All language subtitles for Cartoon Hell s02e06 Absolute Worst Dragons

♪ Caldwell and Nathan
are two cartoonists ♪

♪ They love to draw, but
they're not too smart ♪

♪ So they sold their
souls to the TV devil ♪

♪ For a cartoon show
that features their art ♪

♪ They all shook hands and drank a toast ♪

♪ Neither could believe
their newfound luck ♪

♪ But then on the way to the studio ♪

♪ They were both flattened
down by a hot dog truck ♪

♪ Now in some ironic twist ♪

♪ They're in Hell forever
and they get this ♪

♪ They gotta make a show ♪

♪ That they think is gonna sell ♪

♪ If they ever wanna
get out Cartoon Hell ♪

(flames whooshing)

- Hey Nathan, what's your
favorite fantastical beast

that lurks within the realms of Hell?

- Ooh.

I think my favorite one has
got to be the Insult Fairy.

- Oh!

I love that little fella.

- When you spend your whole
day being physically tortured,

sometimes a little mental
anguish is actually a relief.

- Mm-hmm.

I really like Crummy Reynolds.

- Oh, Crummy Reynolds, yeah.

- He does just leave crumbs around

and he tickles your ankles as you walk by

from a sewer grate.

- Right, you see Crummy Reynolds coming,

and you're just like, aw, there he is.

- Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, you guys talking about
Crummy Reynolds in there?

- Oh yeah, you know him?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, great guy.

Funny dude, killed my wife.

Anyway, we got a topic this week.

(both laughing)

This suggestion is from The
Guys, comma, Yes That One.

You know.

- Whoa, that one?
- Yeah, that one.

- Oh, that one!

- [Managar] His suggestion is:

Please draw the absolute worst dragons.

- Whoa.
- Huh.

- And, I wasn't sure about this,

but when word got out that we
have such esteemed animators.

- Ooh, yeah.
- In our presence.

- Oh, thank you.

- Holly-weird got involved.

(Caldwell laughs)
- Oh no!

- And so one of Hell's
biggest celebrities,

he screams, he claws, he acts,
the triple-threat himself,

Matt Demon is actually coming over

because he wants to be
a voice in this project.

- Oh my goodness, Matt Demon?

- Yeah!

- I love hearing his shrieks

emanating from various caves around Hell.

I'm a big fan.

- Yeah, I've got his trading card.

- Matt, come on in.

We're ready for ya.

- Hey, it's me, Matt Demon.

- Oh my god!
- Oh my goodness!

- Or if that doesn't get
past legal, Donald Demon.

(both laughing)
Or just call me,

just call me Mr. Demon.

That's all you need to call me by.

(both laughing)

- Oh, Mr. Demon, yes, of course.

I mean, I would never presume

to call you by your first name, sir.

- Actually, I didn't like that name.

My name is Thomas, Thomas Demon now.

(both laughing)
Thomas Demon.

- Oh, man.

- It's the key to celebrity,
to always reinvent yourself.

This is the difference
between stars and idiots.

- You know what I'm feeling right now?

- Yup.
- Yeah.

- Raphael Demon.

- Wow, drawing for a celebrity.

So this is gonna be your tour-de-force.

- Now, I've got some concerns here.

We're drawing the absolute worst dragons?

Why would I wanna voice the worst dragon?

- I think it's kind of
like the sympathy angle.

It's like the ugly
duckling, the worst dragon.

Maybe this dragon is awful,

but he'll find that maybe he's got

what counts on the inside.

- [Matt] I mean, if I
wanna go for an Oscar,

the uglier, and the sicklier,
the better, I think.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I can do that.

- [Managar] Ooh, that's a good angle.

- [Matt] I want this to be
the Oscar-baitiest dragon

you could possibly draw, the
most sympathetic, disgusting,

sickly-looking dragon possible.

- [Caldwell] This is already great.

It already looks like it's got

at least two different strains of the flu.

So are we thinking for this all animated,

or you've got the sickly, ugly dragon,

and then maybe everyone
else is just live-action?

- [Matt] Okay, so kinda like
a Roger Rabbit kinda thing?

