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1
00:00:02,620 --> 00:00:05,546
Wow. Independence Rock.
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,010
Glorious, isn't she?
3
00:00:07,510 --> 00:00:09,326
Kinda looks like a turd to me.
4
00:00:09,350 --> 00:00:11,196
And not a solid turd, either.
5
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,536
Just a sad loosey.
6
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,428
It is not a sad loosey.
7
00:00:14,452 --> 00:00:16,586
Independence Rock marks the
halfway point of our journey.
8
00:00:16,610 --> 00:00:18,746
If we can make it there
by the 4th of July
9
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:21,376
it means we're on track to get
to Oregon before winter.
10
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,923
That's tomorrow. We'll never make that.
11
00:00:23,947 --> 00:00:25,596
We may not make it in one piece,
12
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:28,729
but I'll get us there in time.
13
00:00:28,753 --> 00:00:30,426
Strap in.
14
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,349
It's about to get bumpy.
15
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,276
Hyah!
16
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,533
Y'all hang on tight, Rev.
17
00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:54,126
You do realise we're still going
18
00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:55,336
incredibly slowly, right?
19
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,133
These oxen are really humming now.
20
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,086
I mean, we can only be going, uh...
21
00:00:59,110 --> 00:01:01,181
four, five miles an hour, tops.
22
00:01:01,205 --> 00:01:02,390
Stay with me, baby!
23
00:01:02,785 --> 00:01:05,546
Yeah, I'm probably just gonna
get out and walk.
24
00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:07,641
See you guys at
Independence Rock, I guess.
25
00:01:07,665 --> 00:01:09,056
Yee-haw!
26
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:17,080
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:49,636
Isn't it wonderful?
All these brave pioneers
28
00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:51,226
taking a break from the trail
29
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,766
to celebrate our great nation by...
30
00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:55,436
Gettin' drunk!
31
00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,316
All right, come on!
32
00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:00,818
Who's ready for some ale pong?
33
00:02:00,842 --> 00:02:03,486
I'm trying to get blackout by breakfast.
34
00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:04,776
Farmer John, you're up first.
35
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,026
Come on, bitch.
36
00:02:06,447 --> 00:02:10,230
Hit me with another buffalo
slider, Granny McGill.
37
00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:13,951
A little early to be
hitting the red meat, no?
38
00:02:13,975 --> 00:02:15,928
I usually spend 4th of July with Zeke,
39
00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:18,336
but he's in his honeymoon wagon
with Phaedra,
40
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,086
leaving me to eat my feelings.
41
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:22,466
In that case, make it two.
42
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,046
Oh, yeah? What's your problem?
43
00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:26,556
I'm just bummed that Trig
44
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,056
never wants to see me ever again.
45
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,226
You know, in some ways,
the emotional hurt
46
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:33,606
is worse than the bullets
she put in my back.
47
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,066
Well, no. The bullets
were actually much worse.
48
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:39,630
I still have one lodged in
my spine that's sheer agony.
49
00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:41,316
Hey, Uncle Benny!
50
00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:43,026
Will you take us around the fair?
51
00:02:43,050 --> 00:02:44,446
Okay, squirt, I keep telling you...
52
00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:46,736
I'm not Uncle Benny. I'm Benny the Teen,
53
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,671
the most feared outlaw alive.
54
00:02:48,695 --> 00:02:49,746
Please?
55
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,060
Please?
56
00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:54,416
All right, you win.
57
00:02:54,961 --> 00:02:57,836
But if I hear one word about
balloon hats, I'll shoot you.
58
00:02:57,860 --> 00:03:00,450
Yes!
59
00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:03,208
Oh, Zeke!
60
00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:05,806
Happy 4th.
61
00:03:05,830 --> 00:03:07,806
Mm. Happy 4th to you, too.
62
00:03:07,830 --> 00:03:10,096
Whoo. Don't get too excited.
63
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,056
I'm sorry, I am just exhausted.
64
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,436
Phaedra and I have been
going at it all night.
