All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation (2009) - S04E07 - The Treaty (1080p BluRay x265 Silence)

Oh, hey, Ben.

Have you seen my complete collection
of all 193 National Flags?

Oh, here they are.

Wow!

So, I've been asked to run
this year's Model U.N.

at Pawnee Central High School.

Attendance has been low,

and if I don't make it
awesome, they may cancel it.

I wonder if
I'm going to make it awesome.

Or I could be South Korea,
you could be Bangladesh.

We could form, like,
a trans-Asiatic alliance.

Yeah, I like it.
And I see the merits of it.

I just worry if we're both in
Asia, it might limit our scope.

I kind of want to
roll up my sleeves

and make geo-political
problem solving my bitch.

Amen, brother. Let's go back to
Plan I'll be Denmark, you be Peru.

Yes.

You know, I didn't really do Model
United Nations in high school. So...

Oh, wait. I super did.

I need a few more volunteers.
Andy, will you be Iceland?

The bad guys from Mighty Ducks Two?
Don't think so.

Okay. How about Japan?

The bad guys from
Karate Kid Two? Even worse.

How about Germany? They've
never been the bad guys.

Why don't you be Finland?
Okay.

Okay?
And I'll be the Moon.

No. You're gonna be
South Africa or Pakistan.

I'm the Moon or I quit.
April.

Moon or quit, man.

Fine. You be South Africa, and then
you can also secretly run the Moon.

The Moon accepts your
ridiculous proposal.

Ron, you want to join us?
Look. I'll let you be America.

And teach kids that not
only is government good,

but that there should be
a worldwide super government?

I'd rather sand down
my toenails.

Every three weeks, I have
to sand down my toenails.

They're too strong
for clippers.

Excuse me.
Are you Leslie Knope?

What am I talking about?
Of course you are.

Thank you so much for coming and
trying to help save our club.

We're so excited to see a true Pawnee Model U.N.
legend in action.

Thank you. I really wouldn't describe
myself as a Model U.N. legend.

I'd go with
"icon." Or "hero."

Look, if you ask me,
Enron is down, but not out.

Who doesn't like
a comeback story?

All right. If you want to hear
my plan, get at me later.

I've got to meet up
with an old friend.

All right. Peace, man.

Let's go do this
lunch thing.

I just have one more
quick interview.

I'm still trying to
find your replacement.

That is unless you want
your old job back?

I told you before,
Ronseph.

I've moved on
to bigger things.

E 720 going under
was a blessing.

I'm tearing it up
all over town like a boss.

Sounds great, Tommy.

I've offered Tom his job
back several times.

And each time,
he's told me

he's just too busy
being an entrepreneur.

Then, two days ago, I saw him
spraying cologne samples at Macy's.

The young man
has a lot of pride.

This isn't gonna be easy.

Ann Perkins. Hey, Chris.
How's it going?

Not good. Can I talk to you?
Okay.

I'm not sure if you're aware,
but I am romantically involved

with Jerry Gergich's surprisingly
hot daughter, Millicent Gergich.

Yeah, you were grinding with her pretty
hard at April's Halloween party.

That's correct. Anyway,
we've been on four dates.

But now, Millicent Gergich hasn't
returned my last two phone calls.

I think our relationship may be
in trouble, and I don't know why.

Wow. A four-date-long relationship
might not be 100% perfect?

I think you should launch
a full-scale investigation.

The root of sarcasm
is truth, Ann.

I am going to launch
a full-scale investigation.

And I sincerely thank you
for that suggestion.

Glad I could help
in these trying times.

Sarcasm again.
You're a delight.

You have all been
preparing for months

for this year's
geo-political scenario,

Global Food Crisis.

Security Council,
we need you to lead us

or billions of people
will starve to death.

But most importantly,
have fun.

Due to my campaign, the romantic
aspect of our relationship is over.

And I am totally
fine with that.

But Ben and I have
so much in common.

