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1
00:00:03,501 --> 00:00:07,167
[ willie ]
this is the way it began
that extraordinary night;
2
00:00:07,234 --> 00:00:09,567
the night "he" came.
3
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,834
let me just shut
this thing off.
4
00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:14,534
[ beep, beep, beep ]
what's that noise?
5
00:00:14,601 --> 00:00:16,100
[ repeating beeps ]
6
00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:18,300
oh, my gosh!
7
00:00:18,367 --> 00:00:20,567
it's the
infrared radio band.
8
00:00:20,634 --> 00:00:22,934
i've locked in
to something in space;
9
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,667
a pulsar
or a satellite.
10
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:30,801
hello? hello?
this is k-7-2-6-x-a-a.
11
00:00:30,868 --> 00:00:32,234
can you read me?
12
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:35,033
[ unrecognizable language ]
13
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,934
they're answering, but i
don't recognize the language.
14
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,968
why don't you
just shut it off?
15
00:00:40,033 --> 00:00:41,067
i can't.
16
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:44,267
i can't control it.
it's locked in.
17
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:48,801
willie, look.
what's that?
18
00:00:48,868 --> 00:00:50,667
oh, my gosh!
19
00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:53,133
it can't be!
20
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,601
what happened
to the lights?
21
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,100
daddy, what's that
thing in the sky?
22
00:00:58,167 --> 00:00:59,133
what's going on?
23
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,934
it's closing in fast.
24
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,767
i think we better...
25
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,501
[ boom! ]
26
00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:15,334
[ spaceship-type humming ]
27
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,701
we--
we have a visitor.
28
00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:24,968
**
29
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,901
here he comes!
here he comes!
30
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,367
brian, stay with me.
31
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,901
my gosh,
it's hairy!
32
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:19,434
let's put it
over here.
33
00:02:19,501 --> 00:02:20,434
no!
34
00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:22,434
lynn, clear off
the coffee table.
35
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,133
quick, it's heavy.
36
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,834
heavy and hairy!
37
00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:32,734
[ gasp ]
38
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,868
[ lynn ]
i can't believe it.
39
00:02:39,934 --> 00:02:42,501
what do you
think it is?
40
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:45,000
a real alien!
41
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:48,300
willie--
willie what is it?
42
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:51,234
i don't know.
43
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,400
brian's right.
it's an alf.
44
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:54,400
what?
45
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:57,133
an alf.
an a-l-f.
46
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,200
that's short for
"alien life form."
47
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:01,701
can alf stay
in my room?
48
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:02,901
no!
49
00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,901
this thing is not
staying in--
50
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:06,067
it's not staying!
51
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,701
why not?
e.t. got to stay.
52
00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:11,968
e.t. was a movie.
this is real.
53
00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:14,868
this is on
our coffee table.
54
00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:20,167
this is incredible;
truly amazing.
55
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,300
after all those years
of wondering, and hoping...
56
00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:25,834
that it might be possible
to contact alien life--
57
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:29,334
to have this happen,
it's a miracle.
58
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,234
it's the fulfillment
of a lifelong dream.
59
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,567
get rid of it!
60
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:34,934
absolutely.
61
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,100
we don't know anything about it.
it could be dangerous.
62
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:40,067
it could be diseased.
it could be hostile,
63
00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:42,501
or have hostile friends
or acquaintances.
64
00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:43,968
it could be anything.
65
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:46,167
we better report
it to the authorities.
66
00:03:46,234 --> 00:03:49,334
what if the authorities
do something to it?
67
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,601
yeah, what if they
poke needles in it?
68
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:55,968
no, they wouldn't
poke needles in it.
69
00:03:56,033 --> 00:03:57,601
would they, willie?
70
00:03:57,667 --> 00:04:00,234
well, they could.
71
00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:03,801
i don't think they would,
but they could.
72
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,934
and they might.
73
00:04:07,901 --> 00:04:09,968
it's exciting, but
there's no alternative.
74
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:12,100
we've got to
report this!
75
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,367
what other choice
do we have?
76
00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:14,767
aagh.
77
00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:16,634
ah, can i make
a suggestion?
78
00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:19,267
sure,
why not?
79
00:04:19,334 --> 00:04:23,400
well, if it's not
too much trouble,
80
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,300
how about fixing
my spaceship?
81
00:04:30,467 --> 00:04:33,100
hello!
read my lips.
82
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,734
it talks.
83
00:04:35,801 --> 00:04:39,968
it's heavy, it's hairy
and it talks.
