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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,070
Glasgow's my home. I want to stay.
- You're staying?
2
00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:09,610
It just feels like Frankie's
needling her way into my life.
3
00:00:09,620 --> 00:00:13,010
This is Frankie. Frankie's doing
the photos for our new brochure.
4
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:16,930
I thought this might be one for Jay
to take charge of actually. Jay?
5
00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:21,010
Easier to be the scarlet woman than
come out of the closet, I suppose.
6
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,450
I do love him. We don't want
to cause a scene, do we?
7
00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:26,810
I think you've managed that
already, sweetheart. Aaargh!
8
00:00:26,820 --> 00:00:31,330
I'm now dumped and homeless.
I can help you find somewhere.
9
00:00:31,340 --> 00:00:33,370
You're moving in with Frankie? Yeah.
10
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:36,850
Who's that then?
That's Hayley, the fit intern.
11
00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:39,060
She's been flirting
with me non-stop.
12
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:43,370
Hayley... Hayley.
13
00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:44,730
It's ketamine.
14
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:48,610
The album she made of you
as a kid, it's gone.
15
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:51,490
Who the hell would want my photos?
Something was sent here.
16
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,250
A photo album? Sent to someone
called Annie Cawthorne.
17
00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:56,930
We have got copies of most
of the documents you requested.
18
00:00:56,940 --> 00:01:00,170
Your parents' death certificates
along with your sister's.
19
00:01:00,180 --> 00:01:02,490
Little Francesca.
Tragic losing someone so young.
20
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:06,220
This programme contains strong
language and scenes of a sexual
nature.
21
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,270
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
22
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:41,330
Is that all you've got?
Yep. All my worldly goods.
23
00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:43,820
Yeah, I'm the same.
Just got a few bits.
24
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:48,890
What?
25
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,490
Tess, what is all this?
26
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:53,050
It's my life. Is that everything?
27
00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:56,170
Absolutely everything.
28
00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:59,370
Oh, shit. I left my sponge bag
in the bathroom.
29
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:00,900
I'll get it. Thank you.
30
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:06,490
Oh, and there's a book on
that weird shelf thing. All right.
31
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,530
And a jumper on the clothes horse
by my room.
32
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:10,900
And the mascara.
33
00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:30,210
Oh, shit! Sorry. It's all right.
34
00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:34,010
I'm just looking for Tess's bag.
It's OK.
35
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,340
No. Um...
36
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,020
I'm Sam.
37
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,890
Yeah.
38
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,090
And you must be...Frankie?
39
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:48,860
Yeah, Cat's told me all about you.
It's nice to finally meet you.
40
00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:51,010
Yeah.
41
00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:52,540
Yeah.
42
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,890
What the hell are you doing?
43
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:17,250
Sorry, I was just...
And your door was...?
44
00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:19,340
What? Open?
45
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,780
Sorry. Frankie...
46
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:26,770
I don't want to fight all the time.
It's boring.
47
00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:28,660
Yeah, I agree.
48
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,860
Shit, I remember that!
49
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:39,850
Your gran's house.
50
00:03:39,860 --> 00:03:41,730
Officially the ugliest vase ever.
51
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:43,530
I can't bring myself to chuck it out.
52
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:46,260
It was the one last thing
she gave me before she died.
53
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:49,650
Are you OK?
54
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:52,860
Yeah. Sure?
55
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,660
Yeah, I'm fine.
56
00:03:57,380 --> 00:04:00,050
We used to raid her drinks cabinet
when she was at church
57
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:03,010
and mix cocktails in it.
Remember? What was it again?
58
00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:04,690
Sambuca and Um Bongo...
59
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,130
They drink it in the Congo.
60
00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:08,650
Which somehow I seriously doubt.
61
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:12,650
Sam, this is Frankie. Frankie, Sam.
62
00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:14,490
We met.
63
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,610
Do you mind if I borrow this?
I've got court this morning.
64
00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:20,010
What are you planning to do?
Flash the judge?
65
00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:22,940
You got to use what you got.
66
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:27,210
Yeah, I'd better go. The driver
will be doing his nut with Tess.
67
00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:28,570
I'll come and see her off.
68
00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:30,100
Bye bye, roomie.
69
00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:33,050
Love you.
70
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,300
Love you, too.
71
00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:39,660
Bye.
72
00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:44,780
Oh, my God! "Love in the afternoon."
73
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,180
Come on.
74
00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:52,580
Ugh!
75
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,810
Want to meet for lunch?
76
00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:10,890
I doubt I'll be finished. These
things have a habit of dragging on.
77
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:13,970
I'd love to watch you in court. Yeah?
78
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,490
It's just like it is on the telly.
Really? Oh, yeah.
79
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,690
Yeah, good looking jury,
a wise old beak.
80
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:22,290
Me on the stand,
being viciously cross-examined
81
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,860
by a curiously sexy Glenn Close.
82
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:33,290
Shit!
83
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,490
What? My boss.
I don't want to be late.
84
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:39,810
Not when he's so pleased with me
already. I'll call you later. OK.
85
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:41,860
Give my regards to Glenn!
86
00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:47,010
Morning.
87
00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:50,260
Morning. My office, five minutes.
88
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,490
Is this it?
89
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,140
I guess so.
90
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:02,260
Is it legit?
91
00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:12,660
Oh, my God! This is amazing!
92
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:17,780
Nice one, Sadie.
93
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:23,290
You should shag
a letting agent more often. Yeah!
94
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,570
Uh!
95
00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:28,780
My world may be turning to shit,
but yes, we have some bongos.
96
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:35,410
So, no doubt you heard
our bright young intern
97
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:38,450
had an attack of the vapours
in the office? Yeah.
98
00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:41,410
Yeah, she hasn't been back.
Is she still ill?
99
00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:45,130
Ill? Yeah, well
that's what I assumed. Ketamine.
100
00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:49,090
Sorry? Commonly prescribed by vets
as a horse tranquiliser.
101
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:51,450
It seems like it's the drug
of choice for our Hayley.
102
00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:55,330
Shit! Really? I had no idea.
103
00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,850
No? No! Course not.
104
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:02,370
I can't believe it. She's bright
and keen and good at her job.
105
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,890
Not any more. I had to fire her.
106
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:08,090
You see, the thing is, Cat,
you interviewed her, hm?
107
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:10,290
You recommended her,
she's your protege.
108
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,450
I thought you might've noticed
she was taking drugs in the office.
109
00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:15,730
I didn't notice anything. Obviously.
If I had, I would've done something.
110
00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:18,860
Yeah, you have been
a bit distracted lately.
111
00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,290
Is that your new squeeze
I saw this morning?
112
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,370
Her name's Sam. Sam?
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
113
00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:29,130
Which of the noble Sapphic
professions does Sam belong to?
114
00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:32,050
Social worker? PE teacher?
Freelance yoghurt maker?
