Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,501 --> 00:00:07,167
[ willie ]
this is the way it began
that extraordinary night;
2
00:00:07,234 --> 00:00:09,567
the night "he" came.
3
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,834
let me just shut
this thing off.
4
00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:14,534
[ beep, beep, beep ]
what's that noise?
5
00:00:14,601 --> 00:00:16,100
[ repeating beeps ]
6
00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:18,300
oh, my gosh!
7
00:00:18,367 --> 00:00:20,567
it's the
infrared radio band.
8
00:00:20,634 --> 00:00:22,934
i've locked in
to something in space;
9
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,667
a pulsar
or a satellite.
10
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:30,801
hello? hello?
this is k-7-2-6-x-a-a.
11
00:00:30,868 --> 00:00:32,234
can you read me?
12
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:35,033
[ unrecognizable language ]
13
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,934
they're answering, but i
don't recognize the language.
14
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,968
why don't you
just shut it off?
15
00:00:40,033 --> 00:00:41,067
i can't.
16
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:44,267
i can't control it.
it's locked in.
17
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:48,801
willie, look.
what's that?
18
00:00:48,868 --> 00:00:50,667
oh, my gosh!
19
00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:53,133
it can't be!
20
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,601
what happened
to the lights?
21
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,100
daddy, what's that
thing in the sky?
22
00:00:58,167 --> 00:00:59,133
what's going on?
23
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,934
it's closing in fast.
24
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,767
i think we better...
25
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,501
[ boom! ]
26
00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:15,334
[ spaceship-type humming ]
27
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,701
we--
we have a visitor.
28
00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:24,968
**
29
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,901
here he comes!
here he comes!
30
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,367
brian, stay with me.
31
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,901
my gosh,
it's hairy!
32
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:19,434
let's put it
over here.
33
00:02:19,501 --> 00:02:20,434
no!
34
00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:22,434
lynn, clear off
the coffee table.
35
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,133
quick, it's heavy.
36
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,834
heavy and hairy!
37
00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:32,734
[ gasp ]
38
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,868
[ lynn ]
i can't believe it.
39
00:02:39,934 --> 00:02:42,501
what do you
think it is?
40
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:45,000
a real alien!
41
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:48,300
willie--
willie what is it?
42
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:51,234
i don't know.
43
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,400
brian's right.
it's an alf.
44
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:54,400
what?
45
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:57,133
an alf.
an a-l-f.
46
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,200
that's short for
"alien life form."
47
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:01,701
can alf stay
in my room?
48
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:02,901
no!
49
00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,901
this thing is not
staying in--
50
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:06,067
it's not staying!
51
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,701
why not?
e.t. got to stay.
52
00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:11,968
e.t. was a movie.
this is real.
53
00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:14,868
this is on
our coffee table.
54
00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:20,167
this is incredible;
truly amazing.
55
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,300
after all those years
of wondering, and hoping...
56
00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:25,834
that it might be possible
to contact alien life--
57
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:29,334
to have this happen,
it's a miracle.
58
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,234
it's the fulfillment
of a lifelong dream.
59
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,567
get rid of it!
60
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:34,934
absolutely.
61
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,100
we don't know anything about it.
it could be dangerous.
62
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:40,067
it could be diseased.
it could be hostile,
63
00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:42,501
or have hostile friends
or acquaintances.
64
00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:43,968
it could be anything.
65
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:46,167
we better report
it to the authorities.
66
00:03:46,234 --> 00:03:49,334
what if the authorities
do something to it?
67
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,601
yeah, what if they
poke needles in it?
68
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:55,968
no, they wouldn't
poke needles in it.
69
00:03:56,033 --> 00:03:57,601
would they, willie?
70
00:03:57,667 --> 00:04:00,234
well, they could.
71
00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:03,801
i don't think they would,
but they could.
72
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,934
and they might.
73
00:04:07,901 --> 00:04:09,968
it's exciting, but
there's no alternative.
74
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:12,100
we've got to
report this!
75
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,367
what other choice
do we have?
76
00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:14,767
aagh.
77
00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:16,634
ah, can i make
a suggestion?
78
00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:19,267
sure,
why not?
79
00:04:19,334 --> 00:04:23,400
well, if it's not
too much trouble,
80
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,300
how about fixing
my spaceship?
81
00:04:30,467 --> 00:04:33,100
hello!
read my lips.
82
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,734
it talks.
83
00:04:35,801 --> 00:04:39,968
it's heavy, it's hairy
and it talks.
