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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,709 --> 00:00:05,789 Gather around, gentle viewers, have I got a story for you! 2 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,575 (laughing) 3 00:00:08,166 --> 00:00:08,996 (beeps) 4 00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:10,713 A-Bomb: 'Twas the night before Christmas, 5 00:00:10,792 --> 00:00:14,292 when all through the town, not a creature was stirring, 6 00:00:14,375 --> 00:00:16,285 except for this Negative Zone clown. 7 00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:22,669 A-Bomb: His monsters beside him, Blastaar thought New York he could trash. 8 00:00:22,750 --> 00:00:23,920 (roaring) 9 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:28,535 A-Bomb: But in his way stood the Hulk, and his Agents of S.M.A.S.H. 10 00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:31,165 I'll take Scrooge. You get his little helpers. 11 00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,880 A-Bomb: Ho, ho, ho! 12 00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:36,081 Merry smash-mas! 13 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,666 -A-Bomb: Hey! -Skaar: Skaar slash! 14 00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,166 Oops. 15 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:45,383 She-Hulk: Rink's closed, frosty! 16 00:00:48,291 --> 00:00:49,541 (yelling) 17 00:00:51,709 --> 00:00:53,709 (rumbling) 18 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,165 Hulk: I'm sending you home. 19 00:01:01,041 --> 00:01:02,921 Happy holidays. 20 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Sayonara, Snaggletooth! 21 00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:08,003 A-Bomb: Don't let the portal hit you in the butt on your way out! 22 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:15,503 Jameson: Congratulations, you muscle-bound menaces! 23 00:01:16,083 --> 00:01:18,173 Not only did you destroy a city block, 24 00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:20,880 not only did your wooly-faced playmate get away, 25 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,709 but you ruined Christmas, too. Nice going. 26 00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:26,331 (whimpering) 27 00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:28,705 -Blastaar started it. -Come on, Rick. 28 00:01:28,792 --> 00:01:30,082 Hulk: Let's clean this up. 29 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:34,166 (A-Bomb sighs) Sure. We'll just clean it up. 30 00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:38,040 "Clean it up"? Yeah, sure. Maybe you can wreck New Year's eve, too! 31 00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:41,998 Something gets smashed, we get the blame. 32 00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:43,625 It's not fair! 33 00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:44,829 (groans) 34 00:01:44,917 --> 00:01:46,877 I'm about ready to sue somebody. 35 00:01:47,667 --> 00:01:50,457 You accidentally trash one major city, 36 00:01:50,542 --> 00:01:54,832 and suddenly you're off the invite list to the White House Christmas dinner. 37 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,127 Humbug. 38 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,210 Hulks always called losers. 39 00:01:59,917 --> 00:02:02,577 Skaar need eggnog. And ham. 40 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,575 It'd just be nice if someday 41 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:08,329 my team could get the respect they deserve. 42 00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:11,165 (wolf howling) 43 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,630 (whooshes) 44 00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:17,129 Can't get everything you want for Christmas. 45 00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:18,958 Or apparently, anything. 46 00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:20,791 Hey! A shooting star! Make a wish! 47 00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:23,463 -(all scoff) -Ugh. 48 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:28,130 Star light, star bright, I wish I may, I wish I might, 49 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:29,998 have the wish I wish tonight! 50 00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:33,252 A-Bomb: I wish for the perfect Christmas. 51 00:02:34,792 --> 00:02:36,082 A-Bomb: Greetings, true believers, 52 00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:39,668 and welcome to the Hulk-Out Holiday Smash-Travaganza! 53 00:02:41,166 --> 00:02:44,036 Coming to you live from the awesomely mega-mondo, 54 00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:45,455 Hulk Tower! 55 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,882 I know I speak for all in New York City 56 00:02:49,959 --> 00:02:55,749 when I wish a "happy holidays" to the greatest superheroes in the world, 57 00:02:55,834 --> 00:03:00,674 the Incredible Hulk and his awesome Agents of S.M.A.S.H.! 58 00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:02,960 (crowd cheering) 59 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,331 Thanks, JJ. 60 00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:11,077 And thanks to you at home for making my little web show 61 00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:14,036 the most popular and beloved series of all time. 62 00:03:15,709 --> 00:03:19,459 Wow! Sometimes I forget how perfectly everything turned out. 63 00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:28,464 (theme music) 64 00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:34,459 You know, some of you may be wondering 65 00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:37,252 what your favorite Hulks do when they're not out saving the world. 66 00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:41,207 -(imitates electric guitar) -(Heavy metal music plays) 67 00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:43,671 Yours truly will be going on tour with my band, 68 00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,920 and yes, the rumors are true. 69 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,630 I am dating superstar, actress, model, and philanthropist, 70 00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:51,209 - Eliza Dushku. -(wolf whistle) 71 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,420 Hey, Jen. You know, we really should do a movie together. 