All language subtitles for The.Replacements.S01E06_English

[theme song plays]

♪ Todd and Riley were, oh, so sad ♪

♪ Then they came 'cross a Fleemco ad ♪

♪ They sent away a $1.98 ♪

♪ Got a superspy mom ♪

♪ And a daredevil dude of a dad ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ The replacements ♪

♪ Now anytime they come across adults ♪

♪ Who are sly and deny and deprive them ♪

♪ And make things bad ♪

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem]
Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, we need a replacement.

And fast.

♪ And anytime they wanna make a change ♪

♪ Modify and rearrange ♪

♪ Though it might get kinda strange ♪

♪ Make 'em better, nice
And strong and fast ♪

♪ And smart and cool and maybe even lame ♪

♪ Call in the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

♪ Just get the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

[man on TV] What do you get when you take
the world's ultimate gaming system,

double the price and add an extra button
for enhanced awesomeness?

Gamecone Four!
[echoing]

If you're ready for 512 bits
of thumb-numbing intensity,

throw your old video game systems
in the trash and tell your parents,

"If you love me, you'll buy me
Gamecone Four!" [echoing]

Who would fall for such
an obvious gimmick?

Dad, if you love me,
you'll buy me a Gamecone Four.

I would, son,
but someone hid the family checkbook

after I got duped by that
magic bean salesman.

Oh, magical jelly bean tree, my foot!

Sorry, Todd, we just bought you
a Gamecone Three.

But it has awesome games.

Like in this one, you're a spy
and travel to foreign countries

and battle evil spies.

Really? Then you're in luck.

You can join me this weekend

on my trip to Ingunaguay
to battle evil spies.

Oh, no, it wouldn't be the same.

Hey, Jacobo, I'm in a bad mood.

Want to go chuck rocks at that
hornet's nest in Shelton's garage?

Maybe later. Right now, I'm working on
this Downhill Derby car with my dad.

The big race is next week.

[scoffs] Downhill Derby.
That's the lamest thing I've ever heard.

First place gets a Gamecone Four.

Oh, son, I'm so honored
you asked me to help you

build your Downhill Derby racer.
This is gonna be so much fun.

Dad, these wheels keep falling off.

That's nothin' a few
rolls of duct tape won't fix.

Duct tape?
That's your answer for everything.

-Is not.
-[ripping sound]

Todd, if you need help with your racer,
I got an "A" in shop class.

A girl mechanic?
Come on, Riley.

I bet you wouldn't even
know where to put this crank jobber.

That's a steering wheel.

Hey, Dad, I guess this kit
did come with a steering wheel.

[Dick]
I'll get the duct tape.

It's perfect.

I don't know if this is right.
We have a couple extra parts left over.

Todd, we don't need any unnecessary
doohickeys slowin' us down.

Yes, which obviously explains why
you installed a toaster.

Hey, driver's gotta eat.

Time for our test run.

Now, son, if you reach the speed of sound,

be sure to plug your ears
for the sonic boom!

Good luck.

[rickety squeaking]

That went better than I expected.
The boy is still alive.

[tires squeal]

What a loser!
That Gamecone Four is mine!

Don't worry, son.
We just need a little more duct tape.

OK, a lot more duct tape.

[yells]

[beeping]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, I know this might
sound kinda shallow,

but, could I maybe, um...

temporarily replace my dad
with a good mechanic,

so I can win a totally awesome
Gamecone Four?

[Mr. Fleem] Todd, you want to replace your
own father to win a video game system?

Not just any system, sir.
Gamecone Four!

It has an extra button
for enhanced awesomeness!

[Mr. Fleem]
Well, if that's what you really want...

Me? Perform a stunt show
at the queen's jubilee?

That is quite an honor.

Oh, but I have plans with my son,
and I can't let him d... [grunts]

[Todd] He'll do it.

-But I didn't pack any underwear.
-I'll send it to you!

Todd, did you just do
what I think you did?

Temporarily replaced Dad
with an ace mechanic

to help me win the Downhill Derby

so I can get a totally awesome
Gamecone Four?

Oh... [chuckles]
That's ridiculous, Riley.

[doorbell rings]

Howdy, I'm ace mechanic Rusty Carville.

I'm here to help Todd
win the Downhill Derby.