84
00:04:40,033 --> 00:04:43,467
good. now how about
fixing my spaceship...
85
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:48,567
so i can get my heavy,
hairy body out of here?
86
00:04:50,868 --> 00:04:52,400
[ willie ]
i'm not sure...
87
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,033
i can fix
your spaceship.
88
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:57,534
i mean, not tonight,
not in the dark.
89
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,367
yeah, you could use
a light in that driveway.
90
00:04:59,434 --> 00:05:01,934
i've been meaning
to put one out there,
91
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,334
but you know
how it is.
92
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,901
you get busy with
one thing and another.
93
00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,934
- willie!
- i'm sorry.
it seems so human!
94
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,367
hey, there's no need
for name calling.
95
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,934
i don't think we should
get too friendly, willie.
96
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,467
she's right.
97
00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:19,067
let's have a snack now.
we'll get friendly later.
98
00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:22,000
snack?
what kind of snack?
99
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,133
you got a cat?
100
00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:25,601
you eat cats?
101
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:26,701
you can't
eat lucky.
102
00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:29,067
no cat eating.
not in this house.
103
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:31,968
all right, all right.
how about a cat-food can?
104
00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:33,234
i could use
the roughage.
105
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,601
can we give
alf a can, mom?
106
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:36,634
please?
107
00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:38,367
please?
108
00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,501
all right.
109
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:42,667
a dented one.
110
00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:45,434
c'mon, alf.
111
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,200
[ kate ]
we're going with you.
112
00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:53,534
that is amazing.
isn't that amazing?
113
00:05:53,601 --> 00:05:55,968
willie, will you come down
to earth for a minute?
114
00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:58,868
an alien being has come
to live with us,
115
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:01,734
and eat our cans
and snack on our cat.
116
00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:03,901
[ alf ]
yeah, this will do fine.
117
00:06:03,968 --> 00:06:06,400
[ tin can crunching ]
118
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,501
all right. just
give me one day, okay?
119
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:13,501
if i can't get
alf going,
120
00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,601
we'll tell somebody.
just one day.
121
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,367
[ sigh ]
122
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,234
okay.
123
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,434
meow!
124
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:25,434
he's quick!
i'll give him that.
125
00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:40,634
[ alarm clock buzz ]
126
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,200
'morning.
127
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:44,434
'morning.
128
00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:45,968
ahhhhhhh!
129
00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:46,968
ahhhhhh!
130
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:47,968
willie!
131
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,801
willie!
132
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:54,234
what's going
on out there?
133
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:57,234
nothing.
just screaming.
134
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,767
move out
of the way.
135
00:06:58,834 --> 00:06:59,868
no problem.
136
00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,901
let me put it
this way, willie.
137
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,734
i don't think this
is going to work out.
138
00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:09,267
i'll take
care of it.
139
00:07:09,334 --> 00:07:10,701
everything's fine.
140
00:07:10,767 --> 00:07:13,033
everything's
under control.
141
00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:22,534
interesting concept.
142
00:07:22,601 --> 00:07:24,100
please, come away
from there.
143
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,501
come on!
over here by me.
144
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:28,734
we've a little
problem to discuss.
145
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:32,133
you're blind
as a bat.
146
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,834
would you give those
to me, please.
147
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:35,067
no problem.
148
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:42,100
you must understand that
kate is nervous about this.
149
00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,033
absolutely.
150
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:44,734
who's kate?
151
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:46,734
my wife.
152
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:49,367
oh, yeah.
she snores.
153
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:50,200
she doesn't snore.
154
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:52,200
you calling me
a liar?
155
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,701
you just keep your
distance, all right?
156
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,300
and try to be
considerate.
157
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:57,901
no problem.
158
00:07:58,968 --> 00:08:00,601
that is not
considerate!
159
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,734
that is the opposite
of considerate!
160
00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:05,133
that is
inconsiderate!
161
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,601
look, let's just--
162
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:08,701
let's just
settle down here.
163
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:10,267
let's just take this
one step at a time.
164
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:12,467
there's no need
for you to shave.
165
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,367
you look fine.
166
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:15,701
i want to do
everything you do.
167
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,701
you're my idol.
168
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,868
i'm going to
take a shower now.
169
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:24,868
count me in.
170
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,067
i'd like to take
it alone, thank you.
171
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,167
okay. just don't use
all the hot water.
172
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:35,467
do you mind?
173
00:08:35,534 --> 00:08:37,801
never saw
a thing.
174
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,634
and stay away
from the window.
175
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:42,701
we've got a very nosy
neighbor, mrs. ochmonek.
