All language subtitles for The.Office.US.S07E10.China.720p.BrRip.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA

Why?

Twenty minutes a day, Jim.
That's all it takes.

Twenty minutes a day,
all feet, no hands,

and I'll have
the pedidexterity of a chimp,

and you'll be sitting
there like an idiot.

Okay, here we go. Yes.

Do you mind?
I'm sorry, Pam.

Allow me to write
you an apology letter.

You don't have to do that.

D...

E...

A...

Oh...

Thank you, hands.

Nothing else in the universe
can do what you do.

Don't worry about it.
Dwight, it's okay.
You were wrong.

It's so hot.

Well, "A" for effort, right?

Welcome.
Start your morning right

with a burst of
blueberry or try plain.

What's the occasion?

Dwight said this entry
was a waste of space.

I would like
un muffin du blueberry,
por favor.

$8.

$8?

Owning a building is a war
between
the landlord and the tenant.

Not a literal war,
unfortunately,

but I am using
the same tactics.

I've surrounded the enemy,
and I'm slowly starving them.

To save on electricity,
I have installed a timer

and motion
sensors on the lights.

It's part of my
green initiative.
And by green, I mean money.

Mmm-hmm.

China. China.

Michael, how was the dentist?

It was great.

China.

Are you okay?
What's wrong?

Everything here was
made in China, Pam.

Yeah, that's where
they make stuff.

They used to make
stuff in America, Andy,
but we're falling behind.

Did you know that?

China is a sleeping dragon
that is just
beginning to stir.

Oh, no.
Yeah.

Right here.
It is right there.

Anybody read the news anymore?

"China is on the move."

I found that in
the waiting room
at the dentist's office.

This kid had
the magazine I wanted to read.

That's the only
one I could reach,

and I read it and
then I read it again.

My whole life I believed
that America was number one.

That was the saying.

Not America's number two.
England is number two.

China should be, like, eight.

Hey, Andy.

Hey, Darryl.

You gotta stop
texting me so much.

But I wanted you to know that
Michael and I are
wearing the same tie today.

It's insane.

You need to
change your standard
for what's worthy of a text.

Ask yourself,
"Is this something
Darryl needs to know?"

The answer's
almost always "no."

Got it.
Then, I will call you.

No.

There was a time
when the only
people who texted you

were people you
wanted to text you. Girls.

And they'd all
say the same thing.
"I'm coming over, baby."

And I would text back. B-T-B.
"Bring that Booty."

Dwight.
Why is the toilet
paper only half a ply?

I'm sorry.
Is that not good
enough for your anus?

Don't get me started on
how coddled
the modern anus is.

Okay, Stanley,

maybe you can just
unspool a little more
each time you need to...

Don't tell me how
to do my business.

Stanley, as a fellow
Dunder Mifflin employee,
I feel for you,

but, like you,
I am completely powerless

to the whims of
the new building owner.

Which is you.

"Which is you"
is not a sentence.

I disagree with.

Are you gonna just sit there,
office administrator,

or are you gonna do something?

Dwight, can we talk
about these cut backs?

Pam, when I'm
sitting at this desk,
I'm a salesman.

If you wanna talk to
the new building owner,

you should call Nate
and schedule an appointment.

I'm not gonna do that.

Well, then you're
not going to talk
to the new building owner,

which is a shame,

because I hear he's
a very reasonable guy.

Y'ello?
Hi, Nate. It's Pam Halpert.

Oh, hey, Pam.

Hey,
I would just love to schedule
a meeting today with Dwight.

Let me put you on hold
just for one eensy second.

Sure.

Dwight Schrute.

Mmm-hmm.

Tell her I'm busy.

I don't know.
Make something up.

NATE: Hey, Pam,
Dwight's being
questioned by the police

in connection with
a string of dognappings
that have been...

Dwight.

Dwight, can you please tell
the new building owner

that he is screwing over
all the people he works with.

People he's
worked with for years,
his friends.

You know what, Pam?
You're right.

This isn't just a business,

this is a home.

And I would much rather see
a smile from Kevin

than save hundreds
on plumbing and electricity.

ERIN: Oh, my God.

What?

According to the Internet,
the tallest man in
the world is Chinese.

So much for keeping
our secrets up high.

What's America gonna do?

I know what we're gonna do.
We're gonna put
our best minds on it.

Everybody, stop working.

