All language subtitles for iCarly s01e08 iLove Gwen.eng
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:04,841
Oh, here it comes.
Here it comes.
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:07,138
The comet, it's coming
right for us!
3
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,581
No!
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,982
That was the comet, not me.
5
00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,752
I'm gonna go find Pluto.
6
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,549
Now that it's no longer
a planet,
7
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:20,291
I bet it's all sad that
it's not relevant, like Kanye.
8
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:23,988
Come on, Freddie,
you got to try it.
9
00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:26,332
You can actually go to space
without having to talk
10
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,427
to Elon Musk.
11
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,399
I'm too sad for space.
12
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,298
Space is all I'm gonna have
this next week.
13
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,870
He always gets like this
14
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,737
when I stay with my mom
for a little while.
15
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:39,306
Which I get. I'm the brightest
star in his universe.
16
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,177
-Why's Gwen in town?
-[groans]
17
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,335
I thought she was in Zanzibar
for the next two months
18
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,984
marine biology-ing.
19
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:48,849
Underwater with her fellow
sea monsters.
20
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,949
Thanks for having
my back, Carly,
21
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,091
but it's been a year.
22
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,416
Gwen and I are
in a good place.
23
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:54,791
I'm over the divorce.
24
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,588
Really? It would take me
a lot longer to get over
25
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,531
a gorgeous marine biologist
that travels the world
26
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:04,368
and has eyes that just...
see you.
27
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,865
And I'm less over it.
28
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:10,297
Gwen's in town because
Millicent's drama club is
29
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,774
doing Shakespeare scenes;
she's Juliet.
30
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:15,043
-Oh, from what play?
-[knock on door]
31
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:18,083
Hark! Is there a little
thespian in here
32
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,449
who misses her mommy?
33
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,177
[MILLICENT]:
Me!
34
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,482
Oh, you said "thespian."
35
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,494
Oh, I love you so much,
36
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,056
but you smell
absolutely disgusting.
37
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:30,286
It's probably just
the stench of regret
38
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,061
over dumping Freddie.
39
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,590
Hello, Gwendolyn.
40
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,104
I see you're still trying
to make cargo pants happen.
41
00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:39,497
Look who's talking, crop-top.
42
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,400
What you're smelling is
43
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,542
a mélange of
sea turtle afterbirth,
44
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,638
24 hours of middle-seat flights,
45
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,510
and three layovers
just to get to you.
46
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,780
Aka the stink of love.
[chuckles]
47
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,780
Which I would have washed off,
but a pipe burst
48
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:57,522
in my apartment, so we need
to find a place to...
49
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,448
-Stay with me.
-Oh...
50
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:01,764
Freddie, are you sure?
51
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:05,525
Hmm? Oh, yeah,
you'd be there, too.
52
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,626
Of course. Millicent already
has her own room,
53
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,798
and we have an air mattress.
54
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,527
That I will apparently be
sleeping on.
55
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,972
Yeah, and you can
go take a shower.
56
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,437
-I love this for us.
-[chuckles]
57
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:19,107
But really, go shower now.
58
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,567
I'll walk you out.
59
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,814
You've been here
long enough anyway.
60
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,993
[both squealing]
61
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,545
It's so good to see you.
62
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,524
When can we stop pretending
to hate each other?
63
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,533
Never. I've been doing it
since the divorce.
64
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,855
Honestly, I kind of
love it, though.
65
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,230
It's like we're secret agents
that get blow-outs together.
66
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:47,001
-Choo! Choo! Ha.
-[both squealing]
67
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,340
* I know *
68
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,796
* You see *
69
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,343
* Somehow the world
will change for me *
70
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,210
* And be so wonderful *
71
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:59,179
* So wake up
the members of my nation *
72
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,180
* It's your time to be *
73
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:04,222
* There's no chance
unless you take one *
74
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:07,118
* And the time to see
the brighter side *
75
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:10,391
* Of every situation *
76
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,131
* Some things are meant to be *
77
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:15,756
* So give your best
and leave the rest to me. *
78
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,772
Harper, I didn't know
you liked pool.
