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1
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,412
Harper, I need you to
take this seriously.
2
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,906
Do you have any fours?
3
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,711
Freddie, just go fish.
4
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,223
She's waiting to
hear about the job
5
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,745
: With Double Dutch.
6
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,889
Don't say her name!
You'll jinx me.
7
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,315
- Who's Double Dutch?
- What did I just say?
8
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,191
The aforementioned is
an emerging pop star
9
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,391
with a million
Instagram followers.
10
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:28,303
She's got the blue check.
11
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,996
Oh, so she's not
real world famous,
12
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:31,228
she's just online famous.
13
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,402
- Hey!
- Hey!
14
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,800
Before you're a household name,
15
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,901
- you're a handheld name.
- Yeah.
16
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,743
And handheld names can have
long and fulfilling careers
17
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,139
dressing up as tacos on their
wildly popular Web shows.
18
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,721
Oh, that reminds me, we're
doing that sketch later.
19
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,175
I got to go pick up my Taco
Tina costume from the cleaners.
20
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,561
Uh, do you need
to borrow my car?
21
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,219
No. I have my own
car, thank you.
22
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,589
- Or you could take mine.
- : I don't have a car,
23
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,057
but I can call you an
ethical rideshare company,
24
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,187
as soon as there is one.
25
00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,892
Look, my car is fine.
26
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,603
So what if it goes
27
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,296
when I'm going uphill?
28
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,742
If I have to walk uphill,
I make that noise, too.
29
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:11,865
It doesn't mean that
there's anything wrong.
30
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,804
Hi, I'm Wes.
31
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,028
Uh, I hope you
didn't wait too long.
32
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,404
I, I would hate for
you to get soggy.
33
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,273
: Oh, this?
34
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,012
It's just for a
silly Internet thing.
35
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,936
I'm Taco Tina.
36
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,111
I'm a taco, but I have all the
same problems as any other girl.
37
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:52,612
Including car troubles?
38
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,323
Uh, 'cause according
to Quadruple A,
39
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,360
you've called a tow truck nine
times in the last six months.
40
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:59,254
What? No, I'm sure
it's not that many.
41
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,231
Uh, really? 'Cause you get
the tenth tow for free.
42
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,985
Oh, yeah, you know,
i-it has been nine.
43
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,756
This guy here is Vin Diesel,
44
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,061
'cause he has a VIN number
and he takes diesel.
45
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,674
He takes unleaded.
46
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,277
You haven't been putting
diesel in this car, have you?
47
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:14,301
No.
48
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,065
Definitely not.
49
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,465
He probably just
needs a new battery.
50
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,313
No, your battery's fine.
51
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,620
But your drum brakes are shot,
you have a failed generator,
52
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,214
and there's a crack
in the engine block.
53
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,953
Oh, is that all?
54
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,217
: Oh, you wish.
55
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,616
You have a fried distributor,
56
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,161
and that air filter is
an environmental hazard.
57
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,185
No, that's fine. I
wiped it off last year.
58
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,257
Trust me. I've been doing
this since I was six,
59
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,234
and I've been fixing Hot
Wheels since I was two.
60
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:40,188
Okay, but you don't know
how tough Vin Diesel is.
61
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:43,004
I've had him forever, and
he's always pulled through.
62
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:46,266
Be honest, you're just
trying to upsell me.
63
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,937
If you want me to be honest,
64
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,946
you might want to think about
getting rid of this old clunker.
65
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,070
The repairs are gonna cost more
than Mr. Diesel's even worth.
66
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,013
Worth? Worth?!
67
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:59,609
Can you put a price on the
perfect drive-through Coke,
68
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,353
drunk beneath the stars
on a crisp autumn evening?
69
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,950
Yes.
70
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,091
And so can most fast
food restaurants.
71
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,716
Uh, should we just go
back to your place?
72
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,992
: My place?
73
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,431
That's presumptuous.
74
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,156
Your place, as in the
place I'm towing your car.
75
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,159
I presume.
76
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,962
$15,000 to fix a car?
77
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,274
You could get one-third
of a Birkin bag for that.
78
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,937
Purses cost that much?
79
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,805
Great, now you got me
thinking about purses,
80
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,849
which is reminding me of
the styling job with Dutch,
81
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,583
which I'm trying
not to think about.