I mean,
we're amazing friends.

And friendship is better,
because friends help you move.

They drive you to the airport.

Boyfriends just
love you and marry you.

Jerry, I am launching
a full-scale investigation

into my romantic relationship with
your daughter, Millicent Gergich,

and I thought
I could pick your brain.

Geez. I really shouldn't be
involved in something...

Quick recap.

Things were
going wonderfully.

We clicked on
an emotional level.

And then, suddenly, I just
stopped hearing from her.

Now, you must know her
pretty well. What gives?

Here's what I saw go down.

Donna. Yeah.
Get in on this.

You're too accessible. Every
time she calls, you answer.

You've got to
dangle the carrot.

Literally and metaphorically.

Thank you, Donna.
Thanks, Donna.

So, Courtney.

This says
you retired in 1968.

No, no, no.
I was fired because

I made a pass
at an ethnic woman.

And what have you been doing
for the last 43 years?

You know, hitchhiking
around I went to Mexico.

I met a lot of ethnic girls.

They grow on trees down there.

I was in jail for a spell. That
about brings it up to date.

Sounds to me like you're ready to
get back in the game, Courtney.

We'll be in touch.

Another very strong candidate.

Are you insane? He was
a million-year-old racist.

He said he liked
ethnic girls, Tom.

I'm sorry, Ron,
but I created a legacy here,

and I need to make sure
it's protected.

Let's bring in
some more people.

In my four years here, I revolutionized
the position of Administrator

and made this place cool.

I was the first person
to abbreviate

Parks and Recreation
Department.

First, it was
Parks and Recreation.

Then, Parks and Rec.
Then, P and R.

Then, I lengthened it just a
little bit to Tommy's Place.

Okay, wait a minute.
I think I have it.

What if we dropped interest rates?
Would that help you?

Maybe. But what if
Brazil and Argentina

use their oil deposits
as collateral?

Whoa. That's really good.

Under-exaggerate much, France?

Nice.

Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom,
zoom, zoom.

Hey, Leslie, you ready?
Ow!

Sorry.
That's okay.

Hi, William.
Hi. You ready?

Yes. Absolutely. Um, they
want me to do a photo op

for the campaign, so I can bolster
my education credentials.

Can we just
press pause here?

Well, how long
is it gonna take?

I'm not really sure. Can you just
tread water until I'm ready?

Oh, sure. Yeah, I'll just tread
water till you're ready.

Thanks, buddy.

Leslie and I
aren't dating anymore.

But we're friends.
So it's fun.

It's just fun.
It's fun. It's fun...

It is fun.

Thanks a lot.

Yes! Honey.

I just traded Finland's
military to Kenya for 50 lions.

That's pretty good, right?

Yeah.
Okay.

But also, militaries are pretty
good at protecting countries.

But so are lions. And you
don't have to pay them.

These kids are idiots.

I've just traded all of
Finland's boring stuff

for every other
country's lions.

I definitely have more lions

than any other country
in the whole world right now.

I have no idea
what's going on.

But if that ends up meaning
something in this game,

I'd say I'm set.

Hey. So, Russia and China are
about to propose their own plans.

So, the kids kind of
want to get ours out there.

Um, okay. This should probably
take, like, five more minutes.

Let's say
10 or 15 to be safe.

Well, how about we
make it a cool 40?

I'm sorry.
It's just important.

Well, this is
important, too.

I mean, it's kind of
why we came here.

Sorry. Could you just step over here?
You're in the shot.

Oh, of course.

Her life is so awesome.

You're lucky you're friends with her.
Shut up, Bulgaria.

I know. Well, that's the
great thing about treaties.

It doesn't even matter...
Hey! I'm back.

Or as they say in Denmark, "I'm
back." Most people speak English.

So, are you guys ready
to polish off this treaty?

Oh, um...

Actually, I merged our treaty
with Russia and China's treaty.

I got cut out of my own treaty?
Yeah.