65
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,606
Oh, don't paint the whole picture.
66
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,736
No, no, it's not that. We were praying.
67
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,130
And don't get me wrong...
68
00:03:20,154 --> 00:03:23,116
I like praying as much
as the next God-fearing man.
69
00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:24,446
Twice a day, maybe three times
70
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:25,486
if I have a snack in the middle.
71
00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:27,406
But I just wish there was something else
72
00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:28,706
we could connect on, you know?
73
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:31,206
Well, hey, why don't you
just forget about all that?
74
00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:32,903
Okay, this is our favourite holiday!
75
00:03:32,927 --> 00:03:34,746
Let's go get into some classic
Prudence/Zeke hijinks.
76
00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:36,756
- Hey, that's a great idea.
- Yeah.
77
00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:39,126
- And I'll bring Phaedra.
- Oh, um...
78
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,296
This is what we can connect on.
79
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,096
I mean, who can resist
the magic of July the 4th?
80
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,306
You know, I kinda just meant,
like, a you and me thing.
81
00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:46,346
I'm gonna go tell her right now.
82
00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:48,870
This is awesome. Pru, thank you so much.
83
00:03:52,277 --> 00:03:54,787
Granny, make it a double.
84
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,276
- Aw.
- Damn it!
85
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,326
This stupid game is rigged!
86
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:04,061
Better luck next time.
87
00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:08,600
Give me the bear.
88
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,470
Do it.
89
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:16,466
- Here you go.
- Yay!
90
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,716
Thanks, Uncle Benny!
91
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,336
Ah, you're welcome.
92
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,495
No sudden moves.
93
00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:25,636
- 'Cause someone's getting a hug!
- Ooh!
94
00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:26,701
I missed you.
95
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,226
Is this how you kill people?
96
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,516
Oh, no. I'm not bounty hunting today.
97
00:04:29,540 --> 00:04:32,186
It's a national holiday.
Some union thing.
98
00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:33,476
Who's that, Uncle Benny?
99
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:34,634
Hey, little guy.
100
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,066
I'm an enemy of your Uncle Benny's.
101
00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:38,066
It's my job to hunt him down
and kill him
102
00:04:38,090 --> 00:04:40,366
because he's the most wanted
man in the country
103
00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:43,236
and he deserves to rot in hell!
104
00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:45,958
Even if everyone here
is going gaga for Trig.
105
00:04:47,008 --> 00:04:48,156
Wait, Trig is here?
106
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,752
Oh, yeah. She's doing some big heist.
107
00:04:49,776 --> 00:04:52,536
It's part of this crazy
crime spree she's on.
108
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,959
It's so stupid.
109
00:04:53,996 --> 00:04:55,584
Yeah.
110
00:04:55,608 --> 00:04:57,586
Stupid.
111
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,756
Well, maybe I should just
check it out, though, right?
112
00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:01,506
Just see what all the fuss is about.
113
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,170
Hey, kids. You want to check
out an active crime scene?
114
00:05:05,214 --> 00:05:06,216
Yay!
115
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,604
Ah, so much to do!
116
00:05:07,657 --> 00:05:10,226
We could carve our names
into Independence Rock.
117
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:11,709
Ooh, look! There's a meet-and-greet
118
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:13,606
with Uncle Sam in
his White House Wonderland.
119
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,686
- What sounds good to you?
- Uh, all of it.
120
00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:16,708
What do you think, Phaedra?
121
00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:18,566
Oh, um, sorry. What was the question?
122
00:05:18,590 --> 00:05:21,316
I'm just so confused by this sandwich.
123
00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,656
Right, yes. No, you want a more
124
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,996
perpendicular entry, dear.
125
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,746
- This?
- Ah, no.
126
00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:28,459
Like, turn it on its axis.
127
00:05:28,483 --> 00:05:30,456
The other axis. Rotate it, like...
128
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,746
I'm sorry, I just... I don't get this.
129
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:34,836
Or any of this. I mean, what exactly
130
00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:37,626
are we celebrating here?
