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1
00:00:03,501 --> 00:00:07,167
This is the way it began
that extraordinary night;
2
00:00:07,234 --> 00:00:09,567
the night "he" came.
3
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,834
Let me just shut
this thing off.
4
00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:14,534
What's that noise?
5
00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:18,300
Oh, my gosh!
6
00:00:18,367 --> 00:00:20,567
It's the
infrared radio band.
7
00:00:20,634 --> 00:00:22,934
I've locked in
to something in space;
8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,667
a pulsar
or a satellite.
9
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:30,801
Hello? Hello?
This is K-7-2-6-X-A-A.
10
00:00:30,868 --> 00:00:32,234
Can you read me?
11
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,934
They're answering, but i
don't recognize the language.
12
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,968
Why don't you
just shut it off?
13
00:00:40,033 --> 00:00:41,067
I can't.
14
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:44,267
I can't control it.
It's locked in the signal.
15
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:48,801
Willie, look.
What's that?
16
00:00:48,868 --> 00:00:50,667
Oh, my gosh!
17
00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:53,133
It can't be!
18
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,601
What happened
to the lights?
19
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,100
Daddy, what's that
thing in the sky?
20
00:00:58,167 --> 00:00:59,133
What's going on?
21
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,934
It's closing in fast.
22
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,767
I think we better...
23
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,701
We... we have a visitor.
24
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,901
Here he comes!
Here he comes!
25
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,367
Brian, stay with me.
26
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,901
My gosh,
it's hairy!
27
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:19,434
Let's put it over here.
28
00:02:19,501 --> 00:02:20,434
Not on the couch!
29
00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:22,434
Lynn, clear off
the coffee table.
30
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,133
Quick, it's heavy.
31
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,834
Heavy and hairy!
32
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,868
I can't believe it.
33
00:02:39,934 --> 00:02:42,501
What do you
think it is?
34
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:45,000
A real alien!
35
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:48,300
Willie...
Willie what is it?
36
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:51,234
I don't know.
37
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,400
Brian's right.
It's an Alf.
38
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:54,400
What?
39
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:57,133
An Alf.
An A-l-f.
40
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,200
That's short for
"Alien life form."
41
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:01,701
Can Alf stay in my room?
42
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:02,901
No!
43
00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,901
This thing is not
staying in...
44
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:06,067
It's not staying!
45
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,701
Why not?
E.T. got to stay.
46
00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:11,968
E.T. was a movie.
This is real.
47
00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:14,868
This is on our coffee table.
48
00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:20,167
This is incredible;
Truly amazing.
49
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,300
After all those years
of wondering, and hoping...
50
00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:25,834
that it might be possible
to contact alien life...
51
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:29,334
to have this happen,
it's a miracle.
52
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,234
It's the fulfillment
of a lifelong dream.
53
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,567
We got to get rid of it!
54
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:34,934
Absolutely.
55
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,100
We don't know anything about it.
It could be dangerous.
56
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:40,067
It could be diseased.
It could be hostile,
57
00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:42,501
Or have hostile friends
or acquaintances.
58
00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:43,968
It could be anything.
59
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:46,167
We better report
it to the authorities.
60
00:03:46,234 --> 00:03:49,334
What if the authorities
do something to it?
61
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,601
Yeah, what if they
poke needles in it?
62
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:55,968
No, they wouldn't
poke needles in it.
63
00:03:56,033 --> 00:03:57,601
Would they, Willie?
64
00:03:57,667 --> 00:04:00,234
Well, they could.
65
00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:03,801
I don't think they would,
but they could.
66
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,934
And they might.
67
00:04:07,901 --> 00:04:09,968
It's exciting, but
there's any alternative.
68
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:12,100
We've got to
report this!
69
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,367
What other choice
do we have?
70
00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:14,767
Aagh.
71
00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:16,634
Ah, can i make a suggestion?
72
00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:19,267
Sure, why not?
73
00:04:19,334 --> 00:04:23,400
Well, if it's not
too much trouble,
74
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,300
how about fixing
my spaceship?
75
00:04:30,467 --> 00:04:33,100
Hello!
Read my lips.
76
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,734
It talks.
77
00:04:35,801 --> 00:04:39,968
It's heavy, it's hairy
and it talks.