82
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,005
You brought up the purse!
83
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,680
Oh! So now we're
blaming the victim?
84
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,679
Thank you, Fredward.
85
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,227
I wish there was a way to
know if my car really needed
86
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,291
all that work or if
that mechanic was just
87
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,627
trying to take advantage of me.
88
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,255
You could take a
auto repair class.
89
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,727
I saw a flyer for one at
the community college.
90
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:20,686
I was there for my
investing class.
91
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,704
: Investing! Great!
92
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,926
Now I'm thinking about
this. Wow, Millicent.
93
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,640
You know, I love this idea.
94
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,967
I can take a car repair
class, fix Vin Diesel,
95
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,942
and then talk
about it on iCarly.
96
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:37,411
I can't be the only woman who's
sick of condescending mechanics.
97
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,911
Hey, it's not just women.
98
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,782
When I got my oil changed,
it cost an extra $400
99
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,782
to fix my "shock exacerbater."
100
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,194
What's a shock exacerbater?
101
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,415
It is a made-up
thing that cost $400.
102
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,467
Well, they're gonna be naming
made-up auto parts after me
103
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,991
once I ace this class like
Hermione freaking Granger.
104
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,903
Hermione Freaking
Granger was the title
105
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,655
of Dutch's first album!
106
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,934
Come on, Carly!
107
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:04,369
- Ah, vino.
108
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:05,842
The serum of truth.
109
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,909
But we already know
every single thing
110
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,686
there is to know about
each other.
111
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,050
I faked it!
112
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,716
What? Last night?
113
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,375
All of it. The whole time.
114
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:17,624
Since I've known you?
115
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,618
Since before that.
116
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,420
Guess that makes me feel
a little bit better.
117
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,493
I just couldn't keep lying
to you a moment longer.
118
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:28,533
Oh, please don't be upset.
119
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,729
I'm more disappointed in myself.
120
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,571
Is there anything I
could've done better?
121
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,766
More wiggling? I-I'm
here to listen.
122
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:38,838
Spencer, I faked
my own kidnapping.
123
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,939
: Oh, thank God.
124
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,711
It's not me, it's you!
125
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,650
Okay. Why'd you do that?
126
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,575
When our family lost
all of our money,
127
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,650
I was being hounded
by the paparazzi,
128
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,249
bill collectors, the media...
129
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,291
Mostly bill collectors.
130
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,857
So I hopped on a
cruise and sailed away.
131
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,926
Suddenly it's all
like, "kidnapping this"
132
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,626
and "debt forgiveness"
that, so...
133
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:02,999
Wow.
134
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:07,437
Now we're even closer
than before! Yay!
135
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,335
You're not mad?
136
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,667
As long as you were never
a rodeo clown, we're fine.
137
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,713
Well, that's great.
138
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:17,238
Do you think Harper
will understand?
139
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,354
No. No.
140
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,617
She's gonna kill you
and bury you at sea.
141
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,886
I'll lay fresh
kelp at your grave.
142
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,728
Wow, look at all these women.
143
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,396
And you. And that guy.
144
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,896
A camaraderie of sisterhood,
joining hands to say,
145
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,568
"We can fix it ourselves."
146
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,227
I'm gonna start
taking notes now.
147
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,574
You know where class
starts, Millicent?
148
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:44,711
In here.
149
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,805
That's your clavicle.
150
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,881
I just can't wait to learn
151
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,976
everything there is
to know about cars.
152
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,748
I truly am a renaissance person.
153
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,077
But most importantly,
154
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,922
I'm gonna get Vin
Diesel in tip-top shape.
155
00:06:57,017 --> 00:07:00,487
MTV Movie Award winner for
Best Tank Top Vin Diesel?
156
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,788
He's in perfect shape.
157
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,587
Oh, my car's name is Vin Diesel.
158
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:10,433
Yesterday, this guy tried to
charge me $15,000 for repairs.
159
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,001
Ugh, the worst.
160
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,369
But you're gonna love the
instructor of this class.
161
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,198
He is so patient and smart,
162
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,313
and when he shows you
how to do a tune-up,
163
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:21,835
it's almost... tender.
164
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,312
As long as he's honest.
