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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,732 (SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,137 (CHILDREN SQUEALING EXCITEDLY) 3 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,151 Brad! 4 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:19,994 - Bye, Daddy! - Bye, sweetie. 5 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,239 Bye-bye, guys. I'll pick you up on Monday! 6 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,911 - CHILDREN: Brad! - What's up? 7 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,994 Hey, Brad! Looking good, buddy! 8 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,582 - Dylan, where's your retainer? - I left it at Dad's. 9 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,129 Hey, where's your math workbook? 10 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,755 At Mom's house. 11 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,259 - Where are all your undies? - DYLAN: I don't know. 12 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,261 How do we got so many undies? 13 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,016 (ALL CHEERING) 14 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,434 DUSTY: Happy Birthday, buddy! 15 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,600 Brad already got me one. 16 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,056 - (CHILDREN CHEERING) - It was my idea! 17 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,436 It was my idea! 18 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,268 Hey, look at that. 19 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,519 Guys! 20 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,861 Daddy! 21 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,235 Oh! 22 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,703 Megan, hold up! 23 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:05,531 Whoa! 24 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,038 Ahh! 25 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,414 - Are you all right? - I'm okay. 26 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,712 - (GROANS) - (ALL EXCLAIM) 27 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,425 Right here! Don't... Don't leave without it. 28 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,719 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 29 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,266 Come on! Keep it moving! 30 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,514 Inside the cones! 31 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:28,438 Inside the cones like an ice cream. Let's go! 32 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:29,688 Braddie! 33 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,599 Here you go, buddy. 34 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,184 Oh. Thanks, Braddie. 35 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,519 - Hot cocoa? - Yeah. 36 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,479 Nice! Little marshmallows floating around there 37 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,439 all in formation. You are the greatest! 38 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,028 I put a little licorice root in there, too. 39 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,279 - DUSTY: Oh! - Tell me what you think. 40 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,906 - DUSTY: Hey, guys! - Daddies! 41 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,739 - Hey! Hi, how was your day? - Good. 42 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,748 BRAD: All right, guys, hop in. 43 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,917 I'll get them ready and I'll meet you at Tae Kwon Do. 44 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,082 - See you in 30. - Great. Looking forward to it. 45 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,587 - Bye. - CHILDREN: Bye, Dad! 46 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,006 - BRAD: Oh! - (BRAKES SCREECHES) 47 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,424 - Dusty! - Yeah? 48 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,339 Sorry. You made treats for tonight, right? 49 00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,464 No, I got the gift card. 50 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,544 I thought you were on treats tonight. 51 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,346 No. I did gift card and the treats for 52 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,843 the Halloween Spooktacular. 53 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,633 Oh, okay. Well, I guess I'll hit the bakery 54 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:06,763 - on the way to the pageant. - Bakery? 55 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,098 Unless you don't want me to go to the bakery. 56 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,645 Usually, when you repeat what I said 57 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:10,767 and you shake your head up and down, 58 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:11,938 it really means you don't want me to do it. 59 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,186 - I'm just thinking... - DUSTY: What? 60 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,608 - Maybe homemade? - (HORN HONKING) 61 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,108 Yeah. Hey! Honk at him again, you better count your teeth! 62 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,530 No problem, Braddie. Homemade snickerdoodles 63 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,697 coming right up. One for you, too. 64 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,364 Should we fist bump again or would it be awkward? 65 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,786 I don't mind a second bump. All right. 66 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,113 Thanks, buddy. See you tonight. 67 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,288 Bye, mate. Thanks so much for the cocoa. 68 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,448 CHILDREN: Bye, Daddy! 69 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,160 - (CRASHES) - Sorry. 70 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,919 BRAD: These look great. Thank you. 71 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,467 - Look at that. - Oh... 72 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,344 - Daddy! Karen! - Hey! Hey, guys. 73 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:45,094 Wow, look how sexy Karen looks. 74 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,175 Leather pants and side boob. 75 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,680 That's perfect for a school function. 76 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,311 Honey, let's expect good things, okay? 77 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,433 I know, you're right. Right. 78 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,935 - SARA: Hey! How's it going? - Hey. 79 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,353 BRAD: Hi. SARA: Hi. 80 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,773 Wow, look at you guys! 81 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,775 You and Mommy are so sassy all the time. 82 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:00,901 KAREN: Hi. SARA: Hi. 83 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,948 Oh, hey! I got your novel. 84 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,447 - It's amazing! - Oh, I'm glad you like it. 85 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,701 SARA: I don't know how you write 86 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:07,995 such powerful dialogue. 87 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,197 I mean, it must just come naturally, right? 88 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,281 Aww. 89 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:11,957 - Like everything else. - You're so sweet. 90 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,033 - Are you guys ready? - Let's go. 91 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,961 I want my shirt like Adrianna's. 92 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,334 Uh, no. No, no, no, honey. We're not doing that, okay? 93 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,382 Put that back in. Look like a nice kid. 94 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,927 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 95 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,471 PRINCIPAL HAYES: Welcome to the One Horse Open Sing! 96 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,969 Before we get started, notice we have 97 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,644 several professional video and still photographers 98 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,687 to cover all your kids for free. 99 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,144 So you can all put your phones in your pockets, 100 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,727 relax, and just be in the moment. 101 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,148 (DEVICES BEEPING) 102 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,779 You don't care. 103 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,989 CHOIR: (SINGING) Dashing through the snow 104 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,158 In a one-horse open sleigh 105 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,946 O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way, hahaha 106 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,954 Bells on bobtail ring Making spirits bright 107 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,580 What fun it is to laugh and sing 108 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,957 A sleighing song tonight 109 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,123 ...eat candy Santas and smashed potatoes 110 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,298 and dressing up my dog 111 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,796 like a reindeer. 112 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,127 That's what Christmas means to me. 113 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,174 - Thank you. - (ALL CHEERING) 114 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,299 PRINCIPAL HAYES: And now we have Megan Mayron. 115 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,595 (BEEPING) 116 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,176 My name is Megan Mayron, 117 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,182 and I like Christmas presents a lot. 118 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,763 (ALL LAUGHING) 119 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,141 But I don't really like Christmas. 120 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,817 My daddy was at my first Christmases, 121 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,316 but I don't remember those ones. 122 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,990 Then we had some with no daddy at all. 123 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:27,825 Then Brad came, 124 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,278 but he was always trying way too hard 125 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,784 and making everyone feel uncomfortable. 126 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,240 Then Daddy came back, 127 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,999 and Brad did a pretend Christmas 128 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,952 to show Daddy that Brad was better than him. 129 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,580 So now we have to go to different houses 130 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,040 to have different Christmases. 131 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,916 Me and my brother wish we were like other families 132 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,376 and we had normal Christmases. 133 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,136 But we still like our Christmas presents. 134 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,555 I want to be very clear about that. 135 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:50,802 Thank you very much. 136 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,134 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 137 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,768 (JERRY LAUGHING) 138 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,013 Enjoy paying for therapy, boys! 139 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,806 You better shut your mouth, Jerry! 140 00:05:58,900 --> 00:05:59,936 Absolutely, Dusty. 141 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,813 (SIGHING) 142 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,145 We're messing up our kids, Brad, and it's on you. 143 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,147 On me? Why is it on me? 144 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,657 Because before you came around we only had one Christmas. 145 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,234 So it's on you. 146 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,364 SARA: Hold on, hold on. 147 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,535 We don't have to circle the wagons 148 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,409 every time one of the kids expresses a negative emotion. 149 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,706 They're fine. 150 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,037 Kids that get up in front of whole schools 151 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,084 and say they don't like Christmas aren't fine, Sara. 152 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:21,709 Well, she said she didn't like having two Christmases. 153 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,214 Which is on you. 154 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,046 So what if we all spend a Christmas together? 155 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,960 A Together Christmas. That's good. 156 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,636 Now you fixed it. See, that... 157 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,055 - Now it's off of you. - (BRAD GASPS) 158 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,556 Let's invite Adrianna's dad, too. 159 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,716 - What? - Yes. 160 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:34,971 Are you being serious right now? No! 161 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,226 Put that hand down. 162 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,599 I've been nothing but nice to that guy, 163 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,055 and he treats me like I abducted his kid. 164 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,139 I'm not doing that. 165 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,558 Why are you messing up the mood now, all right? 166 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,187 We wanna go tell the kids my great idea 167 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,394 about the Together Christmas. 168 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,065 Wait, how did it become your idea? 169 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,731 It was your idea, but I named it Together Christmas. 170 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,866 People of Bikini Bottom... 171 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,910 Hey, guys? 172 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,197 Guys. Listen up, I got a surprise. 173 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,786 Hello? 174 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,454 - Guys. We got a big surprise! - A surprise? 175 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,043 - Another pony? - A trampoline? 176 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,123 You leaving? 177 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,503 Not quite, okay? But, no, 178 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,755 we got something better than that, okay? 179 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,215 So much better. It's gonna be great. 180 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,046 Guys, this year, no more back and forth at Christmas. 181 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,802 - No back and forth. - Nope. I just said that. 182 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,557 No more back and forth at Christmas. 183 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,101 This year, we're gonna spend one Christmas 184 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,723 - all together, all of us! - BOTH: Yay! 185 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:19,894 All of us. A Together Christmas! 186 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,062 A Together Christmas! 187 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,230 Can you be quiet? 188 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,433 A Together Christmas like a normal family! 189 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,562 - Yay! - (CELL PHONE RINGING) 190 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:25,689 I'll get it. 191 00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:27,896 Hello? 192 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,571 Grandpa Kurt? 193 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,568 Daddy, Grandpa Kurt wants to talk to you. 194 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,364 SARA: No, no, no. Dusty, I'll just tell him... 195 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,412 No. It's okay, Sara. 196 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:38,990 Thank you. 197 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:40,824 Thanks, buddy. 198 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,587 What, Dad? 199 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,007 Yeah, long time. 200 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,675 No, I'm fine. 201 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,585 - Tomorrow? - No. 202 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:54,005 I could probably pick you up, I guess, but... 203 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,840 Hey! Psst! Guess what? My folks are coming tomorrow. 204 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:56,924 I don't care. 205 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:59,101 - We can go together. - You shut up. 206 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:03,522 Dad, do you want to just text... Hello? 207 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:04,939 (SIGHS) 208 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,057 Dusty, listen to me, I think you're approaching this 209 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,739 with way too much negative energy. 210 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:13,990 Brad, you don't know what you're talking about, 211 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,739 so shut your fat hole! 212 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,661 - Dusty. - (SIGHS) 213 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,864 I'm sorry, Braddie. I'm sorry. 214 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,540 You see what he does to me? 215 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:22,707 He's not even here yet, 216 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:23,955 and he's already ruining Christmas. 217 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,128 - Okay, okay, relax. Relax. - I can't! 218 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:29,377 Look, your father hasn't met the new evolved Dusty. 219 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,552 You're a progressive, sensitive, child-first parent. 220 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:33,802 That's exactly the stuff he's gonna 221 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:34,969 make fun of us for. You'll see. 222 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,548 He's gonna scoff at everything we do. He's a scoffer, Brad. 223 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,508 Pepe, you have a grown son, right? 224 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:40,638 Sí. 225 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:43,392 Why don't you tell Dusty here how much your son means to you 226 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,222 in this season of good cheer? 227 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,902 My son is an abysmal disappointment whose birth I regret more each day. 228 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,320 - You see? - He didn't say nice things 229 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:52,487 like you think he did, Brad. 230 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,027 Dusty, you're being silly. 231 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,824 I mean, who wouldn't be impressed with you? 232 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,784 Come on. (GASPS) 233 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,987 Dear God! 234 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,288 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 235 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,909 He looks as if he's been chiseled 236 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,335 from Gibraltar itself. 237 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,051 This is gonna come off weird, Dusty, but he's beautiful! 238 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,218 I want to be his friend so bad. 239 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,438 - Dusty. (CHUCKLES) - Hey, Pop. 240 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,811 - How was your flight? - Not bad. 241 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,192 Took 20 minutes to get to the gate though. 242 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,239 What's with that bottleneck you got out there, huh? 243 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:39,322 I'm sorry our local airport tarmac's 244 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,528 not up to your standards, huh? 245 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,580 I'm sorry. I didn't realize you designed this airport, 246 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,032 or I'd have been more sensitive. 247 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,285 Oh, I guess I'll move to a new town with a better airport 248 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:48,494 that way you won't be inconvenienced 249 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,954 when you show up every five years or so. 250 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,540 (CHUCKLES) Same old Mr. Touchy. I love it. 251 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,591 Here you go, Pancho. Why don't you bring the car around, 252 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,713 we'll meet you at the curb. 253 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,010 Right away, sir. 254 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,965 I mean, no, I'm sorry, I'm not the driver. 255 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,389 No, I'm Brad. 256 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,549 The stepdad. 257 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,639 - This is Sara's husband. - Why is he with you? 258 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,062 (GASPS) Dad! 259 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,181 (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING) 260 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,351 That sweater! He wears the red sweater, 261 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,481 so I can see him in a crowd. 262 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:17,947 Dad! 263 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,196 That's him, that's Dad. 264 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,535 (GRUNTS) 265 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,457 Dad! Dad! 266 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,125 (LAUGHING) 267 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,127 I made a sign! 268 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,632 There's my big man! 269 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,549 (BOTH LAUGHING) 270 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,726 And this guy's raising your kids half the time? 271 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,020 He hasn't seen his dad in a really long time. 272 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,646 It's only been since Thanksgiving, 273 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,064 but it feels like forever! 