594
That sounds delish.
198
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:16,862
J'entre?
199
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,178
Sure.
200
00:10:18,265 --> 00:10:19,656
Love the house.
201
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,705
You were just here
yesterday?
202
00:10:21,763 --> 00:10:23,078
Oh, snap.
203
00:10:24,313 --> 00:10:27,035
♪♪
204
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:28,732
Are you looking at my bum?
205
00:10:28,789 --> 00:10:30,419
No, Leon.
206
00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:32,367
Geranimo!
Leon.
207
00:10:32,764 --> 00:10:34,194
♪♪
208
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,748
We're gonna need the others
209
00:10:37,806 --> 00:10:40,259
- if we're gonna...
- I had a bucket like this once.
210
00:10:41,012 --> 00:10:42,597
Okay.
211
00:10:43,323 --> 00:10:44,623
Company!
212
00:10:49,497 --> 00:10:51,096
Oh, hi, Gordy!
213
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:52,345
Hello.
214
00:10:52,432 --> 00:10:53,629
Gordy the mailman?
215
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,204
You come in here,
you rascal.
216
00:10:56,402 --> 00:10:58,486
- Well, hello, Stan.
- Hi, Gordy.
217
00:10:58,573 --> 00:11:01,256
What's... What's that saying
you mailmen have?
218
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,490
Neither snow nor rain...
219
00:11:03,577 --> 00:11:05,992
Or sleet will stay
these couriers
220
00:11:06,071 --> 00:11:07,692
from their
appointed rounds.
221
00:11:07,803 --> 00:11:09,376
What about a bucket?
222
00:11:09,614 --> 00:11:11,031
Uh, I'm sorry, what?
223
00:11:11,118 --> 00:11:12,833
Would... Would that
stay you
224
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,053
from... from
your appointed rounds?
225
00:11:15,111 --> 00:11:16,259
A bucket?
226
00:11:16,317 --> 00:11:17,857
Ah!
227
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:23,611
He's on the move.
228
00:11:25,475 --> 00:11:26,999
Come here, you scamp.
229
00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:32,795
♪♪
230
00:11:32,853 --> 00:11:34,831
"The first person."
231
00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:37,556
The first person what?
232
00:11:38,119 --> 00:11:40,168
Hey, pretty lady.
233
00:11:40,369 --> 00:11:41,998
Look what I did.
234
00:11:42,445 --> 00:11:44,587
My brain did this
with my mind.
235
00:11:44,849 --> 00:11:46,135
And my hand.
236
00:11:46,193 --> 00:11:47,575
Leon,
I really got to go.
237
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:49,275
You can go
when Evie gets here.
238
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:50,555
When does
Evie get here?
239
00:11:50,642 --> 00:11:52,807
Tomorrow.
Today's her day off.
240
00:11:52,894 --> 00:11:54,559
I don't have
that kind of time.
241
00:11:55,645 --> 00:11:58,212
♪♪ Discordant music playing...
242
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:06,680
♪♪
243
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,207
Hello!
244
00:12:10,603 --> 00:12:12,073
Sh-Sheriff Barret, please.
245
00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:14,179
Call her at home.
She loves that.
246
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:15,848
♪♪
247
00:12:15,958 --> 00:12:18,437
I need you to draw
Eddie the Head on my back.
248
00:12:18,518 --> 00:12:20,918
- I beg your pardon?
- Eddie the Head.
249
00:12:21,568 --> 00:12:23,037
From Iron Maiden.
250
00:12:23,108 --> 00:12:24,658
I know who
Eddie the Head is.
251
00:12:24,770 --> 00:12:26,350
"Fear the Dark" much?
252
00:12:27,108 --> 00:12:28,662
Let me see.
253
00:12:30,264 --> 00:12:32,674
Oh, I think you're
really gonna like that.
254
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,035
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
255
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:38,125
As true today as it was then.
256
00:12:41,149 --> 00:12:42,280
Yello?
257
00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:46,519
Person speaking gibberish...
258
00:12:48,348 --> 00:12:50,170
Hey.
What happened?
259
00:12:50,351 --> 00:12:51,683
Gordy's dead.
260
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,418
The mailman.
261
00:12:53,505 --> 00:12:55,402
It was Stan.
262
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:58,059
Gor... Stan?!
What?
263
00:12:58,162 --> 00:13:00,293
Something seemed off
at first.
264
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,136
He was just so happy
and friendly.
265
00:13:03,414 --> 00:13:05,898
Oh, yeah, that definitely
does not sound like Stan.
266
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:07,147
God, I know.
267
00:13:07,234 --> 00:13:08,949
And you're sure
it was Stan?
