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1
00:00:01,250 --> 00:00:03,830
- Hm.
- Yeah.
2
00:00:03,116 --> 00:00:04,196
That "Family Battle"
3
00:00:04,233 --> 00:00:07,273
they have the hottest
trivia questions.
4
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:10,180
I've been looking at this
show
since I was a little girl.
5
00:00:10,216 --> 00:00:14,166
That Dick Ferndale,
he has not aged a day.
6
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,330
Hey, girl, what you smokin'?
7
00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:18,200
That man has so many facelifts
8
00:00:18,233 --> 00:00:20,273
he has to
scratch
his butt like
this.
9
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,250
Eww.
10
00:00:23,283 --> 00:00:26,103
Don't mock plastic surgery,
Marlon.
11
00:00:26,133 --> 00:00:27,353
If it weren't for that,
your mama'd still look like
12
00:00:27,383 --> 00:00:29,103
Forest Whitaker.
13
00:00:29,133 --> 00:00:31,203
[laughing]
14
00:00:31,233 --> 00:00:33,103
You know, this used to be our
favorite game show
15
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,283
when we were little, Shawn.
16
00:00:34,316 --> 00:00:36,226
You boys used to send
those cards in every week.
17
00:00:36,266 --> 00:00:39,096
What do you mean "used to,"
I still do.
18
00:00:39,133 --> 00:00:42,663
I hope you put the stamp
on it this time.
19
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:45,500
Hell, I ain't payin' no 25
cents
for some postage.
20
00:00:45,830 --> 00:00:47,220
I just draw it on.
21
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,250
That's why we were never
on the show.
22
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:52,323
And
congratulations
to the Andersons.
23
00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:56,370
Now, let's see
who'll be playing on
Monday.
24
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,130
And it looks like..
25
00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:03,496
'From Cambridge Massachusetts,
the Websters.'
26
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:04,270
'And competing
with the Websters'
27
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,180
'for an all-expense-paid
trip to Hawaii'
28
00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:10,266
and a $20,000 cash prize
29
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:13,150
from right here in New York,
the Williams'.
30
00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:16,253
Wait, that's us!
That's us!
31
00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:19,223
Mira, we're gonna be
on the show.
32
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:21,150
We're gonna be
on the show, Mira.
33
00:01:21,183 --> 00:01:22,383
Thank you, sisters.
34
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,120
We're goin' on the show.
35
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:26,320
Bruce Lee,
we're goin' on the
show.
36
00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:28,380
Marlon, stop it.
You sound ignorant,
man.
37
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,370
There is about 10,000 people
named Williams in New York
City.
38
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,000
I mean how do you know
that that's us?
39
00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:36,200
And it looks like
they drew the stamp
40
00:01:36,233 --> 00:01:38,333
on their post cover.
41
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:40,660
That's us! That's us!
We won, we won.
42
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,270
We're goin' on the show.
43
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,370
Mira, we're goin' on the show.
44
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,330
We're goin' on the show.
45
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:47,276
[theme song]
46
00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:50,270
♪ We're brothers ♪
47
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:52,660
♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪
48
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:55,660
♪ And we're colored ♪
49
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,130
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
50
00:01:57,166 --> 00:01:59,996
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.
Beautiful, guys.'
51
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:01,280
'Dynamite.'
52
00:02:01,316 --> 00:02:04,296
[theme song]
53
00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:34,303
Yo, what you doing, Marlon, man?
54
00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,663
You're supposed
to be practicing for the
show.
55
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:39,270
I am practicing.
Here, watch this.
56
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:42,270
We won!
We won!
57
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:45,350
We won!
We won! Whoo!
58
00:02:45,383 --> 00:02:47,373
Praise the Lord.
59
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:52,366
- Get up, Kirk Franklin.
- What?
60
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,330
Marlon, man,
you're supposed to be
studying.
61
00:02:54,366 --> 00:02:58,216
Shawn, relax, man. I got
this
all under control, baby.
62
00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,180
Trust me,
this is gonna be dope,
son.
63
00:03:00,216 --> 00:03:02,826
Our family's gonna be on TV.
64
00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:03,226
You know, I hate
to tell you this
65
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,126
but this show ask really
hard questions, Marlon.
66
00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:06,196
I'm telling you,
I hope you're ready.
67
00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:07,373
Shawn, I got it under control.
68
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,270
Go ahead, quiz me.
Ask me anything, baby,
anything.
69
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:13,200
Ask me
what's the capital of Detroit?
70
00:03:13,233 --> 00:03:16,173
Marlon,
Detroit's not even a state.
71
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,350
What?
72
00:03:18,383 --> 00:03:21,173
When did they change that?
73
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,370
Man, them Australians
be tripping.
74
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,350
[doorbell ringing]
75
00:03:26,383 --> 00:03:28,233
Hey, hey, hey, stop knocking
76
00:03:28,266 --> 00:03:32,826
like you're trick-or-treating.
77
00:03:32,116 --> 00:03:33,376
- Oh, hi!
- Hey!
78
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,250
It's practice time.
79
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,323
Hey, hey, Dee,
Fred Flintstone
called.
80
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,370
- He wants his shirt back.
- Shut up.
81
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,100
It's practice time
82
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,663
with the home
version
of "Family Battle."
83
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,200
- Oh, yeah, baby.
- Alright.
84
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:47,503
I'm gonna host.
I'm gonna get you all ready
now.
85
00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:48,120
And I brought some snacks,
who wants
86
00:03:48,150 --> 00:03:50,330
some hog head cheese
and crackers?
87
00:03:50,366 --> 00:03:54,826
Urgh, Pop. Come on,
that meat smell like
burp.
88
00:03:54,116 --> 00:03:55,316
Okay!
89
00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:58,120
Now, these are the same kind
of questions
90
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,300
that they ask you
on the TV show.
91
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:03,183
- Right, right.
- Okay, the first question.
92
00:04:03,216 --> 00:04:06,116
The first question
is a biology..
93
00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:07,350
Shut up.
94
00:04:07,383 --> 00:04:10,133
It's a biology question.
95
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,296
What are nipples, Alex?
96
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,333
Marlon, will you stop
playin' around, man?
97
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:18,000
- What? That's biology.
- Stop.
98
00:04:18,330 --> 00:04:20,180
It's.. Okay. Alright.
99
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:23,276
"What is the chemical symbol
100
00:04:23,316 --> 00:04:26,326
for carbon dioxide?"
101
00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:28,200
C3PO.
102
00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:30,333
Marlon, that's a character
in "Star Wars."
103
00:04:30,366 --> 00:04:33,156
The answer is CO2.
104
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,000
- Hmm!
- Yeah!
105
00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:37,200
- Ten points for Shawn.
- Thank you kindly.
106
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,103
Alright.
107
00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:43,160
Okay.
108
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,150
"This 16th century artist
was responsible
109
00:04:46,183 --> 00:04:49,003
for The Pieta
in St. Peters Basilica."
110
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:52,150
Ooh. Who's the artist
formerly known as Prince?
111
00:04:52,183 --> 00:04:54,163
[laughing]
112
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,380
Come on, pop, don't
encourage
his ignorance, man.
113
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,160
- What?
- No, Marlon, it's
Michelangelo.
114
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,330
Michelangelo?
Hey, is he related to
D'Angelo?
115
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:06,253
And are you related to Corky?
116
00:05:06,283 --> 00:05:07,353
No.
117
00:05:07,383 --> 00:05:10,333
Look, Marlon, will you
at least try, man?
118
00:05:10,366 --> 00:05:12,656
Shawn, I am tryin'.
119
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:14,200
Alright, look,
why don't you ask the
questions?
120
00:05:14,233 --> 00:05:15,353
That way it'll make you
learn somethin'.
121
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:18,153
- Okay, genius.
- Thank you. Alright, you do
it.
122
00:05:18,183 --> 00:05:20,103
- You just read them.
- Alright.
123
00:05:20,133 --> 00:05:22,383
Hey, you know,
Dee made that seat real warm
124
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,170
with all that booty on it.
125
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,280
Alright. Let's get here.
126
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,250
"What is the first movie
127
00:05:30,283 --> 00:05:33,253
to win an Academy Award
for best picture?"
128
00:05:33,283 --> 00:05:36,133
Uh, "Wings."
129
00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:39,316
You are correct.
Pretty good, bustosaurus.
130
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,370
Okay, this one
might be a toughie.
131
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,250
"What is the capital
132
00:05:46,283 --> 00:05:49,173
of Uru-guay?"
133
00:05:51,283 --> 00:05:53,273
It's pronounced Uruguay.