I want you all
to imagine a world

in which America is not
the number one superpower,

where forks are irrelevant,

and where every man,
woman and child

is expected to learn
how to play the cello.

Now, open your eyes.

You never told
us to close them.

Welcome to your future.

What do we do?
How do we stop this?

How do we stop it?
With a big idea.

That's what
America is built on.

Big ideas,
blue jeans, the Grand Canyon.

Who's got one?
Who's got a big idea?

An idea bigger
than the Grand Canyon?

MICHAEL: Yes, indeed.

Yes, Kevin.

An antacid that you
only take once a week.

Once-a-week antacid
is the idea to beat.
Anyone else?

Nobody?

Okay, then, we are...

Michael.
Yes.

An antacid pill
that you take
once every six weeks.

Why not just go
one for the year?

I don't know.

It's too big
a pill to swallow.
MICHAEL: All right.

What if we all get together
and help each other,

and hire a new guy
and then we all kill him,

but first we take out, like,
a $100,000 life
insurance policy?

I bet you guys like
that idea, don't you?

I think that's what
they're doing to me.

I can't prove it,
but I wanted to see
their faces when I said it.

I learned nothing.

I don't know
what the that was.

I say we bomb 'em.

By 2020, they're gonna be
the world's largest economy,

and they're getting
a taste for protein.
We'll all starve.

Yeah, Dwight's right,
we should drop the bomb.

MICHAEL: No, he's not right.
We're not...

Where would we
even drop it, Phyllis?

Did you know that in China
there are 56 cities
with over a million people?

You know how many
we have here? Nine.

I know the figure
you're referring to,

and it's a projection
of 15 years from now.

KEVIN: Thank God.

No. No,
that is right now.

Michael, China's agrarian.
Urbanizing fast?
You betcha.

But still agrarian.

Most in terms of land,
not population.

Come on,
Michael, you couldn't...

No! No, you're
wrong about this.

Where are you
getting this information?

I got it from
newyorktimes.com.

Uh-oh.

Getting nervous, Oscar?

Okay, someone
look it up.

I'm on it, Jim. I'm on it.

Guys, it's not worth it.
Really.

"Are you watching this?"
Seriously?

Well, are you?

I'm sitting right here.

DARRYL: Got it.

China has 56 cities
with a population
of over one million.

The U.S. has nine.

Suck it, Oscar.

Well, on the plus side,
all this worrying about China

has made you smarter
than Oscar, Michael.

Great, I was wrong.

I'm wrong.
Is everyone happy?

So, I happen to know more
than the smartest
guy in the office.

So what?
I don't care.

Okay, now, where were we
before I bested Oscar?

Wow, so this
building can get uglier.

I will not work in
a roach billboard.

Oh, my God.
I can't look at roaches.

Michael,
do something about this.

Absolutely.
Pam, this is exactly why

I hired you as
office administrator.

Handle it.

Taking care
of business.

Dwight, take it down.

I'm serious.
Take it down or else.

Or else. Or else what?
There's nothing you can do.

We can move out.

Ugh.

Really?

So, does anyone wanna know
where I've been for
the last two hours?

Oh, my God, I've been playing
Zombie Soccer for two hours?

I went out to look for
a better office space.

Waste of time.
Not really,

because I found one.

JIM: Oh, wow.

These are nice.
Yep.

Let me see.

Look at the huge offices, Jim.
Yeah, I know.

Check out that
conference room.
Totally.

You can't just move out.

Oh, in three months we can.

Check the lease.

And if you don't
undo all the changes
you've made, we're moving.

Hey, guys,
can I show you some pictures?

Oh, my gosh, she's so cute.
She looks like both of you.

They're not of Cece.
Oh, cool.

This is possibly our new
Dunder Mifflin office.

Well, I like being
in the same building as Bob.

It keeps me honest.

Well, this building isn't far,
and it's much newer.

There's a dry cleaner,
a nail place and a gym.

Oh, and it's next
door to an Outback,

so it always
smells like steak.

Are you trying to kill me?

Is the nail place
Koreans or whites?

Koreans.

Good. And the dry cleaners?

White?

Good.

Whoa,
there's a lot of brain power
in this room.

We got Michael and Oscar,
the two smartest
guys in the office.

Also, in that order.

Funny. Jim, that is funny.

Very comedically
humorous, Jim.

KELLY:
I have a computer question.

Hey, Oscar?
What is it?