84
00:04:40,033 --> 00:04:43,467
good. now how about
fixing my spaceship...
85
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:48,567
so i can get my heavy,
hairy body out of here?
86
00:04:50,868 --> 00:04:52,400
[ willie ]
i'm not sure...
87
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,033
i can fix
your spaceship.
88
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:57,534
i mean, not tonight,
not in the dark.
89
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,367
yeah, you could use
a light in that driveway.
90
00:04:59,434 --> 00:05:01,934
i've been meaning
to put one out there,
91
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,334
but you know
how it is.
92
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,901
you get busy with
one thing and another.
93
00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,934
- willie!
- i'm sorry.
it seems so human!
94
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,367
hey, there's no need
for name calling.
95
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,934
i don't think we should
get too friendly, willie.
96
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,467
she's right.
97
00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:19,067
let's have a snack now.
we'll get friendly later.
98
00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:22,000
snack?
what kind of snack?
99
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,133
you got a cat?
100
00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:25,601
you eat cats?
101
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:26,701
you can't
eat lucky.
102
00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:29,067
no cat eating.
not in this house.
103
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:31,968
all right, all right.
how about a cat-food can?
104
00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:33,234
i could use
the roughage.
105
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,601
can we give
alf a can, mom?
106
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:36,634
please?
107
00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:38,367
please?
108
00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,501
all right.
109
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:42,667
a dented one.
110
00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:45,434
c'mon, alf.
111
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,200
[ kate ]
we're going with you.
112
00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:53,534
that is amazing.
isn't that amazing?
113
00:05:53,601 --> 00:05:55,968
willie, will you come down
to earth for a minute?
114
00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:58,868
an alien being has come
to live with us,
115
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:01,734
and eat our cans
and snack on our cat.
116
00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:03,901
[ alf ]
yeah, this will do fine.
117
00:06:03,968 --> 00:06:06,400
[ tin can crunching ]
118
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,501
all right. just
give me one day, okay?
119
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:13,501
if i can't get
alf going,
120
00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,601
we'll tell somebody.
just one day.
121
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,367
[ sigh ]
122
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,234
okay.
123
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,434
meow!
124
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:25,434
he's quick!
i'll give him that.
125
00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:40,634
[ alarm clock buzz ]
126
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,200
'morning.
127
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:44,434
'morning.
128
00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:45,968
ahhhhhhh!
129
00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:46,968
ahhhhhh!
130
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:47,968
willie!
131
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,801
willie!
132
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:54,234
what's going
on out there?
133
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:57,234
nothing.
just screaming.
134
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,767
move out
of the way.
135
00:06:58,834 --> 00:06:59,868
no problem.
136
00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,901
let me put it
this way, willie.
137
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,734
i don't think this
is going to work out.
138
00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:09,267
i'll take
care of it.
139
00:07:09,334 --> 00:07:10,701
everything's fine.
140
00:07:10,767 --> 00:07:13,033
everything's
under control.
141
00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:22,534
interesting concept.
142
00:07:22,601 --> 00:07:24,100
please, come away
from there.
143
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,501
come on!
over here by me.
144
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:28,734
we've a little
problem to discuss.
145
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:32,133
you're blind
as a bat.
146
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,834
would you give those
to me, please.
147
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:35,067
no problem.
148
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:42,100
you must understand that
kate is nervous about this.
149
00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,033
absolutely.
150
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:44,734
who's kate?
151
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:46,734
my wife.
152
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:49,367
oh, yeah.
she snores.
153
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:50,200
she doesn't snore.
154
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:52,200
you calling me
a liar?
155
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,701
you just keep your
distance, all right?
156
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,300
and try to be
considerate.
157
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:57,901
no problem.
158
00:07:58,968 --> 00:08:00,601
that is not
considerate!
159
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,734
that is the opposite
of considerate!
160
00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:05,133
that is
inconsiderate!
161
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,601
look, let's just--
162
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:08,701
let's just
settle down here.
163
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:10,267
let's just take this
one step at a time.
164
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:12,467
there's no need
for you to shave.
165
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,367
you look fine.
166
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:15,701
i want to do
everything you do.
167
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,701
you're my idol.
168
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,868
i'm going to
take a shower now.
169
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:24,868
count me in.
170
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,067
i'd like to take
it alone, thank you.
171
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,167
okay. just don't use
all the hot water.
172
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:35,467
do you mind?
173
00:08:35,534 --> 00:08:37,801
never saw
a thing.
174
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,634
and stay away
from the window.
175
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:42,701
we've got a very nosy
neighbor, mrs. ochmonek.