134
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,320
And the capital
is Montevideo.
135
00:05:56,350 --> 00:05:58,230
- 'Whoa, right again.'
- Okay.
136
00:05:58,266 --> 00:06:01,166
Alright, now, uh,
check this out.
137
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,180
"Who said "I shall return?"
138
00:06:03,216 --> 00:06:06,346
And I give you a hint.
It's not Vanilla Ice
139
00:06:06,383 --> 00:06:11,103
Hmm...General Douglas MacArthur.
140
00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:14,383
Right again. Dag, Dee.
You're pretty smart.
141
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,180
You must have sat next
to a Korean girl in school,
huh?
142
00:06:17,216 --> 00:06:19,326
[instrumental music]
143
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,280
Yo, pop, man, what we gonna do
about Marlon, man?
144
00:06:21,316 --> 00:06:24,376
He hasn't gotten one
answer
right all week.
145
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,500
Well, it's not his fault, son.
146
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:28,370
Your mama couldn't say no
to the mikelo
147
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,830
when she was pregnant.
148
00:06:31,116 --> 00:06:33,496
I don't know, pop,
I just don't want nothin'
149
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:34,180
to get in the way
of this trip, you know.
150
00:06:34,216 --> 00:06:36,156
I really wanna win.
151
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,380
I mean think about it, with
all the money we're gonna make
152
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:43,230
you can get yourself a brand
new
purple corduroy sweatsuit.
153
00:06:43,266 --> 00:06:46,346
But what's more important,
Shawn, Marlon's feelings
154
00:06:46,383 --> 00:06:51,253
or beautiful purple
corduroy sweatsuit?
155
00:06:51,283 --> 00:06:54,123
You're right.
He's out, but you tell him.
156
00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:55,230
Why do I gotta tell him?
157
00:06:55,266 --> 00:06:56,996
I'm just his brother,
you're his father.
158
00:06:57,330 --> 00:07:00,660
Well, I don't know that
for sure.
159
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,320
Wait a minute,
if we dump Marlon
160
00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:03,320
who're we gonna get
to replace him?
161
00:07:03,350 --> 00:07:06,130
I don't know, anybody.
Why don't you get Cousin Buford?
162
00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:08,096
Oh, no, no, no, not Buford.
163
00:07:08,133 --> 00:07:09,383
Methadone make him too sleepy.
164
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,150
Hey...he'd still be sharper
than Marlon.
165
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:16,163
I know who we can get. Dee.
She's very smart.
166
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,250
Uh, that's a good idea.
167
00:07:17,283 --> 00:07:19,173
Only thing is Dee's not family.
168
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,100
In God's eyes
169
00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:24,183
we're all brothers and
sisters
under the sun.
170
00:07:24,216 --> 00:07:27,496
- Preach on, Pops.
- Hey, what's up, family?
171
00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:29,830
- Hey, what up?
- Shawn, I gotta tell you,
man.
172
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,246
I had my face buried all
up
in these books.
173
00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:33,003
Were you studying?
174
00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:36,160
Hell, no, I fell asleep,
took a nap on 'em.
175
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:38,220
It make pretty good pillows.
176
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,220
Hey, look, Marl, um, about our
appearance on "Family Battle"
177
00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:43,100
uh, me and Pops'
have been talkin'.
178
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:45,323
Hm, whatever he says
is his idea.
179
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:48,150
Um, the thing is, uh, see
180
00:07:48,183 --> 00:07:49,383
we-we all have
our specialties, right?
181
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:54,200
I mean, you're really good
at hip hop and cartoons and..
182
00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:55,323
...pop, help me out.
183
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:58,150
- Hm-hm, cartoons.
- And cartoons, right?
184
00:07:58,183 --> 00:08:00,153
Uh, what's your point, Shawn?
185
00:08:00,183 --> 00:08:03,303
The point is this show doesn't
ask that kinda question.
186
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:06,253
You know, this show is really
more like a academic kinda
show.
187
00:08:06,283 --> 00:08:08,503
Right, right, right.
188
00:08:08,830 --> 00:08:09,280
Now, goin' to Hawaii
can be a whole lot of fun
189
00:08:09,316 --> 00:08:11,346
and everything.
It'll be mad fun
190
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:13,173
but, uh, the only thing
is the only way
191
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,320
we're gonna get there
is if, um..
192
00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:19,150
...you don't play with us.
193
00:08:19,183 --> 00:08:21,273
So what are you sayin'?
194
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:25,200
Well, I'm sayin' that, um,
we would have a better chance
195
00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:28,353
of winning if we took
somebody else along.
196
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,660
Meaning?
197
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:36,230
Meaning that this show usually
has, like, smarter people on it
198
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,276
and so you-you're not comin'.
199
00:08:39,316 --> 00:08:42,326
- So in other words--
- What? Are you this stupid?
200
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:45,330
We don't want you to come!
You'll ruin it.
201
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,500
Well, even I filled
out
the application.
202
00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:49,330
Mostly that-that's why we,
that's why, you know
203
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:53,000
it' like we-we, like,
be cutting you in.
204
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:56,160
You know,
but we-we kickin' you out.
205
00:08:58,266 --> 00:09:01,176
Don't worry about the trip, son.
You're going to Hawaii with us.
206
00:09:01,216 --> 00:09:03,366
And you're gonna get
your full share of that
paper.
207
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000
Shawn, explain it to him.
208
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:06,280
Yeah, Marlon, think about it.
209
00:09:06,316 --> 00:09:09,366
It's like you're gonna
get paid anyway..
210
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,330
...to not be good.
211
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:12,370
You'll be like the Spice Girls.
212
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,160
You ain't mad, are you?
213
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,350
- What?
- You're not mad, are you?
214
00:09:19,383 --> 00:09:21,333
No, I'm-I'm not mad.
215
00:09:21,366 --> 00:09:23,226
It just threw me off
a little bit.
216
00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:26,826
You know, I'm-I'm cool.
I, tell you what..
217
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,246
I was comin' over here
to tell y'all
218
00:09:27,283 --> 00:09:29,383
that I-I wasn't going
to able to-to do it.
219
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,180
- Really?
- Yeah, man.
220
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:34,376
I talked to my agent. He said
it was a bad idea, you know.
221
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,200
- There's too much exposure..
- Right, right, right.
222
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,383
Well, that's a pretty smart
move
on your behalf, man.
223
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,230
Hey, well, so all good.
224
00:09:41,266 --> 00:09:43,126
Damn, I knew we could count
on you, son.
225
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,496
Hey, you know, hey, one for
all
all for one, right, pop?
226
00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:47,330
Alright, pop, come on,
we gotta lot of studyin' to
do.
227
00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:50,376
Yeah. All for one
and one for all.
228
00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:59,663
[instrumental music]
229
00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:07,296
I just wanna..
230
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:11,663
...thank you for asking me
to replace Marlon.
231
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,270
Oh, no problem, Cousin Dee.
232
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,320
Oh, that's right, Cousin Dee.
I'm that, yeah.
233
00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:19,100
Now when we win, you get
one-fourth of the prize money.
234
00:10:19,133 --> 00:10:23,103
Your cut is gonna be $5,000.
235
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:25,163
Five thousand dollars!
236
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,320
That's more money than I have
ever had at one time in my
life.
237
00:10:29,350 --> 00:10:31,250
Oh, I don't know
how to repay you.
238
00:10:31,283 --> 00:10:33,163
Ooh,
239
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,120
You can repay me by lettin'
me
outta this bear hug.
240
00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:37,280
Oh, okay, sorry.
I'm sorry.
241
00:10:37,316 --> 00:10:41,116
Shawn, look. Look at that
table,
it's full of food.
242
00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:42,280
Pop, didn't you just
have enough of those
243
00:10:42,316 --> 00:10:44,826
burp sandwiches at the house?
244
00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:46,096
Hm, I'm not gonna eat 'em,
I'mma take it to the diner
245
00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:48,103
and sell it tomorrow.
246
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,350
Hey, peace out.
247
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:57,200
Marlon, what's wrong?
248
00:10:57,233 --> 00:11:00,173
Oh, listen,
by the end of the
show
249
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,000
you can be $5,000 richer.
250
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,350
I don't care
about that money, Dee.
251
00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:07,333
Ever since I was a kid
I just wanted to be on TV
252
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:08,250
with my family.
253
00:11:08,283 --> 00:11:12,173
Oh, must really hurt
you
not to go on, huh?
254
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,830
Uh, why didn't you
say
somethin' earlier?
255
00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:16,296
Oh, well, I was just tryin'
to do what was right for them.