268
00:13:09,036 --> 00:13:11,098
Yeah, it was him,
all right.
269
00:13:11,621 --> 00:13:13,238
He left you a message.
270
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:16,316
♪♪ Discordant music plays...
271
00:13:16,373 --> 00:13:20,113
♪♪
272
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:22,179
Hutchy much.
273
00:13:24,664 --> 00:13:27,313
So then, he came by,
like we had talked about.
274
00:13:27,384 --> 00:13:29,320
He... He was smiling,
very polite.
275
00:13:29,384 --> 00:13:30,539
Yeah, see,
that's the thing.
276
00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:31,913
I mean,
I can definitely imagine
277
00:13:31,971 --> 00:13:33,359
Stan killing someone
with a bucket,
278
00:13:33,417 --> 00:13:35,276
but this whole smiling,
polite thing?
279
00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:36,674
I mean,
that does not track.
280
00:13:36,829 --> 00:13:38,270
Mm.
281
00:13:38,677 --> 00:13:41,689
Speaking of which,
where's the, uh, body?
282
00:13:42,046 --> 00:13:43,327
Oh, that.
283
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,381
Just get here, please.
284
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,967
I had just hung up.
285
00:13:48,644 --> 00:13:50,111
Neither snow...
286
00:13:50,347 --> 00:13:51,823
nor rain...
287
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:55,156
nor sleet will stay... Oh!
288
00:13:55,609 --> 00:13:57,876
So, you're saying
this guy was... was dead,
289
00:13:57,934 --> 00:13:58,963
and then he just...
290
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:00,401
Walked right through
this room
291
00:14:00,459 --> 00:14:02,032
and right out
of that door.
292
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:04,614
What do you mean,
"Like we talked about"?
293
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:07,428
You said "Stan came by,
like we talked about."
294
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:10,160
Yeah. Stan came to me
to contact a spirit.
295
00:14:10,532 --> 00:14:11,695
Stan?
296
00:14:11,806 --> 00:14:13,751
Yeah, he wants
to travel back in time
297
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,300
to save his wife.
298
00:14:16,271 --> 00:14:17,816
Oh, no.
299
00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:20,159
No, no,
that's got to be so...
300
00:14:20,246 --> 00:14:21,743
Dangerous?
I told him.
301
00:14:21,963 --> 00:14:24,697
Look, we were trying to summon
the spirit of Gerard DuQuette,
302
00:14:24,784 --> 00:14:27,882
a practitioner of Black Magik
from the 17th century.
303
00:14:28,194 --> 00:14:29,884
Oh, that's a...
That's a great idea.
304
00:14:29,971 --> 00:14:31,237
Summon an evil wizard!
305
00:14:31,372 --> 00:14:33,305
But he didn't appear.
306
00:14:33,392 --> 00:14:34,804
Are you sure?
307
00:14:36,044 --> 00:14:37,925
Oh, my God,
that's Anti.
308
00:14:38,221 --> 00:14:41,647
This guy is still out there,
and everybody thinks he's Stan.
309
00:14:44,657 --> 00:14:45,972
I can't believe
310
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:48,221
there's a worse version
of Stan out there.
311
00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:50,523
I didn't know
that was possible.
312
00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:53,388
♪♪
313
00:14:55,415 --> 00:14:56,911
Mm-mm!
314
00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:59,246
Sheriff?!
315
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,534
These heirloom tomatoes?
316
00:15:02,084 --> 00:15:03,962
They are now!
317
00:15:04,095 --> 00:15:05,415
Martin!
318
00:15:05,508 --> 00:15:07,922
Ahhh!
Oh!
319
00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:12,026
♪♪ Funky music playing...
320
00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:14,804
Put that thing down, Leon.
I got to go.
321
00:15:14,862 --> 00:15:18,124
♪ Ain't no mistakin', there's a lot of
booties shakin' ♪
322
00:15:18,188 --> 00:15:19,341
♪ You can't stop 'em ♪
323
00:15:19,399 --> 00:15:20,935
Martin!
Sheriff Miller...
324
00:15:21,022 --> 00:15:22,022
♪ No, no ♪
325
00:15:22,108 --> 00:15:23,202
What is it?
326
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:24,982
♪ Them bootie cheeks ♪
327
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,003
♪ Got bitten by the beat ♪
328
00:15:27,065 --> 00:15:28,895
♪ Now you can't stop 'em ♪
329
00:15:28,982 --> 00:15:30,450
Neither the rain...
330
00:15:30,604 --> 00:15:32,262
nor snow...
