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1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:03,183
I've been waitin'
on this day
2
00:00:03,216 --> 00:00:06,216
like broke people
wait on government cheese.
3
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,330
All week long.
4
00:00:12,660 --> 00:00:13,350
As a matter of fact,
I've been savin'
5
00:00:13,383 --> 00:00:16,003
this bottle of wine
for a special occasion.
6
00:00:16,330 --> 00:00:17,330
But since I met you..
7
00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:18,170
[scoffs]
...I don't ever care
8
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,120
if the Knicks win
the championship.
9
00:00:21,150 --> 00:00:23,100
I appreciate that,
but to tell you the
truth
10
00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:25,103
I can't tell the
difference
between the good stuff
11
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:27,503
and the cheap stuff.
12
00:00:27,830 --> 00:00:28,170
Good.
13
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,270
I mean,
this is the good stuff.
14
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:34,370
Now, we got
a little Barry White.
15
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,500
A little candle light.
16
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,300
And hopefully in
a few minutes..
17
00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:41,203
...I'll be holdin'
you tight.
18
00:00:41,233 --> 00:00:43,333
[clapping]
19
00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:44,170
[soft music]
20
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,330
Shawn, you don't
have to play me like
this.
21
00:00:46,366 --> 00:00:49,346
Hey, hey, hey, baby girl.
I ain't playin' you.
22
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,283
I ain't never been more
serious before in my life.
23
00:00:58,233 --> 00:01:01,123
[sniffle
s]
Damn!
24
00:01:01,150 --> 00:01:03,160
What's the scent of that candle?
25
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:04,280
Ass and foot?
26
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:09,216
[clapping]
27
00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:12,220
Can't you see we're busy here?
28
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:14,120
Oh, snap!
29
00:01:14,150 --> 00:01:16,320
You got the clapper?
30
00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:17,330
♪ Clap on ♪
31
00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:19,316
[music continues]
32
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,996
♪ Clap on ♪
33
00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:26,150
[laughing]
Watch this.
34
00:01:27,283 --> 00:01:30,103
[humming]
35
00:01:35,216 --> 00:01:37,246
Watch. Now I'm gonna
portal play.
36
00:01:37,283 --> 00:01:39,163
Oh, yeah.
37
00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:43,826
Come forward.
38
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,000
Vanessa, this is
my
little brother
Marlon.
39
00:01:48,330 --> 00:01:49,320
He's what happened
when Jimmy Walker and Screech
40
00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:51,660
have a love child.
41
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,170
[theme song]
42
00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:55,350
♪ We're brothers ♪
43
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:59,103
♪ We're happy and we're
singing and we're colored ♪
44
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,350
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
45
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,133
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.'
46
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,116
'Beautiful, guys.
Dynamite. That is..'
47
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:07,320
[hip hop music]
48
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:13,150
[hip hop music]
49
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:16,130
Here's to many more
50
00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:19,346
sexy, beautiful,
romantic evenings together.
51
00:02:19,383 --> 00:02:21,153
[screaming]
52
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,353
[laughing]
53
00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:24,123
[clapping]
54
00:02:24,150 --> 00:02:25,330
I-I'm sorry, I went to reach
for the cereal
55
00:02:25,366 --> 00:02:28,096
and I got bit by a roach.
56
00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:29,283
But y'all do your thing.
57
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,176
♪ Clap on ♪
58
00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:34,296
Clap on.
59
00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,303
Y'all got roaches?
60
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,130
Just five.
61
00:02:40,266 --> 00:02:42,176
Look, Shawn,
it's not the roaches.
62
00:02:42,216 --> 00:02:44,116
This evenin' is
just not
happenin'.
63
00:02:44,150 --> 00:02:46,150
And I got to get
up
early in the
mornin'.
64
00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:47,283
So, I-I'll see you later.
65
00:02:47,316 --> 00:02:49,346
Wait, hold up.
Hey, come on, girl.
66
00:02:49,383 --> 00:02:51,163
How you gonna be
from the projects
67
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:52,370
and be scared of roaches?
68
00:02:56,366 --> 00:02:57,366
Damn.
69
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,330
Sorry you got shot down, kid.
70
00:02:59,366 --> 00:03:01,376
Bow bow bow bow.
71
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,160
Don't apologize.
I ain't get shot.
72
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,300
All I need is some
flowers and some candy
73
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:09,163
and a phone call
and I'm back in the
game.
