Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,266 --> 00:00:04,266
Ooh, ooh.
2
00:00:04,300 --> 00:00:06,100
Guess who is in the building?
3
00:00:06,133 --> 00:00:07,373
One of my favorite people.
4
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,330
Who, Chef Boyardee?
5
00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:12,350
No.
6
00:00:12,383 --> 00:00:14,253
Sasha!
7
00:00:14,283 --> 00:00:16,203
- Ew.
- You mean, Sasha, Sasha?
8
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:18,233
- 'Uh-huh.'
- Triple Platinum Sasha?
9
00:00:18,266 --> 00:00:20,656
Okay, she's the bomb, son.
10
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,320
She alright,
man.
She ain't all
that.
11
00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:24,120
I mean, you know..
12
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,150
...take away her
money
and her-her-her fame
13
00:00:26,183 --> 00:00:28,103
and you just got
like a regular
girl.
14
00:00:28,133 --> 00:00:30,163
Yeah, you take away your
goatee and your muscles
15
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:31,270
and you just got me.
16
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,230
[Dee laughing]
17
00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:37,103
No, come on, Shawn, now.
She is a diva.
18
00:00:37,133 --> 00:00:39,373
She got a Oscar and a Tony.
19
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,180
I don't know why people are so
fascinated by superstars, man.
20
00:00:43,216 --> 00:00:44,326
I mean, they're
just
regular people.
21
00:00:44,366 --> 00:00:46,156
If I meet
Sasha,
I'd treat her
22
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,270
just like
any regular old
broad.
23
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:51,350
Yeah? What, hit it and then
change your phone number?
24
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,660
[laughing]
25
00:00:59,316 --> 00:01:00,376
Now, I mean, real, kid, yo.
26
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,200
I mean, you know
Sasha's probably
used
27
00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:04,123
to people like puttin'
her up
on a pedestal.
28
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:06,830
You know,
guys tryin' to jock her.
29
00:01:06,116 --> 00:01:08,826
- Uh-uh, Shawn!
- No, no, no. On the real.
30
00:01:08,116 --> 00:01:10,226
Yo, if I met Sasha,
in real life
31
00:01:10,266 --> 00:01:12,316
I would just treat her
like,
I-I would be a roughneck.
32
00:01:12,350 --> 00:01:15,130
I'd snatch her by her hair
and go, "Come here, girl!
33
00:01:17,116 --> 00:01:18,166
Come, talk to daddy."
34
00:01:19,216 --> 00:01:21,226
Well, daddy,
since you're
here
35
00:01:21,266 --> 00:01:23,166
how about dinner tonight?
36
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,000
You know, that's funny,
Dee,
for a minute there
37
00:01:25,330 --> 00:01:26,330
you sound just like--
38
00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:29,000
Sasha! Sasha!
39
00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:30,100
Oh, my God! Sasha!
40
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,303
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Oh, my God!
41
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,333
Hey, hey, hey, man. Quit
actin'
like a damn groupie.
42
00:01:34,366 --> 00:01:38,126
Sasha! Sasha!
43
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:41,126
So well-opinioned and
you're
not even on my payroll.
44
00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:43,326
- Payroll.
- Payroll.
45
00:01:43,366 --> 00:01:47,146
- What's your name?
- Um, my name is Shawn Williams.
46
00:01:47,183 --> 00:01:49,183
How are you doin'?
I'm Marlon Williams.
47
00:01:49,216 --> 00:01:51,216
I like to be calledpapito.
48
00:01:53,283 --> 00:01:56,833
So, Shawn, you know,
you seem so sweet
49
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,656
and handsome.
50
00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:00,330
How about dinner
tonight?
7:30, let's say?
51
00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:02,826
[stammering]
7:30.
52
00:02:02,116 --> 00:02:04,156
Uh, fine with me.
53
00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:07,120
Alright. I'll pick you up.
54
00:02:07,150 --> 00:02:08,130
Alright.
55
00:02:15,383 --> 00:02:17,223
Oh, and Marlon, if I can find
56
00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:18,330
a girlfriend desperate enough
57
00:02:18,366 --> 00:02:19,376
I'll hook you up, okay?
58
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,000
Alright!