274 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,600 - It does! - BOTH: Oh! 275 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,066 Four weeks? It's been a few years for us. 276 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,814 What should we do? Want me to take my pants off? 277 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,069 BRAD: Hey, where's Mom? 278 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,692 You didn't get her text? 279 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,369 Uncle Arny came down with a bad case of the shingles. 280 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,913 - Oh, no. - So Mom's staying back 281 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,411 - to take care of him. - Okay. 282 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,037 But, hey, you still got me. 283 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,411 I sure do. I sure do! 284 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,712 BOTH: Oh! 285 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,210 BRAD: We're gonna have the best time. 286 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,216 (GASPS) Oh! Dusty! 287 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:21,128 - Hey, Don. - Hey, Muscles, come here! 288 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,889 (STAMMERS) I've got a cold. Stay away. Don, Don! 289 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,051 Say, Dusty, Brad told me about this 290 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,681 Together Christmas we're doing. 291 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:32,724 You two are such wonderful, progressive co-dads. 292 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:33,891 Co-dads? 293 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,559 Oh, I'm so sorry. Mr. Mayron, 294 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,814 this is my father, Don Whitaker. 295 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,397 The pleasure is all mine, Captain! 296 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,733 You piloted the Space Shuttle Atlantis 297 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,743 in 1992 and commanded the Endeavour 298 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,286 on three missions in 1994! 299 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,280 All right, come on, we're out this way. 300 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,994 Thanks, Dusty. 301 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,746 Say, Kurt, did you meet 302 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,543 any interesting folks on your flight? 303 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,459 - I met a Scotch and a pillow. - (LAUGHS) 304 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,836 You know, actually, I always pick the flights 305 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,884 that have the most connections so that 306 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,589 I get to chat with as many new people as possible. 307 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,890 Oh, so you're a lunatic. Good to know. 308 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,884 DON: That's me! (LAUGHS) 309 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,061 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 310 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,735 (GRUNTS) Looks like one of your neighbors 311 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,483 is getting an oversized parcel. 312 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,447 Hello! 313 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,242 Don Whitaker, United States Postal Service! 314 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,694 Retired, but never too old 315 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,450 to lend a hand to a fellow carrier. 316 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,326 KURT: Brad, I gotta tell you, 317 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,123 this baby sure gives you a smooth ride. 318 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:33,458 Oh, thank you, Kurt. 319 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,752 Yeah, it is surprisingly responsive. 320 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:36,874 Brad, he's not... 321 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,627 So do they take your balls right there at the dealership, 322 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,048 or do you send them in with the registration? 323 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,215 How does it work exactly? 324 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,593 No, no, they didn't take my balls. 325 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:43,715 Just $2,000 down. 326 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,050 This your place, Dusty? I pictured it nicer. 327 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,677 BRAD: Yeah, Dusty's house is nicer. 328 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,883 This is my house. Just thought 329 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,100 you'd like to step in and see the kids. 330 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,261 Only if it's okay. 331 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,641 Look, we don't want to infringe on your days. 332 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,727 (SCOFFS) Of course, don't be silly. Come on, guys. 333 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,524 You got to ask another man's permission 334 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,817 to see your own kids? 335 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,065 (SCOFFS) Unbelievable. 336 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,233 We're back! With more daddies! 337 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:08,114 Hey! Look how big you two got! 338 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,454 Come on. Don't I get a hug? Come on! 339 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,781 (KURT CHUCKLES) 340 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,532 And who's this barroom brawler? 341 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,201 MEGAN: He's our brother, Griffy, silly. 342 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,703 Hey, come here, pardner. Dusty, you never told me. 343 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,380 - Why, he looks just like you. - Yeah, not my kid. 344 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,132 Oh, no, no, no. I fathered that one. 345 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,214 Oh. Ah, then how does he relate to me then? 346 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,046 Well, he is the brother of your grandkids, Kurt. 347 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,215 - Oh. Here, here. - Oh. Okay. 348 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,054 Hey, looking good, Buttercup. 349 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,559 Good to see you. 350 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,892 - Look who's here! - BOTH: Pop-Pop! 351 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,018 (LAUGHS) 352 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,815 - Tell us a Pop-Pop joke! - Ooh, ooh. 353 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,813 What's a good one? Uh, why does a duck have feathers? 354 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:41,893 BOTH: Why? 355 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,405 - To cover up his butt quack. - (ALL LAUGHING) 356 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,029 Hey, kids, I got a good one for you. 357 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,325 Two dead hookers 358 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:50,448 - wash up on the shore... - Hey, hey! 359 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,200 - Whoa, whoa, shut up. - No way. No way. 360 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,374 - Sara. How's my girl? - Hi! 361 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,868 What, Ginny couldn't make it? 362 00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,245 Oh, she feels terrible. 363 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,626 But she sent a batch of her special cookies! 364 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,042 Is there milk in that kitchen? 365 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,092 MEGAN: Yay! DON: I want the first one. 366 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,045 I get the first one! 367 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,723 So he gets to be Pop-Pop and I'm just Grandpa Kurt? 368 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,010 What? I'm in charge of the cutesy grandpa names now? 369 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,184 Look, if you want a better name, 370 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,352 maybe try showing up a little more often. 371 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,477 Tell the kids, from now on, it's El Padre. 372 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,897 No more hooker jokes. 373 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,855 These don't taste like La-La's cookies. 374 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,156 They taste like Chips Ahoys. 375 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,701 DON: No, no. I sat right there in the kitchen 376 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,870 and watched Grandma bake them just yesterday. 377 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,029 DYLAN: I like them. 378 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,041 So, this co-dads thing, is that what you call it? 379 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,375 Yeah, that's what we call it. 380 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,795 So, on his watch, he disciplines your kids, 381 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,543 gives them advice, tucks them in, so forth 382 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:44,714 and that bothers you not a bit? 383 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,041 Doesn't bother me at all. 384 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,964 And his total lack of masculinity... 385 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,428 I mean, his weak chin 386 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,722 and soft underbelly influencing your son, 387 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,390 you're good there, too? Yeah? 388 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,766 You know what? I'm just feeling like 389 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,138 maybe you guys want a little privacy. 390 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:57,894 Stay right there, Brad, all right? 391 00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,642 He's just trying to stir the turd. 392 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,314 - (SCOFFS) - You can scoff all you want. 393 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,562 Everything is rock solid 394 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,314 between me and Brad here. In fact, 395 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,362 - best friends. - Really? (SNIFFLES) 396 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:08,905 - Thank you. - Brad. Stop it. 397 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,858 - I'm good. - DUSTY: Now. He gets 398 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,113 really emotional. Brad. 399 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,779 - Hey. Brother. - Did you call me "brother"? 400 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,534 B-Dawg. Chill out, man. Relax. 401 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,164 All right? Cut it out. 402 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,292 - Brad, don't. - I know. 403 00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,794 Stop. All right, look. Hey. Brad, stop! 404 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:25,965 Looks like you two guys have a real solid arrangement. 405 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,292 You're spending Christmas together and everything. 406 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,628 Speaking of which, whose place are we doing that at? 407 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,797 We're totally happy to host if it makes it easier. 408 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,472 Yeah, we could do it at my place. I got more room. 409 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,551 We can do presents at our place, dinner at yours. 410 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,468 Nah, all that back and forth, who needs that? 411 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,770 This place, that place. 412 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:43,065 Why don't I book us a great vacation spot 413 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,983 for all of us, and we can all spend 414 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,310 the holiday week together? 415 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:47,561 - Yay! Cool! - Thanks, El Padre. 416 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:48,691 (SPEAKS SPANISH) 417 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,693 - (DUSTY AND BRAD MOUTHING) - DON: I love this idea! 418 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,069 It's something extra Christmasy, 419 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,278 with lots of snow and family activities for all of us. 420 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,949 Dad, I'm just worried about finding a place, 421 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,280 you know, this close to the holiday. 422 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,121 - (BEEPS) - Booked it! Airbnb. All done. 423 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,956 - Yay, El Padre! - (KURT LAUGHS) 424 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,253 It's gonna be so fun, 425 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,626 since we're all such great friends, huh? 426 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,632 BRAD: Off to the mountains. Here we go, Griffy. 427 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,463 - SARA: Here we go. - Big fun trip! 428 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,298 DUSTY: Let me get that for you, Sara. 429 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,724 - SARA: Thank you. - You're welcome. 430 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,472 You know, Dusty, I think you and Kurt 431 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,474 spending some time around me and my dad might do 432 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,138 you both some good. 433 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,432 Hey, don't you see what he's up to here? 434 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,686 He thinks you and me are harboring 435 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,983 bad feelings for one another 436 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,189 and sticking us together in some cabin 437 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,815 is gonna bring out whatever we're harboring. 438 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,480 But you're not, are you, Brad? 439 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,818 - I'm not what? - Harboring! 440 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,899 No, I'm not harboring anything. 441 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,029 Good, 'cause I'm not harboring anything either. 442 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,405 BRAD: Okay, well, let's use this as an opportunity 443 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,657 to show him that we're not harboring. 444 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:38,783 'Cause we're not harboring. 445 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,072 You're looking at one safe harbor right here. 446 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,202 DUSTY: All right, good. 447 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,373 You sure you want to pack it like that? 448 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,496 Is that how you're gonna do it? 449 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,918 Look, me and Brad got everything under control 450 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,370 as a team, okay? Right, Brad? 451 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,454 That's right. 452 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,834 Yeah, what would I know about travel? 453 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,211 I've only been to frickin' space. 454 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:51,584 What, did you pack the space shuttle yourself? 455 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,884 You pop the trunk, arrange all the bags 456 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,051 for you and your little space friends? 457 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,305 I did, as a matter of fact. Yes, I packed the shuttle. 458 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,633 That's so cool! 459 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,802 I love how you're always jotting down ideas 460 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,683 for your book in your little notepad. 461 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,267 People ever get crazy and think 462 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,894 you might be writing something bad about them? 463 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,028 Say, uh, Brad, would you mind doing some 464 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,447 "Yes, And" drills with me on the way? 465 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,109 "Yes, And" thank you for asking me. 466 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,113 I recently joined an improv comedy workshop. 467 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,038 Brad's been pushing me to do it for years. (CHUCKLES) 468 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,615 Because you're so funny. 469 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:24,996 Yeah, I enjoy it. 470 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,122 You should look into it, too, Kurt. 471 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,919 I'd rather look into a loaded gun. 472 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,962 - Did you hear that? - Did you just make that up? 473 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,873 - Zinger! - That's provocative, too. 474 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,716 You ready to let me do that, Mr. Stubborn? 475 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,468 - I got it. - KURT: It's never gonna fit. 476 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,178 Hey, kids, no, no, no, no, 477 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,973 why don't you jump into my car with Adrianna, all right? 478 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,425 So Grandpa Kurt here 479 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,478 can enjoy Pop-Pop's company on the way up. (CHUCKLES) 480 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,683 Already warmed up a spot 481 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,059 in the capsule for you, Captain! 482 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,228 Still never gonna fit. Ever. 483 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,354 No, I got it. It's fitting fine. 484 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,440 I just had to put it wheels-in. 485 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:03,288 (GRUNTS) Perfect fit! All right, let's go. 486 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,282 Hey, Adrianna, you know, when we're up there, 487 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,457 I can teach you how to snowboard. 488 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,001 You're not my dad. 489 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,295 All right. It's gonna be a fun trip. 490 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,469 BRAD: It's time for One-Word Story. 491 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:18,719 Anyone can join in, 492 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:19,887 doesn't have to be just Dad and I. 493 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:21,966 You always give us the best start. 494 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,476 - Uncle... - ...Thomas... 495 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,019 - ...went... - ...tiptoeing... 496 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,304 BRAD:...into the... 497 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,938 ...Empire State Building. 498 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,141 (BOTH LAUGHING) 499 00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,816 Where were you going with that one? 500 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:35,320 This all took place at the pancake breakfast! 501 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,106 (SINGING) Fifty-six bottles of beer on the wall 502 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,610 Fifty-six bottles of beer 503 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,867 "G." Georgia, Georgia license plate! 504 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,782 Ready, and... Quiet Game. 505 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,290 - I'm terrible at this game! - I can't do it! 506 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,959 - I just can't do it. - I hate the Quiet Game! 507 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,542 (DON AND BRAD CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 508 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,471 DON: We always liked the Shimpahs. 509 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,147 BRAD: The movers thought the Shimpahs' house 510 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,021 was our house and almost moved us in there! 511 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,602 DON: The wrong family! We would've been 512 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:16,812 living with the Shimpahs! 513 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,605 BRAD: Which I wouldn't have minded, 514 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,442 'cause I had a huge crush on Vicky Shimpah. 515 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:22,571 (BRAD AND DON LAUGHING) 516 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,028 Oh, Dad, thank you. 517 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,078 You make a five-hour trip go by like that! 518 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,955 DON: I just wanted everybody to have a good time. 519 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,661 Nothing like a nice, relaxing road trip, huh, Dad? 520 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,042 KURT: Ah, it was nothing. 521 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,336 I've been in a confined space with a chimp. 522 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:36,085 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 523 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,894 (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) Dylan's got a girlfriend! 524 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,483 No, I don't! Be quiet! 525 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:56,734 MEGAN: Yeah, you love her. 526 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,653 You want to buy her flowers and kiss her on the lips. 527 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,485 Stop it! It's not funny! 528 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,274 SARA: Megan! What did I say 529 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,575 about teasing your brother about girls? 530 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,326 She's still doing it. And she drilled him 531 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,699 in the head with a snowball too. 532 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,659 (SOFTLY) Well, I'm not her mother. 533 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,157 Now, go take your brother inside, 534 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,332 please. Go on, sweetie. 535 00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:12,492 MEGAN: Come on, Griffy. 