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1
00:00:10,018 --> 00:00:13,018
[dramatic orchestral music]
2
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:20,020
♪ ♪
3
00:00:22,007 --> 00:00:25,007
[choir vocalizing]
4
00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:32,008
♪ ♪
5
00:00:44,023 --> 00:00:45,023
- I told you,
6
00:00:45,023 --> 00:00:47,013
I'll get you the documents
7
00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,007
as soon as there's an opening.
8
00:00:49,011 --> 00:00:52,011
I have to go.
I'm walking into breakfast.
9
00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,021
Yes, it's a nice spread.
10
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:57,010
Hi, George.
Oh, is that French toast?
11
00:00:57,014 --> 00:00:58,024
- Why? Do I look fat?
12
00:00:58,021 --> 00:01:00,001
I mean, yes.
13
00:01:00,005 --> 00:01:02,005
- Excuse me,
I'm late for an appointment.
14
00:01:02,012 --> 00:01:04,022
- I didn't think the pubs
were open yet.
15
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:07,003
- I have a haircut,
if you must know.
16
00:01:07,005 --> 00:01:09,005
That's when someone takes
scissors and cuts your hair,
17
00:01:09,010 --> 00:01:10,020
in case you forgot.
18
00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:12,010
- God, you're insufferable.
19
00:01:12,009 --> 00:01:13,999
- And you're bald.
20
00:01:14,005 --> 00:01:17,005
- It's like watching
"Marriage Story" every morning.
21
00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:21,023
- Don't fill up.
Don't you remember?
22
00:01:21,022 --> 00:01:24,012
It's date night.
23
00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:27,000
Well, say something.
24
00:01:30,016 --> 00:01:31,996
- I remembered, dear.
25
00:01:32,006 --> 00:01:36,016
- Oh, I wuv you vewwy much.
26
00:01:36,018 --> 00:01:39,018
- I wuv you vewwy much too.
27
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:41,000
- Date night?
28
00:01:41,005 --> 00:01:42,015
Well, that sounds like
a jolly good time.
29
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:46,008
- So that means
Gan Gan's gone tonight?
30
00:01:46,016 --> 00:01:49,016
- Yes.
A jolly good time, Charles.
31
00:01:49,017 --> 00:01:50,017
Fucking dolt.
32
00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:54,001
We're going to The Grill,
right handsome?
33
00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:56,997
- For how long, exactly?
34
00:01:57,006 --> 00:01:58,016
- What is up with you?
35
00:01:58,021 --> 00:02:01,011
- The Grill? Why, Camilla and I
adore it there.
36
00:02:01,014 --> 00:02:03,024
Oh, it would be so much fun
to go with you and Dad.
37
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,003
Can we join?
38
00:02:05,003 --> 00:02:07,013
- No.
- Mummy. Mummy. Please!
39
00:02:07,013 --> 00:02:09,023
Oh, Mummy, please!
Let us go, Mummy.
40
00:02:09,023 --> 00:02:13,003
It's all I want.
Mummy, you must let us come.
41
00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:16,013
- Fine. Shut up. You can come.
42
00:02:18,015 --> 00:02:21,005
God, I am so hot for you, baby.
43
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:27,006
- I'm...so hot for you too.
44
00:02:28,006 --> 00:02:31,006
♪ ♪
45
00:02:31,008 --> 00:02:32,998
- This just came on the market,
46
00:02:33,004 --> 00:02:34,024
and you're the first
to see it, Ms.--
47
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,023
- Uh... Middletin.
48
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,023
- That's so funny.
49
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:39,013
You look a bit like her too.
50
00:02:39,011 --> 00:02:41,011
But I'm not a royalist.
They're so useless.
51
00:02:41,012 --> 00:02:43,022
- Yeah, kind of like
real estate agents.
52
00:02:43,023 --> 00:02:46,013
Show me the house
I've already seen online.
53
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,014
Oh, wow.
54
00:02:52,015 --> 00:02:54,005
It's smaller than I thought.
55
00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:55,015
I'll let you know.
56
00:02:55,019 --> 00:02:57,009
- Of course, Ms. Middleton.
57
00:02:57,016 --> 00:02:58,016
- Middletin!