59
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,280
[theme song]
60
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,180
♪ We're brothers ♪
61
00:02:27,216 --> 00:02:30,196
♪ We're happy and we're
singin'
and we're colored ♪
62
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:34,120
♪ Gimme a high five ♪♪
63
00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:35,330
(male #1)
'Alright. Cut and print.'
64
00:02:35,366 --> 00:02:37,246
'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.'
65
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,303
[theme music]
66
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,353
[music continues]
67
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,660
(Dee)
'Oh, look at you!'
68
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:10,280
All ready for your
date
with your superstar.
69
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:13,096
What you two, what you
two
gonna talk about?
70
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:15,103
I don't know. What do you talk
about with a superstar?
71
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:16,323
How much you got in the bank?
72
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:20,160
- Well..
- That's true.
73
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,660
Ask her,
what she was thinkin'
about
74
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,500
when she wore that
low-cut dress to the
Oscars?
75
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,270
Girlfriend showed
more breasts than KFC.
76
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,000
- Hey!
- It was..
77
00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:32,120
Why don't you just
ask her about her work?
78
00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:33,380
- What is she doing now?
- Oh, actually..
79
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,150
She's about to start
this play called
80
00:03:35,183 --> 00:03:36,323
"Bringin' The Noise,
Bringin' The Fun."
81
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,320
Oh, word. Shawn,
I'd be perfect for that.
82
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:41,660
You always say,
I'm loud and stink.
83
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,320
Wassup?
I'm your brother, man.
84
00:03:42,350 --> 00:03:44,500
- Come, on, stop. No!
- Come on, Shawn.
85
00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:46,200
- Come on, man.
- 'No. Stop.'
86
00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:48,163
Imagine that, if I don't wash
for like three months.
87
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:50,300
- I just--
- 'Oh, Marlon. Stop it now.'
88
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:52,003
I'm not gettin' you no job.
89
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:53,300
- Stop it.
- Yes, Marlon.
90
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,373
You just be
satisfied
with a few hundred
91
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000
autographed
pictures
like me. Please.
92
00:03:58,330 --> 00:03:59,380
Oh, no. Y'all gonna
stop this now.
93
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:01,200
- Y'all gonna stop this now.
- No, no, no.
94
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:08,226
- Mmm. Mmm-mm.
- Mmm. Mmm, mmm.
95
00:04:08,266 --> 00:04:10,116
- Look at you.
- Look at you, girl.
96
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:13,660
When I die, I wanna
come back as your dress.
97
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,660
Just so I can wear your ass out.
98
00:04:18,233 --> 00:04:19,323
Are you ready
to go out
tonight?
99
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,370
Oh, yeah. Most def.
100
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,150
Um, actually though,
I want you to meet
101
00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:23,283
a couple of people, uh..
102
00:04:23,316 --> 00:04:25,216
This here
is my brother, Marlon.
103
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:27,250
'You met him earlier.'
104
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:35,000
- This here is my tacky pops.
- How do you do?
105
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,380
- And this is Dee.
- Hi!
106
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,320
- Oh, no! Y'all stop it.
- Come on, Dee.
107
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:44,150
- Pops.
- Take it up for the wall.
108
00:04:45,166 --> 00:04:48,656
(Dee)
'Alright, smile..'
109
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,300
- Okay.
- Come on, man.
110
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:51,003
I'm sorry.
Hey, you know..
111
00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:53,160
I'm also in
show business as
well.
112
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,350
I was on tour last year
in
the critically acclaimed
play
113
00:04:55,383 --> 00:04:57,383
"Mama, Move Your
Big Old Ass,
Girl."
114
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,830
That was good.
That was good.
115
00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:02,146
I got a whole bunch of
positive
Mark Liquor commercials
116
00:05:02,183 --> 00:05:03,323
out in the market right now.
117
00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:05,250
I'm sorry,
I don't recognize you.
118
00:05:05,283 --> 00:05:08,153
Oh, well, you know.
I also sing just like Jonas.
119
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:11,383
♪ Oo-oo-ooh yeah ♪
120
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,270
♪ Oo-oh no ♪♪
121
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:15,220
Come on,let's go.
122
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:18,380
Now, listen, I got a stack
of things I'd like you to
sign.
123
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,280
[indistinct chatter]
124
00:05:20,316 --> 00:05:21,366
- Ooh, yeah!
- Will you stop it?
125
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,250
[indistinct chatter]
126
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:25,353
- Come on.