176
00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:45,701
"ochmonek."
sounds like a typo.
177
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,934
don't let her see you.
she might turn you in.
178
00:08:58,234 --> 00:09:00,033
trevor, is there such
a thing as a cross...
179
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,667
between a kangaroo
and an aardvark?
180
00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:04,501
[ trevor ]
ah, stop putting yourself down.
181
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:06,701
i'm not talking
about me.
182
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:08,067
i'm talking about
that thing...
183
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,300
staring at me from
that bathroom window.
184
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:11,067
[ trevor ]
what?
185
00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:15,501
i don't
see nothing.
186
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:17,467
it was there
a second ago.
187
00:09:17,534 --> 00:09:19,100
i think it
was shaving.
188
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:22,234
yeah, right,
and i'm sean penn.
189
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:27,267
[ gasp ]
190
00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:30,367
towel.
191
00:09:30,434 --> 00:09:31,601
talking
to me?
192
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:34,067
hand me something
to dry off with.
193
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,901
you got it.
194
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,067
will this do the trick?
195
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,300
no problem.
196
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:03,467
- alf!
- yeah, how you doing
up there, william?
197
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:06,000
frankly, i could
use a little help.
198
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:07,767
i don't know much
about this thing.
199
00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,267
me either.
200
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,601
i turn the key
and it goes.
201
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,901
i'll get the
wrench, dad.
202
00:10:14,968 --> 00:10:18,434
lynn, do you happen
to have a phone here?
no, why?
203
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:21,701
k-l-v-z "bonus tune."
204
00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:24,367
15th caller wins
a new porsche.
205
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:27,133
forget it.
must be a licensed driver.
206
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,167
i'm a licensed driver.
207
00:10:29,234 --> 00:10:30,601
quick, what's
the name of the tune?
208
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:31,567
wrench, please!
209
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,968
"born in the u.s.a."
210
00:10:35,033 --> 00:10:36,334
no wonder i
didn't know it.
211
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,667
i'll call.
212
00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:39,367
wrench!
what's the
phone number?
213
00:10:39,434 --> 00:10:43,868
area code, 311-555-98...
214
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,767
wrrr-ench!
215
00:10:47,534 --> 00:10:49,467
4-5.
216
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,033
sorry, dad.
217
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,200
thank you.
218
00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:57,100
alf, i think you better
make contact...
219
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,434
with your people.
220
00:10:59,501 --> 00:11:01,300
i have tried.
221
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,300
i've tried
again and again.
222
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:06,634
it's an exercise
in futility.
223
00:11:06,701 --> 00:11:09,100
let's face it.
i'm trapped here!
224
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:12,534
i'll never see the purple
side of my planet again!
225
00:11:12,601 --> 00:11:14,334
[ sobbing ]
226
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,400
[ gasp ]
227
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,200
too dramatic?
228
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,200
would you mind--
i'm out of here.
229
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:26,067
if you need me,
i'll be in the house.
we won't need you.
230
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,067
i'll still
be in the house.
231
00:11:31,267 --> 00:11:34,200
yo!
lucky, my man.
meow!
232
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:37,801
[ t.v. ]
so, kids, which one
is not like the other?
233
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,133
do you get "sesame street"
where you live?
234
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,767
no, and frankly i don't
get it here, either.
235
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:46,267
[ t.v. ]
if you said, "it was the
cow riding on the subway,"
236
00:11:46,334 --> 00:11:48,467
you're absolutely right.
237
00:11:48,534 --> 00:11:52,067
brilliant! this and
the letter "i" in one day.
238
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,667
i've got to get
something to drink.
239
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:54,567
me, too.
240
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,400
where are
you two going?
241
00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:03,133
we've got to get
something to drink.
242
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,167
we're parched.
243
00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:07,067
okay, but...
244
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,000
no soda pop, and nothing
to eat before dinner.
245
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:11,200
yes, ma'am.
yes, ma'am.
246
00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:14,133
geez, what's
with the warden?
247
00:12:18,267 --> 00:12:20,467
[ pop-top cans opening ]
248
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,868
i said,
"no soda pop."
249
00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:27,434
it's not soda pop.
it's beer.
250
00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:29,934
[ burp ]
you're about out of coors.
251
00:12:30,968 --> 00:12:32,467
what?
252
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,133
give those to me!
253
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,234
hey, careful.
his is still full.
254
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,033
[ sigh ]
255
00:12:40,734 --> 00:12:42,167
now you listen
to me, alf.