115
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,490
She's a Detective Sergeant. Oh!
116
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:38,570
Well, maybe she'll be able to
give you a few pointers next time.
117
00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:40,820
How to spot suspicious behaviour?
118
00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:46,050
So what it's like
working at Cat and Jay's?
119
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:50,170
Fascinating. I'm the Annie Leibovitz
of architectural photography.
120
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,250
Well, at least you've got a job.
121
00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,810
What are you up to today?
122
00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:57,090
Thought I'd take a spin
round the Italian Centre.
123
00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:58,650
New handbag, haircut.
124
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:02,610
Just a bit of fun with
my never-ending disposable income.
Enjoy that. I will.
125
00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:07,890
Then again, I might just watch Lou
on the telly and drink my own body
weight in gin. Tess, get over it!
126
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:10,850
Plenty more lesbians in the loch.
Mm? You reckon!
127
00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:13,300
Trouble with you is
you don't know where to look.
128
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,140
Ah.
129
00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:25,930
There you go.
"What you want, when you want it."
130
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:26,970
Easy as ordering a pizza.
131
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:30,130
No. Absolutely not.
I'm not that desperate.
132
00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:32,090
It's full of skanks and psychos.
133
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:35,210
What d'you want your
user name to be? Clitoris.
134
00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:38,130
And how are you spelling that?
Frankie, I don't want to do it.
135
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,410
What's the alternative?
136
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:43,010
Sitting round here, pining after
someone you can't have? Yeah.
137
00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:44,810
It doesn't work.
138
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:47,660
Just put a profile up
and see what happens.
139
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,930
Ah, OK.
140
00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:52,410
What you looking for?
141
00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:55,450
Friendship first? Fun?
142
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:56,500
Fisting?
143
00:08:58,060 --> 00:08:59,940
Fisting.
144
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,290
Did you know about Hayley?
145
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:06,970
Hayley? What about her?
146
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,490
She was off her tits.
Ketamine, for chrissake.
147
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,730
Who said that? Alistair.
148
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:14,050
That's why she keeled over
the other day.
149
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:15,930
Did you know she was on something?
150
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:19,570
No, of course not. How would I know?
Exactly!
151
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:23,090
Why would you take drugs in
the office anyway? Stupid girl!
152
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,010
God, I hope she's all right.
153
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:28,250
I don't know why you're so worried.
It's not your fault.
154
00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:30,010
That's not what Alistair thinks.
155
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:33,610
He's been weird with me ever since
I turned down his weekend cottage.
156
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:35,490
Sheep shagging in Shetland.
157
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,810
Then he finally susses I'm gay,
158
00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:38,890
it's given him a whole
new stick to beat me with.
159
00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,660
Listen, don't worry about it,
it'll all blow over.
160
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,250
I was right.
161
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:11,210
I've just been browsing members
in this area and they're all...
162
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:13,290
What's that? Nothing.
163
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,570
Are you OK?
164
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,500
I'm going to go to work.
165
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:41,250
Listen, don't tell Cat
about Hayley, OK? Why?
166
00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:42,450
Alistair's blaming her,
167
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:45,010
she doesn't need to know
I had anything to do with it.
168
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,130
What? So Cat takes all the flak
while you waltz away?
169
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:48,650
It's not like that.
170
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:49,810
Ssh.
171
00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:51,210
Hiya.
172
00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:53,010
Oh!
173
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,620
Thanks.
174
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:59,770
I've downloaded the images
from the Haybridge Court Project,
175
00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:01,660
so we can take a look at them now.
176
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:07,050
What? You. Straight to business.
It's not like you.
177
00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:08,850
What's that supposed to mean?
178
00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:13,540
Frankie. I'm just trying
to do my job, all right? Christ!
179
00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:17,740
What's the matter?
180
00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:32,370
Frankie, what's going on?
And don't say nothing.
181
00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:33,410
Nothing.
182
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:36,620
You're a crap liar. Come on,
you're all over the place.
183
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:44,940
All right. You want to know
what's going on?
184
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:49,370
I'm dead.
185
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:50,620
What?
186
00:11:57,340 --> 00:12:00,610
I don't understand,
the date on this...?
187
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,290
The same day my parents died.
The car crash.
188
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:07,610
Francesca Alan died on the same day
as her parents.
189
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,690
But you survived.
Your aunt and uncle...
190
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:11,970
Took me in. Little orphan Frankie.
191
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:14,500
No, no, they didn't
because she was dead.
192
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:19,530
Frankie...
193
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,740
Fuck! This is...
194
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:26,930
So you're not who they said,
who they told you you were?
195
00:12:26,940 --> 00:12:30,250
It's a total mindfuck. Yeah.
196
00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:32,450
Yeah, it is.
197
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:36,010
But you know what?
I'm not even surprised.
198
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:37,940
What d'you mean?
199
00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:45,290
I always knew that there was
something that they weren't
telling me, some secret.
200
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:48,210
Conversations would stop
when I walked into rooms,
201
00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,370
closed doors and whisperings and...
202
00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:53,010
I'm just trying to make sense of it.
203
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:56,970
This... And the photo album.
204
00:12:56,980 --> 00:13:00,700
So who is she? Your aunt wanted her
to have the photos.
205
00:13:03,220 --> 00:13:08,410
Do you think
she could be your mother?
206
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,020
Your real mother?
207
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:15,970
Frankie, it's OK. No, it's not!
208
00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:18,580
That's the one thing it's not.
209
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:23,930
Later in the programme we'll be
talking to life coach Debbie Spatz,
210
00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:25,770
about the joy of spontaneous living.
211
00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:30,450
What the hell does Lou know about
spontaneous living? Scheming witch!
212
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,100
Mute her! Mute her!
213
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,690
Look at how much make-up
they've put on to cover the bruise!
214
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:38,570
Don't mess with The Fist!
215
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:41,090
Feeble exterior
of a young Woody Allen,
216
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,930
awesome fire power of Vin Diesel.
217
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,730
COMPUTER PINGS
218
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,370
What's that?
219
00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,770
Nothing. It's Frankie trying
to get me back on the scene.
220
00:13:49,780 --> 00:13:51,450
Internet dating? I know.
221
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:54,570
Seriously, I mean, you should
look at some of these girls.
222
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:58,290
Most of them are just desperate hets
after a free lezzy floor show.
223
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:00,220
How can you tell? Easy, look.
224
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,290
Like hell she's bi.
225
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,050
Why the hell do they have to
have a dog in the picture?
226
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:11,690
I do find spaniels
particularly erotic.
227
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:15,370
Oh, and then there's this one.
My favourite.
228
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:20,370
Berlin Mary. "Back in Glasgow.
Zis time I am super horny.
229
00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:24,730
"First we will have the sex. Then
we will proceed to the next level."
230
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,130
COMPUTER PINGS
231
00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:28,770
What's that? It just means
someone's interested.