- Will you stop, Marlon?
127
00:05:25,383 --> 00:05:27,833
You know,
I can also dance
too.
128
00:05:27,116 --> 00:05:29,326
- Watch this.
- Watch.
129
00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,150
Watch that!
130
00:05:33,216 --> 00:05:35,326
Alright.
131
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:36,250
I dance like a filler too.
132
00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:40,373
- Do the baseball. The
baseball.
- The baseball, the baseball.
133
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,500
- Watch this.
- Ooh! Yeah, baby.
134
00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:45,330
Okay. Alright.
135
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,130
Do the home run. Do
the home run. Do the home
run.
136
00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:48,366
Ohh, yeah. Oh!
137
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,230
Ah! Safe!
138
00:05:51,383 --> 00:05:53,173
He's good. He's good.
139
00:05:57,333 --> 00:06:00,323
Oh-whee, girl.
This place is fancy.
140
00:06:00,350 --> 00:06:02,330
Mmm. Mmm-mm. Yo.
141
00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:03,500
You know, they even have locks
142
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,170
on the bathroom stalls.
143
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,370
The places I usually go..
144
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,660
...you got to keep
your feet up like this
145
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,000
to keep people out.
Hey, whoa. Hey, hey!
146
00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:11,180
A man here.
A man here.
147
00:06:11,216 --> 00:06:16,326
Sasha! Sasha. Where have you
been keeping yourself?
148
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:19,180
- Oh, we've missed you.
- Thank you.
149
00:06:19,216 --> 00:06:21,316
Woo! Man!
150
00:06:21,350 --> 00:06:23,270
This place is pretty
expensive, bro.
151
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,160
Now, it's a good thing
I had a big lunch.
152
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,220
I'm just gonna have, you know,
probably, some bread sticks.
153
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:31,280
A glass of water,
and a little bit of lemon.
154
00:06:31,316 --> 00:06:33,326
Oh, please, Shawn. I'm payin'.
155
00:06:33,366 --> 00:06:35,166
Oh, in that case, um..
156
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,370
...let me have the $200 lobster.
157
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,350
The $85 salad and, uh..
158
00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:42,333
What's that stuff
that Puff Daddy be drinkin'?
159
00:06:42,366 --> 00:06:45,116
That Darn Pigeon.
Give me some of that.
160
00:06:45,150 --> 00:06:47,170
Very good, sir.
You got the last lobster.
161
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:51,160
Really? Oh, man. That's too
bad.
I really wanted a lobster too.
162
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,280
Oh, for you, I think
I can round one up.
163
00:06:54,316 --> 00:06:56,116
I'm sorry, sir.
We're out of lobster.
164
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:57,370
May I suggest something else?
165
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,330
May I suggest
my foot in your behind?
166
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:07,833
These people, they kiss up
to me all the time.
167
00:07:07,116 --> 00:07:08,126
It's so nice to be on a date
168
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:09,366
with a real
down-earth guy like you.
169
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,330
That's right, baby girl,
and that's why you should
always
170
00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:13,176
date New Yorkers,
'cause we keep it real.
171
00:07:13,216 --> 00:07:15,296
Yeah, well, I know,
because I'm a New Yorker too.
172
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,833
I went to
Humanity's High School.
173
00:07:17,116 --> 00:07:18,226
- Are you serious?
- 'Hmm-mm.'
174
00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:20,656
We played your football team.
175
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,370
You guys suck.
176
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,350
I know. I was the cheerleader.
177
00:07:23,383 --> 00:07:26,273
Really? So was
my brother, Marlon.
178
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,270
- Yeah.
- Can I have your autograph?
179
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,220
Sure. I'm sorry, Shawn.
180
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,130
- This will just take a
minute.
- It's alright.
181
00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:34,126
Come on, tell me what you
did after high school.
182
00:07:34,166 --> 00:07:36,316
Well, I went
to junior college for two
years
183
00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:38,130
and I majored in business.
184
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,116
You can make
that out to Natalie.
185
00:07:41,150 --> 00:07:43,660
'Go on.'
186
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:44,280
Um, anyway, um..
187
00:07:44,316 --> 00:07:46,376
So, you know, I wasn't
quite sure what I wanted to do
188
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,330
so I, you know, I did
a lot of island hopping.
189
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:50,350
Really? The Caribbean?
190
00:07:50,383 --> 00:07:53,173
Oh, no. Staten Island,
Long Island.
191
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,280
Biker's Island.
192
00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:56,316
Fantasy Island.
193
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:59,370
[screaming]
That is Sasha!
194
00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:04,370
- Are you somebody?
- I am somebody.
195
00:08:08,316 --> 00:08:10,146
Oh. Here we go.
196
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:20,003
- Chris Tucker.
- That's right, man!
197
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:22,220
That's right, man! Now,
get out of here, Tiger Woods.
198
00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:24,370
'Get out right now.'
199
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,350
♪ Pop-pop pop-pop ♪
200
00:08:26,383 --> 00:08:28,323
♪ Pop-pop pop-pop ♪
201
00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:31,100
♪ Look at me
what about us man ♪
202
00:08:32,266 --> 00:08:34,096
You don't sing.
203
00:08:34,133 --> 00:08:37,333
- You're crazy.
- And you know this, man.
204
00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:40,373
You know, you're
smart.
You're funny.
205
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,100
I-I just don't,
don't take this
wrong.
206
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:46,133
I just wanna know,
why you running a newsstand?
207
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:49,166
Uh, well, see, girl. That's just
the beginnin' of my plans. See?
208
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,220
'Cause, uh, by the year 2000,
I wanna have
209
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:53,300
like a whole chain
of newsstands, you know.
210
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,383
I wanna be like the Starbucks
of newsstands.
211
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,330
- Wow! Ambitious too.
- Yeah.
212
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:00,270
I gotta tell you.
213
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:02,100
You're a real
diamond
in the rough.
214
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,373
[chuckles]
Well, speaking of rough
215
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,000
I know my hands
are a little dry.
216
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:10,000
No, no. I told you people
before you can't come in.
217
00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:11,230
[sighs]
This is
annoying.
218
00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:13,166
Doesn't look like we're
gonna
have a quiet meal.
219
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,160
So what? Let's get out of here.
220
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:16,320
I know a place that
makes greatnachos.
221
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:19,170
- I love me somenachos.
- You like somenachos?
222
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,380
Let's go get somenachos.
223
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,160
Hey, and thenachos
224
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,300
But you gotta pay
for the cheese sauce.
225
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:25,323
Great.
226
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,383
Hey, yo. What's up, y'all?
227
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,830
I just got back from partyin'
with Sasha all night.
228
00:09:33,116 --> 00:09:35,346
And boom! You can read
about it in today's..
229
00:09:35,383 --> 00:09:38,183
Oh, I did.
I have it right here.
230
00:09:38,216 --> 00:09:42,326
"Yes, he did. Who was
that nubian prince
231
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:46,270
"on the arm of Sasha
at the opening of Track 99.
232
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:50,380
Oh, it's her
new boy-toy, Sam Williams."
233
00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:54,150
- Sam Williams?
- Hey-ya, Sammy!
234
00:09:54,183 --> 00:09:56,833
That ain't funny. How can they
mess my name up like that?
235
00:09:56,116 --> 00:09:59,656
I'm surprised, you two are
still together after two
weeks.
236
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:02,660
Yeah. You know, I-I dated
a girl for two weeks once.
237
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,350
Yeah, and then
she got her memory
back.
238
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,000
Shawn, I've seen that look
in your eye before.
239
00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:10,120
- You are sprung.
- Ha ha ha.
240
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:11,250
A little somethin',
somethin', pops.
241
00:10:11,283 --> 00:10:13,503
I just didn't expect it, man.
242
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:14,330
I mean, we really been
vibin' lately.
243
00:10:14,366 --> 00:10:16,216
She gives my life, fantasy
244
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,120
and I give her
a little bit of reality.
245
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:21,130
Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah.
That's great.
246
00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:23,096
How's the sex?
247
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:25,663
- We didn't have sex yet.
- You what?
248
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,230
After all this time,
you mean to tell me
249
00:10:26,266 --> 00:10:28,176
you haven't hit the skinge?
250
00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:33,320
Boy, what happened
to your morals?
251
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:37,100
Yeah, then what are
you
wastin' our time for?
252
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:38,273
Don't you guys get it? Look.
253
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,270
I could tell Sasha
things
that I never told
254
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:42,120
any other woman before.