131
00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:39,216
The pursuit of happiness?
132
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,846
Happiness is an indulgence
133
00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:42,483
that should be run away from.
134
00:05:42,507 --> 00:05:45,176
Oh, no, you're just not
seeing it the right way.
135
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,846
When I was at the orphanage growing up,
136
00:05:46,870 --> 00:05:48,436
I used to make an American flag
137
00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:49,856
out of a dirty old pillowcase.
138
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:50,856
And I'd wave it around
139
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,476
and pretend I was in
the Land of the Free.
140
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:56,288
Ezekiel, you're not a...
141
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,167
patriot, are you?
142
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,616
- Well...
- Because the man I married
143
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,486
loves God, not America.
144
00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:04,658
Sorry, no. A patriot. Yes.
145
00:06:04,682 --> 00:06:06,338
Um, no, I'm not that.
146
00:06:06,362 --> 00:06:08,650
No. Boo, America!
147
00:06:08,684 --> 00:06:10,016
What are you talking about?
148
00:06:10,075 --> 00:06:11,070
You're like the
biggest patriot I know...
149
00:06:11,107 --> 00:06:12,336
Ah! No, no, no, no, I'm not.
150
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:13,443
I might have experimented
151
00:06:13,467 --> 00:06:16,216
with patriotism in college,
but that was just a phase.
152
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,753
You know what we should do?
153
00:06:17,779 --> 00:06:21,329
We should protest this sick holiday.
154
00:06:21,353 --> 00:06:22,303
Haa...
155
00:06:22,327 --> 00:06:24,975
- Wouldn't that be righteous?
- Yes.
156
00:06:24,999 --> 00:06:27,183
Wonderful idea, dear.
157
00:06:29,039 --> 00:06:31,670
Well, at least it's
something we can connect on.
158
00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:33,333
Sorry.
159
00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:38,486
This is too many hot dogs.
160
00:06:39,970 --> 00:06:42,446
You... you took everything from us.
161
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:43,996
You're a monster!
162
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,956
Oh, that's so sweet!
163
00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,496
Thank you for coming to the robbery.
164
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,836
Everyone, really, thank you.
165
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:52,295
People are really freaked out by Trig?
166
00:06:52,343 --> 00:06:53,296
Dad?
167
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,836
Okay, what part of
"I never want to see you again"
168
00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:57,865
don't you understand?
169
00:06:57,889 --> 00:06:59,676
God, you're like obsessed
with me or something.
170
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,524
I'm not here to see you.
171
00:07:01,548 --> 00:07:04,016
I'll have you know, I'm here
on important business.
172
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,556
Uncle Benny? I have to potty.
173
00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:09,328
Levi, you're killin' me!
You just went potty!
174
00:07:09,393 --> 00:07:11,316
Does cholera give you
a tiny bladder, too?
175
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:14,402
Oh, my God, your new gang
seems pretty tough.
176
00:07:15,613 --> 00:07:17,879
Yeah, well, sorry
to steal the spotlight...
177
00:07:18,487 --> 00:07:19,696
but these folks now have
178
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,576
a real bad guy to worry about!
179
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,926
Get 'em up!
180
00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:26,980
Um, I'm sorry. Who are you again?
181
00:07:27,373 --> 00:07:28,689
Benny the Teen.
182
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:30,795
Oh! Right!
183
00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:33,393
Yeah, I think my parents
were scared of you.
184
00:07:33,428 --> 00:07:36,756
Would you mind if I go back
to being robbed by Trig?
185
00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:39,756
Sorry, Benny. Looks like
I'm new hotness,
186
00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:41,096
and you're an old has-been.
187
00:07:41,123 --> 00:07:43,556
- Oh! Ooh!
- All right, laugh it up.
188
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:46,436
This isn't the last
you've seen of Benny the Teen,
189
00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:48,080
not by a long shot!
190
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,121
Let's go potty.
191
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,796
Can you believe
192
00:07:58,820 --> 00:08:01,616
that people would deface
this perfectly good rock
193
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,406
with this graffiti?