232
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:32,530
Don't get excited,
it'll just be another minger.
233
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:35,570
She's all right. Really?
234
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:38,530
She is, isn't she? She's hot.
235
00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:40,050
Do you think she's hot?
236
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:41,970
COMPUTER PINGS
237
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:45,450
She wants to chat. I can't do it, my
fingers are sweaty. You do it. No!
238
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:48,130
Go on, you're the writer.
Write something funny, witty, sexy
239
00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:50,570
so she'll think I'm fantastic
and want to go out with me.
240
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:53,170
Actually, I have to go.
What? Where are you going?
241
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,570
I've got a date. What?
242
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:57,210
At three o'clock in the afternoon?
You never said.
243
00:14:57,220 --> 00:15:00,610
I don't tell you everything.
Except that you do.
244
00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:01,890
Who's the lucky girl?
245
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:05,730
Melanie.
In my creative writing class.
246
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,250
She's really nice.
247
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:08,810
Obsessed with Philip Roth.
248
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:12,730
Oh, I love him! Pulp Fiction.
That scene in the diner. Remember?
249
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,210
No, that's Tim Roth.
250
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:17,530
I'm talking about Philip Roth.
Celebrated New York Jewish novelist,
251
00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:18,570
not a bloody actor.
252
00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:20,250
All right! Don't get punchy.
253
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:26,050
Is this what you're going to be like
since your little street fight?
I'm off. Enjoy your internet date.
254
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:28,300
I never said
I was going to meet her!
255
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,290
Why don't I talk to Sam?
256
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:41,890
No. Why not? Least she could see
if Annie Cawthorne's ever come up?
257
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,370
You have an address for her.
258
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:45,970
Don't tell her.
I don't want anyone to know, OK?
259
00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:48,660
Then how else are you going to
find out who she is?
260
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:52,050
Do you think she'd even do it?
261
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:53,490
Probably, if I asked her.
262
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,490
You've got her wrapped around
your finger, have you?
263
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:59,530
No. Sam's a grown-up.
264
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:03,570
In fact this might be my first
attempt at a grown-up relationship.
265
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:06,690
And before you say it,
that doesn't mean it's boring.
266
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:10,490
Yeah, I wasn't going to say that.
I'm pleased for you.
267
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,130
No, you're not!
268
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:14,980
Well, someone should be happy.
It might as well be you.
269
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,490
So how's the new place?
270
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,490
It's mental. Massive.
271
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:25,170
You should drop by sometime,
take a look.
272
00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:26,820
Yeah. Yeah, I might.
273
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,530
Maths homework?
274
00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:39,250
Becky's arranged for us to see
a mortgage adviser.
275
00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:41,730
God, it's fun all the way
with you two.
276
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:43,890
Oh, God!
277
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:48,290
You know how long it's going to
take me to pay this...thing off?
278
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,970
30 years!
279
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:54,050
30 years of fucking wage slaving.
280
00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:56,010
Not to mention your other costs.
281
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:58,770
What? Your nanny. Your vets bills.
282
00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:00,660
Your 2.4 are going to want a pet.
283
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:05,730
Hi, Sam, it's me.
284
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,650
Good. Can you do me a favour?
285
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,450
I just need you to look someone up.
Is that OK?
286
00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:13,850
Oh, it's not for me.
287
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:16,090
It's for one of the secretaries.
288
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:18,020
Annie Cawthorne.
289
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:21,060
48 Claydon Court...
290
00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:25,410
Ashmill Estate...
291
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,460
Glasgow.
292
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,770
Talk to anyone
who's done internet dating,
293
00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:32,330
we've all got war stories. And you?
294
00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:35,770
Right, the worst was this teacher.
Faye.
295
00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:38,450
Great profile,
talked for ages online.
296
00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:41,050
In the flesh she was like something
out of Jane Austen.
297
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,210
Yeah, but underneath the corset...?
We didn't get that far, believe me.
298
00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:46,970
I knew as soon as I met her
299
00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:49,740
she didn't have the right
sense of adventure.
300
00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:55,530
You're adventurous, aren't you, Tess?
Mmm, yeah, course.
301
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:57,370
You want another?
302
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,970
Yeah. I'll get them.
303
00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:01,300
You stay here and enjoy the view.
304
00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:07,940
Two Ezos, please.
305
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:10,850
Hi.
306
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:12,500
Hi.
307
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,820
You look familiar.
308
00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:19,860
No, I don't think so. Maybe.
309
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,540
Ooh.
310
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:33,850
So then I did my dissertation
311
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:37,170
on post-modern identity
in the American novel
312
00:18:37,180 --> 00:18:40,700
and that's when I really fell
in love with Roth. Wow.
313
00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:44,570
What?
314
00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:47,010
You've got a bit of crisp
on your lip.
315
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:48,450
There?
316
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:51,090
No, it's just underneath.
317
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,380
Do you want me to?
318
00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:55,900
Thanks.
319
00:18:58,020 --> 00:19:01,130
I had a date
in a coffee shop once
320
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:05,050
and I thought it had gone really
well, but when I went to the loos,
321
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:09,170
I realised I had chocolate from
my cappuccino all over my lip.
322
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:10,930
A little cocoa Hitler moustache?
323
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:14,610
No, big curly whirly
impresario affair.
324
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:16,220
Fetching!
325
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:20,290
I've got a friend called Tess.
326
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,370
She's an actress.
327
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:25,930
She did this play once where
she had to wear a false beard,
328
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:27,490
a big bushy white thing.
329
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:31,570
Trouble is, they stuck it on with the
wrong stuff, superglue or something,
330
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,530
she was wispy for weeks.
331
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,890
Oh, my God!
332
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:38,130
No, she liked it. She said
it made her feel Christmassy.
333
00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:39,690
She sounds mental.
334
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:45,940
Yeah, she is. She's great,
but she's also...frustrating.
335
00:19:46,940 --> 00:19:50,850
She's one of these people
who can't see what's right
in front of her, you know?
336
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:53,540
Like she can't appreciate
what she's already got.
337
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:00,610
Do you want another?
338
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:02,260
Er... Yeah!
339
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:19,100
Over the top, over the top.
340
00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:31,500
Whoa!
341
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:33,930
Turn it round. Eh?
342
00:20:33,940 --> 00:20:35,930
The other way.
343
00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:37,140
Um...
344
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,420
What the fuck?
345
00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:44,410
All right, hen.
346
00:20:44,420 --> 00:20:47,930
Sorry, um... Who is this?
347
00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,450
This is Dougie.
348
00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:50,490
Douglas.
349
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:54,810
My husband, but don't worry, he just
likes to watch. Now where were we?
350
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,850
No, no, no, I'm sorry.
I thought you were gay.
351
00:20:57,860 --> 00:20:59,570
We're more...
352
00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:00,770
bi-curious.
353
00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:01,850
BANGING
354
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,570
Whoa! What was that?