331
00:15:32,437 --> 00:15:33,893
nor...
332
00:15:35,429 --> 00:15:36,911
sleet...
333
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,087
will keep these couriers...
♪ Well, well, well, well ♪
334
00:15:39,165 --> 00:15:41,670
from their appointed rounds...
♪ Can't stop the bootie shakin' ♪
335
00:15:41,727 --> 00:15:43,520
♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪
Pshoo!
336
00:15:43,578 --> 00:15:46,494
♪ Can't stop
the bootie shakin' ♪
337
00:15:46,588 --> 00:15:48,258
♪ Hey, hey ♪
338
00:15:50,101 --> 00:15:51,434
♪ Can't stop ♪
339
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,254
Yello?!
♪ The bootie ♪
340
00:15:53,312 --> 00:15:55,661
Oh!
Applesauce.
341
00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:58,907
Hello?
342
00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:00,893
Sheriff Miller did what
to your bird feeder?
343
00:16:02,348 --> 00:16:05,064
Well, sweetheart,
love takes many forms.
344
00:16:05,151 --> 00:16:06,581
Hello?
345
00:16:06,668 --> 00:16:08,449
Sheriff Miller
climbed up on your roof
346
00:16:08,536 --> 00:16:10,299
and took a dump down your chimney?
347
00:16:10,356 --> 00:16:12,992
Well, don't start a fire.
Hang on.
348
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,243
Hello?
349
00:16:14,555 --> 00:16:16,739
No, I don't want
to lower my credit score.
350
00:16:16,797 --> 00:16:18,375
Eat a bag of dicks!
351
00:16:18,438 --> 00:16:19,527
Hello?
352
00:16:19,614 --> 00:16:20,914
Oh, thank God, Stan.
353
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,415
Where have you
been all day?
354
00:16:22,502 --> 00:16:23,531
I've been here.
355
00:16:23,618 --> 00:16:24,864
Do you have a witness?
356
00:16:24,922 --> 00:16:27,149
Well, eh, more or less.
357
00:16:27,328 --> 00:16:29,062
Okay, uh,
second question.
358
00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:30,511
Have you happened
to have done
359
00:16:30,576 --> 00:16:32,024
anything incredibly
stupid lately,
360
00:16:32,082 --> 00:16:35,956
like... conjure the spirit
of a 17th-century evil wizard?
361
00:16:36,042 --> 00:16:37,859
We're gonna have
to put a pin in that one.
362
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:39,492
Stan, were you planning
on telling me
363
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:41,322
about your little
time-travelling scheme?
364
00:16:41,497 --> 00:16:43,174
It's complicated.
365
00:16:43,427 --> 00:16:45,812
Listen to me, there's a double
going around town
366
00:16:45,973 --> 00:16:49,108
pretending that he's me,
and he's causing... mischief.
367
00:16:49,195 --> 00:16:51,706
Yeah, you have no idea.
I'm on my way.
368
00:16:51,818 --> 00:16:53,258
No!
No, no, no, no, no.
369
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,961
You... You go ahead and meet me
at my house, up in Claire's room,
370
00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:57,567
and don't stop
to get your nails done.
371
00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:59,180
What are you...
I don't get my nails...
372
00:16:59,238 --> 00:17:00,696
Clock's ticking.
373
00:17:02,141 --> 00:17:03,443
Definitely him.
374
00:17:03,779 --> 00:17:05,156
All right, Leon.
375
00:17:05,453 --> 00:17:07,086
You're in charge.
376
00:17:10,398 --> 00:17:11,895
The guy said
I had 24 hours
377
00:17:11,953 --> 00:17:14,725
to solve this riddle
or I'm a dead man.
378
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:17,234
Uh-huh,
and how long ago was that?
379
00:17:18,227 --> 00:17:20,807
23 hours and 53 minutes.
380
00:17:21,143 --> 00:17:22,742
Who's counting?
381
00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:24,892
♪♪
382
00:17:25,132 --> 00:17:29,463
Wakey wakey,
eggs and bakey.
383
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,487
Come on,
tickle pickle.
384
00:17:34,506 --> 00:17:37,041
What the...?
385
00:17:38,159 --> 00:17:40,243
What the hell?
386
00:17:41,189 --> 00:17:42,904
What... What are you
doing here?
387
00:17:43,071 --> 00:17:44,827
I wanted to challenge you
388
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:48,719
to a game
of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
389
00:17:48,951 --> 00:17:50,665
O-Okay.
390
00:17:50,723 --> 00:17:52,171
♪♪
391
00:17:52,367 --> 00:17:54,544
For stabs.