536 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:15,003 So Dylan's started noticing the girls, huh? 537 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,376 You know, I think it's gonna be time to give him the talk. 538 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,339 The talk? You mean the talk about the nitty-gritty? 539 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,174 - The "nitty-gritty"? - I'm on it, Sar-Bear. 540 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,804 I've been looking forward to this for a long time. 541 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,256 I got a whole speech prepared, all right? 542 00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:27,766 It's all heartwarming stuff. 543 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,143 I'm sure you and Brad will do a bang-up job with that. 544 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,225 Unless, uh, this isn't a co-dadding moment? 545 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,981 - No. - No. 546 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,730 - I mean, no, of course it is. - It is. 547 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,144 - Yeah, it is. It's gonna be. - Okay, yeah. 548 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,319 Yeah, we're gonna talk to him together. 549 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,402 Oh, Dusty! I read about some gender-neutral flashcards. 550 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,241 - Flashcards. - Uh-huh. 551 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,489 He's got flashcards to teach your son how to score. 552 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:48,870 BRAD: No, of course not. 553 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,494 They cover human reproduction, puberty, and hygiene. 554 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,659 Okay, great. You tee it up with the flashcards, 555 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,627 and I'll knock it home with the heartwarming speech. 556 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:56,829 All right? We got this. 557 00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:57,996 You're all set. 558 00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,381 I'll never forget when 559 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:02,426 Brad first started asking questions about girls. 560 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,882 I took him out for "the talk." 561 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:08,094 He was so inquisitive and attentive. 562 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,306 Then I dropped him back off at his dorm. 563 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,385 Yeah... 564 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,395 Well, come on in. 565 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,770 (ALL EXCLAIM) 566 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,401 Hey, look, there's a game room! 567 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,320 KAREN: Wow. Adrianna, look. DYLAN: And a pool table! 568 00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:24,147 This is what I'm talking about. 569 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:25,322 Look at that view! 570 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,280 Look at all the mortise and tenon joinery! 571 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,661 Sittin' fat. 572 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,446 Your old man sure pulled the right rein 573 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,656 getting this place. 574 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,870 Oh, wow. I know. Better throw you a parade, huh? 575 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,452 (LAUGHING) Oh, I am really looking forward to that. 576 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,003 Well, you want the thank yous printed on the bass drums 577 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,455 or the sousaphone covers? 578 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,795 Hey, did anyone bring my bag in? 579 00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:48,047 My supervisor Clyde Unix... 580 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,217 He took over after Kirby Keller retired in '86. 581 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:54,056 Horse farm, upper peninsula of Michigan. 582 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,313 Gorgeous country, if you ever get the chance. 583 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,313 Wow. 584 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,319 Nice shower. (CHUCKLES) 585 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,401 That's weird. 586 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,908 No controls. 587 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,987 Hey, honey, how do you turn the shower on? 588 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,826 AUTOMATED VOICE: Shower on. 589 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,657 Off! Shower off! 590 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,326 AUTOMATED VOICE: Shower off. 591 00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:19,828 Gosh! Ooh! 592 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,589 Voice-activated water. Cool. 593 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,757 - AUTOMATED VOICE: Water cool. - (YELLS) 594 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,006 - Off! Shower off! - AUTOMATED VOICE: Shower off. 595 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,091 - Water... Cool... - Water. Shower cool. 596 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:30,927 - Cool the water. - Water cool. 597 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,887 Water off! Turn off! 598 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,220 Off. 599 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:37,679 Oh, my God! 600 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,230 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 601 00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:40,352 SARA: Oh! 602 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,604 You scored on yourself. Friendly fire. 603 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:44,189 KAREN: Eight ball, corner pocket. 604 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,771 - KURT: Ooh! No slashing. - Yeah. 605 00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,689 - Good job, babe. - Thank you, babe. 606 00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:50,947 SARA: (GROANS) Come on, Sara! 607 00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:52,869 No, that is holding. 608 00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:56,827 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYS LOUDLY) 609 00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:58,283 It's too loud, Dylan! Turn it down! 610 00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,413 I don't know how! 611 00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:01,119 Hey, hey, hey, turn that down! 612 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,045 Griffy's asleep. 613 00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,215 (LOWERS VOLUME) 614 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,134 Why are you dressed like a woman, Brad? 615 00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:09,340 Oh, I can't find my stuff. 616 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,137 Are you sure you got my bag to fit in the car? 617 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:12,639 Yeah, of course. It fit perfect. 618 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,800 Look, can we skip this one? I can't stand this song. 619 00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:17,932 - Skip it. Skip it, guys. - Oh, no, no, no! No, Sara. 620 00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:19,596 This is a great song. 621 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,190 This is my real dad's favorite Christmas song. 622 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,066 Yeah, well, I'm glad it makes him happy. 623 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:25,856 You think I don't want to like this song? 624 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:27,027 Of course I want to, 625 00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:28,446 - it's a super uplifting song. - Yeah. 626 00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:29,989 But he ruined it for me. 627 00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:31,783 What are you talking about? 628 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,280 All right, so I'm 12 years old, 629 00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:34,451 and I join the Glee Club. 630 00:23:34,705 --> 00:23:35,695 (CHUCKLES) Glee Club. 631 00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:36,989 All my buddies in the neighborhood, 632 00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:38,289 they gave me crap over it, 633 00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:39,825 but I don't care, because for the holiday pageant 634 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:41,285 we're doing Do They Know It's Christmas?, 635 00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:43,875 and I was determined to land that Bono part. 636 00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:48,466 (SINGING) There's a world outside your window 637 00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:52,637 And it's a world of dread and fear 638 00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:56,466 Where the only water flowing is... 639 00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:57,968 DUSTY: So my buddy Derrick Lindmeyer 640 00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,553 is laying into the Sting part, 641 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,271 when out in the audience, what do I see? 642 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:05,188 My dad giving Scotty Kimball's mom a foot rub, 643 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,484 not even paying attention! 644 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:12,732 I totally missed the Bono part, 645 00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:14,362 and everybody made fun of me. 646 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,570 (GIGGLING) 647 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:21,909 (SINGING) And there won't be snow in Africa 648 00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:23,288 this Christmastime... 649 00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:26,087 I got no recollection of that. 650 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,163 Yeah, well, I do, all right? 651 00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:28,714 And I got a lot of other stories just like it. 652 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:29,874 Science Fair, you left with 653 00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:31,085 - Brian Higby's mom. - (SCOFFS) 654 00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,669 Little League regionals, you left with Mark Fitzgerald's 655 00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:33,924 mom and his aunt! 656 00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,930 (STAMMERS) Oh, yeah, now that I remember. 657 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:37,594 Yeah, yeah. That went into extra innings. 658 00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:38,846 Know what I mean, kid? (CHUCKLES) 659 00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:40,351 - No. - Ah. 660 00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:41,894 - (CUE STICK THUDS) - Nice. 661 00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:48,063 Dusty! Dusty! Come on. 662 00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:50,570 He's gonna ruin Christmas, Brad, I'm telling you. 663 00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:52,822 (SIGHS) Look, I hate to hit you with the tough love, 664 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,234 but the only person who can ruin your Christmas 665 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:58,574 is looking back at you from that mirror. 666 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:01,994 - All I see is you, Brad. - Oh. 667 00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:04,083 Okay. Well, sorry. Here. Here. 668 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,327 There. There we go. 669 00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:08,455 - Still you, Brad. - Is it? 670 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:09,713 - Yeah, it's still you. - Oh. 671 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:12,672 Okay, well, look, I'm looking at you, so I meant you. 672 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:14,211 Well, I'm looking at you, so I see you. 673 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:15,340 Forget the mirror. 674 00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:17,343 You're the only one who can ruin your Christmas. 675 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:18,506 Don't look at the mirror! 676 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,011 I'm still looking at you if I look in the mirror. 677 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,302 Don't worry about the mirror. That was bad. 678 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:23,682 - Forget the mirror exists. - Okay. 679 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:25,722 Let's just focus on those kids 680 00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:27,648 and giving them a better childhood than you had. 681 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:30,651 - You're right. - Yeah? 682 00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:31,728 It's about them. 683 00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:32,903 It's about giving them a better Christmas. 684 00:25:32,990 --> 00:25:34,026 There you go. 685 00:25:34,116 --> 00:25:35,106 Yeah, and then we jam that amazing Christmas 686 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,190 right in his butthole! 687 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:38,325 Yes, we do. Wait! Whoa, whoa! No. 688 00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:39,485 DUSTY: Yes! 689 00:25:39,997 --> 00:25:41,989 You know, Dusty, I'm, uh, just gonna take the mirror down. 690 00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:43,698 Then we don't have to worry about it. 691 00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:45,909 (ALL LAUGHING) 692 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:47,368 Yeah! 693 00:25:48,172 --> 00:25:49,663 MEGAN: Here we go. BRAD: Here we go. 694 00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,664 Hey, where's your glove? 695 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:52,749 (GRUNTS) 696 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,217 No! Griffy! 697 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:57,670 Excuse me. 698 00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,722 (GRUNTING) 699 00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,473 Griffy! 700 00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:02,800 (LAUGHING) 701 00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:04,389 Griffy! Hey! 702 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:06,562 (GASPS) Griffy! 703 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:08,557 Griffy! 704 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:10,896 - Watch out, honey! - (SARA GROANS) 705 00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:12,269 (YELPING) 706 00:26:14,281 --> 00:26:16,318 (GRIFFY BABBLING) 707 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,987 - (BRAD SCREAMING) - Is that Brad? 708 00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:21,744 (ALL EXCLAIM) 709 00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:23,571 DON: That's Brad! KURT: That's Brad. 710 00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,282 (PANTING) 711 00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,743 - DON: That boy never... - (ALL LAUGHING) 712 00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,498 Hey, come here. Look at this. (LAUGHING) 713 00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:37,839 - Mmm. Honey. - (GASPS) 714 00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:40,422 - Oh. - Ow! 715 00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:44,346 Dusty, you like that, huh? 716 00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:49,143 Let me capture this for posterity. 717 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,858 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 718 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,482 DON: The Nativity is a big deal in Terre Haute. 719 00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:58,399 This is the Redeemer, this is Abundant Life. 720 00:26:58,492 --> 00:26:59,482 Dad. 721 00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:02,285 - (STAMMERING) - Let's go, Pop-Pop. 722 00:27:04,748 --> 00:27:05,909 (COCKS GUN) 723 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,159 - It's real pretty. - We'll take the pretty gun. 724 00:27:09,378 --> 00:27:11,461 No. No, no, no, no. 725 00:27:12,005 --> 00:27:13,121 We're not gonna take that today 726 00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:15,172 'cause we are a gun-free family. 727 00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:18,335 Good Lord. What has he turned you into? 728 00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:21,550 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 729 00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:27,351 - Ahh! - Ha-ha! 730 00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:29,846 All right, throw it down! 731 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:32,015 All right, here it comes, Braddie! 732 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:39,776 Brad! 733 00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:47,326 SARA: Hey, honey! 734 00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:48,998 Brad! Brad! 735 00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:51,542 You need a hat. You're gonna freeze, babe. 736 00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:53,119 Oh, thanks, sweetie. 737 00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,749 - You look cute. - (CHUCKLES) 738 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,583 Hey, I want to talk to you. I'm worried about your dad. 739 00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:59,542 - (INDISTINCT) - Don't you think he seems 740 00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:01,093 slightly less chatty than normal? 741 00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:03,596 You got to be shitting me. 742 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,674 I mean, he shows up here without your mom? 743 00:28:05,851 --> 00:28:08,013 Don't you think that's weird? There might be a problem? 744 00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:09,394 With my mom and dad's relationship? 745 00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:10,515 Yeah! 746 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:13,272 What? They love each other more than we do! 747 00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:14,690 Yeah. 748 00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:16,234 I brought you your hat! 749 00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:18,353 No, honey, I didn't mean it that way. 750 00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:20,234 It's a huge compliment. Come on. 751 00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:21,360 You got to understand. 752 00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:23,274 Brad! The Christmas lights! 753 00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:26,573 No, no, no, no. (GROANS) 754 00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:28,696 All the light strands are connected. 755 00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:30,201 A terrible idea! 756 00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:35,544 None of these switches work! 757 00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:39,545 - Heads up. - (YELPS) 758 00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:42,255 Dad! What are these levers for? 759 00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:43,548 Ow! 760 00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:45,255 - Sara! - Stand clear! 761 00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:47,011 SARA: Brad! (WHIMPERING) 762 00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:51,845 (GRUNTING) 763 00:28:52,105 --> 00:28:53,471 DUSTY: Brad, let it go! 764 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,022 I don't want it to hit your car. 765 00:28:55,192 --> 00:28:57,354 - SARA: Let it go! - (BRAD SCREAMING) 766 00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:00,903 - Tell him to let it go. - Let it go! 767 00:29:00,989 --> 00:29:02,981 - (YELLING) - (SARA SCREAMING) 768 00:29:11,124 --> 00:29:12,456 DUSTY: Are you all right? 769 00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:16,669 Look what you did to the side of my car, man. 770 00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:19,380 (ALARM BLARING) 771 00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:21,003 (SIGHS) 772 00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:23,005 Dusty, I'm so sorry. 773 00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:25,174 - (GROANS) - SARA: Honey! 774 00:29:26,515 --> 00:29:28,347 - (CAMERA CLICKS) - (LAUGHING) 775 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,427 I'm not putting that Santy Claus back up there. 776 00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,937 I don't want to put it back on the roof, either. 777 00:29:35,565 --> 00:29:37,397 - Why didn't he let go? - (LAUGHING) 778 00:29:37,734 --> 00:29:39,896 Because he's an idiot! 779 00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:46,615 (PANTING) 780 00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:50,945 (SCOFFS) 781 00:29:52,374 --> 00:29:53,910 Son of a... 782 00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:56,539 (DON SNORING) 783 00:30:01,341 --> 00:30:02,331 Don. 784 00:30:03,176 --> 00:30:04,166 Don. 785 00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:06,176 Don, wake up. Don! 786 00:30:07,264 --> 00:30:09,051 Don, wake up! Don! Don! 787 00:30:09,141 --> 00:30:10,928 (MUMBLING) 788 00:30:11,685 --> 00:30:15,178 Kurt, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream? 789 00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,771 Do you need to talk? 790 00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:19,273 Yeah, I need to be held. My heart hurts. No! 791 00:30:19,609 --> 00:30:21,942 Did you touch the thermostat? Did you turn it up? 792 00:30:22,112 --> 00:30:23,523 Well, of course not. 793 00:30:23,697 --> 00:30:25,233 Did somebody fiddle with the thermostat? 794 00:30:25,324 --> 00:30:26,360 Yes! It's 85 degrees. 795 00:30:26,533 --> 00:30:28,991 85! Do you have any idea how much 796 00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:31,034 even a few degrees can impact the gas bill? 797 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:32,911 Of course I do! It's unthinkable. 798 00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:35,664 Dad? Kurt? What's going on in here? 799 00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,075 Why is it so hot? 800 00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:38,785 Someone fiddled with the thermostat! 801 00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:41,121 What? Who would do that? 802 00:30:41,631 --> 00:30:43,042 (DOOR OPENS) 803 00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:50,179 What do you think you're doing? 804 00:30:50,390 --> 00:30:51,722 It's roasting in here! 805 00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:53,845 I like to sleep with my window open. 806 00:30:54,019 --> 00:30:55,009 Hey, kid. 807 00:30:55,228 --> 00:30:56,719 Are you allowed to touch the thermostat 808 00:30:56,813 --> 00:30:57,894 at your mom's house? 809 00:30:58,148 --> 00:30:59,855 (SCOFFS) Duh. 810 00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:03,021 (DOOR CLOSES) 811 00:31:03,111 --> 00:31:04,352 What is going on? 812 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:07,025 Adrianna! She turned up the thermostat! 813 00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:09,065 Said she fiddles with the thermostat at your place 814 00:31:09,159 --> 00:31:10,695 any time she damn well pleases. 815 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,407 Dusty, is that true? Tell me that's not true. 816 00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:16,122 Oh, criminy, Dusty! 