- [Caldwell] Yeah, exactly.

- [Matt] Okay, okay.

- [Nathan] And again,

when we feed these cartoons
into Cartoon-O-Tron,

they are just sort of animated
however they're gonna be.

- Yeah, we are all subject to
Cartoon-O-Tron's mighty whims,

but for the pitch document,

we can say it'll be a live action romp

with a big CG dragon, or maybe a 2D,

maybe there's more of a
Pete's Dragon sort of thing,

if Pete's Dragon kinda sucked.

And maybe all the other kids
got really cool dragons,

and then, our main character

gets stuck with this ugly dragon.

- This shitty, sickly dragon.

- Exactly, but maybe the shitty,
sickly dragon has a secret

that will help him win the
big dragon competition.

- [Nathan] Okay, so this is a world

where there's competitive
dragon competitions.

- [Caldwell] I feel good about that.

Mr. Demon, what are you thinking?

How is this developing for you, thus far?

- I'm thinking, he's gotta have
some kind of hidden talent.

I'm thinking maybe he's a
really great tap dancer.

(Caldwell laughs)
- Just that.

That's his calling.

You look at this sickly, disgusting,

little piece of shit dragon,

but then you find out he's
just an amazing goddamn dancer.

- [Caldwell] Oh gosh, yeah.

And it's hard because the
only reason you didn't know

is 'cause they don't make
tap dancing shoes that big.

- [Matt] Right, yeah.

And once he meets this custom shoemaker,

he's like, listen kid,

I'm gonna make 'em for you,
I'm gonna make you a star.

You're gonna dance on that stage.

We haven't decided a name for this dragon?

- [Caldwell] Oh, absolutely.

Hmm, all right.

My first thought was Sicko.

I don't think that's good.
- Sicko? Okay, okay,

We should start from there, Sicko, yeah.

- Dragons usually have
exes in their names,

like Newmanex or Parthenex or--

- Alcatrax.
- Mucinex.

(Caldwell laughs)

- Mucin--
- I like that!

- Is that an existing product? (laughs)

It sounds like it could be.
- I think it is, yeah.

- We could get a branding deal on that.

- [Nathan] Let me take that,

and twist it, just a little bit.

What about Snox?

- [Caldwell] Oh, I like
Snox 'cause he likes snacks,

but he's also full of snot.

- [Matt] It could be.

How 'bout that's his
first name, Snox Mucinex?

- Absolutely!
- All right.

- [Caldwell] But nobody
knows the dragon's full name

because obviously, if
they knew the full name,

they would have dominion over the dragon.

- [Matt] Oh, is that how that works?

- [Caldwell] Yeah, well,
I think we're gonna have

to follow pretty strict
standard dragon rules.

- Okay.
- For the show.

- [Managar] I mean, you
can either know his name,

or you can just like,
he's kind of a pushover.

It's very easy to have
dominion over this guy.

- Yeah, there's two ways
to control a dragon:

knowing their full, true
name, or peer pressure,

one of the two.

- [Matt] So I notice there's
a shoe on the tail here.

Is that for extra percussion,
like an extra beat?

- Well, you mentioned that

his feet are too big to wear tap shoes,

so I think they only way
this dragon can tap dance

is with his tail.

- [Matt] Oh, okay.

- [Managar] That was actually a novel bit

of visual problem solving.

- [Nathan] (laughs) Thank you.

- [Managar] I'm sorry I called you

a worthless sack of maggots.

(Nathan laughs)

Repeatedly, behind your back.

- You sent us a Hallmark
card that said that.

It was very thoughtful.

- [Caldwell] You're just doing
your job, Managar. (laughs)

- [Nathan] I like this.

It's like at the end of the movie,

all the dragons are tail-tapping,

and then there's like a
big Riverdance number.

- [Caldwell] Happy Tails.

- [Matt] So he's like, listen,

there's not just one way to tap dance.

Look guys, we can all tap dance,

and then there's a huge
musical number at the end,

they're all tapping in
time with their tails,

I can see that.

- [Caldwell] Yeah.