79
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,237
I don't.
Disgusting little game.
80
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,606
I only learned so I could
ruin Spencer's life.
81
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,465
[phone chimes]
82
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,814
Oh, no!
83
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:32,149
What are you doing? I'm trying
to take a shot here!
84
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:35,076
I mean, what's the matter,
young child?
85
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:38,522
The person who was supposed
to design the costumes
86
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,359
for my Shakespeare performance
dropped out.
87
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:42,815
That's terrible.
88
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,033
Costumes are the most important
part of any show.
89
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,255
Of course you know that.
90
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,861
Clothes are your thing.
91
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:52,072
I mean, look at you right now.
Girl has taste.
92
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,765
If only you could
design the costumes.
93
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,467
Ooh.
94
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,999
Oh, come on, Harper.
95
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,974
Volunteer is the right thing
to do.
96
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,142
I believe the children are
our future.
97
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,111
Calm down, Whitney.
98
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:04,550
I'll do it.
99
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:07,845
Mm-hmm. Pull those strings,
my little puppet master.
100
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,646
You know what's really horrible?
101
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,021
Our set designer also
dropped out.
102
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,760
What?! The set is the most
important part of any show.
103
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,626
Of course you know that.
104
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,485
Set design requires
a true artist.
105
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,633
Like you.
And look at this place.
106
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,470
Boy has taste.
107
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,865
I hear the trap,
108
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,037
but I'm too flattered
not to fall in it.
109
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,496
I'll do it. Ugh!
110
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,274
Great. I'm gonna go upstairs
and call Mrs. Decker,
111
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,543
my drama teacher.
112
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,711
Oh, and by the way,
113
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,209
the volunteer who does
the most impressive work
114
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,112
always gets a prize.
115
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,583
[BOTH]:
Prize?
116
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:45,292
Wow, this place brings back
so many memories.
117
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:48,656
And so many rules.
118
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,186
Yep. No laughter
after 9:00 p.m.
119
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,430
Ah. Is it weird to say
that I miss
120
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,326
her anti-tick shampoo?
121
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,330
Aw...
122
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:00,572
It's the locket with
Millicent's baby pics
123
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,868
before she grew
into her giant head.
124
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:07,712
"Gwen and Freddie"?
125
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,538
Why is she wearing this?
126
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,913
And why am I talking to myself?
127
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:13,813
Hmm.
128
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,684
Lots of questions.
129
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,585
This is
a disgusting little game.
130
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,319
Mm-hmm, thank you.
131
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,334
Huge news! My costumes are about
to be even more incredible,
132
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,727
because the museum of velvet
133
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,728
is understandably
going out of business
134
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,170
and donating everything to me.
[laughs]
135
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:36,965
Huger news: uh, my brain is
donating an amazing idea to me.
136
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:40,370
The set should be full marble
and sandstone. Booyah!
137
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,414
Should someone check
on Carly and Gwen
138
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:44,280
to make sure
they haven't killed each other?
139
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,778
What am I saying?
Gwen would destroy her.
140
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,150
You letting her stay
at your place?
141
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,849
Very evolved.
142
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,821
I didn't expect that from you.
143
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,290
We're co-parenting,
144
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,658
so we've learned to be good
around each other.
145
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:59,487
But seeing her again
does make me miss...
146
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,533
Aw, it's too embarrassing.
147
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,799
Ooh. Dish.
148
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,797
Actually, it is a dish.
149
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:09,039
She used to make
these unbelievable enchiladas.
150
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,766
-Mmm.
-It was her specialty.
151
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,611
-Gwenchiladas.
-Oh...
152
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,476
-They're that good?
-Yes.
153
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,375
That is why I miss Gwen.