194
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:06,076
"W.H. Collins and Co."?
195
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,956
More like, "Erase You...
196
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:10,416
Company," yeah.
197
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,796
And erase you!
198
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:14,042
- And erase you.
- Psst!
199
00:08:14,066 --> 00:08:15,186
Zeke!
200
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,716
- Pru, what are you doing here?
- What does it look like?
201
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:20,425
I'm busting you out of here. Let's go.
202
00:08:20,449 --> 00:08:22,676
What in George Washington's
203
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,016
green earth are you doing?
204
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,516
We are returning this rock
205
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,646
to the way God made it,
you disgusting patriots.
206
00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:31,066
Oh, no. No, you did not.
207
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:33,776
You need to take
that flat, rat-tail pompadour
208
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,526
and pack it up, Bena-bitch Arnold.
209
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,076
Ezekiel!
210
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:41,012
Did you hear what he
just said to your wife?
211
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,456
Yes.
212
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,076
Defend my honour.
213
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:45,706
- Right, um...
- Yes.
214
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,150
You guys are bad.
215
00:08:51,753 --> 00:08:53,373
Good start.
216
00:08:53,398 --> 00:08:54,756
Now elaborate.
217
00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:57,960
I think that America is...
218
00:08:57,984 --> 00:08:59,296
dumb and
219
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:02,886
red, white, and blue
are ugly, ugly colours.
220
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:06,905
And all you patriots should...
221
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,106
go back to England.
222
00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:12,550
Oh, now, you done did it.
223
00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:15,238
You're right, Thomas.
224
00:09:15,262 --> 00:09:16,656
It's not worth it.
225
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:19,538
You don't feed the trolls.
226
00:09:19,573 --> 00:09:20,845
Come on, let's go.
227
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,140
Good job, dear.
228
00:09:22,183 --> 00:09:26,049
You really showed
those flag-wavers who's boss.
229
00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:30,046
You're right, this is horrible.
I have to get out of here.
230
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,876
Wow, yeah, you have
to be honest with Phaedra
231
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,016
and tell her that you love America.
232
00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:38,683
Yeah, I could do that.
233
00:09:39,432 --> 00:09:40,918
Or, I could lie to her
234
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,976
and live a completely separate
double life behind her back.
235
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,806
Sure. Equally healthy option.
236
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:47,146
I'm probably gonna do that one.
237
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,186
All right, um... bye, sweetheart!
238
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:50,526
Just going off for a quick break.
239
00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:52,060
- Okay.
- Just a normal break,
240
00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:53,916
doing normal things
for a normal amount of time.
241
00:09:53,952 --> 00:09:57,196
- She doesn't care. Let's go.
- Okay. The lie worked!
242
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:58,996
I'm washed up?
243
00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:00,239
I'll show them who's washed up.
244
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,826
- What are we doing here?
- Come on, kids!
245
00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:03,916
We need to come up with
something really bad
246
00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:07,090
that Uncle Benny can do,
on short notice!
247
00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:09,277
Emma! Get your head in the game!
248
00:10:09,337 --> 00:10:11,006
I'm gonna need you
to stop eating the grass,
249
00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:13,507
- and focus.
- This is boring.
250
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:15,506
Can we go see Uncle Sam?
251
00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:17,926
I'm trying to come up
with my big comeback here!
252
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,363
- We're not meeting Uncle Sam!
- Please?
253
00:10:20,396 --> 00:10:23,189
He's the coolest,
bestest guy in the world.
254
00:10:25,343 --> 00:10:27,146
He is, huh?
255
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:29,146
The rest of you feel that way?
256
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,896
Then I suppose it would be pretty bad
257
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,213
if something were to happen to him?
258
00:10:32,237 --> 00:10:34,075
Yeah, really bad.
259
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,436
Interesting.
260
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,406
All right, let's go meet Uncle Sam.
261
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,116
Yay!
262
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,126
Why are you laughing so evilly?