Don't judge me.

Well, Rusty, as long as you're here,
let me show you the garage.

Is this our toaster?

Whoo-wee!

I've seen some mighty
ugly wrecks in my day,

but this one takes the cake.

I know, but she's still my sister.

-[laughing]
-Very funny.

I was going to help you,
but now you can forget it.

Cool, my very own pit crew.
I'll start on the sanding.

Sorry.
Jimbo here's doin' the sanding.

-OK, well, I'll check the tires.
-[Rusty] Sorry.

Got a tire guy. Went to tire college.
Graduated Summa Cum Radial.

-Well, what can I do?
-I'll tell you what.

You can be our official hammer watcher.

You just keep an eye on this here hammer
and make sure it don't go nowhere.

[sanding sounds]

[C.A.R.]
Brilliant work on that steering column.

I once got Dick Daring
to spend a whole week

trying to figure out
how to change my blinker fluid.

Blinker fluid! [laughs]
That's a good one.

Rusty, this is no fun.
Isn't there anything I can do?

Just keep watchin' that hammer.

Or what? A hammer burglar
will come here and take it?

Forget this, I'm outta here.

Hey, Mom, I got a problem.

[Agent K] Always remember,
the fun is in the process, not the prize.

Wow, that's good advice, but how did you--

-Never bite the hand that feeds you.
-OK, I wasn't planning on--

No matter how you slice it,
it's still shepherd's pie.

What? What's goin' on here?

"In my safe room
working on a secret project.

If you have any questions,
ask the cut-out. Love, Mom."

[groans]

Papi, building this racer with you
is the best.

I don't even care
if I win that Gamecone Four.

[speaking Spanish]

Oh, boy, Dad, even if I had the ability
to somehow replace you

with a real mechanic, I wouldn't do it.

[laughing]

[laughing]
Good kickin', son.

I love you, Dad!

Uh... Whoa!

[grunts]

[both laughing]

♪ Shoo be do do do ♪

[both laughing]

-Look out!
-[groans] That was close.

I could have really been hurt.

[roaring]

[both laughing]

[sighs]

[phone beeping]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello. Fleemco.

Sir, replacing my dad to win
a Gamecone Four was a big mistake.

I know it's too late to get him back,
but it's just no fun without him.

[Mr. Fleem]
Well, you can return Rusty,

but you won't have anyone
to help you win the race.

That's OK.
I don't want to win this way anyway.

-[alarm blaring]
-[yells]

[groans and sighs]

Things were a lot more fun
with my dad around.

[Dick] They sure were!

Dad! You're here!

-[engine sputters]
-Look out below!

Oh, smashing.

[both laughing]

But what about
your big stunt for the queen?

Well, I was warming up for my jump
when I saw something that really moved me.

Oh, son, building
this racer has been ever so joyous.

Come on, Mumsie,
let's have a go at the big hill.

-You walked out on her majesty?
-I needed to be with my son.

Plus, I never received
that underwear package

you were going to send me.

-Now what do you say we finish that racer?
-You bet, Dad!

Boy, I didn't realize
we left this thing in such bad shape.

Nothin' a little duct tape can't fix.

[crowd cheering]

Now, remember, son,
it's not about winning or losing.

It's about having fun.

What do you call that thing?
The doofus mobile? [laughs]

Doofus mobile.
I gotta start writin' these down.

Of course, it will be a lot more fun
when we beat that little brat.

Oops, almost forgot...

Racers on your mark!
Get set! Grow!

Sorry, I, Ace Palmero,
said "Grow," not "Go."

You're disqualified.

Ohh! Every year, ooh!

[Ace Palmero] OK, for real this time.
On your mark, get set, go!

Huh?

[groans]

[beeping]

[Buzz laughing]

[grunts]

Huh?

[groans]

Wha...?

Ehh...

[grunts]

-A-ha! [grunts]
-[gasps]

[Ace Palmero] This is gonna come down
to the wire, folks.

Can Todd Daring pull off
the seemingly impossible upset?

Apparently not!
The winner is... some girl!

Riley?

Yep, when you wouldn't let me help you
I decided to build my own racer with mom.

Congratulations, little lady.
Here's your Gamecone Four!