176
00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:45,701
"ochmonek."
sounds like a typo.
177
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,934
don't let her see you.
she might turn you in.
178
00:08:58,234 --> 00:09:00,033
trevor, is there such
a thing as a cross...
179
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,667
between a kangaroo
and an aardvark?
180
00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:04,501
[ trevor ]
ah, stop putting yourself down.
181
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:06,701
i'm not talking
about me.
182
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:08,067
i'm talking about
that thing...
183
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,300
staring at me from
that bathroom window.
184
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:11,067
[ trevor ]
what?
185
00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:15,501
i don't
see nothing.
186
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:17,467
it was there
a second ago.
187
00:09:17,534 --> 00:09:19,100
i think it
was shaving.
188
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:22,234
yeah, right,
and i'm sean penn.
189
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:27,267
[ gasp ]
190
00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:30,367
towel.
191
00:09:30,434 --> 00:09:31,601
talking
to me?
192
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:34,067
hand me something
to dry off with.
193
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,901
you got it.
194
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,067
will this do the trick?
195
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,300
no problem.
196
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:03,467
- alf!
- yeah, how you doing
up there, william?
197
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:06,000
frankly, i could
use a little help.
198
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:07,767
i don't know much
about this thing.
199
00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,267
me either.
200
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,601
i turn the key
and it goes.
201
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,901
i'll get the
wrench, dad.
202
00:10:14,968 --> 00:10:18,434
lynn, do you happen
to have a phone here?
no, why?
203
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:21,701
k-l-v-z "bonus tune."
204
00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:24,367
15th caller wins
a new porsche.
205
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:27,133
forget it.
must be a licensed driver.
206
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,167
i'm a licensed driver.
207
00:10:29,234 --> 00:10:30,601
quick, what's
the name of the tune?
208
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:31,567
wrench, please!
209
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,968
"born in the u.s.a."
210
00:10:35,033 --> 00:10:36,334
no wonder i
didn't know it.
211
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,667
i'll call.
212
00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:39,367
wrench!
what's the
phone number?
213
00:10:39,434 --> 00:10:43,868
area code, 311-555-98...
214
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,767
wrrr-ench!
215
00:10:47,534 --> 00:10:49,467
4-5.
216
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,033
sorry, dad.
217
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,200
thank you.
218
00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:57,100
alf, i think you better
make contact...
219
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,434
with your people.
220
00:10:59,501 --> 00:11:01,300
i have tried.
221
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,300
i've tried
again and again.
222
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:06,634
it's an exercise
in futility.
223
00:11:06,701 --> 00:11:09,100
let's face it.
i'm trapped here!
224
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:12,534
i'll never see the purple
side of my planet again!
225
00:11:12,601 --> 00:11:14,334
[ sobbing ]
226
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,400
[ gasp ]
227
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,200
too dramatic?
228
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,200
would you mind--
i'm out of here.
229
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:26,067
if you need me,
i'll be in the house.
we won't need you.
230
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,067
i'll still
be in the house.
231
00:11:31,267 --> 00:11:34,200
yo!
lucky, my man.
meow!
232
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:37,801
[ t.v. ]
so, kids, which one
is not like the other?
233
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,133
do you get "sesame street"
where you live?
234
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,767
no, and frankly i don't
get it here, either.
235
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:46,267
[ t.v. ]
if you said, "it was the
cow riding on the subway,"
236
00:11:46,334 --> 00:11:48,467
you're absolutely right.
237
00:11:48,534 --> 00:11:52,067
brilliant! this and
the letter "i" in one day.
238
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,667
i've got to get
something to drink.
239
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:54,567
me, too.
240
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,400
where are
you two going?
241
00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:03,133
we've got to get
something to drink.
242
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,167
we're parched.
243
00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:07,067
okay, but...
244
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,000
no soda pop, and nothing
to eat before dinner.
245
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:11,200
yes, ma'am.
yes, ma'am.
246
00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:14,133
geez, what's
with the warden?
247
00:12:18,267 --> 00:12:20,467
[ pop-top cans opening ]
248
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,868
i said,
"no soda pop."
249
00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:27,434
it's not soda pop.
it's beer.
250
00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:29,934
[ burp ]
you're about out of coors.
251
00:12:30,968 --> 00:12:32,467
what?
252
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,133
give those to me!
253
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,234
hey, careful.
his is still full.
254
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,033
[ sigh ]
255
00:12:40,734 --> 00:12:42,167
now you listen
to me, alf.
256
00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:44,367
i will not allow this
behavior in my house.