Can you move aside
so that I can ask Michael?

All right.
All right, I get it.

Michael,
how do I create a new tab?

Try control "P."

That's print.

Not if the printer
isn't hooked up.

You are making some very
dangerous assumptions, Oscar.

Oscar, it must be killing you
now that Michael
is smarter than you.

He's not smarter than me.
He was just right
about one thing.

Yeah, but it was
a really smart thing
to be right about, actually.

Actually, it was.

Around here,
Oscar is known as "Actually,"

because he will insert himself
into just about
any conversation

to add facts or
correct grammar.

Actually, you're speculating.

He really does fit
that old stereotype
of the smug, gay Mexican.

"Megan Fox. Question mark."
What's that mean?

Megan Fox. Come on.

You know what?

You're one bad text away
from getting blocked.

Yes, but one good text
away from a high five.

You accept these terms?

Oh, it's on.

In your perfect world,
what would make
this building awesome?

I'm putting together
kind of a wish list.

I wish for a million wishes.

Yeah,

no, I'm not a genie.
I'm just talking about...

Then see you later,
building.

DWIGHT: You can't
possibly be serious.

I said,
"See you later, building."

Hey, Michael.
Hey.

I was thinking
about some of the stuff
you said earlier about China.

Mmm.

I'd love to
talk more about it.
Yeah.

Maybe over
some coffee later?

Sure.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Do you know what
you just agreed to?

Just coffee, Jim.

No, it is not just coffee.

He's trying to
set you up, Michael.

What's gonna happen is

he's gonna try to
bring up whatever

you're talking about
in a very casual way.

But secretly he'll be
trying to trip you up.

And when he does,
boom, it's awful.

Haven't you noticed that

I don't bring up
the Tour de France
around him?

Yes.

And then,
he will smugly pay the check
and make you feel so small.

All right, well,
I just need to learn
everything about China.

To be safe, I should learn
everything about everything,

but I don't have time,
okay? Okay.

I'll just learn about China

and science and geography
and math and literary.

No politics?

I'm pretty good on politics.

And California, California.

What?

Parlay.
My office. Five minutes.

Parlay?

Pirate code. He wants to meet.

So, everyone here
knows pirate code?

I understand it.
I can't speak it.

Pam, I am not
an unreasonable man.

If you guys stay,
I will stop
watering down the soap.

You've been
watering down the soap?

Why do you even need soap?
Are you that bad at
going to the bathroom?

We want everything
back the way it was.

You don't wanna move.

Moving is one of
the most stressful things
you can do in life.

You'll probably just
take it out on your kid.

Jim will turn to the drink.
The family will fall apart.

And 25 years from now,

Cece will become world
famous for stripping.

That's a sad story.
I have another one.

We move,
the other tenants follow,

the bank takes the building,

takes your farm,
takes your car and
beats the crap out of you.

Penniless, you die.

And my daughter, Cece,
dances on your
grave fully clothed.

RYAN: Where is Tibet?

Pass.

When was China founded?

Pass.
Two for two. Keep it up.

Who is Mao?

Life line.

Damn it, Michael.

You are moments away
from the smack down
of your life.

If you don't know something,

steer the conversation back
to something you do know.

I could talk about boobs.
I bet he knows
nothing about boobs.

What do you know
about boobs?

Michael, I have
to tell you something.

It's from Rocky II.
Thank you.

"This guy
doesn't just wanna win,

"you know,
he wants to bury you.

"He wants to humiliate you."

Wait, wait, wait.
How long is this gonna take?

I'm, like,
a quarter of the way through.

Is it gonna be worth it?

No.

Just in case, Michael,
I made you a cheat sheet.

I don't need to cheat.

Show him how to use it.

10,706...

Here it is, right here.

Pull over. Pull over.

Oh, my God.

No way.

Man, look at that.

Yeah.

There's no building.

This can only mean one thing.

Building's underground.

She was lying.

Oh.

Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam.

Pam, Pam, Pam.

Yeah?

Pam?

What?
I'm Pam.

DWIGHT: Oh.
No, you're not.

I'm sorry, we have a colleague
with the same name.

Oh, that's funny.

You're not
a liar too, are you?

I've been known
to bend the truth.

Damn it, Pam. Get out.

Right now.
Leave it. I mean it.
Get the hell out of here.

Go!

I can't wait to do to Pam
what I just did to Pam.

Hey, Pam?