817 00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:17,623 You might as well give her your wallet 818 00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:19,041 and your 401(k) while you're at it! 819 00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:20,208 Brad, do you let the kids 820 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:21,411 touch the thermostat at your house? 821 00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:24,839 What? No! The thermostat is a sacred covenant. 822 00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:27,375 I can't believe we're even talking about this! 823 00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:28,630 This is madness! 824 00:31:28,804 --> 00:31:30,761 Oh, God, even Brad's got his house in order. 825 00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:32,263 Hey, you got no right to talk, all right? 826 00:31:32,432 --> 00:31:34,048 It wasn't hard to keep me away from the thermostat 827 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,349 once you shipped me off to military school. 828 00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:36,509 Kurt, you didn't. 829 00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:37,684 He was out of control. He was a bedwetter. 830 00:31:37,854 --> 00:31:39,595 I was a bedwetter. Were you a bedwetter? 831 00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:40,930 I was four years old! 832 00:31:41,108 --> 00:31:42,724 BRAD: Okay, everyone take it easy. 833 00:31:42,943 --> 00:31:44,400 It's not Dusty's fault 834 00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:45,943 that he lets Adrianna walk all over him. 835 00:31:46,113 --> 00:31:47,979 She does not walk all over me! 836 00:31:48,156 --> 00:31:49,897 I can see how being a stepdad, 837 00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:52,442 you might not feel empowered to discipline 838 00:31:52,536 --> 00:31:54,027 - someone else's child. - (SCOFFS) 839 00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:55,783 Hey, quit your scoffing, all right? 840 00:31:55,956 --> 00:31:57,618 And you two quit helping me. 841 00:31:57,791 --> 00:32:01,125 Look, Karen and Roger spoil her to no end. 842 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,252 It's crazy! 843 00:32:03,463 --> 00:32:05,204 And there's nothing you can do. I get it! 844 00:32:05,298 --> 00:32:07,585 You're the stepdad. You're screwed. 845 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:09,421 That kid's never gonna respect you 846 00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,047 unless you bring the hammer down. 847 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:22,267 - (DOOR CLOSES) - What the hell was that, Brad? 848 00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:24,519 (CHUCKLES) I know. He's old school. 849 00:32:24,693 --> 00:32:26,685 I think you handled this really well, Brad. 850 00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,610 I'm so proud of the way you express yourself. 851 00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:30,521 Come here. 852 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:32,941 Again? Really? 853 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,118 Good night, Dusty! 854 00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:38,655 BRAD: Good night, Dad. DON: Good night, Brad. 855 00:32:49,843 --> 00:32:51,550 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 856 00:32:53,847 --> 00:32:55,679 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 857 00:32:57,893 --> 00:32:59,725 SARA: Jump! Jump! DON: Come on, Griff. 858 00:33:00,061 --> 00:33:01,552 Jumpy, jumpy, jumpy! 859 00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:03,228 Casey's here! 860 00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:04,638 Hey, guys. 861 00:33:05,358 --> 00:33:06,348 Hey. 862 00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:08,397 ADRIANNA: Hey, Dylan, look. Casey's here. 863 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:09,523 You want to come French her? 864 00:33:09,863 --> 00:33:12,606 Yeah, you want to go do French on your girlfriend, Dylan? 865 00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:14,774 SARA: Megan! Leave him alone. 866 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:17,201 And where did you learn "do French"? 867 00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:18,702 I'll go talk to him. 868 00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:23,996 Dylan? You okay, buddy? 869 00:33:24,461 --> 00:33:25,918 (SIGHS) 870 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:29,755 I just... I don't get the whole girls thing. 871 00:33:30,091 --> 00:33:31,081 Oh. 872 00:33:31,301 --> 00:33:33,634 Girls, yeah. Yeah, that can be tricky. 873 00:33:34,012 --> 00:33:35,378 But you know who'd be really good 874 00:33:35,472 --> 00:33:36,679 in explaining that department? 875 00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:38,589 Your dad. Let me go grab him. 876 00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:40,633 No, Brad! I just want to talk to you about this. 877 00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:41,717 Just you, Brad, please? 878 00:33:41,895 --> 00:33:43,887 Me? You sure you don't want to talk to your dad? 879 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:47,273 Oh, well, girls. Okay. 880 00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:49,441 Huh. Um... 881 00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:51,861 All right, the girl talk. Um... 882 00:33:52,197 --> 00:33:54,359 You know, boys have a... 883 00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,482 A dingle, right? 884 00:33:56,576 --> 00:33:57,817 And girls have a hoo-hoo or a whim-wham. 885 00:33:57,911 --> 00:33:58,947 Brad, I already know about that stuff. 886 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,027 You do? 887 00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:01,111 Yes. From school, and it's gross. 888 00:34:01,206 --> 00:34:02,196 Perfect! 889 00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:04,577 I just want to know what to do if I, you know, 890 00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:06,083 I like somebody. 891 00:34:06,253 --> 00:34:07,289 Oh. Right, well... 892 00:34:08,255 --> 00:34:09,996 You want to become her friend first. 893 00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:12,335 You want to be that one that she confides in, 894 00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:14,216 that she tells you about all of her problems 895 00:34:14,302 --> 00:34:15,588 with the guys she's actually dating. 896 00:34:15,762 --> 00:34:16,878 Got it. 897 00:34:16,972 --> 00:34:18,429 It's called the Friend Zone. 898 00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:21,633 And it's where we Whitaker men thrive. 899 00:34:22,185 --> 00:34:25,019 We're the best in the biz. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 900 00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:27,350 Here we are in a wild frontier, 901 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:28,931 full of majestic pines, 902 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,937 and you two numbnuts are sorting through 903 00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:33,485 a bunch of dried twigs on a Rite Aid parking lot. 904 00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:34,653 You just can't go out on public land 905 00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:35,775 and cut down a tree, Dad. 906 00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:38,482 Dusty, we are the public. We own those trees. 907 00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:40,068 (SCOFFS) 908 00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:43,450 Oh, I get it. You need to ask co-dad for permission. 909 00:34:43,623 --> 00:34:45,364 Oh, shut up. I know what you're trying to do. 910 00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:46,623 What am I doing? 911 00:34:46,793 --> 00:34:47,874 Make it look like I can't make a move 912 00:34:47,961 --> 00:34:49,077 without checking in with Brad first. 913 00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,792 Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Am I right about that, huh? 914 00:34:52,007 --> 00:34:53,839 (CHUCKLING) Oh, God. 915 00:34:54,134 --> 00:34:55,500 (SNIFFING) 916 00:34:56,219 --> 00:34:57,255 (SCOFFS) 917 00:34:57,512 --> 00:35:00,175 BRAD: And we own the paint in the Friend Zone. 918 00:35:00,515 --> 00:35:02,677 And sure we're gonna lose some. Doesn't matter. 919 00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:04,513 We're gonna lose a lot, I'll be frank with you. 920 00:35:04,686 --> 00:35:06,097 Well, what do you know? 921 00:35:06,187 --> 00:35:08,850 Brad's having that nitty-gritty talk for you. 922 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:10,643 Must be nice to have someone 923 00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:12,191 to handle the tough stuff, huh? 924 00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:14,519 (SIGHS) And eventually you'll keep in touch. 925 00:35:14,696 --> 00:35:16,688 You might even be invited to their wedding! 926 00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:19,232 And their dad's like, "Brad, what are you doing here? 927 00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:21,443 "Teresa never talks about you!" 928 00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,410 And you're like, "I'm invited." 929 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:25,613 And he's like, "I wonder about that." 930 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:27,452 And you show them the proof! 931 00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,204 Always bring the wedding invite with you. 932 00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:31,494 - Then they can't kick you out. - Okay. 933 00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:32,752 But you'll be sad ultimately 934 00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:35,081 knowing that she's not with you, and 935 00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:36,544 you want to prepare yourself 936 00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:38,547 with, like, a mixtape of sad songs. 937 00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:41,596 Anything from Chicago is usually pretty good. 938 00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:44,306 (SINGING) If you leave me now 939 00:35:44,768 --> 00:35:48,762 You take away the biggest part of me 940 00:35:49,105 --> 00:35:50,312 I don't really know that song. 941 00:35:50,899 --> 00:35:54,734 Ooh-wee, no, baby, please don't go 942 00:35:55,528 --> 00:35:57,690 Wait! No, no, no! Dylan, 943 00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:00,064 that is the worst advice anyone could give you. 944 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:01,444 Listen to your dad, please. 945 00:36:01,785 --> 00:36:02,821 It's okay, Dad. 946 00:36:02,911 --> 00:36:04,197 We don't have to talk about it. 947 00:36:04,371 --> 00:36:06,203 No, no, buddy, buddy, wait, wait, look! 948 00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:07,784 Hey, this stuff is all about confidence. 949 00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:09,035 You just got to believe you're the best 950 00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:10,206 she's ever gonna find. 951 00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:11,500 You believe that to your core, 952 00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:13,043 and she will, too, I promise you. 953 00:36:13,254 --> 00:36:14,290 But what if she doesn't? 954 00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:16,498 Whoa, buddy, you can't be afraid of rejection. 955 00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:18,132 You'll never find love if you're too scared 956 00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,504 to put yourself out there. 957 00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:21,005 KURT: Hey, Goggles? 958 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,295 Mistletoe is your ticket. 959 00:36:22,389 --> 00:36:23,470 You walk right up to her, 960 00:36:23,556 --> 00:36:24,842 you dangle this over her head, 961 00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:26,052 and then you slap 962 00:36:26,142 --> 00:36:27,428 your spaghetti suckers right on her. 963 00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:28,843 I don't know if that's appropriate. 964 00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:30,431 It's a time-honored holiday tradition, 965 00:36:30,522 --> 00:36:31,638 Mr. War-On-Christmas. 966 00:36:32,107 --> 00:36:34,064 Then you give her a nice smack on the caboose 967 00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:35,766 and tell her what a lucky girl she is. 968 00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:36,850 Don't listen to that part, all right? 969 00:36:36,945 --> 00:36:38,026 Yeah, don't listen to that part. 970 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:39,186 Look at me. Look at me. 971 00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:40,650 You want to be like Brad and be in the Friend Zone, 972 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,026 or you wanna be like Dad and get in the end zone? 973 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,736 This worked for me when I was your age. 974 00:36:43,827 --> 00:36:44,863 You want to go for it, buddy? 975 00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:48,162 Come on, you can do this. 976 00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:53,493 (SINGING) A love like ours is love that's hard to find 977 00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:59,749 How could we let it slip away? 978 00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:02,343 No! I like Brad's way more. 979 00:37:02,512 --> 00:37:05,505 I just want to be her friend and listen to her problems! 980 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,564 MEGAN: My tree, my tree, my tree, my tree. 981 00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:17,225 My tree, my tree. 982 00:37:17,318 --> 00:37:18,308 Can I yell "Timber"? 983 00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,269 - Sure can, sweetheart. - Yay! 984 00:37:20,363 --> 00:37:21,524 DON: Is this okay? 985 00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:24,027 Are any of these trees even gonna fit in the cabin? 986 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:25,816 We're gonna cut off the top 25 feet 987 00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:27,902 and chop the rest up for firewood, Don. 988 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,115 Oh. 989 00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:31,162 Now, this is the Duster Buster I remember. 990 00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:34,617 A certified badass that makes his own rules! Whoa. 991 00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:37,120 Go find a good tree, would you? 992 00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:40,707 Boy, I don't know about this, Kurt. 993 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,133 Isn't it illegal to harvest a tree from public lands? 994 00:37:43,303 --> 00:37:45,420 Oh, hell, yeah. It's a federal crime. 995 00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:46,758 I tried to talk him out of it, 996 00:37:46,848 --> 00:37:48,760 but you know how stubborn that kid can be. 997 00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:49,840 Okay. 998 00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:52,552 Dusty, look, I know you're upset about Dylan, 999 00:37:52,645 --> 00:37:53,681 but I just... 1000 00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:55,554 I told you, Brad, I'm not upset, all right? 1001 00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:56,855 We're co-dads! 1002 00:37:57,025 --> 00:37:58,436 If he prefers your terrible advice, 1003 00:37:58,526 --> 00:37:59,607 fine, I'm cool with that. 1004 00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:00,814 I just want to find the perfect 1005 00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:01,940 Together Christmas tree. 1006 00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:03,020 Well, I just don't know if 1007 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:04,150 it's the best choice, you know? 1008 00:38:04,324 --> 00:38:05,485 Well, maybe we're not always gonna do 1009 00:38:05,575 --> 00:38:07,407 everything your way every time. 1010 00:38:07,702 --> 00:38:09,034 Trouble in paradise, fellas? 1011 00:38:09,204 --> 00:38:11,196 - No, we're picking a tree. - Just having a conversation. 1012 00:38:11,706 --> 00:38:14,039 - (CHUCKLES) - MEGAN AND DYLAN: El Padre! 1013 00:38:14,459 --> 00:38:15,449 Lookit! 1014 00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,619 Hey, what, kids? What, you find a dead squirrel? 1015 00:38:18,046 --> 00:38:19,833 We don't have to do things my way. 1016 00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:20,959 - Really? - Yeah. 1017 00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:22,039 What about baseball snack? 1018 00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:23,499 I just wanted to give out Fruit Roll-Ups, 1019 00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:24,629 and what's the big deal? 1020 00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:26,965 No, I just feel like organic fruit is much more nutritious 1021 00:38:27,055 --> 00:38:28,421 than its rolled-up counterpart. 1022 00:38:28,598 --> 00:38:29,588 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1023 00:38:29,682 --> 00:38:30,763 And what about Megan's diorama? 1024 00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:31,840 You didn't want to use any of my ideas. 1025 00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:33,722 Your only idea was the Bay of Pigs! 1026 00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:34,885 But it's an important event 1027 00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,060 - in our nation's history! - It was bloody. 1028 00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:37,517 You wanted her to do green energy 1029 00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:39,143 so you could look like Mr. Perfect Dad. 1030 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:41,559 - I'm not Mr. Perfect Dad. - You act like Mr. Perfect Dad. 1031 00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:42,817 I'm not Mr. Perfect Dad. 1032 00:38:42,904 --> 00:38:44,065 And we don't have to do things my way. 1033 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:45,650 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 1034 00:38:47,408 --> 00:38:49,741 Okay. You don't think I can operate a chainsaw, do you? 1035 00:38:50,245 --> 00:38:53,579 Guess who got his woodlands management badge in Webelos. 1036 00:38:53,915 --> 00:38:55,907 I did! Brad Whitaker. 1037 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:57,157 (CLEARS THROAT) 1038 00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:58,492 Ah! 1039 00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:02,668 Dusty, look at this one. Perfectly symmetrical. 1040 00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:04,122 Okay. 1041 00:39:04,926 --> 00:39:06,087 - (GRUNTS) - (CHAINSAW WHIRRING) 1042 00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:07,422 (REVVING CHAINSAW) 1043 00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:08,844 Oh, yeah. 1044 00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:11,009 Keep an eye out for rangers! 1045 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:14,550 I've got to pinpoint a 60 degree angle top cut. 1046 00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:17,470 That's what I'm gonna do first. 1047 00:39:18,982 --> 00:39:21,144 Oh, yeah! She's cutting like butter! 1048 00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:24,109 Hey, Brad, isn't that a... 1049 00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:29,652 - (TREE CRACKING) - (CHAINSAW WHIRRING) 1050 00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:35,488 Hold it, hold it! 1051 00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:38,032 MEGAN: Timber! 1052 00:39:39,711 --> 00:39:42,044 (LAUGHS) Wow! 1053 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,167 Brad, you cut down a cell phone tower. 1054 00:39:44,257 --> 00:39:46,715 Why'd you cut down a cell phone tower? 1055 00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,508 - (PHONE BEEPS) - No bars? No bars? 1056 00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:50,844 (SCREAMS) 1057 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:53,217 - KURT: That was excellent! - Get up. 1058 00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:54,381 You really stuck that landing, man. 1059 00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:55,465 Would you get up? 1060 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,051 I'd give you a 9.2 on my card. 1061 00:39:57,145 --> 00:39:58,135 Brad, get up. 1062 00:39:58,313 --> 00:39:59,303 I think Brad's dead again. 1063 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,104 Oh, man, you killed the poor bastard! 1064 00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:03,186 Brad, don't go into the light! 1065 00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:05,521 It's okay, sweetheart. El Padre will bring him back. 1066 00:40:05,612 --> 00:40:07,023 - Stand clear. - I got it, all right? 1067 00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:08,399 It's your fault we're even out here. 1068 00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:09,570 You're getting in our heads 1069 00:40:09,657 --> 00:40:10,647 and starting static between me and Brad. 1070 00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:12,108 (SCOFFS) There's plenty of static 1071 00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:13,658 between you and Brad already. 1072 00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:14,818 And you know what? Deep down, 1073 00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:16,404 you want him dead, don't you? 1074 00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:17,571 You can say it. 1075 00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:18,906 We all want him dead. I want him dead. 1076 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,241 - Everybody does. - What? 1077 00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:21,491 Come on, admit it. 1078 00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:23,706 Why don't you admit why you invited yourself to Christmas? 1079 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,337 Oh, well, why don't you tell me, smart guy? 1080 00:40:25,506 --> 00:40:27,042 'Cause you knew I was back here trying to be a good dad, 1081 00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:28,840 be around for my kids the way you never were for me. 1082 00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:30,714 That's why you want to crap all over it. 1083 00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:32,003 - Get up, Brad! - (GASPS) 1084 00:40:33,681 --> 00:40:35,172 Oh, my God, what happened? 1085 00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:37,012 You cut down a cell phone tower, Brad. 1086 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:38,676 You know, you're right. 1087 00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:40,102 I did invite myself to Christmas. 1088 00:40:40,897 --> 00:40:42,559 But that's because you never do. 1089 00:40:43,983 --> 00:40:45,190 (BRAD GROANS) 1090 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,518 I feel like I died again. Did I die again? 1091 00:40:47,695 --> 00:40:49,027 A little bit. Come on. 1092 00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:54,567 Okay. Our report's all squared away. 1093 00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:56,451 Yimmy, Bill, thank you guys so much 1094 00:40:56,537 --> 00:40:57,744 for the understanding. We really appreciate it. 1095 00:40:57,914 --> 00:41:00,076 BRAD: I'm so sorry. I'm truly embarrassed. 1096 00:41:00,249 --> 00:41:02,366 BILL: No, hey. It was an honest mistake. 1097 00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:03,496 YIMMY: Okay, you're all set. 1098 00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,369 BILL: Okay, we'd better get back to the site 1099 00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:06,499 and lock it down. 1100 00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:09,006 Hold on one second. 1101 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:12,301 Is there any way we could do better than $20,000? 1102 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,803 Can't you reuse some of the antenna equipment? 1103 00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:18,678 Sorry, no. These old 4G units are obsolete already. 1104 00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:20,513 That's why you're getting this one so cheap! 1105 00:41:20,603 --> 00:41:21,764 It looks really nice, though. 