392
00:17:56,747 --> 00:17:58,744
It's almost 12:00.
393
00:17:59,665 --> 00:18:00,894
♪♪
394
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:04,662
It's midnight.
395
00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:06,656
That's him.
396
00:18:06,714 --> 00:18:07,777
Ooh, I'll get it!
397
00:18:07,835 --> 00:18:09,046
She went downstairs.
398
00:18:09,104 --> 00:18:10,632
Denise!
399
00:18:13,370 --> 00:18:14,886
Oh, it's the ma...
400
00:18:16,216 --> 00:18:18,197
Hey!
Hey!
401
00:18:18,284 --> 00:18:19,387
Hey!
402
00:18:20,121 --> 00:18:21,707
Denise!
403
00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:23,736
Denise, are you okay?
404
00:18:23,823 --> 00:18:25,786
♪♪
405
00:18:28,376 --> 00:18:30,524
Go for his eyes!
406
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:33,146
Yeah, the eyes!
That's it, Stan!
407
00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,462
The eyes!
408
00:18:34,549 --> 00:18:35,596
I got it!
409
00:18:35,683 --> 00:18:37,665
Eyes!
The first person!
410
00:18:37,752 --> 00:18:38,884
Oh, I get it.
411
00:18:38,971 --> 00:18:40,152
That's clever.
412
00:18:40,239 --> 00:18:41,329
♪♪
413
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,991
The first person
is your passage
414
00:18:44,158 --> 00:18:46,202
on the time-travel
express.
415
00:18:46,462 --> 00:18:48,395
You can go
wherever they go
416
00:18:48,514 --> 00:18:50,678
on the day
they're laid to rest.
417
00:18:51,025 --> 00:18:53,899
You solve the riddle
and you'll know what to do.
418
00:18:58,050 --> 00:19:00,961
Good job, Dad! Take the mailman's eyes,
go back to yesterday,
419
00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:02,803
and then don't summon
Gerard DuQuette!
420
00:19:02,861 --> 00:19:04,922
♪♪
421
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,066
Come on, Dad!
422
00:19:07,124 --> 00:19:08,847
All right, Stan!
423
00:19:08,934 --> 00:19:10,364
Hold your horses.
424
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,636
You know what they say
about eyeballs.
425
00:19:13,495 --> 00:19:15,644
They don't gouge themselves out.
426
00:19:24,612 --> 00:19:27,467
Well,
that was a fun game.
427
00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:29,450
I win.
428
00:19:31,873 --> 00:19:33,121
♪♪
429
00:19:42,708 --> 00:19:45,095
What's in the bag,
Stan?
430
00:19:45,182 --> 00:19:48,383
You said I had 24 hours
to solve the riddle.
431
00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:50,042
And I did.
432
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:51,745
It's the eyes.
433
00:19:51,910 --> 00:19:54,216
The first person
is the eyes.
434
00:19:54,303 --> 00:19:57,701
♪♪
435
00:19:58,028 --> 00:20:00,189
Indeed you did.
436
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:03,264
Get on it,
little man.
437
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:09,485
♪♪ Discordant music playing...
438
00:20:09,685 --> 00:20:13,549
♪♪
439
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:27,058
It worked.
440
00:20:29,472 --> 00:20:31,050
♪♪
441
00:20:31,108 --> 00:20:35,766
♪ Golly gee,
I can't believe you're mine ♪
442
00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:40,714
♪ And I'll have you till the end of time ♪
[Screams]
443
00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:45,382
♪ I was in the shadows
of loneliness ♪
444
00:20:45,469 --> 00:20:50,595
♪ I could only long
for your caress ♪
445
00:20:50,653 --> 00:20:52,923
♪ Suddenly, to my surprise ♪
Ahh!
446
00:20:53,092 --> 00:20:55,274
♪ The time is right ♪
447
00:20:55,332 --> 00:21:00,215
♪ To wrap myself around you
and hold you tight ♪
448
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:04,902
♪ Golly gee,
I can't believe you're mine ♪
449
00:21:04,989 --> 00:21:08,739
♪ And I'll have you
till the end of time ♪
450
00:21:08,858 --> 00:21:11,033
Sweetheart,
I'm sorry about this.
451
00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:13,496
♪ I was in the shadows
of loneliness ♪
452
00:21:13,583 --> 00:21:14,963
You'll thank me later.
453
00:21:15,021 --> 00:21:19,395
♪ I could only long
for your caress ♪
454
00:21:19,751 --> 00:21:24,502
♪ Suddenly, to my surprise,
the time is right ♪
455
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:28,218
♪ To wrap myself around you
and hold you tight ♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
29844
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof