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1
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,320
So, it is decided.
2
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:15,440
You will return to the
occupied chamber
3
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,960
and your former employment with
Cuddly Dick,
4
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,960
and you will find out anything you
can about the late folk.
5
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,760
Missing...
6
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,200
..of Yonderland. And we will be
listening in...
7
00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:28,280
-using this.
-Ah.
8
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,080
Yes, now, just think of that ear
like an ear.
9
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,680
Hoo-ha!
FEEDBACK SCREECHES
10
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,160
Two, three! Seems OK.
11
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,840
Now, they mustn't suspect that
you're working for anyone else, OK?
12
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,680
You really need to earn their trust.
13
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,520
Make people believe that you will
do anything for Dick.
14
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,640
OK, yeah, I'll be your spy.
15
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:48,000
But let's talk terms
and conditioners.
16
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,760
I want to be one of you guys.
17
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,560
-An elder.
-Whoa!
18
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,120
THEY LAUGH
19
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:54,280
Steady on, sunbeam.
20
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,120
It's not just anyone who gets to
-be an elder.
-Yes!
21
00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:01,400
Only the most fiercely intelligent
-of the realm are selected.
-Oh, no!
22
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,840
I think I got too close to the
fire again.
23
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,760
THEY SIGH
Well... Take it or leave it.
24
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,800
Well, how about we make you chief...
25
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,880
-I'll take it.
-No, I wasn't saying...
26
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,760
Pap chat, pap pap. Pap pap.
27
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,880
You're really trusting him?
28
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,080
Well, we have to.
29
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,440
He's on our side, now.
30
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,560
Come on, he's on his side.
31
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,480
He's only interested in personal
-gain.
-Ah!
32
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,480
My Life With The Chosen One?
That is totally different!
33
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,480
Everything I wrote in that
book is the truth,
34
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:33,680
or a version of the truth.
35
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,440
And if anything, it is a travesty
36
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,080
that I am now in massive debt,
37
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,440
and they'll never get to hear my
side of the story.
38
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,720
Oh, give it a rest.
It's not as if...
39
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,440
Why are there two of me?
40
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,360
THEY SCREAM
41
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,800
Far, far ago, the ancients wrote
upon the scrolls
42
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,000
that dark forces will sweep
our realm
43
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,680
until only Yonderland remained.
44
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,840
But they telled also of a saviour,
45
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,920
come from a distant world,
46
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,200
to save us from the shadows.
47
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,560
Ooh, just got deja vu.
48
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,840
Well, how do we fix it?
49
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,000
Well, I don't know, it's never
happened before.
50
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,200
Maybe if we go back through.
Good idea.
51
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,520
-Did it work?
-No!
52
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,600
What's going on?
53
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,320
You tell us, we've swapped bodies.
54
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,560
HE LAUGHS
55
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,720
-What did you do?Me?
-Yes!
56
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,320
Did you open a freaky fortune
cookie or
57
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,520
put a coin in a haunted arcade
machine?
58
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,120
I don't know what those things are.
59
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,320
Well, you must have done something.
60
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,080
-Let's...try again?
-Yeah.
61
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,360
Oh, no! This is a nightmare!
62
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,400
Look, I'm sure we'll sort it out
sooner or later.
63
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,040
Sooner or later? Sooner, please!
64
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,960
Why? You haven't got anything on,
-have you?
-Oh!
65
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,760
-The open house.
-Can't they do that
without you?
66
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,800
Oh, yeah - and end up selling the
house...?We can't let that happen.
67
00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,120
Exactly. OK, OK, let's think
about this.
68
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,440
There must be some way to reverse
this, which we will work out.
69
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,040
In the meantime, people will be
arriving in a few minutes.
70
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,520
We can still put them off. At least
Pete's at work.
71
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,840
DOOR OPENS
Debs? Is that you?
72
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,360
THEY GASP
73
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,640
Did you have the same idea?
74
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,160
I know the estate agent told us not
to be here,
75
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,360
but Sam at work tells me
76
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,320
that people are more likely to buy
77
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,320
if they can smell coffee and cake.
78
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,480
Great!
79
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,080
And I just thought we could be here
to answer any questions
80
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,720
they may have about the
neighbourhood and schools.
81
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,320
Exactly!
82
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,560
Ah, getting some good ideas for the
-new place, yeah?
-Yes.
83
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,560
Right, I'm going to go get changed.
