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1
00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:02,695
Prudence, you have
gotta come outside!
2
00:00:02,780 --> 00:00:04,250
I've just seen
the biggest rock!
3
00:00:04,335 --> 00:00:05,594
- Oh!
- Oh, Zeke.
4
00:00:05,698 --> 00:00:07,582
Prudence, I'm so sorry.
I thought you were decent.
5
00:00:07,666 --> 00:00:10,477
Oh, it's okay.
They're just ankles.
6
00:00:10,561 --> 00:00:12,389
Wanna help me cool them off?
7
00:00:12,605 --> 00:00:13,989
Prudence,
you're a married woman.
8
00:00:14,073 --> 00:00:15,802
Come on, Zekey.
9
00:00:15,886 --> 00:00:17,474
Use that big Bible
10
00:00:17,558 --> 00:00:19,986
to cool off
my hot little ankles.
11
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,523
Like, um...
12
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,649
Like this?
13
00:00:27,733 --> 00:00:29,315
Mmm, yeah, that's good.
14
00:00:29,399 --> 00:00:31,183
I can't believe
this is actually happening.
15
00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:33,704
- More.
- Your ankles are so bony.
16
00:00:33,788 --> 00:00:35,910
The bone really juts out.
17
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,036
Faster.
18
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,698
More. Oh, Zeke!
19
00:00:39,782 --> 00:00:41,634
- Zeke. Zeke.
- Zeke! Zeke!
20
00:00:41,718 --> 00:00:44,419
Zeke. Wake up, man.
21
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:45,763
You were thrashing
around in your sleep.
22
00:00:45,847 --> 00:00:46,903
Oh, right. Sorry.
23
00:00:46,987 --> 00:00:48,975
I wasn't saying anything,
was I?
24
00:00:49,059 --> 00:00:50,376
Nope.
25
00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:52,978
Except you did say,
"I'm horny for ankles."
26
00:00:53,062 --> 00:00:54,447
That could mean
almost anything.
27
00:00:54,531 --> 00:00:56,666
- No, it can't.
- No, it can't.
28
00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:59,799
Theme song plays...
29
00:01:00,963 --> 00:01:02,987
*MIRACLE WORKERS (2019)*
Season 03 Episode 04
30
00:01:03,071 --> 00:01:05,071
Episode Title:
" What Happens in Branchwater"
31
00:01:05,155 --> 00:01:07,515
Aired on: August 03, 2021.
32
00:01:28,381 --> 00:01:30,406
Oh, I hate this leg
of the trip.
33
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,742
Why did Thomas Jefferson
34
00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:33,728
have to buy
this shit piece of land?
35
00:01:33,812 --> 00:01:35,570
Please don't get started
on Thomas Jefferson again.
36
00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:37,131
- Well, he was a crook.
- Oh, here we go.
37
00:01:37,215 --> 00:01:38,412
Ah, they're all crooks.
38
00:01:38,496 --> 00:01:39,693
But the Whig party
on the other hand,
39
00:01:39,777 --> 00:01:41,534
now they're the party
of the people.
40
00:01:41,618 --> 00:01:43,095
I don't think
we should talk politics.
41
00:01:43,179 --> 00:01:45,097
A million and eleven,
42
00:01:45,181 --> 00:01:46,258
a million and twelve...
43
00:01:46,342 --> 00:01:47,258
a million, thirteen...
44
00:01:47,342 --> 00:01:49,500
a million, sign.
45
00:01:49,584 --> 00:01:50,581
Sign!
46
00:01:50,665 --> 00:01:51,982
- Hey, look!
- Whoa, whoa!
47
00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:53,423
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa.
48
00:01:53,507 --> 00:01:54,744
Hey, look, it's a sign.
49
00:01:54,828 --> 00:01:56,105
Yeah!
Branchwater.
50
00:01:56,189 --> 00:01:59,748
Oh, that is the nastiest
saloon town I've ever been to.
51
00:01:59,832 --> 00:02:01,869
And this is coming from
a guy who spent New Year's
52
00:02:01,953 --> 00:02:03,310
at the Alabama Ass Factory.
53
00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:05,592
- Ooh.
- Sounds wild. Let's go!
54
00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:06,633
No, no, guys,
if we're trying
55
00:02:06,717 --> 00:02:08,034
to get to Oregon
before winter,
56
00:02:08,118 --> 00:02:09,395
we do not have time
for a detour.
57
00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:11,196
Come on, Zeke.
58
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,278
These people need a break.
I need a break.
59
00:02:13,362 --> 00:02:15,279
It'll be good for morale.
60
00:02:15,363 --> 00:02:17,721
- I don't know.
- Please?
61
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,562
Come on, please, please,
please, please, please?
62
00:02:19,646 --> 00:02:20,563
Please, please,
please, please.
63
00:02:23,369 --> 00:02:26,047
Oh... yes. Okay, one.