154
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,277
[sighs]:
It's hard to admit,
155
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,208
but sometimes
I lie awake at night
156
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,683
imagining what it would be like
to have that again.
157
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:26,753
Honestly, just talking about it
makes me crave it even more.
158
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,064
I know it's bad
for my heart, but...
159
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,686
I still want it.
160
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,431
[chuckles]
Sounds pretty cheesy.
161
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,186
[SPENCER]: Why don't you
just say how you feel
162
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:35,964
and ask her
to recreate the magic?
163
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,033
[FREDDIE]:
I've hinted at it, but she says
164
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,831
it's really complicated, and I
don't want to pressure her.
165
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,238
[door opens]
166
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:48,605
Hey. Where's my mom?
167
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,779
Wasting Freddie's water,
taking a shower.
168
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:54,818
I mean, the landlord pays
for the water, but still,
169
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,115
the Earth suffers.
170
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,346
Drop the act.
I know you're friends.
171
00:06:58,452 --> 00:06:59,752
Hey.
172
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,463
When you guys chat,
does she ever mention
173
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:05,625
any divorced person she's
romantically interested in?
174
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,096
You mean Freddie?
Why do you ask?
175
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,725
Because I just
overheard him talking
176
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,500
about how much he misses my mom.
177
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,229
So weird, right?
178
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,343
Yeah. Very weird.
179
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,610
You know something.
180
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:19,966
Nuh-uh.
181
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:21,841
My baby locket.
182
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,042
Don't open it.
183
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,414
Whoa.
184
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,153
Do you think they want
to get back together?
185
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,147
Aw, who cares?
I'm getting them back together
186
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,779
whether they want to or not.
187
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,154
We shouldn't interfere.
188
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,894
Unless we should.
189
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,390
No, we don't want
to manipulate them.
190
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,063
Unless we do.
191
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,366
-You make good points.
-Yep.
192
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,608
So, you're hooking up
two people
193
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,736
who already gave it a shot
and got divorced?
194
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:57,242
You're like
the worst dating app ever.
195
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,554
Worse than the one you tried
196
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,846
for people
who look like celebrities?
197
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,018
Doppelbanger?
198
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,175
Michael B. Jordan.
199
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,753
More like Michael B. Ugly.
200
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:08,762
But making Ethiopian food
to recreate their first date?
201
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,456
Why are you working so hard
on this parent trap?
202
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,559
It's not a parent trap.
It's a parent suggestion.
203
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,502
-Mm.
-Gwen's back at her apartment
204
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,867
dealing with the whole
burst pipe situation.
205
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:21,166
She thinks after that she's
gonna have a relaxing evening
206
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,438
with her daughter.
207
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:24,096
But I guess the joke's
on her, huh?
208
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,914
Exactly. 'Cause Millicent's
gonna come to our place
209
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,207
for a sleepover.
210
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,906
I just know how devastated
Freddie was When Gwen left.
211
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,911
If there's a chance
she wants him back,
212
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,583
the least I could do is put them
alone in a room together.
213
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:38,893
Alone? Aren't you forgetting
about someone?
214
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:42,417
[shudders]:
No. I remembered.
215
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,890
Who's ready for a slumber party?
216
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:49,103
And look, I had a puzzle made
of Freddie doing a puzzle.
217
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,726
[chuckles]
Nifty, huh?
218
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,731
I told myself
I have to finish tonight,
219
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:56,173
or something horrible
would happen to him.
220
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:59,839
Okay, I'm sleeping at
Michael B. Ugly's house tonight.
221
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:07,381
Wow, Mrs. B.,
that was a really fun game
222
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,480
of Befriend, Marry, Scold.
223
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,023
[laughs]:
Thank you.
224
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:14,388
You know, girls,
this may surprise you, but...
225
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:18,057
I have never been asked
to a sleepover.
226
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,327
What?!
227
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,228
Millicent, can you believe that?
228
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,501
I cannot.
229
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:29,639
It seems impossible that
that is possible.