255
00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:43,350
Oh, you mean,
like the time pop caught you
256
00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:46,183
wearing mom's heels
and her lipstick?
257
00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:48,126
Boy, that wasn't
me.
That was you.
258
00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:51,656
Oh, yeah.
259
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,146
Well, anyway, since
you and Sasha so close
260
00:10:54,183 --> 00:10:56,303
why don't you
pass her my videotape?
261
00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:59,163
"Enema Of The State."
262
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,160
Marlon, are you crazy?
I ain't givin' her no
porno.
263
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:04,230
Oh, no, no. See? I taped over
most of it. Come on, man.
264
00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:07,826
I still think
she got you whipped. Pew.
265
00:11:07,116 --> 00:11:08,296
(Shawn)
'Are you crazy, pop?'
266
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:11,153
Hey, y'all, I tell you
straight up right now,
pop.
267
00:11:11,183 --> 00:11:13,163
I'm in charge
of this
relationship.
268
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,500
- I'm the man.
- Shawn? Let's go.
269
00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:18,100
Yes, dear.
270
00:11:19,183 --> 00:11:20,303
Bye.
271
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,000
[instrumental music]
272
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,830
Woo!
273
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:31,333
Oh, uh, sorry
about the mess, girl
274
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,830
but my maid
got deported last week.
275
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,500
Don't be embarrassed.
276
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,180
I, once, lived in
a place kinda like this.
277
00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:39,276
Are you sure?
278
00:11:39,316 --> 00:11:41,346
I got some roaches
up in here so big
279
00:11:41,383 --> 00:11:43,383
I had to put 'em on my lease.
280
00:11:47,266 --> 00:11:50,276
I have to say, I've had the
best time in the past two
weeks.
281
00:11:50,316 --> 00:11:52,196
You're everything
I can ever want in a
man.
282
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,253
- Hmm.
- Hmm-mm.
283
00:11:54,283 --> 00:11:56,663
And I know it's been..
284
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,320
...difficult dating me.
285
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,500
No, actually,
I had a great time.
286
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:00,350
I'm havin' the time
of my life, girl.
287
00:12:00,383 --> 00:12:03,133
Even white people
started be nice to me.
288
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:07,180
You know what?
I have a surprise for you.
289
00:12:07,216 --> 00:12:09,096
I booked us seats on the Concord
290
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:11,283
and we're gonna spend
the weekend in Paris.
291
00:12:11,316 --> 00:12:12,376
- Paris?
- Yeah.
292
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,130
Oh, my God.
What's the special occasion?
293
00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:16,296
Sit down.
294
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:18,183
I want everything to be perfect
295
00:12:18,216 --> 00:12:20,376
when I pop the question.
296
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,160
Whoa! Hold up.
297
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,330
Look, Sasha,
I-I think you're a great girl
298
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:26,220
and you probably
make a beautiful wife
299
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,230
but I think
we need to slow down.
300
00:12:28,266 --> 00:12:31,176
- You think?
- Yeah.
301
00:12:31,216 --> 00:12:33,266
Shawn, I'm not
talking
about marriage.
302
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:37,000
- You're not?
- No, man. That's a big step.
303
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:38,250
We've only dated for two weeks.
304
00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:40,003
That's what I've been sayin'.
305
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:41,200
Woo! Good, girl.
306
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,373
- I'm sure.
- Oh, my God.
307
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,180
For a minute there,
you scared me.
308
00:12:44,216 --> 00:12:46,146
I thought you was gettin'
sprung, I ain't even hit it
yet.
309
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:48,333
- Oh, God.
- You know what I mean.
310
00:12:48,366 --> 00:12:51,146
I just want you to
be
the father of my
child.
311
00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:55,330
[instrumental music]
312
00:12:58,316 --> 00:13:00,276
Hey, Shawn, Shawn, Shawn.
313
00:13:00,316 --> 00:13:01,996
You're so lucky hangin' out with
314
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:03,180
the biggest celebrity
on the planet.
315
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,326
I know.
I was pretty bugged, pop.
316
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,100
And now, she wanna
take me to Paris.
317
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:10,663
Ooh, that beats the
time
I went to the Bronx
318
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:13,170
with tattoo
from Fantasy Island.
Uh-huh.
319
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,170
Yeah, I bet I know
how you got there too.
320
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,120
You took the train,
bus, the train.
321
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,150
[laughs]
Hey, look here, man.