One night. That's it.
64
00:02:26,131 --> 00:02:28,729
Hey folks!
We're going to Branchwater!
65
00:02:31,615 --> 00:02:32,972
Yes!
66
00:02:34,217 --> 00:02:36,375
Hyah!
67
00:02:36,459 --> 00:02:38,056
Well, well, well.
68
00:02:38,140 --> 00:02:40,578
You see that, Angela?
69
00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:43,711
Looks like we're heading
to Branchwater.
70
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:46,783
Oh, Angela!
Did you fart again?
71
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,385
I told you to stop
eating dairy!
72
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,186
All right,
folks, we made it!
73
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:52,747
It's party time!
74
00:02:52,831 --> 00:02:54,909
I'm getting so drunk,
I'm gonna piss myself.
75
00:02:54,993 --> 00:02:56,350
Me too, honey.
76
00:02:56,434 --> 00:02:57,711
Are you coming in?
77
00:02:57,795 --> 00:02:59,352
No, I'm just gonna
wait by the wagon
78
00:02:59,436 --> 00:03:02,154
and protect my soul
from eternal damnation.
79
00:03:02,238 --> 00:03:03,635
But you have fun.
Come on!
80
00:03:03,719 --> 00:03:05,717
I just want to party
with my best friend.
81
00:03:05,801 --> 00:03:08,599
And ooh! Wait.
Do I hear God?
82
00:03:08,683 --> 00:03:11,161
"Zeke, I command thee
to have fun
83
00:03:11,245 --> 00:03:12,482
for once in your life."
84
00:03:12,566 --> 00:03:14,163
No, that's deeply
sacrilegious, Pru.
85
00:03:14,247 --> 00:03:16,845
"And buy Prudence shots.
Lots and lots of shots."
86
00:03:16,929 --> 00:03:18,286
As I said, no thanks.
87
00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:20,619
A place like this is
no place for a reverend.
88
00:03:21,372 --> 00:03:23,490
All right, fine.
89
00:03:23,574 --> 00:03:25,852
You know, you should try
to loosen up.
90
00:03:25,936 --> 00:03:27,973
Just once. I don't know.
You might like it.
91
00:03:28,057 --> 00:03:31,336
The Bible is what I like.
92
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,418
"These are the names
of the sons of Abraham,
93
00:03:33,502 --> 00:03:36,220
"according to their families,
after their places,
94
00:03:36,304 --> 00:03:37,541
by their names."
95
00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:39,142
Fun.
96
00:03:39,226 --> 00:03:40,022
Fun, fun, fun.
97
00:03:40,106 --> 00:03:42,224
All right, folks.
98
00:03:42,308 --> 00:03:43,625
I say we hit the bar first,
99
00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:45,186
and then we check out
the brothel.
100
00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:46,948
Oh, I am so sorry.
Unfortunately,
101
00:03:47,032 --> 00:03:49,469
we are at capacity
right now. Capacity?
102
00:03:49,553 --> 00:03:50,670
They used to pack this place
103
00:03:50,754 --> 00:03:51,711
tighter than
a sardine barrel.
104
00:03:51,795 --> 00:03:53,392
Oh, you're one of
the old-timers.
105
00:03:53,476 --> 00:03:54,593
Yeah, the Oregon Trail
106
00:03:54,677 --> 00:03:56,515
brought in a ton
of new customers,
107
00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:58,476
so management made
a few changes
108
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,278
to appeal to
a wider clientele.
109
00:04:00,362 --> 00:04:01,558
But if you want to wait
by the gift shop,
110
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,800
I'll let you know as soon as
some space opens up.
111
00:04:03,884 --> 00:04:05,521
Gift shop?
112
00:04:05,605 --> 00:04:07,723
Key chains?
T-shirts?
113
00:04:07,807 --> 00:04:10,685
"The Original
Devil's Taint Cookbook"?
114
00:04:10,769 --> 00:04:12,487
What the hell happened
to this place?
115
00:04:12,571 --> 00:04:13,888
It totally sold out.
116
00:04:13,972 --> 00:04:15,969
Hairy bastard!
117
00:04:16,053 --> 00:04:18,931
Is that what passes as
a saloon brawl these days?
118
00:04:19,015 --> 00:04:20,372
Pretty weak.
119
00:04:20,456 --> 00:04:22,054
Looks like some space
just opened up.
120
00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:24,776
- Enjoy.
- Let's go.
121
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:27,978
"And though shalt know
that I am the Lord."
122
00:04:28,062 --> 00:04:30,380
Whoo! Evenin', my lad!
123
00:04:30,464 --> 00:04:32,702
What's a handsome
young fella like you
124
00:04:32,786 --> 00:04:34,703
doing here all alone
instead of out on the town?
125
00:04:34,787 --> 00:04:36,625
Oh, well, no,
it's not really my scene.
