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1
00:00:10,018 --> 00:00:13,018
[dramatic orchestral music]
2
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:20,020
♪ ♪
3
00:00:22,018 --> 00:00:25,018
[choir vocalizing]
4
00:00:25,019 --> 00:00:32,019
♪ ♪
5
00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:44,010
[silverware clanking]
6
00:00:45,013 --> 00:00:47,023
- Excuse me, you there, Mary.
7
00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,013
- Yes, Your Majesty.
8
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,017
- Can you donate this
to a soup kitchen
9
00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:53,011
and bring me something
I can fucking eat?
10
00:00:53,015 --> 00:00:54,015
- Mummy, would you like
my eggs?
11
00:00:55,001 --> 00:00:56,011
They're very yummy.
12
00:00:56,009 --> 00:00:57,019
- Yeah, I want to eat
off your plate
13
00:00:57,020 --> 00:01:00,000
like we live
in a fucking trailer park.
14
00:01:00,005 --> 00:01:02,015
Do you ever listen to yourself?
15
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,000
- No, Mummy, I don't.
16
00:01:04,003 --> 00:01:05,023
And it was actually
Camilla's idea
17
00:01:05,018 --> 00:01:06,018
I offer you the eggs.
18
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,022
Please forgive me, darling.
19
00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:10,000
I hate myself.
20
00:01:10,006 --> 00:01:11,016
- Ma'am,
it's the prime minister.
21
00:01:11,019 --> 00:01:12,019
- Hello?
22
00:01:12,021 --> 00:01:14,021
Well, did you fuck her?
23
00:01:14,017 --> 00:01:16,007
All right,
I'll take care of it.
24
00:01:16,013 --> 00:01:17,023
You don't talk to anyone
25
00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:20,000
until you get my call,
understand?
26
00:01:20,003 --> 00:01:21,013
Thank you, Mary.
27
00:01:21,011 --> 00:01:24,011
- Grandpa,
are you eating the paper?
28
00:01:24,012 --> 00:01:27,022
- [munching and slurping]
29
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:29,011
- That's new.
30
00:01:29,007 --> 00:01:31,017
- Well, I have an appointment.
Please excuse me.
31
00:01:31,022 --> 00:01:34,002
Would you tell the children
I'll be home later?
32
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,006
- I'm sitting
right next to you.
33
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:38,002
- Where are you going?
- Out.
34
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:39,023
Don't worry, I'll be back
in time to watch the servants
35
00:01:39,022 --> 00:01:42,002
put the children to bed
from my phone.
36
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,013
- That's a good mother,
37
00:01:45,008 --> 00:01:46,008
hands-on.
38
00:01:46,009 --> 00:01:48,019
- I was breastfed by a servant.
39
00:01:48,017 --> 00:01:50,007
- Yes, but she watched.
40
00:01:50,012 --> 00:01:53,012
- Is there anything you need
before I leave for my day off,
41
00:01:53,011 --> 00:01:54,011
Your Royal Highness?
42
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,013
- Your day off?
43
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,005
Didn't you just have a day off?
44
00:01:57,014 --> 00:01:59,014
When do you actually work?
45
00:01:59,008 --> 00:02:00,018
- It's been
about a month, sir.
46
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,020
- Must be nice
to have your life.
47
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,022
All right, well,
go if you're going.
48
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,010
- If you need anything at all,
sir, don't hesitate--
49
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:10,000
- Owen, Owen, just leave,
for God's sake.
50
00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:11,006
I think I'll be fine
51
00:02:11,013 --> 00:02:13,023
without whatever it is
you think you do.
52
00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:14,020
- Of course, sir.
53
00:02:14,023 --> 00:02:16,013
- Bye-eee.
54
00:02:16,009 --> 00:02:19,019
- Okay, now he's eating
the centerpiece.
55
00:02:19,017 --> 00:02:23,007
- [munching and gulping]
56
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,000
- It's fine.
57
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,016
- Are you okay?
58
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:30,021
- Why haven't you
touched me lately?
59
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:32,019
- Can we not
talk about this now?
60
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,021
- Well, I'm off.
61
00:02:33,023 --> 00:02:35,013
I'll see everyone tomorrow.
62
00:02:35,009 --> 00:02:36,019
- Big plans, then, Owen?