- Oh, you gotta have a
big dumb musical number

at the end of your children's movie.

Otherwise, how are the dumb
families supposed to know

that they had a good time?

- Exactly.
(Caldwell laughs)

Now, can I ask for one little change here?

- [Caldwell] Oh, absolutely, yeah.

You're the star here.

We are but servants.

- [Matt] So I really wanna feel

the character's progression in real time,

so I notice he looks pretty down here,

but I'd like you to keep his eyes set,

but just give him a little smile,

(Caldwell laughs)

So that it's like you just notice that,

oh, tap dancing with my tail.

Like hey, this isn't.

Yeah, there we go!

There we--
- All right!

(guys laughing)

- [Nathan] That was a very good note.

- [Matt] I can see that his day

is just brightened considerably.

- [Caldwell] Now, do you think
that there are other games

that the other dragons play
that Snox is not good at

and that's why tap dancing
is such a boon for him?

- I think that they all
love to play street hockey.

(both laughing)

But, he's just not so good at it.

- Right.

- [Matt] And so he's like,
how can I show those guys,

and then he takes, puts
his little shoe on,

and then the little
smile creeps on his face,

and he's like oh, I think
I got something here.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, when
he plays street hockey

with the other dragons,
he's always taking the ball,

and juggling it, and tapping it around,

and they're like no,
that's too much finesse!

- [Matt] No, too percussive!

Come on!
(Nathan laughs)

- [Managar] Street hockey's a great sport

'cause it's the only way you
know when watching a movie

that the screenplay was
written by a Canadian guy.

(everyone laughs)

Everyone's just like, oh boy,
it's time for street hockey,

this common pastime we all share.

(Nathan laughs)

- [Caldwell] I like these little wings

that you've given him, Nathan.

- [Nathan] Yeah, I think
that's just something

that a lot of bad dragons designs have,

'cause there are plenty of bad
dragons in popular culture.

- [Caldwell] Sure.

- [Nathan] I think any time
you make a dragon cute,

that's pretty bad.
- Yeah.

- [Nathan] So I tried to make
it both cute, and sickly.

- [Matt] But that's gonna get 'em.

That's gonna get the audience's heart.

That's what I'm looking for.

- [Caldwell] Yeah.

So this is Snox, the sickly dragon

who learns to tap dance.

Gosh, what a story!

- [Managar] Aw, I wanna
feed him a can of Ensure.

I'm so worried about his health.

- [Caldwell] Give him some
vitamins, he needs some Cintrex.

- Considering his name is Snox,

I think we might need a little more snot.

- Okay, yeah.
- And by a little more,

I mean a considerable amount more.

- [Caldwell] I mean, he is a dragon,

so he's gonna be hoarding something

and I think that in this
instance, it's gonna be snot.

- [Nathan] Oh, okay, yeah.

- [Caldwell] He's just sort
of on a hoard of his own snot.

- [Nathan] Yeah, yeah,
yeah, a big booger mound.

- [Caldwell] Oh, yo,
maybe that's how the youth

that befriends Snox finds
him in the first place.

- [Nathan] Oh, they follow the trail?

- [Caldwell] Yeah.

Well, his friends are daring
him to go into Booger Cave.

- [Matt] And he follows the booger trail,

and straight to the snot hoarder.

(Nathan laughs)

- [Managar] At the end of the movie,

Snox is like, you've earned my trust.

You are now entitled to my treasure.

(Caldwell laughs)

And the kid's like, ah, I'm good.

- I don't want it.

No, you can keep it.

- [Caldwell] Ooh!

Mr. Demon, I love that voice!

- [Matt] Oh, thank you so much.

- Now, I have a proposition.
- Yo?

- [Caldwell] Do you
think you could just do

all the voices in the movie?

- [Matt] Oh, I won't do the movie

unless I do every single
voice in the movie.

That's in the contract, yeah.

- [Caldwell] That's great.

- [Matt] Should I give Snox here a voice?

- Oh yeah!
- Oh yeah, absolutely.