74
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:10,170
Hey, lookie here.
75
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,380
I ain't no
"Physco Proctologist."
76
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,500
But not like that.
77
00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:16,200
I think you're readin'
that girl all wrong.
78
00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:18,163
I think you was
comin' on just a little bit
79
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,250
too strong for
your first date, kid.
80
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,003
Excuse me.
81
00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:25,280
- You're giving me advice?
- Hey, lookie here.
82
00:03:25,316 --> 00:03:28,296
I'm an expert
on first dates, alright?
83
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,383
It's just the second dates
that I have lot of trouble
with.
84
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,200
Well, when I need some
advice on blow up
dolls..
85
00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:36,383
...I'll give you a call.
86
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:41,250
A blow up doll's
a very tricky creature.
87
00:03:41,283 --> 00:03:44,323
See the key to a good
air companion..
88
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:46,000
...is air pressure.
89
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:47,220
Ya ain't never read that book?
90
00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:50,280
"Men are from Mars
Blow up dolls are from Venus."
91
00:03:50,316 --> 00:03:52,146
Very interestin' book.
92
00:03:52,183 --> 00:03:53,383
[hip hop music]
93
00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,200
- Oh!
- Hey, Dee.
94
00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,833
Great, fine, perfect.
95
00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:02,333
What is wrong with you? I
didn't
even ask you how you were.
96
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,250
Oh! I'm sorry.
97
00:04:04,283 --> 00:04:07,123
Guess I'm kind of
in another world
lately.
98
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:10,120
What is it, Dee?
Man trouble again?
99
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:12,270
Why you always think
it's man trouble?
100
00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:14,180
Just 'cause I'm 38, never go out
101
00:04:14,216 --> 00:04:17,196
and still live
at home with my mother?
102
00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:18,283
Yeah, it gotta be tough.
103
00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:19,366
Your mama get more
action than you.
104
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,200
Oh!
105
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,270
Look, if you really
want to know.
106
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:30,230
It's my 20th
high school reunion.
107
00:04:30,266 --> 00:04:32,376
And I'm not so
sure
I wanna go.
108
00:04:33,216 --> 00:04:34,196
Mm-hmm.
109
00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:36,383
Is it because
you're a rent-a-cop?
110
00:04:37,366 --> 00:04:39,656
No, it's not that.
111
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,380
Oh, I know what it
is.
It's your car.
112
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,830
Uh, Pops,
it is not my job.
113
00:04:44,116 --> 00:04:45,266
It's not my car.
114
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:49,150
It's just...I don't feel
good about myself.
115
00:04:49,183 --> 00:04:52,233
Dee, you're sweet,
sensitive and strong.
116
00:04:52,266 --> 00:04:55,316
You just described
George Foreman.
117
00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:59,300
Well, I'm not gonna go unless
I can lose some weight.
118
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,223
- You wanna lose some weight?
- Shh!
119
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:05,120
Go watch your business.
120
00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:07,150
Forget all of
this.
Shoot.
121
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:09,203
I'll put you on my
weight-loss program.
122
00:05:09,233 --> 00:05:11,833
You go put on some-some
gym clothes
123
00:05:11,116 --> 00:05:13,146
and let me start you up
with one of my special
124
00:05:13,183 --> 00:05:15,103
never-fail-diet milkshakes.
125
00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:18,003
Ah, Pops, those things don't..
126
00:05:19,266 --> 00:05:22,496
What'd you say, milkshakes?
127
00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:24,220
I sure did, and when
we're finished with you
128
00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,660
men are gonna be throwing
their phone numbers at you
129
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,220
and some freaky ladies too.
130
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:30,370
[laughing]
Oh, stop it.
You're
crazy.
131
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,370
Okay, Pops, if
you're
serious...I'm in.
132
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,330
I'm really psyched
up
about this.
133
00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:39,280
I'm gonna put on
my bicycle pants.
134
00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:43,226
And I'm gonna go
poke my eyes out.
135
00:05:43,266 --> 00:05:46,246
[hip hop music]
136
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:51,296
Hello again.
137
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:55,503
Hey-hey!
Hey, how you doin' again?
138
00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:56,250
Oh, uh,
Shawn'll be right back.
139
00:05:56,283 --> 00:05:58,173
He just went to the hospital
to get some ointment
140
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,330
for his lesions.
141
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,330
But don't worry.
They're clearin' up.
142
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,150
- Uh..
- No! Joking with you.
143
00:06:05,183 --> 00:06:06,323
[both laughing]
144
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:08,230
Got you.
145
00:06:08,266 --> 00:06:09,366
I was joking.
He'll be right back.
146
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,130
Want some gum?
It's free.
147
00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:12,296
Aren't you gonna
get in trouble for
that?
148
00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:15,373
No, I take stuff
all the time.
149
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,130
Shawn pays for it.
150
00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:19,346
Take some candy.
151
00:06:19,383 --> 00:06:22,303
- A booty magazine.
- Ah, no, no.
152
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:24,253
And a super comb.
153
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:27,203
Lift that little portion up and
get all that ketchup back there.
154
00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:29,123
Awesome.
155
00:06:29,150 --> 00:06:31,500
Girl, you comb your hair,
sound like you chewin' apples.
156
00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:33,500
[crunching]
157
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:37,660
You're wrong, you're
wrong.
You're crazy.
158
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,150
(Marlon)
Here, now.
Let me comb that.
159
00:06:39,183 --> 00:06:41,663
Hey, hey, hey!
What's up, Vanessa?
160
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,150
Oh, hey-hey, Shawn.
161
00:06:43,183 --> 00:06:44,333
- Oh!
- You go, girl.
162
00:06:44,366 --> 00:06:48,116
Thank you for the rose
and the candy you sent me.
163
00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:49,250
I think it was sweet.
164
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:51,153
Yeah, just like you, girl.
165
00:06:52,366 --> 00:06:55,156
I figure since our first
date
got cut a little short
166
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,000
that I'd make it
up by, you know..
167
00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:59,130
...gonna get little
somethin' to nibble
on.
168
00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:01,276
- You mean dinner?
- Heh, yeah, that too.
169
00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:06,503
- See you tomorrow night.
- Tomorrow night.
170
00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:08,130
Hey, girl, don't forget
your booty magazine.
171
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,326
- Oh, no. You keep that.
- Alright, I'm gonna need
it.
172
00:07:10,366 --> 00:07:12,826
Yeah.
173
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:17,500
- Yo, kid, she's bad.
- That's a dime piece, kid.
174
00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,220
On the real, son.
175
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:22,130
Think she was givin' me
a little bit of rhythm too.
176
00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:25,226
And the tune is,
"Hit The Road,
Jack."
177
00:07:26,216 --> 00:07:27,346
Look here,
I'm tellin' you
178
00:07:27,383 --> 00:07:31,133
that kinda girl likes a man
that can make her laugh.
179
00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:33,826
Good, then all you have to
do
is get undressed.
180
00:07:33,116 --> 00:07:34,266
Ha ha ha.
181
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,100
A'ight, you could try all that
182
00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:38,663
Billy Dee Williams stuff
if you want.
183
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:41,170
I'm tellin' you,
I just...think she..
184
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,220
...is the kinda girl likes a
guy
with a sense of humor.
185
00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:46,150
Well, look here, Slim Carrey.
186
00:07:46,183 --> 00:07:48,353
Jokes may work for you
but while you're sittin'
there
187
00:07:48,383 --> 00:07:50,283
playin' with your
little whoopee
cushions
188
00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:52,316
and choking your
little rubber
chicken..
189
00:07:52,350 --> 00:07:54,830
...I'll be knocking some boots.
190
00:07:54,116 --> 00:07:55,176
You hear?
191
00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:57,246
Well, I'll be right
in the closet, listenin'.
192
00:07:57,283 --> 00:07:59,003
[hip hop music]
193
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:02,160
Well, kid, look at
you,
lookin' all GQ.
194
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,150
Damn!
Eh, this suit is
fly, kid.
195
00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:06,233
What's this Giorgio Armenian?
196
00:08:09,383 --> 00:08:11,133
It's Armani
and don't touch it.
197
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:12,196
It's goin' back tomorrow.
198
00:08:12,233 --> 00:08:14,153
Oh, you
better
tuck the tag
in.
199
00:08:14,183 --> 00:08:17,663
- Oh, good lookin' now, G.
- You got it, baby.
200
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,330
- Hey, Dee.
- 'Hey, Pops.'
201
00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:24,250
- What's up, Pops?
- Hey.
202
00:08:24,283 --> 00:08:28,303
Hey, Dee, what you doing
over here all...wet and
sweaty?
203
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:31,373
Dyin'.
Your father's tryin' to kill
me.
204
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,330
No, no, no. Dee and I
are doin' a little road
work.
205
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:35,280
No, I'm doin'
the road work.
206
00:08:35,316 --> 00:08:37,316
You just driving behind me
in your car
207
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:41,120
playing that stupid
"Rocky" music.
208
00:08:41,150 --> 00:08:42,280
I'm trying to motivate you.
209
00:08:42,316 --> 00:08:46,116
Hey, chasing me at 35 miles
an hour was doing that.
210
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,330
Don't mind her, boy,
she's a little grumpy
211
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:50,660
because she hasn't had
a doughnut in three days.
212
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:53,130
Well, Dee, I'mma tell you right
now, I could see the difference.
213
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,216
You're gonna be a slam dunker
at that thing tomorrow.
214
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,270
Oh, thank you.
215
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,370
You're lookin' mighty
sweet yourself, Shawn.
216
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,000
- Hey, girl, you know.
- Hey-hey!
217
00:09:02,330 --> 00:09:05,370
You remind me of Big Hunk and
Mr. Goodbar rolled into one.
218
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,250
Yeah, you know.
219
00:09:08,283 --> 00:09:10,503
Chocolate.
220
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:13,226
Peanuts.
221
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:16,370
Caramel.
222
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,500
Come on, Dee,
we got four more miles to go.
223
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:21,320
I'll give you one of my
special
shakes when you finish.
224
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:23,250
Now, I want you to go
get a head start..
225
00:09:23,283 --> 00:09:25,173
...because my brakes are bad.
226
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,226
Shawn, come here.
227
00:09:29,266 --> 00:09:31,176
I brought you that
Tail of the Lobster
228
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:32,366
uh, coupon for your date.
229
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,000
Now, see what you do
230
00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:35,280
you wrap it in a dollar..
231
00:09:35,316 --> 00:09:37,176
...and you hand it to the
waiter
just like that, see.
232
00:09:37,216 --> 00:09:40,656
That way she'll never know
y'all eating two for one.
233
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,280
[laughing]
234
00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:44,146
No, no, no, pop.
That's tacky.
235
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,353
I ain't goin' out like that.
236
00:09:45,383 --> 00:09:47,333
- Okay.
- But, hey.
237
00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:49,656
Just in case, I did..
238
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,270
...what do I do,
tuck it or roll it?
239
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,500
You roll it.
240
00:09:53,366 --> 00:09:54,346
Oh, no, no, brother, no.
241
00:09:54,383 --> 00:09:56,283
- Not like that?
- Never, never.
242
00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:58,266
Uh, uh, re-really?
243
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:01,276
[telephone ringing]
244
00:10:03,283 --> 00:10:05,253
- Okay.
- Hello.
245
00:10:05,283 --> 00:10:08,133
- Desperate.
- Hey, what's up, Vanessa?
246
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:09,326
How you doin'?
247
00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:12,096
What's going on?
248
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:13,833
Oh!
249
00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:15,146
Your mother got the Ebola virus.
250
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:20,300
Well, that's okay. We'll just
bring her some chicken soup.
251
00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:23,223
Hmm. Oh, I see.
252
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:25,120
No, no, hey-hey,
you know, it's cool.
253
00:10:25,150 --> 00:10:27,830
Hey, look, I ain't
even dressed yet.
254
00:10:27,116 --> 00:10:29,656
Yes, you are.
255
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:31,350
Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
256
00:10:31,383 --> 00:10:33,153
Yeah, alright.
257
00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:34,223
Peace.
258
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:40,223
Bow bow b-bow bow!
259
00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:47,130
Bow. Ha-ha.
260
00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:50,326
Looks like you got
shot down again,
kid.
261
00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:51,370
No, really
though,
I'm sorry, man.
262
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,150
You ain't gotta apologize.
She..
263
00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:56,223
She ain't, she ain't
all that anyway.
264
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,100
Boy, why you tryin' to front?
265
00:10:58,133 --> 00:10:59,153
Moi?
266
00:10:59,183 --> 00:11:00,373
Look, Marlon,
I don't care about her.
267
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,320
She ain't all that anyway.
She's all skinny and ashy.
268
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:05,150
Look like she got
the Ebola virus.
269
00:11:05,183 --> 00:11:06,153
[telephone ringing]
270
00:11:06,183 --> 00:11:08,283
Don't touch it.