126
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,106
I'm... I'm... I'm a reverend.
127
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,067
Then we both do
the Lord's work.
128
00:04:40,151 --> 00:04:41,869
I peddle miracle cures.
129
00:04:41,953 --> 00:04:44,230
I'm a snake oil salesman.
Snake oil?
130
00:04:44,314 --> 00:04:46,472
Um... no offense, but,
131
00:04:46,556 --> 00:04:48,553
isn't that just a bunch
of hokum? Not at all.
132
00:04:48,637 --> 00:04:51,556
Snake oil is
a potent aphrodisiac.
133
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,078
Might come in handy
with that young missus
134
00:04:54,162 --> 00:04:55,319
I saw you with earlier?
135
00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:56,559
Oh, that lady's
not my missus.
136
00:04:56,643 --> 00:04:57,920
We're just friends.
137
00:04:58,004 --> 00:05:00,803
My mistake. Snake oil
is not merely an aphrodisiac,
138
00:05:00,887 --> 00:05:02,564
it's also quite good
with hair loss.
139
00:05:02,648 --> 00:05:04,165
Oh. I don't have
that issue.
140
00:05:04,249 --> 00:05:05,526
Well, what do you got?
Back pain?
141
00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:06,487
- No.
- Tennis elbow?
142
00:05:06,571 --> 00:05:07,568
- No.
- The pox.
143
00:05:07,652 --> 00:05:08,688
- No, not yet.
- Burgundy stool.
144
00:05:08,772 --> 00:05:10,250
- No.
- Uh, anxiety?
145
00:05:10,334 --> 00:05:11,571
Oh, my friend
did just tell me
146
00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:13,863
I could stand to
loosen up a bit.
147
00:05:14,217 --> 00:05:16,574
That's what snake oil
is for!
148
00:05:16,658 --> 00:05:18,296
But don't take
my word for it.
149
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:21,018
Here.
Try one of my samples.
150
00:05:21,102 --> 00:05:22,259
See for yourself.
151
00:05:22,343 --> 00:05:24,551
Thank you.
152
00:05:27,186 --> 00:05:28,824
Oh. Oh, that's good.
153
00:05:28,908 --> 00:05:30,465
Yeah. Oh, it's got
an aftertaste.
154
00:05:30,549 --> 00:05:31,706
Yeah, kinda snakey.
155
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,147
Now you only need
a little bit.
156
00:05:33,231 --> 00:05:35,629
Just one or two drops
ought to do it. Mmm!
157
00:05:35,713 --> 00:05:37,710
Hey, man. Don't tell me
how to live my life.
158
00:05:37,794 --> 00:05:40,003
Shit, this stuff's great.
159
00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:42,314
Are you gonna be
all right here? Oh, yes.
160
00:05:42,398 --> 00:05:45,556
I'll just amuse myself by
looking at the pretty bottles.
161
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:46,837
All right, I'm gonna go
find the poker table,
162
00:05:46,921 --> 00:05:48,198
throw some cash around
with the big boys.
163
00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:49,399
Wish me luck.
164
00:05:51,004 --> 00:05:53,212
Hey, barkeep. Whiskey.
165
00:05:56,528 --> 00:05:58,406
And so that is why
166
00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,327
I raised the prices
on the Tijuana Coochie Twist.
167
00:06:00,411 --> 00:06:02,609
Finally, girl.
That move is worth it.
168
00:06:02,693 --> 00:06:04,850
Um, excuse me.
169
00:06:04,934 --> 00:06:07,452
Are you ladies
women of the night?
170
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:10,334
It's the 1840s.
171
00:06:10,418 --> 00:06:11,856
The preferred term
is whores.
172
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:15,618
Oh, sorry. Didn't mean
to offend you... whores.
173
00:06:15,702 --> 00:06:17,620
I just think what you do
is so amazing.
174
00:06:17,704 --> 00:06:19,341
It's always sounded
so exotic.
175
00:06:19,425 --> 00:06:20,302
Well, would you want
to give it a try?
176
00:06:20,386 --> 00:06:22,143
What? No!
177
00:06:22,227 --> 00:06:23,784
Me? Come... really?
178
00:06:23,868 --> 00:06:25,786
Come on, let's just get you
into a dress.
179
00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:27,948
We have one exactly
your size.
180
00:06:28,032 --> 00:06:29,829
One of the girls was just
stabbed to death in it.
181
00:06:29,913 --> 00:06:33,202
Oh. Just my luck.
182
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,994
Excuse me, boys.
183
00:06:37,078 --> 00:06:37,955
You mind if I join?
184
00:06:38,039 --> 00:06:39,676
This ain't no game
for a gentleman.
185
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,438
I may be a gentleman,
186
00:06:41,522 --> 00:06:44,000
but, uh... whew.
187
00:06:44,084 --> 00:06:45,361
My friends here...
188
00:06:45,445 --> 00:06:47,693
well, they play real dirty.
189
00:06:48,927 --> 00:06:51,136
Take a seat.
190
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:55,459
Interesting.
191
00:06:57,413 --> 00:06:58,530
All in.
192
00:06:58,614 --> 00:07:00,011
Full house.
193
00:07:00,095 --> 00:07:02,304
Shit!
194
00:07:03,218 --> 00:07:04,735
That's...
195
00:07:04,819 --> 00:07:06,897
Okay.
Let me just, um...
196
00:07:06,981 --> 00:07:09,058
Okay.
197
00:07:09,142 --> 00:07:11,060
Now I'm focused.
198
00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:12,100
I'm sorry, madam,
199
00:07:12,184 --> 00:07:14,382
this prostitution menu
is ridiculous.
200
00:07:14,466 --> 00:07:16,023
There's too many choices.
201
00:07:16,107 --> 00:07:17,504
I remember when
all you could order
202
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:18,946
was a 2-buck
pump and dump.
203
00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:21,238
And that was
all you needed.
204
00:07:22,272 --> 00:07:24,480
Benny the Teen.
205
00:07:26,475 --> 00:07:28,593
Choose your last words
carefully,
206
00:07:28,677 --> 00:07:31,966
because this time,
there'll be no escape.
207
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,558
Whoopsie!
I'll take that.
208
00:07:35,642 --> 00:07:37,519
This is a no-shooting
establishment after 6:00.
209
00:07:37,603 --> 00:07:38,920
You can grab your gun
from the valet
210
00:07:39,004 --> 00:07:40,842
on your way out.
Thank you so much!
211
00:07:40,926 --> 00:07:41,682
Cute hat.
212
00:07:41,766 --> 00:07:43,444
I'm sorry, what the hell?
213
00:07:43,528 --> 00:07:46,046
I know!
This place sucks now.
214
00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:48,338
What the?
215
00:07:50,773 --> 00:07:53,812
Almost done! And...
216
00:07:53,896 --> 00:07:55,373
Voila.
217
00:07:55,457 --> 00:07:58,215
Oh, my God.
I look like a whore.
218
00:07:58,299 --> 00:07:59,536
And I love it!
219
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,377
Girl, you're like
a young Betsy Ross,
220
00:08:01,461 --> 00:08:04,339
but like, a whore.
221
00:08:04,423 --> 00:08:05,981
Ha, ha!
222
00:08:06,065 --> 00:08:08,703
Howdy, folks.
Somebody order a party?
223
00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:12,025
- Reverend Brown?
- Farmer John! Looking sexy!
224
00:08:12,109 --> 00:08:14,427
Granny McGill,
we are doing shots later
225
00:08:14,511 --> 00:08:16,719
and you're not
getting out of it.
226
00:08:17,113 --> 00:08:18,310
Zeke, is that you?
227
00:08:18,394 --> 00:08:21,512
Your first client!
228
00:08:21,596 --> 00:08:23,714
Whoa, Prude!
Is that you?
229
00:08:23,798 --> 00:08:25,075
What do you think?
Just a little something
230
00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:27,557
I picked up from
a dead whore's closet.
231
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:28,557
Thought you were waiting
in the wagon.
232
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,559
Hmm, well, yes, I was.
But then,
233
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,560
I had a little bit
of this snake oil,
234
00:08:32,644 --> 00:08:34,242
and now I'm feeling good.
235
00:08:34,326 --> 00:08:36,844
Reverend Brown gettin' down
with snake oil?
236
00:08:36,928 --> 00:08:38,085
- What would Jesus think?
- Bleagh!
237
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,046
Who cares what he thinks?
Aah!
238
00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:41,527
I've lived my whole life
with all those rules
239
00:08:41,611 --> 00:08:43,368
and restrictions.
I've been such a dork, right?
240
00:08:43,452 --> 00:08:44,529
- I mean, yeah, a little.
- Yeah!
241
00:08:44,613 --> 00:08:45,730
I just want to scream it
out to the world...
242
00:08:45,814 --> 00:08:48,052
Reverend Ezekiel Brown
is a big fat dork!
243
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,493
Oh, my God! Stop.
244
00:08:49,577 --> 00:08:51,535
But don't. I love it.
You hearing that music?
245
00:08:51,619 --> 00:08:52,775
Is it coming from the piano
or is it coming
246
00:08:52,859 --> 00:08:53,936
straight from my heart?
Do you want to dance?
247
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:56,498
No, Prudence,
I don't want to dance.
248
00:08:56,582 --> 00:08:58,179
I need to dance.
249
00:08:58,263 --> 00:09:00,501
I mean, what the hell
happened to this place?
250
00:09:00,585 --> 00:09:02,383
Used to be you could come in
any night of the week
251
00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:04,264
and you'd find
Three-Fingered Joe
252
00:09:04,348 --> 00:09:05,945
strangling anyone who
looked at him sideways.
253
00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:07,587
- Oh, Dirty Dick Bob.
- Right?
254
00:09:07,671 --> 00:09:08,587
Sticking his you-know-what
255
00:09:08,671 --> 00:09:09,988
into whatever hole
he could find.
256
00:09:10,072 --> 00:09:11,830
Kids these days
are buying cowboy hats
257
00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:13,471
with bullet holes
already in them.
258
00:09:13,555 --> 00:09:14,792
- You're kidding!
- No!
259
00:09:14,876 --> 00:09:16,833
Sorry for that long wait.
Now what can I get you?
260
00:09:16,917 --> 00:09:18,755
I'll have a steak,
bloody.
261
00:09:18,839 --> 00:09:20,476
- Make that two.
- Ooh, sorry.
262
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,077
We actually stopped
carrying steak.
263
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,199
- No steak?
- We do have shishito peppers,
264
00:09:24,283 --> 00:09:26,721
that are lightly drizzled
with Ortega cheese,
265
00:09:26,805 --> 00:09:28,882
that are just
absolutely mmm!
266
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:30,604
All right, that's it.
I've had enough!
267
00:09:31,889 --> 00:09:33,606
That's what's wrong
with this country today!
268
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:35,808
You make everything
clean and nice
269
00:09:35,892 --> 00:09:37,649
and pretty for everyone,
but then you lose
270
00:09:37,733 --> 00:09:39,931
what makes it cool
and authentic and real!
271
00:09:40,015 --> 00:09:41,932
I want the grit!
I want the soul!
272
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:44,534
Yeah! Most of all, I
want my goddamn steak!
273
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,015
Do you want to speak
to the manager?
274
00:09:46,099 --> 00:09:48,337
Yes, I'd like to speak
to the manager, thank you.
275
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,778
Ho ho, that was great!
276
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:51,179
Was the fist slam too much?
277
00:09:51,263 --> 00:09:53,301
No, it was perfect.
278
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:54,942
Ow.
279
00:09:55,026 --> 00:09:57,544
Well, it has not been
my night.
280
00:09:57,628 --> 00:09:59,065
I almost had you
on that last hand.
281
00:09:59,149 --> 00:10:01,357
Just...
Okay.
282
00:10:02,511 --> 00:10:03,628
Hoo! Finally.
283
00:10:03,712 --> 00:10:06,401
Okay, looks like my ship
has come in.
284
00:10:08,436 --> 00:10:10,113
- I'll raise.
- Sorry, pardner,
285
00:10:10,197 --> 00:10:11,514
but you got nothing left
to raise with.
286
00:10:11,598 --> 00:10:14,676
I have more money,
in my wagon.
287
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,078
Well, I'm good for it.
I swear.
288
00:10:16,162 --> 00:10:19,320
I'll take the gentleman's
word for it. Let's see.
289
00:10:19,404 --> 00:10:21,522
Four aces.
290
00:10:21,606 --> 00:10:23,483
Read 'em and weep,
you filthy bastards!
291
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:24,964
Not so fast.
292
00:10:25,048 --> 00:10:26,005
Five aces.
293
00:10:26,089 --> 00:10:28,167
What? How is that
even possible?
294
00:10:28,251 --> 00:10:29,087
Hold on.
295
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:31,889
- Twelve aces.
- Dang it!
296
00:10:31,973 --> 00:10:35,292
I do not understand
the rules of this game.
297
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:37,694
Gentlemen, you wanted to speak
with the manager?
298
00:10:37,778 --> 00:10:39,095
You're damn right
we want to...
299
00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:41,737
- Dirty Dick Bob?
- Benny the Teen?
300
00:10:41,821 --> 00:10:43,418
Bounty hunter with no name?
301
00:10:43,502 --> 00:10:44,779
How the hell are you guys?
302
00:10:44,863 --> 00:10:46,820
We were just talking
about you!
303
00:10:46,904 --> 00:10:48,742
- What?
- How'd they let a nasty pervert
304
00:10:48,826 --> 00:10:51,584
like Dirty Dick Bob
run a slick joint like this?
305
00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:53,826
Actually, it's
Dirty Dick Robert now.
306
00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:55,467
I run the front of the house,
307
00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:56,588
and my wife
handles the books.
308
00:10:56,672 --> 00:10:58,269
- You have a wife?
- I sure do.
309
00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,831
I can't believe it!
You used to stick your dick
310
00:11:00,915 --> 00:11:02,072
into anything that moved!
311
00:11:02,156 --> 00:11:03,193
And plenty of stuff
that didn't!
312
00:11:03,277 --> 00:11:05,755
Yes, I did fornicate
with objects,
313
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,796
but you can't stay young
forever.