78
00:04:40,033 --> 00:04:43,467
Good. Now how about
fixing my spaceship...
79
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:48,567
so i can get my heavy,
hairy body out of here?
80
00:04:50,868 --> 00:04:52,400
I'm not sure...
81
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,033
I can fix
your spaceship.
82
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:57,534
I mean, not tonight,
not in the dark.
83
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,367
Yeah, you could use
a light in that driveway.
84
00:04:59,434 --> 00:05:01,934
I've been meaning
to put one out there,
85
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,334
But you know
how it is.
86
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,901
You get busy with
one thing and another.
87
00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,934
- Willie!
- I'm sorry, it seems so human!
88
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,367
Hey, there's no need
for name calling.
89
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,934
I don't think we should
get too friendly, Willie.
90
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,467
She's right.
91
00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:19,067
Let's have a snack now.
We'll get friendly later.
92
00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:22,000
Snack?
What kind of snack?
93
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,133
You got a cat?
94
00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:25,601
You eat cats?
95
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:26,701
You can't eat Lucky.
96
00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:29,067
No cat eating.
Not in this house.
97
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:31,968
All right, all right.
How about a cat-food can?
98
00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:33,234
I could use the roughage.
99
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,601
Can we give Alf a can, mom?
100
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:36,634
Please?
101
00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:38,367
Please?
102
00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,501
All right.
103
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:42,667
A dented one.
104
00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:45,434
C'mon, Alf.
105
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,200
We're going with you.
106
00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:53,534
That is amazing.
Isn't that amazing?
107
00:05:53,601 --> 00:05:55,968
Willie, will you come down
to earth for a minute?
108
00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:58,868
An alien being has come
to live with us,
109
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:01,734
And eat our cans
and snack on our cat.
110
00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:03,901
Yeah, this will do fine.
111
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,501
All right. Just
give me one day, okay?
112
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:13,501
If i can't get Alf going,
113
00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,601
We'll tell somebody.
Just one day.
114
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,234
Okay.
115
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:25,434
He's quick!
I'll give him that.
116
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,200
'Morning.
117
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:44,434
'Morning.
118
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:47,968
Willie!
119
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,801
Willie!
120
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:54,234
What's going on out there?
121
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:57,234
Nothing.
Just screaming.
122
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,767
Move out of the way.
123
00:06:58,834 --> 00:06:59,868
No problem.
124
00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,901
Let me put it this way, Willie.
125
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,734
I don't think this
is going to work out.
126
00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:09,267
I'll take care of it.
127
00:07:09,334 --> 00:07:10,701
Everything's fine.
128
00:07:10,767 --> 00:07:13,033
Everything's under control.
129
00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:22,534
Interesting concept.
130
00:07:22,601 --> 00:07:24,100
Please, come away from there.
131
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,501
Come on!
Over here by me.
132
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:28,734
We've a little problem
here to discuss.
133
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:32,133
Boy, you're blind as a bat, aren't you?
134
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,834
Would you give those
to me, please.
135
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:35,067
No problem.
136
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:42,100
You must understand that
Kate is very nervous about this.
137
00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,033
Absolutely.
138
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:44,734
Who's Kate?
139
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:46,734
My wife.
140
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:49,367
Oh, yeah.
she snores.
141
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:50,200
She doesn't snore.
142
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:52,200
You calling me a liar?
143
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,701
You just keep your
distance, all right?
144
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,300
And try to be considerate.
145
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:57,901
No problem.
146
00:07:58,968 --> 00:08:00,601
That is not considerate!
147
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,734
That is the opposite
of considerate!
148
00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:05,133
That is inconsiderate!
149
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,601
Look, let's just...
150
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:08,701
Let's just settle down here.
151
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:10,267
Let's just take this
one step at a time.
152
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:12,467
There's no need
for you to shave.
153
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,367
You look fine.
154
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:15,701
I want to do
everything you do.
155
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,701
You're my idol.
156
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,868
I'm going to
take a shower now.
157
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:24,868
Count me in.
158
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,067
I'd like to take
it alone, thank you.
159
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,167
Okay. Just don't use
all the hot water.
160
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:35,467
Do you mind?
161
00:08:35,534 --> 00:08:37,801
Never saw a thing.
162
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,634
And stay away
from the window.
163
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:42,701
We've got a very nosy
neighbor, Mrs. Ochmonek.