256
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:19,133
Guess I didn't do
what was right for me.
257
00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:21,126
Oh, well.
258
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,220
Wish us luck.
259
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:29,120
Hey, hold on, I just gave
you my best sad story
260
00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:31,230
in my best puppy dog eyes
and you just tell me
261
00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:33,216
wish 'em luck and you still
gonna do the show?
262
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:37,100
I got my hair
done.
I'mma be on TV.
263
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:39,663
Okay. This house
gonna go down..
264
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:42,280
Alright, Pops, you
focus
on sports and history.
265
00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:44,656
Dee, you got..
266
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:47,830
Move, man, get outta here.
267
00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:50,496
Okay, Dee,
you got politics and
science.
268
00:11:50,830 --> 00:11:52,380
I got..
Marlon, come on, man.
269
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,330
(Pops)
We got two-two minutes.
270
00:11:54,366 --> 00:11:56,196
I'mma take care
of everything else,
okay?
271
00:11:56,233 --> 00:11:58,103
- Okay.
- Okay? Alright.
272
00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:00,163
- One, two..
- Alright, yes.
273
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,830
Two, three. Yeah!
274
00:12:02,116 --> 00:12:06,156
Now, let's go kick
some nerd ass.
275
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:07,230
Oh, yes, pop.
276
00:12:07,266 --> 00:12:09,216
Tee-tee-tee!
277
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,170
Excuse me.
Sir, sir, are you on the
show?
278
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,000
- Uh-huh.
- Give me that.
279
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,250
(Dee)
'Oh.'
280
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,000
Oh, you know, guys, I..
281
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,120
Guys, I-I-I don't know
what happened
282
00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:29,100
all of a sudden, my stomach
feels kinda funny.
283
00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:32,303
What's the matter,
Dee?
You got your friend?
284
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:35,333
Um, I think I'm gettin' sick.
285
00:12:35,366 --> 00:12:37,166
- 'What?'
- I can't go on.
286
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,180
[grunting]
287
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:42,273
Hi, Williams family,
what's wrong with her?
288
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,200
Uh, yeah, her
shoes
were too tight.
289
00:12:44,233 --> 00:12:46,003
It was scraping up
against her bunion.
290
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,280
Well, I guess
if there's only two of you
here
291
00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:49,196
we'll have to go
with our backup family.
292
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:52,663
No, no, wait a minute, we have
another family member close by.
293
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,370
Well, that's good because
we're on in two and two.
294
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,660
Sir, you're cutting off
my circulation.
295
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,230
There's a good fella.
Powder me please.
296
00:12:59,266 --> 00:13:02,116
Uh, hey, hey, hey, Marlon.
Hey, guess what, baby boy?
297
00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:03,250
- What?
- Ha ha.
298
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,353
Yo, Dee just got sick
and we need you man.
299
00:13:05,383 --> 00:13:07,003
We need you on our team.
300
00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:09,100
- Really?
- Yeah.
301
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:10,273
[chuckling]
302
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:13,250
- So, now you need me, huh?
- Yeah.
303
00:13:13,283 --> 00:13:15,223
[giggling]
304
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:26,160
Now, I have demands, peasants.
305
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,100
Oh, really?
306
00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:29,333
Pop, what's Cousin
Buford's
number?
307
00:13:29,366 --> 00:13:32,146
Uh, well, my demands can wait.
308
00:13:32,183 --> 00:13:33,253
Guys, I will not let you down.
309
00:13:33,283 --> 00:13:35,163
I know you
won't.
You know why?
310
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,220
'Cause you're not
gonna say nothin'.
311
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,150
What do you mean?
I thought we was a team.
312
00:13:39,183 --> 00:13:42,163
Yes, we are a team. And I
want
you to look at it this way.
313
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,120
If we were the Jacksons
314
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:47,120
you would be Rebbie.
315
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:51,660
Rebbie?
Shawn, Rebbie ain't do
nothin'.
316
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:54,180
Ha-ha, now you catchin' on, bro.
317
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,230
[instrumental music]
318
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:14,320
Welcome to "Family Battle."
I'm your host, Dick Ferndale.
319
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,180
We're here today
with two families
320
00:14:16,216 --> 00:14:17,266
who are ready to duke it out
321
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:21,230
for a trip to Hawaii
and $20,000.