355
00:21:03,580 --> 00:21:05,370
It's just Lady. What lady?
356
00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:08,610
No, Lady! Our Allie.
Our German Shepherd.
357
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:11,010
Goes a bit frantic when
we shut him in the kitchen.
358
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,620
Um, I think I'm...
359
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,690
You see! This is my problem.
360
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:21,530
Why don't you look at me
like that any more?
361
00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:23,930
HOWLING
362
00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:26,370
It's like Roth's books.
363
00:21:26,380 --> 00:21:28,930
They're almost anti-love stories.
Yeah.
364
00:21:28,940 --> 00:21:34,210
You know? The pain, the...
The inescapable despair of desire.
365
00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:39,330
Yeah. How... How love fractures us.
Yeah. Leaves us in pieces. Doomed.
366
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:41,220
It's doomed to failure.
367
00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:44,290
I just find it...
368
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:45,860
Captivating.
- Depressing.
369
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:52,450
Another drink?
370
00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:55,810
Erm... No, I'd better not.
I've got an early lecture tomorrow.
371
00:21:55,820 --> 00:22:00,170
You're good. I've a friend called
Tess. She doesn't know when to stop.
372
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:04,210
Spirits and then shots
and that's when she gets really wild.
373
00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:06,290
You know, like really self obsessed.
374
00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:10,340
Like she's the only one in the world,
the only one that matters.
375
00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:12,620
Are you going already?
376
00:22:14,020 --> 00:22:16,170
It's been great.
377
00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:17,820
A really great date.
378
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:21,730
Can we do this again?
379
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:23,300
Look, I'll call you.
380
00:22:31,220 --> 00:22:33,060
You see, this is marriage, Tess.
381
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:36,730
First the excitement goes,
then the passion.
382
00:22:36,740 --> 00:22:39,890
Baby, dunnae...
Don't "baby" me, I'm serious.
383
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,100
Um, can I just...
384
00:22:43,620 --> 00:22:44,730
Thanks.
385
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:47,450
That's why we thought
about the internet dating.
386
00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:49,970
It hasn't gone as well
as we hoped, has it, Doug?
387
00:22:49,980 --> 00:22:53,490
Douglas, at least look at me
while I'm talking to you!
388
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:58,130
Well, look, I... I think it's really
great that you're trying. Do you?
389
00:22:58,140 --> 00:22:59,690
Yeah, yeah!
390
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:02,690
Anything you can do
to keep the passion alive.
391
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:04,570
It's like cooking, isn't it?
392
00:23:04,580 --> 00:23:07,130
You can have shepherd's pie
every night,
393
00:23:07,140 --> 00:23:09,210
but why not add a little spice?
394
00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:14,700
Some chilli, pepper,
a bit of turmeric...
395
00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:19,170
Aye, that's very good.
That's very profound.
396
00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:22,530
You should be on the television,
Tess. You're very good at this.
397
00:23:22,540 --> 00:23:24,970
Cos that's all I want.
398
00:23:24,980 --> 00:23:26,650
To make Dougie happy.
399
00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:29,010
Aye, me too, Hen.
400
00:23:29,020 --> 00:23:30,530
Me, too.
401
00:23:30,540 --> 00:23:32,370
Um...
402
00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:33,860
I'll just let myself out.
403
00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:44,610
Sorry, I didn't realise
it had gotten so late.
404
00:23:44,620 --> 00:23:45,850
I should've rung you.
405
00:23:45,860 --> 00:23:48,090
It's all right. You OK?
406
00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:52,650
Just about. Their defence barrister
is a bitch in horsehair.
407
00:23:52,660 --> 00:23:54,620
My brain hurts.
408
00:23:55,620 --> 00:23:57,340
Poor brain.
409
00:23:58,300 --> 00:24:00,620
Do you want a drink? Yes.
410
00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:07,010
Sam? Mmm?
411
00:24:07,020 --> 00:24:09,210
I was just wondering
if you had a chance
412
00:24:09,220 --> 00:24:11,530
to do that thing for me,
look up that name?
413
00:24:11,540 --> 00:24:13,650
Mm, I did.
414
00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:15,580
Great, thank you so much.
415
00:24:17,780 --> 00:24:19,340
So did you find anything out?
416
00:24:21,180 --> 00:24:23,650
The only Cawthorne
registered to that address
417
00:24:23,660 --> 00:24:25,730
is an alias for an Alma Carter.
418
00:24:25,740 --> 00:24:28,330
Alias? She's a criminal?
419
00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:30,130
Yeah, small time.
420
00:24:30,140 --> 00:24:32,250
She's got a couple of priors
for theft,
421
00:24:32,260 --> 00:24:35,450
but we're talking way back,
30 years or more.
422
00:24:35,460 --> 00:24:37,580
Thanks. Thanks for doing that.
423
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:40,620
No problem.
424
00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:46,570
Who did you say it was for?
425
00:24:46,580 --> 00:24:48,410
You said it was someone at work?
426
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:50,610
Yeah. Yeah, just one
of the secretaries.
427
00:24:50,620 --> 00:24:52,420
She's having a few family issues.
428
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:55,300
It's nice of you to help her.
429
00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:00,650
SIREN
430
00:25:00,660 --> 00:25:02,540
DOOR BUZZES
431
00:25:16,220 --> 00:25:18,530
Hey.
Don't look too pleased to see me.
432
00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:22,090
Sorry.
Or were you expecting someone else?
433
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:25,210
No, I just... I didn't know
you were coming, that's all.
434
00:25:25,220 --> 00:25:28,130
Wanted to see how you were
settling in? Like it?
435
00:25:28,140 --> 00:25:29,810
Yeah, it's all right. Yeah.
436
00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:32,570
All right? It fucking rocks!
437
00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:34,540
Do you know how lucky you are
to be shagging me?
438
00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:40,500
To another satisfied client.
439
00:25:54,540 --> 00:25:56,370
What?
440
00:25:56,380 --> 00:25:58,330
Let's just have a drink, yeah?
441
00:25:58,340 --> 00:26:01,250
Don't worry, I can multi-task.
442
00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:04,130
Yeah. Sadie, don't.
443
00:26:04,140 --> 00:26:06,610
Come on, is this all the thanks
I'm going to get?
444
00:26:06,620 --> 00:26:09,330
What? So I've got to fuck you
just cos you found me a flat?
445
00:26:09,340 --> 00:26:10,770
Cos I didn't ask you to.
446
00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:13,490
For God's sake,
that's not what I meant.
447
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:16,450
What's wrong with you tonight?
Nothing's wrong with me.
448
00:26:16,460 --> 00:26:18,380
I'm just not in the mood.
449
00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:24,090
Suit yourself.
450
00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:25,540
Your loss.
451
00:26:43,940 --> 00:26:45,850
What did I do to deserve this?