58
00:02:58,021 --> 00:03:00,011
It's two completely
different names.
59
00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:01,010
♪ ♪
60
00:03:01,009 --> 00:03:02,019
[school bell rings]
61
00:03:02,023 --> 00:03:04,013
- Don't forget, everyone,
62
00:03:04,012 --> 00:03:07,002
science fair projects
are due tomorrow.
63
00:03:07,004 --> 00:03:08,014
- Science fair? What?
64
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:10,023
- Yeah, our projects
are due tomorrow.
65
00:03:10,019 --> 00:03:11,999
- Since when?
66
00:03:12,005 --> 00:03:13,015
This is the first
I'm fucking hearing about it.
67
00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:16,013
- Since you were in Mustique
for a month.
68
00:03:16,008 --> 00:03:18,998
- Well, sorry for enjoying
some time off.
69
00:03:19,004 --> 00:03:20,014
Jesus.
70
00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:22,020
I work harder
than anyone around here.
71
00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:24,011
Dinesh, I'm not going to maths.
72
00:03:24,013 --> 00:03:26,013
Can you hand in my homework?
73
00:03:26,007 --> 00:03:29,007
- It's blank though.
- So fill it out!
74
00:03:31,018 --> 00:03:32,018
- Greg! Greg!
75
00:03:32,017 --> 00:03:34,007
I completely forgot.
76
00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:36,009
Do you know what tonight is?
77
00:03:36,013 --> 00:03:37,023
- Fish and chips Thursday?
Yeah.
78
00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:39,011
I mean, I'm excited, but--
79
00:03:39,013 --> 00:03:41,023
- No, no. It's date night.
80
00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:43,011
- Oh, my God. It is!
81
00:03:43,012 --> 00:03:45,012
Guys, it's date night!
82
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,006
[cheering]
83
00:03:47,015 --> 00:03:49,015
- And Charles and Camilla
are joining them too!
84
00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:52,021
- Hoorah!
- Yay!
85
00:03:52,021 --> 00:03:55,001
- Date...night?
86
00:03:55,006 --> 00:03:56,006
- Yes, Kevin.
87
00:03:56,014 --> 00:03:58,014
When the Queen and Philip
have a date night,
88
00:03:58,011 --> 00:04:00,011
there's no family dinner
to prepare.
89
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,017
It's the closest thing
we have to a holiday.
90
00:04:02,018 --> 00:04:04,018
I'll probably have a pint
with the mates later
91
00:04:04,017 --> 00:04:05,017
if you'd like to join.
92
00:04:05,023 --> 00:04:09,023
- Are...we...mates?
93
00:04:09,023 --> 00:04:12,013
- Yeah, of course
we're mates, Kevin.
94
00:04:14,013 --> 00:04:17,003
- I was thinking I'd grab
a bottle of Whispering Angel
95
00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:19,013
and we can finally start
"Game of Thrones."
96
00:04:19,015 --> 00:04:21,015
- Yes! We can see what
all the hype's about.
97
00:04:21,022 --> 00:04:23,002
I can't believe we've managed
98
00:04:23,006 --> 00:04:25,016
to avoid every spoiler
for 11 years.
99
00:04:25,018 --> 00:04:27,008
- Are you guys talking
about GoT?
100
00:04:27,011 --> 00:04:29,021
I still can't believe
Bran got the throne.
101
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,008
- God damn it!
102
00:04:31,007 --> 00:04:34,007
- Owen, Cucumbers.
103
00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:37,010
Thank you.
It's really been a day.
104
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:38,999
- Just relax,
Your Royal highness.
105
00:04:39,006 --> 00:04:41,996
- I'm so stressed, O.
- Why is that, sir?
106
00:04:42,002 --> 00:04:45,012
- I just found out my science
fair project is due tomorrow
107
00:04:45,008 --> 00:04:46,018
and I really have to win.
108
00:04:46,022 --> 00:04:49,002
I mean, how would it look
if the future King of England
109
00:04:49,004 --> 00:04:50,024
can't even win a science fair?
110
00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:52,021
Not good, Owen. That's how.
111
00:04:52,019 --> 00:04:54,009
- I see, Sir. Do you need help?