256
00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:44,367
i will not allow this
behavior in my house.
257
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:48,033
this boy is only
6 years old.
258
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,934
he is not to drink beer
and you're not to drink beer.
259
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,701
i don't know what
it's like on mork,
260
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:54,167
or whatever planet
you come from--
261
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:55,367
melmac.
262
00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:56,601
what?
263
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:58,434
melmac.
264
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,601
that was the name
of my planet.
265
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,100
it's also what
it was made out of.
266
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:05,801
what do you
mean, "was"?
267
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,701
that's the thing, kate.
-- uh, ma'am.
268
00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:11,334
melmac's history.
269
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:15,234
um, are you trying
to tell me...
270
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,200
that you can't go
back to melmac?
271
00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:19,667
it exploded.
272
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,267
this was my street.
273
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:28,501
now, if willie
fixes my ship,
274
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:32,334
i suppose i could start
a new life somewhere else...
275
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,467
on some desolate,
crater-filled asteroid,
276
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:39,601
and spend the rest of my
life fending off gamma rays.
277
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:42,234
no, alf. no.
278
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,400
we want you to stay here
with us, don't we, mom?
279
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:46,400
brian, please
try to understand.
280
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:49,200
hey, the kid
wants me to stay.
281
00:13:50,467 --> 00:13:51,968
alf, do you mind?
282
00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:54,267
no problem.
283
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:59,133
we can't hide alf forever,
and i can't go on like this;
284
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,734
watching him
every moment,
285
00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:03,901
wondering what
he's going to do next.
[ burp ]
286
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:13,133
but he'll be good.
287
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,634
he won't break
the rules anymore.
288
00:14:16,701 --> 00:14:18,367
will you, alf?
289
00:14:18,434 --> 00:14:20,801
cross my heart!
290
00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:22,701
meow.
291
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:24,400
how you doing, lucky?
292
00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:27,234
see?
no problem.
293
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,367
[ groans ]
294
00:14:29,434 --> 00:14:30,901
[ knock at door ]
295
00:14:30,968 --> 00:14:33,801
oh, no.
who could that be?
296
00:14:33,868 --> 00:14:34,968
i don't know.
297
00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:36,667
don't answer it,
mom, please.
298
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:39,801
[ kate ]
brian, i'm going
to answer the door.
299
00:14:39,868 --> 00:14:41,434
no!
yes!
300
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:42,300
it's probably
mrs. ochmonek,
301
00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:43,634
but even if
it's not--
302
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:44,634
it's not!
303
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:45,801
what?
304
00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:47,501
it's not
mrs. ochmonek,
305
00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,601
unless she's just
joined the army.
306
00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:52,200
[ knock, knock ]
307
00:14:55,634 --> 00:14:57,100
it's a
military man.
308
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,467
what if he wants
to take alf away?
309
00:14:59,534 --> 00:15:01,234
i don't know, brian.
310
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,567
if that's
why he's here,
311
00:15:02,634 --> 00:15:04,567
and i decide that's
the right thing to do,
312
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:06,434
you'll have to
understand. okay?
313
00:15:06,501 --> 00:15:08,968
yes, mom.
[ knock, knock ]
314
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,334
we gave at
the office.
315
00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:14,234
alf!
316
00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:17,634
did you fix
the spaceship?
317
00:15:17,701 --> 00:15:19,601
i'm sorry.
i couldn't do it.
318
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:21,601
i don't have
the right parts.
319
00:15:21,667 --> 00:15:22,968
[ knock, knock ]
320
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,367
ball's in
your court.
321
00:15:26,934 --> 00:15:28,434
[ knock, knock ]
322
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,501
mrs. tanner?
yes.
323
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:34,868
i'm darnell valentine...
324
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,167
with the alien task force
stationed at edwards.
325
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:40,868
mind if
i come in?
yes, i do.
326
00:15:40,934 --> 00:15:42,200
fine with me.
327
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,634
mrs. tanner, we received
an anonymous tip...
328
00:15:44,701 --> 00:15:47,534
that you might be
harboring a space creature.
329
00:15:47,601 --> 00:15:49,067
a space creature?
330
00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:51,434
yes. hairy,
331
00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:53,334
about 3 feet tall.
332
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:57,367
is he considered
dangerous?
333
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,834
hard to tell until
we get it into the lab.
334
00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:02,367
what would
you do with him...
335
00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:04,300
if you did get him
in the lab?
336
00:16:04,367 --> 00:16:06,501
oh, the usual
battery of tests.