322
00:13:20,183 --> 00:13:22,503
Since, you goin' to Paris,
why don't you bring me
323
00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:24,280
an authentic souvenir?
Somethin'
you can only get in France.
324
00:13:24,316 --> 00:13:26,326
- Like what?
- French fries.
325
00:13:28,383 --> 00:13:32,283
Shawn! Shawn,
you are going to Europe.
326
00:13:32,316 --> 00:13:34,146
Aren't you more excited?
327
00:13:34,183 --> 00:13:36,833
Man, what, did she make
you pay your own way?
328
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,296
No. It ain't anythin'
like that, pop.
329
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,203
But she told me last night
that the only reason
330
00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:41,503
why we're goin'
is just to have
sex.
331
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:44,160
[laughs]
Hey,monsieur.
332
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,320
There is nothin' wrong with
a littlela bang, bang, bang.
333
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,303
Yeah, but, pop,
the sex is not for pleasure.
334
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:54,323
It's for reproduction.
335
00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:57,150
You're gonna have sex
on a copy machine?
336
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:00,100
Oh, man.
337
00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:01,103
Those are gonna make some
338
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,183
bomb-ass Christmas cards.
339
00:14:03,216 --> 00:14:04,366
What? What do you mean, son?
340
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,130
I mean, she want me
to be her baby daddy.
341
00:14:08,166 --> 00:14:11,126
Oh, I'll be right back.
I have to make a call.
342
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,200
Ooh.
343
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,833
National Enquirer?
344
00:14:17,366 --> 00:14:19,326
This is Dee.
345
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:21,330
You would not believe..
346
00:14:21,366 --> 00:14:23,376
Shawn, you mean to tell me,
you gonna be
347
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,150
married to a superstar?
348
00:14:26,183 --> 00:14:27,383
Alright!
349
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,250
♪ Money being made around here ♪
350
00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:31,333
♪ Ah money being made
around here ♪
351
00:14:31,366 --> 00:14:35,496
♪ Aw Range Rovers
diamond rings big old house ♪
352
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:36,250
♪ If you like that kinda thing ♪
353
00:14:36,283 --> 00:14:38,503
♪ Money being made
around here ♪♪
354
00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:40,830
No, pop. There ain't
gonna be no wedding.
355
00:14:40,116 --> 00:14:41,196
She just wants my baby.
356
00:14:41,233 --> 00:14:43,333
You're gonna have
a baby out of
wedlock?
357
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:46,326
What do you think
you are? NBA player?
358
00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:49,116
Now, wait a minute,
son.
I didn't know that.
359
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:50,130
I didn't know that, now.
360
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,196
I mean, it's okay as one thing
361
00:14:51,233 --> 00:14:52,353
if you, if you have an accident
362
00:14:52,383 --> 00:14:54,663
you know, like
you're
just foolin' around
363
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,130
in the back of
the '69 El
Dorado.
364
00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:58,496
And then Al Green
on the eight track
365
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,330
and your stomach is
full
of apple wine.
366
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:03,500
- Then, that's different.
- Don't listen, man.
367
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:05,250
He's still drunk
off the apple
wine.
368
00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:07,833
Look, here,
what you wanna do, Shawn
369
00:15:07,116 --> 00:15:10,126
you had that baby,
right?
You get the custody,
right?
370
00:15:10,166 --> 00:15:13,316
You write the story of how
she payin' you child
support.
371
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,380
Then you write it,
you sell the rights to
HBO
372
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,250
do the TV movie and then boom!
373
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:20,123
I play you in the life story.
374
00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:22,180
♪ They're gonna be some ♪
375
00:15:22,216 --> 00:15:24,326
♪ Money being made around here ♪
376
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:27,160
♪ Money being made around here
Range Rover ♪
377
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,270
♪ Big old house ♪
♪ Diamond ring ♪
378
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,220
♪ If you like
that kinda thing ♪♪
379
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,220
You know,
y'all are ugly together.
380
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:42,270
Hey! I can't believe
we in Paris, girl.
381
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,130
Hey, Sasha.
382
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:47,496
I just have to say
Jean Claude Van Damn
383
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:48,280
this place is fly!
384
00:15:48,316 --> 00:15:51,326
You know, it's my favorite
city
in the whole entire world.
385
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,350
I know, and the people
here are mad cool, man.