164
00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:45,701
"Ochmonek."
Sounds like a typo.
165
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,934
Just don't let her see you.
She might turn you in.
166
00:08:58,234 --> 00:09:00,033
Trevor, is there such
a thing as a cross...
167
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,667
between a kangaroo
and an aardvark?
168
00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:04,501
Ah, stop putting yourself down.
169
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:06,701
I'm not talking about me,
170
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:08,067
i'm talking about that thing...
171
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,300
staring at me from
that bathroom window.
172
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:11,067
What?
173
00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:15,501
I don't see nothing.
174
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:17,467
It was there a second ago.
175
00:09:17,534 --> 00:09:19,100
I think it was shaving.
176
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:22,234
Yeah, right, and i'm Sean Penn.
177
00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:30,367
Towel.
178
00:09:30,434 --> 00:09:31,601
You talking to me?
179
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:34,067
Yeah, would you hand me something
to dry off with, please.
180
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,901
You got it.
181
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,067
Will this do the trick?
182
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,300
No problem.
183
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:03,467
Yeah, how you doing
up there, William?
184
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:06,000
Frankly, i could
use a little help.
185
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:07,767
I don't know much
about this thing.
186
00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,267
Me either.
187
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,601
I just turn the key
and it goes.
188
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,901
I'll get the wrench, dad.
189
00:10:14,968 --> 00:10:18,434
- Lynn, do you happen to have a phone here?
- No, why?
190
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:21,701
K-L-V-Z, "Bonus tune."
191
00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:24,367
15th caller wins
a new porsche.
192
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:27,133
Oh wait, forget it.
Must be a licensed driver.
193
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,167
- Wrench, please.
- Im a licensed driver.
194
00:10:29,234 --> 00:10:30,601
Quick, what's
the name of the tune?
195
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:31,567
Wrench, please!
196
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,968
"Born in the U.S.A."
197
00:10:35,033 --> 00:10:36,334
No wonder i didn't know it.
198
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,667
I'll call.
199
00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:39,367
- Wrench!
- What's the phone number?
200
00:10:39,434 --> 00:10:43,868
Area code, 311-555-98...
201
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,767
Wrrr-ench!
202
00:10:47,534 --> 00:10:49,467
4-5.
203
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,033
Sorry, dad.
204
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,200
Thank you.
205
00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:57,100
Alf, i think you better
make contact...
206
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,434
with your people.
207
00:10:59,501 --> 00:11:01,300
I have tried.
208
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,300
I've tried again and again.
209
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:06,634
It's an exercise in futility.
210
00:11:06,701 --> 00:11:09,100
Let's face it.
I'm trapped here!
211
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:12,534
I'll never see the purple
side of my planet again!
212
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,200
Too dramatic?
213
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,200
- Look, if you not gonna help...
- I'm out of here.
214
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:26,067
- If you need me, i'll be in the house.
- We won't need you.
215
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,067
I'll still be in the house.
216
00:11:31,267 --> 00:11:34,200
Yo! Lucky, my man.
217
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:37,801
So, kids, which one of this things
is not like the other?
218
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,133
Do you get "Sesame street"
where you live?
219
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,767
No, and frankly i don't
get it here, either.
220
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:46,267
If you said, "It was the
cow riding on the subway,"
221
00:11:46,334 --> 00:11:48,467
you're absolutely right.
222
00:11:48,534 --> 00:11:52,067
Brilliant! This and
the letter "I" in one day.
223
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,667
I've got to get
something to drink.
224
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:55,567
Me, too.
225
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,400
Where are you two going?
226
00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:03,133
We've got to get
something to drink.
227
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,167
We're parched.
228
00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:07,067
Okay, but...
229
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,000
No soda pop, and nothing
to eat before dinner.
230
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:11,200
- Yes, ma'am.
- Yes, ma'am.
231
00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:14,133
Geez, what's with the warden?
232
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,868
I said no soda pop.
233
00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:27,434
It's not soda pop.
It's beer.
234
00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:29,934
You're about out of coors.
235
00:12:30,968 --> 00:12:32,467
What?
236
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,133
Give those to me!
237
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,234
Hey, careful. His is still full.
238
00:12:40,734 --> 00:12:42,167
Now you just listen to me, Alf.