84
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,000
Oh, what do you think's more
friendly? Jumper or shirt?
85
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,120
Jumper...?
86
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,480
Cool.
87
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,400
-I need a drink.
-Don't you dare!
We have to fix this.
88
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,680
I'll go and see what's going...
You're not leaving me!
89
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,120
Well, I have to be here,
that means you have to stay!
90
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,640
-Oh, no.
-Look, it'll be fine.
You know how time works over there.
91
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,320
I'll just be a few minutes. Just
wait here.
92
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,200
And don't speak to Peter.
93
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,960
But don't let him sell the house.
94
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,040
But I should be back in a
few secs.
95
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,040
Great.
96
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,400
DOORBELL RINGS
97
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,760
HE GASPS
98
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,720
Clean it up!
99
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,080
HE LAUGHS
100
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,000
It's just a few insignificant
villages, my lord.
101
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,000
But they are calling her the
chosen one again.
102
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,520
Persistent little creature,
isn't she?
103
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,280
Do you think someone should
squash her?
104
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:45,840
Hmm? Hmm? I...
105
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,680
DOOR SWINGS OPEN
106
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,280
Look what the cat dragged in.
107
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,600
Oh, and Negatus has returned.
108
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,320
You've got a nerve coming back here.
A nerve and no brain!
109
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,200
Now, now, let's hear what he's got
to say, shall we?
110
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,680
My Lord, I have learned my lesson,
111
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,760
paid my dues!
112
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,880
And I stand here before you, helmet
in hand,
113
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:22,640
to beg you forgiveness and pledge to
you my undying loyalty.
114
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,840
-That's very commendable.
-Hmm.
115
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:28,880
HE COUGHS
116
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,280
I was...proud.
117
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,600
And...?
118
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,200
And I'll take the bins out,
119
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,600
pair all the socks up.
120
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,400
I'm willing to start at the bottom.
121
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,800
Good!
122
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,800
Because the bottom was very much
what I had in mind.
123
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,760
TOILET FLUSHES
Oh, that's better.
124
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,760
Why can't they do it for themselves?
125
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,280
Next.
126
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,200
THEY LAUGH
127
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,080
-Laugh it up.
-Have you been to the
-toilet yet?
-Oh!
128
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,920
THEY LAUGH
129
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,440
No, I haven't.
130
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,640
I'm bursting to, actually,
131
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,680
but I refuse to accept that I'm
trapped in this body.
132
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,320
Now, can we start talking about how
to fix this, please?
133
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:22,680
The magic of the portal is mystical
and mysterious.
134
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,640
-So, you don't know?
-No.
135
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,680
I don't see the problem.
136
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,520
I mean, this very much cuts out the
middleman, doesn't it?
137
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,440
So, leave it like it is?
138
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,120
-No!
-Why not?
139
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,040
Because I'm married, for one thing.
140
00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,560
And I'm not leaving an elf to be the
mother of my children
141
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,960
and the wife of my husband.
142
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,160
He could do worse.
143
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,200
-What?ALL:
-What?
144
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,400
Pap, pap, pap. It's clearly an
anomaly with the stick!
145
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,200
How are you feeling, Nick?
Utterly miserable.
146
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,040
Seems perfectly fine to me.
-CHIEF ELDER:
-Quite normal.
147
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,440
Oh, what a thorough diagnosis,
thank you.
148
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,400
Now, there's only one thing for it.
149
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,120
-What?
-We must give you a new name.
150
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,920
I vote for Delph.
151
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,760
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER
152
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,400
You're just going to give up?
153
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,240
You can't leave me like this!
154
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:11,840
Well, what do you want us to do,
dear Belph?
155
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,320
We're not scientists.
156
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,000
Scientists?
157
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,600
Hang on.
158
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,560
Ah. Hello.
159
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,640
-Where's the woman?
-In here.
160
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,560
Come on, Debbie, where are you?
161
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,280
Don't let me down, girl.
162
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,040
Right. They're here.
163
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,000
A lot of interest in this place
because, well,
164
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,080
it ticks a lot of boxes.
165
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,440
Hi. I didn't realise you were
going to be in.
166
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,320
No, well, we decided that we could
answer any questions.
167
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:46,840
All right.
168
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,360
Um, well...
169
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,120
That's... Yeah. Erm. OK,
so, shall we...?
170
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,160
Yeah, yeah, great.
171
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,440
Well, why don't we start
upstairs with you two.