165
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,550
I just can't take
another skeezy scammer,
166
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,046
like that guy I met yesterday.
167
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,817
Skeezy scammer?
Sounds like a jerk.
168
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:33,517
Yeah, he sure w... Aah! You.
169
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,721
Hi. Welcome to class, everyone.
170
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,363
Ooh, twinsies.
171
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,571
This is your shop?
172
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,466
Yes. Uh, it was my grandfather's
173
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,238
and then my father's
and now mine.
174
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,596
Cars run in the family.
175
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,944
So you earned none of this.
176
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,780
Oh, Regina.
177
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,405
Hey, it-it's great
to see you again.
178
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,787
If you take this
class any more times,
179
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,022
you're gonna be the
one teaching it.
180
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,306
Can I take a picture of you?
181
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,583
Okay, class, let's go
ahead and get started.
182
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,283
You know, this class is a sham.
183
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,994
You're giving people false hope.
184
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,397
'Cause then, when they realize
they can't fix their own cars,
185
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,861
they're gonna crawl back to you
and then you can swindle them.
186
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,664
It's just like one
of those restaurants
187
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,200
that gives you free chips and
then charges a ton for guac.
188
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,255
Is that one of Taco
Tina's troubles?
189
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,609
That's not what's
happening here, okay?
190
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,073
I-I just like to empower people
191
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,138
so that they don't need
someone like me to come in
192
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,906
and "vansplain."
193
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,906
Vansplain!
194
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:31,008
No matter how many times I hear
that, it just gets funnier.
195
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,681
Lady, be cool.
196
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,551
First thing I want
to teach you all is
197
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,789
how to monitor your
vehicle's fluids.
198
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,545
So who wants to come up
and help me check the oil?
199
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,961
Please, God, I never
ask for anything.
200
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,987
How about you, Carly?
201
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,198
Fine.
202
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,226
I was just trying to give
someone else a chance,
203
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,031
since I already know
how to do all this,
204
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,943
but I suppose I can demonstrate
for the good of my peers.
205
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,366
Great.
206
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,510
Then reach on down in
and grab the dipstick.
207
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,938
- Seriously?
- I didn't name it.
208
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:04,981
Not it.
209
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,078
I know. I was just testing you.
210
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,980
Good job. You passed.
211
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,948
Here, let me just help.
212
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,193
Look, I can do it myself.
213
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,689
Okay, class.
214
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,564
Who can tell me what
Carly did wrong?
215
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,896
If this doesn't put
Harper in the right mood
216
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,144
to hear bad news, I
don't know what will.
217
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,540
I snagged the limited edition
Normani Off Balance sneakers
218
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:37,644
she's been coveting.
219
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:40,408
You wear them on your hands.
220
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,623
And I got this $2,000
bottle of champagne.
221
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,962
I bought it at an estate sale
of someone who went bankrupt
222
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,756
buying $2,000
bottles of champagne.
223
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:53,256
And I framed this photo of our
least favorite cousin Roxy.
224
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,670
No matter what I do, I'll always
look better in comparison.
225
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,295
- Go to hell, Roxy.
226
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,600
She's here.
227
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:09,076
Hold up. Flowers? Bubbly?
228
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:13,206
Limited edition
Normani Off Balance sneakers!
229
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,583
You wear them on your hands.
230
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,820
You two did all this for me?
231
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:23,359
We did, because we love you,
and we need to tell you...
232
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,902
How happy you are that I got the
styling job with Double Dutch?
233
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,556
Wait. How did
you two already hear?
234
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,532
: You got the job?
235
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,231
You got the job!
236
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,397
Oh! There's even
a picture of Roxy,
237
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:40,474
to remind me that I'm
doing better than her.
238
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,138
My L-F-C-U-M-E-B-M.
239
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,713
L-F-C-U-M-E-B-M?
240
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,782
Least favorite cousin unless
Maeve ever betrays me.
241
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,721
Back from the dumb
auto mechanic class
242
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,220
that I'm never going back to.
243
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,062
Flowers? Bubbly?
244
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,758
Normani Off Balance sneakers
that you wear on your hands?
245
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:05,732
- You got the job! Oh, my God!
- Yes! Come here!
246
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,103
Oh, yay!