1106 00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:23,349 It sure does. Hey, guys, keep it up, 1107 00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:25,021 it looks great. Happy Holidays. 1108 00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:26,682 Happy Christmas, guys. Thanks. 1109 00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:28,191 Please tell me you did not just spend 1110 00:41:28,277 --> 00:41:29,939 $20,000 on a Christmas tree? 1111 00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:32,862 $20,000. "Can you hear me now?" 1112 00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:35,323 You want some eggnog? 1113 00:41:38,413 --> 00:41:39,745 - Mmm, yummy. - Hey! 1114 00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:41,739 - I want some! - Me, too! 1115 00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:43,407 Now, girls, that's a grown-up drink. 1116 00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:45,330 Yes. Thank you, Karen. 1117 00:41:45,586 --> 00:41:47,202 So we're only gonna have one. 1118 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:48,328 SARA: What? No, no, no! 1119 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:50,498 There's rum in there, so not any. 1120 00:41:50,717 --> 00:41:52,049 BOTH: Aw! 1121 00:41:53,469 --> 00:41:54,960 Are you writing about me? 1122 00:41:55,430 --> 00:41:56,511 All right. Somebody want to plug her in? 1123 00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:58,259 Yeah, I got it. 1124 00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:00,882 DYLAN: Cool! 1125 00:42:02,145 --> 00:42:03,477 That's weird. 1126 00:42:06,607 --> 00:42:07,939 DYLAN: Wow! 1127 00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:24,372 What do you think? 1128 00:42:25,793 --> 00:42:27,125 It's so pretty. 1129 00:42:27,295 --> 00:42:29,878 Well, it ought to be at 1,200 bucks a foot. 1130 00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:32,040 Dad, we're lighting the tree! 1131 00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:33,711 - Where's my dad? - Yeah, I thought it was 1132 00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:35,008 a little quiet around here. 1133 00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:37,378 - Pop-Pop? Pop-Pop? - Don? 1134 00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:40,969 Is he still outside? 1135 00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:45,219 BRAD: Dad! 1136 00:42:46,481 --> 00:42:47,813 Dad? 1137 00:42:48,858 --> 00:42:49,939 Dad? 1138 00:42:50,651 --> 00:42:51,983 DON: Brad! 1139 00:42:52,153 --> 00:42:53,985 Dad! Where are you? 1140 00:42:54,155 --> 00:42:56,272 - I found him! Where are you? - DON: I don't know. 1141 00:42:56,491 --> 00:42:58,153 BRAD: Are you hurt? DON: Oh, no, no! 1142 00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:00,950 No, I just can't quite get up. 1143 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:02,618 (PANTING) Oh! 1144 00:43:02,872 --> 00:43:04,238 Dad, don't move. 1145 00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:05,539 There's a pack of wolves on you. 1146 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:07,916 DON: Oh, is that what it is? BRAD: Yeah. 1147 00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:10,414 DON: I can feel something tugging at my trousers. 1148 00:43:10,588 --> 00:43:13,126 - What color are they, Brad? - They're gray wolves. 1149 00:43:13,299 --> 00:43:15,382 DON: That'll be Canis lupus. They're dangerous. 1150 00:43:15,551 --> 00:43:16,712 BRAD: Really? They look like you could 1151 00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:17,839 just reach out and pet them. 1152 00:43:18,012 --> 00:43:19,344 I kind of want to pet them, Dad. 1153 00:43:19,514 --> 00:43:22,052 DON: Now, Brad. Don't make eye contact with the alpha wolf. 1154 00:43:22,225 --> 00:43:24,342 I already did! Right in the eyes. 1155 00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:26,010 DON: Don't show any fear. 1156 00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:28,144 I don't want to watch the wolves eat you! 1157 00:43:28,314 --> 00:43:30,146 DON: Breathe deep and pull yourself together. 1158 00:43:30,316 --> 00:43:31,557 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1159 00:43:31,734 --> 00:43:32,724 Hut! 1160 00:43:34,987 --> 00:43:36,649 Hut! Hurt! 1161 00:43:36,989 --> 00:43:38,651 Are you saying "hut" or "hurt"? 1162 00:43:38,825 --> 00:43:39,815 Dad, what happened? 1163 00:43:39,992 --> 00:43:42,359 Oh, you know, I saw the nicest tree 1164 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:43,660 a ways off, and 1165 00:43:43,830 --> 00:43:45,662 I got a little off course. 1166 00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,448 I tried to call you, but all of a sudden 1167 00:43:47,542 --> 00:43:48,578 my signal dropped! 1168 00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:49,658 Really? 1169 00:43:49,752 --> 00:43:51,744 I tried to find my way back, but 1170 00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:53,787 at some point I lost consciousness. 1171 00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:57,045 That's about when the wolves must have come across me. 1172 00:43:57,385 --> 00:43:58,375 It's all right, fellas. 1173 00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:00,882 You didn't have to go to any trouble. It's all good. 1174 00:44:06,561 --> 00:44:08,974 I'm sorry for all the hugs. 1175 00:44:09,313 --> 00:44:11,020 I kind of don't want to let go. 1176 00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:13,019 I almost thought I'd lost you out there 1177 00:44:13,109 --> 00:44:14,316 to those nasty wolves. 1178 00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:16,477 Do you have any idea how much I love you? 1179 00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:19,818 Well, of course I do. You tweet about it every day. 1180 00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:22,153 You know how much I love you, too, don't you? 1181 00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:25,069 - Your answer is right in here. - (GASPS) 1182 00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:27,245 I can see it! 1183 00:44:27,331 --> 00:44:28,367 (SCOFFS) 1184 00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:30,949 Okay, now that everyone is accounted for, 1185 00:44:31,294 --> 00:44:33,206 can we please talk about who is paying 1186 00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:34,628 for that monstrosity? 1187 00:44:34,964 --> 00:44:37,627 Well, you know, it was Dusty's idea to cut down the tree. 1188 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,790 DUSTY: Yeah, and it was your idea 1189 00:44:38,885 --> 00:44:40,217 to cut down the cell phone tower, Brad. 1190 00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:42,548 Great, so as per usual we get stuck paying. 1191 00:44:42,722 --> 00:44:44,964 - Wait, what does that mean? - I think it's a nice tree. 1192 00:44:45,141 --> 00:44:46,882 I don't know. Dylan's retainer? Megan's flute? 1193 00:44:47,059 --> 00:44:48,925 What about Tae Kwon Do that you signed them up for 1194 00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,227 and didn't even ask us about? 1195 00:44:50,396 --> 00:44:52,729 Yes, and who paid for the trip to the aquarium last week? 1196 00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:54,101 It's a really nice tree. 1197 00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:55,182 So now we're keeping score, huh? 1198 00:44:55,276 --> 00:44:56,266 Well, who paid for the parking 1199 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:57,942 and bought each one of them a blowup orca? 1200 00:44:58,112 --> 00:45:00,069 After we told them they couldn't have a blowup orca! 1201 00:45:00,198 --> 00:45:01,188 Yeah, because you were too cheap 1202 00:45:01,282 --> 00:45:02,272 to buy them a blowup orca! 1203 00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,449 DUSTY: Who crushed my car with a snow blower? You did, Brad. 1204 00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:05,860 Who crushed my car with a motorcycle? 1205 00:45:05,953 --> 00:45:06,989 Hello! You again! 1206 00:45:07,079 --> 00:45:08,069 DON: Hey! 1207 00:45:08,164 --> 00:45:09,496 It's a beautiful tree! 1208 00:45:09,832 --> 00:45:11,619 It's beautiful, all right? 1209 00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:12,995 - (KURT CHUCKLES) - BRAD: Okay, yeah. 1210 00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:14,292 Dad's right. 1211 00:45:15,296 --> 00:45:16,787 It's a beautiful tree. 1212 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:20,040 KURT: Whoa! 1213 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,171 Don, I'm sorry, I don't think 1214 00:45:22,261 --> 00:45:23,342 I'm gonna be able to save the foot. 1215 00:45:23,512 --> 00:45:24,502 Yeah, that baby's coming off. 1216 00:45:24,597 --> 00:45:26,338 I'll need some morphine and a bread knife. 1217 00:45:26,515 --> 00:45:27,847 Brad, hold him down. 1218 00:45:28,017 --> 00:45:30,134 (LAUGHS) Oh, no. That's just my feet. 1219 00:45:30,311 --> 00:45:32,223 It's the mail carrier's curse. 1220 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:34,638 Back when I used to sleep with your mom, 1221 00:45:34,815 --> 00:45:37,023 I once scratched her leg so bad 1222 00:45:37,109 --> 00:45:38,771 with a piece of rogue heel skin, 1223 00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,607 it actually drew blood. 1224 00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:43,022 What do you mean, used to sleep with Ginny? 1225 00:45:43,324 --> 00:45:44,314 What? 1226 00:45:45,534 --> 00:45:48,197 Oh. We sleep in separate bedrooms. 1227 00:45:48,371 --> 00:45:50,784 You know how badly I snore, Brad. 1228 00:45:51,290 --> 00:45:53,202 Boy, that is inspiring! 1229 00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:54,992 You know? The way you're always 1230 00:45:55,086 --> 00:45:57,419 so considerate to the other person. 1231 00:45:58,172 --> 00:45:59,162 KURT: Ugh. 1232 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:01,840 I really want to take this foot off. 1233 00:46:01,926 --> 00:46:04,088 (SNORING) 1234 00:46:11,227 --> 00:46:12,217 DUSTY: Hey, sweetie. 1235 00:46:12,561 --> 00:46:14,052 You know, you might want to close your window. 1236 00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:15,307 You know, since it's winter? 1237 00:46:15,481 --> 00:46:16,471 You're not my dad. 1238 00:46:16,649 --> 00:46:17,890 You know, I appreciate you reminding me of that 1239 00:46:17,984 --> 00:46:19,225 every few hours. 1240 00:46:19,402 --> 00:46:20,643 But, you know, we're not the only people here, 1241 00:46:20,736 --> 00:46:23,319 so maybe we set the thermostat to like 75? 1242 00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:25,234 I mean, that's still really toasty, right? 1243 00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:26,314 85. 1244 00:46:26,659 --> 00:46:27,740 Okay, well, 1245 00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:29,902 what if I counter you at like 78? 1246 00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:31,198 And then you negotiate with me, you come back 1247 00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:33,781 at like 83, and then maybe we settle at like 80. 1248 00:46:33,874 --> 00:46:35,331 - What do you say to that? - 81. 1249 00:46:35,418 --> 00:46:36,408 Deal! 1250 00:46:36,585 --> 00:46:38,167 Look at that. The two of us are starting to see 1251 00:46:38,254 --> 00:46:39,244 - eye to eye. - (DOOR SLAMS) 1252 00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:40,666 Thank you, sweetie. 1253 00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,046 Oh, thank God. 1254 00:46:42,341 --> 00:46:44,378 Oh, there's Brad with some makeup cocoa 1255 00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:46,460 for being such a jerk. Thank you. 1256 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,130 - Brad! What are you doing? - (GROANS) Oh, God. 1257 00:46:49,223 --> 00:46:50,839 (SCREAMS) 1258 00:46:50,933 --> 00:46:51,969 Why would you do that? 1259 00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:53,049 Look what you made me do! 1260 00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:54,217 - I didn't do anything. - I didn't make you do it! 1261 00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,644 I thought you were bringing me hot makeup cocoa 1262 00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:56,891 and you just, like, threw it all over yourself. 1263 00:46:57,064 --> 00:46:58,271 You almost burned me, Brad! 1264 00:46:58,357 --> 00:46:59,723 I wasn't bringing you makeup cocoa. 1265 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:00,981 Why not? 1266 00:47:01,068 --> 00:47:02,229 I would've said, "Here, bud, some makeup cocoa." 1267 00:47:02,361 --> 00:47:03,351 I've been waiting for my makeup cocoa. 1268 00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:04,436 I didn't know that! 1269 00:47:04,613 --> 00:47:06,900 If I knew you wanted makeup cocoa, I would've... 1270 00:47:07,241 --> 00:47:08,231 81! 1271 00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:09,490 No, no, don't touch that! 1272 00:47:09,577 --> 00:47:10,567 I talked her down from the high 80s. 1273 00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:12,323 I'm making progress with her. This is good. 1274 00:47:12,496 --> 00:47:13,657 Oh, I thought you had your house in order. 1275 00:47:13,748 --> 00:47:14,989 Look, don't you see? 1276 00:47:15,166 --> 00:47:16,498 We're doing exactly what he wants. 1277 00:47:16,584 --> 00:47:17,825 We're letting things out of the harbor! 1278 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:18,950 - So you are harboring. - Of course I'm harboring! 1279 00:47:19,045 --> 00:47:20,035 And so are you. 1280 00:47:20,212 --> 00:47:21,202 Harboring was working just fine 1281 00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:22,504 before he showed up. 1282 00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:24,039 Let's get everything back in the harbor 1283 00:47:24,133 --> 00:47:26,420 and let's harbor it all back in and close up the harbor. 1284 00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:27,926 I don't know if I can! 1285 00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:29,586 Remember you said let's put the focus back on the kids? 1286 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,467 - That was a great idea! - (BRAD SIGHS) 1287 00:47:32,308 --> 00:47:34,550 Fine. Harbor's closed. 1288 00:47:34,643 --> 00:47:35,633 Good. 1289 00:47:35,728 --> 00:47:37,469 But we're going halfsies on the cell tower. 1290 00:47:37,563 --> 00:47:39,145 Fine, halfsies on the cell tower. 1291 00:47:39,315 --> 00:47:41,307 Brad, are you okay? 1292 00:47:42,318 --> 00:47:43,308 Yeah. 1293 00:47:43,486 --> 00:47:46,024 - Did you make tee-tee in bed? - No, it's cocoa. 1294 00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:48,029 Did your cocoa make you tee-tee in bed? 1295 00:47:48,199 --> 00:47:49,735 You're sleepwalking. Go back to sleep. 1296 00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:52,283 The big boy doesn't have to be embarrassed. 1297 00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:56,746 How would I pee upwards? 1298 00:47:57,416 --> 00:47:59,373 (ROCKABILLY MUSIC PLAYING) 1299 00:48:01,379 --> 00:48:02,711 7½. 13. 1300 00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:10,210 (EXCLAIMS) 1301 00:48:11,097 --> 00:48:12,087 - Pretty good. - Yeah. 1302 00:48:12,264 --> 00:48:13,471 Better than before. 1303 00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:14,923 Yeah, the skip was really cool. 1304 00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:19,057 Hey. Do you mind? Bowler's etiquette. 1305 00:48:19,230 --> 00:48:21,222 - What do you mean? - It means you're crowding me. 1306 00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:23,061 What? You can't bowl with me here? 1307 00:48:26,779 --> 00:48:28,020 That sounded like a strike. 1308 00:48:34,578 --> 00:48:35,910 How's your hearing? 1309 00:48:37,415 --> 00:48:39,247 - Dylan, come on, you're up! - KURT: All right. 1310 00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:41,249 Let's go. Hey, come on. You can do this, okay? 1311 00:48:42,211 --> 00:48:44,624 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's with the kiddie stuff? 1312 00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,004 - What? The rails? - Yeah. 1313 00:48:46,090 --> 00:48:47,797 It's how the kids learn how to bowl, Dad. 1314 00:48:47,967 --> 00:48:49,674 You learn by fearing the gutter. 1315 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:50,876 Like in life, Dusty. 1316 00:48:51,053 --> 00:48:53,261 Now, Kurt. The rails help a young bowler 1317 00:48:53,347 --> 00:48:54,883 build a positive self-image. 1318 00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:57,136 Dylan, come here. 1319 00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,721 Do you want to bowl with those sissy rails up, 1320 00:48:59,812 --> 00:49:02,350 or do you want to stand and bowl like a man? 1321 00:49:03,732 --> 00:49:04,893 I don't need the rails, I guess. 1322 00:49:04,984 --> 00:49:06,145 Attaboy! I'm proud of you, kid. 1323 00:49:06,318 --> 00:49:08,150 Hey, I'm proud of you too, big guy, all right? 1324 00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,061 BRAD: Dylan's going without the rails. 1325 00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,652 (GASPS) No rails? Whoo! All right, Dylan! 1326 00:49:12,825 --> 00:49:14,817 BRAD: Don't be afraid to release it high. 1327 00:49:14,910 --> 00:49:15,900 Here we go. 1328 00:49:17,079 --> 00:49:18,411 BRAD: Good try. 1329 00:49:18,664 --> 00:49:19,871 When he's up there with the tears 1330 00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:21,198 and "I suck at everything" business, 1331 00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:23,033 that's on you, Mr. School of Hard Knocks. 1332 00:49:23,210 --> 00:49:24,621 Hey, better than him living in your basement 1333 00:49:24,712 --> 00:49:26,203 in 20 years, Mr. Sissy Rails. 1334 00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:31,875 Come on, buddy. Give it another shot. 1335 00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:33,801 Okay. New start, new beginning. Here we go. 1336 00:49:34,930 --> 00:49:35,920 (GRUNTS) 1337 00:49:36,015 --> 00:49:37,426 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1338 00:49:38,934 --> 00:49:39,924 - Yay! - (ALL CHEERING) 1339 00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:42,594 - KURT: Oh, yeah. - (WHOOPS) 1340 00:49:48,903 --> 00:49:49,893 (GRUNTS) 1341 00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:56,483 Are we certain he understands the game? 1342 00:49:56,577 --> 00:49:58,819 He seems to almost be trying to put it in the gutter. 1343 00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:01,079 I know. He needs to get more height on the ball. 1344 00:50:11,258 --> 00:50:12,248 (GRUNTS) 1345 00:50:16,764 --> 00:50:19,427 I hate this frickin' game! It's so frickin' stupid! 1346 00:50:21,101 --> 00:50:22,637 Hey, everybody, check it out! 1347 00:50:22,811 --> 00:50:24,552 This kid's about to bowl a perfect zero. 1348 00:50:24,688 --> 00:50:25,974 Hey, mind your business! 1349 00:50:26,065 --> 00:50:27,772 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 1350 00:50:27,858 --> 00:50:28,894 Hey, how do you think this is gonna make him 1351 00:50:28,984 --> 00:50:29,974 feel about himself? 1352 00:50:30,152 --> 00:50:31,814 Well, this is character building. 1353 00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:33,478 Even the ridicule. 1354 00:50:33,948 --> 00:50:35,689 - Come on, bud. - Come on, Dylan! 1355 00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:37,607 - (CROWD GASPS) - It's okay. 1356 00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,530 I suck at everything! 1357 00:50:39,703 --> 00:50:41,786 I quit, I quit! 1358 00:50:44,166 --> 00:50:45,498 - Hey. Hey, kid, listen. - (SOBBING) 1359 00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:49,920 We Mayron men might not always show up. 1360 00:50:50,256 --> 00:50:52,248 I mean, we want to show up, we intend to, but 1361 00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:54,165 sometimes we get trashed the night before, 1362 00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:55,751 or we wreck a speedboat, or 1363 00:50:55,928 --> 00:50:58,420 hook up with some Emirates flight attendants and 1364 00:50:58,597 --> 00:51:01,340 somehow end up on a redeye to Dubai. 1365 00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:03,550 You know what I mean. 1366 00:51:03,811 --> 00:51:05,643 The point is, we may not always show up, 1367 00:51:05,813 --> 00:51:08,476 but when we do, we finish what we start. 1368 00:51:08,774 --> 00:51:10,857 Now you get up there and grab those balls. 1369 00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:18,315 DUSTY: Come on, you got this. 1370 00:51:19,577 --> 00:51:20,943 (CROWD CHEERING) 1371 00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:27,540 Go, bro! 1372 00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:29,834 BOOKIE: I'll take that. 1373 00:51:30,170 --> 00:51:31,661 I'll cover that. 1374 00:51:34,341 --> 00:51:35,673 Come on, honey! 1375 00:51:37,011 --> 00:51:38,752 - Come on, buddy. - You can do it, kid. 1376 00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:53,016 Please. Please. 1377 00:52:05,289 --> 00:52:07,076 (ALL CHEERING) 1378 00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:10,291 Whoo! I did it! 1379 00:52:10,502 --> 00:52:12,585 (ALL CHEERING) 1380 00:52:13,130 --> 00:52:15,042 Thanks for believing in me, El Padre! 1381 00:52:15,215 --> 00:52:17,878 You bet, buddy! I knew you had it in you! 1382 00:52:20,054 --> 00:52:22,467 You're a winner! You're a winner! 1383 00:52:23,515 --> 00:52:24,972 (WHOOPING) 1384 00:52:27,936 --> 00:52:30,053 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 1385 00:52:33,359 --> 00:52:34,645 Hey, where were you guys? 1386 00:52:34,735 --> 00:52:35,942 We're almost at the front of the line here. 1387 00:52:36,111 --> 00:52:38,649 We were at the Starbucks checking out the local talent. 1388 00:52:38,822 --> 00:52:40,108 Cute little number at the next table 1389 00:52:40,199 --> 00:52:41,360 was giving this one the eye. 1390 00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:43,115 And El Padre got a phone number from the lady 1391 00:52:43,202 --> 00:52:45,945 who made the coffees. We got free ones! 1392 00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,028 (KURT CHUCKLES) 1393 00:52:47,956 --> 00:52:50,289 - I drink coffee now. - DUSTY: What? Get in here. 1394 00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:51,833 Big jump! 1395 00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:54,502 (GUNFIRE ON TABLET) 1396 00:52:57,174 --> 00:52:58,460 Hey, honey, are you sure you don't want 1397 00:52:58,550 --> 00:52:59,666 to go see Santa with the boys? 1398 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:01,251 You were so excited. 1399 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:05,763 Mom, Santa is so lame. 1400 00:53:06,433 --> 00:53:08,425 - Come on. - He can hear you, you know! 1401 00:53:10,354 --> 00:53:12,266 You know, I'm sorry, um... 1402 00:53:12,940 --> 00:53:16,354 My daughter thinks that your daughter is amazing. 1403 00:53:16,777 --> 00:53:18,109 Oh, that's sweet. 1404 00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:21,271 Which is cute, you're right, but 1405 00:53:21,448 --> 00:53:23,861 sometimes when Adrianna does certain things, 1406 00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:25,445 then Megan thinks that it's okay to do it 1407 00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:26,777 because you said that... 1408 00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:33,116 Oh, my God. 1409 00:53:33,836 --> 00:53:35,498 Are you really stealing right now? 1410 00:53:35,671 --> 00:53:37,378 Sometimes I shoplift a little bit. 1411 00:53:37,464 --> 00:53:38,671 It's exciting! 1412 00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:42,505 No! I mean... Okay, yeah, it's a little exciting. 1413 00:53:42,594 --> 00:53:44,176 My heart's really beating out of my chest. 1414 00:53:44,346 --> 00:53:46,429 What if we get caught? You got to put it back! 1415 00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:47,634 You're so obedient. 1416 00:53:47,725 --> 00:53:49,341 You're always following the rules, you know. 1417 00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:50,599 Come on, Sara. 1418 00:53:50,686 --> 00:53:52,177 Have a little fun with me. Relax. 1419 00:53:52,354 --> 00:53:54,186 (SIGHS) I mean, I would love to have a little fun with you, 1420 00:53:54,273 --> 00:53:56,686 but I just want you to know, I am not obedient, okay? 1421 00:53:56,859 --> 00:53:59,317 - Then put this in your pants. - Uh, no. No, thank you. 1422 00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:01,478 And don't touch my boobs. It's weird. 1423 00:54:01,655 --> 00:54:04,068 Stop it! I'm not going to shoplift! 1424 00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:05,652 - Why not? - Because... 