- [Matt] Now, I'm no writer,

so I'm gonna need
someone to feed me a line

for Snox Mucinex here.

- [Caldwell] It just keeps coming.

I don't control the snot.

It just flows out of me.

- Okay.

(clears throat)

It just keeps coming.

It's like, the snot just
keeps coming out of me.

(both laughing)

It just keeps coming out, over and over!

- [Caldwell] Does anyone
else have another line?

I really wanna explore this a little more.

- [Managar] How about you
don't understand what it's like

to be me, always moist, always crying?

- You don't understand
what it's like to be me!

Always moist, always crying!

- [Nathan] Yeah, I don't know
what else I can add to this.

Caldwell, do you wanna get
in here and add a character?

- [Caldwell] Yeah.

- [Matt] We need to have a rival

street hockey expert character.

- [Caldwell] Oh, yeah.

- [Matt] Who's the villain of the piece.

- [Caldwell] Like a real Chet Dragon.

- What if we make him a
magnificent looking dragon,

but his character is just the worst?

(both laughing)

- Bravo.

- [Matt] You just look at
this guy, and you're like,

what a handsome looking, amazing dragon,

but just, what a bad person.

- [Caldwell] Yeah.

So I'm drawing a rival dragon?

- Right.
- Okay.

I do think it's still
gonna have small wings.

I like that it's kind of a trademark.

- Okay.
- Of this series.

- [Matt] Oh yeah.

We gotta have consistency in
the world, that's important.

- [Caldwell] It's a house style.

I'm gonna just rough in the body here.

Okay. Now, do we wanna come up with a name

for this dragon while I'm doing that?

- [Matt] Chet was a good start.

- [Caldwell] Chet's not bad.

- [Nathan] Drake?

- [Caldwell] Oh, Drake!

We could also just do Drake,
that feels pretty good.

Or do we wanna follow the X
naming system that we set up?

- Oh, okay.

Chet, Chet Texas.

(Caldwell laughs)

- Chet Texanex.

- Chet, Chet TexMex.

(everyone laughs)

- [Managar] It's a very heroic title.

You messed with Chet
TexMex for the last time!

- [Caldwell] Now, do you
think that this dragon

is so buff that his head is kind of,

he's got a small little dragon head,

but his his body is just swollen so much?

- [Nathan] This is a big, beefy body.

- [Matt] I mean, he's been
playing a lot of street hockey.

You're gonna get built,
you're gonna get jacked.

- [Nathan] Yeah.

- [Caldwell] No sport will
get you jacked quicker--

- [Caldwell And Matt] Than street hockey.

- [Matt] Of course.

- [Managar] I'm warning
you right now, Caldwell,

I am keeping my many eyes peeled

to make sure there is no hint
of anthro-subculture in this.

(Caldwell laughs)

We got enough sexy issues
with your last creation.

- [Caldwell] You can't stop me, dude.

- [Matt] I don't know.

That's a demographic I
think we could go for.

I mean, we all saw Zootopia, right?

I could go for some of that.

- You give me half a chance,
I'ma freak it, make it fucky.

That's just my MO, dog.

- We're already in Hell.

- You know what?

We're already in Hell,
can you make this fuckier?

(both laughing)
I mean, really fucky.

- I mean, whatever Mr. Demon says.

- Oh, what if his name is Chet Fux,

(Caldwell laughs hysterically)
with an X?

- Chet Fux is good.

- Chet Fux is very good.

- But it's gotta be like, F-U-X.

- [Caldwell] Yeah.

And here's the thing,
his middle name: Trux.

- Chet Trux Fux.
- Chet Trux Fux.

(Caldwell laughs)

- [Managar] Dear God!

It's not even a finished drawing,

and I wanna give it my lunch money.

How is this possible?

(Nathan and Caldwell laughing)

- [Caldwell] Now Mr. Demon,

would you mind trying a
Southern accent sort of thing

for Chet Trux Fux?

- [Matt] So like a
sexy, Southern beef boy?

- [Caldwell] Yeah, sexy Southern beef boy.

My favorite sausage brand, yes.

(everyone laughs)

- [Matt] All right.

Well, gimme a line.

Actually, I think we need to define

the character a little more

before we go into the voice for this.

- [Caldwell] Yeah.

Okay, you're right.

- [Matt] I need to derive
inspiration from the art.

- [Nathan] So Chet Fux is the captain

of the street hockey team, obviously.

- [Caldwell] Oh wait, I
guess I gotta give him.

I'll give him a street hockey
stick in this hand. (laughs)

- [Matt] There was that whole
part to his character, yeah.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, he plays
lots of street hockey,

is very, very vocal about...

(everyone giggling)

- [Managar] I'm sorry, it's just the image

of anyone in a cowboy hat,
holding a hockey stick.

It's so funny and I don't know why.

- [Caldwell] I just need to clarify

that this does take place in Montana.

It's like, they should not
be playing street hockey.

- [Matt] Can you give
him two hockey sticks?

Just, one in each hand?
- Mm-hmm.

- [Matt] He just needs to show just

how serious about street hockey--

- [Nathan] Yeah, the dual wields.

- [Caldwell] Oh, and that's his technique.

- [Matt] Right.

- [Caldwell] He dual wields
on the street hockey field.

And everyone's like, you
can't do that, that's illegal.

And he's like, I'm Chet
Fux, I do whatever I want.

- [Matt] My middle name is Trux.

And they're like, oh,
that's a good point, yeah.

(Caldwell laughs) We'll let
you do whatever you want.

- [Caldwell] He's got us there. (laughs)

- Can we get a I'm Chet
Fux, I do whatever I want?

- [Matt] I'm Chet Fux,
I do whatever I want.

- Oh!
- Oh my god, yeah.

No one's saying no to that.

- No one's saying no to that.

I'm Chet Fux, my middle name is Trux.

- [Caldwell] I'm gonna
give him sunglasses.

- [Nathan] Yeah! (laughs)

He doesn't take the sunglasses off.

- [Matt] Did you get that inspiration

from the voice I just gave him?

- [Caldwell] I did, actually.
- [Matt] I'm glad to hear it.

- [Caldwell] That's how good
of a voice actor you are.

I heard sunglasses in your delivery.

(Caldwell and Matt laughing)

Could you try it without sunglasses?

How would the voice sounds
without sunglasses on?

- Oh, without the sunglasses,
it sounds totally different.

I'm Chet Fux.

My middle name is Trux.

So you gotta have the sunglasses on.

- [Caldwell] The voice that you did

does sound like Chet Trux's
lackey sidekick character.

- [Matt] That's true.

- [Caldwell] Which, I guess their name

would be like Golfcart?

(guys laughing)

- [Matt] Now, if we were to draw this,

I imagine it would be like an Iago,

parrot-sized, little dragon.

- [Caldwell] Oh yeah.

- [Matt] Right on his shoulder.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, I'll kinda draw him

peeking out right here.
- Right, right, right.

- [Caldwell] And he's just,

I think he's got a big old mouth.

Yeah, this is Golfcart.

(Matt laughing)

- (laughs manically) You tell 'em!

You tell 'em, Chet.

- Yeah, you!

You tell 'em, Chet!

(guys laughter)

You tell 'em!

(guys laughing)

- [Caldwell] Oh boy!

(Nathan laughing)

- [Matt] How did you
know I had those teeth

envisioned in my mind?

That's incredible!

- [Nathan] This is a good show!

Guys, we're making a good
show about bad dragons.

Now, I do like, just this
one dragon, has hair.

- [Caldwell] Well, I think this is a worm.

- [Nathan] Oh okay, this
is more of a Wyvern?

- [Caldwell] Yeah, exactly.

- [Nathan] I transferred
from the Wyvern School.

(guys laughing)

I dropped out of the Wyvern School.

I'm a lowly cobold!

- [Caldwell] Now, Nathan,
I know we're gonna need

to feed this into the
Cartoon-O-Tron pretty soon,

but did do you wanna draw the young boy

that Snox befriends at some point?

- [Managar] Fuck that noise!

That young boy?

You don't know nothing about cartoons!

Thank god I'm here! Oh my god!
- What do we need?

- [Caldwell] Managar, what are we missing?

- [Managar] You need the girly
dragon for Snox to get with,

thus proving that he has gone from zero

to guy who gets kissed sometimes.

- Oh.
- And also,

we established that it's a live action,

humans in a Roger Rabbit-esque universe.

- [Caldwell] So do you think

that Snox gets a human girlfriend?

(guys laughing)

- [Matt] I think that Snox starts out

with a human girlfriend

but she breaks up with him
because he's disgusting.

- Right.
- But then,

he falls in love with a dragon girlfriend,

and we need to make sure that they know

that this dragon is female.

I mean, she's got a bow on,

and she has eyelashes, and breasts.

- [Caldwell] So that's what's gonna be bad

about this dragon.

- [Matt] Oh yes.

- [Caldwell] Just that
it's a stereotypical.

Okay, cool, cool cool.

- [Matt] You know how in
every video game ever,

the male parts of the
race look super monstrous

and the females look basically like humans

but with wings?

I think that's what we gotta go for,

the worst possible female dragon design.

- [Managar] I mean, there's
nothing I love more than

sometimes I'll just see
a lizard on the sidewalk

and pick it up and gender it.

- Yeah!
(guys laughing)

- Okay, so I'm drawing a female dragon.

- [Matt] And I'm talking like,
it's basically a human lady

but with slightly dragon-esque features.

- [Nathan] Okay.

Let's start with the dragon features.

- [Matt] Okay.

- [Nathan] And I guess we'll
just sort of work our way back.

- [Caldwell] Now you are
going with the long neck.

I like that.

- [Nathan] Yeah, and I think that maybe

the female dragons just
have full-sized wings.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- In this world.
- Okay.

- [Caldwell] Get a look at those wings!

- [Matt] She is considerably
bigger than any of them,

is that a conscious decision as well?

- [Nathan] Well, I think
he's pretty small--

- [Matt] Gotcha.

- [Managar] Malnourished, if you will.

- [Nathan] Yeah.

And so the lesson here,

it's that just by changing
one thing about yourself,

you automatically win the girl as a prize.

(Caldwell laughs)

That's sort of what's bad about this.

- [Caldwell] Oh yeah, that's
real bad, that's a bad lesson.

- [Nathan] Yeah.

- [Caldwell] Now Nathan,
I see you're coming up

on this face here.

You've built in a hooked nose.

I was really hoping that it could just be

a human celebrity's face.

- Okay.
- Ooh, yes.

- I think that's one way to go with this.

I, here's the thing.

- Yeah?
- I don't know

if I wanna do that.

(guys laughing)

- [Matt] Straight to the
point, I admire that.

- [Nathan] I think this is
just what she looks like.

- [Caldwell] I do like the
pushback that you've given here.

Against drawing a gendered dragon,

I think that this is probably
gonna be the right way

to go in the long run.

- [Nathan] Look, we've gendered
all of the male dragons

to look like dudes,

I think the female dragons
can just look like dragons.

- [Caldwell] I like that.

- [Matt] I'm sorry,

there are just some things
I cannot compromise on.

She needs to have big, red lips.

(guys laughing)

She has to have big red lips,
and big, long eyelashes.

I'm not gonna sign off on these designs

until it's slightly gendered.

- [Caldwell] Can we compromise?

Have her lips be red from the blood

of a giant moose that she just ate?

- [Matt] I don't like compromising!

I'm a Hollywood, or I'm a Hellywood actor.

(laughs) Get it?

I'm a Hellywood actor
here, but you know what?

It's gotta be a lot of blood then.

I'm talking just disgusting amount of,

like, it's dripping on Snox down there.

- [Caldwell] Oh yeah.

- [Nathan] Does this dragon
speak, or does it just shriek?

- [Matt] I'm thinking
she just shrieks, yeah.

- [Managar] But everyone treats her

like she's still the cute, desirable girl?

- [Matt] One concern I have

is this is not fitting worst dragon.

This just looks like a
great dragon right here.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, this
dragon is really cool, Nathan.