247
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,266
Yeah, yeah. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
248
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,511
Okay, okay. Okay.
249
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,084
Now that we're all
in such a good mood,
250
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,748
Maeve has something
she'd like to say.
251
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,845
Harper, I just want you to know.
252
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,748
I am so happy for you!
253
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,618
Oh, you know what we need?
254
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,060
A champagne shower.
255
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,485
No, no, no! That bottle
cost more than my...
256
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,190
Oh, I actually have
a strategy meeting
257
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:33,837
with Double Dutch in the studio,
so I can't celebrate right now.
258
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,221
Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah. That's smart.
259
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,932
Who do we think we
are, the Chicago Bulls?
260
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,800
- So, no champy shou shou?
261
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,099
Oh, no, go ahead, just
don't get any on me.
262
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,071
Oh, yeah, do Spencer.
263
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,140
- Yas!
264
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,452
New plan.
265
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,519
We never tell Harper
I faked my kidnapping.
266
00:11:58,618 --> 00:11:59,918
I don't want to be the new Roxy.
267
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:03,360
Fantastic. We go on
happily living our lives.
268
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,086
You and I in romantic bliss,
269
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:08,232
and Harper working her
dream job with Double Dutch.
270
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,547
- Are you...?
- Double Dutch?
271
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:28,545
The singer/producer/cult icon,
272
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,878
once described by Pitchfork as
273
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,194
"the most innovative
star to be born
274
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,116
in the year 1994."
275
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:38,132
No shade to Bieber,
but where is the lie?
276
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,125
Yes. C'est moi.
277
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,758
In the flesh.
278
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,803
I'm here for my strategy
meeting with Harper.
279
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,299
I guess, uh, on-the-rise
pop stars don't knock.
280
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,742
We don't.
281
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,438
But tell me about
this fake kidnapping.
282
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,009
And use a three-act structure,
283
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,477
a proper hero's
journey, if you will.
284
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,276
Uh, or, or
285
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:01,208
how about none of us speak
a word about the kidnapping?
286
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,854
Oh, I won't speak a word.
287
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,120
Okay.
288
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,245
But I do love to sing.
289
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,630
Okay, plan A,
290
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,743
I somehow keep Double Dutch
from spilling the beans.
291
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,437
Oh, well, then what's plan B?
292
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,265
We go to Honduras
293
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,911
under the names Terrence
and Felicity Tacoma.
294
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,907
We settle in the small
town of La Esperanza.
295
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,807
We grow peaches
296
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,952
and teach basket-weaving
to the children.
297
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,894
I like peaches, but
let's start with plan A.
298
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:45,059
I don't trust that Wes, and
I don't need that class.
299
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,258
I already have the greatest
teacher in the world:
300
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,500
The Internet.
301
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,125
If I can install
my own ceiling fan,
302
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,100
I can tune up my car.
303
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,529
Great idea, Carly.
304
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,903
I'm sure a 30-second TikTok
can fix this death trap.
305
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,107
Millicent might have a point.
306
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,976
Freddie, just hand me
that, uh, twisty thingy.
307
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,680
- Okay. This is no big deal.
- All right.
308
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,720
- No! Ah. No.
- Whoa. Hey! I got you!
309
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,886
- Come on.
310
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,885
- Son of a...!
311
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,815
You know what? That's okay.
312
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,034
I've almost got it.
313
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,485
Freddie, go check
the spark plugs.
314
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,692
- All right.
- Millicent, start him up!
315
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,108
- Oh!
316
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,899
Millicent, stop that!
317
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,141
Then you two stop cussing.
318
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,365
Ooh!
319
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,313
Okay. I've got it.
320
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,650
Wow. Should I start
my own auto shop?
321
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,315
No, no, no, no!
322
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,988
Vin Diesel, are you okay?
323
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,957
Carly, you need to
call a real mechanic.
324
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,116
- Never in a million...
325
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:57,801
- Hand me my phone.
- Okay. Hold this.
326
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,918
Vin Diesel is dying, and
I need you to save him.
327
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,484
I don't care how much it costs.
328
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,519
I'll buy every shock exacerbater
in this town if I have to.
329
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,253
Carly, I told you
when we first met,
330
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,905
you shouldn't be
driving this car, okay?