112
00:04:54,012 --> 00:04:55,022
- No, but you might.
113
00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:57,012
- Pardon, Sir?
- Yeah, well, I mean,
114
00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:59,023
I'm not doing it.
Look at me. I'm busy.
115
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:03,001
I've got fucking cucumbers
on my eyes for Christ's sake.
116
00:05:03,004 --> 00:05:04,014
- Understood, Sir.
117
00:05:04,011 --> 00:05:05,021
I'll see what
I can put together.
118
00:05:05,018 --> 00:05:06,018
- Put together?
119
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,020
No, no, no.
It's got to be great.
120
00:05:08,023 --> 00:05:11,023
I told you
I have to win this thing.
121
00:05:11,017 --> 00:05:13,007
Ugh, so much pressure.
122
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:16,012
I'm getting one of my migraines
just thinking about it.
123
00:05:16,012 --> 00:05:18,022
- Not one of
your migraines, Sir!
124
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,998
Please, God.
125
00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:22,013
- Just make me
a realistic working volcano
126
00:05:22,013 --> 00:05:23,013
with smoke and lava.
127
00:05:23,013 --> 00:05:24,023
You know, all that shit.
128
00:05:24,020 --> 00:05:26,000
- I'll get started right away,
Sir.
129
00:05:26,005 --> 00:05:27,015
- Buh, buh, b-b-buh.
Wait.
130
00:05:27,017 --> 00:05:29,017
I have 20 minutes left
in the mask.
131
00:05:30,023 --> 00:05:33,003
Don't make that face at me.
132
00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:37,012
- Andy,
you gotta be kidding me.
133
00:05:37,008 --> 00:05:38,998
I've brought plenty of conflict
to the show.
134
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,015
- I'm sorry, Meghan.
It's just not working out.
135
00:05:42,018 --> 00:05:46,008
All you talked about all season
was your line of ketchup.
136
00:05:46,009 --> 00:05:49,009
And please stop
sending me samples.
137
00:05:49,013 --> 00:05:50,023
- I hear you, Andy.
138
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,010
I'll amp it up.
I-I'll smash a wine glass.
139
00:05:52,016 --> 00:05:54,006
I'll tell Kyle
she has Munchausen syndrome.
140
00:05:54,008 --> 00:05:56,008
I'll accuse
Dorit of doing coke.
141
00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:58,017
- Lisa Rinna already
did all that.
142
00:05:58,021 --> 00:05:59,021
- All of them?
143
00:05:59,021 --> 00:06:01,011
- Yeah, she's good.
144
00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:04,015
Anyway, I guess we could
bring you back as a friend.
145
00:06:04,023 --> 00:06:08,003
- A friend? No, thank you.
I'm not that desperate.
146
00:06:08,006 --> 00:06:10,006
- Are you sure?
147
00:06:10,015 --> 00:06:13,015
I mean, that silence definitely
says you are, but okay.
148
00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:15,011
Bye.
- Wait, wait, wait.
149
00:06:15,012 --> 00:06:17,012
Andy, wait!
150
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:18,019
Bravo fired me.
151
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:20,021
Well, not really,
but basically.
152
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:22,021
They only offered me "friend"
153
00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:24,010
of the Housewives
for next season.
154
00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:27,016
- Oh, shit.
They Vicki Gunvalsoned you.
155
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,010
- How do you even know who--
[grunts]
156
00:06:29,016 --> 00:06:30,016
You know what?
157
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,010
Whatever.
I am not a fucking friend.
158
00:06:33,012 --> 00:06:36,022
Fuck that.
Those fucking fuckers.
159
00:06:36,023 --> 00:06:38,023
- Fuck.
160
00:06:38,017 --> 00:06:40,007
- And that's his first word.
161
00:06:40,012 --> 00:06:41,022
Great.
162
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,020
- Probably not the best time
to tell you
163
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,020
I just lost my last client.
164
00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:46,021
- You only had one client.
165
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,020
- I think my time
as a masseur is over.
166
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:51,017
I guess I broke his neck?
Is that a thing?
167
00:06:51,018 --> 00:06:53,018
- Yes!
[sighs]
168
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,010
We are screwed.
169
00:06:55,013 --> 00:06:57,013
- Wait, what about
your ketchup company?
170
00:06:57,007 --> 00:06:58,007
- That was a dumb idea.
171
00:06:58,011 --> 00:06:59,011
- Then what are we going to do?
172
00:06:59,012 --> 00:07:00,022
Can you get another show?
173
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,020
I mean, not one
that you act on, darling.
174
00:07:02,018 --> 00:07:04,018
I know people don't wanna hire
you for that anymore, but--
175
00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:07,999
- Well, HGTV did call my agents
last week about us,
176
00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:10,022
but at the time I thought
we were too good for them.
177
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,010
- We're not, darling.
178
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:15,020
♪ ♪
179
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:17,020
- Did you make
your collections?
180
00:07:21,018 --> 00:07:24,008
These envelopes feel
a little thin.
181
00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:28,005
All right. You can go.
182
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,005
- You just hit me with you hat.
183
00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:33,019
- Let the car know
I'll be right down.
184
00:07:33,021 --> 00:07:37,001
- Yes, Your Majesty.
185
00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:45,021
[exciting music]
186
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:52,021
♪ ♪
187
00:07:55,005 --> 00:07:57,005
- Hi, Gan Gan.
Have fun at The Grill.
188
00:07:57,008 --> 00:07:59,018
Tell Rudolpho George sent you.
He'll take care of you.
189
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:02,021
- Sweetheart, I'm the fucking
Queen of England.
190
00:08:03,014 --> 00:08:06,004
- She's such a bad bitch.
191
00:08:06,004 --> 00:08:09,024
[mischievous music]
192
00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:10,018
- I have the documents.
193
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,023
Repeat.
I have the documents.
194
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:16,011
- Charlotte, what were you
doing in Gan Gan's office?
195
00:08:16,008 --> 00:08:17,018
- I wasn't in Gan Gan's office.
196
00:08:17,023 --> 00:08:20,013
- I literally just
saw you leave.
197
00:08:20,009 --> 00:08:22,009
- You're so funny, George.
198
00:08:22,007 --> 00:08:23,007
Making things up.
199
00:08:23,012 --> 00:08:25,002
- Don't try to gaslight me!
200
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,015
- I think someone needs
some fucking glasses.
201
00:08:27,022 --> 00:08:30,012
- Did you--
did you just curse at me?
202
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,010
- I said you need
some fun glasses.
203
00:08:33,008 --> 00:08:34,998
Okay?
Bye, George.
204
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:44,020
- Owen comma research Lasik
eye surgery full stop.
205
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:47,000
- Camilla, this was a bold move
on your part--
206
00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,023
inviting us to
their date night.
207
00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:49,999
Ooh, I'm nervous.
208
00:08:50,005 --> 00:08:51,015
Mummy, I want to be king.
209
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,010
Yes. That's what I'll say.
210
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,010
Exactly right, Camilla.
She's had her go.
211
00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:56,023
Now it's my turn.
212
00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:57,998
I'm not a little boy
any longer.
213
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,005
I don't have to go running
whenever she--
214
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,016
[loud knocking]
- Charles! Hurry up!
215
00:09:00,021 --> 00:09:01,021
We're leaving!
216
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,020
- Coming, Mummy.
217
00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:08,011
- What do you think,
Your Royal Highness?
218
00:09:08,009 --> 00:09:09,019
- I'm not sure.
219
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,010
- But, Sir, look.
220
00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:19,020
- I know I told you
I wanted a volcano,
221
00:09:19,019 --> 00:09:20,999
but now I'm thinking--
222
00:09:21,005 --> 00:09:23,005
mm, it's a bit basic.
223
00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:25,020
It seems a little played out,
you know?
224
00:09:25,021 --> 00:09:27,011
I was just texting
with Sebastian
225
00:09:27,015 --> 00:09:29,005
and he's doing a volcano too.
226
00:09:29,012 --> 00:09:31,012
So, yeah, I just--
227
00:09:31,011 --> 00:09:33,001
I don't see this winning.
228
00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:36,024
- I doubt Sebastian's volcano
will be as good as this one.
229
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:38,001
- Owen,
230
00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:41,013
I'm trying very hard
not to slap you.