322
00:14:21,266 --> 00:14:24,116
Let's meet the Websters.
323
00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:25,300
Uh, hello, young lady.
324
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:28,173
Hm, charmed. Hello, ma'am.
325
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,500
And, Mr. Webster, tell us
what
do you do for a living,
sir?
326
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,330
Well, I wrote
the pocket sized encyclopedia.
327
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,160
I call it
University In Your Pants.
328
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,230
Hm, quite a person.
329
00:14:37,266 --> 00:14:40,156
Now let's meet
the Williams family.
330
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:45,280
Alright. Frat..
331
00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:49,116
And I am a periodical
distribution engineer.
332
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:51,100
Uh, a paperboy.
333
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:53,203
Well, I'm not a paperboy.
334
00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:55,333
I'm an unemployed actor.
335
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:58,376
And I can play all the
emotions.
Look, this is happy.
336
00:15:00,183 --> 00:15:01,373
Very happy.
337
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,660
This is sad.
338
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,120
Why you wanna
hurt me like that?
339
00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:12,656
And this is mad.
340
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:15,300
No, son, I didn't even know
my father, son.
341
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,833
Yeah, I mean..
342
00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:20,996
And I also, I'm not afraid
to do frontal nudity.
343
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:22,200
- Here you go.
- Hey, hey, hey.
344
00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:24,173
Let's try to avoid that
at all costs.
345
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,150
Okay, here's how we play
our little game.
346
00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:28,663
I'm gonna toss up a question.
347
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,250
The first team to buzz in
gets a chance to answer.
348
00:15:30,283 --> 00:15:32,233
If they're incorrect,
the opposing team
349
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,996
'gets an opportunity.'
350
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:35,300
Each question
is worth 10 points.
351
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:38,283
Whoever reaches a 100 points
first is the winner.
352
00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:40,196
We're gonna kick their ass.
353
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:43,323
Okay. Here's our first question.
354
00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:47,280
"What 1920s event
caused businessmen
355
00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:48,996
to leap to their deaths?"
356
00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,660
[buzzing]
357
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,100
'Williams',
you have five seconds.'
358
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:55,003
Shawn, it's a leap
year.
It's aleap year.
359
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,380
They leap to their deaths.
360
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,000
Get outta here.
Get outta here.
361
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:00,170
Trust me, man.
It's a leap
year.
362
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,380
Get outta here.
363
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,200
Well, I believe the answer
to that question is
364
00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:07,163
the stock market crash
of 1929.
365
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,200
Well, that's 10 points
for the Williams'.
366
00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:10,373
Alright!
367
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,660
Alright,
here's our next toss-up.
368
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:15,330
"The Great Gatsby"
was written by?
369
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:16,150
[buzzing]
370
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:19,003
- F. Scott Fitzgerald.
- 'That is correct.'
371
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:21,330
Hey, wait, wait,
wait,
Hold on.
372
00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:22,280
"The Great Gatsby?"
373
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:26,346
The great gats be
the nine millimeter
374
00:16:26,383 --> 00:16:30,163
the .22 caliber,
and my boy, he had a shotgun
375
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,130
and this gat blew
his whole hand off.
376
00:16:32,166 --> 00:16:35,366
We'll be right back after
these words from our sponsors.
377
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,330
I'm sorry.
I-I don't know..
378
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:43,170
Well, the score now stands
at 90 to 60.
379
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,320
[bell dinging]
380
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:47,120
And that bell means
we're running outta time.
381
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,120
From now on,
every question counts double.
382
00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:52,500
So, Williams, you have a chance
to catch up.
383
00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:54,500
'And, Websters,
you have a chance'
384
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:57,220
to win it all
on this next question.
385
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:01,160
"This synthetic fabric
was created in 1929..
386
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,330
[buzzing]
387
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:03,300
- Polyester.
- That is correct.
388
00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:05,173
[yelling]
389
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,370
See, father? I knew your
tackiness would pay off one
day.
390
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,270
- Thank you kindly.
- Alright.
391
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:13,370
Well, it's hard to believe
that the Williams family
392
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,200
is only 10 points behind.
393
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:17,383
Which means whoever answers
the next question correctly
394
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,130
will win the game and a chance
for the trip to Hawaii.
395
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,146
Here we go.
396
00:17:22,183 --> 00:17:24,183
"What flashy athlete played
397
00:17:24,216 --> 00:17:27,276
for Atlantis football
and baseball teams?"