257
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:48,033
this boy is only
6 years old.
258
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,934
he is not to drink beer
and you're not to drink beer.
259
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,701
i don't know what
it's like on mork,
260
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:54,167
or whatever planet
you come from--
261
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:55,367
melmac.
262
00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:56,601
what?
263
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:58,434
melmac.
264
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,601
that was the name
of my planet.
265
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,100
it's also what
it was made out of.
266
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:05,801
what do you
mean, "was"?
267
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,701
that's the thing, kate.
-- uh, ma'am.
268
00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:11,334
melmac's history.
269
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:15,234
um, are you trying
to tell me...
270
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,200
that you can't go
back to melmac?
271
00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:19,667
it exploded.
272
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,267
this was my street.
273
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:28,501
now, if willie
fixes my ship,
274
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:32,334
i suppose i could start
a new life somewhere else...
275
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,467
on some desolate,
crater-filled asteroid,
276
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:39,601
and spend the rest of my
life fending off gamma rays.
277
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:42,234
no, alf. no.
278
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,400
we want you to stay here
with us, don't we, mom?
279
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:46,400
brian, please
try to understand.
280
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:49,200
hey, the kid
wants me to stay.
281
00:13:50,467 --> 00:13:51,968
alf, do you mind?
282
00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:54,267
no problem.
283
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:59,133
we can't hide alf forever,
and i can't go on like this;
284
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,734
watching him
every moment,
285
00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:03,901
wondering what
he's going to do next.
[ burp ]
286
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:13,133
but he'll be good.
287
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,634
he won't break
the rules anymore.
288
00:14:16,701 --> 00:14:18,367
will you, alf?
289
00:14:18,434 --> 00:14:20,801
cross my heart!
290
00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:22,701
meow.
291
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:24,400
how you doing, lucky?
292
00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:27,234
see?
no problem.
293
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,367
[ groans ]
294
00:14:29,434 --> 00:14:30,901
[ knock at door ]
295
00:14:30,968 --> 00:14:33,801
oh, no.
who could that be?
296
00:14:33,868 --> 00:14:34,968
i don't know.
297
00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:36,667
don't answer it,
mom, please.
298
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:39,801
[ kate ]
brian, i'm going
to answer the door.
299
00:14:39,868 --> 00:14:41,434
no!
yes!
300
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:42,300
it's probably
mrs. ochmonek,
301
00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:43,634
but even if
it's not--
302
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:44,634
it's not!
303
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:45,801
what?
304
00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:47,501
it's not
mrs. ochmonek,
305
00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,601
unless she's just
joined the army.
306
00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:52,200
[ knock, knock ]
307
00:14:55,634 --> 00:14:57,100
it's a
military man.
308
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,467
what if he wants
to take alf away?
309
00:14:59,534 --> 00:15:01,234
i don't know, brian.
310
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,567
if that's
why he's here,
311
00:15:02,634 --> 00:15:04,567
and i decide that's
the right thing to do,
312
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:06,434
you'll have to
understand. okay?
313
00:15:06,501 --> 00:15:08,968
yes, mom.
[ knock, knock ]
314
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,334
we gave at
the office.
315
00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:14,234
alf!
316
00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:17,634
did you fix
the spaceship?
317
00:15:17,701 --> 00:15:19,601
i'm sorry.
i couldn't do it.
318
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:21,601
i don't have
the right parts.
319
00:15:21,667 --> 00:15:22,968
[ knock, knock ]
320
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,367
ball's in
your court.
321
00:15:26,934 --> 00:15:28,434
[ knock, knock ]
322
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,501
mrs. tanner?
yes.
323
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:34,868
i'm darnell valentine...
324
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,167
with the alien task force
stationed at edwards.
325
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:40,868
mind if
i come in?
yes, i do.
326
00:15:40,934 --> 00:15:42,200
fine with me.
327
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,634
mrs. tanner, we received
an anonymous tip...
328
00:15:44,701 --> 00:15:47,534
that you might be
harboring a space creature.
329
00:15:47,601 --> 00:15:49,067
a space creature?
330
00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:51,434
yes. hairy,
331
00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:53,334
about 3 feet tall.
332
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:57,367
is he considered
dangerous?
333
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,834
hard to tell until
we get it into the lab.
334
00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:02,367
what would
you do with him...
335
00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:04,300
if you did get him
in the lab?
336
00:16:04,367 --> 00:16:06,501
oh, the usual
battery of tests.