1425 00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:08,110 Because you're about to see why. 1426 00:54:08,287 --> 00:54:09,778 - Pardon me, miss? - Yes? 1427 00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:12,080 - Is this woman bothering you? - What? 1428 00:54:12,374 --> 00:54:15,538 She's a little judgmental, but she's fine. Thank you. 1429 00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:17,247 No worries. 1430 00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:20,830 (SCOFFS) 1431 00:54:22,885 --> 00:54:23,875 (LAUGHS HEARTILY) 1432 00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:26,632 Welcome to the North Pole! 1433 00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:28,592 And what do you want for Christmas? 1434 00:54:28,682 --> 00:54:29,672 (SQUEALING) 1435 00:54:34,813 --> 00:54:36,475 Oh, I didn't miss it. Hi! 1436 00:54:36,648 --> 00:54:38,640 Right there. This is a great shot. 1437 00:54:38,984 --> 00:54:41,226 - Are you getting it, honey? - Yeah, I got a good one. 1438 00:54:41,403 --> 00:54:42,564 That's a great shot. 1439 00:54:43,322 --> 00:54:44,312 BRAD: Thank you, Santa. 1440 00:54:44,406 --> 00:54:45,487 - SANTA: Oh, you're welcome! - Hi, honey. 1441 00:54:45,824 --> 00:54:47,406 What about you, big brother? 1442 00:54:47,493 --> 00:54:49,610 I'm sure you've been good. What's on your list? 1443 00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:51,653 I kind of want 1444 00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:53,366 a 20-gauge shotgun, 1445 00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:55,198 so I can go turkey hunting with my El Padre! 1446 00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:56,866 What the heck? Where'd he come up with that? 1447 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,041 Did he just ask for a firearm? 1448 00:54:58,212 --> 00:55:00,295 Sure did! 20-gauge. Kid knows his guns. 1449 00:55:00,464 --> 00:55:02,171 Kurt, we've already been through this. Dusty and I... 1450 00:55:02,257 --> 00:55:03,873 Yeah, it is final. That's it. It's not happening. 1451 00:55:04,051 --> 00:55:05,167 Really? Because I don't remember 1452 00:55:05,260 --> 00:55:06,376 being part of that discussion. 1453 00:55:06,637 --> 00:55:08,424 Or am I just some little obedient wife 1454 00:55:08,514 --> 00:55:09,721 who does whatever the men folk say? 1455 00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:11,722 Yeah, that doesn't seem quite fair to me. 1456 00:55:11,809 --> 00:55:12,799 Oh, piss off, Kurt. 1457 00:55:12,976 --> 00:55:14,467 Honey, he's talking about a gun. 1458 00:55:14,812 --> 00:55:17,304 If I may, can I just 1459 00:55:17,648 --> 00:55:20,311 have a word with my grandson? 1460 00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:23,188 I just want you to fully understand 1461 00:55:23,278 --> 00:55:24,644 what you're asking for. 1462 00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:27,901 To take a gun into the wilderness, 1463 00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:30,780 find an animal living free, 1464 00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:32,910 and take away its life. 1465 00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:34,992 So that it can never breathe or run 1466 00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:38,408 or play ever again. Now, 1467 00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:40,744 is that what you really want? 1468 00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:42,128 Yes. 1469 00:55:42,673 --> 00:55:45,131 - No. I don't want to do that. - Ah. 1470 00:55:45,217 --> 00:55:47,049 You have a good heart, Dylan. 1471 00:55:47,302 --> 00:55:48,964 I'll do it! I'll kill a turkey! 1472 00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:50,799 Can I shoot one? Please? 1473 00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:52,005 (SANTA GROANS) 1474 00:55:52,099 --> 00:55:54,091 I'll have one shotgun, please, Santa. 1475 00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:55,846 And gobs and gobs of bullets. 1476 00:55:56,144 --> 00:55:58,227 No, no, no, cupcake. No, I'm sorry. 1477 00:55:58,397 --> 00:56:02,061 No, the men do the hunting. You ladies cook what we kill. 1478 00:56:02,526 --> 00:56:03,516 Excuse me? 1479 00:56:05,237 --> 00:56:06,899 Yeah, excuse you? 1480 00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:09,151 Here, turkey, turkey, turkey! 1481 00:56:09,324 --> 00:56:10,440 Be patient, sweetheart. 1482 00:56:10,534 --> 00:56:11,741 The decoys are right around the corner. 1483 00:56:11,910 --> 00:56:13,117 KURT: This is nice, huh, Dust? 1484 00:56:13,203 --> 00:56:15,820 You and me, the fresh air. Just like old times. 1485 00:56:15,998 --> 00:56:17,159 What do you mean "just like old times"? 1486 00:56:17,249 --> 00:56:18,330 You only took me once, Dad. 1487 00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:19,615 DON: Aw, jeez, I don't know. Are you sure 1488 00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:21,451 this is a good idea, Sara? 1489 00:56:21,628 --> 00:56:23,711 Megan is a strong independent woman. 1490 00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:25,918 If she wants to help thin the wild turkey population 1491 00:56:26,091 --> 00:56:27,957 so that they don't starve to death in the winter, 1492 00:56:28,135 --> 00:56:29,717 that is her right by the Second Amendment. 1493 00:56:29,803 --> 00:56:31,715 Boy, you bought into that real quick. 1494 00:56:31,889 --> 00:56:32,925 I mean, I think for Megan 1495 00:56:33,015 --> 00:56:34,426 this is less about wildlife conservation 1496 00:56:34,516 --> 00:56:35,632 and more about bloodlust. 1497 00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:38,472 Looks like somebody picked the wrong day to be a turkey. 1498 00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:41,309 KURT: Keep your elbow down and cradle the stock, okay. 1499 00:56:41,481 --> 00:56:42,471 Yeah, I get it. 1500 00:56:42,566 --> 00:56:44,057 Can I shoot the damn thing or not? 1501 00:56:44,234 --> 00:56:45,566 Yeah, that's the spirit. 1502 00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:47,394 DUSTY: Take a deep breath, 1503 00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:48,690 and then squeeze that trigger 1504 00:56:48,780 --> 00:56:50,737 as you're letting it out. 1505 00:56:51,867 --> 00:56:53,824 Megan, are you sure this is what you want to do? 1506 00:56:53,911 --> 00:56:54,901 (SHUSHES) 1507 00:56:54,995 --> 00:56:55,985 DON: Let's name it. 1508 00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,490 She's not gonna kill it if it has a name. 1509 00:56:57,664 --> 00:56:59,826 - Yes! Uh... Gertrude. - Sam? Tom? 1510 00:57:00,292 --> 00:57:01,624 Billie Holiday! No. 1511 00:57:01,793 --> 00:57:02,874 - Elijah. - Elijah! 1512 00:57:02,961 --> 00:57:04,827 DON: Elijah, run home! KURT: Stand your ground, kid. 1513 00:57:04,922 --> 00:57:05,912 Save yourself, Elijah! 1514 00:57:06,048 --> 00:57:07,038 Take the shot, kid. Take the shot. 1515 00:57:07,132 --> 00:57:08,339 BRAD: No, Elijah has feelings! 1516 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:09,632 Take the shot! 1517 00:57:09,718 --> 00:57:10,708 - (MEGAN SCREAMS) - (GUN FIRES) 1518 00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:12,627 (GRUNTS) Oh, God! 1519 00:57:13,096 --> 00:57:14,086 Dad! 1520 00:57:14,306 --> 00:57:16,389 Oh, my God. Honey, are you okay? 1521 00:57:16,642 --> 00:57:17,632 - BRAD: Kurt! - Dad, Dad, are you all right? 1522 00:57:17,726 --> 00:57:18,967 I'm okay. She just winged me. 1523 00:57:19,144 --> 00:57:20,476 I'm sorry, El Padre! I'm sorry. 1524 00:57:20,646 --> 00:57:21,636 That's okay, kid. I've been shot 1525 00:57:21,730 --> 00:57:23,141 worse than this plenty of times. 1526 00:57:23,315 --> 00:57:24,647 DUSTY: Make your scarf into a tourniquet. 1527 00:57:24,733 --> 00:57:26,395 Wrap it around his shoulder. 1528 00:57:26,735 --> 00:57:28,226 Lift his legs! 1529 00:57:28,403 --> 00:57:30,315 - You'll be fine, sweetheart. - KURT: I'm gonna bleed out. 1530 00:57:37,955 --> 00:57:38,945 Wow. 1531 00:57:39,247 --> 00:57:41,739 Two for two. Makes getting shot worth it. 1532 00:57:41,917 --> 00:57:43,249 Get the birds, Brad. 1533 00:57:43,418 --> 00:57:45,580 God! I don't know who this child is. 1534 00:57:45,754 --> 00:57:47,086 You get that one. 1535 00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:49,539 (SIGHS) 1536 00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:56,967 What? I know, okay? 1537 00:57:57,265 --> 00:57:59,427 It's on me. I'm the worst mom in the world. 1538 00:57:59,685 --> 00:58:01,017 I put a gun in my daughter's hand, 1539 00:58:01,103 --> 00:58:03,095 and then she nearly killed somebody. 1540 00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:05,521 She's gonna be scarred for life. 1541 00:58:06,108 --> 00:58:07,189 MEGAN: Hi! 1542 00:58:07,359 --> 00:58:08,645 I just shot a turkey and a man. 1543 00:58:09,319 --> 00:58:10,981 Guess which one's dead. 1544 00:58:15,909 --> 00:58:18,652 Okay, fine, maybe she's a little too unscarred. 1545 00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:19,781 Jeez. 1546 00:58:20,247 --> 00:58:22,364 - (BEEPING) - (DOOR CLOSES) 1547 00:58:24,668 --> 00:58:26,330 - You all right? - Yeah, good. 1548 00:58:26,670 --> 00:58:27,660 All right. So, listen, 1549 00:58:27,754 --> 00:58:28,835 the doctor said everything is gonna be all right. 1550 00:58:29,006 --> 00:58:30,622 He just wants to keep you for a couple of hours 1551 00:58:30,716 --> 00:58:31,832 to watch your blood pressure. 1552 00:58:32,009 --> 00:58:33,671 I'm fine. Where's my pants? 1553 00:58:33,844 --> 00:58:35,676 Hey. Oh, I forgot. Nothing ever hurts you. 1554 00:58:35,846 --> 00:58:37,087 Why don't we just round up all the nurses? 1555 00:58:37,180 --> 00:58:38,170 We can bring them in here. 1556 00:58:38,265 --> 00:58:39,301 You could do some pushups for them, 1557 00:58:39,474 --> 00:58:40,464 maybe bench press the couch a little bit, 1558 00:58:40,559 --> 00:58:41,720 prove you're still a tough guy. 1559 00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:43,263 Still tough enough to lick you, Junior. 1560 00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:44,343 - (SCOFFS) - Was that a scoff? 1561 00:58:44,479 --> 00:58:45,469 I didn't scoff. 1562 00:58:45,564 --> 00:58:46,645 Yeah, I heard you scoff just then. 1563 00:58:46,732 --> 00:58:47,768 All right, I scoffed. So what? 1564 00:58:47,941 --> 00:58:49,273 Why, because you think you can lick me, right? 1565 00:58:49,359 --> 00:58:50,349 Oh, I never said I could lick you, 1566 00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:51,434 but I could whoop you for sure. 1567 00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:52,601 Oh, now we're talking! 1568 00:58:52,696 --> 00:58:53,857 Come on. Best out of three falls, come on. 1569 00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:55,522 Hey, cut it out, okay? I'm not gonna wrestle an old man 1570 00:58:55,615 --> 00:58:57,072 whose ass is hanging out of his hospital gown. 1571 00:58:57,242 --> 00:58:58,733 Greco-Roman style. Best way. Come on. 1572 00:58:58,910 --> 00:59:00,902 Hey, Great Santini, I'm not gonna do this, all right? 1573 00:59:01,079 --> 00:59:02,695 - Cut it out. Get some rest. - All right. 1574 00:59:02,956 --> 00:59:04,447 Hey! (GROANS) 1575 00:59:04,708 --> 00:59:06,540 That's one, candy-ass. (CHUCKLES) 1576 00:59:06,710 --> 00:59:08,201 Oh, now you're gonna get whipped, old man. 1577 00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:09,376 Come on. Bring it on. 1578 00:59:11,131 --> 00:59:12,497 (THUDDING) 1579 00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:15,629 Tap out! 1580 00:59:15,719 --> 00:59:17,255 Nah. I can keep going all night, kid. 1581 00:59:17,345 --> 00:59:19,052 You hear that heart rate? You can set your watch to it. 1582 00:59:19,222 --> 00:59:21,134 Oh, yeah. 'Cause ice water only flows at one speed, huh? 1583 00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:23,300 That's right, pal. Now go to sleep. 1584 00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:24,558 You know I came in to say something nice, 1585 00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:25,680 but now you can forget it. 1586 00:59:25,854 --> 00:59:27,436 Huh. What nice thing? 1587 00:59:27,606 --> 00:59:28,938 No. Forget it. 1588 00:59:29,107 --> 00:59:31,144 You know, when that gun went off, 1589 00:59:31,234 --> 00:59:32,270 I thought you were a goner. 1590 00:59:32,444 --> 00:59:33,525 There's something that we never say that 1591 00:59:33,612 --> 00:59:35,820 one of us should say before it's too late. 1592 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,272 (BEEPING RAPIDLY) 1593 00:59:37,783 --> 00:59:39,115 Yeah? Like... Like what? 1594 00:59:39,284 --> 00:59:40,320 No, I'm not gonna say it now, 1595 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:41,992 but maybe you want to say something. 1596 00:59:42,079 --> 00:59:43,069 I don't know what you're talking about. 1597 00:59:43,163 --> 00:59:44,199 Oh, yeah? 1598 00:59:44,289 --> 00:59:46,531 Seems like you might want to get something off your chest. 1599 00:59:46,708 --> 00:59:47,698 No. Nothing comes to mind. 1600 00:59:47,793 --> 00:59:49,034 But if you want to say something, 1601 00:59:49,127 --> 00:59:50,288 I'm not gonna stop you or anything. 1602 00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:51,498 No, I'm good. 1603 00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:52,704 But you might wanna unburden yourself 1604 00:59:52,798 --> 00:59:54,585 before you bust that frickin' machine. 1605 00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:57,258 Yeah. Well, if I was gonna say something, and I'm not... 1606 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:58,417 What are you gonna say? 1607 00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,048 But if I was, I might want to tell you that I... 1608 01:00:00,222 --> 01:00:01,258 - BRAD: Hello? - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1609 01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:02,429 Wait, it's Brad! Don't, don't say it! Don't say it. 1610 01:00:02,516 --> 01:00:03,506 BRAD: Knock, knock! 1611 01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:04,590 DUSTY: Time out on three, okay? One, two, three. 1612 01:00:04,684 --> 01:00:05,925 - (WHEEZES) - Hey, Brad. 1613 01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:07,601 - What's going on? - (PANTING) 1614 01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:09,342 Hey. Am I interrupting something? 1615 01:00:09,523 --> 01:00:10,934 - What? No, nothing. - No, we're fine. 1616 01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:12,269 Why are you being so weird, Brad? 1617 01:00:12,359 --> 01:00:13,440 BRAD: Just seems a little awkward in here. 1618 01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:14,726 (SNIFFS) 1619 01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:16,561 Oh, gosh. It smells like a bullfight. 1620 01:00:16,988 --> 01:00:18,399 So, look, guys, 1621 01:00:18,740 --> 01:00:20,606 I'm not here to tell you I told you so, 1622 01:00:20,700 --> 01:00:21,736 even though I did. 1623 01:00:22,702 --> 01:00:23,988 (SIGHS) I've just been thinking that 1624 01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:26,366 we've had a lot of tensions as of late, and I thought 1625 01:00:26,540 --> 01:00:29,032 maybe we could use a Dads' Night Out. Right? 1626 01:00:29,209 --> 01:00:31,451 Yeah. So what are we thinking, Brad? 1627 01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:32,581 Strip club? 1628 01:00:32,921 --> 01:00:34,913 Even better. 1629 01:00:35,257 --> 01:00:38,750 Oh, look, it's a cute tiny monkey on your back. 1630 01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:40,050 (ALL LAUGHING) 1631 01:00:43,098 --> 01:00:44,305 Give us all the money in the drawers 1632 01:00:44,391 --> 01:00:45,882 and all the lollipops. 1633 01:00:48,186 --> 01:00:49,677 (LAUGHING MOCKINGLY) 1634 01:00:49,896 --> 01:00:51,478 Guys, I can't keep up. 1635 01:01:01,116 --> 01:01:02,106 I'm gonna hit the head. 1636 01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:03,236 I'll get us a couple more drinks. 1637 01:01:03,326 --> 01:01:04,316 KURT: Sure. 1638 01:01:04,411 --> 01:01:06,744 Hey, am I crazy or are you guys having a good time? 1639 01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:08,370 I don't know. I think we kind of are. 1640 01:01:08,748 --> 01:01:10,489 - That's wonderful, Dusty! - Thanks, Don. 1641 01:01:11,376 --> 01:01:13,163 I told you we'd rub off on you two. 1642 01:01:13,336 --> 01:01:14,872 In this room right now, 1643 01:01:14,963 --> 01:01:18,172 uh, there's a man who, despite his advancing years, 1644 01:01:18,341 --> 01:01:20,503 is apparently an improv ninja. 1645 01:01:21,261 --> 01:01:22,593 Brad, you didn't. 1646 01:01:22,762 --> 01:01:25,425 I did. I so did! 1647 01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:27,594 Don Whitaker, ladies and gentlemen! 1648 01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:30,096 All right. All right. 1649 01:01:30,270 --> 01:01:31,636 (PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) 1650 01:01:32,856 --> 01:01:34,267 You are the greatest. 1651 01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:38,434 ACTRESS: Don! Let's hear it for Don! 1652 01:01:39,279 --> 01:01:40,645 We're gonna play a little "Arms Akimbo." 1653 01:01:40,739 --> 01:01:41,775 Do you know that one? 1654 01:01:41,948 --> 01:01:43,029 - Oh! Of course I do! - Awesome. 1655 01:01:43,116 --> 01:01:44,152 They're gonna love this. 1656 01:01:44,534 --> 01:01:47,117 - Can somebody do my Velcro? - ACTRESS: Yes. 1657 01:01:47,454 --> 01:01:49,286 He's got tiny little girl arms! 1658 01:01:49,456 --> 01:01:50,572 (CROWD LAUGHING) 1659 01:01:51,166 --> 01:01:52,623 DON: Okay. We're gonna do a scene, 1660 01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:54,621 and we need some suggestions. 1661 01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:56,168 Can you suggest an animal? 1662 01:01:56,338 --> 01:01:57,670 MAN: Raccoon! BRAD: A panda! 1663 01:01:57,839 --> 01:01:59,580 DON: Raccoon, good! All right. 1664 01:01:59,674 --> 01:02:01,506 And, sir, what is your profession? 1665 01:02:01,676 --> 01:02:03,008 MAN: I'm a dermatologist. 1666 01:02:03,178 --> 01:02:06,012 DON: And finally we need a human relationship. 1667 01:02:06,181 --> 01:02:07,262 Oh! Father and son! 1668 01:02:07,349 --> 01:02:08,931 A healthy father and son relationship. 1669 01:02:09,142 --> 01:02:10,633 Or how about a divorce? 1670 01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:13,886 Oh. Now you're getting in the spirit, Dusty. 1671 01:02:14,105 --> 01:02:15,186 Yes. Okay. We're taking "divorce." 1672 01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:16,434 That's all we need. Give it up! 1673 01:02:16,608 --> 01:02:18,224 That's really dark. 1674 01:02:18,985 --> 01:02:20,021 KYLE: Oh, come on, babe. 1675 01:02:20,111 --> 01:02:21,647 Just a little fun before he gets here. 1676 01:02:21,821 --> 01:02:23,028 No. Stop it. I told you, okay? 1677 01:02:23,114 --> 01:02:25,572 No canoodling until the divorce is finalized. 1678 01:02:25,742 --> 01:02:27,324 - It's not right. - Oh, come on. 1679 01:02:27,577 --> 01:02:28,943 - (KNOCKING) - Knock, knock. 1680 01:02:29,246 --> 01:02:32,080 (LAUGHING) He has no idea what he's walking into! 1681 01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:34,657 Oh, you're home! 1682 01:02:34,834 --> 01:02:35,995 Yes. 1683 01:02:37,045 --> 01:02:38,206 Where were you? 1684 01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:42,832 Uh... I took our raccoon to the dermatologist. 1685 01:02:43,009 --> 01:02:44,295 He got two of the suggestions already. 1686 01:02:44,386 --> 01:02:45,422 He's on fire! 1687 01:02:45,595 --> 01:02:48,258 Aren't you even gonna address the strange man in your home? 1688 01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:50,923 Yeah, bro, don't you even want to know who I am? 1689 01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:53,009 I know who you are. 1690 01:02:53,186 --> 01:02:54,927 KYLE: Don, if you'll excuse me, 1691 01:02:55,105 --> 01:02:56,846 I think I'm gonna start giving it to your wife. 1692 01:02:57,357 --> 01:02:58,347 Shut up! 1693 01:02:58,525 --> 01:03:00,482 Just shut up with that kind of talk! 1694 01:03:01,444 --> 01:03:04,278 When we met on that flight, I was really nice to you. 1695 01:03:04,447 --> 01:03:06,404 I listened to you tell your stupid story 1696 01:03:06,491 --> 01:03:08,448 over and over again, and 1697 01:03:08,702 --> 01:03:10,785 I complimented your hat! 1698 01:03:11,037 --> 01:03:12,244 (ALL LAUGHING) 1699 01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:16,407 - Brad, we have to stop this. - He's killing! 1700 01:03:16,501 --> 01:03:17,708 Don't you see what's happening? 1701 01:03:17,877 --> 01:03:19,869 I do. I see a room of people laughing at my father. 1702 01:03:19,963 --> 01:03:20,953 - It's amazing. - Okay. 1703 01:03:21,256 --> 01:03:24,249 - Have some water. - No, I don't want water. 1704 01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:28,127 Oh! 1705 01:03:28,513 --> 01:03:31,426 I don't want water! I want my wife back. 1706 01:03:31,725 --> 01:03:35,435 And I want our Sunday brunches at the Cracker Barrel. 1707 01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:36,556 Braddie, we've got to get him off the stage. 1708 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:37,682 (SHUSHES) 1709 01:03:37,772 --> 01:03:40,606 All you needed was somebody to listen to you, and 1710 01:03:41,776 --> 01:03:43,438 all I do is talk. 1711 01:03:43,778 --> 01:03:44,859 On and on and on. 1712 01:03:44,946 --> 01:03:46,858 When am I ever gonna learn to shut my 1713 01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:48,739 big fat mouth? 1714 01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:49,815 Ooh. 1715 01:03:50,368 --> 01:03:51,779 Oh, Ginny. 1716 01:03:53,621 --> 01:03:54,611 Ginny. 1717 01:03:55,415 --> 01:03:57,077 My sweet Ginny. 1718 01:03:57,417 --> 01:03:59,750 Why is he using my mom's real name? 1719 01:04:02,172 --> 01:04:03,504 Hey, Dad? 1720 01:04:04,341 --> 01:04:05,923 Is this true? 1721 01:04:07,635 --> 01:04:09,467 Are you and Mom divorced? 1722 01:04:11,556 --> 01:04:13,468 I wanted to tell you, Brad. 1723 01:04:17,228 --> 01:04:20,096 Son, you're home from summer camp! 1724 01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:24,601 I don't go to summer camp, I'm a grown man. Okay? 1725 01:04:24,986 --> 01:04:26,067 (PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) 1726 01:04:29,407 --> 01:04:31,820 Why are you laughing? I'm not part of this! Okay? 1727 01:04:31,993 --> 01:04:33,609 You are a part of this family, 1728 01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:35,035 and you will respect your parents. 1729 01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:36,202 - Yeah. - Shut up! 1730 01:04:36,289 --> 01:04:37,325 - Brad. - Just shut up. 1731 01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:38,451 Let me out of this bit! 1732 01:04:38,792 --> 01:04:40,704 What about him? Is he still around? 1733 01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,664 Do I have a stepdad? 1734 01:04:42,754 --> 01:04:44,040 (CROWD LAUGHING LOUDLY) 1735 01:04:44,381 --> 01:04:47,545 Stop doing that to me! I'm a paying customer! 1736 01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:49,709 Brad, let's go. 1737 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,427 Come on. 1738 01:05:01,689 --> 01:05:03,851 Will you please just go out there and talk to him? 1739 01:05:04,317 --> 01:05:06,900 He won't talk to me, and I don't blame him. 1740 01:05:08,029 --> 01:05:10,191 You know, it's not really all your fault. 1741 01:05:11,408 --> 01:05:12,899 You can't blame Dusty. 1742 01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:14,817 He couldn't have known about Ginny and me 1743 01:05:14,911 --> 01:05:16,743 when he made that improv suggestion. 1744 01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:21,532 - You did know! - It was pretty obvious, Don. 1745 01:05:21,709 --> 01:05:23,200 A guy your age either joins an improv group 1746 01:05:23,294 --> 01:05:24,410 because his wife left him, 1747 01:05:24,504 --> 01:05:25,494 or his wife left him 1748 01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:26,624 because he joined an improv group. 1749 01:05:26,714 --> 01:05:29,206 - So you did it on purpose? - No! Well... 1750 01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:31,125 Well, yeah. All right? I did. 1751 01:05:31,302 --> 01:05:32,338 You and Brad are all lovey-dovey 1752 01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:33,465 and smug about your relationship. 1753 01:05:33,555 --> 01:05:34,966 I mean, you make out every chance you get. 1754 01:05:35,140 --> 01:05:36,472 Meanwhile, my dad's ditching out on me. 1755 01:05:36,683 --> 01:05:38,299 Maybe I got a little jealous, all right? 1756 01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:39,512 Look, I didn't think you'd freak out 1757 01:05:39,602 --> 01:05:42,140 and spill your guts to a room full of drunken skiers! 1758 01:05:42,313 --> 01:05:44,179 - Hey. What is wrong with you? - What? I didn't... 1759 01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:45,689 Go out there and fix this right now. 1760 01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:46,765 - Go! - All right. 1761 01:05:51,823 --> 01:05:53,234 Are you serious? 