172
00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,160
Then, Debbie, if you show these guys
around down here. Yeah?
173
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,560
Ah, well, I thought I would just...
174
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,160
Yeah, just come through and I'll...
175
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,200
I'm not sure it takes four people to
look at a hallway.
176
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,960
You better follow me, then.
177
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:16,720
Since Imperatrix hoodwinked me into
that abominable robot project,
178
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,160
I've dedicated my life solely to
inventions for the
179
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,920
advancement of good.
180
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,440
-So, what have you made?
-The fun gun!
181
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,320
Arrgh! Ho-ha!
182
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,360
Ha-ha! Oh, yeah.
183
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,320
It puts the subject in a state of
helpless physical ecstasy for
184
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,720
up to ten seconds!
185
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,160
Ohhhh...
186
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,000
-Very useful.
-You want a go?
187
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,000
No. Look, this is urgent.
188
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,520
I think Nick might be the problem,
189
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,960
so I'd rather you didn't shoot
him with lasers.
190
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,480
-Oh, please.
-OK, then, Nick.
191
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,440
Let's have a look at you.
192
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,760
Ah, well, there's nothing there.
193
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,360
Oh, hang on. That's interesting.
194
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,960
-What can you see?
-A little hole.
Well, yeah.
195
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,400
How else do you think I...
196
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,840
Oh, not that!
197
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,480
A wormhole!
198
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,920
Oh, like a tunnel in the
time-space continuum?
199
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:11,240
No. Like a worm has made
a hole in the stick.
200
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:14,080
-Ah.
-And I know exactly what kind.
201
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,800
Ah, here we are. A two-headed
timber grub.
202
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,360
It's a curious creature.
203
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,840
If the energy of the portal passed
through its body,
204
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,800
it would almost certainly cause an
anomaly in your molecular transfer.
205
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,680
Great, so how do we swap back.
206
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,080
You need to recreate the exact
conditions of the swap.
207
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,800
OK. And how do we do that?
208
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,200
Easy!
209
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,760
-You need to find the worm.
-Oh.
210
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,600
ODD BURBLING NOISE
211
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,200
Psst!
212
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,000
Hey. Here!
213
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,040
I thought you were back in prison.
214
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,600
Let's just say we had to come to an
arrangement with one of the guards.
215
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,920
I don't want to talk about it!
216
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,120
-We've come to help, my Lord.
-Shhh!
217
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,680
I'm on a top-secret mission,
218
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,800
and I don't need you guys
blowing my cover off.
219
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,800
DOOR OPENS
220
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,320
Just saw His Lordship coming out of
the forbidden room.
221
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,440
I wonder what he's hiding in
-there.
-Hmmm.
222
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,600
Must be important.
Nobody's allowed in but him.
223
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,080
You'd love to have a peek,
wouldn't you?
224
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,840
What do you think His Eminence would
say about your curiousity?
225
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,200
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
226
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,840
Better be careful what you say...
227
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,160
Or you may not have
a tongue to say it.
228
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,360
Or a head to think it.
229
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,880
Or some... Yes, I understand.
230
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,720
-I'm sorry.
-Good.
231
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,600
-Breath fresh, sir?
-Get off it.
232
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,520
Lollipop?
233
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,640
Oohhhh. Did you hear that?
234
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,240
There's a secret room,
235
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,720
but they'll kill me if they catch
me going in there.
236
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,200
Must be another way.
237
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,000
Hmm.
238
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,680
Hello? Hello, can you hear me?
239
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,720
How do I even know this is working?
240
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,840
I mean, what's the point of
me talking to you
241
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,280
if you can't talk back?
242
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:54,480
Ohh. I'm not going snooping around,
243
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,120
it's too risky.
244
00:11:56,160 --> 00:12:00,200
Not putting my neck on the...
245
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,240
-Demons! ALL:
-Yeah?
246
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:05,400
I might have a little job for
you, after all.
247
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,880
Mmm. This is nice. So much
storage space.
248
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,200
No, yeah, definitely.
249
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,680
You know, I have to say,
250
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,880
I've got such a good feeling about
this place.
251
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,480
No, yeah, definitely.
I just think...
252
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,280
So, did he tell you?
253
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,360
-Sorry?
-Tell us what?
254
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,000
Oh, that is bad.
255
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,520
He was meant to tell you
before you came.
256
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,120
Because a lot of people...
257
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,960
are funny about...
258
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,400
murders.