314
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,517
Eventually
you gotta grow up
315
00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:11,279
and start having a real life.
316
00:11:11,363 --> 00:11:14,401
But enough about me.
What have you guys been up to?
317
00:11:14,485 --> 00:11:15,962
Oh, you know,
mostly the same stuff.
318
00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:17,163
You know,
chasing this guy.
319
00:11:17,247 --> 00:11:19,445
Yeah, the same.
Being chased by him.
320
00:11:19,529 --> 00:11:23,288
Wow, so you guys are still
doing that whole thing.
321
00:11:23,372 --> 00:11:25,689
Well, cool. Very cool.
322
00:11:25,773 --> 00:11:27,811
I'd love to stay and chat,
323
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,612
but I should get back to work.
324
00:11:29,696 --> 00:11:31,854
Sure, but maybe we could
all hang out sometime.
325
00:11:31,938 --> 00:11:34,016
Maybe. It... it's difficult
with the kids and all.
326
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,537
Hostess, more
shishito peppers over here!
327
00:11:36,621 --> 00:11:38,579
On the house!
328
00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,020
Huh.
329
00:11:40,104 --> 00:11:41,421
Yeah.
330
00:11:42,826 --> 00:11:44,463
My skin feels electric.
331
00:11:44,547 --> 00:11:46,025
Touch it!
It's electric, right?
332
00:11:46,109 --> 00:11:47,426
Why can't it be
like this forever?
333
00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:49,907
I don't want to go to stupid
Oregon and be a boring wife.
334
00:11:49,991 --> 00:11:51,989
Shh! Shh!
Shush your mouth right now.
335
00:11:52,073 --> 00:11:53,870
I'm shushing. Nothing
has to change after this trip.
336
00:11:53,954 --> 00:11:56,512
It's your life, and you can do
whatever you want to do,
337
00:11:56,596 --> 00:11:57,873
and be whoever
you want to be.
338
00:11:57,957 --> 00:12:00,155
You're right.
Thanks, Zeke.
339
00:12:00,239 --> 00:12:01,156
I have an idea.
340
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,557
Why don't we do
some more snake oil?
341
00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:03,878
Are you sure you need
any more?
342
00:12:03,962 --> 00:12:05,239
We're already having fun.
But think about it...
343
00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:06,920
If we're having fun now,
things will be extra fun
344
00:12:07,004 --> 00:12:08,561
with more snake oil!
That's just basic math.
345
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,723
Still a pass for me. Thanks,
though. Oh, all right, Mom.
346
00:12:10,807 --> 00:12:13,165
More yum-yums
for Freaky Zekey.
347
00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:13,965
Whoa, easy, champ.
348
00:12:14,049 --> 00:12:15,887
Okay, Zeke, no.
Come on.
349
00:12:15,971 --> 00:12:17,928
You need to take it down,
like, so many notches.
350
00:12:18,012 --> 00:12:19,169
You're acting out of control.
Out of control? No.
351
00:12:19,253 --> 00:12:21,731
I am in control for
the first time in my life.
352
00:12:21,815 --> 00:12:24,013
There are no consequences
to my actions. I'm free!
353
00:12:25,498 --> 00:12:27,055
You're next, Ezekiel.
354
00:12:27,139 --> 00:12:29,388
Ahh! The devil has come
for my soul!
355
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,870
I just meant
his song request is next.
356
00:12:33,704 --> 00:12:35,913
Zeke.
357
00:12:36,826 --> 00:12:38,023
Maybe my girlfriend's right.
358
00:12:38,107 --> 00:12:40,956
Maybe I do come on too strong.
359
00:12:45,913 --> 00:12:47,230
Can you believe
Dirty Dick Bob sold out?
360
00:12:47,314 --> 00:12:49,752
What a loser, huh?
I don't know, Benny.
361
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,045
What if we're the losers?
362
00:12:52,958 --> 00:12:55,316
What are you talking about?
We're the only real ones left.
363
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,717
- Remember?
- Are we?
364
00:12:56,801 --> 00:12:57,958
Look at us.
365
00:12:58,042 --> 00:12:59,439
We're doing the same thing
366
00:12:59,523 --> 00:13:00,680
we were doing
since we were kids.
367
00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:04,883
We don't have families
or houses or real jobs.
368
00:13:04,967 --> 00:13:06,845
It's kinda pathetic,
isn't it?
369
00:13:06,929 --> 00:13:08,646
Let me ask you something...
Do you love it?
370
00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:10,688
- Oh, stop it.
- Do you love it?
371
00:13:10,772 --> 00:13:12,089
Of course I love it.
372
00:13:12,173 --> 00:13:16,452
But there comes a time
when you have to move on.
373
00:13:16,536 --> 00:13:18,905
Leave childish things
behind.
374
00:13:20,539 --> 00:13:22,747
I'm hanging up my hat.
375
00:13:23,381 --> 00:13:25,590
Maybe you should, too.
376
00:13:26,744 --> 00:13:28,952
Dingus.
377
00:13:30,707 --> 00:13:32,024
Zeke.
378
00:13:32,108 --> 00:13:33,224
- Ooh.
- Todd.
379
00:13:33,308 --> 00:13:34,666
I... I didn't expect you
to see me like this.
380
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,707
Sorry, whore, I don't have time
for your cheap tricks.
381
00:13:36,791 --> 00:13:38,949
I just gambled away
my entire fortune.
382
00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:40,990
- You did what?
- Yeah, don't tell the missus.
383
00:13:41,074 --> 00:13:42,832
Anyway, I gotta get
out of here quick
384
00:13:42,916 --> 00:13:45,634
before those big
stinkin' lugs find me.
385
00:13:47,879 --> 00:13:49,276
I've been looking
all over for you.
386
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,279
The only thing I'm
looking for is your blood.
387
00:13:52,363 --> 00:13:55,321
What's going on?
388
00:13:55,405 --> 00:14:00,215
♪♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ♪♪
389
00:14:01,690 --> 00:14:06,609
♪♪ She'll be coming round the
mountain when she comes ♪♪
390
00:14:06,693 --> 00:14:08,531
Holy smokes!
Is that the reverend?
391
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,013
What's he doing up there?
392
00:14:11,097 --> 00:14:13,534
Look at
those dead shark eyes.
393
00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:15,136
Does he even know
where he is?
394
00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:18,411
I think he's just completely
out of his mind at this point.
395
00:14:18,496 --> 00:14:20,019
♪♪ The mountain ♪♪
396
00:14:20,103 --> 00:14:24,273
♪♪ When she comes ♪♪
397
00:14:26,388 --> 00:14:29,466
♪♪ She'll be driving six white
horses when she comes ♪♪
398
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:33,910
♪♪ She'll be driving six
white horses when she comes ♪♪
399
00:14:33,994 --> 00:14:36,111
Shake it, baby!
400
00:14:36,195 --> 00:14:37,712
♪♪ She'll be driving
six white horses ♪♪
401
00:14:37,796 --> 00:14:41,836
♪♪ She'll be driving six white
horses when she comes ♪♪
402
00:14:59,212 --> 00:15:01,090
♪♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain
403
00:15:01,174 --> 00:15:03,171
- ♪♪ When she comes ♪♪
- ♪♪ When she comes ♪♪
404
00:15:03,255 --> 00:15:05,133
♪♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ♪♪
405
00:15:05,217 --> 00:15:06,974
- ♪♪ When she comes ♪♪
- ♪♪ When she comes ♪♪
406
00:15:07,058 --> 00:15:09,016
♪♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain ♪♪
407
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,577
♪♪ She'll be coming
round the mountain ♪♪
408
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:14,500
♪♪ She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes ♪♪
409
00:15:14,584 --> 00:15:16,902
♪♪ Comes, comes, comes ♪♪
410
00:15:16,986 --> 00:15:21,145
♪♪ Comes, comes, comes,
comes, comes ♪♪
411
00:15:27,754 --> 00:15:29,391
Hey.
412
00:15:34,359 --> 00:15:36,036
Zeke, that was...
413
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,717
I didn't even know
what to say.
414
00:15:37,801 --> 00:15:39,078
Just... wow.
415
00:15:39,162 --> 00:15:40,719
Prudence, there is something
416
00:15:40,803 --> 00:15:43,172
I've wanted to do
for a long time.
417
00:15:53,293 --> 00:15:55,731
- Honk, honk.
- Excuse me?
418
00:15:55,815 --> 00:15:57,652
Beep beep! Arooga!
419
00:15:57,736 --> 00:15:59,945
Well, that was unexpected.
420
00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:05,058
Pro tip?
Rob him while he's out.
421
00:16:05,142 --> 00:16:06,779
Here, I'll show you.
422
00:16:06,863 --> 00:16:08,620
Oh, nice.
He's got a Bible.
423
00:16:10,305 --> 00:16:12,503
Oh, we got most
of the glitter off,
424
00:16:12,587 --> 00:16:14,825
and some coffee should help
the headache.
425
00:16:14,909 --> 00:16:17,117
Thank you, Granny.
426
00:16:19,993 --> 00:16:23,551
Prudence, I believe
a massive apology is in order.
427
00:16:23,635 --> 00:16:26,073
Obviously I was totally
out of my mind last night
428
00:16:26,157 --> 00:16:27,835
and I just hope you know
that none of that
429
00:16:27,919 --> 00:16:28,915
would've happened
had it not been
430
00:16:28,999 --> 00:16:31,037
for the snake oil.
Sorry to interrupt,
431
00:16:31,121 --> 00:16:33,399
but, uh,
to protect myself legally
432
00:16:33,483 --> 00:16:37,322
I should mention that snake oil
is completely fraudulent
433
00:16:37,406 --> 00:16:39,763
and has no effects
whatsoever. What?
434
00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:41,401
You kids take care.
435
00:16:41,645 --> 00:16:43,975
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no...
436
00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:45,738
You were saying?
437
00:16:45,884 --> 00:16:47,481
So if snake oil is fake then
438
00:16:47,566 --> 00:16:49,935
everything I did last night
was just me?
439
00:16:50,696 --> 00:16:52,093
Yeah.
440
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,068
I'm disgusting.
I'm worse than disgusting.
441
00:16:54,153 --> 00:16:55,717
- I'm a sinner.
- It wasn't great,
442
00:16:55,802 --> 00:16:57,248
- but I wouldn't go that far.
- No, you don't understand.
443
00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:00,299
I've committed a cardinal sin.
I've coveted my...
444
00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:01,706
neighbor's wife.
445
00:17:01,791 --> 00:17:04,389
What, what do you mean,
you covet me?
446
00:17:04,474 --> 00:17:06,791
Like, covet, covet?
447
00:17:06,875 --> 00:17:09,954
Yeah, like covet, covet.
448
00:17:10,038 --> 00:17:12,596
But, you're my best friend.
449
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,277
- I know.
- And I'm married.
450
00:17:14,361 --> 00:17:16,679
I know. Look, Pru,
I'm so sorry.
451
00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:18,760
I tried to bury these feelings
for a long time.
452
00:17:18,844 --> 00:17:21,803
I'm sorry, this is
a lot to take in.
453
00:17:21,887 --> 00:17:24,095
I'm gonna go.
454
00:17:24,528 --> 00:17:25,605
Girl troubles, huh?
455
00:17:25,689 --> 00:17:27,367
You know the best cure
for that?
456
00:17:27,451 --> 00:17:29,969
- Snake oil.
- You just told me it was fake.
457
00:17:30,053 --> 00:17:32,210
Shit.
458
00:17:36,617 --> 00:17:39,336
Well, I guess
this is goodbye.
459
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:41,377
Yeah, you know,
this feels kinda weird.
460
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,461
Guess I thought
we'd be doing this forever.
461
00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:45,740
You're a free man, right?
462
00:17:45,824 --> 00:17:48,142
You finally got away from me,
fair and square.
463
00:17:48,226 --> 00:17:50,184
You take care,
Benny the Teen.
464
00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:52,305
You too, nameless
bounty hunter guy.
465
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,471
Hey.
466
00:18:00,555 --> 00:18:03,193
My fingers are feeling
a little sticky.
467
00:18:03,277 --> 00:18:05,355
I'm thinking I might
steal this horse.
468
00:18:05,439 --> 00:18:08,048
Okay, don't do that.
You know that's a felony.
469
00:18:09,482 --> 00:18:11,800
Oops.
Did I do that?
470
00:18:11,884 --> 00:18:14,722
All right, you'd
better stop that, Benjamin.
471
00:18:14,806 --> 00:18:17,014
Or what?
472
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:19,142
You gonna shoot me
for being naughty?
473
00:18:20,989 --> 00:18:22,528
Are we really doing this?
474
00:18:22,612 --> 00:18:25,930
I don't know.
Are we?
475
00:18:26,014 --> 00:18:28,212
All right, dirtbag.
476
00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:30,093
I'm gonna give you
a 60-second head start
477
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,335
before I shoot you
full of lead.
478
00:18:32,419 --> 00:18:34,257
The only thing
you'll be shooting
479
00:18:34,341 --> 00:18:35,778
is my dust.
480
00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:37,739
Whoosh! Whoo hoo hoo!
481
00:18:37,823 --> 00:18:40,621
60, 59, 58...
482
00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:42,383
All right, people,
we gotta get a move on!
483
00:18:42,467 --> 00:18:44,504
Got a bounty hunter
hot on my ass!
484
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:46,706
Ooh. Wild night, huh?
485
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:48,987
- Don't want to talk about it.
- Fair enough. Hyah!
486
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:54,151
What?
487
00:18:54,235 --> 00:18:56,444
You don't feel like
singing now?
488
00:18:58,278 --> 00:18:59,796
Five, four, three,
489
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,958
two, one.
Ready or not, here I come!
490
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,480
Oh, shoot! Where's my gun?
491
00:19:05,564 --> 00:19:07,772
Oh, shoot,
I left it at the valet!
492
00:19:08,966 --> 00:19:12,616
Hi! Hi. Um, I'm the cute
silver one in the back.
493
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,567
Um, I don't have my ticket,
494
00:19:15,651 --> 00:19:17,369
but if you give me that gun,
I won't shoot you.
495
00:19:17,453 --> 00:19:19,250
Have a great day!
496
00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:22,572
I'm coming for you, Benny!
35650
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