All language subtitles for The.Wayans.Bros.S02E03_English

Hey, boy. These
magazine racks look
sharp.

Like I always say,
if you want somethin' done
right

you gotta do it yourself.

Well, that explains
your love life.

Nobody try and take credit
for my work.

I did all the painting.

So, I don't care.

I'm the boss,
you're just a loyal employee.

I'm the quarterback,
and you're just the water
boy.

- Yeah, alright.
- I'm Gladys Knight.

And you're the Pip.

You damn right.
Call me Superfly.

[gibberish]

Tricks better have
my money, hear me?

I said the Pip.

Oh.

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪

(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.'

'Beautiful, guys.
Dynamite. That is..'

♪ Girl what you got ♪

♪ Goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you
gonna
like I got something.. ♪

- Good morning.
- Hey, Monique.

What do you think
of our brand new magazine racks?

[chuckles]
Well, they certainly are
bright.

Oh, I know, girl,
I did that on purpose.

See, I read that, uh, bright
colors triggers impulse
buying.

That's
ridiculous.
Oh, Gummy Bears.

That'd be 59 cent.

Oh, Shawn dear, couldn't I pay
you Friday when I get my check?

You do have a layaway
plan,
don't you?

Oh, we have
a wonderful layaway plan.

See, what I'mma do is, lay
these
babies right back in here..

...until you come back here
Friday with your check.

[Marlon gasping]

Yo, check her out, Monique.
Yeah.

You know,
that's either a vampire

or Chinese Patti LaBelle.

Do you know who that is?

I don't know what that is.

(Monique)
'That's Angelique.'

The queen
of the New York art
scene.

Oh, pinch me.

I can die now.

What was that scary creature?
Wasn't she in "Beetlejuice?"

Go ahead, pea-brains,
laugh it up.

But it's arts and culture
that make New York City famous.

Really? I thought
it was our big sewer rats.

Look, there she is
in "Art World"
magazine

standing next to a
painting
she auctioned

for five million dollars.

(both)
Five million dollars?

This-this just looks
like
a-a-a splash of blue
paint.

Yeah, looks like Papa Smurf
threw up on a tablecloth.

Why can't I find
a sucker like that?

Oh, Reggie,
you have to be an
artiste.

I am anartiste.

A conartiste.

I do what I
do,
soup cans.

I do bus transfers.
Anybody goin' uptown?

(Shawn)
'Nah. We cool, relax.'

What are you guys looking at?

Oh, we're looking
at this painting.

Uh, they call this one
"A Study In Brown."

- It sold for over
$1,000,000.
- Wow.

And they say
it's a clash
between

neoclassicalism and surrealism.

Hm, those are some new words.

Yeah.

Lou.

Do you have any idea
why she's here?

Any idea?

I know everything that

goes on in this building.

The freight elevator's
out,
the janitor's

cheating on his wife
and you're gonna
fired

from the card shop if you
don't
quit taking two-hour lunches.

Now, what about Angelique?

She's selling some paintings

to old man Niedermeyer.

Really? I-I hope he buys one
of those black velvet
paintings

with the butt-naked sister
on it, with a big ass Afro.

You there. Stop. Ha.

Oh, the color

the form, the composition.

It is a masterpiece.

She thinks it's art.

Tell me, do you ever experiment
with impressionism?

Oh, you see, I do
a hell of a Sammy Davis Jr.

Call me Mr. Bojangles.

You know, cat,
I got my eye on you.

And I do mean the good one.

[Angelique laughs]

- And so clever too.
- Thank you.

Oh, well.

You have captured the despair
and the degradation

oh, in the tragic emptiness
of our existence.

- Hm?
- Yeah.

[clears throat]
That's exactly
what he was going for.

Please,
say you don't have management.

Well, actually he does, um..

I'm Shawn Williams.
Manager extraordinaire.

Oh, well, really?

Well, how do you define
his voice as an artist?

Well, I kinda like to think
of it as sort of a..

...clash between
neoclassicalism and
surrealism.

Hmm.

But what about the influences

of impressionism
and multiculturalism?

Yeah, what about all that?

Well, see, uh..

...maybe to the untrained eye,
see, that might be what you
see.

But I still see
that the simple clash between

neoclassicalism and surrealism.

Obviously,
you were inspired by
cubism?

Oh, you know,
I love me some Ice Cube.

Ta-da. Ta-da.

Ta-da. Ta-da.

[Angelique laughs]

- You're so amusing.
- Thank you.

They're showing a
retrospective
of cubism at The Met.

Have you seen it, Shawn?

Uh, well, see,
this whole museum thing

is-is-is, if you ask me

it comes once again back
full circle..

...to the simple clash
between neoclassicalism..

...and surrealism.

Angie darling.

I'm Monique Lattimore.

And?

Well, we have so much in common.

See, I'm currently dealing

in a very unique gallery.

Well, we handle smaller
pieces,
with a message.

Yeah, like "Happy
birthday",
"Get well soon."

"Congratulations, it's a boy."

Let's do lunch.

Well..

...I'm late for an auction.

I'll give you $500
for that painting.

Um, I would have to talk
that over with my client.

Give me a second, please.

[indistinct muttering]

Uh..

My client would like a $1000.

Done.

[Marlon and Shawn cheering]

Venus, write them a check.

Tell me,
what you call your
piece?

Mr. Happy.

I mean your painting.

Oh.

[chuckles]
My bad.

Uh, I don't know.

It is what it is.

Oh! Exactly.

I wanna see more
of your work right
away.

Oh! "It is what it is."

How positively gump-like.

Pay them.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yo, kid, I can't
believe
we pulled that off.

Shawn, a $1000.

Then funny thing
is for a $1000..

...I would have painted
her whole apartment building.

Damn, I'm good.

Yes, Marl. I can't believe
how easy this is.

Easy for you. I am the
one
doing all the fancy
footwork.

Oh, yeah, well, just keep
right on the stepping

'cause Angelique's
on her way over here

and she wants to
see our new artwork.

Oh, man. Come on, man.

Uh, creating art is
exhausting.
I need a break.

Come on, man, creating art?

All you're doing is stomping
your foot on a canvas.

Anybody can do that.

No, Shawn, don't, don't, don't.

Damn, man.
See, now you ruined
it.

Gotta do the whole thing over.

Yo, man, you are trippin'.
What's the matter with you?

- Like that matters.
- Shawn, it does matter.

I put my heart and
soul
into these paintings.

For example,
look at this one right
here.

I call this one,
"The Dark Side Of The Moon."

I'm not even gonna
ask you what that
is.

See, Shawn,
what you don't understand..

...is I'm really
becoming an
artist.

Hello?

You're talking to me here,
remember? This is a scam.

Take the money and run.

We-well, Shawn,
maybe it's not a scam,
alright.

Ma-maybe I'm
actually
good at this.

Shawn, see, what I'm trying
to do is-is release my most

sacred inner feelings
that have never been
exposed.

This is, this is spiritual, kid.

Marlon,
this is a painting of your
ass.

Trust me,
your feeling's already
exposed.

I'll still say
I could be somebody, alright?

[knock on door]

Bonsoir, ma petite chou.

(both)
Muah, muah.

[speaking in French]

Oh...oh, these paintings.

They're brilliant.
They're absolutely
magnificent.

- Thank you.
- Oh, you must be drained.

Drained beyond comprehension.

Oh, poor baby.

I wanted to take you
to a night on the
town.

To celebrate.

Let me get my..

So what are we celebrating?

Well...I've arranged an
auction
of your work

in the Niedermeyer Building.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey,
there ain't gonna be no
auction

if you don't finish
these paintings.

Oh, there's plenty of time.

Our artist needs
the throbbing pulse of New York

to stimulate his passion
and get his juices flowing.

Girl, you keep
talking like
that

my juices are gonna be flowing

all over the place.

Hey, look, Marl, as your manager

I demand you get back to work.

Oh, pish tosh.

A good manager
knows when to let go.

- Mm-hmm.
- Let go, Shane.

It's Shawn and you need

to let go of your hairdresser.

- Clever.
- I know.

- Ready, Marlon?
- Yes.

Let's go spin
some of your Monet.

Did you get it?
That's a art joke.
Monet.

[Angelique laughs]

Monet, ha ha. That killed me.

Monet. Pish tosh.

[laughing]

I have never shared a booth
with an artistic genius
before.

Ooh.

When did you first
discover you're an artist?

I don't know,
I was like six years old

and I wanted to paint
my babysitter in the nude..

...but she keep making me
put my clothes back on.

Hey, Marlon, could you
do me a favor

and watch the newsstand
while I take my lunch?

Shawn..

I don't do newsstands anymore.
Alright?

That's so beneath him.

He can't risk getting those

magnificent hands paper cut.

Look, Shawn, come here.

See, what you don't
understand, my friend

is I'm the artist...
you're the manager.

You work for me, okay?

Now, I'm Gladys Knight
and you're the Pip.

Really, Gladys? Well, you're
about to get pip-slapped.

Okay, okay.
Ladies, we must confer. Ah!

Get off from me, man.

Yo, what's the matter
with you, man?

You're starting to believe
your own hype.

Please, Shawn, I'm
sensitive,
alright. I'm a artist.

If you was a real
manager,
you'd know that.

Yeah, idiot?
Well, I'm not a real manager.

And you're not a real artist.

I am too.

You're just jealous 'cause

you're not the big shot anymore.

-Moi?
- Jealous.

Come on, man.
Don't make me laugh. Too late.

[Shawn laughs]

Woo-hoo! Well,
the joke is on you,
alright.

'Cause now I'm a somebody,
and you ain't.

- A somebody?
- A somebody.

Marlon, you don't
know
the first thing about
art.

You ain't nothin' but a fraud.

You're about as real as

Michael Jackson's marriage.

You know what?
Y-you may think that, alright?

But I know what you are.

Oh, yeah. And what is that?

You're fired.

You're fired as my manager,
and you're fired as my
brother.

And Michael's marriage is real!

It's amazing how his shapes
and colors can convey such..

...emotional power.

Something about this painting
really speaks to me.