230
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,767
Puzzle time!
I separated the pieces
231
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:37,242
into several piles:
freckles, dimples and skin tags.
232
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,905
I don't see any pieces
with facial stubble.
233
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,984
I know.
I had them photoshopped smooth.
234
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,549
Ah! Puzzle piece cut!
235
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,915
Not to worry--
I have miles of gauze.
236
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,033
BRB.
237
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,963
Good thing I brought
my mini first aid kit.
238
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,099
Ugh! This better be worth it.
239
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,814
I was gonna read a book tonight.
240
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,136
Magazine.
241
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,480
On your phone.
242
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,835
Probably the audio version.
243
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,114
It's still words.
244
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,553
Trust me, we got this.
245
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,445
Oh, my God. Do you have a date?
246
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,463
Is she here right now?
247
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,785
Yup. Apparently, she's you.
248
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,432
What?
249
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,234
Oh.
250
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,598
"Dear parental units,
251
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,597
"wanted to give you
some alone time
252
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,599
"to reminisce
about the good old days.
253
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,601
"Enjoy dinner
in each other's company.
254
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:38,213
-Love, your little miracle."
-Mm.
255
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,665
"Alone time"?
256
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,273
Why would she even...
257
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,784
Ethiopian food.
258
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,706
She's recreating our first date.
259
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:48,252
Not exactly. You don't have
that stupid soul patch.
260
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,378
And you got rid
of that terrible eyebrow ring.
261
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,393
Not by choice. I was on a dive,
and a barracuda bit it off.
262
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,816
-Nah, yeah, it was super cute.
-Mm-hmm.
263
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:56,823
[chuckles]
264
00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:59,164
So, she's trying to set us up.
265
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,389
This is awkward.
266
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,403
[sighs]
Actually, it's perfect.
267
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:06,726
There's something
I've been meaning to tell you.
268
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,241
[exhales]
269
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,309
[voice squeaks]:
Okay, shoot.
270
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,777
I'll say this,
271
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,606
your dad has lovely pores.
272
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,152
Why are we doing this puzzle
when we could be spying
273
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,578
on my parents?
274
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,282
I know. It's killing me.
275
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,324
Dare we take a sneak peek?
276
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,459
Oh, we dare.
277
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,086
Oh, good, you're already here.
278
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,261
I need to measure
the circumference of your head.
279
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,100
It's a very normal size.
280
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,555
-Hmm, that's not what
this tape measurer says. -Hey.
281
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:40,104
I'm making hats
for everyone in the play.
282
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,800
Or you can go ahead
and tell them to give me
283
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,972
the prize now, that's cool.
284
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,471
Thanks, okay.
285
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,072
-Come on.
-Aah!
286
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,014
-What...?
-Life-changing announcement!
287
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,579
That prize is mine.
288
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,877
The sandstone I was gonna use
is too heavy,
289
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:55,820
so I'm switching
to a lighter medium.
290
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,786
Toast.
291
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,145
It looks like stones,
but it's light and easy to move.
292
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,823
Ring, ring, ring! Uh, hello?
293
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,462
Creativity Monthly? Why, yes,
I will be on your cover!
294
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,757
Click!
295
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,730
"Toast"? You can't build
a set out of toast.
296
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,430
Not the time to ask for details
from the weirdos.
297
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,042
Is what I would say
on opposite day.
298
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,465
Toast is great.
299
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,209
Go toast! Bye.
300
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,465
Hey, where are you two going?
301
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,712
It's time to "puzz" it up,
302
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,408
and I'm down a finger!
303
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,709
Spencer will help you.
304
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,652
-(mouths)
-He's the best at puzzles.
305
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,146
Isn't that right, Harper?
306
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,818
He's the best at nothing.
307
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,616
Yeah, I already got
one of Freddie's weird eyes.
308
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,722
I found his cowlick!
I found his cowlick!
309
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,825
After Millicent's father
passed away,
310
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:43,157
I never thought I'd meet someone
who loved her as much as me.