239
00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:44,367
I will not allow this kind of
behavior in my house.
240
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:48,033
This boy is only 6 years old,
241
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,934
he is not to drink beer
and you're not to drink beer.
242
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,701
I don't know what
it's like on "Mork",
243
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:54,167
Or whatever planet you come from...
244
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:55,367
Melmac.
245
00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:56,601
What?
246
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:58,434
Melmac.
247
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,601
That was the name
of my planet.
248
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,100
It's also what
it was made out of.
249
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:05,801
What do you mean, "was"?
250
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,701
Well, you see that's the thing, Kate.
Uh, ma'am.
251
00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:11,334
Melmac's history.
252
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:15,234
Are you trying to tell me...
253
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,200
that you can't go back to Melmac?
254
00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:19,667
It exploded.
255
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,267
This was my street.
256
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:28,501
Now, if Willie fixes my ship,
257
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:32,334
I suppose i could start
a new life somewhere else...
258
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,467
on some desolate,
crater-filled asteroid,
259
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:39,601
and spend the rest of my
life fending off gamma rays.
260
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:42,234
No, Alf. no.
261
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,400
We want you to stay here
with us, don't we, mom?
262
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:46,400
Brian, please
try to understand.
263
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:49,200
Hey, the kid wants me to stay.
264
00:13:50,467 --> 00:13:51,968
Alf, do you mind?
265
00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:54,267
Oh, yeah, no problem.
266
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:59,133
We can't hide alf forever,
and i can't go on like this;
267
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,734
watching him
every moment,
268
00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:03,901
wondering what
he's going to do next.
269
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:13,133
But he'll be good.
270
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,634
He won't break
the rules anymore.
271
00:14:16,701 --> 00:14:18,367
Will you, Alf?
272
00:14:18,434 --> 00:14:20,801
Cross my heart!
273
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:24,400
How you doing, Lucky?
274
00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:27,234
See? No problem.
275
00:14:30,968 --> 00:14:33,801
Oh, no.
Who could that be?
276
00:14:33,868 --> 00:14:34,968
I don't know.
277
00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:36,667
Don't answer it,
mom, please.
278
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:39,801
Brian, i'm going
to answer the door.
279
00:14:39,868 --> 00:14:41,434
- No!
- Yes!
280
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:42,300
it's probably just
Mrs. Ochmonek,
281
00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:43,634
but even if it's not...
282
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:44,634
It's not!
283
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:45,801
What?
284
00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:47,501
It's not Mrs. Ochmonek,
285
00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,601
Unless she's just joined the army.
286
00:14:55,634 --> 00:14:57,100
It is a military man.
287
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,467
What if he wants
to take Alf away?
288
00:14:59,534 --> 00:15:01,234
I don't know, Brian.
289
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,567
But if that's why he's here for,
290
00:15:02,634 --> 00:15:04,567
and if i decide that's
the right thing to do,
291
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:06,434
you'll just have to
understand. Okay?
292
00:15:06,501 --> 00:15:08,968
Yes, mom.
293
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,334
We gave at the office.
294
00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:14,234
Alf!
295
00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:17,634
Did you fix the spaceship?
296
00:15:17,701 --> 00:15:19,601
I'm sorry. I couldn't do it.
297
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:21,601
I don't have the right parts.
298
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,367
Ball's in your court.
299
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,501
- Mrs. Tanner?
- Yes.
300
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:34,868
I'm Darnell Valentine...
301
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,167
with the alien task force
stationed at Edwards.
302
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:40,868
- 'Mind if i come in?
- Yes, i do.
303
00:15:40,934 --> 00:15:42,200
Fine with me.
304
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,634
Mrs. Tanner, we've received
an anonymous tip...
305
00:15:44,701 --> 00:15:47,534
that you might be
harboring a space creature.
306
00:15:47,601 --> 00:15:49,067
A space creature?
307
00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:51,434
Yes. Hairy,
308
00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:53,334
about 3 feet tall.
309
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:57,367
Is he considered dangerous?
310
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,834
Hard to tell until
we get it into the lab.
311
00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:02,367
And ah, what would
you do with him...
312
00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:04,300
if you did get him, you know,
in the lab?
313
00:16:04,367 --> 00:16:06,501
Oh, the usual battery of tests.