386
00:15:52,383 --> 00:15:55,123
They just sit back
and drink wine all day.
387
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:57,200
Remind me of Harlem.
388
00:15:57,233 --> 00:15:59,203
I just love everything French.
389
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:01,303
Really? How about a French kiss?
390
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,830
Shawn. Shawn, Shawn.
391
00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:09,146
I really want
tonight
to be so special
392
00:16:09,183 --> 00:16:10,333
a night we'll never forget.
393
00:16:10,366 --> 00:16:13,156
So, um, go pop
a bottle of
champagne
394
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,280
and get yourself ready,
and I'll be right back,
okay?
395
00:16:15,316 --> 00:16:17,326
Yeah. You go get ready
for daddy.
396
00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:20,170
Or for daddy!
397
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,500
Yeah.
398
00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:24,280
[laughing]
399
00:16:26,183 --> 00:16:29,163
- 'How are you doing out
there?'
- 'I'm alright.'
400
00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:50,366
You look so comfortable.
Nice and relaxed.
401
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,330
I'm glad. So, are you ready?
402
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:55,300
[scoffs]
Girl, I've been ready
since the first day
403
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:57,233
I laid my eyes on you.
404
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,216
The question is, areyou
405
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,160
[knock on door]
406
00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:09,503
Now, I'm ready.
407
00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:11,170
[cheering]
408
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:15,220
Yeah! You gonna turn me out
on the first night, girl.
409
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:17,000
Oh, my God. You know what?
410
00:17:17,330 --> 00:17:19,830
I heard all kind of
rumors
about Hollywood people
411
00:17:19,116 --> 00:17:20,176
and how freaky they are
412
00:17:20,216 --> 00:17:22,276
but I had no
idea
they were true.
413
00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,316
So, uh..
414
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:26,230
...how you wanna do this?
415
00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:28,246
Well, why don't we stay here
and why don't you
416
00:17:28,283 --> 00:17:30,333
go make your way
to the bathroom?
417
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:33,266
Ah! I get it.
Y'all wanna role play.
418
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,170
Alright, I'll be
the runaway slave
419
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,280
y'all be the white girls
in the park.
420
00:17:37,316 --> 00:17:41,156
Yeah, but if we get caught,
don't tell master.
421
00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:43,380
I'll go get a whip.
422
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,280
Uh, here.
Take this cup with you.
423
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,496
Oh, you want something
to drink first, alright.
424
00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:51,320
No, no, no.
It's for you to fill up.
425
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:56,160
Hey, somethin' tells me
we're not on the same page.
426
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:57,250
Well, Shawn,
this is Dr. Leveau.
427
00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:59,323
She's my fertility specialist.
428
00:17:59,350 --> 00:18:02,250
We've been charting my cycle,
and I'm so fertile.
429
00:18:02,283 --> 00:18:05,003
And we need you to go
quickly fill that cup up.
430
00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:07,000
Uh, just call me Speedy.
431
00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:08,660
Right.
432
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,320
Um, but my question is
433
00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:12,100
why can't we just do it
the old-fashioned way, you
know?
434
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,353
I prefer it this way.
435
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,303
The percentages are better.
436
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:17,253
Shawn, I'm sorry.
437
00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:20,503
I-I should have
made myself clear.
438
00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:22,230
You probably thought
we were gonna sleep together.
439
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:27,183
Yeah. The thought
did cross my mind.
440
00:18:27,216 --> 00:18:30,376
More than your mind, apparently.
441
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,350
No, please. Keep that thought.
442
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:37,660
Alright, I'll do it, I guess
443
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:40,830
if-if it means we're gonna
raise a healthier baby.
444
00:18:40,116 --> 00:18:43,116
Well, Shawn,
it's not quite like that.
445
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:45,180
I'm gonna raise the baby myself.
446
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,150
Oh!
447
00:18:50,266 --> 00:18:52,266
Now, I get it.
448
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:55,350
When you said that I was
everything you wanted in a
man..
449
00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:57,383
...you didn't mean me.
450
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,320
You meant my genes.
451
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:02,380
Doctor, can you excuse us
for a minute?
452
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,000
Shawn, let's sit down, okay?
453
00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,350
No, I don't want to.
454
00:19:09,383 --> 00:19:11,323
Oh, come on.
455
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,250
Mm-mm.