72 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,420 Have your people call my people. 73 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,170 Besides her A-list acting career, 74 00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:01,381 somehow she found the time to get her law degree, 75 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,168 and now she sits on the Supreme Court! 76 00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:05,381 I'm tough, but I'm fair. 77 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,670 (Skaar yells) 78 00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:09,290 (thuds, shatters) 79 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:14,745 (laughs) Ladies and gents, the reigning World Wrestling Champion, 80 00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:16,044 Skaar! 81 00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:20,918 Ooh, yeah! And wrestling not fake. 82 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,880 (doorbell chimes) 83 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,536 (softly) All clear. 84 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:30,167 I see the President of the United States has finally arrived! 85 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:34,420 Sorry I'm late. Just flew back from a ceremony in South Dakota. 86 00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:38,825 Aw, who's my red-nosed dinosaur? 87 00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:40,287 (purring) 88 00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:45,166 It's nice that the world has finally accepted the Hulks. 89 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,500 But I'm happy when my family's happy. 90 00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:51,712 As we light the yule log, 91 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,132 we celebrate another holiday season together. 92 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:58,130 Merry Christmas, and a happy new year! 93 00:04:58,208 --> 00:04:59,288 (distant coughing) 94 00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:01,037 A-Bomb: Something's coming down the chimney! 95 00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:02,880 (A-Bomb panting) 96 00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:05,289 Awfully small for Santa Claus. 97 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:10,290 And Santa doesn't have a bushy tail. 98 00:05:10,417 --> 00:05:13,417 Hulks! I don't have time to explain, but I need you to trust me! 99 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:14,960 Rocket: None of this is real! 100 00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:17,171 Hulk: Hey! The critter can talk! 101 00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:18,961 And you ain't listening. 102 00:05:19,041 --> 00:05:22,791 Rocket: You're all under the influence of a holographic neural inducer. 103 00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,245 Shoo, talky fur ball! 104 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:28,331 Huh. Maybe I need to speak a different language. 105 00:05:28,417 --> 00:05:29,997 Red Hulk: Whoa! Shots fired! 106 00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:32,423 That raccoon needs some Christmas spirit! 107 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,170 -Knock it off! -Ow! 108 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,711 Not a raccoon. The name's Rocket. 109 00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:40,167 Rocket Raccoon? Cool name! 110 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:43,040 It's Rocket. Just Rocket. 111 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,285 I'm one of the Guardians of the Galaxy. 112 00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:47,955 Why would one of the Guardians of the Galaxy 113 00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:49,131 be shooting at us? 114 00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:52,708 I'm not! I'm trying to save you hairless wonders! 115 00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:57,376 Whoa! What is that? 116 00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:01,578 Don't know, but there's something familiar about it. 117 00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:03,167 Uh-oh. Here comes some more. 118 00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:05,921 (whooshing) 119 00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:07,922 Let 'em have it! 120 00:06:08,709 --> 00:06:10,289 (grunting) 121 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,173 I like your style, Legs. 122 00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:19,460 Sorry, Whiskers, you're not my type. 123 00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,378 (grunt) 124 00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:32,458 Hey, Raccoon! These robots seem awfully real to me. 125 00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:33,962 Hey, stop callin' me a raccoon! 126 00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:37,711 I'm an alien that just happens to look exactly like an earth raccoon! 127 00:06:39,291 --> 00:06:42,291 So, the talking space raccoon is weird, I grant you. 128 00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:45,325 But, we're all celebrity superheroes, the world loves us, 129 00:06:45,458 --> 00:06:47,458 we live in this swanky New York skyscraper, 130 00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:49,332 my girlfriend is a movie star, 131 00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:51,207 how can any of this not be real? 132 00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:52,961 (Rocket scoffs) I'll show ya. 133 00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,463 What's happening? 134 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,710 Hulk: Holograms. 135 00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:06,708 So... We're not rich and famous? 