[crowd cheering]

Yay, this'll make a great paperweight.

Wow, Todd, did you realize
we could have won a Gamecone Four?

Oh, that would have been awesome.

[growling]

That's all right, Dad.

Buildin' this racer with you
was way more fun.

Now, what do you say
for next year's Derby

-we build a hovercar with no wheels.
-Cool!

Or how about we build a hovercar
with 100 wheels?

Or how about a car that transforms
into some kind of robotic dinosaur?

[Dick] I like your thinking.

Of course,
we'll need plenty of duct tape.

[both laughing]

[school bell ringing]

[grunts]

♪ La la la la
La la la la ♪

You know, I bet we'll be
the greatest cheerleaders ever!

Just so you know, Riley,
it's really hard to make the squad.

Miss Van Dorn is a perfectionist.

She was a minute late for practice once,

and she made herself
do three laps of the stadium.

At last year's tryouts
she said stuff so mean it made me cry,

and I wasn't even trying out.

Well, if she expects the best,
then that's just what we'll give her!

[whistle blows]

-Next!
-Sis-boom--

Blah! I've heard enough.

[groans and giggles]

Gimme an "A!"

[Miss Van Dorn]
Give me the next candidate.

-"V-I-C-T--"
-"I-M" What's it spell? Victim!

Number three, you're out of here.
Next!

[all grunting]

[laughs]

Beautiful triple axel
pyramid of pep, ladies.

You're all back on my squad.

[all cheer]

I can't believe it.

See you at the big game, Johnny.

Where I'll be courtside with you,
not in those nosebleed seats.

Miss Van Dorn totally just picked
all her old favorites for the new squad.

Sierra and her crew
aren't that much better than us.

-Seriously, we were totally good--
-Oww!

My parents just bought me that nose!

You know, I think Miss Van Dorn
is just an elitist.

We need a cheer coach
who will give everyone a chance.

[phone beeping]

[ringing]

[Mr. Fleem]
Hello, Fleemco.

[grunting]

Pyramids, yay!

Om...

I'm so happy!

We're here for the new
cheerleading tryouts!

Excellent, but there is
no trying here, only doing.

I'm your new cheerleading coach,
Sky Blossoms.

Are you ready to share
your spirit energy?

You mean, do our routine?
Sure, hit it, girls!

[grunts]

Oh, look, it's the triple axel
pyramid of pathetic.

You all have such
a wondrous frenetic energy.

You're on the squad.

We are?

I can't wait to tell my parents!

-Whoo-hoo!
-[ripping sound]

I can't believe we made the squad.

I can't believe how heavy your outfit is.

Is this the beekeeper club?

Phew... that was close.

Your wondrous, clumsy energy
moves me, young man.

You're on the squad.

Really? Oh, well, in that case then,
boys, you're free. Free!

Go with the flying!

Ohh...

Uh-oh!

We're so the queens of the school.

[gasping]

[Tasumi]
Looks like everyone is royalty now.

-Look, Johnny, I made the squad.
-Who said that?

Dude, you know those
come in pants, right?

Uh, you mean I shaved my legs for nothing?

That is weird.

That is a disgrace.
And that is just plain wrong.

Hobbly... [groans]

What's the matter, Sierra?
Can't stand the competition?

Competition?
As if.

You totally stink, Riley Daring.
You all do!

Miss Blossoms, you have ruined my squad!

Uh, your wondrous, angry energy moves me.
You're on the squad.

I'm already on the squad!

You're just mad because
you have to share the limelight.

Exactly! It used to mean something
to be a cheerleader.

Not anymore!
We are so out of here!

Ugh!

[all] Ugh!

-Did we just quit cheerleading?
-Yeah, we did.

But, if we're not cheerleaders,
what are we?

You know what?
We can be whatever we want!

The sky's the limit!
We're free to do anything now!

Whoo!

So, what'll it be?

[all] Shopping!

[spaceship sounds]

This meeting of the sci-fi fan club
will now come to order.

Star guardians...

[all] Away!

And now, everyone, in preparation
for the big game tomorrow night,

please welcome this year's
cheerleading squad!

[all cheering]

[girl] Whoo! Yeah!

-Gimme a "G!"
-"G!"

You are great.