63
00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:38,011
- Oh, nothing much.
64
00:02:38,015 --> 00:02:40,005
Well, ta-ta.
65
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:42,020
- Bye, Owen!
Have fun!
66
00:02:42,019 --> 00:02:43,999
I'd go home and slit my throat
67
00:02:44,006 --> 00:02:46,016
if I had to look after
that kid all day.
68
00:02:47,014 --> 00:02:49,004
Don't.
69
00:02:49,004 --> 00:02:50,014
- N...now, then,
70
00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:52,022
can I get anyone a nice cuppa?
71
00:02:53,001 --> 00:02:55,021
Teddy?
- Yeah, thanks, Kev.
72
00:02:56,019 --> 00:02:58,009
Fuckin' love Kev.
73
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:01,004
[brakes squeal]
74
00:03:02,005 --> 00:03:03,005
- Morning, Owen.
75
00:03:03,007 --> 00:03:04,017
- Morning, Clive.
76
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,013
[cell phone dings]
77
00:03:14,004 --> 00:03:16,014
[keyboard tapping,
text message swooshes]
78
00:03:20,012 --> 00:03:22,002
[text message swooshes]
79
00:03:23,019 --> 00:03:24,019
[brakes squeal]
80
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:26,000
- Have a good day, Owen.
81
00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:27,023
- You too, Clive.
82
00:03:28,015 --> 00:03:31,015
[bright orchestral music]
83
00:03:31,017 --> 00:03:38,007
♪ ♪
84
00:03:38,013 --> 00:03:40,013
[FaceTime rings]
85
00:03:40,009 --> 00:03:42,999
- Hello?
- Hey, is this a bad time?
86
00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:44,022
- Of course not,
Your Royal Highness.
87
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:46,010
- So I found the socks.
88
00:03:46,009 --> 00:03:48,999
I sent you backa smiley emoji, by the way.
89
00:03:49,002 --> 00:03:50,012
- Yes, I saw that.
90
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:52,002
- Oh, well,you didn't respond.
91
00:03:52,003 --> 00:03:54,013
- Morning, Owen!
- Morning, Dan!
92
00:03:54,014 --> 00:03:56,014
I sent you
a thumbs-up on it, sir.
93
00:03:56,013 --> 00:03:58,013
- Oh, okay,I must have missed that.
94
00:03:58,011 --> 00:03:59,021
Anyway,I was wondering which--
95
00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:02,011
- Hello, Owen.
- Hello, Faye!
96
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,009
- I was wonderingwhich remote I use
97
00:04:04,015 --> 00:04:06,995
to go from Apple TVback to cable.
98
00:04:07,006 --> 00:04:08,016
- The small silver one, sir.
99
00:04:09,001 --> 00:04:10,011
- Yeah, I tried that one.
100
00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:11,995
- Fresh blackberries today,
Owen?
101
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,012
- I'll come by later for some,
Samuel.
102
00:04:14,015 --> 00:04:16,005
- You're doingthat walk through town
103
00:04:16,011 --> 00:04:18,001
like you're fucking Bellein "Beauty and the Beast."
104
00:04:18,006 --> 00:04:19,996
Jesus Christ,do you know how annoying it is
105
00:04:20,006 --> 00:04:21,006
for me on my end?
106
00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,022
- I apologize, sir.
107
00:04:22,018 --> 00:04:23,018
- Oh, okay, wait.
108
00:04:23,022 --> 00:04:25,012
The silver one is working now.
109
00:04:25,008 --> 00:04:26,008
- Splendid, sir.
110
00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:27,020
- It wasn't before, though.
111
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,011
All right, well,I'm gonna watch "Below Deck."
112
00:04:30,015 --> 00:04:33,005
- Good morning, O--
- He's on the fucking phone!
113
00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:35,010
Okay, well,that's it on my end.
114
00:04:35,014 --> 00:04:36,014
Enjoy your day off.
115
00:04:36,016 --> 00:04:37,016
- If you need anything else--
116
00:04:37,017 --> 00:04:38,017
- No, no, I'm good.
117
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,020
I'll talk to you later.Ciao.
118
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:42,000
[birds chirping]
119
00:04:42,004 --> 00:04:49,014
♪ ♪
120
00:04:55,007 --> 00:04:57,997
[FaceTime ringing]
121
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,016
- Hello?