398
00:17:27,316 --> 00:17:28,996
[buzzing]
399
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:30,380
Yeah, we-we were gonna
with Mr. Bo Jackson.
400
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,120
Oh, I'm sorry,
that is incorrect.
401
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:35,320
- Williams.
- Uh, it's that dude, that
dude.
402
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:37,500
Um, um, with the big ears?
403
00:17:37,830 --> 00:17:40,330
Do you know..
your sister, Jefferson
404
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,280
saw him got busted
the other day for robbing..
405
00:17:41,316 --> 00:17:44,326
(Dick)
'Mr. Williams,
concentrate please.'
406
00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:48,276
We're working on a clock,
not a calendar, Williams.
407
00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:50,346
I got it.
Deion Sanders.
408
00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:52,133
That is correct.
409
00:17:52,166 --> 00:17:54,316
[yelling]
410
00:17:57,366 --> 00:18:01,096
- We won!
- We won! We won! We won!
411
00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:04,103
We won! We won! We won!
412
00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:08,503
We won! Whoo!
413
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:10,500
We won.
414
00:18:11,316 --> 00:18:13,216
We won!
415
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:17,316
We won.
416
00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:20,350
Hey, I'd like to smooze out to
all my people in the projects.
417
00:18:20,383 --> 00:18:22,273
Yo, I'm a little dizzy
right now
418
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:25,280
but my man, T.C., Dupree.
Y'all keep doin' it, baby.
419
00:18:25,316 --> 00:18:27,246
My man, I know
I owe you five dollars
420
00:18:27,283 --> 00:18:29,373
but I'm comin' at you, baby.
I'm comin' at you.
421
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,150
Stop, you're embarrassin' us,
man.
422
00:18:31,183 --> 00:18:32,383
You're embarrassin' us,
get outta here.
423
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,250
Tanya, call me, girl, okay?
424
00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:38,333
And, uh, sorry it didn't
work out for you, Websters
425
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,150
but nobody goes home
empty-handed here
426
00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:41,303
from "Family Battle."
427
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:45,253
Take a big grab
of our bowl full of pennies.
428
00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:48,223
'Help yourselves.'
429
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:51,100
(Pops and Shawn and Marlon)
Oh-h!
430
00:18:52,266 --> 00:18:55,156
(Dick)
'Alright, uh, gentlemen,
uh, gentlemen..'
431
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,230
...congratulations, well,
it looks like you did it.
432
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,496
You won $5,000.
433
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:01,350
Now, you can take that money
or would you rather risk it
434
00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:06,163
on the grand prize,
a trip to Hawaii and $20,000?
435
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,230
- We're gonna go for it.
- 'Wonderful.'
436
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:10,346
That's right, you know what,
we're gonna make it hot.
437
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,833
Now, listen carefully, this is
438
00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:14,246
for all the marbles,
here's the question.
439
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:18,233
"In 1953, "Playboy" magazine
shocked the world
440
00:19:18,266 --> 00:19:22,216
"by publishing
its first nude centerfold.
441
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:25,300
What was the name of the woman
who posed for that picture?"
442
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:27,373
You have 30 seconds.
443
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,300
Well, I'm stumped. I
subscribed
to "Players" magazine.
444
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:33,133
This is so easy,
Shawn,
I know this one.
445
00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:34,296
Trust me, we're all
going
to Hawaii.
446
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:36,173
I know who it is.
It's Marilyn Monroe.
447
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,120
No, man, it's not
Marilyn Monroe, Shawn.
448
00:19:38,150 --> 00:19:40,500
Shawn, trust me,
I know centerfold,
Shawn.
449
00:19:40,830 --> 00:19:41,370
I center my life
around 'em, Shawn.
450
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,380
Trust me,
it was Hugh Hefner's
secretary.
451
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,370
- Janet Pilgrim.
- Yeah, great.
452
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,350
I'm tellin' you,
he was tappin'
that.
453
00:19:48,383 --> 00:19:50,353
Alright, whatever. Everyone
knows that's Marilyn Monroe.
454
00:19:50,383 --> 00:19:53,663
She hit Kennedy off
the day before and she--
455
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:56,130
Shawn, hey-hey, listen,
it wasnot
Monroe.
456
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:58,376
Shawn, trust me, you said
everybody got their niche.