452
00:26:45,860 --> 00:26:47,820
I just felt like it.
453
00:26:50,580 --> 00:26:52,700
Ah, that is good.
454
00:26:53,340 --> 00:26:56,770
Mm, my first and last
decent cup of the day.
455
00:26:56,780 --> 00:26:59,250
The coffee at court tastes vile.
456
00:26:59,260 --> 00:27:00,690
I can make you a flask?
457
00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:03,460
Let's wait till
we're really middle-aged.
458
00:27:04,940 --> 00:27:08,700
Hey, don't forget
this Annie Cawthorne stuff.
459
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:20,330
Want some?
460
00:27:20,340 --> 00:27:21,690
I made it for you.
461
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:24,340
Yeah, and I want to share it.
462
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:31,330
Oh, shit. What?
463
00:27:31,340 --> 00:27:33,570
Oh, God!
464
00:27:33,580 --> 00:27:37,490
What's the problem?
Lunch with my parents! Today!
465
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:39,700
That's the problem. Your parents?
466
00:27:41,780 --> 00:27:44,860
You could come with me. What?
467
00:27:47,060 --> 00:27:49,260
You're my girlfriend.
You should meet my parents.
468
00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:52,700
Are you sure?
469
00:27:53,660 --> 00:27:55,170
I'm sure.
470
00:27:55,180 --> 00:27:56,620
I'll call you later.
471
00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:36,180
Shit!
472
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:48,690
Now you remember the time, right?
473
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:52,610
And please try to stay tidy
because we need to look
serious and committed.
474
00:28:52,620 --> 00:28:54,850
Committed?
You should be in that tie.
475
00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:57,570
Thanks, Frankie, always nice to have
your support.
476
00:28:57,580 --> 00:28:59,370
We're meeting our
financial advisor later.
477
00:28:59,380 --> 00:29:01,290
Three o'clock. Don't be late.
478
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:02,820
I won't.
479
00:29:05,740 --> 00:29:08,610
Dead Man Walking.
480
00:29:08,620 --> 00:29:11,930
It's a mortgage, Frankie.
Not a death sentence.
481
00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:13,530
Yeah. Loving the noose.
482
00:29:13,540 --> 00:29:17,170
Look, you can take the piss
all you want but this is not
the end for me, all right?
483
00:29:17,180 --> 00:29:21,170
I have options. Choices.
It's not like I'm stuck on a path.
484
00:29:21,180 --> 00:29:25,420
It's not like I can't get off
if I want to. And do you?
485
00:29:29,380 --> 00:29:31,330
You know Hayley?
486
00:29:31,340 --> 00:29:35,770
She snogged me. Did she? No wonder
she had to take drugs. Frankie?
487
00:29:35,780 --> 00:29:38,780
Um, Sam looked up
that thing you wanted.
488
00:29:42,660 --> 00:29:48,050
Annie Cawthorne's an alias
for somebody called Alma Carter.
489
00:29:48,060 --> 00:29:50,170
She has convictions.
490
00:29:50,180 --> 00:29:53,730
Theft, but they're ancient,
like 30 years ago.
491
00:29:53,740 --> 00:29:55,890
She's a criminal? Was.
492
00:29:55,900 --> 00:30:00,490
Was. Sam said that these things on
the record, they're from ages ago,
493
00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:05,050
so they probably don't count. Great.
That's just great. So I'm dead,
494
00:30:05,060 --> 00:30:09,530
I'm connected to a criminal and
there's some strange drug dealer
bloke that keeps following me.
495
00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:11,300
What bloke?
496
00:30:12,820 --> 00:30:16,540
Where are you going?
Where do you think? Frankie.
497
00:30:30,780 --> 00:30:34,490
And how dare they use me
to spice up their marriage?
498
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:37,530
Like I'm some kind of
lesbian court jester.
499
00:30:37,540 --> 00:30:39,690
Tess, will you hurry up!
My mum's booked the table.
500
00:30:39,700 --> 00:30:42,930
All these crazy femmes who
turn out to be straight and I
never notice, I never guess.
501
00:30:42,940 --> 00:30:45,090
"Sense of adventure"?
502
00:30:45,100 --> 00:30:46,610
That was not an adventure.
503
00:30:46,620 --> 00:30:48,970
And you know the worst thing?
Fine, I'll just wait then.
504
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:50,650
The worse thing is, I got hit on!
505
00:30:50,660 --> 00:30:54,810
I passed up a really fit lesbian
and for what?
506
00:30:54,820 --> 00:30:58,220
A heterosexual freak show.
507
00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:02,250
Tess,
what the hell are you looking at?
508
00:31:02,260 --> 00:31:04,450
Nothing. Birds.
509
00:31:04,460 --> 00:31:06,370
Flying up in the thing...
510
00:31:06,380 --> 00:31:08,370
Right, OK, I'm ready.
511
00:31:08,380 --> 00:31:09,900
Where's my coat?
512
00:31:11,820 --> 00:31:14,250
Tiramisu with Judy and Gerry.
513
00:31:14,260 --> 00:31:15,890
Who could say no?
514
00:31:15,900 --> 00:31:19,730
I think this is lovely.
515
00:31:19,740 --> 00:31:21,490
Gerry, for goodness' sake.
516
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:25,770
He likes to build things.
..Gerry? I was just saying,
517
00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:27,450
this is lovely, isn't it?
518
00:31:27,460 --> 00:31:30,490
Yes, it's nice to see you all.
519
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,250
Thank you for making a...
520
00:31:33,260 --> 00:31:35,410
you know.
521
00:31:35,420 --> 00:31:37,930
And to meet Cat's new girlfriend.
522
00:31:37,940 --> 00:31:41,130
Super! And a police woman?
523
00:31:41,140 --> 00:31:44,450
Have you been at "the nick"
this morning, Sam?
524
00:31:44,460 --> 00:31:50,970
Um, actually I've been in court,
giving evidence against
a serial rapist.
525
00:31:50,980 --> 00:31:53,930
Rape. Now that is not very nice.
526
00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:57,170
Conjunctivitis is
not very nice, Mother.
527
00:31:57,180 --> 00:32:01,650
But rape, I think, qualifies as
something slightly worse than that.
528
00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:05,290
She takes things very literally,
our Catherine, always has.
529
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:08,220
I think she might
be slightly autistic.
530
00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:46,090
So, the police service?
531
00:32:46,100 --> 00:32:50,210
That must be very rewarding,
decent salary? Mum! Please.
532
00:32:50,220 --> 00:32:53,570
It's OK. When you join up, you
know what you let yourself in for.
533
00:32:53,580 --> 00:32:57,930
Public service pay and a polyester
uniform. Winning combination.
534
00:32:57,940 --> 00:32:59,770
Super!
535
00:32:59,780 --> 00:33:04,250
Of course Ed's doing so well
writing his very own science book.
536
00:33:04,260 --> 00:33:07,730
Science fiction, Mum.