I got sick of
treading water,

so I swam over
to Asia and made a deal.

The nation of Denmark would like
to formally request a summit

with the nation of Peru over
there by the refreshment table.

Because the nation of
Denmark needs a juice box.

I am shocked and
appalled by the actions

of the honorable
delegate from Peru.

Leslie, just...

Look. I thought I could handle
being friends with you.

But I can't. Okay?

Now, we agreed
the other night

that we can't spend
time together.

I think that was
the right call.

But that was
in a romantic way.

We can still spend
time together as friends.

It doesn't work that way.

You can't just
chop up the aspects

of a relationship
into discrete parts

and select the ones
you want like a buffet.

Why not?

Because it's selfish.

Stop being obtuse.

Look, I understand
where he's coming from.

But I have been nothing
but straightforward with him.

And if anyone in the entire
world should understand

the difficult
position I'm in.

It's just,
I have made an effort,

and I've shared
my flags with him.

And, suddenly, he doesn't
want to be friends?

Well, you know what? That
leaves me with only one option.

Just excuse me for...

Attention! This is
an urgent world matter.

Due to a recent betrayal,

my homeland,
the great state of Denmark,

has officially decided
to declare war on Peru.

Scandinavian brothers.
On my signal.

Unleash hell!

See, I just don't
believe in this whole

"don't let people know
how you feel" nonsense.

I love telling people
how I feel.

Mostly because
I love most people,

and I love telling them
I love them.

You didn't tell that girl,
you love her, did you?

No. I'm not crazy.

What is this urgent meeting
with Donna and Jerry?

Ann Perkins.
I took your advice.

My sarcastic advice?
Precisely.

And we're getting
to the bottom of

what's going on with me
and Jerry's daughter.

And I thought you would be a tremendous
addition to this think tank.

This is incredibly
inappropriate.

Thank you.
Okay, I'm game.

No, I'm not kidding.

My name's Gary and
I'm from Gary, Indiana.

Amazing.

People like hearing that. It's
probably one of my stronger anecdotes.

A fact is not
an anecdote, Gary.

Here's an anecdote.

Today, I met the most boring man in the world.
His name was Gary.

Hmm.

Now, Keith,
under "sex", you wrote,

"Yes. Ha, ha.
Ha, ha. Ha, ha."

Well played.
Thank you.

But all jokes aside,
I'm a boy.

Keith, I had this job
for four years.

And I can tell you, you get out
of it what you put into it.

What are you hoping
to get out of it?

In, like, a month or so.

What?

Oh "What." What am I hoping
to get out of this job?

Yeah.

Yeah.
Like, one month of money.

Would be just right.

Let me give you
a situation.

You're hosting a town hall
meeting for local businesses.

That's so much stuff. You just went...
Kept on going.

That was, like, one thing. I didn't
even get to the situation yet.

Oh!

All right.

Well, thanks, guys.
I think we've all seen enough.

Still not totally sure
what I'm applying for,

but if you ask me,
I think it went pretty well.

What we need to focus on
is how to destroy Peru.

Specifically,
one person who lives there.

Madam Ambassador, are you
changing the scenario?

We didn't prepare for this.

Global politics can change
and scenarios can arise.

And suddenly,
you're just like,

"Wait, l thought
this one thing.

"But look over there,
that's a different thing.

"And it's changing everything."
And I'm like, "What?

"Hold up..."

Who has tanks for me?

I'm sorry, but we're gonna keep
trying to solve the food crisis.

Food, shmood. This is war. God, it's
time for you to nut up, Switzerland.

Well, well, well. Look who is brave
enough to show his face in Europe.

Say the word, Leslie I'll sic
my army of lions on him.

Okay, look. I think things
are starting to get

a little
out of control here.

I agree. You betrayed me
and you went behind my back.

And now, you need to pay.

I need to pay?

Do I stutter?
Okay. Fair enough.