311
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,873
Mmm, "as much as I do."
312
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,544
I see why you divorced me.
313
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,665
Well... now it's time
314
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,640
for me to divorce somebody else.
315
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,669
Wait, that came out weird.
316
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,044
Uh... I'm seeing someone.
317
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,514
No!
318
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,350
I'm just kidding.
319
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,478
[both laugh]
320
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,493
Honestly, I'm-I'm happy for you.
321
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:07,816
Thanks.
322
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,793
[whispers] It's working.
323
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,903
We both knew this was
bound to happen.
324
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,055
We knew, too, we knew, too.
325
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,234
-The only part I'm worried
about is Millicent. -Mm.
326
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,202
Maybe this is
just too much for her.
327
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,101
I wish I had a way to know
how she's gonna react.
328
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,014
Well, should we go talk
to her right now?
329
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:30,314
No, I need to gauge her moods
over the next week.
330
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,850
Maybe even over the next year.
331
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,081
Aw, you're such a planner.
332
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,553
This is why
I fell in love with you.
333
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,351
Methinks I can speed
this process along.
334
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:44,024
I must away.
335
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,703
* *
336
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,874
Hey, guys.
337
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,609
Harper, I thought
you'd be wearing a costume.
338
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,535
I know you love
a Ren fair wench moment.
339
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,951
Hmm. Mrs. Decker said it would
"steal focus from the children."
340
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,205
Because my costumes are
too good.
341
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,984
Really? She didn't say anything
about my sets.
342
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,482
-Aw.
-'Cause she was speechless!
343
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,054
Okay, I'm gonna go find
our little star.
344
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,564
-Who?
-Who?
345
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,085
Millicent.
346
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,960
The entire reason
we're all here.
347
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:22,429
-Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, that's why I'm here.
348
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,228
[laughs]
349
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,203
Oh, program, Mrs. Benson?
350
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,471
Inside is a QR code
you can scan with your phone
351
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:33,070
to vote for which aspect
of the show you like the best--
352
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,343
the sets or the costumes!
353
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,082
But why wait till after the show
to fill it out?
354
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,307
Just turn down
your phone's brightness
355
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,851
and do it
during the boring parts.
356
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:42,677
My flip phone doesn't have
brightness or a camera.
357
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:46,152
Now hand me my program,
I like to plan my pee breaks.
358
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,761
Mr. Spencer, we have
a problem with the set.
359
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:54,328
Apparently it's...
[whispers]: falling apart.
360
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,927
-[exclaims] -I'm not surprised
your sets are crummy.
361
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,430
'Cause they're toast. [laughs]
362
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,002
Oh, are you playing
a court jester?
363
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,372
'Cause this is serious!
364
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,067
Don't worry. I'll fix it.
365
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,843
I'm gonna need
some peanut butter, stat!
366
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,411
To stick the toast together?
367
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,679
I was just hungry,
but that's a great idea!
368
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,578
Move it!
369
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,975
Ah, there you are.
370
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,624
I can't believe you're gonna do
a grand romantic gesture
371
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,049
after your scene.
372
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,364
Do you want to run through
what you're gonna say?
373
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,315
Oh, sure,
I'll say something like,
374
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,564
"Thank you
for that thunderous applause.
375
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,099
A standing O?
That's unexpected."
376
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,796
Okay, rein it in, Meryl.
377
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,627
Get to the part
about your parents.
378
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,102
Oh, right.
379
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:37,441
"This scene was dedicated
to two star-crossed lovers.
380
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,507
"My loving parents
Freddie and Gwen.
381
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:43,176
"You've managed to do what
Romeo and Juliet never could.
382
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,646
I'm so happy you two are getting
back together."
383
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:49,851
Wow.
384
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,779
That is really effective.
385
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,654
You know what,
bring it in, little sis.
386
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,694
Don't push it.
387
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,428
-So I was thinking.