That's what I said, darling.
537
00:33:07,740 --> 00:33:10,170
And Tess, still acting?
538
00:33:10,180 --> 00:33:13,930
Oh, you know me, Judy.
I just go with the flow,
like a piece of driftwood.
539
00:33:13,940 --> 00:33:18,090
Ha-ha. Such a free spirit.
540
00:33:18,100 --> 00:33:20,530
And then there's Cat with her...
541
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:22,930
architecture.
542
00:33:22,940 --> 00:33:25,010
You see, that's the problem.
543
00:33:25,020 --> 00:33:27,770
Very long training, expensive.
544
00:33:27,780 --> 00:33:31,210
It's a big investment for
everyone for uncertain rewards.
545
00:33:31,220 --> 00:33:36,210
Still, you always put your dreams on
hold for your children, don't you?
546
00:33:36,220 --> 00:33:38,130
It must be worth it, Judy?
547
00:33:38,140 --> 00:33:42,530
You know, seeing all that
Catherine's achieved and knowing she
couldn't have done it without you?
548
00:33:42,540 --> 00:33:45,010
Well, yes.
549
00:33:45,020 --> 00:33:51,060
Exactly, yes.
And we're all very proud, yes.
550
00:33:57,700 --> 00:33:59,330
So?
551
00:33:59,340 --> 00:34:02,250
Little Francesca. Can I come in?
552
00:34:02,260 --> 00:34:05,370
You turned your back on us,
young lady.
553
00:34:05,380 --> 00:34:07,940
Our door's always been open to you.
554
00:34:18,380 --> 00:34:20,570
I'm sorry.
555
00:34:20,580 --> 00:34:22,660
The funeral. I was out of line.
556
00:34:27,140 --> 00:34:30,210
I want to ask you something.
557
00:34:30,220 --> 00:34:32,170
About me...
558
00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:35,450
where I came from.
New York, wasn't it?
559
00:34:35,460 --> 00:34:40,330
I find it hard to keep up with you
girls. As a baby. Where you got me.
560
00:34:40,340 --> 00:34:42,490
The birds and the bees, Francesca.
561
00:34:42,500 --> 00:34:44,050
Isn't it a bit late for all that?
562
00:34:44,060 --> 00:34:46,820
I'm not Francesca though, am I?
563
00:35:05,380 --> 00:35:08,340
Where did you get this?
The registry office.
564
00:35:15,380 --> 00:35:18,900
Everything we did
was in your best interests.
565
00:35:26,740 --> 00:35:28,330
And who is Alma Carter?
566
00:35:28,340 --> 00:35:30,690
Is she my mother?
567
00:35:30,700 --> 00:35:32,650
My real mother?
568
00:35:32,660 --> 00:35:35,090
I don't know who you're talking
about. I've never heard of this.
569
00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:40,450
Alma Carter! Aunt Carol sent her
my photo album before she died.
570
00:35:40,460 --> 00:35:43,050
I'm sorry.
571
00:35:43,060 --> 00:35:47,450
Jesus, am I even related to you at
all? Are you anything to do with me?
572
00:35:47,460 --> 00:35:49,290
Oh, hello, Gillian.
573
00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:51,580
You remember my niece?
574
00:35:54,020 --> 00:35:58,170
I'd like to help you so I'm
telling you this for your own good.
575
00:35:58,180 --> 00:36:01,370
Stop looking, asking questions.
576
00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:04,370
You won't like the answer.
577
00:36:04,380 --> 00:36:06,450
Alma Carter's not interested.
578
00:36:06,460 --> 00:36:07,770
Not then.
579
00:36:07,780 --> 00:36:09,810
Not now.
580
00:36:09,820 --> 00:36:12,740
She didn't want you.
581
00:36:45,380 --> 00:36:47,810
Excuse me.
Could we have the bill, please?
582
00:36:47,820 --> 00:36:50,330
Yeah, sure.
583
00:36:50,340 --> 00:36:54,020
Oh, you might want to powder your
nose if you're in there, darling.
584
00:36:57,660 --> 00:37:01,330
She's such an attractive girl Tess,
don't you think, Gerry?
585
00:37:01,340 --> 00:37:04,850
And these two make a
very attractive couple.
586
00:37:04,860 --> 00:37:09,490
Have you thought about it, Edward?
She could be the one? What?
587
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:11,450
No, no, she's not the one, Mother.
588
00:37:11,460 --> 00:37:13,810
There is no one, OK?
589
00:37:13,820 --> 00:37:16,730
I'm not seeing anyone, not
going anywhere... I'm stuck.
590
00:37:16,740 --> 00:37:18,370
Sorry, isn't Tess...?
591
00:37:18,380 --> 00:37:21,370
Gay? Yes, she is.
As my mother is only too well aware.
592
00:37:21,380 --> 00:37:24,450
I think we're all a bit gay, dear,
aren't we?
593
00:37:24,460 --> 00:37:28,890
That's the trouble with Ed, he lets
everything become an obstacle.
594
00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:31,010
PHONE RINGS
595
00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:32,700
Excuse me.
596
00:37:38,180 --> 00:37:39,300
Hello?
597
00:37:59,740 --> 00:38:02,660
Yeah? Sadie, where are you?
598
00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:22,860
Oi! You stopped being
a moody twat then, have you?
599
00:38:24,940 --> 00:38:27,610
Whose is this place?
Last night's conquest.
600
00:38:27,620 --> 00:38:31,690
A tragic little banker
called Josephine that I
picked up at Babylon.
601
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:35,330
She was a crap shag though.
All toys and no imagination.
602
00:38:35,340 --> 00:38:37,260
Oh, yeah?
603
00:38:39,940 --> 00:38:42,330
So this Josephine, where is she now?
604
00:38:42,340 --> 00:38:44,970
Don't tell me you've left her
tied up upstairs?
605
00:38:44,980 --> 00:38:49,370
No, she got an early flight to
Charles de Gaulle this morning,
606
00:38:49,380 --> 00:38:51,620
leaving yours truly
holding the keys.
607
00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:03,090
Thank you. For what? You were great.
The way you handled my mother!
608
00:39:03,100 --> 00:39:05,770
Ah well, I guess I've just had a
lot of practice dealing with...
609
00:39:05,780 --> 00:39:08,490
Psychopaths?
Cat, your mother's not a psycho.
610
00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:11,610
She's just more borderline
personality disorder. Really?
611
00:39:11,620 --> 00:39:15,090
So what does that make me? You?
612
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:16,740
Where do I start?
613
00:39:28,140 --> 00:39:30,570
I can't do this.
614
00:39:30,580 --> 00:39:32,490
You seem to be doing all right.
615
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:34,730
No, I can't. It's...
616
00:39:34,740 --> 00:39:38,170
You've been
so great today and it just...
617
00:39:38,180 --> 00:39:39,980
makes me feel even shittier.