Yeah.

You know,
I'm the only one here

that you haven't asked
about the new office.

I know,
because you're
the reason we're moving.

Yeah, but I'm
still an employee here,

and that part of
me is really excited
about the change of scenery.

What's the square
footage in the new place?

I think it's
something like...

What's the exact
square footage?

Um...

Let me see.

DWIGHT: How many
offices are there?

I'll just look at
the one-sheet myself.

Actually, I don't know
what I did with the one-sheet.

You know, that's the problem.
You only have one sheet.

�DWIGHT LAUGHING
SARCASTICALLY�

Oh, you're
a funny guy, Pam.

What's the first thing
you guys are gonna do

when you move
into the new office?

I'm gonna walk down the hall,
and I'm gonna say,

"Wow, I can't believe
this is real, but it is."

I can't wait.
Mmm-hmm.

I lied about some
aspects of the building.

It's still on a bike path,
though, right?

There's no building.
It doesn't exist.

What does that mean?

I needed leverage,
so I pulled those
pictures off the Internet.

It's just this...

This office
administrator thing,
I don't want to...

What?

Fail.
I don't want
to fail. Again.

You didn't fail.

That's what you
said about art school,

and that's what
you said about sales.

And you didn't fail
those things either.

Well, I'm not an artist,
and I'm not a salesman.

So, what would you call it?

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Michael, the reason
I asked you down
here for this chat is

I've been
thinking that your fears

about China are
a bit exaggerated.

Did you know that
China has a new missile

that can sink a U.S.
naval carrier
900 miles off the coast?

We have missiles, too.

Did you also know
that China has secretly

been expanding
its nuclear arsenal?

But what do I know?

I mean, that's just
according to the Pentagon.

Our Pentagon.

I wasn't here.

What?

I wasn't here.
It's a pretty common saying.

You may want to log
it away for future use.

Well, thanks.
Yeah.

China has been loaning us
billions upon
billions of dollars.

We are going to be owing them
for the rest of our lives,

and they will control us.

Actually, we're in
a mild recession right now,
I'll give you that,

but people use
China as the boogeyman
for all their problems.

In the 1980s, it was Japan.

How then do you
explain that in the past year

manufacturing in
China has risen by 17%,

and in the U.S.
it has only risen by 8%?

Do you really think
that manufacturing
is a relevant indicator

of where the world
economy's heading
in 2011?

Do you know
the comparative expansion

of, say, the
information sector?

I'd say that's
far more relevant,
wouldn't you?

Don't...

I...

Hello. Hello.

You're breaking the law.
Impossible. I love the law.

Read article 19.

There are certain standards
that you have to
maintain the building at,

and that includes
comfortable temperatures
and adequate lighting.

It also means no more cutting
the tampons in two,

and no more tampering
with the toilet paper.

I see I've underestimated you,
and I didn't think
that was possible.

Nate.

Re-ply the paper.

I don't think
it goes that way.

Re-ply it!

Don't worry about the coffee.
It's on me.

Yeah, I figured that.

Michael, I am so happy
that we were able to
have this little chat.

Wait.

You forgetting something?

What?
This chat.

Two men.
One white. One Latino.

A boss and a money cruncher.
I could fire you.

Fire him. No.
Show mercy.

But here we are.

What's your point?

My point is

that as long as
people like you and me
don't stop talking,

nobody can stop the U.S.A.

Yeah, go, girl.
Right. Yes.

I am talking about freedom,
about choice.

America...

I don't think
you need to worry,

because if you want to
beat China, you will.

If you don't, that's fine.

That, my friend,
is your victory.

You know,
a lot of people say that

if you dig long
enough and hard enough,

you will get to China,
and that may be true,

but what they
don't tell you is that

if you dig long
enough and hard enough
in a conversation,

you get to a friend.

So, here is to conversation.

That's not...

Raise your cups
on high.

Case closed.
Yeah!

That wasn't what we were...
That wasn't the whole...

They say the best vampires
don't bleed their victims dry,

but give them the strength
so that they can bounce back,

only to be fed on again.

I spared Pam,
and I might feast

off of her profits
for years to come.

I let Pam win.

I was not
motivated by compassion.

I have no compassion.

Make sure you got that.
"Not motivated by compassion."

"Come to parking lot.
Crazy pigeon action."

Shh.

You're gonna scare them away.

That's a text.
Yeah, right?

That's your new standard.