263
00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:47,230
Shut up, Levi. No one likes a narc.
264
00:10:48,150 --> 00:10:51,216
Game! Bam! Drink up, Farmer John.
265
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,803
That's right. Todd
Aberdeen's back on top.
266
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:57,505
Yes, I may have shat my pants
on multiple occasions,
267
00:10:57,529 --> 00:11:00,096
but at least I can still
dominate at ale pong.
268
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,556
Ooh, ale pong?
269
00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:04,243
Oh, I've always wanted to try.
Can I play?
270
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:07,108
Sure, if you don't mind
getting your butt whooped.
271
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,816
- What?
- That was fun!
272
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,156
Oh, can we play again?
273
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,709
Yeah, okay, just...
274
00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:17,160
Rack 'em up.
275
00:11:17,796 --> 00:11:19,256
Bitch.
276
00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:30,046
Lib-er-ty! Lib-er-ty!
277
00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:31,126
Can you believe this is the most fun
278
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,966
I've had on my honeymoon
and my wife isn't even here?
279
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:35,436
Hey, I get it.
The highlight of my honeymoon
280
00:11:35,469 --> 00:11:36,766
was the night Todd passed out early
281
00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:38,235
and I ate a whole cake in the tub.
282
00:11:38,259 --> 00:11:40,306
I just... I thought marriage
would be different, you know?
283
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:43,896
I thought it'd be fun, and adventures
284
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,316
and, I don't know, fireworks.
285
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:49,316
I guess we don't always end
up with our fireworks person.
286
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,826
Uh-oh, stop the parade!
287
00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,156
- Whoa.
- Troll alert.
288
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:01,576
Look out, everybody. Whoop whoop!
289
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,666
I am so terribly sorry about
what I said to you earlier.
290
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,086
The truth is, that wasn't me at all.
291
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:07,220
I actually love the 4th of July.
292
00:12:07,244 --> 00:12:09,836
I... knew it!
293
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:11,636
My USA-dar is flawless!
294
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:14,968
Now come on, and get
your tushies on this float!
295
00:12:15,509 --> 00:12:16,889
Let's do it.
296
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,314
Nice to meet you, little Levi.
297
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,856
Now tell Uncle Sam,
what's your 4th of July wish?
298
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,766
I wish for a cure for my polio,
299
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:26,226
and rickets, and scurvy, and measles...
300
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,356
Uh, I'll see what I can do.
301
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:31,736
And Levi, I want you...
302
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,719
to have a happy 4th of July.
303
00:12:33,745 --> 00:12:35,736
All right. There you go.
304
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,996
Great wishes, kids. All right, now,
305
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:39,252
I need you to wait outside.
306
00:12:39,303 --> 00:12:41,332
I'm gonna have a little word
with Uncle Sam.
307
00:12:41,357 --> 00:12:42,666
Off you go.
308
00:12:42,690 --> 00:12:44,414
Get along, little doggies.
309
00:12:45,637 --> 00:12:46,876
Here's the deal.
310
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,716
I need to pull off
an unspeakably heinous crime
311
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,336
to outdo my daughter, and...
312
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,716
long story short, I need to kidnap you.
313
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:56,216
- Oh.
- Yeah, I know, it sucks.
314
00:12:56,507 --> 00:12:58,720
I hope you take it
as a compliment, though.
315
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:00,976
- I understand.
- Good.
316
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,686
And I hope you understand that Uncle Sam
317
00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:05,522
doesn't go down without a fight!
318
00:13:11,010 --> 00:13:12,612
How are you so jacked?
319
00:13:12,642 --> 00:13:15,361
I want you... to die!
320
00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:20,890
Ooh!
321
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:30,796
Ah, don't worry, kids.
322
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,426
Sam's just taking a little nap.
323
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:34,346
Hey, help me drag his body out of here.
324
00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:36,426
Yeah! I friggin' love you, America,
325
00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:38,215
and I don't care who knows it!
326
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,596
Yas, honey! You better crown
that good with brotherhood!
327
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,276
- Ezekiel!