337
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:09,467
we'll see how he
responds to intense heat,
338
00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:10,601
freezing cold,
339
00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:12,667
high voltage,
340
00:16:12,734 --> 00:16:13,934
toxic substances,
341
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,767
pain,
342
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:16,968
sleep deprivation,
343
00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:18,033
inoculation,
344
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,267
that's needles,
345
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,868
and of course,
dissection.
346
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,534
[ gulp ]
347
00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:25,067
why don't
you just...
348
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:26,868
pull it's
toenails out?
349
00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:28,701
you didn't
let me finish.
350
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:34,701
don't bother.
351
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:37,801
we are not harboring
any space creatures.
352
00:16:37,868 --> 00:16:40,267
fine. thank you.
have a nice day.
353
00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,501
[ willie ]
excuse me, sir,
354
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,601
could you tell us
who gave you our name?
355
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,601
as i told mrs. tanner,
that information...
356
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,934
is strictly ochmonek,
uh, anonymous.
357
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,367
good-bye.
358
00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:57,400
thanks, mom.
359
00:16:57,467 --> 00:16:58,334
thanks, mom.
360
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,834
yeah, thanks,
361
00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:02,834
mom.
362
00:17:03,901 --> 00:17:06,167
i love this woman.
363
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:29,701
see if i can
get this thing going.
364
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,000
pull these here.
365
00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:35,634
[ bang ]
366
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:38,367
the melmac touch.
367
00:17:38,434 --> 00:17:39,534
hello?
368
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,200
anybody there?
yo!
369
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:45,000
calling anybody from
melmac. hello?
370
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:48,300
skip? larry? muffy?
371
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,200
it's gordon.
372
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,501
look, i don't know
if you can hear me,
373
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:56,000
but i just wanted
to let you know i'm okay.
374
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:59,667
i'm living with
what they call, "a family."
375
00:17:59,734 --> 00:18:04,133
they're sort of like
a herd, only smaller.
376
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,901
there's this guy
named, willie.
377
00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:08,901
he's got a good heart
and lots of smarts...
378
00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:10,567
for someone
without fur.
379
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:12,767
then there's
his wife, kate.
380
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,300
oh, dig this...
381
00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:17,000
her hair is the
same color as mine...
382
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:18,767
only her's is natural.
383
00:18:18,834 --> 00:18:20,934
ha! ha! ha!
384
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,234
yeah, and they've got
these two terrific kids...
385
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,834
who both idolize me.
386
00:18:26,901 --> 00:18:29,167
so you know
they're okay.
387
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,801
but...
388
00:18:30,868 --> 00:18:33,000
i wanted to tell
you something.
389
00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:34,234
i--
390
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,667
i really miss
all of you.
391
00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:37,868
and...
392
00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:40,634
the thought of never
seeing you again...
393
00:18:40,701 --> 00:18:43,467
sort of
breaks my heart.
394
00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:46,334
so...
395
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,367
you know,
if you could,
396
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:51,334
try to get in
touch with me,
397
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,534
or better yet,
398
00:18:53,601 --> 00:18:55,367
come by.
399
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,767
and...
400
00:18:56,834 --> 00:19:01,434
i'll introduce you
to these lovely people.
401
00:19:02,701 --> 00:19:04,534
then we could
eat their cat!
402
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,300
so, the droid says
to the "cranble"...
403
00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,734
to tell the truth,
i'd feel better...
404
00:19:14,801 --> 00:19:17,601
if she lived another
6 light years away.
405
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:20,267
ha! ha! ha!
406
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:30,334
i think that really was amusing;
"6 light years away."
407
00:19:31,734 --> 00:19:33,567
i guess you had
to be there.
408
00:19:33,634 --> 00:19:35,000
i was!
ha!
409
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:41,501
i hate to be a black cloud,
but what do we do with alf...
410
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:43,634
when lynn has her
pajama party next week?
411
00:19:43,701 --> 00:19:44,467
that's right.
412
00:19:44,534 --> 00:19:47,567
no problem.
i wear a size 5,
413
00:19:47,634 --> 00:19:49,200
but nothing
with feet in it!
414
00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:52,200
ha! ha! ha!
415
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:54,000
oh, i've got
a zillion of them.
416
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,767
here's another one
you won't like.
417
00:19:55,834 --> 00:19:59,133
these two space travelers
are going through andromeda,
418
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,133
and they run into
a space patrol.
419
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,634
he was a rookie--
420
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:16,667
closed captioned by
captions, inc., los angeles
421
00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:34,267
captions copyrighted
by alien productions
all rights reserved
27922
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