618
00:39:42,820 --> 00:39:45,970
I lied to you. About what?
619
00:39:45,980 --> 00:39:49,810
That name.
It wasn't for one of the secretaries.
620
00:39:49,820 --> 00:39:52,370
It was for Frankie.
621
00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:55,010
Of course it was.
622
00:39:55,020 --> 00:39:56,980
I was just wondering when
you were going to tell me.
623
00:39:58,780 --> 00:40:00,330
You knew?
624
00:40:00,340 --> 00:40:03,210
What's my job?
625
00:40:03,220 --> 00:40:07,010
I know! And I'm a terrible liar.
It's just...
626
00:40:07,020 --> 00:40:10,930
Frankie asked me
not to tell anyone. About what?
627
00:40:10,940 --> 00:40:15,370
Oh, nothing. It's just she doesn't
want anyone to know about her stuff.
628
00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:20,130
Cat, is there, um... Is there
anything that I need to worry about?
629
00:40:20,140 --> 00:40:24,690
You and Frankie, you know, you
obviously go back a long way and...
630
00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:29,900
She's... She's a friend, that's all.
Not even a very good one.
631
00:40:31,460 --> 00:40:33,210
OK.
632
00:40:33,220 --> 00:40:36,370
But you have
absolutely nothing to worry about.
633
00:40:36,380 --> 00:40:37,900
OK!
634
00:40:39,820 --> 00:40:42,420
Just don't lie to me again.
635
00:40:48,220 --> 00:40:51,290
Do you want to go for a drink? Yeah?
636
00:40:51,300 --> 00:40:54,780
MUSIC BLARING
637
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:02,540
On your marks! Get your car keys!
638
00:41:33,300 --> 00:41:35,130
Good stuff.
639
00:41:35,140 --> 00:41:38,540
Private prescription,
maximum strength.
640
00:41:41,140 --> 00:41:43,900
Question is, how many do I need?
641
00:41:45,540 --> 00:41:47,580
Depends on how much
you want to forget.
642
00:41:59,380 --> 00:42:03,410
Look at you.
Two cocktails and you're anybody's.
643
00:42:03,420 --> 00:42:07,380
Not anybody's. Yours.
644
00:42:43,900 --> 00:42:46,530
The taxi driver won't like it.
645
00:42:46,540 --> 00:42:49,250
He's a Daily Mail reader.
646
00:42:49,260 --> 00:42:51,020
Fuck him.
647
00:42:55,060 --> 00:42:57,690
No, don't fuck him.
648
00:42:57,700 --> 00:42:59,220
Fuck me.
649
00:43:58,260 --> 00:44:00,170
Frankie?
650
00:44:00,180 --> 00:44:02,180
What the fuck are you doing?
651
00:44:05,860 --> 00:44:09,860
Rape. Now that's not very nice.
652
00:44:11,180 --> 00:44:14,370
Genocide, also not very nice.
653
00:44:14,380 --> 00:44:17,530
Right, I'm off. No, no, no, no!
I haven't said the best bit!
654
00:44:17,540 --> 00:44:21,730
The best bit was when your mum
accused Cat of being autistic.
655
00:44:21,740 --> 00:44:26,810
And then there was your dad,
counting cutlery
like he's in fucking Rainman.
656
00:44:26,820 --> 00:44:29,180
Yay! He smiles!
657
00:44:30,180 --> 00:44:33,250
You know,
you're my best audience, Ed.
658
00:44:33,260 --> 00:44:36,740
In fact you're my only audience,
so you must never leave me.
659
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:43,730
Do you know what else my mum said?
What?
660
00:44:43,740 --> 00:44:48,770
She said we'd make
a really attractive couple. Mental!
661
00:44:48,780 --> 00:44:49,980
Yeah.
662
00:44:52,860 --> 00:44:55,900
DOOR BUZZER
I'll get it.
663
00:44:59,260 --> 00:45:02,850
Surprise! Ho, ho, ho! Nice pad!
664
00:45:02,860 --> 00:45:05,410
All right, babe? Jay!
665
00:45:05,420 --> 00:45:07,500
Let's get the party started!
666
00:45:13,780 --> 00:45:15,340
Look at the size of this place!
667
00:45:46,740 --> 00:45:48,610
Shave for me.
668
00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:50,380
What?
669
00:45:52,220 --> 00:45:54,690
Everything.
670
00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:56,210
Shave it all off.
671
00:45:56,220 --> 00:45:59,220
I've only got a landing strip.
672
00:46:23,340 --> 00:46:24,860
Open your legs.
673
00:46:26,780 --> 00:46:28,740
Wider.
674
00:46:57,620 --> 00:46:59,500
Lift your head up.
675
00:47:01,460 --> 00:47:04,540
Put your arm behind your head.
676
00:47:37,740 --> 00:47:40,010
KNOCK ON DOOR
677
00:47:40,020 --> 00:47:42,530
Hello?
678
00:47:42,540 --> 00:47:45,730
Josephine, is that you?
679
00:47:45,740 --> 00:47:48,260
It's me, Lainie,
I'm here to feed your fish.
680
00:47:51,460 --> 00:47:53,490
Look, this is a mistake.
681
00:47:53,500 --> 00:47:56,690
We're friends of Jackie's...
Josephine's.
682
00:47:56,700 --> 00:48:00,850
That's not true. I've been cleaning
here for three years.
683
00:48:00,860 --> 00:48:03,170
I've never seen these
people before in my life.
684
00:48:03,180 --> 00:48:05,570
She's lying. How would you know?
685
00:48:05,580 --> 00:48:08,130
We were together last night.
686
00:48:08,140 --> 00:48:10,650
Quite the squealer is Josephine.
687
00:48:10,660 --> 00:48:13,570
I think the best thing would be for
you two to come down to the station.
688
00:48:13,580 --> 00:48:16,410
We'll try and sort all this out,
get in touch with the owner.
689
00:48:16,420 --> 00:48:20,650
Paris, you say? No, no. You don't
want to do that. And why's that?
690
00:48:20,660 --> 00:48:24,180
Call Sam Murray. She's a detective
sergeant. She'll sort this out.
691
00:48:25,900 --> 00:48:32,820
Is that right? Yeah, cos this isn't
what it looks like and I wouldn't
want you to make a mistake.
692
00:48:40,580 --> 00:48:42,450
No! Look...
693
00:48:42,460 --> 00:48:44,250
What are you doing?
Just leave me to deal with this.
694
00:48:44,260 --> 00:48:45,780
I know what I'm doing.
695
00:49:14,900 --> 00:49:20,010
Tess, have we got any crisps?
696
00:49:20,020 --> 00:49:24,010
Sweeties? Brownie mix? Anything?
697
00:49:24,020 --> 00:49:26,250
Tess?
698
00:49:26,260 --> 00:49:30,580
What you looking at? Oh, nothing.