456
00:19:13,283 --> 00:19:16,103
Alright.
457
00:19:16,133 --> 00:19:17,273
Come on.
458
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,130
The moment I met you
459
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:22,176
there was not
a question in my mind
460
00:19:22,216 --> 00:19:23,296
you were the perfect one.
461
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:26,203
You're the perfect one
to father my child.
462
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,273
Yeah, but I
thought
we had something.
463
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:30,230
We did. We had fun.
464
00:19:31,283 --> 00:19:35,333
You weren't falling
in love, were you?
465
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,280
No! I wasn't fallin' in no love.
466
00:19:39,183 --> 00:19:40,353
This whole love stuff
467
00:19:40,383 --> 00:19:42,173
is overrated, you know.
468
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,180
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm cool, you know.
469
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:46,246
I-I just had
somethin'
in my eye.
470
00:19:47,266 --> 00:19:48,276
Don't worry.
471
00:19:48,316 --> 00:19:50,326
The baby is gonna grow up having
472
00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:52,170
everything it wants,
everything it needs.
473
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,230
Yeah. Except the father.
474
00:19:54,266 --> 00:19:56,266
But-but it will
have
a male influence.
475
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,170
My bodyguard, Raoul.
476
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,370
I want my baby to know
more than just thesalsa.
477
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,330
Look, Sasha.
478
00:20:04,366 --> 00:20:06,166
I couldn't live
with myself knowin' that
479
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,280
my baby was out there
bein' raised without me.
480
00:20:09,366 --> 00:20:12,096
When I have a kid,
I wanna be there for it.
481
00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:14,253
I wanna see him
take his first step.
482
00:20:14,283 --> 00:20:16,383
Get his first gold tooth.
483
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,300
His first Jerry curl.
484
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:21,173
When I have a baby..
485
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,500
...I wanna be more
than just a father.
486
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:25,380
I wanna be a parent.
487
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,220
Oh, Shawn. I knew
I picked a good
man.
488
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:30,280
It's a damn shame
you're too good.
489
00:20:31,366 --> 00:20:33,366
Sorry, I wasted your eggs.
490
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,660
Oh, well.
491
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,300
Well, we have the
rest
of the night.
492
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,373
Let's say, you and I get changed
493
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,170
and we go check out Paris.
494
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,000
- I bet.
- Alright, cool.
495
00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:43,120
- Now, Sasha.
- Hmm-mm.
496
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:45,150
Straight up now. Tell me.
497
00:20:45,183 --> 00:20:47,663
You sure you don't
wanna have amenage.
498
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,220
- No.
- Alright. Oh!
499
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,370
[instrumental music]
500
00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:58,333
Don't worry, son.
You did the right thing.
501
00:20:58,660 --> 00:21:00,170
I know, pop,
but I still miss Sasha.
502
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,200
I mean, I-I thought
we had somethin' special.
503
00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:05,133
Well, it wouldn't be right if
you weren't around for your
kid.
504
00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:08,196
I can't imagine not being there
to see you and Marlon grow up.
505
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:10,333
Yeah, we may not be famous
506
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:11,180
but at least
we got each other,
right?
507
00:21:11,216 --> 00:21:12,376
- 'Right.'
- You know what I'm sayin'.
508
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:16,200
- Guys.
- Hmm.
509
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,663
Says here that Sasha is offering
510
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:20,120
five million dollars
to the perfect donor
511
00:21:20,150 --> 00:21:22,250
to father her child.
512
00:21:22,283 --> 00:21:25,163
(both)
Five million dollars?
513
00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:27,346
[instrumental music]
514
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:39,120
Perfect!
515
00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:43,116
- Alright. Okay.
- I dance like a filler
too.
516
00:21:45,366 --> 00:21:46,996
Do the baseball.
Do the baseball.
517
00:21:47,330 --> 00:21:48,500
The baseball. The baseball.
518
00:21:48,830 --> 00:21:50,830
- Watch this.
- Yeah, baby.
519
00:21:50,116 --> 00:21:52,496
Okay. Alright. Alright.
520
00:21:52,830 --> 00:21:53,220
Do the home run.
Do the home run.
521
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,130
Do the home run. Oh! Wow!
522
00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:57,116
Oh! Ah! Safe!
523
00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,300
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon, say,"Cheese."
38188
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