337
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:09,467
we'll see how he
responds to intense heat,
338
00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:10,601
freezing cold,
339
00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:12,667
high voltage,
340
00:16:12,734 --> 00:16:13,934
toxic substances,
341
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,767
pain,
342
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:16,968
sleep deprivation,
343
00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:18,033
inoculation,
344
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,267
that's needles,
345
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,868
and of course,
dissection.
346
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,534
[ gulp ]
347
00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:25,067
why don't
you just...
348
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:26,868
pull it's
toenails out?
349
00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:28,701
you didn't
let me finish.
350
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:34,701
don't bother.
351
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:37,801
we are not harboring
any space creatures.
352
00:16:37,868 --> 00:16:40,267
fine. thank you.
have a nice day.
353
00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,501
[ willie ]
excuse me, sir,
354
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,601
could you tell us
who gave you our name?
355
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,601
as i told mrs. tanner,
that information...
356
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,934
is strictly ochmonek,
uh, anonymous.
357
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,367
good-bye.
358
00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:57,400
thanks, mom.
359
00:16:57,467 --> 00:16:58,334
thanks, mom.
360
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,834
yeah, thanks,
361
00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:02,834
mom.
362
00:17:03,901 --> 00:17:06,167
i love this woman.
363
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:29,701
see if i can
get this thing going.
364
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,000
pull these here.
365
00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:35,634
[ bang ]
366
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:38,367
the melmac touch.
367
00:17:38,434 --> 00:17:39,534
hello?
368
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,200
anybody there?
yo!
369
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:45,000
calling anybody from
melmac. hello?
370
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:48,300
skip? larry? muffy?
371
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,200
it's gordon.
372
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,501
look, i don't know
if you can hear me,
373
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:56,000
but i just wanted
to let you know i'm okay.
374
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:59,667
i'm living with
what they call, "a family."
375
00:17:59,734 --> 00:18:04,133
they're sort of like
a herd, only smaller.
376
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,901
there's this guy
named, willie.
377
00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:08,901
he's got a good heart
and lots of smarts...
378
00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:10,567
for someone
without fur.
379
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:12,767
then there's
his wife, kate.
380
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,300
oh, dig this...
381
00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:17,000
her hair is the
same color as mine...
382
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:18,767
only her's is natural.
383
00:18:18,834 --> 00:18:20,934
ha! ha! ha!
384
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,234
yeah, and they've got
these two terrific kids...
385
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,834
who both idolize me.
386
00:18:26,901 --> 00:18:29,167
so you know
they're okay.
387
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,801
but...
388
00:18:30,868 --> 00:18:33,000
i wanted to tell
you something.
389
00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:34,234
i--
390
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,667
i really miss
all of you.
391
00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:37,868
and...
392
00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:40,634
the thought of never
seeing you again...
393
00:18:40,701 --> 00:18:43,467
sort of
breaks my heart.
394
00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:46,334
so...
395
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,367
you know,
if you could,
396
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:51,334
try to get in
touch with me,
397
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,534
or better yet,
398
00:18:53,601 --> 00:18:55,367
come by.
399
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,767
and...
400
00:18:56,834 --> 00:19:01,434
i'll introduce you
to these lovely people.
401
00:19:02,701 --> 00:19:04,534
then we could
eat their cat!
402
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,300
so, the droid says
to the "cranble"...
403
00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,734
to tell the truth,
i'd feel better...
404
00:19:14,801 --> 00:19:17,601
if she lived another
6 light years away.
405
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:20,267
ha! ha! ha!
406
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:30,334
i think that really was amusing;
"6 light years away."
407
00:19:31,734 --> 00:19:33,567
i guess you had
to be there.
408
00:19:33,634 --> 00:19:35,000
i was!
ha!
409
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:41,501
i hate to be a black cloud,
but what do we do with alf...
410
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:43,634
when lynn has her
pajama party next week?
411
00:19:43,701 --> 00:19:44,467
that's right.
412
00:19:44,534 --> 00:19:47,567
no problem.
i wear a size 5,
413
00:19:47,634 --> 00:19:49,200
but nothing
with feet in it!
414
00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:52,200
ha! ha! ha!
415
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:54,000
oh, i've got
a zillion of them.
416
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,767
here's another one
you won't like.
417
00:19:55,834 --> 00:19:59,133
these two space travelers
are going through andromeda,
418
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,133
and they run into
a space patrol.
419
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,634
he was a rookie--
420
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:16,667
closed captioned by
captions, inc., los angeles
421
00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:34,267
captions copyrighted
by alien productions
all rights reserved
27922
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof