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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,287 - Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 2 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,168 - Ian, please! Could you just calm down? 3 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,499 - He did not know I took the car. 4 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,164 He will be absolutely fucking furious. 5 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,627 - Your dad doesn't have to find out. 6 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,087 We can come back and get it tomorrow 7 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,502 when we have the keys! 8 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,966 - Fuck! 9 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,656 Don't even think for half a second 10 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,443 you're going to break open that car, mate. 11 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,704 So get out of my face. 12 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,132 What are you fucking looking at? 13 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,090 Stop looking at my girlfriend, midget! 14 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,720 - Ian, please! 15 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:14,926 - You want to fucky-fucky her? 16 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,590 No way in hell, 'cause let me tell you, 17 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,054 there's only one guy who fucks her, 18 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,388 and I fuck her real good, 19 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,553 so go home and fuck mom now, you demented dwarf! 20 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:50,086 No, please! 21 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,086 Please, no! 22 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,257 No, please! 23 00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,424 Please, plea- 24 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,059 Don't! 25 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,892 Ian! 26 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,081 - Hey, I hope you're not time-wasting, you. 27 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,792 I've got a dozen people waiting to look at this place, 28 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,752 most of them paying cash as well. 29 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,963 You got cash? 30 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:48,301 Right, the light switch is somewhere here I think. 31 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,912 - Hey, come on, let's get this fucking lease signed, hey? 32 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,479 - Hi, this is Marc from USA Actors Management 33 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,393 regarding your audition request for our clients 34 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,685 Miss Williams and Mr. Kitamura 35 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,229 from Human Centipede. 36 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,524 Neither is available for the auditions in London right now 37 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:54,907 because they're shooting a movie, 38 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,113 but thank you for the interest. 39 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,698 Maybe we can do something in the future. 40 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,362 Good-bye. 41 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,944 - Stop them tears. 42 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:42,910 You're just making Daddy's willy harder. 43 00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,423 Oh, my God. 44 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,466 Have you shit yourself again? 45 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,805 You swine. 46 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,970 I've called Dr. Sebring, and he's waiting. 47 00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,515 Get up! 48 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,611 Hello, Martin. 49 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,248 Mmm. 50 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,386 Martin... 51 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,971 come and join us. 52 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:04,588 Well.. 53 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:08,345 Martin, I have your Ventolin. 54 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,103 Martin, I'm here today 55 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:23,145 because your mother is very worried about you. 56 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,609 - He keeps on talking about a centipede 57 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,648 with 12 people. 58 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,285 What does that mean? 59 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,243 - Now, let's see. 60 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:44,666 A centipede can be considered a phallic symbol. 61 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,255 Centipedes are very aggressive creatures. 62 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:50,137 Their bite can be very painful. 63 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:55,427 Maybe he is connecting the pain that a centipede inflicts 64 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,186 with the pain inflicted on him 65 00:18:57,345 --> 00:19:02,067 through years of psychological and sexual abuse by his father. 66 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,897 - I miss my husband. 67 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:17,703 And it's your fault that he's in prison! 68 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:22,041 - Sometimes people that are mentally challenged 69 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:29,587 and have a history of sexual abuse... 70 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:33,427 mutilate their own sexual organs. 71 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,069 I'm sorry. I going to have to go. 72 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:49,481 There's nothing to worry about. 73 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,991 I'm sure it's just a passing phase. 74 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,947 Hmm? 75 00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,575 Martin. 76 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:04,837 Ah. You're a good boy. 77 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,963 Mrs. Lomax. 78 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,906 - I've decided to kill us both. 79 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,496 This music is driving me crazy! 80 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,335 I can't stand this anymore! 81 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:23,457 He can't stand it anymore! 82 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,874 Come on, tell him. 83 00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:32,759 Be a man like your father. 84 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,761 - Stop fucking bothering me, you retard. 85 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,595 I play my fucking music as loud as I fucking want, okay? 86 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,135 - Kill us both. I'm begging you. 87 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,305 - Shut your fucking mouth, you old cunt. 88 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:48,941 What the fuck? 89 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,109 - I will play my music so fucking loud, 90 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:55,818 it's going to make your fucking ears bleed, 91 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,028 you cock-sucking dwarf. 92 00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:58,943 Next time, you batter that fucking ceiling, 93 00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:03,205 I'm gonna come down and break your fucking neck, 94 00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:04,456 Fuck! 95 00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:06,458 Fucking little cocksucker. 96 00:22:06,617 --> 00:22:08,961 Don't fucking bang that fucking ceiling 97 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,372 any-fucking-more, okay? 98 00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,509 You cock-sucking retard! 99 00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:44,823 - The lips from B and C 100 00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:51,292 and the anus of A and B are cut circular 101 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:56,425 along the border between skin and mucosa, 102 00:22:56,584 --> 00:23:00,805 the mucus cutaneous zone... 103 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:04,593 the circular mucosa and skin parts 104 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:11,016 of anus and mouth from A to B and B to C. 105 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:14,560 Connecting the pedicellated grafts 106 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:22,157 to the chin-cheek incisions from A to B, connected... 107 00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:29,413 Ingestion by A 108 00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:33,375 passing through B 109 00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:38,418 to the excretion of C. 110 00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:45,884 A human centipede... 111 00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,098 first sequence. 112 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:32,058 - Will you give me a high five when we get there? 113 00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,859 - HEY- 114 00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:36,751 - Shh, shh. 115 00:28:01,138 --> 00:28:03,357 My lead. 116 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:05,392 My lead. 117 00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:06,651 Hey, man. 118 00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:07,732 10 119 00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:08,942 - Hey, man. 120 00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:20,495 - Ja, komm. 121 00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:27,172 Yeah! Yeah, coma up ham. 122 00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:29,333 Come up, oh, yeah! 123 00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:31,593 Yeah. Yeah! 124 00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,005 Very good! 125 00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:35,343 Yeah! 126 00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:37,348 I did if! 127 00:29:25,055 --> 00:29:27,228 Mil 128 00:29:27,391 --> 00:29:29,393 - Why do these stupid things never work? 129 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,401 - Oh, Valerie! 130 00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:40,036 It's that guy from the club! 131 00:29:51,331 --> 00:29:52,332 - Shh! There's- 132 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:55,760 Babe, there's a midget wanking in there. 133 00:29:55,919 --> 00:29:57,262 - You are drunk, love. 134 00:29:57,421 --> 00:29:58,422 - No, seriously! 135 00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:00,946 - Hi, this is Arianne 136 00:33:01,104 --> 00:33:02,947 from Creative Acting Talent Management. 137 00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:04,608 You called us with an audition request 138 00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:06,151 for our client actress Miss Yennie 139 00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:07,365 from The Human Centipede. 140 00:33:07,527 --> 00:33:08,779 I just spoke to Miss Yennie, 141 00:33:08,945 --> 00:33:11,539 and she is very, very excited and available 142 00:33:11,698 --> 00:33:14,702 to fly to London to audition for the new Tarantino film. 143 00:33:14,868 --> 00:33:18,748 Could you please contact me ASAP on my cell phone, 144 00:33:18,914 --> 00:33:22,964 713-499-0913. 145 00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:26,346 Thanks. B ye-b ye. 146 00:33:33,303 --> 00:33:37,183 - You can't do this. 147 00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,977 It's a film. 148 00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:46,651 The Human Centipede is a fucking film. 149 00:33:46,816 --> 00:33:50,366 He is going to stitch us up. 150 00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:54,625 He is going to stitch us up ass to mouth. 151 00:33:56,993 --> 00:33:58,461 Help! 152 00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:01,794 Help! 153 00:35:07,981 --> 00:35:10,234 - Stop them tears. 154 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,950 You're just making Daddy's willy harder. 155 00:35:50,940 --> 00:35:52,942 - What is this? 156 00:35:56,821 --> 00:36:00,917 100% medically accurate? 157 00:36:05,789 --> 00:36:07,962 Mouth to anus? 158 00:36:10,418 --> 00:36:12,512 One digestive system? 159 00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:16,596 Is this a perverted film you've been talking about? 160 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:27,810 - I want all this filth out of my house! 161 00:40:45,068 --> 00:40:47,537 - Fuck! 162 00:40:51,157 --> 00:40:52,784 Doh! Fuckin' hell! 163 00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:53,998 Ahhhhh! 164 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:55,252 Gahhh! 165 00:40:58,081 --> 00:40:59,583 Fuck! 166 00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:01,717 Oh, fuck! 167 00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:16,329 - Swallow it, bitch. 168 00:42:16,492 --> 00:42:20,087 Swallow up. 169 00:42:23,082 --> 00:42:24,755 - Feed her. 170 00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:27,340 Feed her! 171 00:42:55,156 --> 00:43:00,037 - That was fucking sensational. 172 00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:02,080 And you know what? 173 00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:06,467 Your pussy smells gorgeous. 174 00:43:06,626 --> 00:43:07,923 Yeah. 175 00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:09,133 How you doing, doc? 176 00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:15,764 Oh, I rather fuck that retarded boy, 177 00:43:15,927 --> 00:43:18,305 but... this'll do. 178 00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:19,563 - I know a place in Thailand 179 00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:22,646 where they specialize in that sort of thing. 180 00:43:22,809 --> 00:43:24,561 Oh, yeah. 181 00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:27,071 Oh, yeah, she's a good one. 182 00:43:27,230 --> 00:43:29,483 - How much to fuck you up the arse, darling? 183 00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:34,371 - For you, darling, 50. 184 00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:45,922 - Jesus. 185 00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:47,800 Who the fuck are you? 186 00:43:47,959 --> 00:43:51,634 What the fuck have you done to yourself'? 187 00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:57,431 That's right. Have a good stare. 188 00:43:57,593 --> 00:44:01,063 Have a good fucking stare, you little fucking pervert! 189 00:44:01,222 --> 00:44:02,849 Fuck off now 190 00:44:03,015 --> 00:44:05,894 before I get out of this car and smash your fucking face in! 191 00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:06,936 Don't! 192 00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:21,367 - No, please. Please! 193 00:44:40,428 --> 00:44:41,771 - Martin? 194 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:51,777 Martin, it's me, Dr. Sebring. 195 00:44:55,151 --> 00:44:57,028 So... 196 00:44:57,195 --> 00:44:58,412 this is where you work. 197 00:45:02,491 --> 00:45:04,414 This isn't right, Martin. 198 00:45:04,577 --> 00:45:06,705 What you're doing, 199 00:45:06,871 --> 00:45:11,126 it's wrong. 200 00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:14,671 Martin, I can help you, 201 00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:20,014 but you have to put the gun down. 202 00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:22,679 Imagine what your father would say if- 203 00:45:29,435 --> 00:45:32,939 Martin, Martin, no, Martin! 204 00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:44,974 Please. 205 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:46,979 I'll do anything you want. 206 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,311 Please! 207 00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:52,818 I won't tell- I won't tell no one nothing. 208 00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,024 You fucking- 209 00:46:58,149 --> 00:47:01,449 Someone help me! 210 00:47:52,328 --> 00:47:54,922 - Hi, Martin, this is Arianne, Miss Yennie's manager. 211 00:47:55,081 --> 00:47:57,083 I wanted to confirm that Miss Yennie is not delayed 212 00:47:57,249 --> 00:47:58,717 and will be landing this morning 213 00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:01,550 on London's Heathrow Airport at 6:00 a.m. your time. 214 00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,714 I understand your driver will be picking her up. 215 00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:05,178 I hope she does a great audition. 216 00:48:05,341 --> 00:48:07,844 Thanks. Thanks a lot. Bye-bye! 217 00:48:34,578 --> 00:48:37,001 - God, I cannot believe I am here 218 00:48:37,164 --> 00:48:40,509 auditioning for a Quentin Tarantino film. 219 00:48:40,668 --> 00:48:43,512 My agents are so excited about this. 220 00:48:46,882 --> 00:48:48,429 I should probably call them, 221 00:48:48,592 --> 00:48:52,096 tell them I landed and, you know, I'm on my way. 222 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:57,897 - Have you seen The Human Centipede? 223 00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:02,782 - I was really drawn to the film 224 00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,442 because of the medical aspect of it. 225 00:49:04,608 --> 00:49:05,905 If you were a surgeon, 226 00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:08,446 you could actually perform that surgery. 227 00:49:08,612 --> 00:49:11,035 It's just so scary. 228 00:49:14,034 --> 00:49:16,128 It was so grueling being on all fours, 229 00:49:16,287 --> 00:49:18,836 so I demanded in my contract that I had to have 230 00:49:18,998 --> 00:49:20,625 an hour-long massage every night. 231 00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:23,510 I mean, why would I not demand that in my contract? 232 00:49:23,669 --> 00:49:25,467 Oh, and the rest of the cast, 233 00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:28,007 we all took showers before we shot the centipede stuff, 234 00:49:28,174 --> 00:49:30,768 because I mean, you're close to someone's butt, 235 00:49:30,926 --> 00:49:33,054 and you don't want to smell anything and- 236 00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,847 or, you know, whatever. 237 00:49:35,014 --> 00:49:36,391 I'm kind of a germaphobe. 238 00:49:36,557 --> 00:49:38,480 Um... 239 00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:56,123 Oh, that must be Quentin's car. 240 00:50:05,669 --> 00:50:07,216 Do you have an umbrella? 241 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:10,974 Because this rain will ruin my hair. 242 00:50:12,051 --> 00:50:14,850 Okay. 243 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,982 Oh! 244 01:07:58,283 --> 01:08:02,288 - Please, please. 245 01:08:02,453 --> 01:08:05,923 Please don't hurt me. 246 01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:07,925 Please. 247 01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:10,303 I'll do everything. 248 01:09:36,506 --> 01:09:38,975 - Hello, this Marc from USA Actors Management again. 249 01:09:39,133 --> 01:09:40,510 Please disregard my earlier message. 250 01:09:40,677 --> 01:09:42,350 Fortunately, Miss Williams and Mr. Kitamura 251 01:09:42,512 --> 01:09:43,889 were able to reschedule, 252 01:09:44,055 --> 01:09:46,023 and they're really, really excited to come to London 253 01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:47,308 for Mr. Tarantino's auditions. 254 01:09:47,475 --> 01:09:48,397 I hope it's still possible. 255 01:09:48,559 --> 01:09:49,731 I'm totally confident 256 01:09:49,894 --> 01:09:51,362 that they're gonna do very well on this, 257 01:09:51,521 --> 01:09:52,989 so please call me back as soon as possible 258 01:09:53,147 --> 01:09:54,319 at this number to confirm. 259 01:09:54,482 --> 01:09:55,574 Thanks very, very much. 260 01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:57,360 Talk to you soon. Good-bye. 261 01:14:37,264 --> 01:14:42,270 [5:11] 262 01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,229 - Ah! 263 01:20:58,896 --> 01:21:01,399 10 16547

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