231
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:44,015
Now make...something...
232
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:47,008
that...will win.
233
00:09:47,013 --> 00:09:50,023
[music playing,
indistinct chatter]
234
00:09:55,017 --> 00:09:59,017
- Philip, you look
so handsome in candlelight.
235
00:10:01,004 --> 00:10:02,024
- Your Majesty, this is the--
236
00:10:02,023 --> 00:10:04,023
- Just shut up and put it down.
237
00:10:06,018 --> 00:10:08,008
Philip and I get this
every time.
238
00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:10,006
You have to try it.
- Lovely.
239
00:10:10,015 --> 00:10:11,995
As long as there's not
any shellfish.
240
00:10:12,004 --> 00:10:14,014
Camilla has--
- I don't know. Just eat it!
241
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:17,014
- Because if it's shellfish--
- Eat it, you pussies!
242
00:10:20,006 --> 00:10:22,006
See? Delicious.
243
00:10:22,009 --> 00:10:25,019
- Mmm. It is.
Scrummy! Mmm.
244
00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:27,011
So...
245
00:10:27,011 --> 00:10:30,021
there's something I must talk
with you about, Mummy.
246
00:10:30,023 --> 00:10:32,013
Barely noticeable, darling.
247
00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:34,014
- Whatever it is Charles,
make it quick.
248
00:10:34,015 --> 00:10:35,015
I'm exhausted.
249
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:40,001
You have no idea
how much work it is
250
00:10:40,005 --> 00:10:42,015
to be the head of a state,
family, and syndicate.
251
00:10:42,022 --> 00:10:44,022
- Syndicate?
- It's an expression!
252
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000
- Then I'll be brief.
253
00:10:46,005 --> 00:10:47,015
Mummy, I want to be--
254
00:10:47,018 --> 00:10:49,018
[liquid rushing]
255
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,997
Well, this was fun.
256
00:10:54,005 --> 00:10:56,015
[exciting instrumental music]
257
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:59,003
- It's okay that we know
the ending.
258
00:10:59,003 --> 00:11:01,003
It's all about the journey.
- Totally.
259
00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:02,022
There's still so much
we don't know.
260
00:11:02,023 --> 00:11:05,023
- Guys, they're back early.
We gotta get up there.
261
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,010
Oh, Ned Stark.
262
00:11:07,009 --> 00:11:08,999
I was so bummed
when they cut off his head
263
00:11:09,004 --> 00:11:10,014
at the end of season one.
264
00:11:10,007 --> 00:11:11,017
- Motherfucker!
265
00:11:13,007 --> 00:11:15,007
- Did you hear Camilla threw up
266
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,017
all over the Queen?
- Yes.
267
00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:20,019
It's the first thing that's
come out of her mouth in years.
268
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:22,000
[laughter]
269
00:11:23,006 --> 00:11:26,016
- William, I didn't have a hair
appointment this morning.
270
00:11:26,022 --> 00:11:28,002
I actually--
- It's fine.
271
00:11:28,003 --> 00:11:29,023
- No. I meant I didn't go--
272
00:11:29,023 --> 00:11:31,013
- I said it's fine.
273
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:32,007
I don't care.
274
00:11:32,013 --> 00:11:34,003
I'm tired, Kate.
275
00:11:36,009 --> 00:11:37,999
[sighs]
Great.
276
00:11:38,002 --> 00:11:40,012
I feel a shit brewing.
277
00:11:46,017 --> 00:11:49,017
- It's Ms. Middletin.
I'll take the house.
278
00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:53,001
Middle-tin!
279
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,003
[lively instrumental music]
280
00:11:56,005 --> 00:12:00,005
♪ ♪
281
00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:03,013
[computer beeping]
282
00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:06,023
- And the winner is...
283
00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:08,010
Prince George.
284
00:12:08,014 --> 00:12:11,024
[applause]
285
00:12:15,003 --> 00:12:16,013
- This is it?
286
00:12:16,009 --> 00:12:18,019
That's a fucking
particle accelerator.
287
00:12:18,018 --> 00:12:21,018
[dramatic orchestral music]
288
00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:28,020
♪ ♪
20143
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