331
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,154
It-it isn't safe.
332
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,325
Why don't you just
get a new one?
333
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,919
Because I...
334
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,748
I just can't, okay?
335
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,422
I can't give up on this car.
336
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:22,691
I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
337
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,459
- And called me names.
- Yes. Right.
338
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:25,834
And should've listened
to me from the start.
339
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,658
Oh. True, I know,
that's why I called you.
340
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,100
I am sorry for all those things.
341
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:33,167
But I am begging
you, Wes, please,
342
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,866
will you save Vin Diesel?
343
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,769
Okay. I will try.
344
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,541
I'm gonna need you
to do more than try.
345
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,652
: Actually,
trying's fine. You do you.
346
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:48,245
Thank you, Wes.
347
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,948
But do it.
348
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,687
The birds represent capitalism.
349
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,056
And the white woman represents
350
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,486
well, nothing.
351
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,430
- She's just having a bad day.
- Mm-mm.
352
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,256
No birds.
353
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,231
If I can't fly, no one
should be allowed to.
354
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:11,395
Who's ready for teatime?
355
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,872
Spencer, what are you doing?
356
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,484
Oh, I just thought you
and Dutch might enjoy
357
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,038
a formal tea service.
358
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,414
And you were right. Give me
one of them hot hand towels.
359
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,312
- Ooh.
- Oh, anything for you, Harper,
360
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,184
and your boss, whose voice is
361
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,023
like a classically-trained
instrument
362
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,588
that she should rest,
363
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,086
which is why I brought the tea.
364
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,688
Ooh. No, thank you.
365
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,029
I don't like beverages that
start with the letter "T."
366
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,485
I'm looking at you, tonic water.
367
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,355
Okay. Thank you, Spencer. Bye.
368
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,834
: No!
369
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,967
This look represents
the struggle between...
370
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,906
Me and Spencer, apparently.
371
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,579
What is happening and why?
372
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,849
Oh. I just need to do
a few repairs in here.
373
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,318
Is that disruptive?
374
00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:00,117
Yeah, why don't you just
stop the presentation
375
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,090
and then email the
slides to Dutch.
376
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,689
Who else loves this idea?
377
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,160
I don't.
378
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,858
I would like the
hammering to stop
379
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,959
and for the presentation
to continue but better.
380
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,699
Get out. Now.
381
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,972
: All right. Okay.
382
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,871
Oh, no! Oh!
383
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,683
I guess I should stay
and clean this up.
384
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:26,075
- Oh.
- How's it going in here?
385
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,249
I spilled the tea.
386
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,448
Oh, Spencer.
387
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,550
Harper, I am so sorry that
I faked my kidnapping,
388
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,863
but at least now you know.
389
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,785
You what?
390
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,360
Oh. You meant...
391
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,730
If you'd let me sing it,
392
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,928
at least you would've
gotten a hit out of it.
393
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,801
It's only been three hours
394
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,572
of waiting on Wes
to fix Vin Diesel.
395
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,541
How did you handle waiting
four years for Maeve?
396
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,411
By doing everything I could
to find that betrayer.
397
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,250
You know what, yeah,
that's a good idea.
398
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:00,746
Keep busy. Give me
some more ideas.
399
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,577
Okay. I took out ads
in the newspaper,
400
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,693
I made the hashtag
"Save Maeve" go viral,
401
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,786
I even recorded a charity
single that went to number 27
402
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:13,289
on the iTunes chart for
songs about missing cousins.
403
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,233
I don't want to do any of that.
404
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,200
Okay.
405
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,929
Give it to me straight.
406
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,303
Did he make it?
407
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,212
I did everything I
could, but I'm sorry.
408
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,105
Vin Diesel's gone.
409
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,877
- Oh, no.
- Oh.
410
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,505
- Oh, my God.
- Carly, stay with me.
411
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,781
Just because he's gone
doesn't mean you are, too.
412
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,645
I just can't believe it.
413
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,389
I mean, he was only 50.
414
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:39,685
We never even got to take
415
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,226
that cross-country
road trip together
416
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,794
that we always talked about.
417
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:46,330
Uh, hey, I might be
overstepping here,
418
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:49,196
but could this be about
more than just a car?