Oh. You know what?
You might want to borrow this.

No one wants your dirty underwear, Ben.
It's not dirty underwear.

It's a white flag,
and you may as well

start waving it
right now, Leslie.

The only thing
I will be waving

is your decapitated
head on a stick

in front of your
weeping mother.

Good Lord.

They were duds, Ron.

Really, anything
would be better

than the people
we interviewed today.

I guess
you're right, Tom.

I'm not going to
find another you.

You were perfect.

Competent enough to keep
the bosses off my back,

but selfish enough
to slow down all the work.

Tom Haverfords
don't grow on trees.

If they did,
I'd sell them. Tommy Trees.

Would you
consider coming back?

Sorry, Ron. No can do.

I'm like a shark.
I don't swim backwards.

See you later, man.

We have been
making great strides

with genetically
modified crops,

and would gladly pledge
to continue the growth of...

Excuse me, Madam Ambassador.
Excuse me.

I'm not finished.
Oh, really?

Then, why do I
have the microphone?

I move that the Security Council
formally condemn Denmark

and stop them
from making anymore

unwarranted
acts of aggression.

As long as you quit
derailing the conference.

People are dying
of hunger in Africa.

Oh, cry me a river.

All in favor of
the resolution.

- What?
- Oh.

That's interesting. The resolution
passes with flying colors.

Denmark is formally condemned.

Bam!

That's no problemo, Peru.

Because Denmark no longer
recognizes the authority

of this international
gang of thugs.

And history will be unkind to those
who stand opposed to justice.

Together we stand.
And I ask all of you,

who is ready to join
the coalition of the willing?

The Moon shall
join your coalition.

Yeah. We got
the freaking Moon.

What are you going to do
without tides, Peru?

Okay. We need to stop
dealing in hypotheticals.

Ann, we dated.
What happened to us?

Really?
Do you want to get real?

Sure. Sounds like fun.

Sometimes, your relentless
cheeriness is confusing.

Like that time
we went to Eagleton

and we got that hotel room
with the Jacuzzi.

This just got real good.
And the Jacuzzi broke.

But I did eat food
off of your body.

Oh, come on. DONNA: All
right, Chris and Ann.

I just want to
go back to work.

So, the coalition of the willing is
Denmark, Botswana, and the Moon.

The Big Three.

Now, here's what
we're gonna do.

Ben is probably shoring up his
support in South America.

While he does that,
we are going to make sure...

Attention!

The Security Council
has decided to expel

Peru and Denmark
from the United Nations.

'Cause you guys suck.
Look around.

We thought you were going to
teach us how to solve problems.

You've ruined my favorite club.
Thanks a lot.

Did we win?

I think we won.

What were we trying to do?
I learned so much today.

I just wanted to say

that I thought
it was really cool

how everything
fell apart in there.

And also, maybe you
should talk to Ben. No.

He's being a jerk.
Please?

When Ben gets upset, he becomes
a really bad roommate.

He takes really long sadness baths
and makes me late for stuff.

I hate it here.
I can't wait to graduate.

Yeah, but summer is
gonna totally kick ass.

So, you're saying
that I intimidated you?

No. Not exactly.

Come on. Talk more about that
tantric workshop y'all went to.

I was so into you, okay?

And you basically turned me into
a female version of yourself.

And then,
you got bored dating me,

'cause you were
dating yourself.

Huh.

I mean, I was jogging
I hate jogging.

Jogging's amazing.
Jogging is the worst, Chris.

I mean, I know it keeps you healthy.
But, God, at what cost?

Well, I'm sorry that I added
five years to your life.

Now I'm being sarcastic.

Like you. I'm doing
something that you like.

Being with you definitely made
me do a lot of soul-searching.

And I came out the other side being
a much more self-possessed person.

Well, I'm glad.
Good luck with Millicent.

Just back off a little bit. Let her be herself.
Everything will be fine.

Thank you.