It's Vanessa.
271
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:11,153
Hello?
272
00:11:11,183 --> 00:11:12,253
What's up, girl?
273
00:11:12,283 --> 00:11:14,353
See now, see now,
I already made my plans.
274
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:17,153
I changed my plans
already for the night,
girl.
275
00:11:17,183 --> 00:11:18,223
Huh, so you and your mother's
276
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:21,100
gonna have to
quarantine yourself in..
277
00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:22,253
Say what?
278
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,226
Is that right?
279
00:11:26,383 --> 00:11:28,333
Marlon.
280
00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:30,350
It's for you.
281
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,330
For me?
282
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,100
[hip hop music]
283
00:11:38,366 --> 00:11:40,196
[hip hop music]
284
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,163
(Marlon)
Hello?
285
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,120
[whispers]
Hang up the phone. Hang up.
286
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:46,150
'Hey, what's up, Vanessa?'
287
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,303
'Yeah.'
288
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:51,333
I'm sorry to hear about
your mom and the Ebola--
289
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,320
Oh, your mom never
had the Ebola virus.
290
00:11:53,350 --> 00:11:56,220
'Girl, you're crazy.'
291
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:58,500
You know what, girl,
I'm gonna lock you up
292
00:11:58,830 --> 00:11:59,350
like Robert Downey Jr.
293
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,280
What?
294
00:12:03,316 --> 00:12:05,296
You wanna go out with me?
295
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,333
'Uh, hold on.'
296
00:12:07,366 --> 00:12:10,126
Eh, do you hear
heavy breathin'?
297
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:15,220
- 'Shawn.'
- Damn fly.
298
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:17,300
Got him.
299
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:21,323
Tryin' to buzz on
in your conversation.
300
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:24,830
Hello? Yeah.
301
00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:26,226
'What, you-you wanna go out
tomorrow night?'
302
00:12:26,266 --> 00:12:28,326
Okay.
303
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,350
You keep it tight, girl.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
304
00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:33,146
[laughing]
305
00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:35,833
Okay, bye-bye.
306
00:12:35,116 --> 00:12:36,266
Oh, man..
307
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,500
[grunts]
Who was that?
308
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:42,000
Well, you know
exactly
who it was.
309
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:43,370
It was Vanessa.
310
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,270
She wants to go out
with me tomorrow
night.
311
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:49,370
Yo, kid, I can't
believe it.
Whoo-hoo!
312
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,120
I'mma be all over her
like glaze on a
doughnut.
313
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:55,180
All sweet and sticky.
314
00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:58,166
And I'mma dunk all
upon
this coffee here.
315
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,220
When the milk is..
316
00:13:00,383 --> 00:13:03,663
I mean, if
that's
cool with you.
317
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,180
Oh, yes.
It's cool with me.
318
00:13:05,216 --> 00:13:06,326
You mean,
you ain't
jealous?
319
00:13:06,366 --> 00:13:10,246
Come on, man.
Nothin' to be jealous about.
320
00:13:10,283 --> 00:13:12,003
I mean, come on.
321
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:13,380
Eh, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon
322
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,250
my naive little brother.
323
00:13:15,283 --> 00:13:17,833
Don't you see what this is?
324
00:13:17,116 --> 00:13:20,496
Yeah, your girl just
dumped you for me.
325
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:24,316
So young, fragile even.
326
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:27,160
Marlon, let me school you, kid.
327
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,330
- Okay, peep game.
- Alright. Alright.
328
00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:31,826
Vanessa calls me
and dumped me, right?
329
00:13:31,116 --> 00:13:32,216
True, true, true, true.
330
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:34,170
Then she calls back
five minutes later
331
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,280
knowin' I'm here,
to go back out with
you?
332
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,116
Right, right, right.
333
00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:41,133
She is so obvious, man.
334
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:45,126
She's trying to use
you
to get to me.
335
00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:47,826
Negro, what you smokin'?
336
00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:50,233
It's obvious the broad
is into me, Shawn.
337
00:13:50,266 --> 00:13:51,346
Just face it.
338
00:13:51,383 --> 00:13:54,303
You're the loo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ser.
339
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,200
No, I'm not
the loo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ser,
okay.
340
00:14:01,233 --> 00:14:03,253
You got it backwards,
kid,
and I'll prove it.