-Hmm?
388
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,030
Sea turtles never worry about
telling their kids anything.
389
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,673
They just bury their eggs in
the sand and run away forever.
390
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,338
You think that could work
in this situation?
391
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,938
-Probably.
-Okay.
392
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,081
Hey, Freddie. Gwen.
393
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,836
What are you guys talking about?
394
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:20,784
We're trying to figure out how
to have a talk with Millicent.
395
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,380
Oh, really?
396
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,582
What's the topic
of conversation?
397
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,624
Well, it's
kind of personal, but...
398
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,989
I already know what it is.
Are you proud of me?
399
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,559
I'm proud of me.
400
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,657
Wait, you know about Ernie?
401
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,589
Wait, what?
402
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,004
Who's Ernie?
403
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,726
He's Gwen's new boyfriend.
404
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,670
And don't worry about it,
Carly, I'm fine.
405
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,296
She told me
about him over dinner.
406
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,271
You have a boyfriend
and you didn't tell me?
407
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,470
But we're friends.
408
00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:46,411
Whoa! Wait, hold up.
409
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,176
You guys are friends?
410
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,335
Since when?
411
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,482
Since always.
412
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,152
I just didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
413
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,017
Why would I be hurt?
414
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,516
Remember a few months ago
415
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,347
when I told you I was visiting
my dad in Italy?
416
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,992
-Yeah.
-Zanzibar.
417
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,518
(gasps)
418
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,392
Did she let you swim
with the turtles?
419
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,631
Ate right out of my hand.
420
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,256
Oh!
421
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,801
Yeah, okay... this hurts.
422
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,397
Wait, if you're dating
some guy named Ernie,
423
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,570
then why was Freddie's picture
in your locket?
424
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:18,168
It's a present for Millicent
to help break the news.
425
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,011
I put pictures
of Freddie and me in it,
426
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,737
so she'd always have both of us
close to her heart.
427
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:25,752
Oh, my God, Millicent!
I-I got to go.
428
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,505
Excuse me. Sorry!
429
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:30,384
-Excuse me.
-[music playing]
430
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:35,192
Hear ye, hear ye and welcome.
431
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,488
Our first scene is
in fair Verona.
432
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,171
If your child has
a peanut allergy,
433
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,741
please avoid this area
434
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:56,579
or there will be much ado
about anaphylactic shock.
435
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,876
And now Romeo and Juliet.
436
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,009
[applause]
437
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,751
O Romeo!
438
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,722
Romeo!
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
439
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:12,861
Deny thy father
and refuse thy name.
440
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,797
What's in a name?
441
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,639
That which we call a rose
by any other name
442
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,765
would smell as sweet...
443
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,041
Psst!
444
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,339
Don't do it!
445
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,811
At the end!
446
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,449
Romeo, doff thy name,
447
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,847
and for that name
which is no part of thee,
448
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,289
take all myself.
449
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,092
Oh, no. This can't be good.
450
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,595
Shh!
451
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,856
My granddaughter is acting.
452
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,399
Hear ye, hear ye!
453
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:58,272
I cometh from the future.
454
00:18:58,371 --> 00:18:59,941
That is
455
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:04,109
why forth I hath
this strange outfit.
456
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,281
Uh-huh. Thou art not
457
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,519
the man I was expecting.
458
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:11,915
I bring news, my fairest Juliet.
459
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,388
You know that plan-eth
460
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,957
thou haveth
when thy scene is doneth?
461
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,957
Don't do it... eth.
462
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:23,159
[MILLICENT]: Just tell me
what news thou hast for me,
463
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,573
annoying traveler!
464
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:29,035
Your mom and Freddie aren't
getting back together.
465
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,435
-Wha...?
-What?
466
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,372
Ooh!
467
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,812
Uh, five-second rule.
468
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,308
Oh, okay, we're going
469
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,954
to take a short intermission.
470
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,250
[whispers]: Close the curtains,
close the curtains.