1762 01:05:53,408 --> 01:05:54,819 I'm keeping this. 1763 01:06:12,927 --> 01:06:14,589 (GRUNTING) 1764 01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:18,339 Are you okay? 1765 01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:20,799 Uh... 1766 01:06:21,561 --> 01:06:23,223 My parents are divorced. 1767 01:06:23,396 --> 01:06:25,012 Oh. Mine, too. 1768 01:06:25,398 --> 01:06:26,388 Sucks. 1769 01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:29,316 - Yeah. - I think it was my fault. 1770 01:06:29,944 --> 01:06:33,358 - Was yours your fault, too? - I don't know. I hope not. 1771 01:06:33,531 --> 01:06:35,614 I just found out last night. When did you find out? 1772 01:06:35,783 --> 01:06:38,196 - I was a baby. - Oh, when you were a baby? 1773 01:06:38,703 --> 01:06:41,195 Maybe it was your fault. Were you a difficult baby? 1774 01:06:41,372 --> 01:06:43,034 Um, I don't know. 1775 01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:44,540 You know what? Your lack of specifics 1776 01:06:44,626 --> 01:06:46,367 leads me to believe it was your fault. 1777 01:06:46,544 --> 01:06:48,706 No, no, no! You were not a difficult baby, sweetheart. 1778 01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:50,621 Brad, dude, what are you telling the kid? 1779 01:06:50,798 --> 01:06:53,040 Come on, man. I know you're upset about last night. 1780 01:06:53,218 --> 01:06:54,709 All right? I'm sorry about what happened, okay? 1781 01:06:54,886 --> 01:06:56,093 I didn't mean to give that improv suggestion. 1782 01:06:56,179 --> 01:06:58,011 It just... It just kind of slipped out. 1783 01:06:58,097 --> 01:06:59,304 (SIGHS) 1784 01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:01,302 Know what, Dusty? It's okay. 1785 01:07:01,392 --> 01:07:02,382 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 1786 01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:03,550 Oh. Thanks, Brad. 1787 01:07:03,645 --> 01:07:04,726 Look, why don't you come in and talk to Don? 1788 01:07:04,812 --> 01:07:05,848 - He's feeling a little... - (ENGINE REVVING) 1789 01:07:05,939 --> 01:07:07,805 BRAD: Oh, my gosh. I wonder who that could be? 1790 01:07:08,233 --> 01:07:10,145 (GASPS) Ooh, what a nice truck! 1791 01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:11,775 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1792 01:07:18,117 --> 01:07:19,107 ADRIANNA: Daddy! 1793 01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:23,078 - What are you doing here? - Come on. What am I doing? 1794 01:07:23,248 --> 01:07:25,581 I want to celebrate Christmas with my perfect little girl. 1795 01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:26,957 Don't you want to spend the holidays 1796 01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:28,830 with your one true real dad? 1797 01:07:29,003 --> 01:07:30,335 ADRIANNA: Yeah, come on! 1798 01:07:30,505 --> 01:07:31,791 - Let's come see the cabin. - BRAD: Hey, Roger. 1799 01:07:31,881 --> 01:07:33,747 ADRIANNA: It's so cool! 1800 01:07:35,677 --> 01:07:36,758 Come on, hurry. You're going too slow. 1801 01:07:36,844 --> 01:07:37,834 ROGER: I'm coming, sweetheart. 1802 01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:40,630 You invite him all the way up here just to get back at me? 1803 01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:41,923 Yeah, I did. 1804 01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:46,678 - WOMAN: Bye, Kurt! Call me! - Yeah, next time I'm in. 1805 01:07:46,938 --> 01:07:48,600 (LAUGHING) That's her dad, yeah? 1806 01:07:48,690 --> 01:07:50,181 Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES) 1807 01:07:51,359 --> 01:07:52,725 KURT: And you invited him, too, didn't you? 1808 01:07:52,819 --> 01:07:54,151 I sure did, yep. 1809 01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:55,561 I don't know what I missed, 1810 01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:58,318 but this is getting good, boys. (LAUGHS) 1811 01:07:59,450 --> 01:08:01,112 - I like your style, Brad. - Hey, hey, hey. 1812 01:08:01,202 --> 01:08:02,613 (LAUGHING) 1813 01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:05,704 You're opening up the harbor, Brad. 1814 01:08:05,915 --> 01:08:08,248 Oh. The harbor is wide open, and it's Fleet Week! 1815 01:08:08,334 --> 01:08:09,370 All right, good. 'Cause I got a few boats 1816 01:08:09,460 --> 01:08:10,450 that want to set sail. 1817 01:08:10,545 --> 01:08:11,581 Yeah, good. So do I. 1818 01:08:11,796 --> 01:08:13,128 You favor little Griffy over my kids. 1819 01:08:13,214 --> 01:08:14,295 What? I do not! 1820 01:08:14,465 --> 01:08:15,581 He gets to sleep in your bed all the time. 1821 01:08:15,675 --> 01:08:17,211 Megan and Dylan never get to. 1822 01:08:17,385 --> 01:08:18,751 You want them to sleep in my bed with me? 1823 01:08:18,845 --> 01:08:20,711 God, no! Don't ever think about it! 1824 01:08:20,888 --> 01:08:22,129 I'm not thinking about it! You brought it up. 1825 01:08:22,223 --> 01:08:23,259 Good! You better not. 1826 01:08:23,433 --> 01:08:24,423 BOTH: Shut up! BRAD: Hey, you shut up. 1827 01:08:24,601 --> 01:08:26,183 - You shut up! - No, you shut up! 1828 01:08:26,394 --> 01:08:27,475 Okay. Well, he's not gonna be part of that 1829 01:08:27,562 --> 01:08:28,643 special thing we got planned tonight, 1830 01:08:28,813 --> 01:08:30,395 if that's what you're thinking. 1831 01:08:30,565 --> 01:08:31,601 Oh, yeah? So you're gonna tell Adrianna 1832 01:08:31,691 --> 01:08:33,227 that everyone's invited to that special thing 1833 01:08:33,318 --> 01:08:34,650 we have planned for tonight, 1834 01:08:34,819 --> 01:08:36,560 except her dad. 1835 01:08:41,576 --> 01:08:43,863 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 1836 01:09:12,982 --> 01:09:16,316 BRAD: Hey. Five more minutes and I get to be Joseph. 1837 01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:19,024 You're not the right type to play Jesus' dad, Brad. 1838 01:09:19,238 --> 01:09:21,946 He wasn't Jesus' dad, he was Jesus' stepdad. 1839 01:09:22,241 --> 01:09:23,903 And I'm exactly the right type. 1840 01:09:24,952 --> 01:09:26,033 You'd better stop hitting me 1841 01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,452 with that shepherd stick, Brad. I'm warning you. 1842 01:09:27,622 --> 01:09:29,454 Brad's right. Let him be Joseph. 1843 01:09:29,624 --> 01:09:30,660 Thank you, Roger, I appreciate that. 1844 01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:32,286 It's Brad's turn, Dusty. 1845 01:09:32,460 --> 01:09:34,122 Dad, don't break character. 1846 01:09:34,212 --> 01:09:35,453 And stop trying to butter me up. 1847 01:09:35,630 --> 01:09:38,213 - Can we show some decorum? - I'm showing decorum. 1848 01:09:38,383 --> 01:09:40,500 Shh! You guys, zip it! You're gonna wake Baby Jesus. 1849 01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:45,341 That's it. Give me the beard. 1850 01:09:45,431 --> 01:09:46,672 Don't touch my Joseph beard, Brad! 1851 01:09:46,849 --> 01:09:48,340 - Give him the beard! - Dad, stay out of it! 1852 01:09:48,518 --> 01:09:49,634 Can we have some respect for the Nativity? 1853 01:09:49,727 --> 01:09:50,888 Cut it out! 1854 01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:53,979 This is stupid. I don't even get it. 1855 01:09:54,357 --> 01:09:57,020 Why go on a trip when Mary's about to have a baby? 1856 01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:58,434 What's so damn important 1857 01:09:58,528 --> 01:10:00,690 you got to go to Bethlehem in the middle of the night? 1858 01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:01,770 There was a census, okay? 1859 01:10:01,864 --> 01:10:02,980 We covered that in Sunday School. 1860 01:10:03,282 --> 01:10:04,989 SARA: Megan, what is going... (SNIFFS) 1861 01:10:05,952 --> 01:10:07,614 Did you get into the eggnog? 1862 01:10:07,787 --> 01:10:08,903 Hey. Who's up for some IHOP? 1863 01:10:08,996 --> 01:10:10,703 Oh, yeah, that kid's pickled all right. 1864 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:12,830 Mom, you're pretty. Can we go to IHOP? 1865 01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:14,579 (STAMMERS) I'm sorry, folks. 1866 01:10:14,669 --> 01:10:16,535 Having some technical difficulties. 1867 01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:19,456 Great, Dad. Now you've broken the fourth wall! 1868 01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:21,290 None of it's real, folks. 1869 01:10:21,467 --> 01:10:24,801 I want to go wait in the car. Give me the keys, Braaad! 1870 01:10:25,012 --> 01:10:27,174 No, I am not giving you the keys to the car, 1871 01:10:27,265 --> 01:10:29,348 because you're drunk and you're a child. 1872 01:10:29,517 --> 01:10:33,852 Nobody likes your dumb, stupid Brad voice. 1873 01:10:34,105 --> 01:10:35,767 And you smell like pumpkins! 1874 01:10:35,940 --> 01:10:38,353 - And you're a mean drunk. - Kid's got an arm. 1875 01:10:38,526 --> 01:10:40,688 Drunk nine-year-old. Real nice parenting. 1876 01:10:41,154 --> 01:10:43,111 - You better watch it, Roger. - (CHUCKLING) 1877 01:10:43,614 --> 01:10:45,230 (CROWD GASPING) 1878 01:10:45,408 --> 01:10:46,774 KAREN: Adrianna! Are you okay, sweetheart? 1879 01:10:46,868 --> 01:10:47,904 Is she okay? Is she... What is she... 1880 01:10:48,745 --> 01:10:49,781 (CHUCKLING) 1881 01:10:49,871 --> 01:10:51,157 SARA: Oh. What a shock. 1882 01:10:51,247 --> 01:10:52,863 Now we know where Megan got the eggnog. 1883 01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:54,827 You always assume she's the bad influence. 1884 01:10:54,917 --> 01:10:57,204 Maybe your daughter plied my daughter with alcohol. 1885 01:10:57,378 --> 01:10:58,368 Maybe your daughter's that way 1886 01:10:58,463 --> 01:11:00,125 because her mother is a shoplifter. 1887 01:11:00,298 --> 01:11:01,914 Shoplifterrr. 1888 01:11:02,633 --> 01:11:04,625 Sara, we've been working on the shoplifting thing, okay? 1889 01:11:04,802 --> 01:11:05,918 But that has nothing to do with Adrianna 1890 01:11:06,012 --> 01:11:07,219 being such a little nightmare all the time. 1891 01:11:07,388 --> 01:11:08,629 My daughter is not a nightmare! 1892 01:11:08,723 --> 01:11:09,713 Come on, Adrianna. 1893 01:11:09,891 --> 01:11:11,632 DUSTY: No, sweetheart, I didn't mean that. Honey! 1894 01:11:11,726 --> 01:11:12,716 ROGER: Hey. 1895 01:11:13,144 --> 01:11:15,557 - What'd you call my daughter? - He called her a nightmare. 1896 01:11:15,730 --> 01:11:17,517 Hey. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a heathen. 1897 01:11:17,607 --> 01:11:18,723 Let's take this outside. 1898 01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,266 Yeah, let's step outside the manger. 1899 01:11:20,359 --> 01:11:21,395 He called her a nightmare. 1900 01:11:21,569 --> 01:11:23,105 ROGER: Here we go. DON: Now, now, boys, 1901 01:11:23,488 --> 01:11:25,150 we can't just leave! 1902 01:11:25,323 --> 01:11:28,031 Joseph and the Innkeeper rumble outside the manger! 1903 01:11:28,201 --> 01:11:29,317 Make the first move, Innkeeper. 1904 01:11:29,410 --> 01:11:30,651 Kick his ass, Joseph! 1905 01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:32,911 We are not going to do this in front of the children! 1906 01:11:32,997 --> 01:11:35,159 Now, what kind of fathers are you, anyway? 1907 01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:36,619 Oh, that's rich! 1908 01:11:36,709 --> 01:11:39,622 Coming from a guy who lies to his son for six months. 1909 01:11:39,796 --> 01:11:41,037 Maybe that's why everyone thinks 1910 01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:42,462 your stories are so "delightful," 1911 01:11:42,548 --> 01:11:44,084 because they're all lies! 1912 01:11:44,592 --> 01:11:46,333 Sara, get the kids out of here, okay? 1913 01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:49,135 Happily. I don't want them watching this anyway. 1914 01:11:49,347 --> 01:11:50,929 Have fun, morons! 1915 01:11:51,474 --> 01:11:54,308 - Pancakes, bitches! - Do not say "bitches." 1916 01:11:54,477 --> 01:11:55,467 Kids are gone. Let's go. 1917 01:11:55,561 --> 01:11:56,927 I'm not hitting a guy dressed like Joseph. 1918 01:11:57,605 --> 01:11:58,937 The beard's off, Roger. 1919 01:11:59,106 --> 01:12:00,517 How many excuses you want to pull out, man? 1920 01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:01,598 Oh, now it's on. 1921 01:12:01,776 --> 01:12:03,108 - You know what, Brad? - Don! 1922 01:12:03,277 --> 01:12:04,484 Yes, I lied! 1923 01:12:04,570 --> 01:12:07,563 Because whenever there's anything wrong in your life, 1924 01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,739 if it isn't roses and rainbows, 1925 01:12:09,826 --> 01:12:11,362 you completely fall apart. 1926 01:12:11,536 --> 01:12:13,448 I thought we had an honest relationship! 1927 01:12:13,621 --> 01:12:15,032 Oh, yeah. Brad, I bet you never told him 1928 01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,954 about that procedure you had last year, did you? 1929 01:12:17,124 --> 01:12:18,114 Oh, my God. What procedure? 1930 01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:20,792 It was nothing, just some benign tissue. 1931 01:12:20,962 --> 01:12:23,705 How about that? You're both a couple of lying sacks. 1932 01:12:23,881 --> 01:12:24,871 And, you! 1933 01:12:25,049 --> 01:12:26,130 From the minute you got here, 1934 01:12:26,217 --> 01:12:28,550 you've been nothing but mean and sarcastic. 1935 01:12:28,719 --> 01:12:29,960 Well, you know what, Kurt? 1936 01:12:30,137 --> 01:12:31,628 - F you! - (GASPS) Dad! 1937 01:12:31,806 --> 01:12:33,468 That's right. Forget you! 1938 01:12:33,641 --> 01:12:35,974 Attaboy, swami. Throwing down F words. 1939 01:12:36,143 --> 01:12:38,009 Not the F word, but an F word, and that's a good start. 1940 01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:39,640 Now, come on, give me the finger, big boy. Come on. 1941 01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:41,392 - Come on. - ROGER: Hey! Hey! 1942 01:12:41,482 --> 01:12:43,314 Are we gonna still fight or what? 1943 01:12:43,484 --> 01:12:45,692 Roger brings up a good point. Let's get the momentum back. 1944 01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:48,149 Come on, Roger. Get some! Let's get in there! 1945 01:12:48,322 --> 01:12:50,564 - Come on! - No, no, no, no, no! 1946 01:12:50,741 --> 01:12:52,949 If you lay one hand on each other, 1947 01:12:53,035 --> 01:12:54,401 whether the kids are here or not, 1948 01:12:54,579 --> 01:12:56,741 it will negatively impact them. 1949 01:12:57,331 --> 01:12:59,664 All right. I'm not gonna lay a hand on him. 1950 01:13:01,586 --> 01:13:02,918 DON: What are you doing? 1951 01:13:03,087 --> 01:13:05,670 Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Snowball fight. 1952 01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:08,207 I've got some Nerf guns in the back of my car. 1953 01:13:08,301 --> 01:13:09,587 Want me to get them? 1954 01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:11,922 I pitched triple-A for the Red Sox in their 1955 01:13:12,013 --> 01:13:13,254 farm system, Roger Don't say I didn't warn you. 1956 01:13:13,431 --> 01:13:15,172 Take your best shot. 1957 01:13:19,437 --> 01:13:20,518 Dad! 1958 01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:22,266 Don, I'm sorry! 1959 01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:24,981 That sucks. 1960 01:13:25,443 --> 01:13:28,106 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, no, no, it was all right. 1961 01:13:30,156 --> 01:13:31,818 Hey, no fair. That's an ice ball. 1962 01:13:31,991 --> 01:13:32,981 You bet it is. 1963 01:13:33,075 --> 01:13:34,941 You know, you throw that and we are no longer co-dads. 1964 01:13:35,077 --> 01:13:36,443 Oh, I'm way ahead of you, dickhead. 1965 01:13:36,537 --> 01:13:37,527 You know, from now on, 1966 01:13:37,622 --> 01:13:38,738 we'll just act like a normal blended family 1967 01:13:38,831 --> 01:13:39,992 with me hating your guts. 1968 01:13:40,082 --> 01:13:41,072 The kids will never know, 1969 01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:42,408 because I'm too good of a dad to 1970 01:13:42,501 --> 01:13:44,208 ever throw their stepfather under the bus. 1971 01:13:44,378 --> 01:13:45,744 But that's right where you're gonna be, Brad. 1972 01:13:45,838 --> 01:13:47,670 Under my bus. 1973 01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,251 Well, guess what, I'm gonna celebrate you 1974 01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:50,674 morning, noon and night 1975 01:13:50,843 --> 01:13:52,050 because it's the right thing to do 1976 01:13:52,136 --> 01:13:53,172 in front of the kids. 1977 01:13:53,346 --> 01:13:55,178 But just know the way I really feel about you 1978 01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:57,221 is you can suck a fart, Dusty. 1979 01:13:57,516 --> 01:14:00,179 A wet, greasy fart. 1980 01:14:02,772 --> 01:14:04,388 You gonna keep pump-faking that thing 1981 01:14:04,482 --> 01:14:05,598 or you gonna take a shot, Brad? 1982 01:14:05,691 --> 01:14:06,681 Huh? 1983 01:14:07,109 --> 01:14:10,102 What? What? Huh? 1984 01:14:10,446 --> 01:14:11,937 He's never played sports ever. 1985 01:14:12,031 --> 01:14:13,567 Maybe it's stuck to his hand. 1986 01:14:13,658 --> 01:14:15,069 Oh! Oh! 1987 01:14:16,077 --> 01:14:17,943 Huh? Huh? 1988 01:14:25,044 --> 01:14:26,455 That's what I thought. 1989 01:14:26,629 --> 01:14:27,995 You know what, Dusty, you're not worth it. 1990 01:14:28,089 --> 01:14:29,205 Come on, Dad. 1991 01:14:29,382 --> 01:14:30,498 (GROANS) Good. 1992 01:14:30,716 --> 01:14:32,298 Psych. You're totally worth it! 1993 01:14:33,719 --> 01:14:34,709 Dad! 1994 01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:35,919 (LAUGHS) 1995 01:14:36,305 --> 01:14:38,968 - That was an ice ball. - Treating your dad like that! 1996 01:14:39,141 --> 01:14:40,131 Dad. 1997 01:14:40,559 --> 01:14:42,551 Look, it was an accident. 1998 01:14:45,356 --> 01:14:46,517 Go ahead, Roger. 1999 01:14:46,983 --> 01:14:48,975 Brad was right the first time. 2000 01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:51,143 You're not worth it. 2001 01:14:51,737 --> 01:14:52,727 (DON GROANS) 2002 01:14:53,197 --> 01:14:55,189 Dang! Right down my neck! 2003 01:14:55,408 --> 01:14:56,569 ROGER: Don! Sorry! Sorry! 2004 01:14:57,910 --> 01:14:59,902 That guy's like a snowball magnet. 2005 01:15:00,121 --> 01:15:02,454 You were right about everything. You happy now? 2006 01:15:02,790 --> 01:15:04,531 Ah, Dusty, 2007 01:15:05,209 --> 01:15:07,041 I do like being right. 2008 01:15:11,716 --> 01:15:12,877 Hey, is that your baby in there? 2009 01:15:12,967 --> 01:15:13,957 (GASPS) Griffy! 2010 01:15:14,218 --> 01:15:15,254 (CRYING) 2011 01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:17,961 I know. I know, sweetie. It's okay, it's okay. 2012 01:15:18,139 --> 01:15:19,801 I know, I know. 2013 01:15:20,099 --> 01:15:22,762 This was Dusty's idea. I never wanted to do this. 2014 01:16:00,556 --> 01:16:02,548 Hey, Brad. That one's mine. 2015 01:16:03,642 --> 01:16:05,975 - Oh, is this bag yours? - Yeah. 2016 01:16:11,650 --> 01:16:13,357 Sara? Sara! 2017 01:16:29,460 --> 01:16:31,167 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 2018 01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:36,798 - Oh, my gosh. - Ew. 2019 01:16:36,884 --> 01:16:38,671 What is going on here? 2020 01:16:43,432 --> 01:16:44,422 What's happening, Officer? 2021 01:16:44,517 --> 01:16:46,679 Avalanche hit the highway up ahead. 2022 01:16:46,852 --> 01:16:48,514 It's gonna take a few hours to clear it, 2023 01:16:48,604 --> 01:16:50,266 so follow the traffic back into town, all right? 2024 01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:53,599 What caused the avalanche? Was it all the snow? 2025 01:16:53,776 --> 01:16:54,983 Yeah, I'm pretty sure 2026 01:16:55,069 --> 01:16:56,935 snow had something to do with the avalanche. 2027 01:16:57,113 --> 01:16:58,854 Keep it moving! 2028 01:17:03,202 --> 01:17:06,366 Well, I guess we could stop and have lunch to kill time. 2029 01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:08,201 On Christmas Day? 2030 01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:11,367 - What's gonna be open? - I don't know. 2031 01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:16,997 (CHOIR SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL) 2032 01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:19,166 (CHUCKLES) Oh, look at that! 2033 01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:21,880 Looks like everyone had the same idea. 2034 01:17:34,650 --> 01:17:37,188 Oh, no. Everything's sold out. 2035 01:17:37,486 --> 01:17:38,602 Well, I guess we could see Missile Tow. 2036 01:17:38,696 --> 01:17:39,732 What's that about? 2037 01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:40,986 It's Liam Neeson. 2038 01:17:41,157 --> 01:17:42,398 He's a tow truck driver 2039 01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:43,732 who's on his way home for Christmas 2040 01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:44,907 with his kids and 2041 01:17:45,077 --> 01:17:46,488 happens along some terrorists 2042 01:17:46,579 --> 01:17:48,286 who've hijacked a mobile ICBM. 2043 01:17:48,455 --> 01:17:49,536 So he hooks it to his rig 2044 01:17:49,623 --> 01:17:51,455 and has to get it to NORAD before Christmas morning. 2045 01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,116 I hear it's really good! 2046 01:17:53,294 --> 01:17:55,627 I don't know, Brad, it's PG-13. 2047 01:17:55,796 --> 01:17:58,584 I don't really care for the salty language. 2048 01:17:58,757 --> 01:17:59,964 Well, it has cute little kids in it. 2049 01:18:00,050 --> 01:18:01,040 I mean, how dirty can it be? 2050 01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:02,296 Besides, you love Liam Neeson. 2051 01:18:02,386 --> 01:18:03,376 I do. 2052 01:18:03,554 --> 01:18:05,045 - Let's just give it a shot. - Yes! 2053 01:18:05,222 --> 01:18:06,804 BRAD: Looks very heroic. 2054 01:18:06,891 --> 01:18:09,008 - I'll say that much. - SARA: I mean, really. Man! 2055 01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:13,720 The front row? I don't know, Brad. 2056 01:18:13,898 --> 01:18:15,139 - What about the... - Dad, please stop! 2057 01:18:15,316 --> 01:18:16,523 It's gonna strain your eyes. 2058 01:18:16,609 --> 01:18:17,975 We don't have a choice, all right? 2059 01:18:19,820 --> 01:18:21,482 DYLAN: Look, it's Mom and Brad! 2060 01:18:22,448 --> 01:18:23,655 (TIRES SCREECHING) 2061 01:18:23,741 --> 01:18:25,903 LIAM NEESON: Santa's got a present for you bastards. 2062 01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:27,651 - (GUNSHOT) - (MAN GROANS) 2063 01:18:30,998 --> 01:18:32,455 (LAUGHING) 2064 01:18:35,252 --> 01:18:37,335 You're impounded, asshole. 2065 01:18:38,088 --> 01:18:40,171 BOY: You did it, Daddy! GIRL: You killed them all. 2066 01:18:40,507 --> 01:18:43,250 LIAM NEESON: No, kids. We did it. We killed them all. 2067 01:18:43,594 --> 01:18:44,926 Together. 2068 01:18:45,095 --> 01:18:46,506 CHILDREN: We love you, Daddy. 2069 01:18:46,847 --> 01:18:48,429 LIAM NEESON: I love you, too. 2070 01:18:48,891 --> 01:18:51,725 The only thing that matters to me in this crazy world 2071 01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:53,555 is you kids. 2072 01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:56,555 And I'm sorry your holiday was ruined 2073 01:18:56,649 --> 01:18:58,641 by those godless mother... 2074 01:18:58,734 --> 01:18:59,770 (DIALOGUE DISTORTS) 2075 01:19:00,694 --> 01:19:02,276 (AUDIENCE GROANING) 2076 01:19:05,407 --> 01:19:06,488 ROBERTO: Sorry, folks. 2077 01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:08,237 Looks like we're having a bit of a power outage. 2078 01:19:08,535 --> 01:19:10,492 Uh, we don't know when the power's gonna come back on, 2079 01:19:10,663 --> 01:19:11,949 so you guys are all welcome 2080 01:19:12,039 --> 01:19:13,200 to stay in here or in the lobby. 2081 01:19:13,374 --> 01:19:14,581 The DOT wants everybody 2082 01:19:14,667 --> 01:19:16,033 to stay inside and off the roads, 2083 01:19:16,126 --> 01:19:17,367 so we might be in here for a while. 2084 01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:19,627 (ALL GRUMBLING) 2085 01:19:20,047 --> 01:19:22,039 You know, I bet this is because of the snow, too. 2086 01:19:22,383 --> 01:19:24,215 Gee, Dad, you think so? 2087 01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:27,923 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 2088 01:19:50,369 --> 01:19:51,780 DON: I need to use the gent's. 2089 01:19:51,870 --> 01:19:53,361 Brad, do you need to go tee-tee? 2090 01:19:53,539 --> 01:19:54,996 Dad, don't say that in public! 2091 01:19:55,082 --> 01:19:56,118 - Just go. - All right. 2092 01:19:58,627 --> 01:20:00,289 Is he still looking at me? 2093 01:20:01,297 --> 01:20:02,287 Yes. 2094 01:20:02,464 --> 01:20:05,127 Is he doing that one look that he does? You know, like... 2095 01:20:07,011 --> 01:20:08,877 - Is he doing that look? - Yeah. 2096 01:20:09,221 --> 01:20:11,338 Where he doesn't blink? Yeah. 2097 01:20:12,725 --> 01:20:13,715 Yep. 2098 01:20:14,476 --> 01:20:15,717 You know, 2099 01:20:15,978 --> 01:20:17,014 when I said that 2100 01:20:17,104 --> 01:20:18,766 Brad was turning you into something that you're not? 2101 01:20:19,857 --> 01:20:22,440 Maybe, you know, what I really meant to say 2102 01:20:22,776 --> 01:20:24,108 was that 2103 01:20:24,778 --> 01:20:27,191 Brad's turning you into something that I'm not, 2104 01:20:27,573 --> 01:20:28,814 a good dad. 2105 01:20:29,033 --> 01:20:30,444 (SCOFFS) 2106 01:20:30,534 --> 01:20:32,241 No? No, that didn't do it for you? 2107 01:20:32,328 --> 01:20:33,364 Come on. I thought it was pretty good. 2108 01:20:33,537 --> 01:20:35,449 That whole speech was in the movie we just saw. 2109 01:20:35,622 --> 01:20:36,863 - Was it? - Yeah. Word for word. 2110 01:20:36,957 --> 01:20:38,038 Dramatic pauses and all. 2111 01:20:38,208 --> 01:20:39,574 Liam Neeson just said that. 2112 01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:41,705 Oh, it must've been in my subconscious. 