- Aah!
328
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,026
What are you doing up there?
329
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,840
Um, this isn't
what it looks like. I'm...
330
00:13:52,603 --> 00:13:53,839
Look, Phaedra,
331
00:13:54,270 --> 00:13:56,336
I want to be a good husband to you.
332
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,656
But that also means
being honest with you.
333
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,916
I love America.
334
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:04,581
I know this must come
as a huge shock to you
335
00:14:04,605 --> 00:14:06,966
but I really hope you can find
some way of accepting it
336
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:11,751
because it... it is
a huge part of who I am.
337
00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:16,919
I absolutely do not accept that.
338
00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:19,936
That part of you
makes me sick and revolted
339
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,186
and the fact that we are
even having this conversation
340
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:25,026
makes me want to throw myself
off a cliff.
341
00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:27,736
Now get off that float immediately.
342
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:28,776
Yes, dear.
343
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,356
Yikes. That's a hard attitude
to move forward from.
344
00:14:32,394 --> 00:14:33,403
Zeke, wait.
345
00:14:33,441 --> 00:14:35,196
Haven't you done enough harm already?
346
00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,916
Go back to your own husband.
347
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:39,150
Go.
348
00:14:39,468 --> 00:14:41,296
Excuse me, ma'am? I'm so sorry,
349
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,033
but I think I may
have killed your husband.
350
00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:48,836
And, uh, not to pile on,
351
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:51,136
but I think he shit his pants.
352
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,587
He shit his pants.
353
00:14:52,637 --> 00:14:54,410
Happy 4th.
354
00:14:58,087 --> 00:14:59,924
Step this way, guys.
355
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:03,276
All right, I got you all
the best seat in the house.
356
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:06,356
Uh, thanks, but we really
don't have time for fireworks.
357
00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:08,026
We got back-to-back heists tomorrow.
358
00:15:08,050 --> 00:15:10,576
Trust me. You're not gonna
want to miss this.
359
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,906
It's gonna be a real explosion.
360
00:15:13,641 --> 00:15:16,191
Mm, yeah. That's what
fireworks do. They explode.
361
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,206
Just watch, please.
362
00:15:19,934 --> 00:15:21,166
Fireworks!
363
00:15:21,190 --> 00:15:23,206
Fireworks! Fireworks!
364
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:26,926
Folks, folks, folks, folks!
I got some bad news.
365
00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:29,256
Uncle Sam is not gonna be introducing
366
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,256
the fireworks show.
367
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,386
Because...
368
00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:35,926
he is the fireworks show.
369
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:37,756
I want you...
370
00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:39,200
to help me!
371
00:15:39,224 --> 00:15:41,939
Boy, you get a lot of mileage
out of that line, don't you?
372
00:15:41,963 --> 00:15:43,066
That's right, folks!
373
00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:46,316
Benny the Teen is gonna
blow up Uncle Sam,
374
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,348
on the 4th of July.
375
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:52,446
Now who's the baddest outlaw in town?
376
00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:55,350
Damn. That is cold-blooded.
377
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:57,956
Ooh.
378
00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,440
Whoo!
379
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:06,426
You're not really gonna
blow up Uncle Sam, are you?
380
00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:08,346
Yeah, actually, I am.
381
00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:11,380
Why?
382
00:16:12,490 --> 00:16:14,556
Because I need to be back on top.
383
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:16,928
If I'm not the number one
outlaw in town,
384
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:19,356
then, I'm nobody.
385
00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:20,526
That's not true.
386
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:24,260
You're my Uncle Benny. I love you.
387
00:16:28,353 --> 00:16:29,576
Damn you, Levi.
388
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,613
How dare you melt my heart
at a time like this?
389
00:16:34,653 --> 00:16:36,249
All right, hold on, Sam.
390
00:16:36,275 --> 00:16:37,775
I'm coming for you.
391
00:16:39,942 --> 00:16:41,865
- Oh!
- Come on.
392
00:16:41,890 --> 00:16:43,722
Jump!