259
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:39,120
-Murders?
-Yes, I said murders.
260
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,560
They were buried right where
we stand.
261
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,080
Who?
262
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,880
Three men and a little lady.
263
00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:00,120
Have they gone? What, they didn't
want to see upstairs?
264
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,320
Strange. Well, did they
say anything?
265
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,240
Peter? Is there any way we could
have a look at the loft space?
266
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,680
Yes, of course.
267
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,160
Are you sure this is the spot?
268
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,200
Yes, it was definitely here.
269
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,440
Well, I can't find any worm.
270
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,080
Well, it must have wriggled off.
271
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,400
Or been eaten by a bird.
-Not helpful.
-You're welcome.
272
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,600
Think positive.
273
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,640
If we search a square cillimetre
per minute,
274
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,640
then I estimate that we'll find it
275
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,320
in a matter of months!
276
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,520
Oh, great!
277
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:36,000
I'm going to spend the rest of my
life in this weird little body.
278
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,960
And God knows what's going
on in my house!
279
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,800
Hang on. What if the worm didn't
wiggle out here?
280
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,000
What if it fell out the...
281
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,080
-Haauuh!
-Arrgh!
282
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,840
Oh! Oh, look, a shoe!
283
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,720
Oh, no, that's mine, sorry.
284
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,960
Ha-ha! I'm wearing it! False alarm!
285
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,600
OH, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!
286
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,440
Great news, O, baddest of habits.
287
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,240
We've found the forbidden room.
288
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,760
We could see in through the vent.
Yes!
289
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,800
I knew you wouldn't let me down.
What did you see?
290
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,960
Oh, the place was crawling with
Overlords.
291
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,000
-Coming and going.
-How many?
292
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,880
Never more than two at a time.
293
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,720
Facing the wall,
like they were hiding something.
294
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,200
Or locking themselves in these
tiny rooms.
295
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,720
This is great!
296
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,560
And there was this man with a
bad perm and a weird beard.
297
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,320
And the smell of bleach.
298
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:27,880
Whoa, who, whoa.
299
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:32,400
Is it possible you've just spent
the last three hours
300
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:36,080
looking into this room
through that vent?
301
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,520
ALL: Oh, yeah!
302
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,840
You cretins! Now go
and find me the real secret room.
303
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,840
I think that was undercooked!
304
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,720
Second thought,
305
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,440
job swap.
306
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,320
You're a hard little man to find.
307
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,280
Even your pretty wives
don't know where you are.
308
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,360
Wives?
309
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:15,680
Not Melanie, Nicole or Natalie
or Shaznay.
310
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,040
We work for your friends
at Crapple Publishing.
311
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,040
And guess what.
312
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,280
They want their money back.
313
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,960
Isn't that crazy, huh?
314
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,160
Huh?! So here's what's going
to happen.
315
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,040
I'm going to take this here gag off
your face
316
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,080
and you're going to tell us where
the money is.
317
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,000
I don't know what money
you're talking about.
318
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,320
Amnesia.
319
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,600
That's not funny, Mikey.
It's a serious condition.
320
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:45,200
-I'm sorry.
-My mother had it when she
-fell off a donkey.
-OK.
321
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,560
Look, I haven't lost my memory.
I'm not even Elf.
322
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,200
I know this sounds ridiculous but we
are trapped in each other's bodies.
323
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,600
I'm Debbie Maddox, the chosen one.
324
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,480
Sure, you're the chosen one!
325
00:15:56,520 --> 00:16:00,360
And I'm Princess Gwendolyn
of the cloud people.
326
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,640
Come on, Mikey, that's funny.
327
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:06,520
Well, don't laugh now, it's
-patronising.
-I'm sorry, OK?
328
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,000
I just...
329
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,600
Come on, Debbie...
330
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,640
I really like the place, I think
they're going to make an offer.
331
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,760
That's good news, isn't it?
332
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:25,320
Are you sure you didn't
say something to put
that other couple off?
333
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,520
I thought you'd come round
to the idea.
334
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,560
Debbie.
335
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,920
What's going on?
336
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,480
Debbie, don't just stand there.
337
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,280
Just talk to me!
338
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,040
Wow.
339
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,880
Hold that thought.
340
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,000
Now I'm going to ask you
one last time.
341
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:01,520
Where's da money?
342
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,160
I told you, I don't know.
343
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,160
Show him your toys, Mikey.