341
00:14:03,283 --> 00:14:07,663
Tomorrow night, go on out
with little ashy behind
Vanessa.
342
00:14:08,166 --> 00:14:09,346
And I'll go out
with somebody
else.
343
00:14:09,383 --> 00:14:11,373
- We'll do a double-double
date.
- Alright.
344
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,170
That way my date
will be with me.
345
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,130
Vanessa would want
to be with me.
346
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:19,346
And you would want to be me.
347
00:14:19,383 --> 00:14:22,353
Actually it's kinda fun
being me right now.
348
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,123
[hip hop music]
349
00:14:25,266 --> 00:14:27,296
(Marlon)
Say girl, why don't you
come over here
350
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,333
and let me pinch your tail?
351
00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:33,830
'Smack. Lookie here.'
352
00:14:33,116 --> 00:14:34,216
You better watch
who you talkin' to
353
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:37,170
you old fresh mouth
bottom feeder.
354
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,280
That's why you got the crabs.
355
00:14:40,350 --> 00:14:43,500
Marlon, you crack me up.
356
00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:44,250
Don't you mean..
357
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,333
...I crab you up?
358
00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:49,223
Remember where they
come from, girl.
359
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,120
Delightful.
360
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:53,180
Eh, Jacques Cousteau.
361
00:14:53,216 --> 00:14:55,376
You mind giving Allison
back her lobsters.
362
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,380
Thank you, Shawn,
it's so nice to
see
363
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,130
that somebody has manners.
364
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,280
Can I have a different
lobster,
one that hasn't been
365
00:15:03,316 --> 00:15:06,146
molested by your brother?
366
00:15:06,183 --> 00:15:08,353
Oui, oui,mon cheri amour.
367
00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:12,153
Are you bilingual
too, Marlon?
368
00:15:12,183 --> 00:15:15,333
Umm-umm.
I just like
girls.
369
00:15:15,383 --> 00:15:17,833
[hip hop music]
370
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:20,996
Ooh, look at you,
girl.
Legs and everything.
371
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:23,220
And I owe it all to you, Pops.
372
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:25,200
I can fit into my dress.
373
00:15:25,233 --> 00:15:26,303
Dee, I never noticed before
374
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:30,833
but you got some
nice hams on you.
375
00:15:30,116 --> 00:15:31,326
Twenty years ago,
I would have glazed
you
376
00:15:31,366 --> 00:15:34,166
thrown some pineapples on you
and had you for lunch.
377
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,500
I forgot you're kinda
weird, Pops.
378
00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:37,270
Oh, that ain't nothing,
you should see what I do
379
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,320
with pig feet
and some hot sauce.
380
00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:42,176
Come on. Well..
381
00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:45,996
I can't wait to get to my
reunion to see the school yard
382
00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:48,200
and all those
old familiar
faces.
383
00:15:48,233 --> 00:15:50,203
Dee, that's not why
you're going.
384
00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:53,133
You're right,
I can't wait to see those
385
00:15:53,166 --> 00:15:55,176
balding heads and turkey necks
386
00:15:55,216 --> 00:15:58,196
and those cheerleaders
with their saggin' pom-poms.
387
00:15:58,233 --> 00:15:59,373
[laughing]
388
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,160
Well, you go, Dee.
And you rub it in their
faces.
389
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,830
- You worked hard for that
body.
- Yes.
390
00:16:04,116 --> 00:16:06,826
- Disciplined your appetite.
- Absolutely.
391
00:16:06,116 --> 00:16:08,366
- Exercised regularly.
- Now you know that's the
truth.
392
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,200
Practiced good nutritional
habits that'll last a
lifetime.
393
00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:14,133
Alright, yes, that too.
Oh, which reminds me..
394
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:18,350
- Here. See you, Pops.
- What is this?
395
00:16:18,383 --> 00:16:20,323
Six hamburgers,
four Philly cheesesteaks
396
00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:23,170
three orders of chili fries
and two pies?
397
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,220
Yeah, that's my order when
I get back from the reunion.
398
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,250
I am hungry!
Get to cookin'.
399
00:16:29,283 --> 00:16:31,323
[instrumental music]
400
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,300
You know, Allison,
they say oysters are
401
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:38,153
a very powerful aphrodisiac.
402
00:16:38,183 --> 00:16:41,833
Man, Afros is out of style.
403
00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:44,376
Better get yourself
a flat top-o-disiac.