393
00:16:52,686 --> 00:16:54,162
Ezekiel!
394
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:58,352
I can't believe it.
My own husband, a patriot.
395
00:16:58,376 --> 00:17:00,106
But there is still hope.
396
00:17:00,130 --> 00:17:02,646
We are going to pray the USA away.
397
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:03,857
All night, if we have to.
398
00:17:03,881 --> 00:17:05,828
Are you sure we can't just
watch the fireworks first?
399
00:17:05,852 --> 00:17:07,101
Absolutely not.
400
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:09,696
Watching rockets being
shot off into the sky
401
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,456
is a literal assault on heaven.
402
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,996
Dear God, let apple pie
403
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:17,416
be like ash in his mouth.
404
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,586
I'm gonna get my fireworks.
405
00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:20,656
In fact, make him a cake guy.
406
00:17:20,685 --> 00:17:23,490
Vanilla only, obviously.
407
00:17:23,806 --> 00:17:25,153
Prudence!
408
00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:29,233
- Pru!
- Oh, my God.
409
00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:30,426
Zeke, what?
410
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,588
Wow, Todd. Do you know about your face?
411
00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:37,226
Yes. I blacked out earlier
and apparently some hoodlums
412
00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:40,486
drew penile phalluses on my face.
413
00:17:40,510 --> 00:17:43,026
Sorry about that. Is Pru here?
414
00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:44,606
Uh, I don't know where she is.
415
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,276
And now, if you'll excuse me,
416
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:49,093
I have to go make sick out of both ends.
417
00:17:52,883 --> 00:17:54,173
Zeke.
418
00:17:55,889 --> 00:17:57,229
Pru.
419
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,446
Wow.
420
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:33,456
Well, I have to say thank you
for those seats.
421
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,036
We got a great view of you
422
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:36,746
going soft in front of everyone.
423
00:18:36,770 --> 00:18:39,126
Let's go, boys.
424
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,479
We got a bounty hunter on our tail.
425
00:18:41,504 --> 00:18:43,014
Bye, Dad.
426
00:18:46,153 --> 00:18:47,249
Dingus?
427
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,556
Oh, my God. So awkward.
428
00:18:57,368 --> 00:18:59,209
Okay, no, wait. I have to go this time.
429
00:18:59,234 --> 00:19:00,984
Okay, just wait.
430
00:19:01,982 --> 00:19:04,197
- Okay, go.
- Okay. Bye.
431
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,878
- Bye.
- Bye.
432
00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:08,236
God, I love this holiday.
433
00:19:13,112 --> 00:19:14,326
Benny. Um,
434
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:16,286
what are you doing up at this hour?
435
00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:18,246
I could ask the same thing of you, Rev.
436
00:19:18,270 --> 00:19:21,108
Um, are you... You going somewhere?
437
00:19:21,132 --> 00:19:24,086
I sure am. Far away from here.
438
00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:26,636
I made a big mistake tonight,
439
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:27,676
and it's your fault.
440
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,414
How... how is it my fault?
441
00:19:29,467 --> 00:19:31,136
'Cause you made me soft!
442
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,266
All your stupid
"love thy neighbour" crap
443
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:36,396
must've rubbed off on me,
and it made me weak.
444
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:40,233
No, Benny, that... That is not weakness.
445
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,486
That's strength.
446
00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:44,196
That means deep down inside,
you are a good person.
447
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:47,446
Don't say that!
I'm Benny the Teen, god damn it!
448
00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:49,706
The meanest son of a bitch there is.
449
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,008
And nobody can take that away from me.
450
00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:55,113
But, no, I mean,
you can't just leave us!
451
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,994
We'll never get to Oregon without you.
452
00:19:57,018 --> 00:20:00,256
That's not my problem.
Maybe you haven't heard.
453
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,143
I'm a bad guy.
454
00:20:03,981 --> 00:20:05,176
Is that Benny?
455
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,981
What is going on out here?
456
00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:10,633
We're [BLEEP].
31944
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