471
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,463
[scattered applause]
472
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,772
I can't believe nobody voted
in our QR poll.
473
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,095
Yeah.
474
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,569
'Cause the QR code you made
is just a link
475
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,168
to the IHOP menu!
476
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,970
I want that prize!
477
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,641
I'm not supposed to say
anything, but Millicent told me
478
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:10,680
it's a companion falcon
for my main man Jericho.
479
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,247
What?! She told me it was
480
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,505
the Alexander McQueen
armadillo boots Lady Gaga wore
481
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:17,154
in her groundbreaking
music video "Bad Romance."
482
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,250
Just spitballing here,
but you don't think Millicent
483
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,522
just made up the prize,
knowing how competitive we get,
484
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,921
so that we'd drop everything
and do stuff
485
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,892
for her children's drama club,
do you?
486
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,331
-No.
-Nah.
487
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,856
-Actually, that totally
checks out. -Yeah.
488
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:30,231
Mr. Spencer,
489
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,200
Ms. Harper, the principal
would like to see you.
490
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:34,669
-Oh, no, we're in trouble.
-You're in trouble.
491
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,667
-I bet you I'm gonna get
those boots! -No, no, no.
492
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:42,881
I love it. Thank you.
493
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:46,453
You sure you're not upset that
we're not getting back together?
494
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,616
A little. I mean...
495
00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:50,245
who wouldn't want
their family back together?
496
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,990
See, that's the thing--
we may not live together,
497
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,615
but we're still a family
and we're always gonna be.
498
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,386
I do like having
two Christmases and birthdays.
499
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:00,662
Wait.
500
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,460
If both of you marry
other people,
501
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,132
then get divorced again,
would that mean
502
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,670
that I get four Christmases
and birthdays?
503
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,166
(Freddie and Gwen laugh)
504
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,797
Is there a reality show
that can speed this up?
505
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:13,538
Looks like all
of Millicent's scheming
506
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,140
that I had very little to do
with was worth it.
507
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:19,246
Carly, there you are.
508
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,846
I had so much fun
at our sleepover
509
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,717
that I don't think
I can sleep tonight,
510
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:25,215
not without another long hang.
511
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:27,348
Just us chicas.
512
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,294
I'll be by later
with my first aid kit
513
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,459
and some homemade dental floss.
514
00:21:31,558 --> 00:21:33,458
See you then.
515
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,971
-* We're winners *
-* Winners *
516
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:43,267
-[SPENCER]: * Winners. *
-What's with the blue ribbons?
517
00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:44,670
Oh, it's a participation ribbon.
518
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,041
Everybody gets one.
519
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,738
Including me.
520
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,380
That's it? That's the prize?
521
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,576
It's a public school.
There's no budget for prizes.
522
00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:53,108
I'm shocked
there was even a play.
523
00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:55,522
These ribbons weren't
the only prize, Fredd-o.
524
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,545
-Mm-hmm.
-I'm not sure how it happened,
525
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,090
but Harper and I
have been appointed
526
00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:00,445
co-chairs of the PTA.
527
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:02,363
Yeah!
528
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:04,055
The Parent Teacher Association?
529
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,216
-Yeah!
-Yep!
530
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,794
For parents and teachers.
531
00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:07,833
-[grunts]
-Right?
532
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:09,757
Of which you are neither.
533
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:12,202
-You got it! [laughs]
-[grunts]
534
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:13,768
Amazing!
535
00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:15,996
The school was desperate.
No one else volunteered.
536
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:20,139
Ms. Carly? The principal would
like to see you next.
537
00:22:20,239 --> 00:22:22,339
Oh, of course, Olive.
538
00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:24,412
Did I get
a cool blue ribbon, too?
539
00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:26,411
No. You ruined the play.
540
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:28,583
You're in big trouble,
young lady.
541
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:33,521
[all oohing]
542
00:22:33,571 --> 00:22:38,121
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38830