457
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:00,230
I know booty magazines, okay?
458
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,116
I know them
like the palm of my
hand.
459
00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:04,150
- Eww!
- 'Time's up, Williams.'
460
00:20:04,183 --> 00:20:06,333
For the trip and all that money
461
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:09,160
who was the first
"Playboy" centerfold?
462
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,100
- Trust me.
- I'm with you.
463
00:20:10,133 --> 00:20:12,173
But it is Janet Pilgrim.
464
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,170
Janet Pilgrim. Alright,
Pilgrim like Thanksgiving.
465
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,660
(Dick)
'Gentlemen, please.'
466
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,120
- Alright.
- Janet Pilgrim.
467
00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:20,300
[sighing]
468
00:20:22,283 --> 00:20:26,383
Dick...we're gonna go
with Marilyn Monroe.
469
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,120
Yay! We won, we won.
470
00:20:28,150 --> 00:20:29,380
Well, I am sorry.
471
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,250
I am sorry, Marilyn Monroe
did appear in that issue
472
00:20:33,283 --> 00:20:38,503
but the first centerfold was
Hugh Hefner's secretary..
473
00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:40,250
- Janet Pilgrim.
- 'That is correct.'
474
00:20:40,283 --> 00:20:42,323
'If you'd said that a few
seconds ago, you'd now be'
475
00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:45,500
'on your way to the sunny
shores
of Waikiki beach'
476
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:49,160
but instead you're taking a
smelly cab-ride back to
Harlem.
477
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:52,830
But, hey, nobody leaves
"Family Battle" empty-handed.
478
00:20:52,116 --> 00:20:54,296
Roll out that
fish bowl of pennies.
479
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,353
Congratulations, everyone.
480
00:20:56,383 --> 00:20:58,203
[indistinct]
481
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:00,323
Nobody's lookin' at our,
lookin' at our face.
482
00:21:02,166 --> 00:21:05,126
Uh, tell me about this
big ol' plate of food.
483
00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:08,146
I take it, you're feelin'
a lot better, huh?
484
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,383
Oh, yeah, right.
485
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,660
You know, I think it was one
of those 15 million viruses.
486
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,350
- Yeah, right.
- You look good, Marlon.
487
00:21:16,383 --> 00:21:18,663
Thank you, Dee.
488
00:21:19,183 --> 00:21:22,173
Hey, baby boy,
I owe you an apology, man.
489
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,380
I should have had more faith
in you, kid.
490
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,150
Uh, that's all good, baby.
491
00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:27,003
Hey, just think of it this way
492
00:21:27,330 --> 00:21:28,230
at least we all got to be on TV.
493
00:21:28,266 --> 00:21:29,996
I don't understand you, man.
494
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:31,130
Why're you so cool about this?
495
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,276
I mean, my arrogance blew
the whole trip to Hawaii
496
00:21:33,316 --> 00:21:35,496
and you sittin' here smilin'.
497
00:21:35,830 --> 00:21:36,150
Cuz, you
finally
proved I'm not
498
00:21:36,183 --> 00:21:38,323
the stupidest
one
in the family.
499
00:21:38,350 --> 00:21:40,120
- Hey, boy,
- Sorry about that.
500
00:21:40,150 --> 00:21:42,350
That's alright, stupid.
keep doing your thing.
501
00:21:42,383 --> 00:21:44,103
Oh, damn, man!
502
00:21:44,133 --> 00:21:45,353
If I'd put some honey
on my fingers
503
00:21:45,383 --> 00:21:48,133
when I stuck it in that jar
504
00:21:48,166 --> 00:21:50,196
we'd all be sharin'
a forty right now.
505
00:21:50,233 --> 00:21:52,353
With this, we'll have to get
a little small can
506
00:21:52,383 --> 00:21:54,173
of generic beer.
507
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,170
Just the black
and white can, huh?
508
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,250
- Just say beer.
- Yeah, well, okay.
509
00:22:04,383 --> 00:22:07,003
[yelling]
510
00:22:07,330 --> 00:22:10,170
- We won!
- We won! We won! We won!
511
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,330
We won! We won!
512
00:22:12,366 --> 00:22:15,366
We wo-o-o-o-on!
513
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,830
[screaming]
514
00:22:17,116 --> 00:22:18,246
We won!
515
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,380
(Shawn)Look out, Marlon. Say cheese.
38165
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