Original subtitles

Hey. So we saw a new billboard.

Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?

What better way to announce our new slightly lower prices

than with an ad campaign?

And what better face for an ad campaign than our new regional manager?

How'd it look? You've seen it, right?

No. Andy, somebody defaced it.

What? How?

Morning, Stanley

There's this thing that people tend to do with billboards

How do I put this?

If there's an opportunity for a graffiti artist to work in a phallic shape

interacting with the artwork, it'll happen.

And Andy gave them that opportunity.

Erin, how long did we order those billboards for?

Six months Oh, God.

I need you to call the billboard company

great billboard. Funny, edgy right up to the line without crossing it. Loved it.

Which one did you see? Washington Street

The one with like 20 dongs on it. Okay. Don't be gross

What's going on? Somebody defaced the billboards

we just put out in an inappropriate way

That's funny

Wait, from the photo shoot with you and me?

Yeah, Dwight

No. No

No, no, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, no, no. No

Schrute Farms is very easy to find.

It's right in the middle of the root vegetable district

If the soil starts to get acidic

you've probably gone too far.

Just give us the address we'll look it up online

It's simpler this way. It's really not

Now stated arrival time is 3:00 p.m.

I don't get the reason for this party. Yeah. What's the reason?

What's the reason, Andy? What's the reason?

It's just a garden party Sheesh!

You don't need a reason to throw a garden party

any more than you need a reason to throw a birthday party

It's a garden party You don't need a reason

A few other super simple reminders. No burping, no slurping

When eating, take small bites and chew thoroughly with your mouth closed

Yes, Darryl?

What happens when we're done chewing?

Do we spit it out on the floor or keep it in our mouths the rest of the time?

I get it. I'm being a little overbearing

But I promise to be under-bearing for a week

if you guys just all step it up.

Andy, we understand basic table manners We're not children.

Yeah. It's just a picnic

This is not a picnic, Phyllis It's a garden party.

There's a grill in the warehouse I could bring

Oh, ew Please don't. Not a barbecue

It's better than a barbecue It's dignified. Quieter. There are rules.

How is that better than a barbecue?

What's the dress code for this? I'm glad you asked

Connecticut casual

Any chance Connecticut casual is Pennsylvania business?

I.E., this is what I'm wearing to your party

guys, my family just threw a garden party to celebrate my brother's promotion.

It was a huge success

Check it out. There's a video online

Heartwarming impromptu father/son duet

Oh, yeah

Yeah. Oscar you showed me this

I've seen this. That's not you

Yeah. Who's the sausage?

It's my dad and my brother

I would have joined in but this melody

doesn't really support another harmony part, so

Check it out That's my brother's boss

Look how psyched he is He's having an awesome time

Ah

And did Robert California get an invite to your party?

Yeah, of course I mean, yeah I think he did

Why didn't you just say this was to impress Robert California?

I cannot believe that Andy is throwing a party like this just to impress the CEO.

Classic Gabe move

Hey, Andy, how about you don't steal my business strategies

and I won't dress like my life is just one long brunch

See you all there at 3:00 p.m Connecticut casual

Remember your manners and have a wonderful time

And please refer to the map Stay off of the web.

Thank you

So, we've typed in the address.

Now let's take a look at the street view

They don't warn you when the cameras are driving by Ah.

Why do you keep reading that garden party book?

I mean, how hard are finger sandwiches and tea?

There's so much more to it than that

I've been wanting Schrute Farms to break into

the high-end event hosting industry for some time,

and this party is a great opportunity

Plus, I've got a secret weapon

Only one copy in the world,

and some sucker on the Internet sold it to me for $2

I'm actually really disappointed in how poorly my book is doing.

I've only sold one copy

Is there anything you wish you'd done differently to avoid cankles?

Nope

I've already gone up another cup size.

The senator is grossed out

When do you start feeling it kick?

Cece was around 22 weeks but Philip was much earlier

Philip?

Oh, my gosh. Yes But don't say anything, okay?

It's after my grandfather

Philip is the name that we're using.

It's after my favourite cat

Oh, wow

Funny. It's after my grandfather.

It's after my cat

Andrew, I picked up two possible gifts to bring this afternoon.

One, a pot of marmalade.

Ooh, that sounds great

That is what you want then? The marmalade?

Sure

You don't want to hearthe otherone. You love marmalade?