Just another missed opportunity.
699
00:49:33,660 --> 00:49:37,060
How much have you had to drink?
Not enough.
700
00:49:40,060 --> 00:49:42,380
Cheers.
701
00:49:43,540 --> 00:49:47,210
They were left in the house, Clive.
It's implied consent.
702
00:49:47,220 --> 00:49:49,450
I'm just sorry you
got dragged into it.
703
00:49:49,460 --> 00:49:50,980
OK.
704
00:49:57,340 --> 00:50:02,130
Tell me why should I do this? Why
should I have to vouch for you two?
705
00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:05,450
Who is this, Frankie? This?
706
00:50:05,460 --> 00:50:08,370
This is Sadie. My girlfriend.
707
00:50:08,380 --> 00:50:10,770
Your girlfriend, Frankie?
708
00:50:10,780 --> 00:50:14,450
Your standards are dropping.
Piss off.
709
00:50:14,460 --> 00:50:17,660
Just clean up this mess
and get the hell out of here.
710
00:50:21,060 --> 00:50:23,500
I'm so, so sorry.
711
00:50:41,020 --> 00:50:43,660
You cheated! Suck it up.
712
00:50:47,060 --> 00:50:49,140
Yay! Stranger!
713
00:50:51,420 --> 00:50:53,610
What happened to you? Not much.
714
00:50:53,620 --> 00:50:55,930
How was your day?
715
00:50:55,940 --> 00:50:59,250
Fabulous.
You didn't get your mortgage then?
716
00:50:59,260 --> 00:51:01,700
No. We did.
717
00:51:15,380 --> 00:51:17,500
Oh, my God. I need my bed.
718
00:51:19,020 --> 00:51:22,370
The room's spinning.
Have a glass of water.
719
00:51:22,380 --> 00:51:25,450
Have a go on this bad boy.
No, thanks.
720
00:51:25,460 --> 00:51:28,460
Ed, you can stay in
my bed if you want.
721
00:51:29,460 --> 00:51:33,210
I'm going to go home.
Get the last bus.
722
00:51:33,220 --> 00:51:37,770
You should stay. The state she's
in you won't even need rohypnol.
723
00:51:37,780 --> 00:51:42,060
Piss off, Frankie.
See you later, Teddy boy.
724
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:46,020
See ya.
725
00:51:51,340 --> 00:51:56,180
So...what do you want to do now?
726
00:51:57,700 --> 00:52:00,180
I want another drink.
727
00:52:01,220 --> 00:52:04,010
What's...? I'm sure I saw something.
728
00:52:04,020 --> 00:52:06,090
Yeah, is that... What's that?
Is that tequila?
729
00:52:06,100 --> 00:52:08,890
Looks like tequila!
730
00:52:08,900 --> 00:52:10,860
Urgh, it smells like Domestos.
731
00:52:12,860 --> 00:52:14,220
Aaah!
732
00:52:18,460 --> 00:52:22,050
Christ, I shouldn't drink any more.
733
00:52:22,060 --> 00:52:24,020
Who said?
734
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:27,810
PHONE RINGS
735
00:52:27,820 --> 00:52:29,370
Oh!
736
00:52:29,380 --> 00:52:31,170
Ring ring!
737
00:52:31,180 --> 00:52:33,900
Becky.
738
00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:39,210
Uh-oh. What's going on with you two?
739
00:52:39,220 --> 00:52:41,570
Nothing, nothing. It's all good.
740
00:52:41,580 --> 00:52:44,570
I love Becky. I do...
741
00:52:44,580 --> 00:52:47,770
At least I think I do.
I'm pretty sure...
742
00:52:47,780 --> 00:52:51,010
But how do you know?
How do you know?
743
00:52:51,020 --> 00:52:53,810
You're asking me?
744
00:52:53,820 --> 00:52:55,410
It's just this...
745
00:52:55,420 --> 00:52:57,810
It's just this moving in thing.
746
00:52:57,820 --> 00:53:02,330
I just feel as if I'm being pushed,
like I'm signing my life away for
something I'm not even sure I want.
747
00:53:02,340 --> 00:53:06,370
It's like my heart says one thing
but my cock's saying another.
748
00:53:06,380 --> 00:53:08,050
Am I making...? I'm...
749
00:53:08,060 --> 00:53:10,300
I'm not making any sense, am I?
750
00:53:14,020 --> 00:53:15,300
Oh, God, I'm pissed.
751
00:53:18,660 --> 00:53:20,610
Get you!
752
00:53:20,620 --> 00:53:22,570
You're so...
753
00:53:22,580 --> 00:53:26,260
controlled. Got it all together.
754
00:53:27,260 --> 00:53:31,410
You what? Good old Frankie.
Doesn't say anything.
755
00:53:31,420 --> 00:53:35,340
Doesn't get sucked in.
Fuck and run Frankie.
756
00:53:40,020 --> 00:53:42,450
You don't know anything.
757
00:53:42,460 --> 00:53:48,010
So, tell me, Frankie,
this love thing.
758
00:53:48,020 --> 00:53:50,970
Is there someone...anyone...
759
00:53:50,980 --> 00:53:55,540
that grabs your heart
and fucks with your head?
760
00:53:57,180 --> 00:53:59,220
Cos I don't know if I can do it.
761
00:54:03,900 --> 00:54:06,140
Frankie?
762
00:54:12,020 --> 00:54:15,700
Cat. It's always been Cat.
763
00:54:18,820 --> 00:54:21,260
Of course it has.
764
00:54:26,020 --> 00:54:28,370
Oi...
765
00:54:28,380 --> 00:54:30,570
Oh, Christ.
766
00:54:30,580 --> 00:54:32,100
Hey...
767
00:54:40,420 --> 00:54:43,770
Poor Frankie.
768
00:54:43,780 --> 00:54:45,730
Poor pissed Frankie
769
00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:47,820
with her sad eyes.
770
00:55:58,180 --> 00:56:01,730
You saw. Couldn't help it.
771
00:56:01,740 --> 00:56:03,490
It was nothing. It was Jay!
772
00:56:03,500 --> 00:56:05,290
It was a fucking mistake!
773
00:56:05,300 --> 00:56:09,130
When did you know that you loved her?
When does anyone know?
774
00:56:09,140 --> 00:56:11,610
There's not much to celebrate.
775
00:56:11,620 --> 00:56:13,970
It's your 30th! Exactly.
Why don't we just do it at my flat?
776
00:56:13,980 --> 00:56:15,730
As long as it doesn't
get too messy again.
777
00:56:15,740 --> 00:56:19,810
Strolling down memory lane
behind Sam's back... I was working!
778
00:56:19,820 --> 00:56:24,010
Why didn't he just like go for it
with her? Would she reciprocate?
779
00:56:24,020 --> 00:56:26,300
Well, you're the writer.
Make it happen.
780
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:30,340
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