- Hey. What are you doing?
122
00:05:00,023 --> 00:05:03,003
- Just making
a cup of tea, sir.
123
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,023
- Cool. I'm having tea too.
124
00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:07,021
So has it started rainingthere yet?
125
00:05:08,001 --> 00:05:09,011
- Not yet, no, sir.
126
00:05:09,014 --> 00:05:11,014
- That's good. That's good.
127
00:05:11,007 --> 00:05:12,007
Maybe it won't rain there,
128
00:05:12,013 --> 00:05:13,023
day off and all that.
129
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,000
Ooh, are you in the kitchen?
130
00:05:15,005 --> 00:05:16,005
Show me your kitchen.
131
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,021
- It's nothing much
to speak of,
132
00:05:17,021 --> 00:05:19,011
Your Royal Highness.
133
00:05:19,011 --> 00:05:21,011
- It's cute, O.
134
00:05:21,007 --> 00:05:24,017
All right, well, I'll let youget back to your tea.
135
00:05:24,018 --> 00:05:25,018
- Goodbye, sir.
136
00:05:25,019 --> 00:05:28,009
- Yup. See you tomorrow.
137
00:05:38,016 --> 00:05:41,016
[birds chirping]
138
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,020
[FaceTime ringing]
139
00:05:44,018 --> 00:05:46,008
- Hello?
- Quick question.
140
00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:48,016
How long is an avocadogood for?
141
00:05:48,019 --> 00:05:50,019
- They're good
for several days, sir.
142
00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:53,000
- So if it's a little brown,it's still okay?
143
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,024
- Yes, that should be fine,
sir.
144
00:05:54,018 --> 00:05:56,018
- Yeah, thought so.Just checking.
145
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,002
Is that your garden?
146
00:05:58,003 --> 00:06:00,013
- Yes.
It's very, very small.
147
00:06:00,016 --> 00:06:02,016
- It's fucking adorableis what it is.
148
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,000
Everything is so tinyand cute.
149
00:06:05,004 --> 00:06:07,014
It's like you livein a dollhouse, O.
150
00:06:07,014 --> 00:06:09,014
- It suits my needs, sir.
151
00:06:09,007 --> 00:06:11,997
- Anyway, I gotta go,but thanks for calling.
152
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,021
[soft piano music]
153
00:06:17,021 --> 00:06:19,011
[laughter,indistinct chatter]
154
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:22,022
♪ ♪
155
00:06:22,017 --> 00:06:23,017
- I don't have long.
156
00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:25,011
I told William
I was serving porridge
157
00:06:25,016 --> 00:06:26,016
to battered women.
158
00:06:26,017 --> 00:06:27,997
- Then let's get to it.
159
00:06:28,006 --> 00:06:30,006
So you're positive
you want to leave your husband?
160
00:06:30,008 --> 00:06:32,018
- Yes! I've already found
a place to live.
161
00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:34,021
And I'm applying for a job
at goop.
162
00:06:34,017 --> 00:06:36,007
- [gasps] Ooh, goop.
163
00:06:36,016 --> 00:06:39,006
Well, I'll start working
on the papers, then.
164
00:06:39,014 --> 00:06:41,014
- Nobody must know.
165
00:06:41,007 --> 00:06:42,017
I fear for my life.
166
00:06:42,023 --> 00:06:43,023
- Really?
167
00:06:43,021 --> 00:06:45,001
- Well, not really,
168
00:06:45,002 --> 00:06:46,022
but, you know, it's bad there.
169
00:06:46,023 --> 00:06:49,003
- Can I ask,
what's the queen like?
170
00:06:49,006 --> 00:06:50,006
Is she nice?
171
00:06:50,008 --> 00:06:52,018
- She's a fucking nightmare.
172
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:54,010
I'll be in touch.
173
00:06:57,005 --> 00:07:00,995
[FaceTime ringing]
174
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,005
- Hello, sir.
- Hey.
175
00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:04,007
I'm bored.
176
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:06,006
Anything going on over there?
177
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,008
- No, no, nothing at all.
178
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,010
- Hello, Owen.
Good to see ya.
179
00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:11,014
- Hello, Toby.