I'll hear the other one

It's a basil plant.

You know, the marmalade sounds great.

I also mentioned the marmalade to my sister, and she's very interested.

Then the basil will be fine

Well, you clearly want the marmalade.

Gretchen, I need another marmalade.

All right.

Hey, where do I park? I'm the valet.

You have to give me your car, I'm parking. I can probably park it myself

I'm the valet. You have to give me your car.

It's probably okay that I park...

No. I think it's probably better that I

I'm the valet. You have to give me

It's a finicky car Get out of your car. Get out.

Have a good time at the thing.

It's a little tricky. You might want to

Mr. Ryan Howard

"Chapter Two. Announcing guests as they enter

"is the height of decorum

"The more volume displayed the more honour is bestowed upon everyone present."

Stanley Hudson and his mistress Cynthia

James, Pamela and Peepee Halpert

How's it going over here, guys? Andy, stop hovering

You're being really annoying

Didn't mean to bother you, Mable

"Mable, Mable if you're able,

"keep your elbows off the table." Wow

Mr. and Mrs. Walter and Ellen Bernard

So you all work with Andy?

Well, technically, for Andy

Technically for Robert California He's our CEO.

I thought you were the CEO

I don't know how you got there

You said you were running the company

This branch I'm the regional manager

Yes. Well, that makes more sense.

Are you a regional managers?

Did I throw this party to impress my parents? That's crazy

No, if they wanted a garden party, they could throw one themselves.

Which, as a matter of fact, they did last week.

They threw one for my baby brother, and it was totally amazing.

But I couldn't care less.

Can I introduce you around now?

Yeah, we don't have too long We have theatre tickets.

What are you going to see?

Moneyball.

It was Walter Jr.'s choice

MRS. BERNARD There he is. What?

Bro-nard

I didn't know you were going to be here

I wouldn't have missed it

Okay

Ahh

I'm Walter. I'm Andy's younger brother

Hey, how you doing? I'm Jim.

Tuna, right? And this must be your lovely wife, Pam

No Hell no

She wishes. No, no, no no, no. No

Sir, I need to be able to feed all the guests I understand

Excuse me

Set that down

Present yourself

"Chapter Four One of the host's most important duties

"is as dance master.

"A proper courtly dance sets the tone for the entire afternoon."

Ladies and gentlemen may I present

Robert California

Hello, Andy Welcome

Thank you Hey, I want you to meet

my first bosses Mom and Dad

Yes. Hello. Nice to meet you Pleasure.

Andy, where shall I put your basil plant?

I thought you were going to bring the marmalade?

No. I'm certain you said basil.

This is not funny, man Let me down.

I think this thing is broken. It's not broken, Kevin This is how it works.

It's so pretty today

It's getting chilly

Yeah. We really should be leaving

Yeah. Um

It'll be weird if the boss-man didn't make a toast, so hang on.

Everybody, I just want to take this opportunity to thank you all for coming

and to raise a glass to my amazing staff

Toasts are great. I mean, you toast somebody

they toast you back It just goes round and round

That's my favourite part about toasts, the reciprocity

Let's hear from you guys. Who do you want to toast?

Yeah, I'll say something

I think we should be acknowledging our boss

because none of us would be here without him

Robert California

To Robert - Yay, Robert

I cannot believe I didn't think of toasting Robert. Get in the game, Gabriel

Why are you talking to Stanley's mistress?

I would like to toast someone who isn't here

but who will be in just four short months

Welcome to the world Philip Lipton.

Aww

I also would like to toast Philip Halpert

who's due even sooner

May he be a good namesake to my grandfather

who I promised as a child long before tonight,

that I would one day name my son after him

To Philip Halpert. To Philip

All right

She just always has to copy anything I do

It's the Ford Taurus situation all over again

I'd like to make a toast to the troops

Here, here Yes

All the troops Both sides

I think we should toast

Ladies and gentlemen the Last Supper.

"Chapter Nine The tableau vivant is not only welcome

"but expected entertainment at any garden party."

Andy?

I think that we should acknowledge the man

who has led us to such a profitable quarter.

To Robert California Yeah

I would also like to toast Robert California Mr. California...

You can't triple toast somebody

At least not until we hit everyone once

I'll say a few words if that's all right with you, Andy

Yeah

You people say I led you but it wasn't me

You want to toast the man who led you to success,

but the boss is irrelevant

Andy and I produce nothing We do nothing

We sit in our offices and demand,

"I want this and that right now" like petulant children

You know the difference between a crying baby and a manager?