If you re-arrange the letters of
Peru, you can spell "Europe."

That's not true.

Well, you have to
rearrange them.

Delegates! I know that you
are angry with each other.

Hopefully, this will be
your opportunity

to have your
very own Camp David.

In high school,
my buddy, David Fundis,

would have these
campouts in his backyard.

We would just chill out,
have a bonfire,

talk about whatever
was on our mind.

We called it Camp David.

How do you know
about Camp David?

- How do you know about Camp David?
- Okay.

You guys are
being stupid.

So why don't you work it
out while Andy and I...

Throw these scientist
bottles off the roof.

No. APRIL: That's right.
See you.

Go, go, go.

It's bad enough that
we can't be together,

but the thought
of us not being friends

is just too crappy
for me to handle.

I was perhaps a little
icier than I needed to be.

I just need you
to be in my life.

You're too important to me.

I wish I could
say it's possible.

I just, I don't know
if it is right now.

Well, I propose a treaty

that states that we have
a fun conversation once a day,

at work, for five minutes.

I'll take it to the Peruvian Senate.
Or whatever.

Please do that. I'll try.
I'll see what they say.

What do we do
with those kids?

We totally
ruined their club.

I can tell you what I would
like when I was their age.

Ben, how are we going
to get Kathy Ireland

to do naked
aerobics for them?

Okay. I regret
telling you that. Very much.

Hey.
Hey, Ron.

All right.
I've got to come clean.

I saw you spraying
cologne samples at Macy's.

What? Macy's?
That wasn't me.

There's a Macy's in town?
Where is the Macy's in town?

I heard they have an amazing
cologne sample guy.

Just take the job, Tommy
Come on back.

I quit
to pursue my dream.

And my dream collapsed.
It's embarrassing, Ron.

I can't go from
being a CEO

back to being
an administrator.

Is there anything I can do to make
you feel okay about coming back?

Everyone, please.

Help me.
I am trying to get Tom back.

I'm begging.

This department just
doesn't work without you.

What do you say?

Ron, this is embarrassing.
Even for you.

I'm not coming back.

Peace out, my dudes.

EXCUSE me, everyone.

That was great.
So, what I'm thinking is

I'll come back in a few days,

you'll beg me again...

So, if it's okay
with you guys,

I would like to
ask Ron for my job back.

Ron, may I have
my job back, please?

Thank you.

I will see you all Monday.

Looking forward to it.

Ah, France!

My name is Cassidy, and I'm
really annoyed with you.

Yes. And you have
every right to be,

but we're hoping
what we're going

to show you right now
will make up for that.

What?

The Pawnee city
council chambers.

The nicest room in City Hall by
a factor of, like, a million.

Go ahead. Sit down.

Leslie and I feel terrible for war
breaking out at your Model U.N.

Which, for the record,
Denmark would have won.

But that's neither here nor there.
All right.

Thanks to
a coordinated effort

between the Parks Department
and the City Manager's office,

three months from now,
we are going to hold

a statewide Model U.N.
in this room.

And you're gonna run the show.
What?

And we will just be...
Not here.

Or taking some small
countries No,no,no.

No. Fine. Not here.

- Sound good?
- Yes.

Those kids are
passionate about something.

That's important.

That's all there is,
really, is passion.

Passion is what
makes for good treaties,

good relationships,
good pizza,

good friends, good everything.

Including wars.

Ladies and gentlemen, he was
gone but never forgotten.

He makes all the ladies want...
No, I'm not gonna say that.

Swagger.
Beats. And I get the...

Who's... All right, forget it.

Welcome back, Tom Haverford!

Tick, took.
It's Tommy Time.

Okay, I'm sorry.
I have to object again.

This just seems unfair.

I understand that, Jerry, but the
problem is is that Tom came back.

And Andy's my assistant, so I
kind of need him close to me.

Okay. But see,
I can't even hear anything

because of
the noise from the copier.

I'm sorry.
These are really important.