136 00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:10,632 Aw, I was writin' my state of the union speech! 137 00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:12,289 Wrestling fake. 138 00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:15,423 I've been working so hard to make Hulk a hero. 139 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,290 I should have known it was too good to be true. 140 00:07:17,417 --> 00:07:20,577 (growls) No one messes with my family! 141 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,665 Hulk smash! 142 00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:28,633 A-Bomb: Yahoo! 143 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,379 Where are we? 144 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:33,040 Rocket: Some kind of giant starship, I figure. 145 00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:35,285 You were abducted, just like me and my team! 146 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,575 And imprisoned in one of these holo-cells. 147 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,167 Abducted by who? 148 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,785 I don't know. But that central array up there, 149 00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:43,625 reads and rewrites minds. 150 00:07:43,709 --> 00:07:46,749 Creates holograms of everybody's greatest wish. 151 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:50,294 Whoever did it also thought I was an earth raccoon. 152 00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:53,077 Put me in with all the other furry pets. 153 00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:54,961 I was able to escape. 154 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:59,211 Man (on PA): An oversight I will correct. I do hate not having a complete set. 155 00:08:02,709 --> 00:08:04,039 I'm back. 156 00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:07,923 The Collector. 157 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,130 And you Hulks have ruined my collection 158 00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:12,878 for the last time! 159 00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:16,168 (grunts) 160 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:19,960 Guess you didn't collect enough bruises last time you messed with us. 161 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:24,631 The past is irrelevant. Now you will return to your displays. 162 00:08:24,709 --> 00:08:28,579 After all, I wouldn't want you to get damaged. 163 00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:31,127 Good thing he didn't take away our accessories. 164 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:37,713 -Give 'em what for, Fuzzy! -Smash 'em, Hulks! 165 00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:39,292 A-Bombs away! 166 00:08:40,792 --> 00:08:42,382 Walls could not contain you, 167 00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:45,958 so I put you in a world where you'll always be content. 168 00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:49,001 A dream from which you'll never want to wake. 169 00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:51,883 You will be prisoners in my collection, forever. 170 00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:55,749 And never even know it. The perfect revenge. 171 00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:59,212 Ugh! Now you're dreaming! 172 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,500 Now that you meatheads figured it out, 173 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,383 you got to help me bust out the Guardians. 174 00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:07,881 -Rocket: Stop a war. -War? What war? 175 00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:10,669 Between the Kree and the Shi'ar. 176 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,790 Two of the most powerful alien races. 177 00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:15,377 We were transporting the Orb of Truth, 178 00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:17,878 a symbol of universal trust, to a summit, 179 00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:20,209 when this Collector kidnapped us. 180 00:09:20,291 --> 00:09:22,081 There can be no peace without it. 181 00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,326 What's their war to us? Hey, get off of me! 182 00:09:24,417 --> 00:09:26,077 We got to find a way to get home! 183 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:29,626 Your home is smack dab in the middle of the two empires. 184 00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:32,749 If you don't care about billions of Kree and Shi'ar, 185 00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:35,174 you may care about getting caught in the crossfire. 186 00:09:36,083 --> 00:09:39,923 No. We'll help 'cause we care about doing the right thing. 187 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,500 Okay, so which one of these cells are your pals in? 188 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:45,043 I don't know, Legs, but I bet we can find out on that console. 189 00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:50,290 Get Ramjet Rodent up there. We'll hold 'em off! 190 00:09:50,417 --> 00:09:51,707 Hang on, little buddy! 191 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,082 Thanks for the lift, Blue. 192 00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:55,286 But they don't call me "Rocket" for nothing. 193 00:09:58,625 --> 00:10:01,495 (grunting) 194 00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:07,535 (A-Bomb groans) 195 00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:11,674 What's so special about the Guardians, anyway? 196 00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:13,670 Here they are. See for yourself. 197 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:17,500 Rocket: You have a She-Hulk, but is she as dangerous as Gamora, 198 00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:20,333 the most dangerous woman in the universe? 199 00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:23,997 Can any of you fight as ferociously as Drax the Destroyer? 