One day the baby will grow up.

But without you, Andy and I would be sitting in our dirty diapers

waiting for someone to change us, wipe us

I should be toasting you thanking you,

for allowing me to have the easiest job in the universe.

Cheers - Cheers

To Robert California

From the moment you entered our building and our hearts, you...

Some of you know that we have an Internet star in our midst.

Mr. Walter Banes Bernard, Sir please report to the stage.

I'm eating, Andy

Come on

Okay. All right

Okay

Yes Yeah, what do you want to do?

Well, how about one of our classic father/son duets?

Oh, whoa.

You sure?

Really? It's a little tricky

Saying I love you Is not the words

It's too high. It's high but it's not that high. Really?

Right. It feels strained Yeah. Just take it down.

Saying I love...

Saying I love you

Here. Just give it to me. Yeah Yeah

Okay

Something like

Saying I love you is not the word...

You don't come in yet

...I want to hear from you

It's not that I want you

Not to say but if you only knew

More than words

Is all you have to do to make it real

Is anyone filming this? Seriously. Erin!

It's either taping or calling.

What would you do

If my heart was torn in two

You know what? Walter Jr. is here

Why don't you come up and join us? - Yeah, no

No, come up and do something with me. I don't know, Pop

I'm just having a good time getting to know Andy's friends here

Get up there and sing

or I will cut your larynx and you'll never be able to sing again

Whoo! Come on

Come on Give them what they want

All right. This old thing I don't even

May the good Lord be with you Down every road you roam

And may sunshine and happiness Surround you when you're far from home

And may you grow to be proud Dignified and true

And do unto others As you'd have done to you

Cheers! All right

What's going on? Cheers, cheers. Get your own guitar

Sorry. Please hang up and try again.

I am so cold It's because you didn't bring a jacket

My first love is beet farming, but it's a young man's game

Whoever heard of an old beet farmer? Forget the beets.

Concentrate on the hosting

I can spend a considerable amount of money having my birthday party here

Really? We have a number of birthday packages

The Pewter package has the least amount of goats.

It's not no goats it's still 10 to 12 goats

depending on the availability of the goats

Now the goat package, obviously, has the most goats What were you thinking?

Of course I am not interested in goats

Why would you spend so much time going over the goats with me?

I can get you exotic meats

Hippo steaks. Giraffe burgers

We'll talk

It'll all be goat

Hello, Cece Halpert This is Andrew Bernard

I'd very much like to speak with you about your paper supply needs

That wasn't even my worst sales call

Hi

What was that display?

I don't know. I just thought

if I could throw this great garden party

and show you how respected I am that you'd be proud of me

Andrew I know

I know that you're proud of me.

I'm not going to tell you how impressed I am

that you're a manager of some rinky-dink branch

of a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania

How long are you going to go on needing my approval?

You're a grown man. Don't act like a little boy who needs...

I think if I had parents like that,

I'd be trying to convince everyone all the time how great I was, too

Guess we found Andy's Rosebud Rosebud?

It's a reference to Citizen Kane.

Something that explains why a person became the way they are.

I know Citizen Kane. Rosebud didn't explain why he was how he was

It just represented what was important to him as a child, that he missed.

Different school of thought. Let's just agree to disagree

No. You're wrong

Are you sure? Yeah. I'm too hot anyway

My body has somehow become acclimated to southern Italy

Isn't that strange? I've never been there

Oh! Ah. Well

Yes, that's nice

Thank you

It was a nice party. The setting was a little strange. The food

Sandwiches were dry

Bye, Tuna Bye, Pam

Hey, everybody I'm going to leave

and I just wanted to say I'm really sorry

Cheeseburger or hamburger?

Um

Cheeseburger

Nard-Dog

Thanks, Oscar

What are they doing?

Closing ceremonies

Nice touch

I think I left my wallet in your house. Who cares?

Right here Mr. James Halpert

Keys. My keys

Stop forgetting things. I didn't forget them They're right here.

Mr. James Halpert

I'm so sorry. I think I forgot the

What You idiot

Ooh Mis...

Mi.

What are you doing? Hey, I have a question

Who do you think is really the best salesman in this office?

Stupid question, obviously Mr. James Halpert!