404
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,250
Please, Allison,
don't pay this fool any
mind.
405
00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:50,183
We ain't gonna let anything
spoil our evening together.
406
00:16:50,216 --> 00:16:52,366
Here's a toast to us.
407
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,370
If you're talking to me,
Shawn,
I'm over here.
408
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,660
Oh, I know, I was gonna
bring it back around.
409
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:03,270
Ooh! Ain't nothin' like a
fresh
leg of steno and scrumps.
410
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:07,330
- Scrumps?
- I love me some scrumps.
411
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,330
[imitates Marlon
Brando]
Girl, fried shrimp.
412
00:17:09,366 --> 00:17:12,156
[laughing]
413
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,830
Jumbo shrimps.
414
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,220
Shrimp scampi.
415
00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:19,300
I love me some shrimp scramy.
416
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:22,173
Shrimp scramy.
417
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,250
Marlon, you are so cute.
418
00:17:24,283 --> 00:17:26,233
I could just eat you up.
419
00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:29,326
Well, baby..
420
00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:32,100
...dip me in butter
and come on with it.
421
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,000
Oh, you're pretty.
422
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:38,130
Hey, hey, hey.
423
00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:39,196
[spoons clinking]
424
00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:41,353
Look at me, look at me.
425
00:17:41,383 --> 00:17:44,183
Hercules, Hercules, Hercules.
426
00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:46,276
Hercules, Hercules, Hercules.
427
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:48,326
Hercules.
428
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:49,230
Wait, look, look.
429
00:17:49,266 --> 00:17:51,166
I got some
ghetto lobster earrings.
430
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,300
Okay, I'm uptown.
431
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,183
I'll be uptown
around the way, girl.
432
00:17:55,216 --> 00:17:57,096
I need a girl with extensions
in her hair.
433
00:17:57,133 --> 00:18:00,323
Lobster earrings
at least two pair.
434
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:04,220
Eh, eh, look, look.
Marlon Brando in "Forrest
Gump."
435
00:18:06,366 --> 00:18:09,096
My son, my son.
436
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:11,273
I like scrump.
I like shrimp.
437
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,370
I like ice cream.
I like cake.
438
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,830
Give me all your food
439
00:18:15,116 --> 00:18:16,346
or else you'll sleep
with the fishes.
440
00:18:16,383 --> 00:18:19,223
What the hell are
you
doing, Shawn?
441
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,283
You're makin' a ass
out of yourself
442
00:18:22,316 --> 00:18:23,996
in front of this
whole restaurant.
443
00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:27,200
- God! How embarrassing.
- I know.
444
00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:28,283
Would you excuse me a second?
445
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,656
I need to go use
the ladies room.
446
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,380
Wait, wait,
wait.
Hold up.
447
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,100
Don't forget
your
protecto sheet.
448
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,366
Did they change the location
of the bathroom?
449
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,170
- I don't think so.
- Your date just broke out.
450
00:18:43,283 --> 00:18:46,273
Allison! Allison!
451
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,330
Man! Psst!
452
00:18:48,366 --> 00:18:50,166
I can't
believe
she left me.
453
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,280
Yeah, and that was
our only ride home too.
454
00:18:52,316 --> 00:18:55,656
- Ed Grimley can move, boy.
- Shut up!
455
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,350
Eh! Tattoo.
456
00:18:58,383 --> 00:19:00,153
Can you do me a favor
and catch us a cab?
457
00:19:00,183 --> 00:19:03,303
- Sure.
- The cab, Tattoo. The cab.
458
00:19:05,383 --> 00:19:08,183
There's a little
somethin'
for your trouble.
459
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:13,346
Uh, excuse me...boss.
460
00:19:13,383 --> 00:19:16,333
But I'm gonna have
to charge you full price.
461
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:18,220
This, uh, two for one
coupon expired.
462
00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:20,230
- Hey, shh.
- Coupon?
463
00:19:20,266 --> 00:19:22,366
You gave him a coupon?
464
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,350
Damn, I can't believe I ever
wanted to date you.
465
00:19:24,383 --> 00:19:27,283
- You triflin'!
- Yeah, he triflin'.
466
00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:30,096
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm
triflin'?
- Did I stutter?
467
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:32,383
[stuttering]
Oh-oh, you didn't stutter,
Phony Braxton.
468
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,200
I'll show you triflin'.
469
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,163
I'll show you triflin', okay.