314
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:09,467
We'll see how he
responds to intense heat,
315
00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:10,601
freezing cold,
316
00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:12,667
high voltage,
317
00:16:12,734 --> 00:16:13,934
toxic substances,
318
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,767
pain,
319
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:16,968
sleep deprivation,
320
00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:18,033
inoculation,
321
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,267
that's needles,
322
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,868
and of course,
dissection.
323
00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:25,067
Why don't you just...
324
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:26,868
pull it's toenails out?
325
00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:28,701
You didn't let me finish.
326
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:34,701
Don't bother.
327
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:37,801
We are not harboring
any space creatures.
328
00:16:37,868 --> 00:16:40,267
Fine. Thank you.
Have a nice day.
329
00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,501
Excuse me, sir,
330
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,601
could you tell us
who gave you our name?
331
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,601
As i told Mrs. Tanner,
that information...
332
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,934
is strictly Ochmonek,
uh, anonymous.
333
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,367
Good bye.
334
00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:57,400
Thanks, mom.
335
00:16:57,467 --> 00:16:58,334
Thanks, mom.
336
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,834
Yeah, thanks,
337
00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:02,834
mom.
338
00:17:03,901 --> 00:17:06,167
I love this woman.
339
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:29,701
Let see if i can
get this thing going.
340
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,000
Pull these here.
341
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:38,367
The Melmac touch.
342
00:17:38,434 --> 00:17:39,534
Hello?
343
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,200
Anybody there?
Yo!
344
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:45,000
Calling anybody from
Melmac. Hello?
345
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:48,300
Skip? Larry? Muffy?
346
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,200
It's Gordon.
347
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,501
Look, i don't know
if you can hear me,
348
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:56,000
but i just wanted
to let you know i'm okay.
349
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:59,667
I'm living with
what they call, "a family."
350
00:17:59,734 --> 00:18:04,133
They're sort of like
a herd, only smaller.
351
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,901
There's this guy named, Willie,
352
00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:08,901
and he's got a good heart
and lots of smarts...
353
00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:10,567
for someone without fur.
354
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:12,767
Then there's his wife, Kate.
355
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,300
Oh, oh, and hay, dig this...
356
00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:17,000
her hair is the
same color as mine...
357
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:18,767
only her's is natural.
358
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,234
Yeah, and they've got
these two terrific kids...
359
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,834
who both idolize me.
360
00:18:26,901 --> 00:18:29,167
So, so you know
they're okay.
361
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,801
But...
362
00:18:30,868 --> 00:18:33,000
i wanted to tell
you something.
363
00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:34,234
I...
364
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,667
i really miss
all of you.
365
00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:37,868
And...
366
00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:40,634
the thought of never
seeing you again...
367
00:18:40,701 --> 00:18:43,467
sort of
breaks my heart.
368
00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:46,334
So...
369
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,367
you know, if you could,
370
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:51,334
try to get in touch with me,
371
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,534
or better yet,
372
00:18:53,601 --> 00:18:55,367
come by.
373
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,767
And...
374
00:18:56,834 --> 00:19:01,434
i'll introduce you
to these lovely people.
375
00:19:02,701 --> 00:19:04,534
And then we could eat their cat.
376
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,300
So, the droid says
to the "cranble"...
377
00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,734
to tell you the truth,
i'd feel better...
378
00:19:14,801 --> 00:19:18,601
if she lived another
6 light years away.
379
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:30,334
I think that really was amusing;
"6 light years away."
380
00:19:31,734 --> 00:19:33,567
I guess you had
to be there.
381
00:19:33,634 --> 00:19:35,000
I was!
382
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:41,501
I hate to be a black cloud,
but what do we do with Alf...
383
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:43,634
when Lynn has her
pajama party next week?
384
00:19:43,701 --> 00:19:44,467
That's right.
385
00:19:44,534 --> 00:19:47,567
Hay, no problem.
I wear a size 5,
386
00:19:47,634 --> 00:19:49,200
but nothing with feet in it!
387
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:54,000
Oh, i've got a zillion of them.
388
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,767
Here's another one
you won't like.
389
00:19:55,834 --> 00:19:59,133
These two space travelers
are going through andromeda,
390
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,133
and they run into
a space patrol.
391
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,734
he was a rookie,
now remember this
392
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:04,439
it's inportant for
the end of the story...
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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