2113 01:20:42,004 --> 01:20:43,085 I'm gonna go drain the lizard. 2114 01:20:43,172 --> 01:20:44,162 Yeah. Yeah. 2115 01:20:49,303 --> 01:20:51,795 Whoa! That is a very impressive 2116 01:20:51,972 --> 01:20:55,386 watch. Is that a Rolex? Mine's a Casio. 2117 01:20:58,520 --> 01:20:59,601 (SIGHS) 2118 01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,272 You know what, Kurt? 2119 01:21:06,445 --> 01:21:07,435 When we first met, 2120 01:21:07,529 --> 01:21:10,112 I was so excited about our being co-grandpas. 2121 01:21:10,449 --> 01:21:13,533 And now everybody's miserable! And my son won't forgive me. 2122 01:21:14,870 --> 01:21:17,032 You know what you and Brad really need? 2123 01:21:17,206 --> 01:21:18,538 Oh, no. 2124 01:21:18,957 --> 01:21:21,620 I'm not taking any advice from the likes of you. 2125 01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:22,791 - No, thank you. - (FLUSHES) 2126 01:21:26,382 --> 01:21:27,873 Okay, what do we need? 2127 01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:33,212 MEGAN: Hey! Adrianna's here! ADRIANNA: Megan! 2128 01:21:33,389 --> 01:21:34,425 MEGAN: Hi! 2129 01:21:34,515 --> 01:21:37,098 - I can't shake this guy. - I can't shake this guy. 2130 01:21:37,267 --> 01:21:38,849 - You guys got stuck here, too? - ADRIANNA: Yeah. 2131 01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:41,762 And, Dylan, look who else got stuck. Your girlfriend! 2132 01:21:42,606 --> 01:21:43,767 MEGAN: We should put her under the mistletoe. 2133 01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:44,847 ADRIANNA: Yeah! 2134 01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:46,899 - Come on, stay under. - Stay. 2135 01:21:50,030 --> 01:21:52,022 You like that girl, don't you? 2136 01:21:53,158 --> 01:21:54,194 Hmm. 2137 01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:55,274 Well, 2138 01:21:55,452 --> 01:21:57,865 who knocked down a pin all by himself? 2139 01:21:58,705 --> 01:22:00,697 - I did? - Damn right, you did. 2140 01:22:00,874 --> 01:22:02,866 Now go in there and pick up that spare. 2141 01:22:03,043 --> 01:22:05,205 - Here she is, Dylan! - (ALL LAUGHING) 2142 01:22:05,879 --> 01:22:07,620 It just doesn't seem right. 2143 01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:10,415 Brad? 2144 01:22:10,676 --> 01:22:12,759 Dad, I really don't want to dis... 2145 01:22:12,970 --> 01:22:14,632 - (GRUNTING) - Jeez. 2146 01:22:14,721 --> 01:22:17,634 We're gonna settle this physically, like men! 2147 01:22:17,808 --> 01:22:19,970 And when it's all over, we're gonna feel a whole lot better. 2148 01:22:20,144 --> 01:22:22,136 At least somebody's taking my advice today. 2149 01:22:22,312 --> 01:22:23,848 Cut it out! This is child abuse! Honey, help me! 2150 01:22:23,939 --> 01:22:25,555 Don't be such a snowflake. Fight back! 2151 01:22:25,649 --> 01:22:26,639 Hey, guys, come on, knock it off. 2152 01:22:26,733 --> 01:22:27,723 You're making a scene, all right? 2153 01:22:27,901 --> 01:22:29,062 Yeah, Don, lean on him! 2154 01:22:29,236 --> 01:22:31,694 Engage me, son, for the sake of our male bond. 2155 01:22:34,074 --> 01:22:35,565 No, wait, wait, look. Look! 2156 01:22:36,910 --> 01:22:38,617 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 2157 01:22:40,456 --> 01:22:41,788 What's he doing? 2158 01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:49,795 Oh, my God. He's going in for his first kiss. 2159 01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:51,501 Look, she's standing under the mistletoe. 2160 01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:52,958 Oh, my God. Where's my phone? Where my phone? 2161 01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:54,634 Oh, my God, where's your phone? 2162 01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:55,961 Brad, where's your phone! 2163 01:22:56,138 --> 01:22:57,549 Okay, it's right here. Right here. Yeah. Yeah. 2164 01:22:59,516 --> 01:23:01,678 Look how brave he is. She's all yours, buddy. 2165 01:23:02,853 --> 01:23:03,843 Unless she's got a boyfriend. 2166 01:23:03,937 --> 01:23:05,018 In that case, there's always the Friend Zone. 2167 01:23:05,105 --> 01:23:06,312 No, there's nothing wrong with the Friend Zone. 2168 01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:07,559 Guys, he's not going in the Friend Zone, okay? 2169 01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:08,894 Look at that smile. She likes him. 2170 01:23:08,984 --> 01:23:10,566 KURT: Yeah, she wants a kiss. 2171 01:23:37,638 --> 01:23:39,129 My God, he kissed his sister! 2172 01:23:39,306 --> 01:23:41,468 Congratulations, you lucky gal. 2173 01:23:42,476 --> 01:23:44,889 I did it, El Padre! I kissed the girl I like! 2174 01:23:45,062 --> 01:23:47,725 Yeah! Attaboy! (LAUGHS) 2175 01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:51,149 Whoa! Did you just kiss your sister? You sick kid! 2176 01:23:51,318 --> 01:23:52,399 Stepsister. 2177 01:23:52,653 --> 01:23:54,360 I mean, still not okay, I know that. 2178 01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:56,062 What? No, no, wait, he's just a little confused, all right? 2179 01:23:56,156 --> 01:23:57,897 It's no surprise when you look at who raised him. 2180 01:23:58,075 --> 01:23:59,816 Adrianna, come on. We're going home. 2181 01:24:00,202 --> 01:24:02,194 Wait, wait, Roger, you can't go out in that storm. 2182 01:24:02,371 --> 01:24:03,487 I was an alternate for Season 3 2183 01:24:03,580 --> 01:24:04,616 Ice Road Truckers. 2184 01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:06,622 - I'll be fine. - Oh. 2185 01:24:07,292 --> 01:24:08,624 That was their best season. 2186 01:24:09,419 --> 01:24:10,751 I got this. 2187 01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:12,670 Wait a minute. Roger, hold up, man. 2188 01:24:12,839 --> 01:24:15,331 No. From now on, I don't want you anywhere near my daughter. 2189 01:24:15,509 --> 01:24:17,171 I don't want anything to do with any of you people! 2190 01:24:17,344 --> 01:24:18,334 Look, I never wanted to be 2191 01:24:18,428 --> 01:24:19,418 family with you, either, Roger. 2192 01:24:19,513 --> 01:24:20,754 Just like Brad never wanted to be family with me, 2193 01:24:20,847 --> 01:24:21,837 did you, Brad? 2194 01:24:22,015 --> 01:24:23,847 No. Not at all. I hated your guts. 2195 01:24:24,017 --> 01:24:25,758 In fact, I still kind of do right now. 2196 01:24:25,936 --> 01:24:27,177 Yeah. Me, too, Brad. 2197 01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:28,765 But we're all connected by these kids. 2198 01:24:28,855 --> 01:24:29,891 No one's going anywhere. 2199 01:24:30,315 --> 01:24:32,227 - You gonna stop me? - If I have to, yes. 2200 01:24:32,401 --> 01:24:34,438 Yeah, right. You couldn't stop a clock, you weak tit. 2201 01:24:35,654 --> 01:24:37,236 The hammer. 2202 01:24:40,200 --> 01:24:41,532 You know what, Adrianna? 2203 01:24:42,035 --> 01:24:43,196 You're not gonna like this, young lady, 2204 01:24:43,287 --> 01:24:45,028 but this is long overdue. 2205 01:24:48,542 --> 01:24:49,532 I love you. 2206 01:24:49,710 --> 01:24:50,700 CROWD: Aww. 2207 01:24:51,378 --> 01:24:53,119 - That got me. - Got me, too. Right here. 2208 01:24:53,297 --> 01:24:54,333 What the hell did you just say? 2209 01:24:54,423 --> 01:24:55,959 You heard me. I said, I love my stepdaughter! 2210 01:24:56,133 --> 01:24:58,546 And I meant it. I should've said it a long time ago, 2211 01:24:58,719 --> 01:25:00,130 but I was afraid to put myself out there 2212 01:25:00,220 --> 01:25:02,052 - and risk getting rejected. - CROWD: Aww. 2213 01:25:02,556 --> 01:25:03,592 Sweet. 2214 01:25:03,682 --> 01:25:05,014 You know what? 2215 01:25:05,642 --> 01:25:08,134 Adrianna, you're gonna spend Christmas with your mom, okay? 2216 01:25:10,314 --> 01:25:11,976 You're not leaving us, Roger. 2217 01:25:12,482 --> 01:25:13,973 'Cause I love you, too. 2218 01:25:16,403 --> 01:25:18,395 - You take that back! - Nope. I can't. 2219 01:25:18,572 --> 01:25:19,608 Can't take it back now. 2220 01:25:19,698 --> 01:25:21,485 Everybody heard it. It's out there. 2221 01:25:21,658 --> 01:25:23,524 - Everybody hear it? - CROWD: Yeah. 2222 01:25:24,494 --> 01:25:26,110 You're her dad, you made her who she is, 2223 01:25:26,204 --> 01:25:27,365 and despite her currently harboring 2224 01:25:27,456 --> 01:25:28,992 a fair amount of resentment towards me, 2225 01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:31,249 I love her, so that means I love you, too. 2226 01:25:31,585 --> 01:25:33,372 And I've never been too good about saying it, 2227 01:25:33,462 --> 01:25:34,919 but I'm gonna follow Brad's example, 2228 01:25:35,088 --> 01:25:36,169 who I also love. 2229 01:25:36,340 --> 01:25:38,423 Now you're just saying things to choke me up. 2230 01:25:38,592 --> 01:25:39,753 Brad! Cut it out. 2231 01:25:39,885 --> 01:25:41,842 - I'm trying. - I'm a hot mess here. 2232 01:25:41,928 --> 01:25:42,918 Don, please! 2233 01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:44,177 You've got to understand, 2234 01:25:44,264 --> 01:25:45,505 when it comes out of nowhere like that, 2235 01:25:45,599 --> 01:25:46,589 what do you expect? 2236 01:25:46,767 --> 01:25:47,974 - Stop! - I'm stopping. 2237 01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:49,050 - I'm currently stopping. - We're... 2238 01:25:49,227 --> 01:25:51,389 Yeah, guys. Cut it out, you're embarrassing me. 2239 01:25:51,563 --> 01:25:52,679 I love you, Brad. 2240 01:25:53,065 --> 01:25:54,806 And I love Karen, I love Sara, 2241 01:25:55,734 --> 01:25:57,396 and I love my kids. 2242 01:25:58,904 --> 01:26:00,065 (CLEARS THROAT) 2243 01:26:00,322 --> 01:26:01,563 I, uh, 2244 01:26:05,202 --> 01:26:06,534 I might need a little more time with that one. 2245 01:26:06,620 --> 01:26:07,610 Sure, understood. 2246 01:26:07,788 --> 01:26:09,825 But we're making progress. Maybe for your birthday. 2247 01:26:09,998 --> 01:26:10,988 Yeah. 2248 01:26:11,083 --> 01:26:12,119 You know. Unless you want to say anything? 2249 01:26:12,876 --> 01:26:14,708 - Anything at all? - DON: Say it, Kurt. 2250 01:26:14,878 --> 01:26:16,710 - Now's the time. - Just say it, Kurt. 2251 01:26:16,880 --> 01:26:17,870 DUSTY: You want to say anything? 2252 01:26:17,964 --> 01:26:19,205 BRAD: It's not that bad. Just say it. 2253 01:26:19,383 --> 01:26:21,249 - You can do it. - Do it. 2254 01:26:22,302 --> 01:26:24,794 Nah, the birthday's a good target. Good target. 2255 01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:27,092 All right, Roger, what do you say? 2256 01:26:27,307 --> 01:26:29,799 It's not too late to spend Christmas with your family. 2257 01:26:36,108 --> 01:26:37,849 (CROWD GROANING) 2258 01:26:41,613 --> 01:26:43,400 (MUSIC PLAYING) 2259 01:26:48,912 --> 01:26:51,495 (SINGING) It's Christmastime 2260 01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:56,167 There's no need to be afraid, Roger 2261 01:26:57,379 --> 01:26:59,371 At Christmastime 2262 01:27:00,215 --> 01:27:03,208 We let in light and we banish shade 2263 01:27:03,427 --> 01:27:05,419 Damn, that's my favorite song of all time. 2264 01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:09,760 - And in our world of plenty - (CHOIR VOCALIZING) 2265 01:27:10,058 --> 01:27:13,551 We can spread a smile of joy 2266 01:27:14,229 --> 01:27:17,563 Throw your arms around the world 2267 01:27:17,899 --> 01:27:19,231 At Christmastime 2268 01:27:22,446 --> 01:27:24,153 But say a prayer 2269 01:27:26,491 --> 01:27:28,904 Pray for the other ones! 2270 01:27:29,077 --> 01:27:31,069 I'll play this in August, I don't even care. 2271 01:27:31,246 --> 01:27:32,908 At Christmastime 2272 01:27:33,248 --> 01:27:38,243 It's hard, but when you're having fun 2273 01:27:38,837 --> 01:27:43,172 There's a world outside your window 2274 01:27:43,759 --> 01:27:47,503 It's a world of dread and fear 2275 01:27:47,804 --> 01:27:51,969 Where the only water flowing is 2276 01:27:52,309 --> 01:27:55,143 The bitter sting of tears 2277 01:27:56,229 --> 01:27:59,973 And the Christmas bells that ring there 2278 01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:03,810 Are the clanging chimes of doom 2279 01:28:04,154 --> 01:28:07,147 Well, tonight thank God it's them 2280 01:28:07,991 --> 01:28:10,483 Instead of you 2281 01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:13,027 Yes! Fantastic! 2282 01:28:17,959 --> 01:28:19,541 He heard it! 2283 01:28:29,429 --> 01:28:30,761 Come on, Roger. 2284 01:28:31,973 --> 01:28:34,056 Look. Yes, we're all stuck here, 2285 01:28:34,392 --> 01:28:36,133 but we're with our loved ones. 2286 01:28:36,311 --> 01:28:38,303 I'm not. I came alone. 2287 01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:39,937 Oh. Okay, well, 2288 01:28:40,023 --> 01:28:41,264 he came to the movies alone on Christmas, 2289 01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:42,474 and that's a little sad. 2290 01:28:42,651 --> 01:28:44,608 (SINGING) That's a little sad! 2291 01:28:45,654 --> 01:28:47,145 But you're not alone, sir. 2292 01:28:47,322 --> 01:28:48,312 I mean, think about it. 2293 01:28:48,406 --> 01:28:49,897 We come to the movies all the time. 2294 01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:52,404 We sit with hundreds of people. 2295 01:28:52,744 --> 01:28:55,987 And we laugh together, we cry together, 2296 01:28:56,331 --> 01:28:58,493 but we never look at each other, do we? 2297 01:28:58,750 --> 01:29:01,413 Brad, it's not a microphone, it's a mallet. See? 2298 01:29:01,670 --> 01:29:03,662 - They can hear you. - You can still hear me, right? 2299 01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:04,996 - Yeah. - Yeah. 2300 01:29:05,173 --> 01:29:06,664 Take a look at each other. 2301 01:29:07,092 --> 01:29:08,173 - That's right. - Hi. 2302 01:29:08,927 --> 01:29:11,590 BRAD: Give a hug. Give an embrace. 2303 01:29:11,930 --> 01:29:13,421 What we have here are the makings 2304 01:29:13,515 --> 01:29:15,427 of a really great Christmas party. 2305 01:29:15,725 --> 01:29:19,218 We have a Christmas tree. We have music and snacks. 2306 01:29:19,479 --> 01:29:22,438 We have Christmas spirit. We have mirth. 2307 01:29:22,649 --> 01:29:24,060 We have snow! 2308 01:29:24,150 --> 01:29:25,311 DUSTY: You know who doesn't have snow? 2309 01:29:26,194 --> 01:29:28,356 I'll bet he knows who doesn't have snow, don't you? 2310 01:29:30,991 --> 01:29:33,324 Yeah. Yeah, I know. 2311 01:29:33,952 --> 01:29:35,784 I know where there isn't snow. 2312 01:29:36,371 --> 01:29:39,864 And there won't be snow in Africa 2313 01:29:40,500 --> 01:29:43,163 This Christmastime! 2314 01:29:45,255 --> 01:29:50,250 Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2315 01:29:53,221 --> 01:29:54,632 Merry Christmas! 2316 01:29:54,848 --> 01:29:56,259 Merry Christmas, folks! 2317 01:29:57,851 --> 01:30:01,640 (SINGING) Feed the world 2318 01:30:01,980 --> 01:30:05,724 Let them know it's Christmastime 2319 01:30:06,067 --> 01:30:08,150 Feed the world 2320 01:30:08,236 --> 01:30:09,272 What? 2321 01:30:10,238 --> 01:30:12,730 Let them know it's Christmastime 2322 01:30:12,908 --> 01:30:14,399 "Sara. 2323 01:30:15,076 --> 01:30:16,738 "Beautiful and smart. 2324 01:30:17,078 --> 01:30:19,411 "The mom that everyone loves"? 2325 01:30:20,040 --> 01:30:22,703 Oh, my God. She's basing a character on me! 2326 01:30:23,960 --> 01:30:25,076 (GIGGLING) 2327 01:30:39,643 --> 01:30:41,600 (ALL CONTINUE SINGING) 2328 01:30:56,201 --> 01:30:57,863 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 2329 01:30:59,746 --> 01:31:00,736 DUSTY: All right, guys. 2330 01:31:00,914 --> 01:31:02,155 We're not gonna see them again till Easter, 2331 01:31:02,248 --> 01:31:03,830 so everybody say good-bye to El Padre and Pop-Pop. 2332 01:31:04,000 --> 01:31:05,491 - Bye, Dylan. - MEGAN: Good-bye, El Padre! 2333 01:31:05,794 --> 01:31:07,285 Hey, next time you want to shoot a guy, 2334 01:31:07,379 --> 01:31:09,792 don't just wing him, go for center mass, okay? 2335 01:31:10,131 --> 01:31:11,121 Good-bye, Adrianna. 2336 01:31:13,510 --> 01:31:15,342 I don't want you to go, Pop-Pop! 2337 01:31:15,512 --> 01:31:16,673 - Oh, really? - Yeah, really? 2338 01:31:16,846 --> 01:31:18,212 Oh, sure. Of course, he gets a hug. 2339 01:31:18,390 --> 01:31:19,506 Maybe you can call me 2340 01:31:19,599 --> 01:31:20,965 and tell me more Pop-Pop stories. 2341 01:31:21,142 --> 01:31:22,633 I would love to! 2342 01:31:22,811 --> 01:31:25,098 Oh. And I also signed you up for SeniorMatch.com. 2343 01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:27,430 It's a dating website for old people like you. 2344 01:31:27,607 --> 01:31:29,098 Thank you, sweetie. 2345 01:31:29,985 --> 01:31:31,772 Oh, honey, it's your mom texting. 2346 01:31:31,861 --> 01:31:33,397 They're just getting off the plane. 2347 01:31:33,571 --> 01:31:35,028 I'd better go before they get here. 2348 01:31:35,115 --> 01:31:36,902 I don't want to make anything awkward. 2349 01:31:37,158 --> 01:31:38,990 - Bye, Dad. - Bye, big man. 2350 01:31:39,327 --> 01:31:41,819 BRAD: Love you. DON: I love you, too, Brad. 2351 01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:45,073 Hey, well, yeah, you have a good flight. 2352 01:31:58,638 --> 01:32:00,425 Yeah, let's not get that going. 2353 01:32:00,598 --> 01:32:01,805 I agree. You've got to start that younger. 2354 01:32:01,891 --> 01:32:02,972 We missed that window. 2355 01:32:03,143 --> 01:32:04,133 DUSTY: I really appreciate the gesture. 2356 01:32:04,227 --> 01:32:05,468 You do? Oh, then okay. 2357 01:32:05,645 --> 01:32:07,477 - Hey. I'll see you, kid. - See you soon, yeah. 2358 01:32:07,647 --> 01:32:08,728 Yeah, bye, kid. 2359 01:32:09,149 --> 01:32:11,482 - Are you coming, Pop-Pop? - DON: Come on, Captain! 2360 01:32:12,152 --> 01:32:13,142 Bye, Dad. 2361 01:32:14,112 --> 01:32:16,024 You know, Don, I've been thinking. 2362 01:32:16,114 --> 01:32:17,446 You don't need a dating app. 2363 01:32:17,615 --> 01:32:19,777 What you need is a wingman. 2364 01:32:20,076 --> 01:32:21,408 I switched our flights to Vegas. 2365 01:32:21,494 --> 01:32:23,486 New Year's at Caesar's, fix you right up. 2366 01:32:23,663 --> 01:32:25,404 Oh, that sounds wonderful! 2367 01:32:25,832 --> 01:32:27,744 Where are we connecting through? 2368 01:32:27,834 --> 01:32:29,166 Don't start with me, Pop-Pop. 2369 01:32:29,919 --> 01:32:31,911 Hey, Braddie. Don't be nervous now. 2370 01:32:32,172 --> 01:32:33,288 You are the kindest, 2371 01:32:33,381 --> 01:32:35,748 most gentle and honest guy I know. 2372 01:32:36,092 --> 01:32:38,505 And whoever your mother brings down that escalator, 2373 01:32:38,678 --> 01:32:39,964 he's gonna love you, you hear me? 2374 01:32:40,055 --> 01:32:41,341 Grandma! 2375 01:32:45,518 --> 01:32:47,009 Is that Sully? 2376 01:32:47,729 --> 01:32:48,890 Wait, wait, who? 2377 01:32:49,147 --> 01:32:50,558 DUSTY: Sully Sullenberger. 2378 01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:52,230 The guy who saved 155 passengers 2379 01:32:52,317 --> 01:32:53,478 on the miracle on the Hudson! 2380 01:32:53,651 --> 01:32:55,142 Clint Eastwood made a frickin' movie about it. 2381 01:32:55,236 --> 01:32:56,898 Wait. We watched it at your house, it was awesome! 2382 01:32:57,072 --> 01:32:58,233 Right. Tom Hanks and Aaron Eckhart. 2383 01:32:58,323 --> 01:32:59,404 I really enjoyed it. 2384 01:32:59,574 --> 01:33:00,781 DUSTY: That guy is a national hero, 2385 01:33:00,867 --> 01:33:02,483 and he's gonna be your stepdad. 2386 01:33:02,869 --> 01:33:03,950 Wow, amazing. 2387 01:33:04,120 --> 01:33:06,032 I bet you he gets free flight vouchers. 2388 01:33:06,206 --> 01:33:07,196 And maybe get us some vouchers! 2389 01:33:07,290 --> 01:33:08,280 Maybe. 2390 01:33:08,374 --> 01:33:11,458 Well, don't make him wait. Go say hi. Go! Go! 2391 01:33:11,753 --> 01:33:12,743 MEGAN: Grandma! 2392 01:33:14,339 --> 01:33:16,331 You must be Brad. 2393 01:33:16,424 --> 01:33:17,414 Nope. 2394 01:33:17,592 --> 01:33:19,299 - No, Brad. - You're not my dad! 2395 01:33:19,469 --> 01:33:20,630 Brad, no, that's a mistake! 2396 01:33:20,804 --> 01:33:22,636 I don't care how many lives you saved! 2397 01:33:22,722 --> 01:33:25,089 You'll never replace him, do you hear me? 2398 01:33:27,435 --> 01:33:29,301 Brad, he's so nice! Come back! 2399 01:33:29,479 --> 01:33:33,223 You only have one good story, my father has a million! 2400 01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:40,688 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 2401 01:35:12,832 --> 01:35:14,619 You're listening to Jason Sinclair at the Panda, 2402 01:35:14,709 --> 01:35:17,076 and I've got a little holiday recipe for you tonight. 2403 01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:20,208 Two cups of eggnog, one serving of silk pajamas, 2404 01:35:20,298 --> 01:35:22,711 and a heaping helping of a loved one. 2405 01:35:22,800 --> 01:35:25,383 And I'm gonna add a pinch of smooth jazz 2406 01:35:25,470 --> 01:35:26,802 (WHISPERS) on the Panda. 2407 01:35:26,971 --> 01:35:28,803 And I have one question for you. 2408 01:35:28,890 --> 01:35:30,131 Do you know what time it is? 2409 01:35:30,225 --> 01:35:32,262 BRAD: (SINGING) It's Christmastime 2410 01:35:33,978 --> 01:35:38,188 There's no need to be afraid, Roger 2411 01:35:38,566 --> 01:35:44,904 At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade 2412 01:35:46,491 --> 01:35:51,236 And in our world of plenty 2413 01:35:51,329 --> 01:35:55,323 We can spread a smile of joy 2414 01:35:55,583 --> 01:35:58,826 Throw your arms around the world 2415 01:35:58,920 --> 01:36:01,333 At Christmastime 2416 01:36:03,508 --> 01:36:05,215 DON: But say a prayer 2417 01:36:07,553 --> 01:36:09,966 Pray for the other ones! 2418 01:36:11,849 --> 01:36:13,511 At Christmastime 2419 01:36:13,851 --> 01:36:18,846 It's hard, but when you're having fun 2420 01:36:20,191 --> 01:36:24,526 MEGAN: There's a world outside your window 2421 01:36:25,113 --> 01:36:28,857 It's a world of dread and fear 2422 01:36:29,158 --> 01:36:33,323 DYLAN: Where the only water flowing is 2423 01:36:33,663 --> 01:36:36,497 The bitter sting of tears 2424 01:36:37,583 --> 01:36:39,119 SARA AND KAREN: And the Christmas bells 2425 01:36:39,210 --> 01:36:41,327 That ring there 2426 01:36:41,671 --> 01:36:45,164 Are the clanging chimes of doom 2427 01:36:45,508 --> 01:36:48,501 DUSTY: Well, tonight thank God it's them 2428 01:36:49,345 --> 01:36:51,837 Instead of you 2429 01:36:53,933 --> 01:36:57,426 ROGER: And there won't be snow in Africa 2430 01:36:58,062 --> 01:37:00,725 This Christmastime! 2431 01:37:02,775 --> 01:37:07,736 MEGAN: The greatest gift they'll get this year is life 2432 01:37:08,197 --> 01:37:10,689 DUSTY: Life, life 2433 01:37:10,783 --> 01:37:14,868 ROGER: Where nothing ever grows 2434 01:37:14,954 --> 01:37:18,618 BRAD: No rain nor rivers flow 2435 01:37:19,667 --> 01:37:24,583 ALL: Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2436 01:37:28,009 --> 01:37:29,671 Here's to you 2437 01:37:29,761 --> 01:37:32,219 DYLAN: Raise a glass for everyone 2438 01:37:32,305 --> 01:37:33,716 ALL: Here's to them 2439 01:37:33,806 --> 01:37:36,264 Underneath that burning sun 2440 01:37:36,351 --> 01:37:41,392 ALL: Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2441 01:37:57,330 --> 01:38:01,119 Feed the world 2442 01:38:01,459 --> 01:38:05,203 KURT: Let them know it's Christmastime 2443 01:38:05,546 --> 01:38:09,711 ALL: Feed the world 2444 01:38:09,801 --> 01:38:13,841 Let them know it's Christmastime 2445 01:38:13,930 --> 01:38:17,719 Feed the world 2446 01:38:18,059 --> 01:38:21,803 Let them know it's Christmastime 2447 01:38:22,146 --> 01:38:26,390 Feed the world 2448 01:38:26,484 --> 01:38:30,524 Let them know it's Christmastime 2449 01:38:30,613 --> 01:38:34,402 Feed the world 2450 01:38:34,742 --> 01:38:38,486 Let them know it's Christmastime 2451 01:38:38,830 --> 01:38:42,949 Feed the world 2452 01:38:43,042 --> 01:38:47,833 Let them know it's Christmastime again 2453 01:38:52,760 --> 01:38:55,423 You know. Last year, the folks at St. Benedict's, they... 2454 01:38:55,680 --> 01:38:57,262 They had a... A modern-dress Nativity. 2455 01:38:57,598 --> 01:38:58,714 Everybody hated it at first, 2456 01:38:58,808 --> 01:39:00,720 but you know the folks at St. Benedict's, 2457 01:39:00,810 --> 01:39:02,267 they got back at 'em, all right. 2458 01:39:02,520 --> 01:39:05,103 They won the prize for most original. 2459 01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:08,604 Then, of course, you have the Maplewood Christians. 2460 01:39:08,943 --> 01:39:11,026 They had a kind of friendly competition 2461 01:39:11,112 --> 01:39:13,274 with the Nazarenes, 2462 01:39:14,282 --> 01:39:17,275 and took all their hay last year. 2463 01:39:17,618 --> 01:39:19,450 Yeah, you just try setting up 2464 01:39:20,621 --> 01:39:22,453 a Nativity without hay. 2465 01:39:22,790 --> 01:39:24,622 Merry Christmas, fellas! 179723

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