470
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,170
I want half of the money
for the check, okay.
471
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,330
Now you had two lobsters.
472
00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:43,150
You was puttin' away
that, um, coleslaw like it was
473
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,173
school free lunch, right.
474
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,170
Also you..
475
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,380
[hip hop music]
476
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,370
Why you givin' me
the silent treatment, man?
477
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,830
I had the best night of my
life.
What you mad about?
478
00:19:55,116 --> 00:19:58,116
Marlon...I love you.
479
00:19:58,150 --> 00:20:00,220
You're my little brother.
480
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:02,330
But I'm gonna have
to bust your ass.
481
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:03,170
Aah!
482
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,120
[screaming]
483
00:20:06,283 --> 00:20:08,833
No, Shawn.
Wait, Shawn,
please.
484
00:20:08,116 --> 00:20:10,156
Don't hit me. I'm a
bleeder.
I'm a bleeder.
485
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,250
Please, Shawn, look.
486
00:20:11,283 --> 00:20:14,003
You said, it was okay,
Shawn.
Remember?
487
00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:16,660
The double-double date?
488
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,230
- Guess, you're right.
- She sure was a freak though.
489
00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:24,296
- Boy!
- Alright! No, no, no.
490
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:30,160
I acted like a fool.
491
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:32,150
Let my ego get in the way.
492
00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:33,173
You know what it is?
493
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,220
I just couldn't fathom
494
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,220
a girl who'd want to actually
495
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:37,330
go out with you,
instead of me.
496
00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:39,326
I-I..
497
00:20:40,216 --> 00:20:42,496
Look, you don't..
498
00:20:42,830 --> 00:20:43,250
Don't you get it, G?
499
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:46,233
Some girls are gonna go
for a guy who's
unaffected
500
00:20:46,266 --> 00:20:49,216
sincere,
and who acts
stupid?
501
00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:52,183
Yeah, stupid.
502
00:20:52,216 --> 00:20:53,266
And some girls
are gonna go
for
503
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:57,660
that ol' dolemite
game
you got.
504
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:59,330
[laughing]
505
00:20:59,366 --> 00:21:01,366
I gotta give you
your props still, kid.
506
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,660
- You comin' up, G.
- Thanks, G.
507
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,380
Word up. Maybe my Mac
is getting old and tired.
508
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,200
Oh, man, your Mac
ain't getting old.
509
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:10,133
Just didn't work.
510
00:21:10,166 --> 00:21:11,326
But you gotta give
me
my dap, you know
511
00:21:11,366 --> 00:21:13,656
because the little
brother comin' up.
512
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:15,300
You know, gettin' his pimp on.
513
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:18,173
[both mumbling]
514
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,220
Alright.
515
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:21,170
Word up, G, man.
I'm proud of you, man.
516
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,160
You-you won her
fair and square.
517
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:24,330
- Sure did.
- No strings attached.
518
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:28,326
- None at all
- Well, what's the score now?
519
00:21:28,366 --> 00:21:30,346
Shawn 2000, Marlone one.
520
00:21:30,383 --> 00:21:35,123
I'm gainin' on you, bro.
I'm gainin' on you.
521
00:21:35,150 --> 00:21:36,200
- Alright.
- Alright, man.
522
00:21:36,233 --> 00:21:39,283
Hey, two thousand
one and a half.
523
00:21:39,316 --> 00:21:41,326
That little midget.
524
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:43,266
[hip hop music]
525
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,830
[telephone ringing]
526
00:21:47,116 --> 00:21:48,176
Hello?
527
00:21:48,216 --> 00:21:50,216
Hey, what's up, Allison?
528
00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:53,150
Howdy do?
What's going on,
girl?
529
00:21:53,183 --> 00:21:55,353
Hey, I'm glad you called,
'cause
I was just about to call you.
530
00:21:55,383 --> 00:21:58,333
I'm really sorry about dinner.
531
00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:00,330
Yeah, I could..
532
00:22:00,660 --> 00:22:02,230
Say what? Mm-hmm.
533
00:22:02,266 --> 00:22:04,166
Are you sure about that?
534
00:22:06,133 --> 00:22:08,133
[clearing throat]
535
00:22:08,166 --> 00:22:10,216
Marlon, it's you again.
536
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:15,130
I'm on a roll.
537
00:22:15,166 --> 00:22:17,126
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon, say cheese.
37844
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