I love your wondrous, repetitive energy.
You're on the squad.

Yay.

[Tasumi] Maybe having this many
cheerleaders is not so great an idea.

But we have to cheer for the team,
or they'll be crushed.

-They already are.
-[all grunting]

Um, so, you really like
Star Journeys?

Of course I do.
It's the greatest show ever.

But when I was a cheerleader
I had to hide it 'cause it wasn't cool.

Sort of like when the crew
of the Star Skimmer

went to Chameleon-4.

The paradise-like planet
that appeared to be a fiery sun because--

It was hidden by
a Vir-tron cloaking field.

[Todd] Actually, it was a Vir-tron
reflection field.

That's right!

Oh, Todd, how is it that
I never noticed you before?

Maybe 'cause you're always so mean?

[both laughing]

[chuckles]
Huh?

-Oop! Sorry, honey!
-That's OK, Dad.

Ah, that's one dandelion
that won't roar again.

What's wrong, dear?
Is cheerleading not going well?

Well, I made the squad,
but so did most of the school.

There are too many of us
and we're not very good.

Now, no one can be
good at everything, dear.

Take your father
and lawnmowing for example.

[laughing]

Mom, what are you trying to say?

I've seen you cheer, dear, and...
how do I put this delicately?

Perhaps, everyone isn't cut out
to be a cheerleader.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Yeah, but how do I
tell the others that they stink?

[sighs]

[crowd cheering]

Yeah!
[laughs]

[girl] All right!

Hey, batta batta batta!

[sneezes]

[sniffling]

Guys, just... watch the players.

Shelton, just... put on some pants!

Hey, this is a kilt, which you can take,
but you can't take my freedom.

Or my bagpipes with the squeezing
and the ear-bleeding!

-[bagpipes screeching]
-[all screaming]

Miss Blossoms, help me out here,
we're losing!

Oh, Riley, there is
no winning or losing only--

That's it!
Take your stupid hippie thinking

and your giant multicolored,
novelty lava lamp, and get out!

Ladies!
And Shelton!

It's up to us!
We need to get this team motivated!

It's time for the triple axel
pyramid of pep!

[gasps]
We're not ready, Riley!

-Are you crazy?
-Pull yourselves together!

You're cheerleaders!
Now start acting like it!

We can do this.

Ready? OK!

Triple axel pyramid of pep...
Go!

[groaning]

-The bees never hurt like this.
-See? We're... falling!

[game buzzer]

Oh, Johnny, I'm so sorry!

-I hope that wasn't an important shot.
-Only our chance to take the lead.

Ah, don't worry, Riley.

It's not like it's your fault
the cheerleaders all reek now,

and school spirit is dead,
completely ruining our game.

[nervous laughter]
No... of course it isn't.

Sierra, I can't believe I'm saying this,
but you're better than me...

at cheerleading.

Hey, no one can be
good at everything, right?

What do you say, Sierra?
Will you come back?

But... I'm so happy now.

What would Captain Starpower do?

I think you know.

[both] "The needs of the several
outweigh the needs of the one."

I'll never forget you, Todd.

I have been, and always will be,
your space pal.

Cheer squad, activate!

OK, girls, we have a game to win.

[all] Three, five, seven, nine,
all you losers hit the pine!

Triple axel pyramid of pep time!

Ready? OK!

Go!

[all grunting]

[all cheering]

Let's go get 'em.

[C.A.R.]
So, who won the basketball match?

We did. I can't believe
how much better the team played

once they got rid of
those horrible cheerleaders.

Dick!

Ah, who am I kidding?
You guys were awful.

Yeah, and now I feel really bad
about replacing Miss Van Dorn.

Well, don't worry about it, dear.
No one is perfect.

[C.A.R.] Except me.

[engine stalls]

[engine backfires]

[C.A.R.]
Oh, how embarrassing.

This is clearly operator error.

[announcer] The Fleemco company presents:
Buzz Winters on pride.

Oh, hello.
Pride is defined in the dictionary

as reasonable,
or justifiable self-respect.

Bow before my superior smartitude.

I believe it's very important
to have pride in a job well-done.

Or a joke well-played.

Uhh... say cheese!

Great ones!

I gotta start writin' these down.

[announcer]
This has been Buzz Winters on pride.