419
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:53,426
It's okay, you can tell me.
Mechanic-client privilege.
420
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,974
My best friend
Sam and I saved up
421
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,439
and bought Vin Diesel together
when I was in college.
422
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,539
She's actually the
one who named him.
423
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,411
We went everywhere in that car.
424
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,551
Road trips to Snoqualmie Falls,
425
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,716
the exotic jerky emporium
over the border in Idaho,
426
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,816
out to the forest to
search for bigfoot.
427
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:15,049
- Did you ever find him?
- Uh, it's a long story.
428
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,724
: But yes.
429
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,256
A couple years ago,
Sam moved away,
430
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:22,901
and I just really miss her.
431
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,825
But whenever I'm
inside Vin Diesel, I...
432
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,772
Okay, I'm just gonna say
"my car" from now on.
433
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:33,938
Driving my car, it just helps
me feel connected to Sam.
434
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,340
I know it sounds silly.
435
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,482
No, it's not.
436
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,177
What's silly is
having a connection
437
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,949
and not appreciating it.
438
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:44,717
What's silly is lying
to someone for years
439
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,695
and then telling the truth
to your brand-new boyfriend
440
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,859
before your best friend/cousin!
441
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,655
What's silly
442
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:56,456
is faking your own kidnapping.
443
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:59,903
Like, who does that?
Maeve, that's who.
444
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,399
Maeve.
445
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:09,105
So, there's, like, a whole
other thing going on here.
446
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,578
Mind your business.
447
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,182
Anyway, thanks for
trying to save my car.
448
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,753
Uh, here. Let me see.
449
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,791
- How much do I owe you?
- No. Nothing.
450
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,757
Put it toward your new car.
451
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,986
I don't know.
452
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,361
I wasn't really driving a
whole lot lately anyway.
453
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,530
That
454
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,130
gets a little tired.
455
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,739
Uh, well, maybe you
don't need a car.
456
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:39,206
For example, if you had
a date on Saturday night,
457
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:42,006
I bet he would be totally
happy to come pick you up.
458
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,908
A hypothetical date?
459
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,580
Well, where is he
hypothetically taking me?
460
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:50,649
Anywhere you
hypothetically want to go.
461
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:59,294
I believe it was Sir Edmond
Dellingsworth who said,
462
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,692
- "What is a circle?"
- Boo!
463
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,704
Lose the sheet already.
464
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,226
All right, all right.
465
00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,372
I just wanted to say
something with some gravitas.
466
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:10,467
Behold my latest piece!
467
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:12,414
Wow.
468
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:15,440
Is this Vin Diesel?
469
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:16,842
Yep!
470
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,783
I took Carly's old
car, repainted him,
471
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,478
and turned it into a new Seat
of Sitting for the studio.
472
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,021
Try saying that five times fast.
473
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,875
: New Seat of
Sitting for the studio.
474
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,517
New Seat of Sitting
for the studio.
475
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:27,979
New Seat of Sitting
for the studio.
476
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,380
New Seat of Sitting
for the studio.
477
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,733
New Seat of Sitting
for the studio.
478
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,357
Yeah, not that hard, dude.
479
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,829
Oh, my God. Spencer,
this is amazing.
480
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:36,027
Aw.
481
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,528
My car and I had so
many good memories,
482
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,901
and now we get to make more.
483
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:44,669
Our secret gum
wad's still there.
484
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,611
- Ew.
- Ew.
485
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,384
Sam used this once to keep
our seat belts together.
486
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:49,908
And another time I used it
487
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:51,939
to keep my toes apart
after a pedicure.
488
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:56,416
You know, um, Carly
getting a second chance
489
00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:59,516
with her car is making
me a little jealous.
490
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:01,619
Oh, 'cause all our
cars got repossessed
491
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,061
when we lost our money.
492
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,315
Well, thanks for ruining
this special moment.
493
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:06,725
I'm sad now.
494
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:09,556
No, because she gets
to make more memories.
495
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,732
And I want that for us.
496
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,871
Harper, I am so sorry
I didn't tell you.
497
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,436
I just didn't know how.
498
00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:20,605
If it means anything, "Save
Maeve" was my ringtone.
499
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:24,137
It was a tastefully
mournful bop.
36376
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