180
00:07:11,016 --> 00:07:14,006
- Well, if it isn't Owen.
181
00:07:14,008 --> 00:07:15,008
- Hello, Vera.
182
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:17,000
- Ugh, now you're at Cheers.
183
00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:18,022
- Where you been hidin', Owen?
184
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,010
You haven't called.
185
00:07:20,011 --> 00:07:22,011
- Been meaning to, Vera.
186
00:07:22,013 --> 00:07:23,023
Work.
187
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:24,021
Rock climbing.
188
00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:26,011
- Rock climbing?
189
00:07:26,008 --> 00:07:27,008
- Right.
190
00:07:27,016 --> 00:07:28,996
Sure.
191
00:07:29,003 --> 00:07:31,013
Usual?
- Please.
192
00:07:32,007 --> 00:07:33,017
- Oh, my God.
193
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,999
You're dating her.
194
00:07:35,002 --> 00:07:36,022
- We're just friends, sir.
195
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,010
- O, O, O,
196
00:07:39,016 --> 00:07:40,996
you're dating her.
197
00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:42,024
- Here we are, now, Owen,
198
00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:44,009
pie and mash.
199
00:07:44,007 --> 00:07:46,017
- Well, I'll let you get backto Mrs. Lovett.
200
00:07:46,018 --> 00:07:48,008
- Who's that little tyke?
201
00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:50,012
Is that the little prince?
202
00:07:50,016 --> 00:07:51,016
- Yes, it is.
203
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,020
- Don't.Don't put me on with--
204
00:07:53,023 --> 00:07:55,023
Hi!
205
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:57,007
How are you, dear?
206
00:07:57,015 --> 00:07:59,005
- 'Ello, sweetheart!
207
00:07:59,013 --> 00:08:02,003
- Oh, look at those teeth.How fun.
208
00:08:02,006 --> 00:08:03,996
- Bye, lovey.
209
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:07,010
- Don't ever do that again.
210
00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:08,010
All right, go eat.
211
00:08:08,014 --> 00:08:11,004
Your cat pie is getting cold.
212
00:08:11,013 --> 00:08:13,003
- Can I get you
anything else, Owen?
213
00:08:13,006 --> 00:08:14,006
- No, thank you, Vera.
214
00:08:14,011 --> 00:08:16,011
- Right, then, love.
215
00:08:16,007 --> 00:08:18,017
Give us a call sometime, eh?
216
00:08:22,015 --> 00:08:27,005
♪ ♪
217
00:08:27,014 --> 00:08:31,004
[birds chirping]
218
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:33,010
- Evening, Owen.
219
00:08:33,008 --> 00:08:35,008
- Evening, Gladys!
220
00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:55,015
[FaceTime ringing]
221
00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:58,011
- Quick, turn on HGTV.
222
00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:02,020
- Hi, I'm Meghan Markle.
223
00:09:02,017 --> 00:09:04,017
- And I'm Harry...
224
00:09:04,017 --> 00:09:07,997
Harry.- And we're "Royally Screwed."
225
00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:11,011
- Each week, we take a house
226
00:09:11,012 --> 00:09:13,012
from drab...
- To fab.
227
00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:15,023
The Anderson familyhad $75,000
228
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:18,011
to renovate theirthree-bedroom ranch house.
229
00:09:18,013 --> 00:09:20,013
- It was our live savings.
230
00:09:20,013 --> 00:09:22,013
- Anderson family,
do you remember
231
00:09:22,007 --> 00:09:24,007
what your house
used to look like?
232
00:09:24,015 --> 00:09:27,005
Would you like to see
what it looks like now?
233
00:09:27,007 --> 00:09:28,007
all: yeah!
234
00:09:28,007 --> 00:09:30,007
- Then come on in, guys.
235
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:34,021
- Well?
236
00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:37,020
- It...it looks
exactly the same.
237
00:09:37,017 --> 00:09:38,017
- Look closely.
238
00:09:38,019 --> 00:09:40,009
- I don't see any difference...
239
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,013
at all.
- Keep looking.
240
00:09:42,011 --> 00:09:43,021
- [gasps] I'm worried.
241
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,017
- Shh.
242
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,018
- Can I get a clue?
243
00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:47,021
- The kitchen.
244
00:09:48,018 --> 00:09:51,008
- I...I don't see it.
245
00:09:51,011 --> 00:09:53,001
- The backsplash?
246
00:09:53,005 --> 00:09:54,015
- Oh, right.
247
00:09:54,023 --> 00:09:55,023
That's new.
248
00:09:55,023 --> 00:09:57,013
- Huh? Huh?
249
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,010
Do you love it?
250
00:09:58,013 --> 00:10:00,023
Real solid gold inlay.
251
00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:03,001
It makes the whole room pop.
252
00:10:03,006 --> 00:10:06,996
- You spent $75,000
on backsplash?
253
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:08,016
- No.
254
00:10:08,018 --> 00:10:11,008
We spent $100,000!
255
00:10:11,008 --> 00:10:12,018
- [groans]
256
00:10:12,022 --> 00:10:15,022
- I told you we should've gone
with the subway tile.
257
00:10:15,022 --> 00:10:16,022
[TV clicks off]
258
00:10:16,022 --> 00:10:17,022
- Well, they've been
259
00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:19,011
royally screwed, all right.
260
00:10:19,016 --> 00:10:22,006
- Owen, did youjust make a joke?
261
00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:23,010
- I did, sir.
262
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:25,000
- I fucking love that.
263
00:10:25,006 --> 00:10:27,996
Ugh, what worse can they doafter this, sell insurance?
264
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,013
Ooh, there's a "House Hunters"on now.
265
00:10:29,015 --> 00:10:31,005
I'm gonna watch that.
266
00:10:33,006 --> 00:10:34,006
♪ ♪
267
00:10:34,012 --> 00:10:36,002
[water running, faucet squeaks]
268
00:10:36,006 --> 00:10:39,996
♪ ♪
269
00:10:40,003 --> 00:10:42,003
[FaceTime rings]
270
00:10:42,002 --> 00:10:43,002
- Hello, sir.
271
00:10:43,006 --> 00:10:45,006
- Hey.I can't sleep.
272
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:48,001
- Would you like me
to tell you a story, sir?
273
00:10:48,002 --> 00:10:50,012
- No, I'm not a baby.
274
00:10:50,008 --> 00:10:51,998
What story?
275
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,012
- Well...
276
00:10:56,015 --> 00:10:59,015
once upon a time,
there was a very simple man
277
00:10:59,019 --> 00:11:03,019
who lived in a tiny house
with a tiny garden,
278
00:11:03,017 --> 00:11:07,007
and he fell in love
with a very simple woman.
279
00:11:07,011 --> 00:11:10,021
They took joy in
the very simple things in life:
280
00:11:10,021 --> 00:11:15,001
a walk, a cup of tea, a smile.
281
00:11:15,006 --> 00:11:16,016
And those simple things
made them feel
282
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,020
like they were not
so simple at all--
283
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:21,020
quite the opposite, in fact.
284
00:11:21,018 --> 00:11:24,018
It made them feel
like the most special people
285
00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:26,008
in the world.
286
00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:28,016
And one day, they got married,
287
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,010
and this very simple man
suddenly became a king
288
00:11:33,015 --> 00:11:36,005
because he had found his queen.
289
00:11:36,016 --> 00:11:39,006
And the tiny house
was their palace
290
00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:41,007
and the tiny garden
their kingdom.
291
00:11:41,011 --> 00:11:45,011
And they lived happily
for years and years
292
00:11:45,009 --> 00:11:48,009
until the queen got very sick
and then...
293
00:11:48,016 --> 00:11:49,016
[sighs]
294
00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:53,007
In a breath, was gone.
295
00:11:53,007 --> 00:11:54,017
And the man went
from being a king
296
00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:58,001
back to being
very simple once again.
297
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:00,021
But sometimes...
298
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:04,009
late at night
when it's very quiet,
299
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:06,006
she comes to him,
300
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:08,016
and just for a moment...
301
00:12:10,013 --> 00:12:12,013
He is a king.
302
00:12:17,023 --> 00:12:19,023
Good night, George.
303
00:12:24,013 --> 00:12:27,013
[owl hooting]
304
00:12:29,013 --> 00:12:32,013
[bright orchestral music]
305
00:12:32,016 --> 00:12:39,016
♪ ♪
20819
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