200 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,245 Or with the power of mighty Groot? 201 00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:31,043 Or as bravely as our courageous leader, Starlord? 202 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:33,285 I got it! Location of their cell. Come on! 203 00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,247 -(explodes) -Rocket! 204 00:10:36,792 --> 00:10:38,792 I think he's okay. It was just a stun blast. 205 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,665 She-Hulk: That's that! 206 00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:43,957 So, who have we got to go free again? 207 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,035 (bubbling) 208 00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:47,825 Lilandra: Guardians of the Galaxy. 209 00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:51,247 The Shi'ar and Kree people are forever in your debt. 210 00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:56,075 Starlord, Gamora, Drax, Groot, and Rocket. 211 00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,206 We honor your bravery. 212 00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,831 Thank you, Queen Lilandra. 213 00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,875 Hey, where is Rocket, anyway? 214 00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:08,325 Thanks to the Orb of Truth, 215 00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:12,035 our two empires have found a just and lasting peace. 216 00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:13,535 (rumbling) 217 00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:15,875 Lilandra: Starlord! Are we under attack? 218 00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,995 Starlord: I'm gonna say, "Yes." 219 00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:20,793 Protect the Empress! 220 00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:24,499 Gamora: What have you done to Rocket? 221 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,753 They're trying to sabotage the peace summit! 222 00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:29,254 Sabotage? No, we're here to rescue you! 223 00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,132 (Hulk grunts) 224 00:11:34,458 --> 00:11:37,998 (grunting) 225 00:11:40,959 --> 00:11:43,749 -I am Groot. -A-Bomb: A-Bomb. Nice to meet... 226 00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,924 Whoa! I heard you the first time, Woody! 227 00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:54,378 They don't know they're in The Collector's dream world. Don't hurt 'em! 228 00:11:54,458 --> 00:11:55,538 (grunting) 229 00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:59,875 No promises! If it's him or me, I choose me every time! 230 00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:02,079 Keep 'em busy. I'll find the holo-projector. 231 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:06,035 Not here! 232 00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,384 Where is that stupid thing? 233 00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:15,540 Hmm. Maybe there. Yeah. 234 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:23,003 I looked everywhere else. Gotta be up there. Worth a try. 235 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,130 I am Groot! 236 00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:28,133 Seriously, Bark-Face, is that all you can say? 237 00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,705 The Orb! What have you done? 238 00:12:41,792 --> 00:12:44,632 We just saved your sorry butts. You're welcome. 239 00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:48,418 Fools! You have doomed the galaxy to war! 240 00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:51,827 Ease down, hoss. We're all on the same side here. 241 00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:53,997 It's a trick. They're liars! 242 00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:55,503 Say that again. 243 00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:58,825 (WHISTLING) 244 00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:02,877 Hulks, meet the Guardians of the Galaxy! 245 00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:05,829 (scoffs) Says the talking raccoon. 246 00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:07,997 (chuckling) 247 00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:10,578 I am Groot! 248 00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,665 I know, buddy. I told 'em not to use the "R" word. 249 00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,287 Thank you for having my back. 250 00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,333 (drone whirring) 251 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:26,711 Now, robot enemies would attack us? 252 00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:30,044 Robots, alien Collector, hologram memory wipes... 253 00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:31,415 Long story. 254 00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:38,707 This vessel is immense, but I think I've finally got a fix on my ship. 255 00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:41,042 This Collector character better not have hurt her. 256 00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:42,745 It all seemed so real. 257 00:13:42,834 --> 00:13:44,924 Hmph. Finally getting some respect. 258 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,920 Should have been the first clue we were getting taken for a ride. 259 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,420 We know the feeling. 260 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:53,210 Seriously, you call yourselves "The Guardians of the Galaxy"? 261 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,291 What do you call your team? 262 00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:57,285 The Agents of... 263 00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:58,625 ...S.M.A.S.H. 264 00:13:58,709 --> 00:14:01,379 -Seriously? -Trash talk later. Let's move. 265 00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:05,920 (gate whirring) 266 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,210 Rocket: There she is. Home, sweet home. 267 00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:11,171 And with any luck, the real Orb of Peace is still on board! 