344
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,080
SQUEAKING
345
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:12,360
-Other side, Mikey.
-Oh.
346
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,080
Few minutes with Mikey here
ought to listen your tongue.
347
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,280
No!
348
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,920
No, please!
349
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,880
Please!
350
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,800
What the...?
351
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,480
OK, it can be useful.
How did you find me?
352
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,640
Crackle pods. Based on lithium smell
senses.
353
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,200
Your halitosis guided me here.
354
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,680
Elf's.
355
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,800
Same difference.
356
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,080
Hurry! It's wearing off!
357
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,080
Why, you dirty...
358
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,360
WHISTLING
359
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,360
What do you think you're doing?
360
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,680
I...
361
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,200
-This is a direct betrayal.
-Shh!
362
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,480
Guards!
363
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,160
What's this ear?
364
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,640
FEEDBACK
365
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,400
We've lost Negatus.
366
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,240
You're wearing a wire.
367
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,400
Gentleman, what seems to be
the trouble?
368
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,000
He was trying to look into your
secret room, your brilliance.
369
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,800
-I had to kill him.
-But I'm not dead.
370
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,600
Look, he was wearing a wire.
371
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,600
No, no, no, that's yours.
372
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,440
He was lying.
373
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:25,800
Are you telling me that my most
trusted general was a traitor?
374
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,520
Yes.
375
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:35,120
Well, thank you, Negatus.
376
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,240
It looks like you arrived
just in time, doesn't it?
377
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,280
Clean this up.
378
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,760
No, no, not you.
379
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:46,280
You've already proved that you're
beyond that kind of menial chore.
380
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,840
We should talk about promotion,
shouldn't we?
381
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,440
But seriously,
it is a really nice road.
382
00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,400
It's a nice road. It's also a nice
house and we haven't seen it all yet
383
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,400
so if you give me five seconds...
384
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,960
Where have you been?
385
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,680
It's torture in here.
You want to talk about torture?
386
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,600
I've just narrowly escaped having
a tooth extraction
387
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,480
from a couple of debt collectors.
388
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,920
Well, I've just had your husband's
tongue in my mouth
389
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,160
and I do not want to stick around
for the sequel.
390
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,560
Have you found a way to fix this?
It's a wormhole.
391
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,160
What, like a disruption...
392
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,360
No, an actual worm was in Nick
when we went through.
393
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,440
An actual two-headed
something or other.
394
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,400
We need to put it back in there
so we can swap back.
395
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:27,840
Right, where is it?
396
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,240
Well, we looked everywhere the other
side, so that leaves...
397
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,800
Grab it!
I'm trying.
398
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,680
Come in, come in, come in.
399
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,480
So, this is probably the
best feature of the house.
400
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:47,000
Hey, get off me tail.
Tail, don't you mean me head?
401
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,600
What do you want?
402
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,720
Can't you see we're eating?
403
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,960
Yeah, this is the most delicious
stuff we've ever tasted.
404
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,440
I don't care! You're coming with us.
405
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,760
You're getting back in and swapping
-us back.
-Why should we?
406
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,480
What's in it for us?
407
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:04,600
How about a whole box to take home?
408
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,040
Um...
409
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,840
THEY CONVERSE
410
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,560
-BOTH:
-Deal.
411
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,920
Well, now that we're about
to get back to normal,
412
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,280
I'd just like to say, I've learned
an awful lot from being inside you.
413
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,600
-Don't say it like that.
-I just mean,
you've got a difficult job.
414
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,560
Yeah, you two, and four wives?
415
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,160
I don't see them much.
Too busy working.
416
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:29,040
I hear you. Right, now all we have
to do is put these buyers off.
417
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,160
How should we...?
418
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,280
This is the...
419
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,920
-Hello.
-Hiya!
420
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,840
Everything all right?
421
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,080
We'll be in touch.
422
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:41,280
You haven't seen the garden yet.
423
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,240
God, I hope this works.
424
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,720
That feels weird.
425
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,440
What on earth happened with them?
They seemed so keen!
426
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,960
I think the rats are back.
427
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,240
CEREAL POURS OUT
428
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,440
Bye! And thanks so much.
429
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,840
Going to have to diet after this.
430
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,480
-The worm has turned.
-Don't do that.
431
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,640
So, must be nice to be back in
your own body again.
432
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,160
Elf?
433
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,800
Oh, sweet momma.
434
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,480
Subtitles by Ericsson
435
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,520
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