- [Matt] And so, I'm gonna
double down on we need eyelashes.

- [Managar] Or just a big, dumb bow?

- And a big, not or--

- Oh!
- And a big dumb bow.

- Okay, hold on.

- Yeah.
- I got it.

- [Caldwell] What's in this palm?

- [Nathan] She's got a severed head.

- [Caldwell] Okay. (laughs)

- [Nathan] And there's the eyelashes.

(guys laughing)

And the bow.

- [Matt] This is just
making her look cooler.

You are not following the directive

of the original prompt here.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna have
to fight you on this.

- Unfortunately, Nathan,
you're gonna have to wrap up,

because the crimson flame has alit

and Cartoon-O-Tron's inextricable march

towards us is happening.

Arise, Cartoon-O-Tron.

Grace us with your animated prowess.

- [Cartoon-O-Tron] I have one request.

- Uh-huh?

- Delete everything
that is not Chet Texas.

(Nathan laughs)

- Even Golfcart?

- Golfcart can hang.
- Okay.

- [Cartoon-O-Tron] Get
rid of that cool dragon.

That is way too cool.

And that snotty dragon,
that is also not very cool.

Get rid of him, and leave Chet Fux for me.

- Here you go, buddy.

Do with this what you will.

- [Cartoon-O-Tron] Oh yeah.

Come and get inside of me, Golfcart.

(whirring)

(playful cartoon music)

(dragon roars)

- You're leaving me for a real man?

You can't possibly mean him?

- That's right, chump.

You may be big and strong,
but true love only cares

about what is on the inside.

(dragon roars)

Oh, you didn't mean me?

(dragon roars)

You just don't find me attractive?

Sure, I understand.

- Well then, who is this other guy?

(playful pattering)

- Oh hey, y'all!

I see you've met my girlfriend
Gervanchilitis Scourge,

the knight's lament and kingdom's bane.

We met on Bumble.

(dragon roars)

Oh, sorry, did I say girlfriend?

I guess we aren't really trying

to put a label on things yet,

just enjoying each other's company,

and seeing how things go.

(dragon roars)

Oh right!

We gotta run and meet some
of Gervanchilitis' friends.

See you all later!

(epic music)

(dragons growling)
(Golfcart shouting)

Wow, this would be hot
if it wasn't so painful!

Ah, who am I kidding?

I'm super into this.

(dragons growling)
(Golfcart shouting)

- All right, so that was The Worst Dragon.

A lot of potential here.

Managar, Mr. Demon, what do you all think?

- Honestly, it was some
of your guys' best work.

I almost confused it
with an actual cartoon

made by people who aren't
horrifyingly cursed forever.

- Holy shit, goosebumps.
- It's kind of amazing

- Wow.

- Unfortunately, I think you guys know

what I'm about to say.

- Hmm.
- Huh?

- Nathan.
- Yeah?

- You defied an order
from our celebrity VIP.

- Oh.

- Listen, I admire your guts.

You stuck to your guns, but fuck that.

I wanted a Minnie Mouse assed,

horribly gendered female
dragon, stereotypical female!

Do you understand where
I'm coming from here?

A big-ass bow, you put
it on the fucking head.

This is some bullshit!

You have wasted my time.

I have never been more
insulted in my life.

- Oh.
- Hmm.

That was the last thing we
wanted, we're very sorry.

Would it help if we put
a tube skirt on Golfcart?

- As adorable as that would
be, I cannot accept this.

I'm walking away from the project.

- Dang it, we were so close.

- Ugh.
- That's showbiz, I guess.

- Nathan, Caldwell, you have failed us,

and therefore, your punishment will be

to drink this hideous flask
of liquid toxic masculinity.

- Oh, god, no!
- Oh, it's very bitter

and hurts the whole time, but
you can't complain about it.

- Bottoms up, I guess.

- Ugh.
- Ugh.

- [Nathan] This has been Cartoon Hell,

and we are here forever.

- Ugh.
- Oh, it's just dip.

I just realized that this is
just dip water we're drinking.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, this is just spit.

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