Yeah, it's sayin'
you're an idiot.

This is delicious. Mmm.

What is it? Proscuitto?

- That?
- Mm-hmm.

My favorite, pickled pig feet.

- Hey, Lou.
- 'Friends?'

Marlon is much more
than a friend.

He is...a national treasure.

So that's why we are taking

extra security precautions, so..

...if you wouldn't mind just
turning around for a minute.

Thank you.

Hey, Reggie. What's up?

Uh, hey.
You're gonna love this, Shawn.

It was Marlon's idea.

When the auction starts,
I'm gonna bid against

these big shots
and drive the prices up.

Yeah. And what's in it for you?

Marlon promised me...
40 acres and a goat.

Attention everyone.

I, now, would
like to introduce
you

to the wonder child
of the New York art
world.

The incomparable
Marlon Williams.

Bravo!

(Angelique)
'Bravissimo.'

(male #1)
'Bravo.'

[guests applaud]

(Pops)
'Mighty fine, mighty fine.'

Bravo.

Thank you, everybody,
and welcome to my world of
art.

I would like to start
by thanking someone very
true

and dear to me.
My manager and best
friend.

Angelique.

[applause]

Mmm, muah.

[Angelique laughs]

Please, ladies and
gentlemen,
take your seats.

You better be careful, Marlon.

Remember,
the emperor has no clothes.

Yeah, well, it makes it
that much easier for you

to kiss the emperor's butt.

Oh, okay. Just don't say
I didn't warn you.

[indistinct mumbling]

You are all
in for a special treat.

We are about to witness
a true genius create..

...another masterpiece.

[audience gasps]

[audience gasps]

[Marlon inhales sharply]

[singing in foreign language]

[moaning]

Oh!

Oh!

Perfect.

[applause]

Mighty fine, mighty fine,
mighty fine.

- Bravo!
- Bravo!

Ladies and gentlemen..

You'll now have the opportunity

to own this masterpiece.

I'll start the bidding at $1000.

Do I hear 1000?

One thousand dollars.

Oh.

Two thousand dollars.

'Oh, oh-ho.'

Three thousand dollars.

[audience cheering]

Three thousand dollars.
That's my boy.

I bought him his
first coloring book.

Pop, ssh.

We now have $3000.
Do I hear four?

Four thousand dollars.

- 'Oh!'
- Excellent.

Five thousand dollars.

(Angelique)
'Bravo.'

Ten. Ten thousand dollars.

[Reggie laughing]

Do I hear 11,000?

Ten thousand one?

Going once. Twice.

Sold for $10,000

to the shady Rastafarian.

Get in here
and don't make a move.

Eh. That's my sign.

I caught this kid red-handed
spray painting it with
graffiti.

Keep an eye on him
while I call the
cops.

This is absolutely brilliant.

[audience moans]

This is the true voice
of the streets.

Huh, it makes everything else..

...look positively retro.

Little boy.

I'll give you $500
for this sign.

For real? Alright.

Never mind her, I bid a 1000.

Uh, 2000.

Ey, ey, ey.
Whoa, eh, chill, chill,
chill.

What about me? I'm the artist
here. I'm the genius.

Oh, don't speak. Do you have
any other work like this?

Sure, I just got
finished spraying

the subway station
over on 42nd
Street.

- Come on.
- 'Hey, come back here.'

Don't just stand
there like a herd of
sheep?

Follow me!

Hey, wait a minute, woman,
that's not fair.

Eh, eh, eh.

Hey, y'all, you know what?

Marlon Williams
is havin' a sale! Two for
one.

You buy two paintings,
you get one free.

And with any purchase

you get a free jar
of pickled pig's feet..

...and some cheap wine.

(Shawn)
'I don't know, Pops.'

No. Have you?

No, I ain't seen him.

Oh, hold on. He just walked
in.
Alright, I'll call you back.

Don't worry, I just came by
to pick up my stuff and uh..

...tell you I'll be living in
the dumpster around the corner.

And to tell you I'm sorry.

Don't you come
crawlin'
back up in here.

Alright.

Keep your head up.

We family, I love you
no matter how much you mess up.

Thanks, kid.

I just wanted to be a
somebody,
man, that's all.

You are somebody, man.

You're my baby brother,
and my best friend.

Thanks, Shawn.

Even after all I've done, kid?

I love you
unconditionally.
We belong together,
baby.

Even if I don't
have my half of the
rent?

Come on, Shawn.

Hey, what happened
to unconditional, man?

Hey, Shawn. Come on, man.

I draw you a paintin'. See.

You can have
the dark side of the moon.

(Marlon)
'You know what, Shawn?'

Even though I'm not a genius

I still dig paintin' a lot.

Yeah.

It's pretty nice of Angelique to

give us these free art classes.

Mm-hmm, but you know,
when she told me

we was gonna have a nude model,
I didn't have this in mind.

Me neither.

How long do I have
to hold this pose?

I got a pie in the oven.

Somebody close that
door,
it's drafty in here.

My toes are getting
cold.
You got any hot tea?

(Shawn)
Look up, Marlon, say
"Cheese."