268 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:13,750 No-one is going anywhere. 269 00:14:13,834 --> 00:14:17,294 Especially not with my new, ultra-rare accessory. 270 00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:20,423 That isn't some trophy, you grabby geek. 271 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,130 If we don't get that Orb to the peace summit, 272 00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:23,578 it'll mean galactic war! 273 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:26,037 Mmm, let me think about it... 274 00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:27,375 No. 275 00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:29,998 Good. Now we have an excuse. 276 00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:33,583 No. Let the Guardians take the Orb and go, 277 00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:35,575 and we'll stay. 278 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,285 Uh, do we gotta? 279 00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:38,745 She-Hulk: It's what we do, Red. 280 00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:46,791 Oh. A touching sacrifice. Truly heroic. 281 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:49,495 But now that I have both sets of heroes, 282 00:14:49,583 --> 00:14:51,463 I won't part with either! 283 00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:58,252 What's happening? Can't move! 284 00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:03,417 A-Bomb: Greetings, true believers, 285 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:07,130 and welcome to the Hulk-Out Holiday Smash-Travaganza! 286 00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:10,415 Red Hulk: Hey, Jones. Fire up the yule log already! 287 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,830 A-Bomb: Workin' on it, Red! 288 00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:18,378 Wait a minute. Does this all feel familiar? 289 00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:19,788 Like it happened before? 290 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:23,415 No. But you should try The Leader's guacamole. 291 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,790 Oh. Mmm. It's delish! 292 00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,251 Somethin' wrong, Greenie? 293 00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:34,131 No. It's perfect. Just perfect. 294 00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:40,540 (doorbell rings) 295 00:15:45,458 --> 00:15:47,748 Hey, guys! Merry Christmas! 296 00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:51,884 Who, who is "Mary"? What is "Christ-mas"? 297 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,920 It's a day of celebration! When families come together. 298 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,580 Families? Guess that leaves us out. 299 00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:00,999 Well, we were in the same boat, 300 00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:02,963 but now we have each other. 301 00:16:03,041 --> 00:16:04,331 Maybe you do, too. 302 00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,463 Guardians don't have a family. 303 00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:13,832 Figured they could spend it with mine. 304 00:16:13,917 --> 00:16:16,627 That's what the holidays are all about, right? 305 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,170 I am Groot. 306 00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,330 Uh, the tree is artificial. 307 00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,377 (all laugh) 308 00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:25,535 (whirring) 309 00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:27,205 (coughing) 310 00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:29,331 Hey, about time! 311 00:16:29,417 --> 00:16:31,537 You remember to bring the cranberry sauce? 312 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:32,825 Right here. 313 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,668 Ah. Heard this was the custom, 314 00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:37,460 so I brought a little token too. 315 00:16:37,542 --> 00:16:39,542 Hey. Let me get that for you, Starlord. 316 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,710 You know, Lilandra said the Orb brought peace. 317 00:16:44,792 --> 00:16:47,252 Because it could cut through lies, deceit and illusion. 318 00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:50,794 I can't remember the last time I was this happy. 319 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:52,790 I can. 320 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,130 And I'm gonna put a stop to it. 321 00:16:57,542 --> 00:16:59,712 It's not here. He moved it! 322 00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:02,462 Moved what? Are you okay? 323 00:17:02,542 --> 00:17:04,332 It's fake! This is all fake! 324 00:17:04,417 --> 00:17:05,747 (scoffs) It's 325 00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,924 true that Christmas is a little over-commercialized, 326 00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:09,421 but there's no need to be rude! 327 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,250 (Hulk scoffs) Hey. 328 00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,383 Who brought the raccoon to dinner? 329 00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:16,125 You know very well that I am not a raccoon. 330 00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:19,878 Aw, want some garbage, little raccoon? 331 00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:21,826 I am not a raccoon! 332 00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:29,833 Hulk: This is it. 333 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:35,210 (whirring) 334 00:17:36,792 --> 00:17:38,712 Man, we were in dreamland again. 335 00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:41,962 Now I remember everything! Humbug! 336 00:17:44,417 --> 00:17:47,037 I gave you the perfect life. 337 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,785 Why can't you just enjoy it? 338 00:17:49,875 --> 00:17:51,535 The real world's tough, 339 00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:54,075 but living in a fantasy isn't really living. 340 00:17:54,166 --> 00:17:56,576 Collector: Since your minds are so stubborn, 341 00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:59,497 I'll just have to erase them completely. 342 00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:03,004 But, at least you'll still look mint on the outside. 343 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,751 That's the real Orb! We've got to get it back! 344 00:18:06,834 --> 00:18:07,794 I hear you. 345 00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:11,125 I don't usually play with my acquisitions, 346 00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,668 but you leave me little choice. 347 00:18:16,917 --> 00:18:18,827 A-Bomb: He's not kidding! He's going to zap our minds! 348 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,916 Hulk: Don't let the brain beam hit you! 349 00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,285 She-Hulk: Uh, what about all the probes? 350 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:27,996 Keep 'em busy. I got an idea. 351 00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:29,205 Come on, Rocket. 352 00:18:33,959 --> 00:18:36,169 -Rocket: What's the plan, Blue? -A-Bomb: Trust me! 353 00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:38,002 (crackling) 354 00:18:39,041 --> 00:18:40,501 Nice move! 355 00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:43,793 A little something I picked up on Strontia 9. 356 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,292 Got that one from Wolverine. 357 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,960 I am Groot! 358 00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:55,455 You said it, Timbertoes. 359 00:18:56,375 --> 00:18:59,035 Hey, you big creep. You can collect this. 360 00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:02,290 (groans) 361 00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:06,004 Hulk: Got the Orb. Let's go! 362 00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,380 If I can't have you in my collection, 363 00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:13,168 I am taking you out of circulation! 364 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:14,830 -A-Bomb: Hey, klepto! -Huh? 365 00:19:17,959 --> 00:19:21,919 Fool! That won't work! This is my dream. 366 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,080 You need to wake up and see the truth, jerk! 367 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,535 (yelling) 368 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:40,290 I see my truth now. I was being greedy. 369 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:42,207 Wanted you all for myself. 370 00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:46,751 Yeah. You been naughty, Collector. Now it's time to be nice. 371 00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:49,384 Return these aliens to their home worlds. 372 00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:52,578 Before Santa-Hulk gives you a lump of coal. 373 00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:55,327 Yes. Yes, of course! 374 00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:59,825 -Here, Starlord. -Thanks, Santa-Hulk. 375 00:20:00,625 --> 00:20:01,745 (chuckles) 376 00:20:05,208 --> 00:20:08,328 Lilandra: The empires of the Shi'ar and Kree are grateful. 377 00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:10,077 Guardians and Hulks, 378 00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:13,996 your heroism has saved the lives of billions. 379 00:20:19,625 --> 00:20:21,995 (all cheer) 380 00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:27,289 Well, at least one of us got our Christmas miracle. 381 00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:30,205 That's right! It is Christmas! 382 00:20:30,291 --> 00:20:32,961 Hey, tonight you guys are celebrating with us. 383 00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:33,961 Hulk-style! 384 00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:38,083 A-Bomb: It's the Hulk holiday special, 385 00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:39,626 featuring our special guests, 386 00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:41,829 the Guardians of the Galaxy. 387 00:20:41,917 --> 00:20:45,037 Well, Vista Verde ain't the White House. 388 00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,745 (both grunting) 389 00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:48,924 -Or Hulk Tower. -But it's home. 390 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,670 Uh, yeah. Give me some more of this eggnog stuff. 391 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,170 (panting) 392 00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:59,415 Oh, you have no idea how long it's been since I've had a chili burger. 393 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,920 (cell phone chiming) 394 00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:03,629 A-Bomb: Oh-ho-ho! Check it out! 395 00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:05,579 I got an e-mail from Eliza Dushku! 396 00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:07,285 She's a fan of the show! 397 00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:10,285 Wait, wait, this is too good to be true. 398 00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:12,205 Are you sure we're not still on The Collector's ship? 399 00:21:12,709 --> 00:21:15,879 No, Rick. This is the real thing. 400 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:20,999 Life is never perfect, but having good friends can get you close. 401 00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:22,213 Hulk out. 402 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,130 -all: Cheers! -(laughing) 403 00:21:25,208 --> 00:21:27,878 From my family to yours, I fondly recite, 404 00:21:27,959 --> 00:21:31,789 merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! 405 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,377 (closing theme music) 30606

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